Real Characters Episode 50 Finally a Win for the Democrats

                It is November 2019 and California Governor Newsom is looking at a report.  There has been a spike in Californians getting the flu so he declares that California is having an early flu season.  Aside from that, he doesn’t give much thought to it as his primary focus is how to destroy Donald Trump.  He has just gotten passed a bill known as ‘AB5,’ which will cripple free lance writers, car-share services, artists, and many other side hustles that Californians enjoy.  The original intent was to attack Uber and Lyft but the externalities will be far worse as after the New Year, approximately a million people will lose their jobs because of this.  This is all good news for Newsom because it will put a dent in President Trump’s vaunted record low unemployment rate.  Little does he know that AB5 would pale in comparison to what the thing he overlooked will do to the Donald Trump economy.

                In early January, President Trump issues a travel ban on China because he is concerned about a virus that had been unleashed in Wuhan, China.  Although the World Health Organization and China say it isn’t a serious threat and can’t be transmitted from human to human, President Trump is skeptical.  This leads to Democrats to incessantly attack him for being racist and xenophobic.  One by one the politicians in the two bluest states in the country; California and New York, come out and encourage people to come to Chinatown as it is safe and downplays the Wuhan Virus. 

                Over the next two months, the country will go into a panic over the virus and shut down.  Although the amount of things this halted is innumerable, one is that Attorney General Bill Barr and US Attorney of Connecticut John Durham can no longer travel the world as they investigate the origin and the investigation of whether or not President Trump colluded with Russia to win the 2016 election.  Around the peak of the crisis, Barr goes on Laura Ingraham’s show and calls the Russian collusion investigations one of the greatest travesties in American history because they investigated and spied on a president without any basis and did so solely to sabotage the presidency. 

                It has been an interesting couple of years for Bill Barr.  When he was first appointed, he casually took the job.  Given that he had already been attorney general once, it wasn’t too big of an honor.  He had also been the head of the FBI so he had done enough in politics for a lifetime and would have been just as content to go about his life never having a high law enforcement position again.  This attitude was precisely why he was chosen by President Trump to be the Attorney General to replace the fired Loretta Lynch.  Within months of taking the job, Barr would get confirmation that it would take someone with no political aspirations to have the job as Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi threatened to arrest him and put him in the prisons below the Capitol Building that hadn’t been used in recent memory.  Although supporters of the president were enraged by this, Barr was amused and when he saw Pelosi he asked if she brought the hand cuffs.  It was then that liberals realized they were dealing with someone who had no interest or need to kiss up to anyone.  As soon as his investigation was over, he would ride into the sunset. 

                Now that it has been a couple years since Barr took the job, conservatives were beginning to turn on him as well.  They were frustrated that Republicans and Trump supporters were being arrested left and right for process crimes and things that the FBI just made up.  All these reports had come out of malfeasance and errors by the FBI yet people like Mike Flynn were still on trial while Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, Andrew McCabe, Jim Comey, John Brennan, Jim Clapper and many others that actually had real evidence against them got away scot free.

                Barr’s report was supposed to come out in the springtime but now that it was April, it was looking like that wasn’t the case.  He did confirm to Ingraham that it was no longer just about the origins but they expanded the scope to cover into the Trump presidency in order to refute claims and denials from the intelligence community that the president was under investigation when he was no longer ‘president-elect’ Trump.  It doesn’t take too much of an imagination to know that he’s talking about the Mueller probe but he doesn’t explicitly say that. 

                After the interview, he goes back to his team to discuss the case.  Although his team is very familiar with the core of the report, Barr insists on repetition so it’s second nature to them.  He announces, “Okay, so who is the main focus on the culpability of this?”

                “John Brennan” comes a collective voice about the former head of the CIA.

                “What do we think about his claim that the origin was based on a mosaic of information?”

                “Completely false; it was all based on Steele’s dossier.” A man fires back

                “So that’s the CIA angle but does that absolve the FBI?”

                 “Well, Comey called it a corpus of intelligence so that’s the same lie.”

                “What about the claim that the CIA lied to the FBI so the FBI was fooled just like the FISA court was?”

                A woman in the group answers, “In January 2017, the FBI interviewed Steele’s sources and they all denied what Steele had said.  There were some things they claim Steele just made up that they said and others that he exaggerated and misrepresented.  After those interviews, there is no more plausible deniability for the FBI as they renewed the FISA three more times knowing it was based on a false document.”

                The first man added on, “Like Brennan said, it was the FBI’s job to vet and verify the information and in the process of them doing so, they knew it was false but went with it anyway.”

                The woman retorted, “Brennan is lying about that.  He included the dossier information in the president’s daily briefing.  The CIA doesn’t go around peddling unverified information.  Like we said, Brennan is the most culpable for this.”

                Barr interrupted, “Let’s just suffice it to say that they are both culpable.”

                The meeting adjourns and Barr is in his office privately reflecting on the case.  One of the things that most infuriates conservatives is that President Trump has given him the power to declassify any documents he wants.  He has yet to use that power but now he’s considering whether or not it’s time.  He sighs and calls Inspector General Horowitz.  He starts, “Good evening inspector general, how are you today?”

