Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 51 Blowing Off Steam

                Fanis is an American living in England.  Like many people around the world, he is irate with the socialist tyranny in the form of lockdowns all over the world.  He especially is upset about it happening in America considering he believes America is the last best hope for the world.  Living with him is his employer Kera.  Kera and Fanis are second cousins and Kera hired him as her bodyguard because as a Chinese artifact dealer, she finds herself in remote areas in places that may not be too friendly to women.  Given the deep pockets of her clients and enemies, she needed someone she knew couldn’t be bought off.  Since Fanis grew up with money, he was the perfect candidate.  In the beginning, people had tried to bribe him but his vitriolic and barbaric response to it sent a wave around the international community not to even try it.  Fanis was pacing around the flat barely able to control his anger.  This excited Kera because a pissed off bodyguard was much more effective at his job because he’d take it out on people who may try to hurt her.  Kera knew that Fanis would never hit her so had no problem egging him on.  She knew why he was upset and she was about to add fuel to the fire, “You know, you were so happy when the DOJ dropped their case against Mike Flynn but you just didn’t anticipate the judge would refuse the motion to dismiss.”

                Fanis turned towards his cousin and barked, “That’s because it doesn’t happen!  If this was a movie, everyone would think it was ridiculous.  In fact, every single movie when the prosecution decides to drop all charges, they don’t even bother to have the judge accept it because it’s implied.”

                “Well, he opened it up to friends of the court to see if anyone else wanted to take over it.”

                “How is that not double jeopardy?”

                “I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer.”

                “You don’t’ have to be to know that this is bullshit.  The DOJ acknowledges that it was an entrapment ploy and the judge wants leftists groups to go take their pound of flesh?  This is a sick human being.”

                “There was a lot of pressure from the media.  Even Barack Obama criticized the DOJ for dropping the case.”

                “That’s exactly why they’re doing it; to destroy Flynn in the court of public opinion by letting his sworn enemies file ‘official’ documents attacking him and lying about him.  It’s mudslinging but this time instead of the media, it’s a fucking federal court.”

                “It’s not just any leftist group; these lawyers that penned the op-ed were the ones who investigated Watergate.”

                “They also wanted Trump to be impeached and look how that turned out.”

                “I’m just saying they’re credible.”

                “You’re not credible because you did something that worked out 45 years ago.  Have you learned nothing the last three years?  What happened to Christopher Steele being credible because he was involved in FIFA?  It actually turned out that his information wasn’t even used for FIFA so even that was a lie but regardless, you don’t get lifetime credibility because you did a good job once.  These 16 jackasses are the ones putting the briefs with the court and they had nothing to do with the fucking case.”

                “Well, if it’s so asinine, then why don’t you have faith in that bulldog lawyer that Flynn has?”

                “Sidney Powell has already filed a motion highlighting that Sullivan is a hypocrite because he rejected 24 previous attempts by parties to intervene in the case.  He is quoted with saying ‘the Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure do not provide for intervention by third parties in criminal cases.  Options exist for private citizens to express his views about matters of public interest, but the court’s docket is not an available option.’  What happened to that?”

                “That’s just for people supporting Flynn not those opposed.”

                “I know you’re joking but the sad part is that’s true.  How could this case get any worse?  You have malicious prosecution by Obama Administration and FBI, Concealment of Brady Material, Coerced guilty plea, ineffectiveness of counsel, independent review by AG/AUSA, prosecution motion to dismiss the case, a judge that accused him of treason and now putting out open season on him for anyone to try to take him out.”

                “I know, it’s a trial court so there’s literally no reason for amici except political.”

                “How does this not piss you off?”

                “I don’t know Flynn and besides I have to prepare for my next meeting.  You should get ready because I think you could use this trip too.”

                “Where are we going?”

                “St. John’s”

                “You miss the beach already huh?”

                “Don’t you?”

                “Yup.”

                “And it doesn’t look like we will be able to go anywhere in the civilized world any time soon.”

                “I’m game.”

                They head to their plane and Fanis notices that there’s no decontamination protocol before they get on like there had been the last couple months.  He queries, “So, what convinced you that this is all an exaggeration and the lockdowns aren’t based in science?”

                “Georgia and Florida opened and the predictions of doom haven’t happened.”

                “Most of the transmissions happened at home too so it seems the lockdowns made it worse.”

                “I was looking at New York’s data and health care workers actually had a lower infection rate than the general population.”

                “It’s all about control.  We were lied to about it being about flattening the curve.  That already happened so they make impossible criteria like testing and tracing.”

                “I just don’t know why though?”

                “Control, power and to hurt Trump.  Blue states will stay locked down to try to stop red states from reviving the economy and opening up.”

                “You’re beginning to make sense.  I get tracing in the beginning but you can’t trace millions of people.  It’s a bit late for that.”

                “They want to create a surveillance state like China.”

                “That’s actually true. The new tracing bill put aside $100 Billion to allow Health and Human Services to come to your house and quarantine a member if you’re sick.  They are literally going to separate families for any positive tests and the tests are geared more toward false positives than false negatives.  It is a police state and socialism has conquered the world.”

