Theo the Trump Employee Episode 43 Georgetown education

                Theo is back to work in the White House.  The mood has changed as the possibility of war is palpable in the air.  As a microcosm of the country, those in the White House are conflicted about what the policy is.  The one thing that most of those in the White House believe, however, is that the Commander in Chief is up to the task to make the tough decisions.  They have learned that what their boss says on twitter is normally exaggerated to give him wiggle room for negotiations.  Part of the head of the house’s genius, however, is he was unpredictable.  You never really knew what was exaggeration or completely accurate.  President Trump had tweeted out that he has 52 targets in Iran if they attack Americans or American soil.  In response to Iran-led attack on the US embassy in Iraq, President Trump authorized an attack on an air strip to kill Quaseem Soleimani, who is an Iranian international terrorist who has worked all over the Middle East.  Since then, Iran has been shooting rockets near the embassy.  Although this frightens many Americans, Theo looks it at as posturing.  President Trump’s statement was attacking American soil, which the embassy is.  By shooting near the embassy, they are not attacking American soil but still showing strength.  It appears that the president is willing to let this go so long as no Americans are killed.  It’s either they are acting like children who wave their hands in front of your face as they taunt, ‘I’m not touching you’ or they are really bad at aiming their missiles and continually miss their target.  As work ends, Theo heads toward Georgetown to do his weekly ritual of debating liberals.  Unlike other times, he isn’t quite sure he has a strong footing as he is conflicted himself.

                He orders a drink and sits down with his ear out for anyone willing to speak politics.  Finally he hears a redhead girl opine, “I mean we’ve never even heard of Soleimani and now we’re to believe he was this huge threat?”

                The group she’s with nods and voices their agreement.  Theo smiles and turns to her and utters, “Do you think that when we went to war with Iraq that they had leaders of their armies and generals?”

                “Of course.  They may not call them ‘generals,’ but every army has rankings and officers.”

                “Name one.” The girl looked around and opened her mouth as she stuttered.  Theo continued, “Do you think that American soldiers have died in Iraq?”

                “Not as many as Iraqis”

                “Not even close, but that should be what we wanted since we are Americans so, theoretically, we should be rooting for the Americans to kill more Iraqis than vice versa.  My question to you is do you think that they’ve killed any of our soldiers?”

                “Yes, obviously”

                “Who is responsible for those deaths?”

                “You have a lot of questions.”

                “Just admit you don’t know.”

                “I just don’t think we should be in the Middle East in the first place.”

                “That’s a different debate but we are there and we  have people targeting us and trying to kill us.  Even now when we’re merely trying to establish a stable environment and government in Iraq so they can govern themselves.”

                “What are you getting at?”

                “Soleimani is responsible for at least 607 American deaths in Iraq.  His training and strategic strikes account for 17% of all American deaths in Iraq.  So, when you tell people that he wasn’t really a threat; I think you’re proving your retardation.”

                The redhead’s eyes widened as she gave an expression of disgust and offense.  Her chin went down to her chest before she replied, “Well, I read in the New York Times that the video Pompeo showed was labeled in a way to mislead the public.  It wasn’t them celebrating Soleimani’s death.”  Her voice got more snippety as she was gaining confidence and asserted, “I would think the people who actually live there would know if he was so bad.”

                Theo nodded and snickered, “You just read the headline didn’t you?”

                The girl went back to looking around the room, “Ummm, no I read the article” but there wasn’t much conviction in her voice.

                “How was it misleading then if you read the article?”

                “They were cheering something else.  It was taken out of context.”

                “Despite you’re vague, safe comment, it still wrong.”

                “Well, fine, I don’t remember”

                “They had a problem with Pompeo calling it a ‘dance.’  They were adamant the people weren’t dancing but running.”

                “That’s it?  I mean he showed the video, people could call it whatever they want.”

                “That, we are in agreement on.”

                “I had a lot of studying to do so I don’t have time to read every article.”

                “Well, if an article catches your eye and you think you may bring it up in a public debate, you may want to actually read the article next time.”

                “Fuck you asshole.”

                The redhead scurried to the other end of the bar.  A bald boy approached him and scolded, “You could have done that a little nicer.”

                “I could have but then it wouldn’t have been as fun.”

                “You do know that before doing any military action, the president has to consult congress.  Trump is acting like a dictator with these unilateral decisions.”

                “False, check your constitution.  The president, as commander in chief, can engage in military action for up to 90 days without consulting congress.  Bill Clinton was famous for this as he did more than every president before him combined.”

                “That’s not what I heard….”

                “Stop listening to mainstream media and read the Constitution jackass.”

                “You really don’t like tact.”

                “No, I really don’t”

                “I think that former military advisors know more than you do.”

                “I would hope so but I’m not that confident in that.  To your point, Jeh Johnson tried to educate Chuck Todd about this as he told Todd that there’s no necessity for President Trump to call someone a terrorist before killing him.  It is fully within his rights to kill Soleimani no matter what he calls him.”

                “Of course he’s going to say that; he works for Trump and Trump will attack him on twitter and fire him if he says anything else.”

                “Jeh Johnson was Barack Obama’s Department of Homeland Security Secretary.  He is no longer in a government position and never was in President Trump’s administration.”

                “Wait, so, it was Obama’s guy?”

                “Yes, Obama’s guy doesn’t think that President Trump broke the law when he killed that savage terrorist Soleimani.  Since you believe former DHS secretaries know more than I, do you think they know more than you?”