                “I’m doing as well as I can be.  This Coronavirus has everyone on edge.”

                “Yes, but our work is one of the few in this country that does continue.”

                “Of course sir.”

                “I wanted to let you know that I’m going to declassify the footnotes in your report last year.”

                “Which ones?”

                “That ones about Steele and his Russian sources.”

                “Are you sure you want to do that sir?  The British may be very upset with you as it embarrasses one of their former MI6 agents.  You and I both know that it clearly shows he was duped in a Russian disinformation campaign.”

                “It is with that knowledge that I have hesitated this long but I need a definitive answer to submit to the American people about what percentage of the dossier was completely fabricated by Steele and what was an active plot by Russian disinformation artists.”

                “With the tension with China right now over Covid19, are you sure you want to risk angering the Russians and the British?”

                “There is a new British Prime Minister right now of the opposing party as the one that oversaw England when Steele was up to his antics.  From what I hear, he is off the ventilator and recovering from his bout with Covid19 so I don’t think that will be an issue.  As for the Russians, given what they did to our country, I really don’t care what they think.”

                “Just between you and me, there are some things I don’t understand.”

                “I’ll do my best to answer but keep in mind there are things I can’t reveal to you.”

                “I understand that.  It’s nothing major but our investigations do have overlap.  When I saw the interview with Bill Priestap and pressed him on the Russian’s motives he couldn’t answer the question as to why the Russians wanted to denigrate Hillary Clinton and favor Donald Trump.  Do you have any answer to that?”

                “I’m a little concerned that Priestap was one of the highest ranking officials in the FBI and hasn’t figured that out after all this time.”

                “In fairness, neither have I.”

                “The Russians didn’t favor President Trump.  They wanted chaos.  Between Skolkovo and paying $ 500,000 for Bill Clinton to give a speech in Russia while Hillary was Secretary of State, they had a lot of dirt on her.  If she won, that’s what everyone would have been talking about but since she lost, people talked about this.”

                “How sure are you of this?”

                “Even Fiona Hill testified to this during the impeachment of the president.  If someone that hates the president admits this then it helps with the credibility as there is an incentive for them to deny this.”

                “Like all the other haters of the President have done.”

                “Yes”

                “The more I look into this, the more I’m believing that there are only two options.  Either the FBI and CIA were completely and utterly politically biased against Trump that they justified advancing information they knew to be false or they are really stupid and gullible.  I’m having trouble finding a third option.”

                “I haven’t been able to find one in my investigation either and I assure you Durham feels the same way.”

                “That’s scary to think.”

                “It is, but back to the reason I called.  Consider yourself warned and I do expect full cooperation from your office with this.”

                “Of course I will not inhibit you in any way but I just want to get it on the record that this new information will give the public clear information that the highest levels of our FBI lied to them and will fracture the bond and trust the American people have with our law enforcement.”

                “I’m afraid that damage has already been done.  Your opposition is duly noted but I do need to go forward with this.”

                “Yes sir.”

                “You have a good night.”

                “You too and stay safe.”

                “You as well.”

                Not too far away from Barr’s office, the Capitol Building is abuzz as they are in negotiations to pass phase four of the Coronavirus bill.  Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has taken the initial 4 Trillion dollar bill and condensed it to $250 Billion as it only includes aid to small businesses and doesn’t contain the Green New Deal riders the Democrats had put forth.  Just like with phase 3, negotiations were going very well until the Speaker of the House, who is not a member of the Senate, blocked it.  This caused a stalemate that pushed the aid back four days. 

                Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer calls Pelosi and poses, “Nancy, my state is getting hammered by this shut down and the virus. 34% of all the nation’s cases are in my state; our businesses really need this aid.”

                “Chuck, that’s what you said for phase 3 and look at all the riders I got through for the Kennedy Center, water in Utah, Forrest fire protection and many other things that had nothing to do with the virus.  I did it once, I can do it again.”

                “What was your problem with the bill?”

                “It was on a first come first serve basis.  We can’t have that.  We need to virtue signal the minorities and add identity politics into this.  Think of the end game; we need to oust Trump in the election so we need to curry favor with the minorities.”

                “They already vote overwhelmingly in our favor.”

                “That is less true now than ever.  Blexit has really hurt our base so we need to keep beating it home that they need us.  This virus is the best thing that could have ever happened to us.”

                “Tell that to all my dead constituents.”

                “Don’t you see Chuck?  Our states were on the verge of bankruptcy before this crisis.  This is our chance to get a federal bailout.  The numbers are tapering off as the models completely overestimated this.  We can get the money that the models indicate we needed and use all the extra money to fund our personal endeavors.”

                “We did that in Phase 3”

                “That’s called a proof of concept.  That’s how I know I can do it again in Phase 4.  The President is under enormous pressure, he will cave again just like he did in the two omnibus bills and Phase 3.”

                “You are playing a dangerous game.  Even CNN and NBC are turning on us.”

                Pelosi’s tone turned serious, “What do you mean?”

                “They ran headlines that the Senate Democrats blocked the Coronavirus bill to help small businesses.”

