Response to college humor gay marriage

There’s a college humor video about gay men threatening straight men that are against marriage to approve of gay marriage or else the gay men will steal their girlfriends and “marry the crap out of them” Let me respond to those gays that made that video.  So their point is that they’re all ripped because they love the gym.  One, I know a lot of gay men that aren’t ripped; they’re not nearly as homogeneous and stereotypical as the video implies.  But their “ripped” physique is really just a show.  What happens if someone tries to attack the girl?  Clearly the gays won’t care as much as they are “taking one for the team” so to speak.  That and they don’t want to mess up their designer shirt with its perfectly pressed sleeves.  Do you really think that guys care if our pizza stained T-shirt is damaged?  No, real men aren’t image conscious; they wear their scars as a badge of honor.  Not sure if “chicks” really do “dig scars” but men think they do.  We are much more likely to get in between a man much bigger than us and our lady.  Sure we get our asses kicked and maybe we’ll wake up in a pool of our own blood but our goal is really just to distract the man so that the woman can get away.  If we succeed in that, it doesn’t matter how bloodied we are, hell we’d brag about it.  It would be nice to win the fight but if we don’t oh well.  You think your kisch cooking flamboyantly gay man will bloody his immaculately smooth skinned face for you?  I think not.  This piece is assuming that men act like real men.  Nowadays, they are a very rare breed and maybe it’s because men are becoming more and more effeminate.  I know many heterosexual men that act like women….hell I have trouble finding ones that don’t in New York as I say in my book.  So, you know what men do cook now.  But let’s pretend that men act the way they say in the video, IE the way men should act.  What happens when it’s late at night and something goes bump in the night?  Men will grab a weapon whether it be the fireplace poker, a baseball bat or something and go walking around the house searching for what that noise may be.  Dave Chappelle makes fun of white men in horror movies for always “going outside to investigate. “  But that’s an accurate assessment to what we would do.  If your lady wakes you up and says, “What’s that?”   You’re going to go check it out.  And maybe you’ll die, but hopefully you make enough noise that your lady knows to call for help and not be embarrassed if it turned out to be nothing.  Real men would gladly die to keep their lady protected.  Will your gay husband do that?  Nope, he’ll just cuddle with you with the covers over their head as if an intruder couldn’t tell from the lumps if they were to come in.  That physique won’t do you any good if you’re not willing to use it to protect your woman.  But alas, women would love the gay husband.  Unfortunately, real men are only necessary when shit hits the fan or when you have the illusion that something is amiss.  What happens when a mouse comes into the house or there’s a spider that needs to be killed?   Your gay husband will jump up on the chair screaming with you.  While we’ll chase it with a knife or a gun trying to kill it.  In the Spider case, we would use our hands if you’re not in the room but if you are, then we’d resort to a shoe or a paper towel.  For those of us that are superstitious, we would let the spider crawl on something and carry it outside and let it back into its natural habitat while you and your gay husband stand on a chair screaming bloody murder.  We will also fix things We’re very handy and can save us a lot money by doing home construction ourselves.  Your gay husband would never rugged or callous those smooth hands of his.  The interesting thing about this is I don’t actually know what women want. Growing up women were appreciative that when they were overly emotional, I was the steady rock of Gibraltor.  They could come to me about anything and I wouldn’t have an emotional reaction no matter how fucked up it was.  I would offer my advice and normally it helped.  Past couple years however, it’s just gotten me into trouble.  Women tell me, ‘I want someone to cry with me” and I’m not very good at that.  Also, my non-emotive dissect the situation stripped of all emotion analysis just make them upset.  So, yes your gay husband will cry with you.  When you’re crying on his ripped physique, he’ll be getting your hair wet with his tears.  He may whine about how your tears are ruining his pristine shirt but normally they’re sensitive enough to just not bring that up….but they’d be thinking it.  Real men wouldn’t.  Fuck the shirt, let it all out and cry, I will be the sturdy force.  Which one would women prefer?  I guess it depends on what the situation is, but I think more often than not, they would rather have the person they’re crying on, crying with them…which makes no sense to us real men.  But women were never good at logic. 

I’m assuming that everything in the video is true.  If it’s true that women have already told the gay men how they like to be kissed or fucked and expect real men to just intuitively know….well then whose fault is it that you don’t get fucked the way you want?  Women’s.  You’re supposed to be the communicators, if you tell your gay friend but not your lover because you expect your lover to intuitively know that’s your fault, not ours.  It’s not our fault that you share more with them.  Sure, the gay guy is more understanding and more willing to listen but on the topic of sex, real men are interested.  Now if you tell us and we refuse then the gay men have a point but if you tell the gay guy how you liked to be fucked but not us, it’s not our fault that they kiss you the way you want to be kissed and fuck you the way you want to be fucked and we don’t, it’s actually yours. 

Defending guns in Newtown massacre

Like many people, in the wake of the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT, I found myself asking, "What kind of person can stare at a 5-year-old down the barrel of a gun and pull the trigger?  The shocking thing is, when you look at the facts, it is actually an extremely common psychological state.  I know anti-gun people will scream that this is why guns should be banned but I believe these instances are evidence for why we need less gun laws. 

