Monday, January 13, 2020

Theo the Trump Employee Episode 44 Anyone but Trump


                Theo is at work at the Trump White House.  By all accounts, this is the week where Nancy Pelosi is officially going to hand over the articles of impeachment.  Her refusal to do so in the last month has been comical as even Democrat Senators turned against her in her standoff with Mitch McConnell.  One silver lining was the killing of Soleimani gave the country something else to talk about.  Although this was good news for Pelosi, it may not be good for the Democrats.  As lay people turn on CNN, what they see is a full on defense of Iran.  Although CNN has horrendous ratings, it is always playing in the café he goes to for breakfast.  Closed captioning is on because the sounds is muted and Theo glances up at it and sees Erin Burnett saying that she was in Tehran and attended a death to America protest.  Burnett’s take on it is that the Iranians were very nice to her even though she was an American.  Theo gives a perplexed look at the TV and hopes that he read the caption wrong.  Theo notices someone else paying attention and he turns to him, “Did I read that right?”

                “What?  You’re surprised that people that want death to America can be nice?”

                “You don’t think it’s odd that that was her takeaway?  She has no problem with people that have actually killed Americans.  They coordinate attacks on Americans all over the world.”

                “We shouldn’t be the world’s police.”

                “We are the only hope for freedom but that’s beside the point.  I do think constantly helping people in Middle Eastern countries is backfiring on us.  My point is that under no circumstances should you be on the side of the people that would love to destroy the country you live in”

                “Iranians are the most hospitable people in the world.”

                “Are you just saying that because you saw the movie The House of Sand and Fog?

                “No, I know Iranians”

                “So do I.  Are you friends with them?”

                “Yes”

                “Are you saying you’re non-Iranian friends aren’t hospitable to you?”

                “No, of course not.”

                “Have you ever gone to an Iranian’s house when you didn’t know them?”

                “No”

                “Then you don’t really know how hospitable they are.”

                “Did you have a bad experience?”

                “Not really.  The only Iranian I know that was ever in a position to be hospitable is when I was in LA with a friend.  She had mutual friends staying with her.  We all went to Disneyland together.  We had to take the bus there and on the way back, we asked her if she could give us a ride.  Remember, there were five of us, her, her two friends, me and my friend.  She told us that her car was too small and she couldn’t take us.  She finally acquiesced at the last moment and when we got to her car, it was a four-door sedan.”

                “Someone has to sit in the middle.”

                “The car is designed to hold five.  There were five of us.”

                “She still took you.”

                “I’m just saying that’s not the actions of the most hospitable culture in the world.”         

                “That’s just one story.”

                “One more than you.  Did it ever occur to you that maybe Burnett was being played?”

                “Played how?”

                “She’s an American journalist.  They know she’s going to be on American TV talking to Americans.  If they attack her, then it will help President Trump prove they are an imminent threat.  By being nice to her, they know that maybe she’ll undermine him by talking to the public and doing exactly what you are doing right now; defending people who want to kill us.  Did that ever occur to you?”

                “No, I don’t think that.  She’s just calling it like she sees it.”

                “Then why was there no coverage of all the protests against Soleimani and the Iranian government?  Those sparked after Soleimani’s death because we emboldened them to stand up to their Ayatollah.”

                “Dude, it’s too early for this.”

                Theo shakes his head and goes into work.  He says to a friend and co-worker, “You’ll never believe the conversation I just had.”

                “Considering you take a sick joy debating drunk college-aged liberals, I’m not too sure where the surprise comes in.”

                “That’s after work; not when I’m trying to have my breakfast.” 

                “Ah, so what happened?”

                Theo told him the story and the co-worker responded, “That’s not even the worst thing CNN did.  That’s small potatoes.”

                “It gets worse?”

                “Of course it gets worse.  It’s CNN we’re talking about.”

                “Enlighten me.”

                “They gave a 16 minute interview for Massoumeh Ebtekar to talk about the Iranian crisis.”

                “I don’t know who that is.”

                “She was the spokeswoman for the group that took hostages in Iran in 1979.”

                “Oh, the students that Reagan got released almost immediately after he took office?”

                “Same scandal.”

                “Well, I wasn’t born yet when that happened.  The person responsible for that was given a platform on CNN?”

                “Yes”

                “I’m sure liberals chalk it up to free speech and getting both sides of the story.  Funny, they’re never interested in having real conservatives on their shows.”

                “Yea, well when you talk about how you’d be willing to put a gun to a college kid’s head and pull the trigger if any rescue attempt is tried, you don’t have much credibility with me.”

                “Did the interviewer bring that up?”

                “Of course not.”

                “Geez, I know they hate the president but it really is getting ridiculous.”

                “Yea, mainstream media is still saying that Iran shot down the plane by accident.”