                “What the fuck?  Shit, why didn’t you tell me this earlier?  Why didn’t you call them when you found out?  You’re wasting your time with me questioning something that I proved I was right about two weeks ago.  I got to go.  I’ll talk to you later.”

                Pelosi didn’t even wait for Schumer to hang up.  She immediately called the editors of CNN and NBC.  Schumer and many other Democrats did the same and it didn’t take long for them to change their headlines to read that both the Republicans and Democrats blocked the bill and they were at a stalemate. The change didn’t go unnoticed as conservatives broadcasted it all over their platforms to show how the media wasn’t even hiding that they were propaganda arms of the Democrat party and are ruled by them.

                Also in New York, Hillary Clinton has her feet kicked up on her desk in her home.  There is a cigar in her mouth and she is smiling as the state she lives in gets the worst of the pandemic.  She utters to her husband Bill, “We finally did it.  We finally tricked Trump into doing something stupid.”

                “Technically it was the governors that shut down.”

                “Yea, but the president was on record urging them to do so.  Now, his top expert, Dr. Fauci, has lowered his scenario from 100,000 dead to 60,000.”

                “Yes, and then when people attack the models, we can just claim victory.”

                “It’s weird.  This failed time and time again with Climate Change as nobody went into Draconian overexaggerated policy mode based on those models.  Then, when we use the same models for a virus, everyone falls for it.  It’s the same trick.”

                “Well, people have been touting the flu numbers.  60,000 is right in the range of people who normally die from the flu.”

                “It doesn’t matter, the damage has been done.  Even the hero Dewine had to lower his estimates from 160,000 to like 1,600”

                “We got most states on board.  Both the right and the left are criticizing anyone that doesn’t shut down but the adjustment in the models is giving the fringe conservatives that have been criticizing the lock down from the start ammunition.”

                “It doesn’t matter.  They lost.  Like you said, we explain away the models that our social distancing and shut down worked.  Just how between Inconvenient Truth and An Inconvenient Sequel, the polar bear population, a focus in the first one, had increased by six times by the sequel so Gore didn’t mention it.  Whenever someone points it out, Gore claims victory that since he raised awareness, efforts like the Paris Accords were made and we saved the polar bears.”

                “People know that the world didn’t follow those accords and Trump pulled out.”

                “It didn’t stop us from claiming victory and still many people believe us.  Now, we actually did drastic actions so of course they’re going to believe us now.”

                “Those models factored in 100% social distancing though.”

                “People are too dumb to realize that.   They believe what we tell them to believe.”

                The phone rings and Hillary sees that it’s Nancy Pelosi.  She answers, “Hello, Nancy.”

                “Hello Hillary.  How are you?”

                “I’m doing great.  Good job for blocking that bill.  We need to get funding for liberal causes.”

                “Yea, I can’t believe Schumer almost fell for it again.  I just yelled at him and then I had to yell at the media.  It’s like we’ve been losing so long, we’re forgetting what it’s like to win.”

                “Well, I haven’t forgotten.  You want to know what winning looks like?  JP Morgan just published a report about the economy contracting by 40% and unemployment hit 20%.  You thought you were so good when you raised it from 3.5% to 3.6% with AB5.”

                “Yea, and then the next month, Trump got it back to 3.5%”

                “So, we called our friends the Chinese and voila, 20%!  Run on that jackass!”

                “Honestly, this couldn’t have worked out any better for us; especially me.”

                “Yea, your state is mostly tech and Silicon Valley people.  They have no problem working from home.”

                “But all those blue collar, coal miners that keep complaining that we want to eliminate their jobs are being laid off en masse and it’s all being done under a President Trump administration.  Just how the SALT deductions only affected liberal states like California, New York and Illinois, we turned the table and issued a pandemic that only affects blue collar manufacturing people that Trump disproportionally helped over the last three years.  They enjoyed their 6% wage rates, which was double than the top income bracket and the income inequality was shrinking. Well, how does that feel now when we let China make your income 0?”

                “They should have thought of that before they embarrassed Biden forcing him to challenge one to a fight.”

                “We do need to talk to him about that.”

                “Yea, that’s why Barack hasn’t endorsed him yet and he’s the only nominee left!”

                “It feels good to stick it to the blue-collar workers.  They always think they’re so important but they’re just dumb people.  We need them from the neck down but lately they’ve wanted to think.”

                “Yea, but they got what was coming to them.”

                “Honestly, I’m really surprised at how well this pandemic has gone for us; especially me.”

                “Yea, California has really been spared the brunt of this.”

                “New York has half our population and 14 times the cases.”

                “I know, I’ve seen the numbers.”

                “Yea, a new study says that we may have gotten a herd immunity since so many Chinese people had flown here; even from Wuhan.”

                “Well, you did have that early flu season in November.”

                “Yea, we think that it was actually a mild case of this but it gave our population the antibodies.  They are confirming it now.”

                “Don’t publicize that too much.  We want it to be that you shut down and implemented shelter-in-place and social distancing precautions.”

                “Don’t worry I know; but New York only followed our policy three days after we did.  It’s hard to justify the difference in our numbers from just three days.”

                “Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.”