                “You never agree with me on these things.  What happened?”

                “It’s blatantly obvious with things that come out.  I mean  I hate Trump as much as the next guy but not allowing people to work and forcibly removing them from their homes all in the name to destroy the success he had with the economy is going too far.”

                “Don’t I know it.”

                They arrive in St. John’s and check into their hotel.  Just like the other Caribbean destinations, there are not many people there.  Since St. John’s is predominantly run by tourism, they love their new visitors and are willing to allow them complete access to any beaches even if they deny locals the same courtesy.  Kera and Fanis buy beer and drink on their balcony before turning in. 

                The next day, Kera meets up with her client and Fanis waits outside with the other security guards.  He strikes up a conversation with one knowing that they are about to talk about politics as that’s what everyone wants to talk to Americans about.  The guard inquires, “What do you think about all this Russian collusion stuff?”

                “I think it’s obviously a hoax.  There hasn’t been a shred of evidence in three years and there’s a lot of evidence that he was set up and members of his campaign have been entrapped.”

                “Yea, I saw someone call it the greatest fiasco in his over 50 years of journalism.”

                “That was Brit Hume of Fox”

                “Yea, all because they hate President Trump.’

                “Yup and Hume normally doesn’t inject his opinion.  He’s a straight news guy so it’s saying something he came out like this.”

                “Why won’t the Washington Post, New York Times and the other big media people just retract everything?”

                “It’s worse, they’re doubling down.  They keep pushing it and they’re doing the same thing with the Wuhan Virus.”

                “How do you figure?”

                “Anything that points to opening, they are against and anything pointing to keeping it locked down, they approve.”

                “Yea, I noticed that too.  They keep praising Cuomo and Hogan because they want to stay locked down till August.”

                “Cuomo killed people by forcing nursing homes to take in Wuhan Virus patients.  He even sent them with body bags.”

                “What about CNN?”

                “They have the worst guy of them all.  This dumbass, Brian Stelter, is trying to tell us that we are only talking about the Russian Collusion hoax and the setup of Mike Flynn to distract from the Wuhan Virus.  He talked more about the Russian collusion allegations than anyone on the planet.  It never ceases to amaze me how easily and comfortably the media contradicts themselves and engage in hypocrisy.”

                “I think this is the end of the world.”

                “Unfortunately, I agree with you.”

                Just as they were getting into it, the door opens and Kera emerges.  Fanis bids farewell to the guard and they head to the beach.  As they put their towel down, they each strip to their bathing suits and dart toward the water diving in.  They hang out in the water for a while and then retreat back to their towel.  As they are laying out, a man approaches and questions, “You from America?”

                Fanis responds, “Originally yes, but now we live in London.”

                “Do you know that your Speaker has just proposed a $ 3 Trillion spending bill?”

                “Yes, we are aware.”

                “You do realize that there is no money to do this.  There was no money for the last three or four either.”

                Fanis noticed the venom in the man’s voice so he got up and stepped so that Kera was behind him.  He responded, “There’s not much we can do about it.  She is actively destroying the economy just to hurt Trump.  It’s sick and sadistic but we’re not government officials.”

                “Why don’t the Republicans block it or Trump veto it?”

                “The Republicans are pussies and Trump likes the roller coaster.  That’s why he applied for bankruptcy nine times.  He likes people thinking that he’s down and out only to do the impossible and resurrect it.”

                “That’s fine with your money but now with a country’s”

                “I agree with you.  It was my biggest fear when he was running.  It sucks that it came true.”

                “Don’t you realize that the world economy runs on America?  If you fail, the whole world fails.”

                “I do realize that but again there’s nothing I can do.”

                “Call your congressman”

                “We don’t live in America anymore.”

                “Pelosi’s bill has stuff that has nothing to do with the virus.”

                “I know, she wants to get rid of the SALT deductions, which did exactly what Democrats always say they want; it taxed the rich and left the poor alone.  Since it attacks property taxes, and Pelosi’s San Francisco district has the highest property taxes in the country, it’s no wonder she wanted that in there.”

                “She’s not even pretending this time.  She specifically said she wants to bailout states without any stipulation that it has be virus related.”

                “That’s because she wants the federal government to bailout Democrat states for decades of money mismanagement.”

                “Is it just Democrat states?”

                “Pretty much.  Florida has more people than New York but their budget is half that of New York’s yet it’s cleaner and has fewer potholes.”

                “They are increasing the unemployment benefits.”

                “All that means is that people who lost their job are less likely to go back to work even if they’re allowed to.”

                “Why is the postal service and student loan forgiveness on there?”

                “Because Pelosi is retarded.”

                “How can you just sit there and do nothing about it?”

                “There’s nothing I can do.”

                The man shoved Fanis, “You’re an American.  You can call the representatives from when you used to live in America.”

                Fanis glared at him and declared, “If you touch me again, you will regret it.”

                “Oh yea” as the man took a swing at Fanis who ducked. 

