Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 46 Business Must Go On

                There is a collective sadness in England as Prime Minister Boris Johnson is going on a ventilator to treat his Wuhan Virus.  Even though Johnson is not the first government official to get it as members of the royal family have, given that he conducts the policy of the country and the royal family is a mere figurehead, there is uneasiness in England.  Kera and her cousin Fanis are Americans living in London and can feel the tension.  Kera is an international Chinese art dealer and business had been slow amidst this pandemic.  Despite that, the Chinese government was still doing a good job of convincing the world that they should not be shunned.  Therefore, people still wanted to deal in Chinese artifacts but travelling became increasingly burdensome.  Kera had a private plane but airports on the ground had strict protocols when she arrived to make sure she wasn’t contaminated.  As Fanis was her bodyguard, he tagged along and was exposed to the same treatment.   As it turned out, Kera was more concerned about the pandemic than Fanis but Kera was accustomed to working seven days a week and she wasn’t going to put that on hold for anything. 

                Kera calls out, “Hey Fanis?”

                “Yea”

                “You know that drug that Trump keeps pushing for Covid?”

                “Hydroxychloroquine or plaqunill, yea, what about it?”

                “Well, it appears that he has stock in it.”

                “I guess you didn’t read the article; you just read the headline.”

                “Is it fake news?”

                “Yea, kind of.  The stock he owns is part of a mutual fund and amounts to approximately $99.”

                “That’s it?!”

                “Yea, and the company that produces it doesn’t even produce it for the United States so if it becomes popular in the US, it still wouldn’t really help that particular stock.”

                “Even if it did, he’s a billionaire so even like a 500% profit wouldn’t really help him.”

                “Yea, that’s not even $500; you might as well say 50,000%.”

                “Yea, even that’s only $49,500”

                “I don’t understand you people.  You have no problem with Hunter Biden receiving $1.5 Billion from a Chinese company but President Trump can’t own a stock worth $99 in something he’s promoting because it may cure a pandemic.”

                “China does a lot of business with the United States.  Lobbyists are paid to influence the government so why can’t China do that same thing?”

                “They can but Hunter Biden has to fill out a FARA form but he didn’t”

                “That’s on Hunter Biden”

                “I would agree.  What are we even arguing here?  I’m not blaming China for giving Hunter Biden the money.  I’m just saying that there is a hypocrisy that people have a problem with President Trump making $99 off a stock and nobody bats an eye for Hunter Biden making $1.5 Billion.”

                “Well, pack your things.  We need to go.”

                “Oh good, I get to be scrubbed by strangers again.  Where are we going?”

                “India.”

                “Alright”

                “Look, I know what you’re thinking.  India is not a very healthy country to begin with.  Every time you’ve gone, you’ve gotten sick but as it related to Covid, it’s not that bad.  There are only 178 people that died.”

                “I said nothing.”

                “I know what you’re thinking”

                “No, you don’t because I wasn’t thinking that.”

                “Look at all the doctors here and the United States that came from India.  It’s safe”

                “Well, you’re 178 number may seem low but they have 5,916 cases.  That’s a death per case of 3%.  That is better than the 11.69% we have here in England but America’s average is 3,23% so closer to that.”

                “There, so I’m not putting us in danger. It’s more dangerous staying here.”

                “Something tells me you’re scared”

                “Of course I am!  It’s the second most populated country in the world.”

                “I know that but the most populated country, where it originated, has opened everything up so we could be good.”

                Kera glared at him as she knew he meant China, which Kera was very protective over.  “Let’s just go.”

                They go to their air strip and get put through a decontamination protocol before getting on the plane.  On the plane, Kera asks Fanis, “What do you think this is going to do to us.”

                “I think people are being stupid.  There’s a lot of pressure on cops to arrest people for stupid things.  In California, people are being arrested for paddleboarding with nobody around because they’re outside.  People are being encouraged to rat out their neighbors.  We are fracturing the bonds we have in our society.  I used to not care when I walked by a cop but now I’m worried about being arrested just for being outside.  There’s no good that can come from that.”

                “Conservative till the end huh?”

                “Of course.”

                “Well, the people I talk to back in the states love the extra money they’re getting from the stimulus package.”

                “That’s the point.  That is why it’s not going to stimulate anything.  Big government is always bad, even in a pandemic.”

                “People are beginning to realize why they need big government.”

                “That’s usually what happens right before a totalitarian communist government takes over and destroys a country and their people.”

                “Ayanna Pressley made an appearance.  The next bill she wants to forgive student loans and give money to illegal immigrants and inmates.”

                “That’s what happens when you give an inch to the libelous, scandalous, treacherous Democrats like they did in Phase 3”

                “People are hurting; you don’t think we have an obligation to help them?”

                “We live in a world of ills and harms.  There are trade-offs in everything we do.  It’s not about helping people, it’s about being realistic.  It’s not realistic for the United States to save everyone in the planet that decided to illegally come to our country.  If you really want to help people, you’d open the economy and let people work.  For those that are scared, they can stay home but there needs to be incentives to work, which means we shouldn’t bribe people to stay home.”

                “It’s not bribing people.  They can’t work because our government shut them down.  They need to compensate them for that.”

                “Or eliminate the problem they caused to begin with.  There is no money fairy.  Employers care more about their employees than the government does.  Let them decide if they’ll let people work from home.”

                “America first right?”

                “You can’t help people if you don’t help yourself.”

                “Let’s get back to bribing people not to work.  Is that really how you see it?”

                “That’s what Phase 3 was.  Part of it was an incentive to make your full paycheck to stay at home.”

                “You followed this closer than I did.”

                “You get a thousand dollars a week to not work.  If you make less than that, why would you go back to work?  You get paid more to stay home.”

                “I just think leaving people out to dry is wrong.”