                “You’re preaching to the choir on that one.”

                “There’s just one thing that isn’t going so well for us.”

                “The 20 or so states that didn’t shut down.”

                “Yea, we can’t have anything challenge our narrative.  There can be no opportunity for people to compare states that closed down vs. states that didn’t as it devastates our case and hurts our authoritative narrative.”

                “We have contingencies.  We just tell people that nobody lives in those states.  For something like South Dakota, it’s believable.”

                “Doesn’t matter; we can’t give scientists a control group.”

                “We are constantly putting pressure on them to follow suit.  There’s not much more we can do.”

                “You can do what they did in England; guilt private sector people.  Tell them that their selfishness in going to work puts public sector jobs like subway drivers at risk because they have to go to work and risk their lives for them.”

                “Public transportation isn’t too popular in South Dakota.”

                “Yes, but you let the people in the cities, where most of them live, know that if someone goes to work, then they are selfish assholes putting the poor little public sector workers’ lives in danger.”

                “Are you saying that public sector lives are more important the private sector lives?”

                “That’s exactly what I’m saying and that is what every sheep that stays home will be saying too; though they won’t realize it.”

                “It is a minor hiccup.  My phase 3 bill giving furloughed employees 100% of their salary will inhibit them from going back to work.  We finally created a welfare state just like Europe.  Now, they will be begging us for the scraps from our table as we constantly remind them of Covid19 and why they need us!”

                “I don’t mean to minimize your work but now is not the time to rest on your laurels.  There is one more loose end and that’s the states that haven’t shut down.  Tell them that your models suggest that they will be the next epicenter. This disease hurts diabetic people and the Midwest is all obese people so that will make it a believable story.”

                “I got this under control Hillary.  Nobody is resting here.  I flew back from California to get Phase 3 passed the way I want it.  I’m doing the work and I have no intention of slowing down.”

                “Good, you’ve been a good ally in this.  Thank you.”

                “Of course.”

                With that, the conversation ends.  Hillary Clinton then calls the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman.  She answers the phone, “Yes Ma’ame.”

                “Hi, Maggie.”

                “What can I do for you?”

                “I want you to write an article saying that because of Covid19, we can’t ever have in-person voting again.”

                “We have been saying that and the conservatives keep talking about how easy it is to defraud mail-in voting.”

                “Then release a statement saying it’s extremely rare.”

                “I would but we wrote an article in 2012 saying that mail-in votes are less likely to be counted.  In fact, it was twice as likely for a mail-in vote to be lost than it was for an in-person vote.  Two percent of mail-in ballots are never counted and hit a dead end.”

                “Nobody remember 2012.  Back then, people were talking about the end of the world because the Mayans said so.”

                “Conservatives have done a good job of finding old articles to discredit us.  I’m going to look retarded if I come out.”

                “When have my enormous media conglomerate army and my mob also known as the IRS and DOJ not had your back?”

                “Never” Maggie replied timidly

                “Then do as I say!”

                “Yes Ma’ame” she rejoined defeated. 

                “If you’re nervous about it, play the racial card.”

                “How do I do that?”

                “Say what we always do; that blacks and Hispanics are too dumb to know how to vote in person so if you attack mail-in voting, you’re a racist that hates blacks, Hispanics and the poor.”

                “I’ll soften the language up a bit but yea, I think that’ll work.”

                “Of course it’ll work.  It always works especially with the momentum we have now.”

                Hillary gets off the phone frustrated.  She can’t believe that people are failing to realize that the general public doesn’t have the same information and knowledge that her and her cronies do.  The conservatives have a very limited reach and now that people know people that died from the Wuhan Virus, nobody is listening to them.  Her phone rings again and she takes a deep breath.  On the phone is the only person that can claim to have the same power over the Democrats as she does.  She clicks the ‘accept’ button and Barack Obama’s voice comes on the line, “Aloha Hillary.”

                “I take it you’re not in Martha’s Vineyard in your multi-million dollar home.”

                “No, I’m in Hawaii where they have one of the lowest numbers of cases in the country.”

                “That’s probably a good idea.”

                “I bet Bill is really happy with the economic news that came out.”

                “There are so many good ones I’m not sure which you are referring to.”

                “The national debt has just surpassed $24 Trillion”

                “I hadn’t seen that but after spending two trillion, I figured we were close.”

                “This is going to be the most predictable bankruptcy in American history and yet nobody sees it coming.”

                “Well, although we are politicians, you know as well as I do that they’re all a bunch of self-absorbed, self-interested assholes.”

                “Yes, but some of us know how to play the game and profit over the destruction of the country.”

                “Too many people think it’s only about the money.  That’s nice but the power is so much better and more rewarding.”

                “Indeed.”

                “It’s a good thing you didn’t replenish the Federal stock piles of M-95 masks after the H1N1 epidemic in 2011.”

                “I know.  Could you imagine that piece of shit Trump coming to the rescue with those?  His poll numbers have already gone up but that would have really made him shine.”

                “Everyone is always worried about the present that they don’t bother to prepare for the future.  It’s always the mentality that we’ll just tackle that problem if it comes up so there’s no need to prepare.”