                “Why would Todd say that then?”

                “There are international rules that you can’t assassinate foreign leaders so if you pretended that he wasn’t a terrorist, then you could argue it’s an assassination and they could try to indict President Trump because every other time they change the meaning of words and rules, it has failed but they are persistent.”

                “Basically you’re accusing Todd of what he accused Trump of.”

                “If Democrats didn’t have projection, they would have nothing.”

                Scrambling, the boy declares, “Look, with all these scandals and stuff, you have to admit that it doesn’t strengthen our country.  After this impeachment, I mean he’s only the third president ever to be impeached. Don’t you think he’s a little too weakened to be talking tough to the world with any credibility?”

                Theo was about to respond when a black haired girl beat him to it, “Ask Soleimani.”

                Theo had a perplexed look and as his mouth was open to speak, he closed it and looked at her realizing that he had nothing to add to it.  The black haired girl extends her hand, “Hi, I’m Patricia”

                “Theo”

                “Nice to meet you.”

                “Likewise.  Good comeback by the way.”

                “Thanks, look, I’m not saying I agree with you as you seem to be a Trump supporter but I just think the Democrats nowadays are just crazy.”

                “Yes, you may not like the president but you have to admit TDS is real.”

                “TDS?’

                “Trump Derangement Syndrome.”

                “Oh, most definitely.  He became president and people went fucking crazy.  He’s made everyone so nuts that they are no longer capable of rational thought.”

                “Not everyone but definitely the Democrats.”

                “Even I have to admit that.  I mean, they’re defending horrendous people.  You have Pelosi complaining about Trump calling MS-13 ‘animals.’  They are a violent gang that rapes women and kills people.  You really want to defend them over Trump?  Trump may be bad, but he’s not a gang thug.”

                “How about the mainstream media complaining that President Trump met with Kim Jung Un to negotiate denuclearization?”

                “Right, they seemed to be rooting for Kim!  They wanted instability and aggression from Kim just to embarrass Trump.  They would have rather had him nuke South Korea than have Trump look good.”

                “There is nobody in the world that the Democrats hate more than Donald Trump.”

                “Even now, Michael Moore sent a message to the Ayatollah in Iran to coordinate an operation to take out Trump.  He urged him to let us impeach him or beat him in the election in 10 months.  Who the fuck does he think he is?”

                “That’s why I was happy that at the Golden Globes, Gervis destroyed the Hollywood elites.  Nobody cares what they think because they don’t live in the real world and have less education than Greta Thunberg.” 

                “Yea, comedy is a security blanket because culture is down stream of politics.”

                “The funniest jokes have an element of truth to it.  It moves people away from the fringes in a non-aggressive or forceful way by highlighting something that everyone knows but never really thought about or wanted to say.”

                A blond girl snapped, “I don’t think he was that funny.”

                Theo chuckled, “That’s because you’re a little snowflake.  Gervis went after political correctness so no safe space for you little snowflake.”

                As if she was trying to prove his point, the blond shook her head as he eyes watered and she covered her face as she walked away.  The black haired girl sighed, “If we don’t change the culture, than politics don’t matter.”

                “AIn’t that the truth?”

                A blond boy walked over as word got around the bar that a Trump supporter was starting problems.  He inquired, “I supposed you’re excited about Durham’s report.”

                “Not really.  I’m not going to be happy for anything less than indictments and incarcerations but I don’t think that’s going to happen.  Because of that, I don’t really care.”

                “Who do you want to get indicted?”

                “Hunter Biden, James Comey, John Brennan, Peter Strzok, John Kerry, Joe Biden….”

                “I get that point.  Why Comey though?  He investigated both Hillary and Trump?”

                “He lied to a FISA court and pushed a hoax dossier that he didn’t even bother to verify.  In fact, he knew it was a lie filled document but passed it off as true anyway.”

                “What crime did he commit?  I think Brennan is the problem.”

                “I’ll just go with the least controversial one.  First off, I agree, Brennan misled the FBI because the CIA has no prosecutorial power.  He needed the FBI to prosecute for him.”

                “So Comey just got shitty information by the CIA so it’s not Comey’s fault.”

                “He knew it was BS within a couple months.  The fact that he didn’t nip it in the bud when he realized that it was salacious and unverified, makes Comey culpable too.”

                “Again, what’s the crime?”

                “I’ll just go with the least controversial one.  On one hand, you have Brennan saying Comey pushed the Steele dossier to be included in the intelligence community assessment that they bragged about; the whole 17 agencies agree nonsense.  Comey, on the other hand, tells us that Brennan was the one that pushed it.  Both of them said it under oath in front of the House intelligence committee.  One of them is lying because both those statements can’t be true.  Someone lied to congress and committed perjury and George Papadopoulos and Mike Flynn all got indicted and George was incarcerated for lying to congress.”

                “Clinton was impeached for it.”

                “Right”

                “Which one do you think is telling the truth?” Patricia posed

                “Comey”

                “How much of a liar do you have to be when people believe Comey’s word over yours?”

                Theo laughed, “That’s a good point.”

                The blond boy was undeterred, “How?  Brennan didn’t see the dossier till December 2016.  That assessment was before the election.”

                “He misled to the media.”

                “What proof do you have?”

                “Can we agree that besides the dossier, there is no other document that says President Trump colluded with the Russians?”

                “No, they talked about a corpus of information and mosaic.”

                “Like what? Name one other thing.”