                “That’s because you don’t understand our options.  You think our options are to screw people and let them die or give them money that has absolutely no consequences.  The reality is that our choices are to bankrupt the entire country now so we have no hope of recovery or spend a lot of money but still have restrictions so there is still an incentive to go back to work when the economy does open up.  Neither is very good as we don’t have the money to be spending even for option two but it sure as hell is better than option one.”

                “This sounds like a welfare argument.”

                “It’s the same concept.  The government is competing with employers for employees.  All the government did was raise the salary making it harder for employers to compete.”

                “These are unprecedented times.  Look, people like getting a thousand dollars in the mail for nothing.”

                “It’s not for nothing.  We will be fitting the bill either through inflation or taxation.  Are your friends going to have that feeling when the price of everything they need shoots up?  What about when their taxes increase.  Do you think maybe then they’ll be like, ‘you know, I didn’t really need the deck I used my stimulus money for?’”

                “Inmates aren’t illegal immigrants.  Are we just going to let them get hosed?”

                “We need to fix the incentive to not work problem before we can help inmates.”

                “I think what you fail to understand is that these relief payments are temporary.”

                “Phase three expanded them to Mid-June.  That’s way too long to be paying out this money.  It should end April 30; which is when they should open the economy; if not before.”

                They land in Bangalore, a city in Southern India.  They get into an auto, which is a three wheeled vehicle used as a taxi, and head toward their hotel.  The auto driver inquires, “Americans?”

                “Yup” Fanis says proudly.

                Although Fanis is accustomed to Indian driving, Kera is still getting used to it. The best way to describe it is ‘chaos.’  Whereas many places, like Europe, will have no trepidation to pull into oncoming traffic to pass a slow car, in India, it’s impossible to tell what side of the street you’re supposed to be on as you spend an equal amount on the left and right side.  There are no traffic lights in Bangalore as people simply beep to alert cars that they are coming into the intersection, then beep to let people know they are currently in the intersection and then beep once again to notify them that they’re safely through the intersection.  As the sound is the same for each of the three possibilities, what you get is just a continuous and constant beeping of all motorists.  When you do come to an intersection, there is massive slamming of the brakes as each driver navigates their vehicle amongst all the other ones. 

Most people insult the driving of the Indians for this but Fanis had a different approach; he was shocked there aren’t more accidents.  Every time he got in an auto and saw how much room there was between the auto and the other vehicles, he marveled at how they knew the exact dimensions of their vehicle.  He quickly learned that when in an auto, keep your hands and legs inside at all times for if you don’t, it will be slammed into another car. 

As if to scare Kera more, the auto driver lifts one hand in the air and makes a fist, “Go Trump.”

Fanis laughs and Kera gives him a dirty look.  He responds, “Yes, your President Modi is very good friends with President Trump.  Modi had you guys help us out by making masks for us.”

“Yes, and he is rewarding us because he said in his press conference that we built the economy back once and we’ll do it again.”

“He should be saying that every day.  It really should be his only message.”

“That would be good for India.  You need to understand when the American market goes down one point; it affects India market by 10 points.”

“I would agree the whole world benefits if we help ourselves.  After all, America consumes 51% of the world goods.”

                “Good luck”

                “Thank you.  It looks like we’ll need it since the Democrats keep trying to destroy our economy, which will destroy the world.”

                The pleasantries ended when they got to their destination.  The auto driver had raised the price they agreed upon before.  You don’t tip auto drivers in India and even though it was a nominal amount, word spread fast so you needed to fight for every penny and Kera and Fanis did and paid him what they agreed on. 

                In normal circumstances, it was hard for Fanis to find something to eat in India as he didn’t do well with spicy food and pretty much everything is spicy in India.  Now, with the pandemic, access to food was diminished so restaurants didn’t have most things on the menu.  As uncultured as it was, he opted to go to Hard Rock Café where he could get mild chicken wings that were about half the size of normal chicken wings.  Kera, who also doesn’t do well with spicy food, got spaghetti and posed, “Okay, so you’re against the shutting down of the economy.  You’re all about choice in letting people choose to take the risk to work rather than force everyone to be in this together.  I see your point but you are pressured to open shop even if you’re scared if your competitor does.”

                “Well, if you’re correct about the pandemic being as bad as it is, then your competitor will die and you can get his market share.”

                “You really are heartless.  Let me just finish my thought.”

                “Okay”

                “I know you don’t want to shut down the economy but let’s say people did.  Businesses are crushed because they had trouble finding employees and now you’re tasked to rescue them.  How do you do it?”

                “Did we already pass Phase 3?”

                “Let’s say yes.”

                “Well, we need to cut spending then.  First, we need to cut taxes across the board.  Make it a uniform tax rate of 18% on capital gains, income and corporate so there’s no more juggling to avoid paying it.  Second, if you’re under 55, you no longer have to pay for social security because you’re not going to be getting any.  This will save us like 100 Trillion dollars in the future.  Last, dump ObamaCare and get government out of healthcare.  People can deduct tax-free amounts into their own accounts and take care of their health needs.  I can see letting people go to the emergency room and getting them off the streets but even that I think can be covered by making pro-bono care a tax write off for hospitals and doctors.  Then, we can really get our debt under control.”

                “That’s a good way to lose an election.”

                “If you win though, you attack the two biggest expenditures for government; medical care and social security.”

                “I noticed that you didn’t touch the third highest; military.”

                “That’s fine right where it is.”

                “Of course it is.”

                “Health and Human Services alone is a third of all our spending.  Why wouldn’t you hit that?”

                “Thank God you’re not in charge.  If the media thinks it’s bad that Trump mocks them when they ask about oil even though they don’t know where it’s at now then they haven’t seen anything when you come along.”

                “Seriously though, if you don’t know where oil is at, how can you attack President Trump for it?’