                “Kind of like how New York auctioned off their stock pile of ventilators in 2012 because they didn’t want to spend the money to maintain them.”    

                “Yea, they’re regretting that now.”

                “Do you think that maybe this pandemic will open their eyes?”

                “No.  Between the housing bubble that was blatantly obvious and getting rid of emergency stockpiles of supplies, people never learn.  All the signs of the American bankruptcy have been around for years.  That’s why Bill faked the surplus.  We’ve been warning about this for 20 years, and nobody does anything.  Americans think that they couldn’t possibly be like Venezuela, Japan or Argentina.  Only in America, will the economic collapse be slow and gradual.”

                “Just how Bear Stearns and Leyman Brothers went out of business gradually.  It wasn’t like an overnight thing where the entire financial sector just burst and collapsed.” Hillary’s voice had heavy sarcasm.

                “And when it does, we’ll be right there to institute 80s style interest rates.  Then, they’ll have no choice but to print money and skyrocket inflation.  With the mass unemployment that follows, who will they turn to?”

                “Big Brother and Big Sister government; us.”

                “We’re finally almost there.”

                “We just need to stay vigilant and make it so that Trump can’t rebound the economy.”

                “Nancy has done a good job with that with overspending in the stimulus bills.”

                “I just spoke to her.  She has her head on right.”

                “I didn’t speak to her and I know that.”

                “True”

                “Well, I’m going to get going.  We’ll have a nice expensive bottle of champagne when Trump loses the election because his precious economy is in ruins.  We’ll drink another bottle when America declares bankruptcy.”

                “Thank you China”

                “Yes.  Thank you Shi Zenghali” 

Nouno the Vigilante episode 48 Phase 4 is Socialism

                Abdihakim Mohammed Isse is a 40-year-old bus driver in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  At 6’0” 200lbs, he’s a little larger than average size but not enough to be intimidating.  Abdihakim looks like he may not have had the most charmed life as there is a small scar in between his eyes and a larger one on his right arm.  His cheeks are also scarred but it’s from acne rather than something nefarious. 

                One day, a 13-year-old mentally disabled girl forgot to get off at her stop.  Abdihakim didn’t notice she hadn’t gotten off until he dropped off his last student.  As he looked back, he realized nobody was watching and figured that since she was developmentally disabled, nobody would believe her if she were to accuse him of something.  With this confidence, he molested and sexually assaulted her in order to make her more amenable and look to him as an authority figure.  After he was finished, he invited her to see a movie.  Although nobody in Minnesota would prosecute him for this, there was someone far away in Arizona that was very intrigued.

 

                In Arizona, Nouno and his wife Abby are watching a movie.  They are beginning to get stir crazy constantly working at home. Both are avid sports fans and with no sports due to the Wuhan Virus, they’re not sure what to do with themselves.  Abby is especially taking it hard as she is a huge baseball fan and opening day is her favorite time of the year but she will not be able to experience it this year for the first time in her life.  She catches he husband yelling, “Jesus Christ! First they say President Trump overreacted to the virus with the travel ban on China and now they’re saying that they knew all along and Trump did nothing.  Make up your fucking minds!”

                 “Shut up!  Why do you care?  Everyone always wants credit after the fact.  There’s even a name for it, it’s called ‘Monday morning quarterback’”

                “Why do I care?  History is always written by the victors and we can’t let the liberals pretend that the most conservative president in your lifetime (Abby was born in 1993 but Nouno was born in 1984 and Reagan could give Trump a run for most conservative president ever) was responsible for dropping the ball on a pandemic.  If we don’t counteract the revisionist history then future generations won’t know who was really responsible for this. Just how our generation doesn’t know that Hitler was a socialist, only Democrats owned slaves before the Civil War, Martin Luther King was a Republican, Democrats were against the Civil Right Movement and made up the KKK.”

                “Well, you get one good thing out of this?”

                “What’s that?”

                “They’re pushing in the next infrastructure bill to add the digital dollar.  They tried to put it in the last stimulus deal but the Republicans blocked it.”

                “Why the fuck would I want that?!”

                “You never carry cash; you always pay with credit card.”

                “Yes, because that’s my choice but if everyone were forced to do that, it would suck.”

                “How the fuck do you figure that?”

                “This is a ploy because they want us to have negative interest rates like they do in Europe.”

                “No, this is just realizing that since paper money is exchanged between people, it can spread viruses so it’s really bad during a pandemic.”

                “Never let a good crisis go to waste.  Tell me something.  If you’re on the run from the government, what’s the first thing they do?”

                Abby’s eyes widened as she figured where he was going with this.  She responded sarcastically, “Put up road blocks.”

                “I can tell by your face you know where I’m going.”

                “They track your credit cards.”

                “Right.  So now with the digital dollar, they can track all of your spending.”

                “They do that now?”

                “What if I wanted to buy a gun?”

                “Well then….oh wait, they get an automatic gun registry.”

                “There you go.  See, I only pay with credit cards, because my money earns interest in the bank so I want to keep it there as much as possible.  Since I pay my credit cards in full every month, I don’t have to spend any money on interest so the cash back plus the interest earned is all profit for me.”