                As the man spun back, Fanis swung his left fist into his jaw knocking him down.  He then put his hands up in retreat as he just wanted to discourage him for continuing the fight.  The man nodded and apologized so Fanis put his guard down thinking that it had the desired effect.  The man drove a fist into Fanis’ stomach and put him in a headlock.  He knew what he was doing as he sprawled his legs to increase the pressure on Fanis’ neck but lower his center of gravity to make it extremely difficult for Fanis to lift him up.  Fanis maneuvered his thumbs in between the man’s palms and then snapped his head down breaking the grip.  The man unleashed a flurry of fists but Fanis dodged them all and when he stopped to catch his breath, Fanis grabbed his arm and pulled him toward him as he drove his knee into his solar plexus.  Fanis reached down and grabbed the man’s hair on the back of his head and drove his face into his knee repeatedly. 

                The man dropped to his knees and Fanis let go of his head allowing him to collapse face down in the sand.  Fanis panted more out of anger than exhaustion and shook his head.  He scurried forward and kicked the man in side repeatedly before stomping on his back as he taunted him for blaming him for the economic collapse of America perpetuated by the state governors; mostly blue states. 

                Fanis reached down and grabbed the man by the sides and gingerly hoisted him up.  He bent down and wrapped his arms around the man’s legs and straightened his knees putting the man over his shoulder he then walked to the water and unceremoniously slammed the top half of his body into the water.  Now that he was in the water, he was easier to maneuver and Fanis turned him over and shoved his head under water.  Although the man was unconscious before, the realization that he was about to die woke him up.  He squirmed and thrashed trying to get his head above water but Fanis had a strong hold of him and soon his body went limp. 

                Fanis took a deep breath and exited the water and Kera was already packing up their stuff.  When he got back, she stated, “Well, I guess our beach day is over.  Come on now, we need to get our stuff and get the fuck out of here.”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “Do you feel better?”

                “Yes, I do.”

                “Good, Mike Flynn is still a political prisoner though.”

                “Yea, but I’m not as upset about it as I was before.”

                Kera giggled, “Awesome” she blurted out

                They go back to the hotel and get their stuff and board the plane.  On the plane, Kera articulates, “Maybe, we should avoid Flynn for the time being.”
                “Why? I got my catharsis.”

                “I know I don’t want to ruin that.”

                “It doesn’t matter.  Marie Yovanovitch has popped up again.”

                “The former Ambassador to Ukraine.”

                “Yea, the one that testified under oath that she didn’t know much about Burisma and never met any of their officials nor was ever briefed.  She admitted that she had talked to Joe Biden and Barack Obama but not Hunter and never about Burisma.   Turns out she was lying.”

                “She perjured herself?””

                “Yea, contacts have just been exposed between the US Embassy and Burisma and she was the head of the embassy.”

                “That’s circumstantial.  It could have just been people at the embassy and not necessarily her.”

                “Unlikely but there were state department memos showing Burisma wanted to polish their image before Trump took office.”

                “If you’re going to convict her of perjury, you need to have evidence she talked to Burisma, not the embassy.”

                “You mean like the e-mail she received in September 2016 about how Burisma hired an American firm named Blue Star Strategy to help their reputation and how they elected Hunter Biden to their board?”

                “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

                “Or how about that there is documentations of a closed door meeting between Burisma representatives and Ambassador Yovanovitch?”

                “Now you’re getting it.  What were these meetings about?”

                “Pressuring Yovanovitsch to drop corruption charges against Burisma owner Zlochevsky.”

                “Well, with everyone distracted by Flynn and Covid19, they can work to get this without much opposition.”

                “Well, Senator Johnson of Wisconsin has subpoenaed records from Blue Star and the Atlantic Counsel but Romney is blocking it.”

                “Why is Romney blocking it?”

                “His friend works at Burisma.”

                “Ah, so now we know why he was the only Republican to vote to remove Trump from office.”

                “It’s all making sense now why the observer in January 2017 wrote that Ukraine tried to tip the election in Hillary’s direction.”

                “Where have I heard the Atlantic Counsel before?”        

                “It’s an anti-Russia group that’s heavily funded by Viktor Pinchuk, who is Hillary Clinton’s largest donor.”

                “There you go.”

                They arrive back in London and head to their flat and decompress from their long trip for a short period of time.  Before turning in, Kera gets serious with her cousin, “Look, I don’t know why you get so worked up over politics.  You need to calm down a little bit.  Even if socialism comes to America, black markets will emerge and I’m very good at grinding in black markets.” He gave a wry smile as he had a feeling that she was doing it even before the pandemic but said nothing.  Kera continued, “Fanis, I know you want to be kept in the dark about things that aren’t about buying and selling Chinese artifacts but it’s getting to a point where it might be inevitable for you to be keyed in.”

                “Well, let me know when we’re there.”

                “You may not have to hold your breath.”