                “He could have answered.”

                “No, it’s not his job to do their work for them.”

                They finish dinner and head back to their hotel to sleep.  The next day, they head to the meeting.  Fanis is inside with Kera and the client’s security is there as well.  Fanis has been accustomed to having a conversation in hushed tones so as not to disturb the meeting.  He has found that other security guards contain the same skill.  The guard comes over and queried, “What happened with the voting in Wisconsin?”

                Fanis’s head bobbed back in surprise.  He knew that the world was heavily involved in American politics but he found it incredible that someone in India would be asking about a state’s election.  To buy him time to get over his initial surprise, he responded, “I didn’t know India was so interested in Wisconsin.”

                “I don’t know where it would be on the map but I heard they were forcing people to go to the polls even with the Wuhan Virus.”

                “That’s a lie.  The Supreme Court said that the mail in ballots had to be postmarked by April 7 in order to be counted.”

                “What was going on with in-person voting then?”

                “That had nothing to do with either the Wisconsin Supreme Court or the US Supreme Court.”

                “There’s more than one?”

                “Yes, each state has one.”

                “Is it true that Republicans are the ones that messed up?”

                “No, Wisconsin is a Democrat state.”

                “But I heard….”

                “It was a lie.  Democrats were the ones that filed the lawsuit because they wanted to force a delay in the election.  There’s a law that you can’t change election rules the day before the election.”

                “That makes sense but why did they wait till the day before the election?”

                “Excellent question.  I don’t have an answer.”

                “Why did the Supreme Court get involved?”

                “One level below the Supreme Court is the Federal Court.  A federal judge that Obama appointed made a ruling that you could vote by mail up until April 13 when the election was April 7.”

                “Then you can just wait till the result of the election to see how or if you’re going to vote.”

                “In order to stop that, the judge ordered that Wisconsin election officials weren’t allowed to release the election results until after April 13.”

                “Don’t people rely on the results that night though?”

                “Hence, the Republican National Convention asked the Supreme Court to get involved.  Someone had to stop this dumbass from the retarded ruling he made.”

                “What did the US Supreme Court say?”

                “That the judge had no authority to silence the Wisconsin Election Committee.  They scolded him for involving people in the case that had nothing to do with the suit.”

“Whose decision is it to postpone the election?”

“The governor; whose name is Evers”

“What did he say?”

“Up until the day before the election, he declared them an essential business so they had to stay open.”

“Was he a Republican?”

“No, he’s a Democrat.”

“Let me get this straight; you have a Democrat lawsuit responding to a ruling made by a Democrat Governor that was decided upon by a Democrat judge.”

“That’s correct”

“Then why did the media say it was the Republicans?”

“Because they’re liars.”

“Oh wait, the Republicans asked the main Supreme Court to get involved.”

“And the US Supreme Court has a majority of Republican appointed judges but the problem was started by Democrats.”

“That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“Yea, Democrat governors are dropping the ball.  The Michigan one and Nevada ones are pretty bad too.”

“Why?”

“President Trump found an effective treatment for the Wuhan Virus called Hydroxychloroquine; so they banned it so that Trump couldn’t get a win.”

“That can’t be the reason they said.”

“Well, I don’t know what the reason the Michigan governor gave but the Nevada one, Sisolak, he was worried that private citizens would hoard it and keep it hidden in their house.   The funny part was, it turned out the Sisolak was hoarding it after he banned it.  He was guilty of what he was accusing his constituents of.”

“That sounds more like something you’d see in India.”

“I admit I don’t know anything about Indian politics but if you mean it’s corrupt and people will sacrifice their people to hurt their enemies, then yes, it’s like that.”

Kera finished up her meeting and Fanis says good bye to the security guard realizing that they never actually introduced themselves.  As they leave, Kera and Fanis go around looking for something to eat and end up at a McDonalds.  The interesting part of the McDonalds in India is that they don’t serve beef and have some interesting things on the menu like seaweed burgers. 

As they leave, they are approached by a man who points at them “Let me ask you American something.  Your Dr. Birx thinks that if anyone dies with the Wuhan Virus that it counts.  Don’t you think that inflates the numbers?”

                Kera gives him a strange look so Fanis answers, “Yes, it’s becoming more and more apparent that the Wuhan Virus has trouble killing healthy people.  My best friend died of cancer and that is what I tell people but technically he died of a cold.  The cancer destroyed his immune system, which allowed the cold to finish him off.  It would be ridiculous if I told people he died of a cold.”

                “That’s what I mean.  All of a sudden nobody is dying in America from diabetes, stroke, cancer or heart disease.”

                “Yea, all those numbers are way down.”

                “America is the only country doing this too.  Other countries are reporting it responsibly.”

                “That’s probably why everyone says that America has it the worst.”

                “Let me ask you something else and let the woman answer.  Given everything that’s been happening around the world, what gives you the right to sell Chinese stuff here?”

                Kera snaps back, “Not everything that is linked to China is contaminated you dumb fuck!”

                Now it was Fanis’ turn to give her a dirty look.  The Indian guy shoved her and barked, “Get out of our country.”

                Kera fell back on the ground and giggled as she looked at her cousin and bodyguard.  Fanis took a deep breath and turned to the man, “That was a mistake.”

                The man took a swing at Fanis who ducked under it.  He unleashed two punches to the Indian’s kidneys and shoved him forward.  The Indian turned back and charged at Fanis, who ducked and, as he approached, lifted his upper body up catapulting the man over his head and flipping him on his back.  The man stayed down and Kera grabbed his arm and joyfully skipped off while Fanis quickened his walk to keep pace with her. 