                “You think the government would just take that away because they’re evil people?”

                “No, it’s because our debt is 22 Trillion dollars.  That debt incurs interest.  If the interest rate is negative, our debt is constantly decreasing.”

                “Well then that’s good.”

                “No, it’s not because I’m losing money too!”

                “So take your money out of the bank.”

                “I can’t because we are on the digital dollar and there is no paper currency anymore.  I no longer have that option.”

                “What about those USB drives that people hid Bitcoin on?”

                “I guess that would be the new safe but I’m not sure how it works.  I’d rather not learn.  Anything electronic can be hacked.”

                “Fine, no digital dollar.  I do think making elections available from anywhere rather than going to a polling area is a good idea.  The lines for presidential elections are long enough without social distancing.”

                “Is that in Phase four too?”

                “Yes.”

                “Yea, shitty idea.”

                Abby rolled her eyes, “Oh come on.  Don’t you want it to be easier to vote?”

                “That’s ballot harvesting.  There is voter fraud now when we only have to monitor polling stations.  Now, you want people to be trusted to collect the ballots and then walk it over?  You know how much easier you’re going to make it to rig an election?”

                “Aren’t you the one that said you can’t rig an election because there are 50 state elections?”

                “I said an outside power would make it hard.  You make it easier when you put a bunch of people in charge to carry the ballots there.  Who’s doing the collecting?”

                “Community organizers”

                “Right, who are almost all Democrats”

                “You’re just paranoid”

                “California already does this and it’s a disaster.  This is why Republicans always pray for rain on Election Day.  Voter turnout goes down when it rains.  That means your vote means more on rainy days.  Republicans are going to come out regardless; it’s you Democrats that are lazy and won’t just because it’s raining.”

                “Oh fuck you.  Democrats care just as much about voting as Republicans.”

                “Then why is it only Democrats that push to vote online and ballot harvesting and do it from anywhere?”

                “Sometimes people can’t vote.”

                “That’s why we have absentee ballots.  The thing is you have to apply for it.”

                “It’s not just Democrats that want convenience.”

                “Who’s pushing for ballot harvesting?”

                “Hillary Clinton.”

                “Democrat”

                “Marc Elias.”

                “Trump hating, Russian collusion hoaxer liberal.”

                “George Soros is pushing for nationwide drop boxes through one of his firms.”

                “Are you trying to prove me right?”

                “I’m sure some Republicans are in favor.”

                “Yea, we call them RINOs.  Bottom line is; Coronavirus helps Republicans on Election Day if polls are open because we’re the only ones that will show up.  You people can stay your ass at home.  Maybe then we can take back the house and then not have to deal with four more years of endless investigations.”

                “Democrats love this country too.”

                “No, they don’t.  They want to give stimulus checks to illegal immigrants.”

                “What are you talking about!  It was based on fucking tax returns.”

                “A New York congressman Adriano Espaillot called for it.”

                “I don’t want to fucking talk about this!  I just tried to give you some good news.  I don’t understand how you’re against policy that you yourself do.”

                “I try to explain this to you.  I do it because given my options now, it’s preferable.  If I had no choice, then the conditions could make it not preferable.  I have no problem going to polls to vote because I take it that seriously that I will get my ass out there.  I relish in people not feeling that way.  How can you say I do that myself?  I’ve never voted absentee; I’ve always gone to the polls.”

                “I meant the digital dollar.”

                “I think I explained that too.  If we had negative interest rates, I wouldn’t keep all my money in the bank anymore.”

                “Fine, we have a case.”

                “Good, we need to let off steam.”

                “Seriously, but this is mine.”

                “You seem to be finding a lot of them.”

                “Guess where we’re going?”

                “Minnesota.”

                “Yup”

                “At this point, maybe we should just move there.”

                “We can’t do that because you don’t want to live in the city you commit the crime in.”

                “I was being sarcastic.”

                “I know but you always nitpick everything I say so turnabout is fair play.”

                “Fair enough.”

                Abby books a commercial flight to Minnesota and Nouno has mixed feeling about it.  On one hand, it’s nice to feel like they’re flying in a private plane since nobody takes planes anymore.  On the other, someone may look into these murders happening as they fly in and fly out the day before and the day after. On the plane Abby smiles and turns to her husband, “Babe, I got something for you.”

                “What?”

                “You know how you always say that people need to start mass producing Hyroxychlorquinne because Trump said so.”

                “No, I said that because in French studies and other scientific studies, it has been proven very effective.  President Trump was basing his opinion on the same results I was.  There is a difference.”

                “Fine, but Micha Brezinsky of MSNBC just figured something out about it.”

                “If this is about the fish cleaner guy, spare me.  That dude was a moron and I know you’re smarter than that.  If you bought it at a pet store, it’s probably bad.  If you got it from a doctor or pharmacy because it was prescribed, then it’s good.”

                “I get that.  Stop talking down to me.”

                “You are advocating withholding life saving treatment from people with a fatal disease.  It’s hard not to be condescending.”

                “She figured that Trump was only saying it because he has a financial interest in it and it turns out he does.”