                “I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s classified and the government knows.”

                “Nobody has insinuated anything.  So much has leaked and you’re telling me that all these sources have been successfully kept under wraps?”

                “I don’t know, fine it was just the dossier.”

                “In August 2016, Brennan briefed the house gang of eight.  After the meeting, Harry Reid tells the FBI to open the investigation into Trump colluding with the Russians.  The information Reid gave the FBI is only found in the dossier.  If he knew about it after meeting with Brennan, then what does that mean?”

                “So he lied”

                “Maybe not”

                “But you said…”

                “I know what I said but he has a lot of contacts in England and he’s friends with Steele’s former boss, Richard Dearlove and Bob Hanigan.  He may have been talking to Steele directly.”

                Patricia offered, “Or he was spying on Glenn Simpson and Steele too.”

                It was Theo’s turn to have his eyes widen as he was stunned by this possibility.  He replied, “I mean, he was CIA.  That is what they do.  They spy on people and, like I just said, he had many contacts in London.  He lured people to Britain so he could have his birdies spy on them in ways that are illegal here.  Glenn Simpson did go to London to meet with Steele.  Yea, this could actually be legitimate.”

                The blond boy rejoined, “Maybe Brennan and Comey were working together against a common enemy Trump.”

                “Unlikely because during sworn testimony, Lisa Page seemed legitimately surprised to learn that it was Brennan that told Reid about the dossier and Russian collusion.”

                Patricia added, “She was also surprised that the CIA had Steele as a source too.  She admitted it would be unusual for the CIA not to give them the documents directly and share their source.”

                The blond boy retorted, “Comey probably prepped her.  She is FBI and a lawyer.  She prepped herself.”

                “I agree that’s what she would have done but she stutters and seems to be trying to get her thoughts in order by muttering and constantly going in a different tangent as she appears to be attempting to figure something out in her head and speaking just to buy her time.  If she rehearsed it, then she would have had the answer and stated it firmly.”

                “Could all be an act.”

                “Could; but unlikely.”

                Patricia glared at the blond boy and he got the message to just walk away and he did.  Theo closed his tab and turned to Patricia, “Well, I better get home.  It was nice talking to you” he articlulated as he extended his hand.

                Patricia looked at his hand and gave him a dirty look.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and Theo hugged her back, “It was nice talking with someone that actually has a brain and isn’t just parroting what the news tells them.”

                “Likewise.”

                Patricia kissed Theo on the neck and his body tensed up.  He gave her an apologetic look and walked out of the bar.  Theo got on the train and headed towards his house in Rockville, Maryland.  While on the train, an elderly woman pronounced, “Now that they’re letting illegals vote, California is going to have more electoral votes so it will be harder for Trump to win.”

                Theo blurted out, “Actually, there’s a mass exodus of people from California.  203,000 people have left in the last year so the census believes they will actually lose seats.”

                “Where are they going?”

                “Mostly Texas but also Arizona and Colorado.”

                “Why do you suppose that is.”

                “Well, the optimistic way to look at it is that people are wising up and realizing that liberal states suck and it’s better to have freedom and not be taxed up the ass.”

                ‘You would see it in other liberal states if that were true.”

                “Illinois lost more residents in 2010s than any other state.  New York is also losing people.”

                “I guess it helps the president.”

                “Not necessarily.  A lot of times when these people flee high tax liberal states, they end up voting for people who support the very thing they fled.  People are stupid.  If enough Democrat Californians move to Texas to turn it blue, then not just President Trump but a Republican may never win again and America may become a socialist country after all.”

                “Let’s hope people are smarter after suffering”

                “History would say otherwise. Florida is purple because of the all the New Yorkers that moved there and continued to vote Democrat.”

                “What do you think of this Iran conflict?”

                “So far I agree and commend everything the President has done.  If he invades Iran though, then it’s going to seem to be against his criticism of going into Iraq when Bush was president.  I wouldn’t agree with him if he did that but targeting people, killing Mullahs, huge bombing campaigns and defending our embassy, he has my full support.  I really don’t want to invade Iran but it’s not up to me.”

                “Well, they keep chanting ‘death to America’ so we may have no choice.”

                “There’s always a choice but it’s one man’s to make.”

                “I would concur.”

                Theo reached his stop and got out and went back to his house.  Unlike most times he takes on college liberals, this time he really felt he learned something.  Patricia has some insights he hadn’t thought of before and knew he’d be pondering it.  That kiss on his neck did excite him but college girls were a little too young for the 35-year-old. Still temptation was strong and he technically he was single. 

 

Fanis the Bodyguard episode 34 Evergreen Iraq

                Boris Johnson has just become the new prime minister of England.  Similar to most households in England, there is a split in Kera’s household.  Kera lives with her cousin and bodyguard Fanis in a flat she owns.  Although they are both Americans, Kera needed to be closer to China as she is a Chinese antiquity dealer.  Given that most her buyers were in the west or Europe, it was more strategic to be based out of London to go back and forth to China to pick up artifacts to then sell on the global market.  Fanis is excited that Boris Johnson won because he is on the side of Brexit.  As Fanis is gloating, Kera opines, “You know that our being able to easily travel within Europe is essential to our business?  BRexit hurts us because it’s harder to travel within Europe if England isn’t part of the European Union.”

                “Yea, like it was so difficult to travel internationally before the European Union.” Fanis responded sarcastically

                “Well, it wasn’t, but now we have to give our passport every time.”