Kera suddenly let go as the Indian had gotten up and raced after them.  He jumped and tackled Fanis from behind.  The Indian punched at the side of Fanis’ face.  Fanis pushed himself up on all fours and grabbed the man’s right arm and dropped his shoulder flipping the man off him and onto the ground.  Both men got up and faced each other.  They circled around each other and Fanis waited until the Indian made the first move.  When he came forward, Fanis reached out and grabbed him by the throat with his right hand.  He had one thumb in one carotoid artery and the other four fingers on the other squeezing.  The Indian tried to pull Fanis’ hand off him but he jerked him around.  As the energy was draining from him, Fanis dragged the Indian to a tree and smashed his head against it.  Kera followed and exclaimed, “I want a turn”

                Fanis let go of the man’s throat and grabbed his arm and twisted him around.  Fanis wrapped his arms over the man’s biceps and interlocked his hands behind his back exposing his front to Kera.  Kera smiled and slapped him across the face as hard as she could and Fanis tossed him to the side.  Kera looked up and pointed near the tree, “Look a monkey.”

                Fanis saw it too and nodded.  It was quite common to see monkeys in India but both had forgotten that.  They got dinner at a local place and then went back to the hotel to sleep.  The next day, they headed to the air strip and headed back to London.  On the plane, Fanis had intense stomach pains and kicked himself for eating at the local place.  Kera was fine and felt bad for Fanis.  She asked, “Are you okay?”

                “No, but let’s talk about something to distract me.”

                “Well, it looks like Christopher Steele may be in trouble after all.”

                “No, Hillary Clinton will protect him.  She still owns the DOJ.”

                “This isn’t the DOJ; three of the Russians he named in the Golden Shower story in the dossier are suing him.  Part of the lawsuit is he has to publicly admit that his dossier is a lie and a hoax.”

                “That is huge but you know how these intelligence guys are; they’ll just cite sources and methods and there won’t be a case.”

                “Actually, he tried that and the judge, a Justice Warby, said that he may force him to answer the question and he can’t hide behind them.  I mean, he’s Ex-MI6 and this is from three years ago so it probably isn’t as sensitive as he pretends it is.”

                “That would be amazing if the Russians end up taking down Steele.”

                “It will give fuel to the liberals that Russia and America are colluding.”

                “Yea, but they can’t say anything because they did that for almost three years.  The people don’t care anymore.”

                “Let’s just get through the Covid crisis and then we’ll see what happens.”

                “I agree.  I really hope the economy opens sooner rather than later.”

                “I’m beginning to come around to your side but England is still bad.”

                “That’s only because of socialized medicine.  There were long wait times even before the crisis.”

                “No, I know but nobody really needs this right now.”

                “Nobody ever needs a pandemic but it’s here and we need to respond appropriately.  This overreaction needs to stop.”

                “I hope you’re right about the pandemic but wrong about the economic backlash afterwards.”

                “Me too.”

                They land in London and Kera hires a cleaning crew to thoroughly clean the plane while Fanis and Kera go through a decontamination protocol.  Fanis wasn’t sure how long this was going to be their normal but it was one of the few things he didn’t like enduring working for Kera.  Within a day, Fanis was over his stomach pains and back to normal. 

Nouno the Vigilante episode 48 Phase 4 is Socialism

                Abdihakim Mohammed Isse is a 40-year-old bus driver in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  At 6’0” 200lbs, he’s a little larger than average size but not enough to be intimidating.  Abdihakim looks like he may not have had the most charmed life as there is a small scar in between his eyes and a larger one on his right arm.  His cheeks are also scarred but it’s from acne rather than something nefarious. 

                One day, a 13-year-old mentally disabled girl forgot to get off at her stop.  Abdihakim didn’t notice she hadn’t gotten off until he dropped off his last student.  As he looked back, he realized nobody was watching and figured that since she was developmentally disabled, nobody would believe her if she were to accuse him of something.  With this confidence, he molested and sexually assaulted her in order to make her more amenable and look to him as an authority figure.  After he was finished, he invited her to see a movie.  Although nobody in Minnesota would prosecute him for this, there was someone far away in Arizona that was very intrigued.

 

                In Arizona, Nouno and his wife Abby are watching a movie.  They are beginning to get stir crazy constantly working at home. Both are avid sports fans and with no sports due to the Wuhan Virus, they’re not sure what to do with themselves.  Abby is especially taking it hard as she is a huge baseball fan and opening day is her favorite time of the year but she will not be able to experience it this year for the first time in her life.  She catches he husband yelling, “Jesus Christ! First they say President Trump overreacted to the virus with the travel ban on China and now they’re saying that they knew all along and Trump did nothing.  Make up your fucking minds!”

                 “Shut up!  Why do you care?  Everyone always wants credit after the fact.  There’s even a name for it, it’s called ‘Monday morning quarterback’”

                “Why do I care?  History is always written by the victors and we can’t let the liberals pretend that the most conservative president in your lifetime (Abby was born in 1993 but Nouno was born in 1984 and Reagan could give Trump a run for most conservative president ever) was responsible for dropping the ball on a pandemic.  If we don’t counteract the revisionist history then future generations won’t know who was really responsible for this. Just how our generation doesn’t know that Hitler was a socialist, only Democrats owned slaves before the Civil War, Martin Luther King was a Republican, Democrats were against the Civil Right Movement and made up the KKK.”

                “Well, you get one good thing out of this?”

                “What’s that?”

                “They’re pushing in the next infrastructure bill to add the digital dollar.  They tried to put it in the last stimulus deal but the Republicans blocked it.”

                “Why the fuck would I want that?!”

                “You never carry cash; you always pay with credit card.”

                “Yes, because that’s my choice but if everyone were forced to do that, it would suck.”

                “How the fuck do you figure that?”

                “This is a ploy because they want us to have negative interest rates like they do in Europe.”

                “No, this is just realizing that since paper money is exchanged between people, it can spread viruses so it’s really bad during a pandemic.”