Quickly, the psyche of a man that goes and kills 20 kids and 6 adults. it's shocking to me that the facts I've heard have been very contradictory.  I'm going to go with the scenario that he killed his mother at home, drove to the school, broke a window of the school, snuck in and opened fire on his mother's classroom before moving to another classroom.  This is a classic case of someone that is striving for his mother's affection.  He felt that his mother loved the kids she taught more than she loved him, so he punished not just the mother but the objct of her affection too....the kids. At first I wanted to call it "Oedipus" but Oeidpus you only kill the object of your mother's love so you can be with the mother.  If it was Oedipus, I guess he would have to kill only the students.  It is common, however, for a kid to feel jealous that their parent loves somebody else more than they love them.  This is merely an extreme case of that.  The most disturbing statement I've heard is "If you want to kill your parents that's fine but...." we have come to a point in our society where that's how we start sentences.

After this tragic event, I think that teachers should start bringing guns to school.  You obviously can't rely on the government or security to protect you fom these psychos so you have to defend yourself.  If teachers were armed, the bad people with guns would be disinclined to try anything and when someone tries to kill students, the teachers can shoot back.  I'm not sure it would have really helped in the Newtown case because he did have the element of surprise, but it wouldn' have hurt. 

One final political point.  If there are people capable of shooting 20 kids under the age of 6, then I'm pretty sure we can fine people that would have no problem shooting a heinous criminal firing squad style. 

Autographed copies of my book can be bought at the bottom of this page

Is encouraging your kids a bad idea?

I remember when I was young, my little brother and I took a laundry basket of things we no longer wanted to this mound of grass across from my house to sell them to cars as they drove by.  My pappou (grandpa) was one such driver.  He pulled over and looked at our items focusing on a microscope.  He asked how much we were charging for it.  I said, “You can have it for free because you’re our pappou”

My brother said, “No, you have to pay us full price”

My pappou put down the microscope pointed at my brother and said, “He’ll go far in life” then pointed at me and said, “You won’t be”

Now that both me and my younger brother are in our late 20s, it’s not looking good for my pappou’s prediction.  I have been financially independent from my parents for about five years now, living on my own in the greatest and one of the most expensive cities in the world while traveling all over the world on my own dime.  My brother, on the other hand, is a constant college drop out and is currently on year 8 since he enrolled with no graduation in sight.  He constantly borrows money from my family and his life has been a series of failures that he continually blames on anyone but himself.  I take this as proving my pappou wrong.  In fact, of the four kids my parents spawned, I am the only one that is financially independent from them.  The others may go off on tangents trying to make it on their own but they always end up getting fired or quitting early on and coming crawling back to my parents’ house or their bank accounts.  It’s possible that I will hit a rough spot in life and be forced to do the same thing but to date; I have gone the longest without any financial help from my parents whatsoever.  The interesting this is, if you talk to my parents they will extol their other three kids and glaze over my accomplishments.  This has always been true throughout my life.  At first I told myself that I was successful despite them, but now I’m beginning to wonder if their lack of faith in me growing up, and my underdog status helped me.

There was once a case in which a father named his oldest son “Winner” and his younger son “Loser” because at birth he believed he could tell which one would be successful and which one wouldn’t be.  As it turned out, Loser was extremely wealthy and prosperous while Winner led a life of drug and alcohol abuse and going in and out of prisons never amounting to anything.  The question becomes was the father wrong or did Loser have a chip on his shoulder that drove him?

I had always wanted to live in New York, a city my father despised as he grew up in New York.  For the entire first year of college, whenever he spoke to me, he’d start the conversation with “Do you hate New York yet?” I always responded, “No” and now that I’ve been here for over 10 years, I still love it.  Both my parents applaud my older brother for his genius but he has failed in every business endeavor he has ever tried.  My sister is hailed by my mother as a survivor but she, aside from finding a fiancée whose parents house she can stay at, has never been able to even split rent on an apartment and keep a job for over a year.  Yet my mother still calls her a survivor and a grinder to get what she wants, but her life is a series of failures as well.  I never get any credit from my parents.  My mom writes off my success with “Well your cousin got you the job, so you needed help.” 

The difference is that I was given an opportunity and ran with it, grinded, survived. In 2005, my sister kicked me out of my brother’s apartment while he was away.  I lived from friend’s house to friend’s house while working a job but living out of a backpack for months waiting out my sister until her failures forced her back to the Midwest where my parents lived letting me reclaim a permanent residence.  Who’s the survivor in that story?  If you ask my mother, it’s still my sister.  Everyone else in my family has made contacts, gotten opportunities but have squandered all of it.  One person gave me one shot and I ran with it.  Yet, my parents will still praise my brothers for their ingenuity and my sister for her ability to grind and survive without any basis in fact.

All four of us were raised by the same two people.  The only difference was they believed in me the least and I am the most successful by any objective standards.  Loser was always the child that was neglected and ignored but he rose above it to become much more successful than his brother.  Psychologists say that these golden children are pushed too hard by their parents and that’s what causes their collapse.  Maybe, but my theory is, they feel entitled to things therefore are not willing to work for it.  Since they don’t work for it, they fail miserably.  So when it comes to raising your children, perhaps downplaying their accomplishments and teaching them to only blame themselves for their failures may be the best way to help them succeed.  My father was extremely successful and his father told him from an early age that he would be pissed at him if he took over the family business (diner).  He said to him “I flip burgers so you don’t have to” From an early age my father was taught that his father wouldn’t accept him crawling back to him after college.  I personally refused to crawl back to my parents’ house in the Midwest because I hated living in the Midwest and I love NewYork.  Once the safety net was taken away, success seems like the only option….and that’s what me and my father did.  Though, I’ve gone this long without praise, so I don’t think I deserve any. After all, it appears praise is what gets people into trouble!