                Continuing with the sarcasm, “Oh no! We have to give them something that we carry just in case anyway.  And whatever will you do when you go to China all the time to pick shit up when England is not part of the European Union?  Oh wait, it has no effect at all and that’s where you go the most.  Even when we do have customers, we seem to go back to the Western Hemisphere more than we do in Europe.”

                “There’s a good reason for that.”

                Fanis wasn’t oblivious to realize that they never did business in the United States.  When they went to the western hemisphere, it was always in a Caribbean nation.  Deep down, he knew this was probably a sign of nefarious activity but he purposely ignored it because he didn’t want to believe his little cousin was dirty.  Instead, he ignored the implication and replied, “Face it, it doesn’t really affect us.”

                “Well, just for your information, we do have to travel.”

                “Where are we going?”

                “DR” she declared and then giggled.

                Fanis chuckled and shook his head.  ‘DR’ meant the Dominican Republic so, to Fanis’ point, they were going to the Caribbean and not Europe.  It’s trips like this why Fanis wondered why they ever left New York but it wasn’t his call.  Fanis made sure to have 10 dollars on him when they landed because you have to pay in cash while going through customs.  Even though this is the case, there are no ATM’s before you reach customs so if you don’t have cash on you, you’re stuck.  As they travelled a lot, Fanis once had Dominican Pesos on him and tried to pay them with that upon entering and they refused their own money preferring US dollars instead.  Although it is conventional wisdom to always have cash when you travel, Fanis rarely followed that rule.  One of his trips to the Dominican Republic was only one of two times it ever got him into trouble.  The entire world was used to credit cards by now and if they weren’t, they all had ATM’s to get cash in country. 

                While on the plane, Kera asks Fanis, “Did you ever think we’d end up here?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Remember when you came to NYU and I was still in high school?”

                “Yes, that’s when we started growing apart and you were a little hippie waving ‘no blood for oil’ bumper stickers in my face even though you don’t have a car.”

                “And you were too much of a dork to realize that people put bumper sticks on other things besides cars.”

                “Now kids put them on their laptops”

                “Yes, they do.”

                “I don’t see much of a difference.  I was overprotective over you then and I still am.  The only difference is you pay me to protect you now.”

                “Well back then you were grabbing cigarettes from me not letting me smoke.”

                “That’s true.  I let you smoke now.” He retorted with a smile

                Kera’s tone was reflective but Fanis couldn’t help but be facetious.  She ignored the comment, “I guess you’re right though, not much has changed.  We were debating about Iraq then and we’re still debating about Iraq.”

                “You got caught up in liberal talking points back then.”

                Kera turned serious, “Like what?  There were no weapons of mass destruction.  We know that now.”

                “That’s not the point.  The point is that he had chemical weapons that he was using to kill massive amounts of people.”

                “That’s not what Bush said.”

                “Well, it doesn’t look too good to say that we need to go to war to clean up my father’s mistakes.”

                “At least it would be honest.”

                “Yea well, I’m not sure if it would be good for the country.”

                “You’re a little older than me.  I have no recollection of the first Bush.  How did we go to war to clean up Bush Sr’s mistake?”

                “George Bush Sr. gave Saddam Hussein chemical weapons to defend himself and his sovereignty.  He was our friend until he wasn’t.”

                “Sounds familiar”

                “Yes, hence all the isolationist conservatives usually engulfed with the ‘paleocon’ label.  Anyway, Hussein ended up using the chemical weapons to kill the Kurds and his own people.  Since we armed him and he misused our weapons, we had to go in to take him out.”

                “Which we did.”

                “Yes”

                “I think people would have felt a lot better about that if he said that instead of lie to the American people.”

                “He didn’t lie.  His DOJ told him there were weapons of mass destruction so it was a good excuse to go.  Better to give one reason rather than the one that makes it seem like America fucked up.  Unfortunately, the intelligence community was wrong.  I guess you’re right, things don’t change.”

                “Is that a shot at the CIA and FBI for what they did to your boy Trump?”

                “Yes, absolutely.  Keep in mind the FBI was founded by a man that blackmailed high ranking people.  Kennedy wanted to dissolve it and even though Donald Trump hasn’t said it, I don’t think he’d be too upset if the FBI was dissolved either.”

                “Trump was against the war.”

                “Yes, he was but once we were there he didn’t think we should pull out till the job was done.”

                “So he flip flopped”

                “No, the situation changed.  Originally, it was their problem but then we destabilized it so rather than leave the power vacuum, we needed to stabilize the country after killing their leader.”

                “Now, the embassy is being attacked and Trump is president.”

                “16 years later”

                “I can’t believe it’s been that long”

                “I agree.

                They land in the Dominican Republic and Fanis and Kera hand the customs people the ten dollars cash.  Although they’ve never tried pounds, they assume that would work too.  They jump into a taxi and head toward Punta Plata.  As they drive through the streets with people running around with squeeshies to clean your windshield while you wait at a red light for a coin and a massive amount of flea-infested stray dogs, Fanis is surprised when they enter an immaculate landscaped area.  He turns to Kera, “We’re staying at a resort?”