 

Nouno the Vigilante Episode 52 The final nail in the Flynn Coffin

 

                In a western Kentucky town named Hopkinsville, a 24-year-old man named Drayton Jones is at a high school party.  Jones endeared himself to the party goers by offering to bring alcohol, which the hosts of the party jumped at.  While there, he starts talking to a 15-year-old boy.  At the end of the night, he offers to drive the boy home as the high school student is very drunk.  The boy agrees but instead of taking him home, Jones takes him to his house.  Once inside, he makes a pass but is rejected when the 15-year-old tells him he’s not gay and takes his phone out to call a ride sharing service.  Jones slaps the phone out of his hand and punches the boy in the face.  As the sophomore in high school tries to defend himself, he is no match for Drayton even by normal standards but especially in his inebriated state. He can’t believe he got himself in this situation but males rarely worry about being raped and are less likely to think something suspicious when invited to a stranger’s house.  Barely conscious, Jones bends his victim over his bed, pulls down his pants and sodomizes him.  After he finishes, he takes the boy and unceremoniously throws him out of his car at the hospital.  Unfortunately for Drayton, he’s already in the police’s systems for drug-related charges and they easily match his DNA. 

                In a surprise move, Kentucky Governor , hoping to be re-elected, pardons Drayton Jones and allows him to go free. 

 

                Across the country, in Arizona, Nouno and his wife Abby are sitting in their house.  Abby sits next to her husband and wraps her arms around his neck.  Nouno looks down at her hands and lifts them seeing her cracked skin and frowns, “Babe, you need to stop washing your hands so much.  Your hands used to be so silky smooth and cute.”

                Abby had an offended look on her face and scoffed.  She fired back, “You do know I kill people right?”

                “Yes, I do.”

                “Then you may want to watch when you say hurtful shit like that.”

                “Look, we’re not 65, we don’t have co morbidities, it’s time to stop panicking.”

                “I know you don’t like the lockdowns but say that, don’t comment on my imperfections.”

                “You are beautiful.  You know that.  I don’t know how you couldn’t considering you get cat called everywhere you go.”

                “Not anymore because everything’s locked down so nobody is outside.”

                “All the more reason why you should be on my side.”

                “The lockdowns are needed for public health.”

                “They are unconstitutional.”

                “It’s only temporary.”

                “Really?  How long?  Arizona isn’t doing the bad.  It seems New York and Michigan are the only ones they are and, low and behold, they have the strictest lockdown measures.”

                “We want to keep people safe.”

                “They are hurting public health.”

                “I understand the economic aspect and how people turn to substance abuse and commit suicide but, not to be callous, that’s kind of on them.  Life is full of setbacks and you have to keep grinding no matter how much it throws at you.”

                “The virus wasn’t nearly as bad as the models said it would be.”

                “You know a lot of people that have died.”

                “No, I don’t.  I know people who know people.  It’s always ‘my wife’s grandmother, my father’s aunt.  Very rarely is it someone under 65 and didn’t have a co-morbidity.  If you’re in the high risk group then it is more deadly than the flu.  It’s more contagious too but if you’re not, it’s not.  The flu is much more deadly in children and, not to be callous, I’m more upset when a child dies than someone in their 70s or older.”

                “We needed to do this or else we would have been overrun.”

                “Even in the epicenter; New York, their convention center was not needed.  The ship has already left because it was practically empty.  They built all these new hospitals for no apparent reason because the hospitals weren’t overrun.  They thought they would need 30,000 ventilators, they needed 4,000.”

                “Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”

                “No, Abby, you don’t get it.  They cancelled elective surgeries and anything non-Wuhan Virus related.  There are no checkups anymore. This has caused small hospitals to file bankruptcy.  There’s not enough revenue for Wuhan Virus especially because there are executive orders for it to be free.”

                “Well, they’ll make it up when things open.”

                “When will that be?  And no, they are forced to close.  How is bankrupting hospitals not putting public health at risk?”

                “I don’t know.  I’m not a doctor.  Your dad is so you have inside knowledge it’s not fair.”

                “Fine, what about the meat shortages that Tyson meats are calling in Iowa?  Do you want people to be deprived of the eight essential amino acids?”

                “Vegans and vegetarians do okay.”        

                “I don’t want to be a vegan or vegetarian.  Don’t you see, the Democrats are pushing their green new deal by declaring all things that they believe cause climate change as non-essential and forcing everyone to stop eating meat.”

                “That’s just ridiculous.”

                “How else do you explain it?  How is our food supply not essential?”

                “Just stick to medicine.”

                “Fine, clinical trials have been cancelled so medical research has stopped unless it has to do with the Wuhan Virus.  What do you think?  Cancer, strokes and other serious diseases are on lockdown because it’s Wuhan Virus’ turn to wreak havoc?  You can’t get tested for cancer anymore so there’s no more ‘catching it early.’  That doesn’t hurt public health right?”

                “I was being a punk when I said to stick to medicine, I didn’t think you’d actually go back.”

                “Well you should know me better than that considering you’re married to me.”

                “I don’t want to talk about this.  We have a case.”

                “Where are we going?”

                “Kentucky.”

                “That’s a good place to go to kill someone.”

                “Why?  Because you had to spend almost four months there and it was miserable because you sucked at the job you had then?”

                “Yes, that’s exactly the reason!”

                Abby books them a flight and they head to Kentucky.  On the plane, Abby Is searching her phone and grimaces.  Nouno looks over, “Something tells me you’re researching to prove me wrong and not finding anything helpful.”