                “I guess they don’t have anyone that knows how surface to air missiles work.”

                “You mean all the safety features they have to avoid exactly this.”

                “Yea, those.”

                “I wonder if they’d be as understanding if the American military shot down a passenger plane by accident.”

                “That’s the problem with them.  They really think everyone is better than America.  You know if Erin Burnett thinks Iran is so great, let her renounce her citizenship and move there.  Let’s see how nice they are then.”

                “I’m sure Americans would chip in to pay the fee to renounce her citizenship and help her move.”

                “Oh, I would be one of them.”

                “Me too.”

                They both laughed and then turned back to their computers to work.  When his shift was over, Theo heads over to a bar near Vanderbilt University’s campus.  He orders a drink and sits down at the bar ready for a debate.  Although he should be numb to it by now, mainstream media actively siding with terrorists over President Trump still enrages him.  He hears a girl talking and she bursts out, “Republicans say that nothing is happening with the FISC and how the FBI misled them.  Now, there’s a whole investigation into it and they’re still not happy with it.”

                Theo gave her a dirty look and retorted, “Look who’s in charge of the investigation though.”

                “Who cares?  They’re doing the investigation.”

                “The guy worked for the DOJ.  He vehemently defended the Carter Page FISA.  He wanted to arrest Nunes for writing a memo saying that the FBI misled the FISC.  He’s already on record that he had no problem with the FISA and vehemently defended it.  Now, you’re telling me he’s the guy to find out what they did wrong?”

                “He’s got motivation because he was fooled too.  They made him look stupid so he has incentive to make them pay.”

                “No, he has incentive to back up what he said before.  It’s better to prove yourself right than explain how you were duped.”

                “I don’t see why it matters.”

                “Sessions recued himself for saying that he thought the Steele dossier was a hoax.  That’s why he wasn’t in charge of the Trump Russian collusion investigation.  How is this any different?”

                “Look, I don’t know.”

                “David Kris has been writing and shouting how the Republicans falsely accused the FBI and misled the FISC and agreed there was probable cause to believe Page was a foreign agent of Russia.  Remember, despite four FISA’s and the entire weight of the United States Department of Justice coming down on him, Carter Page was never indicted for a crime.  You really think that he has any credibility?  I don’t want a gullible guy that asserted something so confidently and has now been proved so wrong.”

                “People make mistakes.”

                “When they do, they need to suffer the consequences of them.  His consequences are that it doesn’t matter what he concludes, there is no reason to believe anything he has to say.  There’s no telling what facts he’s omitting or taken out of context.”

                “That’s just your opinion.”

                “Based upon a very logical thought process.”

                “Well, agree to disagree.”

                The girl turned back to her friend and indicated with her eyes she wanted to walk away.  To Theo’s surprise, the boy actually sat next to him.  He orders a drink and asserts, “Sounds like you believe in the deep state.”

                “How can I not?  They’re flaunting it right in my face.  I’m beginning to think that the FBI should just be dissolved.  Since their inception with J Edgar Hoover, they have been a corrupt organization.”

                “I understand that Comey and Strzok were bad but that’s just the top guys.  The rank and file guys are still solid people.”

                “Reallly?  How do you explain Joe Pientka?”

                “Not sure who that is.”

                “The IG report has him listed as SS1.  I used to think he was a good guy because he was also the guy who interviewed Flynn and concluded that he didn’t think Flynn was being deceptive.  Of course, Comey disagreed with his assessment and charged Flynn anyway and four years later, he’s still fighting the charge.  According to the IG report, State Department official Kathleen Kavalec told him that she found Steele’s information to be crap because she found a lot of inconsistencies.  This was 10 days before they got the FISA and Pientka didn’t mention anything about it.”

                “Like what?”

                “That the Russians were laundering the payments to the assets in America through the Russian consulate in Miami. Only problem is there is no Russian consulate in Miami.”

                “Yea, that could be a problem.”

                “But Pientka still swore that it was true.  He withheld from the FISC that Page denied he had Russian contacts.”

                “Well of course he’s going to say that?”

                “It’s still material.  You got to tell the FISC.”

                “What’s ‘FISC’?”

                “Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court; Those are the people that give you the FISA.”

                “Thanks”

                “No problem.  Anyway, Pientka, per the IG report, was in charge of confirming the Woods file was complete and accurate on every claim made in Steele’s dossier.  It’s not that one of two claims were proven wrong.  There was nothing that was corroborated or proven.  It was his job to determine this but he said that everything was fine.  The Woods procedure mandates for you to send the information to five intelligence communities to check it.  No standard intelligence community was used in defense of the Steele dossier.”

                “You can’t indict the whole organization for one bad apple.  They got rid of Comey.  I’m okay with firing this Pientka guy but it’s extreme to take down the organization.”