                ‘Yea, La Romana”

                Although Punta Cana is reputed to have the nicest resorts in the Dominical Republic, La Romana in Punta Plata would give any resort in Punta Cana a run for its money.  Like all resorts, you have the beach and a large pool but there are restaurants overlooking an immense valley that gives you the greenery of the island as well as the waterside. It is midday when they get to the resort and Fanis and Kera drop their stuff off.  Kera wore her bathing suit underneath her clothes but Fanis had to change as male bathing suits are uncomfortable to be flying on a plane with.  They head to the beach bringing only a towel as it’s an all inclusive resort so they won’t be needing money.  They dive into the Caribbean Sea and enjoy the massive waves.  Kera goes back before Fanis does to lie out in the sun.  As she is alone, womanizers do come by but it isn’t anything she can’t handle.  They spend the rest of the day on the beach with Fanis alternating between fighting the waves and resting on the beach and Kera working on getting darker and cooling off in the water.  When the sun sets, they grab dinner and then go back to the hotel to shower and change before heading back down to drink.  They tipped the waiter 20 pounds when they first got down there and now they could expect their stay to include a shadow always carrying a refill of their drink. 

                The next day, Kera meets with her client for the real reason she came to DR.  As they are in the resort, Fanis isn’t really on edge because people don’t normally try anything in the resort.  He still doesn’t drink because he needs to be sharp just in case but he’s much more relaxed than he would have been if they weren’t in the resort.  He talks with the bodyguard for the client and asks, “Where are you from?”

                “U.S,”

                “Me too”

                “As I understand it, you are British”

                “Do I sound British?”

                “No, but there’s a lot of different dialects in Britain and I don’t really detect American either.”

                Fanis has a speech impediment that most people mistook for an accent.  He preferred the accent narrative so never bothered to correct people.  The entertaining thing was when he lived in New York.  As he grew up in Cleveland, New Yorkers assumed his ‘accent’ was an Ohio accent.  When he left New York, however, and told people he was from New York, people usually followed with, ‘I can tell by the accent.’  Fanis always held himself back from firing back, ‘Obviously you can’t’ but refrained.  Oddly, this assessment by the bodyguard is the most accurate description as he freely admitted he can’t place the accent.  He rejoined, “Only British people can really tell the difference between the varying accents within England.  As an American, you should know that it’s definitely not British.”

                “I would agree with that.  I’d go so far to say that it’s nowhere in the United Kingdom.”

                “You’d be correct.”

                “What do you think about this embassy blunder?”

                “Not sure it was a blunder, they protested, President Trump and Secretary of State Pompeo took care of it.”

                “Makes you think that Trump may be on to something with not getting involved over there.  I mean, the Iraqi police force didn’t really do anything for us on this one, we had to send marines over there.”

                “I do think his isolationist policy is the better strategy but he understands that the places where we have intervened we need to see through.  Obama really allowed ISIS and terrorists to garner power in the Middle East.”

                “Actually, it was Bush that got us involved.”

                “Bush won the war.  He accomplished his objective”

                “There were no weapons of mass destruction”

                “That was shitty information by the CIA and intelligence community.  He killed Saddam Hussain, he stabilized the region and they were on pace for self-sufficiency until Obama fucked it up again.”

                “It was an absolute disaster.  A historical mistake.  You’re an idiot if you believe that it was anything less.”

                “Then I’m an idiot because they accomplished the objective but as casualties mounted, we no longer got international support.  That’s a key issue though; we had international support when it started.  Do you remember the surge?”

                “When Bush told everyone that the major fighting was over?”

                “That was obviously false.  I think this was after that.”

                “No, I don’t remember.”

                “In 2007, four years after the war started, Bush was facing a lot of pressure to get out of Iraq as support for the war had plummeted once it was determined there were no weapons of mass destruction”

                “Yes, that I know”

                “So Bush had a choice; accept defeat and leave Iraq in chaos or double down and send even more troops into battle.”

                “He chose the second one.”

                “That he did and we call it ‘the surge.’”

                “Alright, what’s your point?”

                “All the Democrats bitched about how bad of an idea it was.  Harry Reid, Joe Biden, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton threw in the towel calling it lost and the surge was a waste of time, money and men.  These are the same people, by the way, that thought we needed to go because they also believed Saddam when he said he had weapons of mass destruction.  Patreus and 30,000 troops proved them all wrong when they reversed the course of the war.  In a year, attacks on US troops were down 90%, American casualties were extremely rare, we secured the most dangerous neighborhoods in Iraq, Al Qaeda was decimated and the oil was flowing again allowing them the possibility of economic security that led to rebuilding the country and free elections were being held.”

                “If all that is true how do you explain the embassy?”

                “Well, we had eight years of Obama to fuck it up.”

                “How did he do that?”

                “Keep in mind in 2009, Obama credited Iraq with how far they came.  Now, it’s not really like European or American elections, but not bad for the Middle East.  Obama was impressed with the strong participation and relative peace.  That is what he inherited when he took over.  He said all this in January 2009, right after he got inaugurated so you can’t give him credit.”

                “Fine”

                “In 2010, Biden did a complete 180 and became optimistic about Iraq because he wanted to take credit for Bush’s work.  Biden predicted that it would be one of the greatest accomplishments of Obama’s administration.”

                “Something tells me he’s about to eat those words.”

                “Yup, Obama and Iraqi leaders got in a disagreement over a status of forces agreement.”

                “What’s that?”

                “Iraq wanted to prosecute American soldiers that broke Iraqi law.”

                “Fuck that, we’ll deal with our men.  Those ungrateful bastards are going to police us?  Hell no.”

                “Obama said the same thing.”

                “Well good!”

                “The point is, when you’re a country leader, you need to learn how to negotiate.”