                “The head of the NY Police union, Patrick Lynch, released a statement that his cops won’t be enforcing social distancing and policing businesses from opening altogether.”

                “Oh, so he’s saying their oath to the constitution trumps the orders of a tyrannical communist like De Blasio or Cuomo?  Gee, that’s shocking.”

                “The 1^st amendment doesn’t cover screaming ‘fire’ in a crowded theater when there’s no fire so it’s not that you can say or do anything you want.”

                “You’re saying that governors have the right to act in public interest.”

                “Yes, don’t they?”

                “Yes, but it has to follow certain guidelines and violating individual rights like peaceably assembling is not covered by them.”

                “What are the guidelines then?”

                “First is that there has to be a compelling government interest to do it.”

                “Well, they definitely have that.  There is a pandemic.”

                “There is no asterisk in the constitution that says it’s all null and void during a pandemic.”

                “I get that but I would say that this qualifies as a compelling reason.”

                “Yes, me too and I’m not sure how you can argue against that one.  There is, however, one other pesky little guideline.”

                “Ah, always a catch.”

                “The government needs to act in the least intrusive way possible.”

                “Well, I’m sure they tried to ask them to stop and they refused.”

                “Then you keep asking.”

                “What if they keep refusing?”

                “See who’s more stubborn.  Once you slap the handcuffs on, you’ve surpassed the least restrictive way.”

                “They don’t have all day.”

                “A cop’s job is to de-escalate.  Arresting people for going to work is escalating.  People have a visceral reaction to it because it doesn’t seem right.  Of course, that’s because it isn’t right.”

                “I’m sure they throw out the charges once they’re done.  I mean they’re letting people out of jail who committed actual crimes.  They’re not going to fill them for people who are not social distancing or going to work.  They probably just take them to the station, threaten them, and then let them off with a warning.”

                “Tell that to Jax Myers.”

                “Who’s that?”

                “He’s the owner of a tattoo factory in Apex, North Carolina.  He was arrested and taken out in handcuffs for opening his shop.”

                “He should be.  He violated a shut down order.”

                “He has three kids.  His savings were being drained.  He had to pay rent on the store and his house so he did what he had to do for his family; work.”

                “They waived paying rent on your commercial real estate if you’re not open.”

                “You really think that’s not going to come back and bite you in the ass?”

                “He didn’t have to pay the rent.”

                “Better safe than sorry right.”

                “Fuck you.  He probably was struggling even before the crisis.”

                “Wow, way to comment on something you know nothing about.  It just so happens that he had the number one tattoo place in North Carolina before the pandemic.  Now, he’s two weeks away from going out of business.”

                “Well, I don’t know.  I’m sure he was warned.  They didn’t just come in and arrest him”

                “No, they didn’t.  They threw a bunch of officers at him and they tried to convince him to close and he refused.  The cops, though, also refused to escalate it by arresting him so the mayor or whoever dispatches the teams kept sending more and more officers until one was insensitive and robotic enough to do it.”

                “There you go then.  They tried doing it in the least restrictive way and it didn’t work.”

                “The guideline doesn’t say try the least restrictive way and then escalate.  Besides, your point was they don’t actually charge them but he was charged.  He got a $2,000 fine and a court date has been set so yes they are actually putting this on their permanent record.”

                “Well, I don’t know if I agree with that.  I would have let him off with a warning.”

                “I hope this helps his business.  Hell, when things open up, I just might go to Apex and get a tattoo from him.”

                “You already have two.”

                “Why not a third?”

                “Man, I heard they were addicting but geez I didn’t think you’d succumb.”

                “I got them like a decade apart.  I’m not sure how that’s an addiction.”

                “What if I get one?”

                “You know I don’t like tattoos on women.”

                “Seems hypocritical.”

                “I’m not a woman.  You don’t call me sexist for being against piercings on men.”

                “Does he have a website?  I want to see his work.”

                www.apextattoofactory.com.

                “How is the number one tattoo parlor in North Carolina in a city I’ve never heard of?”

“Beats me but that sounds like city bias.”

                They arrive in Kentucky and stay in an air BNB.  Nouno prepares the room for what they came to do while Abby hacks in Drayton Jones’ social media to find out all she can about him.  After a little while, she shakes her head and exclaims, “Men are gross.”

                Nouno laughs and replies, “I agree but somehow you heterosexual women are still attracted to us.”

                “In Harris County, which is where Houston is, a judge had a website where you could report on people violating stay at home orders.”

                “They tried that in New York and they had to take it down because people kept sending dick pics."

                “That’s exactly what happened here!!  It took 24 hours for it to become too much.”

                “There’s hope for America.”

                “You think a massive amount of people sending pictures of their penises is indicative that there’s hope for this country?”

                “That’s how bad this country has gotten during the lockdown.  Yes!”

                “You’re disgusting.”

                “Only one of us has put a penis in their mouth and here’s a hint; it’s not me.  In fact, you’ve put several different penises in your mouth.  You’ve seen a lot more penises than I have so how can you tell me that sending a dick pic is more disgusting than what heterosexual women do with them?”