                “It is when even after you fire the corrupt, slimy FBI director, the DOJ still protects the bad apples.  That makes then complicit.”

                “Protecting them now or before?”

                “Both, but the DOJ refuses to give Grassely any access to Pietnka.  They transferred him to San Francisco right after people were realizing the Steele dossier was a hoax.  Now, Pientka mysteriously was taken off the website of personnel in the San Francisco office.  Where did he go?  Nobody knows.”

                “Why not just fire Wray (FBI Director) then?”

                “We tried that and it’s still corrupt.  Better to just shut down the whole thing.”

                “Maybe after the impeachment hearing.”

                “It’s all the same scandal with the same people.  Russian collusion, Mike Flynn, Ukrainian quid pro quo, impeachment, spying on Page, and spying on Papadopoulos is all the same scandal with the same players.”

                “You lost me now.  You made sense up until that but now you’re going extreme.”

                “Am I?  Adam Schiff hired Mary McCord to help with the impeachment probe.”

                “Don’t know her.”

                “She helped oversee the FBI’s probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election.  She also worked closely with Michael Atkinson, who’s the ICIG that changed the Whistleblower law so that the Ukraine whistleblower could file even though he had no firsthand information.  Atkinson also was John Carlin’s main lawyer and Carlin was Mueller’s chief of staff when he was head of the FBI.  Are you seeing the connections yet?”

                “You want people with experience.”

                “No, if you’re looking into anything that has to do with President Trump, you cannot have worked or heavily donated to Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.”

                “You can’t generalize like that.”

                “I just did.”

                Theo realized he was getting upset, which was rare during these debates.  The guy he was speaking to joined the girl he was originally talking to at the other end of the bar.  Theo went to the subway and got on.  He sits on the train and closes his eyes.  A blond with a braided pony tail is sitting next to him with a lot of makeup on but it was working as she looked good.  Theo perked up and introduced himself.  The girl didn’t give her name but smiled, “I don’t do small talk.”

                “Me neither.”

                “I don’t need your toxic masculinity right now.”

                “Are you upset because it looks like Bernie or Biden will win the nomination because you won’t have a woman to vote for in this year’s election?”

                She gave him a shocked offended expression and Theo just shrugged his shoulders, “Oh, I don’t have to worry about that.  Trump just got impeached and Pence is next, then Pelosi will be president.”

                “You do know that impeachment doesn’t mean you’re removed?  You still need a trial in the Senate and odds Trump gets removed is pretty low.”

                “Pelosi is handing over the articles this week.”

                “In which case, the Republican dominated Senate votes to remove him.  No Republican congressman voted for impeachment so it’s unlikely that Republican senators would.  Not to mention, you need 66 not 51 so a lot of Republicans would have to turn.  Two Democrat congressmen voted against impeachment so the Senate Democrats would have to be united when the house wasn’t and you still have to flip a bunch of Republicans.”

                “Pelosi can handle it.  I don’t need you to man-xplain it.”

                “You did need it to be explained because your implications were all wrong.”

                “I trust Pelosi.”

                “She’s a broken woman.  The impeachment made her look so bad.  Even Diane Feinstein, who may hate Trump more than any other Senator, attacked Pelosi for the stunt she pulled.  Now, she’s trying to just transition to her next scandal after the Senate votes not to remove him.”

                “What scandal would that be?”

                “That President Trump colluded with Turkey and that’s why he withdrew troops from Syria.”

                “No, we don’t want a presence in the Middle East.  The whole point of the Iran thing is we want our troops out of Iraq.”

                “Watch how quickly they flip flop on that with Turkey and Syria.”

                “I’ve never ever heard a hint of this.”

                “You’re not paying attention to your hero Pelosi.”

                “Don’t patronize me.”

                “Stop making it so easy.”

                “Pelosi won the withholding the articles stand off.”

                “How?  McConnell didn’t give in to any of her demands and she’s still handing them over.  He humiliated her.  You know what, I’m not going to be surprised if she accuses McConnell of colluding with Russia too since that’s the go to move for Republicans that beat Democrats in elections or political contests.”

                “Don’t talk to me!”

                Theo smiled because he was enjoying trolling her.  To make matters worse, a girl across from them pressed a button on her phone and Pelosi’s voice came on with her insinuating that because of McConnell’s actions, she suspicious of him and believes he has foreign collusion too.  Despite the makeup, the girl couldn’t hide her face from turning bright red.  Theo smirked at her but didn’t speak.  He pulled out his phone and started reading.  The blond got off a couple stops later and Theo got off when he got to his stop.  He got ready for bed and fell asleep quickly when he hit the pillow.  Tomorrow would be another day in the fight against the deep state.  Now that it was 2020, it was going to get ugly and escalate quickly. 

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