                “Yea, that is part of the job description”

                “Do you think it’s a good negotiating tactic to say no and then decide not to speak to him again on the matter?”

                “Well no, you don’t want the head of a country to feel unimportant and slighted.  Nobody likes being ignored.”

                “Well, that is what Obama did.  He actually used this conflict to pull all the troops out of Iraq and on December 18, 2011, the last US troop went to Kuwait.”

                “Well, that is what he ran on so he fulfilled a campaign promise.”

                “He did, and what resulted was Islamist terror returned in the form of ISIS destroying the balance and coexisting of Sunni and Shiite.  With no Americans, Iran filled the political vacuum and ISIS filled the security vacuum.  ISIS took over big cities like Fallujah, Ramadi and Mosul.  Not bad for what Obama called ‘the JV team’”

                “That was inevitable.”

                “It wasn’t when they took office.  The point is that resolve works and retreat doesn’t”

                “What’s the answer though?  Continued American presence indefinitely?  I say let the Middle East fight amongst each other.  Maybe we can just support Israel so they don’t get wiped off the face of the Earth but no more helping death to America crowds.”

                “Keep in mind that the person that led the raid on the embassy was a friend of Barack Obama’s and Obama gave him a boatload of cash.”

                “That’s what I mean, we should stop being nice to these people.  We give Hussein chemical weapons; he attacks the Kurds and his own people with it.  We give Iran a bunch of money and make a huge deal, they attack our embassy anyway.  These people aren’t our friends and we shouldn’t help them anymore.”

                “My only point is that Bush was successful and Obama fucked up what Bush did.”

                “Yea, but he fucked it up by pulling our troops out.  The only alternative is to never pull our troops out.  There was no exit strategy because Iraq would never be peaceful.”

                “Like President Trump said, we should never have gone in the first place.  When you’re there, however, you need to see it through and not just retreat for political reasons.”

                “I don’t know; it’s complicated.”

                “I see your point though.  How do we have prolonged troop placement but we have troops all over the world.  I think it’s just a sign of the times now.  I’m a little selfish because I really wish Iraq was stable enough for tourism.  I’d love to be in between the Tigris and Euphrates river.”

                “Why?”

                “It’s the birthplace of civilization.  How cool would that be?!”

                “Well, good luck with that.  Maybe you can get some military transport or something.”

                “Yea, my cousin is in the army.  I could see what he could do but I’ve mentioned it before, he doesn’t seem to be willing to help me out.”

                Kera finishes her deal and they head out.  Fanis shakes hands with the other security guard and they part ways even though they’re in the same resort so will probably see each other again.  Kera and Fanis decide to go on a dune buggy excursion.  After going through a light hearted speech about safety that is never really a concern in Caribbean islands, they are fitted with goggles and a cloth to wear around their mouths.  Kera looks over at Fanis and utters, “Now we look like ANtIFA”

                They head out on the dune buggies and the tour guide warns them that they are about to go into Haiti so be prepared to see poor people.  They go through a neighborhood where dark skinned little kids are walking around naked.  It’s hard to feel bad for them though since they all have huge smiles on their faces as they run to the path holding out their hands hoping for a high five from the dune buggies driving through.  Kera and Fanis oblige.  Fanis knows that Punta Plata is nowhere near the Haitian border so these kids are actually Dominicans and they are still in the Dominican Republic but the tour guides wanted to pretend that their country doesn’t have these areas.  It quickly became apparent why they had the goggles and cloth as the dirt kicked up by the buggies are no joke and consumes everything you’re wearing.  It’s not difficult to imagine how irritated your eyes would be or how much you’d be coughing up something in your throat without them.  They stop at a sugar cane field and eat raw sugar cane right off the stalks.  Kera makes the mistakes of trying to swallow what she bit off not realizing that you bite it, get the taste of the sugar juice and then spit out the rest.  It is time to go on again and Fanis and Kera head off.  There is someone in between them but given that they’re all going to the same place and in the same group, neither is worried.  As they go, the person in front of Kera stops and waves over a tour guide.  He starts speaking to him in Spanish and Kera avoids running into him by stopping her buggy.  The guy gets out and walks into a field and Kera realizes that he needed to go to the bathroom.  As they are surrounded by sugar canes fields, she can’t go around him so she just waits.  The cloud of dust has long dissipated and Kera realizes that she’s alone with the guy who went to the bathroom and the tour guide.  The tour guide uses a walkie talkie and calls ahead.  Spanish is spoken over the Walkie Talkie and the tour guide gets in his buggy and takes off.  Just when Kera starts to get worried, the man returns from relieving himself.  He voices to her in English, “Don’t worry; I know where we’re going.  Just follow me.  There’s really just one path.”

                Kera smiles, which is pointless because her face is covered so she just nods.  Suddenly, the man reaches in and cups a hand over her mouth.  He easily drags the 5’4” thin Kera out of the buggy and drags her in between the seven foot sugar cane plants.  Kera tries screaming but nobody is around and her mouth is still being covered.  She squirms and kicks but the man drops her and mounts her.  He puts a small pocket knife to her throat and points his pointer finger of his other hand in front of his face signaling for her to be quiet.  Kera stops squirming and moved her head up and down indicating she’ll behave.