                “Never let a good crisis go to waste.  Tell me something.  If you’re on the run from the government, what’s the first thing they do?”

                Abby’s eyes widened as she figured where he was going with this.  She responded sarcastically, “Put up road blocks.”

                “I can tell by your face you know where I’m going.”

                “They track your credit cards.”

                “Right.  So now with the digital dollar, they can track all of your spending.”

                “They do that now?”

                “What if I wanted to buy a gun?”

                “Well then….oh wait, they get an automatic gun registry.”

                “There you go.  See, I only pay with credit cards, because my money earns interest in the bank so I want to keep it there as much as possible.  Since I pay my credit cards in full every month, I don’t have to spend any money on interest so the cash back plus the interest earned is all profit for me.”

                “You think the government would just take that away because they’re evil people?”

                “No, it’s because our debt is 22 Trillion dollars.  That debt incurs interest.  If the interest rate is negative, our debt is constantly decreasing.”

                “Well then that’s good.”

                “No, it’s not because I’m losing money too!”

                “So take your money out of the bank.”

                “I can’t because we are on the digital dollar and there is no paper currency anymore.  I no longer have that option.”

                “What about those USB drives that people hid Bitcoin on?”

                “I guess that would be the new safe but I’m not sure how it works.  I’d rather not learn.  Anything electronic can be hacked.”

                “Fine, no digital dollar.  I do think making elections available from anywhere rather than going to a polling area is a good idea.  The lines for presidential elections are long enough without social distancing.”

                “Is that in Phase four too?”

                “Yes.”

                “Yea, shitty idea.”

                Abby rolled her eyes, “Oh come on.  Don’t you want it to be easier to vote?”

                “That’s ballot harvesting.  There is voter fraud now when we only have to monitor polling stations.  Now, you want people to be trusted to collect the ballots and then walk it over?  You know how much easier you’re going to make it to rig an election?”

                “Aren’t you the one that said you can’t rig an election because there are 50 state elections?”

                “I said an outside power would make it hard.  You make it easier when you put a bunch of people in charge to carry the ballots there.  Who’s doing the collecting?”

                “Community organizers”

                “Right, who are almost all Democrats”

                “You’re just paranoid”

                “California already does this and it’s a disaster.  This is why Republicans always pray for rain on Election Day.  Voter turnout goes down when it rains.  That means your vote means more on rainy days.  Republicans are going to come out regardless; it’s you Democrats that are lazy and won’t just because it’s raining.”

                “Oh fuck you.  Democrats care just as much about voting as Republicans.”

                “Then why is it only Democrats that push to vote online and ballot harvesting and do it from anywhere?”

                “Sometimes people can’t vote.”

                “That’s why we have absentee ballots.  The thing is you have to apply for it.”

                “It’s not just Democrats that want convenience.”

                “Who’s pushing for ballot harvesting?”

                “Hillary Clinton.”

                “Democrat”

                “Marc Elias.”

                “Trump hating, Russian collusion hoaxer liberal.”

                “George Soros is pushing for nationwide drop boxes through one of his firms.”

                “Are you trying to prove me right?”

                “I’m sure some Republicans are in favor.”

                “Yea, we call them RINOs.  Bottom line is; Coronavirus helps Republicans on Election Day if polls are open because we’re the only ones that will show up.  You people can stay your ass at home.  Maybe then we can take back the house and then not have to deal with four more years of endless investigations.”

                “Democrats love this country too.”

                “No, they don’t.  They want to give stimulus checks to illegal immigrants.”

                “What are you talking about!  It was based on fucking tax returns.”

                “A New York congressman Adriano Espaillot called for it.”

                “I don’t want to fucking talk about this!  I just tried to give you some good news.  I don’t understand how you’re against policy that you yourself do.”

                “I try to explain this to you.  I do it because given my options now, it’s preferable.  If I had no choice, then the conditions could make it not preferable.  I have no problem going to polls to vote because I take it that seriously that I will get my ass out there.  I relish in people not feeling that way.  How can you say I do that myself?  I’ve never voted absentee; I’ve always gone to the polls.”

                “I meant the digital dollar.”

                “I think I explained that too.  If we had negative interest rates, I wouldn’t keep all my money in the bank anymore.”

                “Fine, we have a case.”

                “Good, we need to let off steam.”

                “Seriously, but this is mine.”

                “You seem to be finding a lot of them.”

                “Guess where we’re going?”

                “Minnesota.”

                “Yup”

                “At this point, maybe we should just move there.”

                “We can’t do that because you don’t want to live in the city you commit the crime in.”

                “I was being sarcastic.”

                “I know but you always nitpick everything I say so turnabout is fair play.”

                “Fair enough.”

                Abby books a commercial flight to Minnesota and Nouno has mixed feeling about it.  On one hand, it’s nice to feel like they’re flying in a private plane since nobody takes planes anymore.  On the other, someone may look into these murders happening as they fly in and fly out the day before and the day after. On the plane Abby smiles and turns to her husband, “Babe, I got something for you.”

                “What?”

                “You know how you always say that people need to start mass producing Hyroxychlorquinne because Trump said so.”

                “No, I said that because in French studies and other scientific studies, it has been proven very effective.  President Trump was basing his opinion on the same results I was.  There is a difference.”

                “Fine, but Micha Brezinsky of MSNBC just figured something out about it.”

                “If this is about the fish cleaner guy, spare me.  That dude was a moron and I know you’re smarter than that.  If you bought it at a pet store, it’s probably bad.  If you got it from a doctor or pharmacy because it was prescribed, then it’s good.”

                “I get that.  Stop talking down to me.”

                “You are advocating withholding life saving treatment from people with a fatal disease.  It’s hard not to be condescending.”

                “She figured that Trump was only saying it because he has a financial interest in it and it turns out he does.”

