There’s a college humor video about gay men threatening straight men that are against marriage to approve of gay marriage or else the gay men will steal their girlfriends and “marry the crap out of them” Let me respond to those gays that made that video. So their point is that they’re all ripped because they love the gym. One, I know a lot of gay men that aren’t ripped; they’re not nearly as homogeneous and stereotypical as the video implies. But their “ripped” physique is really just a show. What happens if someone tries to attack the girl? Clearly the gays won’t care as much as they are “taking one for the team” so to speak. That and they don’t want to mess up their designer shirt with its perfectly pressed sleeves. Do you really think that guys care if our pizza stained T-shirt is damaged? No, real men aren’t image conscious; they wear their scars as a badge of honor. Not sure if “chicks” really do “dig scars” but men think they do. We are much more likely to get in between a man much bigger than us and our lady. Sure we get our asses kicked and maybe we’ll wake up in a pool of our own blood but our goal is really just to distract the man so that the woman can get away. If we succeed in that, it doesn’t matter how bloodied we are, hell we’d brag about it. It would be nice to win the fight but if we don’t oh well. You think your kisch cooking flamboyantly gay man will bloody his immaculately smooth skinned face for you? I think not. This piece is assuming that men act like real men. Nowadays, they are a very rare breed and maybe it’s because men are becoming more and more effeminate. I know many heterosexual men that act like women….hell I have trouble finding ones that don’t in New York as I say in my book. So, you know what men do cook now. But let’s pretend that men act the way they say in the video, IE the way men should act. What happens when it’s late at night and something goes bump in the night? Men will grab a weapon whether it be the fireplace poker, a baseball bat or something and go walking around the house searching for what that noise may be. Dave Chappelle makes fun of white men in horror movies for always “going outside to investigate. “ But that’s an accurate assessment to what we would do. If your lady wakes you up and says, “What’s that?” You’re going to go check it out. And maybe you’ll die, but hopefully you make enough noise that your lady knows to call for help and not be embarrassed if it turned out to be nothing. Real men would gladly die to keep their lady protected. Will your gay husband do that? Nope, he’ll just cuddle with you with the covers over their head as if an intruder couldn’t tell from the lumps if they were to come in. That physique won’t do you any good if you’re not willing to use it to protect your woman. But alas, women would love the gay husband. Unfortunately, real men are only necessary when shit hits the fan or when you have the illusion that something is amiss. What happens when a mouse comes into the house or there’s a spider that needs to be killed? Your gay husband will jump up on the chair screaming with you. While we’ll chase it with a knife or a gun trying to kill it. In the Spider case, we would use our hands if you’re not in the room but if you are, then we’d resort to a shoe or a paper towel. For those of us that are superstitious, we would let the spider crawl on something and carry it outside and let it back into its natural habitat while you and your gay husband stand on a chair screaming bloody murder. We will also fix things We’re very handy and can save us a lot money by doing home construction ourselves. Your gay husband would never rugged or callous those smooth hands of his. The interesting thing about this is I don’t actually know what women want. Growing up women were appreciative that when they were overly emotional, I was the steady rock of Gibraltor. They could come to me about anything and I wouldn’t have an emotional reaction no matter how fucked up it was. I would offer my advice and normally it helped. Past couple years however, it’s just gotten me into trouble. Women tell me, ‘I want someone to cry with me” and I’m not very good at that. Also, my non-emotive dissect the situation stripped of all emotion analysis just make them upset. So, yes your gay husband will cry with you. When you’re crying on his ripped physique, he’ll be getting your hair wet with his tears. He may whine about how your tears are ruining his pristine shirt but normally they’re sensitive enough to just not bring that up….but they’d be thinking it. Real men wouldn’t. Fuck the shirt, let it all out and cry, I will be the sturdy force. Which one would women prefer? I guess it depends on what the situation is, but I think more often than not, they would rather have the person they’re crying on, crying with them…which makes no sense to us real men. But women were never good at logic.
I’m assuming that everything in the video is true. If it’s true that women have already told the gay men how they like to be kissed or fucked and expect real men to just intuitively know….well then whose fault is it that you don’t get fucked the way you want? Women’s. You’re supposed to be the communicators, if you tell your gay friend but not your lover because you expect your lover to intuitively know that’s your fault, not ours. It’s not our fault that you share more with them. Sure, the gay guy is more understanding and more willing to listen but on the topic of sex, real men are interested. Now if you tell us and we refuse then the gay men have a point but if you tell the gay guy how you liked to be fucked but not us, it’s not our fault that they kiss you the way you want to be kissed and fuck you the way you want to be fucked and we don’t, it’s actually yours.
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