 

                As Fanis is motoring along, he notices he doesn’t hear any engines behind him.  He turns around and sees nothing but dirt.  He stops the buggy and clicks his watch that activates a GPS tracker on Kera’s bracelet.  He sees that it’s stationary and he takes a deep breath.  He turns the buggy around and heads towards the signal still unsure if he’s being paranoid.  As he goes, he sees the tour guide who is waving and signaling for him to go the other way because he’s going the wrong way.  He stops the buggy.  Unlike Kera, Fanis is fluent in Spanish, he barks in Spanish, “Where are the people who were behind me?”

                “They stopped to go to the bathroom.  They’ll catch up.”

                “Fuck that” he screams in English and darts his buggy toward the signal. 

If he walks in on Kera squatting then so be it.  His doubts are put to rest when the tour guide maneuvers his buggy in front of his as his is much faster and he’s better at maneuvering it.  He barricades the path and pulls out a machete.  Fanis slams the break and turns the buggy to the side.  Before the buggy comes to a full stop, Fanis leaps out and reaches behind him where he has a Kukri strapped.  It made it very uncomfortable with all the bumps on the rocky trail but he never left home without it.  He swung the large blade across the tour guide’s neck as he had his machete arm up brandishing it to the side leaving his entire body open.  Fanis’s 215 pound body followed his Kukri wielding arm knocking the tour guide out and driving the knife deep into his throat.  He then hopped into the tour guide’s buggy and raced toward Kera.

 

Kera pleaded with the man but he gripped her T-shirt and yanked the collar apart ripping it down the middle exposing her bra.  He clipped the knife back onto his waist and lowered his body unbuttoning her shorts and yanking it apart shooting the zipper down.  He pulled down her shorts with her panties and Kera kicked her legs managing to shove him off her.  She turned around and crawled away trying to get her feet under her.  The man tackled her down and lied on her straddling her legs.  He slapped his hands down on her bare butt and squeezed.  He slid his right arm under her left arm and lifted pulling her arm up while he grabbed a hold of her long dark hair.  The man rolled to his right bringing Kera with him as he wrapped his legs around hers interlocking his ankles.  He reached with his left arm and fondled her breasts as he kissed her neck.  He whispered, “Fighting will only make it worse.  Just let it happen and you won’t get as hurt.”

Kera squealed but she was effectively restrained and movement was difficult.  “Get the fuck off me” she commanded to no avail then tried, “Don’t touch me” with the same effect.

Fanis had gotten to where the tracker was and his watch was telling him to go into the cane field.  He stopped the buggy and got out following his watch.  As he walked through, he saw Kera being engulfed by the limbs of a larger man.  He yelled out, “Hey!” not knowing what else to say. 

                The man releases Kera and stands up alarmed that someone interrupted them.  Fanis glances at Kera and notices that her bottom is down but her top is still fastened.  He shoots his gaze back to the man and realizes that his pants aren’t lowered.  He thinks he’s not too late but it seems conflicting.  The guy explains in English, “I’m here with my girlfriend. We’re just having some fun.”

                Fanis scolds back in Spanish, “That’s my cousin bendajo, and you’re not her boyfriend.”

                He pulls the knife and Fanis looks down at the Kukri, which he still has in his hand and stares back incredulously at the man with a three inch blade.  Kera pulled her shorts and panties up and motioned herself behind Fanis.  The guy runs into the field and Fanis tosses Kera his three inch pocket knife and chases the man using the Kukri to clear the sugar canes from his path.  Kera calls out to him, “Fanis, let him go….” But realizes he’s already gone

                She walks toward the Dune buggy and sits in it opening the knife and clutching it like it’s a life line.  Fanis realizes that he has lost the man but he’s still whacking away trying to find him.  He listens for any movement or Kera screaming.  He was right to think that the guy double backed on him but it wasn’t to go after Kera.  Fanis hears a rustling behind him and turns a step too slow as a shoulder drives into his back sending the Kukri flying into the field.  Fanis scrambles to his feet and the guy wraps the knife around his throat.  Instinctively, Fanis brings his left leg behind the man’s right and ducks under his right, knife-wielding-arm pulling it with him.  With Fanis out of the way, he drives the man’s arm to slam into his chest.  Fanis is a little confused not to hear a gurgling noise or any reaction to the knife that just stabbed him in the chest.  Instead, he hears a calm voice taunt him, “You Americans always think you can come into other people’s countries and take over.  What is it you say, ‘Bush lied, people died.’”

                “Bush didn’t lie.  He had bipartisan congressional approval to go to Iraq.  Germany, Britain and Russia all thought he had WMD’s.  He definitely had chemical weapons because we gave it to him.  He had to go.”

                Fanis was 6’ and the guy he was tangling with was 6’3” so Fanis couldn’t see in front of him.  He rose to his tip toes to see over his shoulder and saw the knife lying bloodless a few feet ahead of him.  The guy was smart enough to drop the knife during Fanis’ maneuver.  Being on his tip toes, he was off balance so when the guy flew his elbow back it caught Fanis in the face and staggered him.  Fanis regained his footing only to find a spinning Dominican punch him across the face.  Fanis dropped to all fours and tucked his head in between his arms.  The Dominican seemed to notice this so he jogged forward and kicked Fanis in the midsection flipping him onto his back.  The Dominican stepped on his chest and looked down, “There were no nuclear weapons.”

                Fanis grabbed the man’s leg and wrapped his right leg around it locking it in place.  He kicked at the man’s waist and he toppled backward while he retorted, “If Saddam Hussein just let the UN inspectors in, they would have known that.”