                “What is it?  He owns stock in the company that makes it?”

                “Yes”

                “How much?”

                “Well, it’s part of his family trust.  It has a bunch of mutual funds and the producers of plaqunill, the generic form of hyroxycchloriquinne is on it.”

                “Part of a mutual fund?”

                “Yes”

                “You do realize that they tell politicians to buy mutual funds because they’re diversified so nobody can accuse them of insider trading or things exactly like what you’re accusing him of?”

                “He benefits if the company does well.”

                “Marginally.  It’s part of a bundle.  You act like he’s one of the largest stock holders. The guy is a billionaire; the amount he’ll make with the company exploding is marginal.”

                “I suppose.”

                “Why do you not think whenever someone in the media says something?”

                “I do.”

                “Present conversations would suggest otherwise.”

                “No, the mayor of LA was talking about how snitches no longer get stitches but they get rewarded.  He’s offering to pay people to rat on their neighbors who go outside.  I know that’s exactly what they did in East Berlin and Russia.  See, I can notice when Democrats are acting like communists.”

                “There’s hope for you yet.  The sad thing is people are open to socialism now.  I bet some thought it was a good idea for the ‘safety of the public.’  They are destroying the bonds of society.  I took a tour in Berlin; the tour guide’s father had three spies on him.  One of them was one of his best friends.  It’s scary to think of that.”

                “Yea, even I’m against that.”

                The plane lands in Minnesota and they check into a different hotel they went to last time.  They also scope out other crematoriums as using the same place twice is dangerous.  Abby announces, “So, since we keep coming here; I booked our return flight for next week.”

                “You do realize that cops know the first 48 is key to finding the perpetrator of a homicide?  That’s why we leave immediately because we know all their efforts go into the first couple days.”

                “Which is why we are going to wait six days before we kill him and leave the following day.”

                “Oh, right, yea, that makes sense.”

                “See, I’m not as dumb as you think” she replied with a charming smile.

                “I never called you dumb.”

                “I know but I feel that way sometime.”

                “That would be your fault because I just debate with you.  I’m never talking down or being condescending; you just accuse me of that.”

                “Relax, I know.”

                Abby and Nouno stay in their hotel as there is shelter in place laws in Minnesota too.  They continue to work from home and lay low.  On the side, Abby is tracking Abdihakim to see by his social media posts and other public information databases, she can pinpoint his address.  After six days, she knows everything about him.  The most important thing is that he lives alone.  As he knows people are suspicious of him, he’s living in a Somali neighborhood as they won’t pay much attention to him.  On the way there, Nouno asks, “With this new society of snitching, this may not be as easy as we think.”

                “Nobody will recognize us and the Hmong don’t call the cops.  They protect rapists and stay in the shadows.”

                “That is true”

                “So, they’re not going to snitch on us if they see us.”

                “You know what?  I think you’re right.”

                “Now who’s not thinking before speaking?”

                “That’s how I learn.  I bounce ideas off of people through discussions.”

                “Okay Socrates.”

                “That’s exactly where I got it from; yes.”

                Nouno picks the lock to Abdihakim’s house and enters.  He stealthily walks in looking upstairs thinking that he would be in the bedroom.  He didn’t like breaking in because that gave the element of surprise to the opponent since he knew his house better than Nouno did.  Given that everything was shut down, however, Nouno really didn’t have a choice.  Abby entered the house so neighbors couldn’t see but she huddled in the corner so nobody could creep behind her.  She knew Nouno had to lead and she wanted him to.  Suddenly, there was a yell as a man charged towards Nouno.  Nouno turned and grabbed Abdihakim’s arms alarmed that his right hand held a machete.  Nouno was the same height but 25 pounds heavier than Abdihakim but Abdihakin had the added motivation that he was defending his home.  Nouno managed to turn Abdihakim so his back was to Abby.  Nouno purposely let Abdihakim drive him back a couple steps so he’d be focused on Nouno.  Abby knew what he wanted and she skulked out from the corner and drove a syringe into the back of Abdihakim’s neck rending him unconscious and dropping the machete.

                When Abdihakim woke up, he was in his boxers strapped down to a bed.  He took a deep breath and his body relaxed.  Abby, who was standing over him, was surprised as most people struggled with their restraints or got angry.  Abby inquired, “Do you know why we’re here?”

                “I’m guessing it’s to kill me.”

                “That would be right but do you know why?”

                “Does it matter?”

                “I would think it would to you.”

                “No, not really.  I’m tired of running.  I’m glad it’s finally over.  I don’t really want to live in this world.”

                “What world would that be?  Where it’s frowned upon to molest 13-year-old girls?”

                “No, I’ve always known America was like that.  People here are so soft.”

                “Yea, I mean fucking an 8^th grader is wrong.  Toughen up, you’re doing her a favor right?  Girls should be having their first kiss then not fucking.”

                “Look around little girl, do you like the world you see?”

                “No, the girl you raped was a little girl.  I’m a full grown ass adult. “

                “How old are you?”

                “You never ask a woman that.”

                “You’re going to kill me anyway so what difference does it make?”

                “27”

                “Yea, well I’m 40.  That means you’re just barely old enough for me for it to be socially acceptable.  The formula is half your age plus seven right?  Perfect”

                “You’re 47.  You raped the girl at 40.”

                “Seems like you know a lot about me.”

                “I do.”

                “Well, look around.  You have the entire country shut down because of a virus that only really kills people with serious health problems or are above 65.”

                “We needed to get it under control.”

                “By shutting the economy down?  That’s stupid.  This is the first time in history that people don’t realize that life is about trade-offs.  Nothing is completely safe yet now you get people say that if one life is saved, it’s worth it.  What about the effects of losing your job?  That harms health.”

                “People lose their jobs all the time; they just find new ones.”