                “What is it?  He owns stock in the company that makes it?”

                “Yes”

                “How much?”

                “Well, it’s part of his family trust.  It has a bunch of mutual funds and the producers of plaqunill, the generic form of hyroxycchloriquinne is on it.”

                “Part of a mutual fund?”

                “Yes”

                “You do realize that they tell politicians to buy mutual funds because they’re diversified so nobody can accuse them of insider trading or things exactly like what you’re accusing him of?”

                “He benefits if the company does well.”

                “Marginally.  It’s part of a bundle.  You act like he’s one of the largest stock holders. The guy is a billionaire; the amount he’ll make with the company exploding is marginal.”

                “I suppose.”

                “Why do you not think whenever someone in the media says something?”

                “I do.”

                “Present conversations would suggest otherwise.”

                “No, the mayor of LA was talking about how snitches no longer get stitches but they get rewarded.  He’s offering to pay people to rat on their neighbors who go outside.  I know that’s exactly what they did in East Berlin and Russia.  See, I can notice when Democrats are acting like communists.”

                “There’s hope for you yet.  The sad thing is people are open to socialism now.  I bet some thought it was a good idea for the ‘safety of the public.’  They are destroying the bonds of society.  I took a tour in Berlin; the tour guide’s father had three spies on him.  One of them was one of his best friends.  It’s scary to think of that.”

                “Yea, even I’m against that.”

                The plane lands in Minnesota and they check into a different hotel they went to last time.  They also scope out other crematoriums as using the same place twice is dangerous.  Abby announces, “So, since we keep coming here; I booked our return flight for next week.”

                “You do realize that cops know the first 48 is key to finding the perpetrator of a homicide?  That’s why we leave immediately because we know all their efforts go into the first couple days.”

                “Which is why we are going to wait six days before we kill him and leave the following day.”

                “Oh, right, yea, that makes sense.”

                “See, I’m not as dumb as you think” she replied with a charming smile.

                “I never called you dumb.”

                “I know but I feel that way sometime.”

                “That would be your fault because I just debate with you.  I’m never talking down or being condescending; you just accuse me of that.”

                “Relax, I know.”

                Abby and Nouno stay in their hotel as there is shelter in place laws in Minnesota too.  They continue to work from home and lay low.  On the side, Abby is tracking Abdihakim to see by his social media posts and other public information databases, she can pinpoint his address.  After six days, she knows everything about him.  The most important thing is that he lives alone.  As he knows people are suspicious of him, he’s living in a Somali neighborhood as they won’t pay much attention to him.  On the way there, Nouno asks, “With this new society of snitching, this may not be as easy as we think.”

                “Nobody will recognize us and the Hmong don’t call the cops.  They protect rapists and stay in the shadows.”

                “That is true”

                “So, they’re not going to snitch on us if they see us.”

                “You know what?  I think you’re right.”

                “Now who’s not thinking before speaking?”

                “That’s how I learn.  I bounce ideas off of people through discussions.”

                “Okay Socrates.”

                “That’s exactly where I got it from; yes.”

                Nouno picks the lock to Abdihakim’s house and enters.  He stealthily walks in looking upstairs thinking that he would be in the bedroom.  He didn’t like breaking in because that gave the element of surprise to the opponent since he knew his house better than Nouno did.  Given that everything was shut down, however, Nouno really didn’t have a choice.  Abby entered the house so neighbors couldn’t see but she huddled in the corner so nobody could creep behind her.  She knew Nouno had to lead and she wanted him to.  Suddenly, there was a yell as a man charged towards Nouno.  Nouno turned and grabbed Abdihakim’s arms alarmed that his right hand held a machete.  Nouno was the same height but 25 pounds heavier than Abdihakim but Abdihakin had the added motivation that he was defending his home.  Nouno managed to turn Abdihakim so his back was to Abby.  Nouno purposely let Abdihakim drive him back a couple steps so he’d be focused on Nouno.  Abby knew what he wanted and she skulked out from the corner and drove a syringe into the back of Abdihakim’s neck rending him unconscious and dropping the machete.

                When Abdihakim woke up, he was in his boxers strapped down to a bed.  He took a deep breath and his body relaxed.  Abby, who was standing over him, was surprised as most people struggled with their restraints or got angry.  Abby inquired, “Do you know why we’re here?”

                “I’m guessing it’s to kill me.”

                “That would be right but do you know why?”

                “Does it matter?”

                “I would think it would to you.”

                “No, not really.  I’m tired of running.  I’m glad it’s finally over.  I don’t really want to live in this world.”

                “What world would that be?  Where it’s frowned upon to molest 13-year-old girls?”

                “No, I’ve always known America was like that.  People here are so soft.”

                “Yea, I mean fucking an 8^th grader is wrong.  Toughen up, you’re doing her a favor right?  Girls should be having their first kiss then not fucking.”

                “Look around little girl, do you like the world you see?”

                “No, the girl you raped was a little girl.  I’m a full grown ass adult. “

                “How old are you?”

                “You never ask a woman that.”

                “You’re going to kill me anyway so what difference does it make?”