                They circled each other as blood was emulating from Fanis’ nose from the elbow shot.  Fanis stepped forward jabbing his arm but it was blocked and the bigger Dominican grabbed a hold of his shirt and yanked him towards him.  He wrapped Fanis up and picked him up to toss him.  Fanis leaned back and slipped his thumb in between the man’s hands wedging them open.  He got his feet underneath him and when the man planted himself for more leverage, Fanis stepped on his thigh and shot his body upwards.  He yanked the man’s goggles down around his neck and then pushed off his shoulder. He grabbed a hold of the goggles in his left and hooked the plastic that goes over the eyes on the top of the sugar cane.  Fanis grabbed the top of the sugar cane vine and kicked his legs onto the man’s shoulder.  He jumped up and kicked him hard in the temple as he landed hard on the ground falling over seven feet.  He collapsed on the fall but quickly got to his feet.  He saw the man struggling with the goggles and Fanis ran at a full sprint twisting his body to the right and putting his entire weight behind a punch to the jaw knocking him out.  Fanis fell with the punch.  Realizing he knocked him unconscious, he retrieved his Kukri and cut off some vines.  He walked over to the man and bent his knees back tying his shins to his thighs.  He then walked off and let the man hang by goggles. 

                When he returned, Kera had her mask and goggles off.  She gave him a dirty look and he stared back at her with an unfriendly glance as well.  “What the fuck are you still doing here?” Fanis scolded

                “I have no idea where I’m going.”

                Fanis nodded and got in buggy.  It was made for one person so Kera had to wrap her arm and leg on Fanis while he drove.  He sped down the path surprised to find that his buggy was nowhere to be found.  He followed the path until it forked and he stopped.  He saw some locals walking and he yelled out in Spanish, “Where are the others?” hoping they saw the buggy and figured he meant the other people with buggies. 

                They pointed down one of the forks and Fanis thanked them zooming his buggy hoping they didn’t le or were wrong.  Turns out, they were right and he arrived back at the starting point.  The tour guide gave him a wry smile but said nothing.  Fanis had a feeling they knew what happened but something told him they weren’t complicit but forced to comply.  They handed him a bottle of Mamajuana, which is a Dominican liqueur.  Fanis took it as an olive branch and shrugged his shoulder thanking them.  Kera shook her head and put up two fingers indicating she wanted one too.  The tour guide obliged and they took the van back to the resort.  There really was nothing else to say.  When they got back, Fanis and Kera walked to the beach with shoes and all and jumped into the water to wash off all the dust.  After rubbing their clothes, they emerged from the water and went back to their hotel putting out their clothes to dry.  They put on clean shirts and bathing suits and went to a restaurant to eat.  Kera took a deep breath, “You know, you didn’t have to chase him into the field.  You got him off me, we could’ve just left.”

                “He attacked you.  He needed to die.”

                “So you did kill him?”

                “Yes”

                “You don’t always have to go killing people.”

                “If they try to rape you I do.”

                Fanis stared hard at her to watch her reaction.  He was really hoping the operative word ‘try’ was accurate.  Kera noticed and sighed, “No, he didn’t rape me.  You got there in time.”

                “Would you tell me if I didn’t?”

                “Probably but I sure as hell wouldn’t have criticized you for killing him if he had.”

                Fanis accepted this explanation.  They finished eating and went to the beach deciding not to go on any excursions anymore.  Their shadow followed them with drinks whenever their current ones ran low.  After another night of drinking, they went to bed set to leave in the morning.  By the next day, the incident was already behind them as it was just the nature of their business.  The only mention they made was when Kera noticed Fanis right hand was larger than his left.  “You didn’t ice your wrist after punching some dude did you.”

                “No, I wanted to hang out on the beach.”

                “15 minutes man, that’s all it took.”

                “It’s fine.”

                “Yea yea, I know you’re tough” she stated with a mocking tone. 

                They got on the plane and headed back toward London.  “Why don’t you criticize Trump for the Iraq embassy attack but you crucified Hillary for Benghazi?”

                “The Americans at the Iraq embassy asked President Trump for help and he sent a bunch of marines to help them.  When the Americans at Benghazi asked Obama and Hillary for help, Obama and Hillary sent nobody and let them die.  I’m not quite sure how you thought they were equivalent.”

                “It was a large group using a battering ram to knock down the door.”

                “Until the marines showed up and they all dispersed and ran away like the cockroaches they are.”

                “Maybe it was more untenable in Benghazi”

                “There are contingency plans that weren’t implemented in Benghazi.  They were in Iraq and now there’s peace.  How could you possibly say they were the same thing? My problem with Hillary and Obama is that they did nothing.  I wanted them to respond to the call for help.”

                “No, you wanted them to know that there would be an attack on September 11 because it’s obvious as an anniversary.”

                “I do think security should be increased on every September 11 but if there is still an incident, they need to be backed up.”

                “Fine”

                “I don’t know how this is a controversial point.”

                They arrive in London and go back to Kera’s flat.  When they go in, Kera looks up and comments, “I never thanked you for helping me in that cane field.”

                “You’re welcome.  It’s my job.”

                “Yea, I know but I just want you to know that I appreciate it.”

                “Good, that’s nice to hear.  It doesn’t get old either.  Maybe you should try to eat more so that people don’t want to rape you anymore.”

                Kera rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Now I remember why I don’t thank you.”

                Fanis laughed and Kera giggled.  They went back to their normal routine awaiting the next time duty called for them to travel.