                “That’s really naïve.  Losing your job ranks very high on the spectrum of health degrading stressors.  It even ranks higher than the death of a close friend.”

                “This is different.  You know that when the economy opens, you’ll get your job back.”

                “No, you don’t know that.  It could be a whole new world.”

                “People are dying.”

                “Yea, and they die from car accidents and heart disease, cancer, the flu.  Hell, 70,000 people died last year from drug overdose.  That’s like seven times more than the Coronavirus right now but you didn’t hear the elites say anything about that.”

                “That is based on people’s choices.”

                “It wouldn’t be people’s choices to go to the office or continue to dine in restaurants and go out in public despite fears of the Coronavirus?”

                “That harms other people.”

                “People who drink never hurt someone else?  People that get in car accidents never hurt someone else like the person they hit?”

                “That’s different.”

                “No, it’s not.  See, it’s really easy to talk about when it’s not your ass on the line.  You still have your job right?”

                “Yea, my job it’s easy to work from home.”

                “Yea, that’s why you say what you say.”

                “No, I say what I say because it’s the truth.  We need to stop the spread.  This is very contagious and very dangerous.  Alcoholism and drug abuse is not contagious.”

                “You need to understand that you’re choosing between two bad options.  I’m not saying that opening the economy is good; it’s just not as bad as keeping it closed.  People are getting infected anyway even with the shutdown.  States that haven’t shut down don’t have higher contagion rates than states that did.  It’s not working.  When faced with tough decisions, you need to go with the least bad one.”

                “You’re saying that the only question we should ask is how you mitigate a threat with the least possible cost?”

                “Yes”

                “Tell me something; was it worth the trade-off to rape that little girl when you knew you’d be on the run?  Did she rock your world so much that it was worth being strapped to a bed about to be killed?  Did you really choose the least bad option when you made her wet not from the traditional way but because of blood?  Did you enjoy getting your dick wet with blood?  Was all of that worth it?”

                “I didn’t say I always make the right choice.  We are talking about ideally.  I’m only human, I make mistakes.”

                “No, this isn’t about human.  You aren’t human; you’re scum.  Child rapists are the worst people in society.  Don’t you fucking lecture me on making good choices.  You’re here because you made the worst fucking possible choice when you chose to rape that mentally handicapped little girl.  That’s right, I know she was disabled you sick fuck.  Fuck you!” Abby screamed at the end and put on rubber gloves and pulled down his boxers and declared, “I don’t want to get Coronavirus by touching you.”

                She picked up his machete and grabbed his penis in her left hand.  Abdihakim’s eyes widened in horror as he realize what was about to happen.  Abby commented, “You have lost you right to have a penis.” As she slashed the machete against his shaft.

                Abby continued hacking until she removed his scrotum and penis as Abdihakin screamed and begged her not to.  She picked up the organs he misused and drove them into his mouth.  She barked, “Stop screaming like a bitch!”

                Abby taped Abdihakim’s mouth keeping his former body part inside.  She then plugged his nose and shook her head.  “You know guys always tell me that if they could, they would suck their own dick.  You never really hear girls say they want to lick their own pussy.  You should feel lucky that you get the chance.”

                Abby looked over at Nouno who had turned his head.  He hated watching this but that didn’t mean that he didn’t think they deserved it.  Castration was only reserved for child rapists but there seemed to be a lot of those in Minneapolis.  Suddenly, Abdihakim was no longer moaning or squirming and his body was still.  Abby held his nose closed for another minute before releasing.  They wrapped his body and carried it to their car throwing him in the trunk.  Nouno then drove to the crematorium and they broke in.  They loaded Abdihakim on to the machine and turned it on.  As they didn’t want to wait around for the hours long process, they left and drove a little ways and pulled over.  Abby queried, “Is it just me, or did that guy seem too wise to be a bus driver?”

                “Don’t judge someone’s intelligence by their profession.”

                “I know, I’m just saying.”

                “He had life experience.”

                “I suppose.”

                “Wise or not, you got one thing right; he was a piece of shit.”

                “No question.  I was thinking though.  With these conservatives that keep complaining about the economic collapse of the country over this pandemic, how come a pandemic never caused an economic collapse before?”

                “We never reacted to it by shutting down the economy before.”

                “I think this one is pretty bad though.”

                “It doesn’t have a fatality rate higher than all the others we’ve seen; even with the inflated numbers.”

                “Why are they inflated again?”

                “Most tests are done to people who feel sick.  They’re not done as much on the general population.  That, and now they count everything as this.  There’s been a sharp decline in people dying from stroke, heart disease and cancer since they started counting this every day.”

                “Okay, so if it’s not the fatality rate, maybe it’s the information dissemination.  I mean, they didn’t have social media during the 1918 Spanish Flu.”

                “That is what most people think but I’ve been thinking about this.  A lot of viruses do have news that make it around the world and then it comes back.  It still didn’t have catastrophic economic consequences.”

                “They were more prepared the second time around.”

                “Were they though?”

                “Yea, it was old news by then.”

                “Still, it killed like two percent of the world population and then everyone knew it was back.  You’d think people would still be worried yet you didn’t see an impact in the market.”

                “I suppose you’re right.  Maybe it’s globalism and the interconnectedness of global supply.”

                “That does seem like a valid option and I do think that will diminish if things go to normal.  The thing is, though, it can be argued that it’s a lack of globalism.  We relied too much on one provider.  People may argue that multiple countries need to be the suppliers of products in case one gets shut down like this one.”

                “Oil countries do that and they collude.”

                “But oil is cheap”

                “Except when one country gets theirs destroyed.”

                “It doesn’t rise that much.  It’s not like this.”

                “If not globalism, then what?”

