I always hear, "You gotta be civil" but I'm not very good at this. In fact, I don't even know why you have to be civil. I just ran into someone that I've known my entire life on the streets of New York. Now, her and I are no longer close and we both know this as I have made it extremely clear over the past few years. During our meeting, however, I was civil and I enterained her questions. She claims to be doing well for herself and I told her that I'm happy she's getting her life back in order, which is a true statement. Then, the conversation turned to the part I wanted to avoid. She spoke about wanting to be close again and yatta yatta yatta. This forced me to remind her that I hate her. Now, I was trying to avoid this part but what do you want me to do? lie in the name of being civil? She came out and asked "Do you really hate me?" Yes, I do. I'm not going to lie, I'm going to answer her question. It seems ridiculous to me that I need to somehow, in the name of some retarded rule to try to be civil, to lie to her. It's her fault for asking. This isn't even the first time, she continually asks me this and forces me to confirm again and again that I want nothing to do with her.
Why do people subject themselves to this masochistic behavior. Who gives a shit if I don't like you, why is it so important to people to be liked by everyone? Personally when I find someone that everyone likes, I become suspicious of them and accuse them of being fake. I keep hearing that if people were brutally honest all the time, the world would be a mean place (see the move The invention of lying). But at least you know where you stand with people. Not this constant guessing about duplicity, sincerity and the like. So fuck being civil, if I've told you I hate you chances are I still do. The more you ask, the more upset I'm going to be at you and the more ammo I have for my arsenal that is already large enough for me to come to the conclusion that I hate you, so really you're just fueling the fire. And if you hate me, tell me, I won't hold it against you...In fact, I will respect you for it.
And for you Hippies that hate the word hate, I will say that you cannot love if you can't hate.