                Abby gave a coy smile and retorted, “If you ever want me to do that with your penis again, maybe you’d shut up right now.” Keeping a smile the whole time.

                “What those retards don’t know is that snitching isn’t anonymous.  They’re public record.”

                “Way to change the subject.”

                “Well, when you give a low blow like that, I have to.  I mean there’s edgy and then there’s offensive!”

                “Ah I see.  Wait, so people may retaliate against them?”

                “One guy posted the list on Facebook.”

                “That’s shitty.”

                “They tried telling him that too and gave the same sad story you just did about how they might be targeted.  His response was perfect; ‘that’s kind of the point.’”

                “Some people have auto-immune and other co-morbidities so it’s a real fear for them.”

                “You don’t seem to understand how this works.  If someone is high-risk and they stay home, they’ll be fine.  It’s if they leave or have someone that has been outside come over that they’re vulnerable.  There is no osmosis from infected people to the inside.  Why should healthy people quarantine so sick people can roam free?  If you have a co-morbidity, then keep your ass inside and let the healthy people out.  You know, kind of like we do for all other contagious diseases.”

                “That’s not fair.”

                “But it is to make healthy people act like they’re infected?  This is the logical progression of banning peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from schools because a kid might have a peanut allergy.  Tell that fucking kid to isolate himself.  Everyone shouldn’t suffer because of a handful of sick children.  This is where it leads to that you have to feel guilty for being healthy.  Well fuck that!”

                “Anyway, Drayton Jones is like you.  He’s having a fuck the government party at his house.”

                “Oh good, since he’s a criminal, it won’t get busted up because it’s only law abiding healthy citizens that get prosecuted.”

                Abby rolled her eyes, “I suggest we go.”

                “I haven’t been to a high school party in years.”

                “Me neither.”

                “What did this guy do anyway?”

                “Raped a 15-year-old boy and incapacitated him.”

                “So, since you kill the child rapists, is this your case?”

                “No, if the victim is over 12, it’s all you.  I don’t consider 15 child rape.”

                “The law does but is that because you lost your virginity before 15?”

                “Not all of us were prude and had no game that their first kiss was at 15 and didn’t lose their virginity till they were 21.”

                “I got you didn’t I?”

                “Well, you were a late bloomer.”

                They both pick up a bottle of liquor and beer and bring it over to Drayton Jones’ house.  Not many people showed up to the party and Nouno ended up sitting with Drayton.  Drayton asked, “Have you been following this Mike Flynn case?”

                “Yea, it’s a travesty.”

                “I just don’t get why they would do this to a three star 30-year military man that worked for Obama.”

                “Well, he spoke out against Obama’s Iran deal and his Afghanistan strategy.  You also answered your own questions.  Flynn was the only one on president Trump’s team that had experience so he would know the FBI is not independent and works for the president.  The FBI would never have gotten away with the Russian probe if he was there.”

                “I’m not sure about that.  I mean President Trump did fire Comey and the investigation still went on.”

                “He had the authority to shut it down.”

                “They already accused him of obstruction for firing Comey.”

                “And it went nowhere.  If they’re going to do it anyway, might as well keep doing things within your power and save the country some time and money.”

                “Are you sure about Flynn being able to see through this shit?”

                “It was in the Inspector General report.  Footnote 350 says that when Comey was briefing Flynn about the golden shower story in the dossier, Flynn immediately questioned it and asked him if his source was legitimate and if he interviewed him.  Comey lied and said ‘yes’ but we now know that he hadn’t at that time.  It wasn’t really a question because both Flynn and his predecessor Susan Rice got a letter from England saying that Steele was unreliable and not to believe a word he said.”

                “That’s why Comey and the FBI targeted him.”

                “Yup, that’s why they set him up.”

                “I thought they did interview Steele’s source.”

                “A week after Flynn was briefed on it and after they applied for the FISA.  You’d think they would have checked the source before going to the FISA but no.  Anyway, the source said Steele lied and misquoted him or took something he said in bar talk or sarcastically seriously.”

                “I thought I had followed this closely but you seem to put me to shame.”

                “I’m obsessed with this shit.  I ever have dates.”

                “Here, let me get you another drink.”

                “That’s okay, I’ll get it.”

                Nouno got up and made himself another drink not wanting to drink anything that neither he nor Abby had either made or seen made.  When Nouno returned, “Now, according to the IG report.  On January 12, the FBI knows that the dossier is full of shit but rather than admit that they lied and made shit up, they claim they fell for Russian disinformation.”

                “But they kept renewing the FISA based on the information.”

                “That’s the scandal but it’s interesting you mention the FISA because guess what else happened on January 12?”

                “What?”

                “The FISA was renewed.”

                “You’re shitting me.  The same day they officially admit they were victims of Russian disinformation, they renew the FISA based on the information they just called, ‘Russian disinformation.’”

                “Yes, but that’s not the full story.  It is true that the Russian disinformation claim document was to cover their ass for illegally spying on President Trump and his campaign but you can’t just walk into a FISA court unannounced and ask for a warrant.  You need to give the court notice and get a court date.  You want to know how much notice you need to give?”