                “The policy prescription is the best explanation.  You shut down the economy.  You stopped people from producing things.  There was nothing wrong with the economy before this happened.  When you stop the productivity of a country, then the market has no choice but to collapse.  That’s what caused the panic.  The government forced unemployment to 32%.”

                “That does seem like the most direct affect.  Like you said, though, the economy was strong before this so that means there should be a V-shaped recovery in that we recover really quickly.”

                “The longer we wait to re-open the economy, the harder it will be to get that ‘V.’  The more stimulus packages we put through, especially with New Green Deal and the other shit the Democrats want in it, the less likely that we will.”

                They talked for a while longer and then go back to the crematorium to dispose of the remains.  Afterwards, they go back to the hotel and get some rest.  Before going to bed, Abby exclaims, “You got to be kidding me?”

                “What?”

                “Governor Northum put on a black face mask.”

                Nouno shook his head, “Wow, he just doesn’t learn does he?”

                “Learn what?  He’s still the governor of Virginia.  People forgot about the scandal so he knows it won’t take him down.”

                “Way to resurrect it.”

                “Well, Easter is coming up.”

                Nouno laughed and finished getting ready for bed.  The next day, they were back on a plane that they had all to themselves back to Arizona.  On the plane, Nouno articulates, “Durham has intensified his investigation of John Brennan.”

                “When he doesn’t find anything or says something that you think is really bad but they don’t prosecute him, will you let it go?”

                “No, not at all.  I hate how liberals are above the law.”

                “I knew you’d say that.”

                “You should, I’ve been pretty consistent about that.”

                “What’s he looking into?”

                “The Steele dossier and if it was used in the 2017 assessment that Brennan swore it wasn’t.  He also wants to know why Comey and McCabe insist that it was.  Basically, he’s asking the question if Brennan misled us all about the dossier use.”

                “That is what you wanted to know; to see if he lied to congress or under oath like Flynn and Papadopoulos were accused of.  If they deem he wasn’t, then you have to go with it.”

                “No, I don’t.  I need to see the evidence.  By the way, he didn’t claim that he hadn’t seen the dossier until December 2016 to congress or under oath; it was to Chuck Todd on NBC.”

                “Right, the whole he didn’t need to see the actual dossier because he was talking to Steele.  The little play on words.”

                “I actually listened to the interview the other day.  It turns out he also claims he didn’t know what was on it and it had nothing to do with the intellectual assessment.  Even if it was Steele’s information and he heard it from him; he still had an idea what was in the dossier and used the information in the intellectual assessment.  I don’t think the play on words works anymore.  He straight up lied.”

                “It’s not illegal to lie to a journalist.”

                “True, but it should attack your character and credibility.”

                “I don’t think he has much of either anymore.”

                “Nor do I.  The thing is on Chuck Todd’s show, he constantly talked about how it was the FBI’s job to verify it.”

                “They did and Comey declared it ‘salacious and unverified.’”

                “Yes, and Brennan told Todd that that doesn’t mean it’s untrue.”

                “It kind of does yes.”

                “No, unverified means it could still be true and salacious means having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters.  That could be said about a true statement.”

                Abby sighed and rejoined, “So why do you think he misled the FBI?”

                “FBI lawyer Lisa Page in sworn testimony seemed shocked when Congressman Mark Meadows informed her that Steele was a CIA source too.  She stuttered but got out that she’s not aware of any other sources the CIA had and it would surprise her if they had Steele’s reports in July.  She goes on to say she wasn’t aware of any other sources and it would be unusual for the CIA to not pass that along to them; which they didn’t.”

                “And you believe her?  Even after all the texts back and forth with Strzok about setting this whole thing up?”

                “Yes, because she seemed confused and hesitant.  If this was all part of the plan, she would have been more decisive and forceful in her speech.”

                “I’m sure she realizes that too.”

                “I’m not so sure.”

                “Well, Christopher Steele released a statement that he still stands by what he did and his sources.”

                “That’s funny because his sources told the FBI that Steele lied or misrepresented what they said.  Three Russians that were in the dossier are suing him for defamation now.”

                “See, they do like Trump”

                “Or they don’t like to be falsely accused of committing espionage on the most powerful country in the world.  They may retaliate.”

                “Well, it’s Steele’s word against the Russians.  Who are you going to believe?”

                “Do I have to answer that?”

                Abby laughed and explained, “I’m just saying that they probably need some non-Russians to attack him.”

                “Like British ambassador to Russia Andrew Wood?”

                “Yea, that will work.”

                “He was contacted by Durham.”

                “What is Durham saying he did?”

                “Well, he said he wouldn’t comment further and to see his public statements.  His public statements admit that he told McCain about the dossier and he sent David Kramer to London to get a copy of it.  This was August 2016.  When the FBI was given it, they didn’t realize it came from the same source that gave them the dossier in July.  Due to the fact it came from a Republican, it carried more weight.  Do you know what we call this?”

                “What?” she blurted out with a tone that signified she wasn’t interested.

                “Information laundering.”

                “That’s actually a good name for it.  Money laundering is when you take money obtained in a shady way and mix it with money made in a legitimate way to make it hard to distinguish between the two.  If you have one piece of information and someone wants to give you the same information from another source, it corroborated it.  If you don’t have corroborating evidence, you want to hide the source of the information and mix it with the information garnered legitimately.  By combining the known source information with the information that has no source then both pass as good and corroborating but that’s only because you don’t know that both were from the same source.”

                “That is exactly right.”

                Abby flashed a huge grin that melted Nouno.  They land in Arizona and head back to their home.  Abby ripped her clothes off to her bra and panties and leapt into their swimming pool.  Nouno took the bags inside and unpacked.  It was good to get out of the house but they knew that it wouldn’t take long before they got stir crazy again.  Nobody ever asked about Abdihakim as the country was too occupied with Coronavirus.