                “How much?”

                “A week.”

                “Okay”

                “A week before January 12 is January 5.  That is the day there was a meeting in the Oval Office with Obama, Comey, Susan Rice and Sally Yates where Rice sends an e-mail to herself saying ‘POTUS wants this done by the book.’”

                “Who e-mails that to themselves.”

                “Someone who is trying to cover up that they are doing something not by the book.”

                 “Yea, you don’t write a note to yourself to do the right thing.  Notes to yourself are usually specific about what you need to do.”

                “Yea, so you don’t forget.  Unless, she finds it so hard to do things by the book that she has to remind herself, which would be a worse problem.”

                “Hey, do you want to go somewhere more private?”

                “I’m married to a hot chick.”

                “Oh, you’re not gay?”

                “No.”

                “Tell me something, when you watch porn, do you want the guy to have a big dick or a small dick?”

                “I’m focused on the girl.  I actually don’t watch porn because the dick ruins the visual effect for me.  I also don’t get turned on by lesbianism like more guys do.”

                “Nobody is that straight.”

                “I actually consider myself asexual.  I’ve never enjoyed sex or blowjobs except with my wife.”

                “Then you were with some shitty women.  Most women don’t know how to handle a dick.  We have a lot of practice.”

                Suddenly, Drayton’s head landed on the table as his eyes glazed over. Nouno had taken a sedative out of his pocket and drilled him in the knee with it depressing the plunger.  Nouno wrapped his arm around his shoulder and helped him out as if he was drunk. They were the last three people there so nobody noticed. 

                When Drayton woke up, he struggled with his constraints and Nouno rolled his eyes and remarked, “Dude, you’re not getting out.”

                “What the fuck?  Where am I?”

                “On your deathbed.”

                Shockingly, this seemed to calm Drayton.  He countered “That may not be a bad thing.  The treasury just borrowed three trillion dollars in the 2^nd quarter.  Inflation is about to go through the roof like it did in the 80s.  It’s not worth living to see that.”

                “You’re 24, that means you were born in 1996!  You don’t remember the fucking 80s, you weren’t even born yet.  I actually was born in the 80s.  That double digit inflation was during Reagan, which was the greatest economic growth in American history.”

                “You’re not worried about inflation?”

                “Well, I am.  I mean the United States is only worth 22 Trillion dollars and we’re 24 Trillion in debt.  That’s not sustainable.  Now, GDP doesn’t factor in material goods because they feel like you double dip if you count the sale of microchips, glass, plastic and then also count the sale of the I-phone too.  They just go by the whole not the sum of the parts too.  Still, even though it’s underestimated, it’s a big problem and not one Reagan had.”

                “Seems like you’re making my point.”

                “Yea, you’re right.  I’ll grant your request and save you from experiencing that.” He declared as he drove a knife through his chest.

                Abby observed, “That may have been the quickest conversation you had with someone before killing him.”

                “We talked at the party.”

                “Yea, I think that’s why you killed him so fast.  You didn’t like being hit on.”

                “No, guys love being hit on because it doesn’t happen to us very often.”

                “I don’t know” she countered with skepticism in her voice.

                “That’s why I’m telling you.”

                They wrap the body and take it to a crematorium they had scoped out earlier.  As they break in, they activate the machine and put Drayton on it and then leave.  They pull over on a side street and talk as cremation takes a long time.  Nouno comments, “A majority of the intelligence community think that the Wuhan Virus accidentally leaked from the Wuhan laboratory.”

                “Oh yea, is this the same 17 intelligence communities that thought Trump colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 election?”

                “Oh no, most of those guys have been fired.”

                “Ah, I see yet you still believe that just because most of the intelligence agencies agree on something that it’s true.”

                “No, but I believe this one.”

                “Yet you attack everyone that believed Obama’s”

                “Well, those people, like the Washington Post, attacked Tom Cotton for saying it.  The Post claims it was already debunked and no responsible person should push it.  He believed the 16 out 17 intelligence agencies that thought Trump colluded with Russia so we know that if he believes it, the opposite is probably true.”

                “After SpyGate, I have no idea how you can have any faith in our intelligence community.”

                “Well, the Trump information never went through official channels.  It appears this did.”

                “It’s too early to know that.”

                “Oh trust me, the media has no problems with hypocrisy.  If they pulled the same shit Comey did, it would be all over the place.  If this was based on State department information feeding the FBI, MSDNC, Clinton News Network, the Washington Compost, and the Treason Times would all be reporting on it.”

                “Well the WHO says there was no evidence to claim that.”

                “Those are the same people that we just defunded, have been spouting Chinese propaganda the whole time and told us that the Wuhan Virus couldn’t be transmitted from human to human.”

                “I agree they aren’t credible but neither are our intelligence communities.”

                “The WHO hasn’t changed leadership since January.  The intelligence community has since 2016.”

                “You really trust new FBI director Wray?”

                Nouno went quiet and Abby gave him a knowing look.  He rejoined, “I’ll give you that one but they just nominated John Radcliffe as the new DNI and he was very credible and a bulldog during SpyGate.  I trust him.”

                “I think he’s good too since all the media could attack him on was who he followed on twitter.”

                “Funny, I thought that was really important to your age group.”

                “We are growing up and learning how foolish we were in our youths.”

                “I certainly hope so.  You cheated because you have the benefit of living with me.”

                “Oh, I’m so honored” she snapped back sarcastically. As Nouno beamed, she continued, “Did you have a problem with acting DNI Grenell?”

                “No, he’s been good so far.  He’s asking good questions and he declassified some juicy stuff in the IG report so I’m not too disappointed with him.  I’d still like to see people in handcuffs and arrested but he’s not bad.”

                “I actually don’t know who the liberals will think is worse: Grenell or Radcliffe.”

                “Yea, well, that’s how politics goes.  You always end up having to choose between a douche bag and a turd sandwich.”

                They talk for a little while longer and then return to the crematorium to dispose of the remains and the bones in the proper way.  The next morning, they are back at the airport and fly home.  On the plane, Abby utters, “Looks like more relevant Flynn documents just happened to be lost.”

                “They original 302 of his interview with the FBI you mean?”

                “Yea, you know about that?”

                “Yea, Page and Strzok took like a week to edit it.  I wonder why?”

                “Well, they said why in their texts to each other.”

                “Wait, I don’t know about that.”

                “Yea, Strzok wanted to preserve the voice of the agents but Page said that it was hardly understandable and incoherent”

                “That’s how it took so long because when they just put what they wanted, it didn’t make sense, so they had to make the lie believable.  The best lies have an element of truth to them but they probably couldn’t add anything truthful because it would blow up the case.  That is why they struggled.”

                “That seems a little far-fetched.  Bottom line is, though, they were caught texting each other that they were editing it and it didn’t resemble rational thoughts or discussion.”

                “Like even if I was trying to imagine what they would need to find that would completely exonerate Flynn, I couldn’t come up with anything that they haven’t already found.”

                “The original 302 for starters”

                “They know it was edited so that implies they set him up and lied in it.”

                “Implication isn’t as convincing as actually having the original to compare.”

                “I’ll give you that.”

                “Plus, Sidney Powell has subpoenaed and publicly complained that Flynn’s previous lawyer, Covington, won’t turn over the communications between Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch, and Sally Yates as it related to Mike Flynn.  She also is officially questioning why there were so many edits and drafts.”

                “You’re telling me that a partner at Covington and Burlington who was Bill Clinton’s attorney general, was talking with Obama’s Attorney General and Director of National Intelligence and they’re refusing to turn over their e-mails or what they’re talking about?  Remember, they represented Flynn!  If anyone should be helping Powell it’s them!”

                “Not when Powell is appealing on the grounds of ineffectiveness of council.”

                “Well, by not giving them everything they have on the Flynn case, they’re kind of proving the point.”

                “Once again, I’m just answering your question on what they don’t have that you could come up with that would make the case for exoneration more compelling.  I agree they have more than enough but I’m just coming up with more things.”

                “No, you’re telling me what Powell came up with.”

                “Yea, true but aren’t you glad she didn’t stop?”

                “Satisfaction is the end of desire.  I think Powell has done a superb job and much better than I could have ever dreamed a lawyer could do.  But yes, I do think she should keep going and step on the throat.”

                The news was on TV in the background and a breaking story popped up.  It caught Nouno and Abby’s attention.  It was about several crematoriums in various states, especially Minnesota, that owners have claimed had been tampered with.  The owners reported their suspicion because they have been closed down because of the Coronavirus but received an electric bill showing the machines had been used.  Nouno and Abby stared at each other in disbelief.  Nouno was the first to talk, “How is a crematorium and funerals not an essential business?”

                “We should have checked that.”

                “People are dying aren’t they?  What are they doing with the bodies?”

                “They are not allowed to have funerals.”

                “They can’t have gatherings but small ones where you get a body cremated or bury it should still be allowed.”

                “Evidently not or maybe not all of them.  Remember, we pick ones that are a little isolated.”

                Video camera photos came up and Nouno and Abby looked at a shadowy picture of them.  They wore caps and dark clothing and never looked up but it was still chilling to see it.  Nouno took a deep breath, “Abby, we’re done.”

                Abby put her head down, “Yea, I know.  We knew this couldn’t last forever.  It was fun while it lasted.  We did a lot of good but just like your tattoos, we got too addicted to it and started getting sloppy.  We should have shut it down for Covid.”

                “I did say it would be suspicious since nobody is travelling that much now and we travel all the time.  I was surprised the airports didn’t red flag us.”

                “Well the news seems to think that it’s a local epidemic that started in Minnesota and then there were copycats elsewhere.”

                “If they change that suspicion, they may figure it out.”

                “There’s nothing we can do about that now.”

                “Yes, we can.  We can shut it down.”

                “I already agreed to that.”

                “Alright good”

                “Let’s go upstairs. I think you and I need to let out some frustration now that this chapter in our life is over.”

                Nouno beamed and grabbed his wife picking her up and carrying her up the stairs.  They stripped each other and by the time they were done, they were exhausted.