                “27”

                “Yea, well I’m 40.  That means you’re just barely old enough for me for it to be socially acceptable.  The formula is half your age plus seven right?  Perfect”

                “You’re 47.  You raped the girl at 40.”

                “Seems like you know a lot about me.”

                “I do.”

                “Well, look around.  You have the entire country shut down because of a virus that only really kills people with serious health problems or are above 65.”

                “We needed to get it under control.”

                “By shutting the economy down?  That’s stupid.  This is the first time in history that people don’t realize that life is about trade-offs.  Nothing is completely safe yet now you get people say that if one life is saved, it’s worth it.  What about the effects of losing your job?  That harms health.”

                “People lose their jobs all the time; they just find new ones.”

                “That’s really naïve.  Losing your job ranks very high on the spectrum of health degrading stressors.  It even ranks higher than the death of a close friend.”

                “This is different.  You know that when the economy opens, you’ll get your job back.”

                “No, you don’t know that.  It could be a whole new world.”

                “People are dying.”

                “Yea, and they die from car accidents and heart disease, cancer, the flu.  Hell, 70,000 people died last year from drug overdose.  That’s like seven times more than the Coronavirus right now but you didn’t hear the elites say anything about that.”

                “That is based on people’s choices.”

                “It wouldn’t be people’s choices to go to the office or continue to dine in restaurants and go out in public despite fears of the Coronavirus?”

                “That harms other people.”

                “People who drink never hurt someone else?  People that get in car accidents never hurt someone else like the person they hit?”

                “That’s different.”

                “No, it’s not.  See, it’s really easy to talk about when it’s not your ass on the line.  You still have your job right?”

                “Yea, my job it’s easy to work from home.”

                “Yea, that’s why you say what you say.”

                “No, I say what I say because it’s the truth.  We need to stop the spread.  This is very contagious and very dangerous.  Alcoholism and drug abuse is not contagious.”

                “You need to understand that you’re choosing between two bad options.  I’m not saying that opening the economy is good; it’s just not as bad as keeping it closed.  People are getting infected anyway even with the shutdown.  States that haven’t shut down don’t have higher contagion rates than states that did.  It’s not working.  When faced with tough decisions, you need to go with the least bad one.”

                “You’re saying that the only question we should ask is how you mitigate a threat with the least possible cost?”

                “Yes”

                “Tell me something; was it worth the trade-off to rape that little girl when you knew you’d be on the run?  Did she rock your world so much that it was worth being strapped to a bed about to be killed?  Did you really choose the least bad option when you made her wet not from the traditional way but because of blood?  Did you enjoy getting your dick wet with blood?  Was all of that worth it?”

                “I didn’t say I always make the right choice.  We are talking about ideally.  I’m only human, I make mistakes.”

                “No, this isn’t about human.  You aren’t human; you’re scum.  Child rapists are the worst people in society.  Don’t you fucking lecture me on making good choices.  You’re here because you made the worst fucking possible choice when you chose to rape that mentally handicapped little girl.  That’s right, I know she was disabled you sick fuck.  Fuck you!” Abby screamed at the end and put on rubber gloves and pulled down his boxers and declared, “I don’t want to get Coronavirus by touching you.”

                She picked up his machete and grabbed his penis in her left hand.  Abdihakim’s eyes widened in horror as he realize what was about to happen.  Abby commented, “You have lost you right to have a penis.” As she slashed the machete against his shaft.

                Abby continued hacking until she removed his scrotum and penis as Abdihakin screamed and begged her not to.  She picked up the organs he misused and drove them into his mouth.  She barked, “Stop screaming like a bitch!”

                Abby taped Abdihakim’s mouth keeping his former body part inside.  She then plugged his nose and shook her head.  “You know guys always tell me that if they could, they would suck their own dick.  You never really hear girls say they want to lick their own pussy.  You should feel lucky that you get the chance.”

                Abby looked over at Nouno who had turned his head.  He hated watching this but that didn’t mean that he didn’t think they deserved it.  Castration was only reserved for child rapists but there seemed to be a lot of those in Minneapolis.  Suddenly, Abdihakim was no longer moaning or squirming and his body was still.  Abby held his nose closed for another minute before releasing.  They wrapped his body and carried it to their car throwing him in the trunk.  Nouno then drove to the crematorium and they broke in.  They loaded Abdihakim on to the machine and turned it on.  As they didn’t want to wait around for the hours long process, they left and drove a little ways and pulled over.  Abby queried, “Is it just me, or did that guy seem too wise to be a bus driver?”

                “Don’t judge someone’s intelligence by their profession.”

                “I know, I’m just saying.”

                “He had life experience.”

                “I suppose.”

                “Wise or not, you got one thing right; he was a piece of shit.”

                “No question.  I was thinking though.  With these conservatives that keep complaining about the economic collapse of the country over this pandemic, how come a pandemic never caused an economic collapse before?”

                “We never reacted to it by shutting down the economy before.”

                “I think this one is pretty bad though.”

                “It doesn’t have a fatality rate higher than all the others we’ve seen; even with the inflated numbers.”

                “Why are they inflated again?”

                “Most tests are done to people who feel sick.  They’re not done as much on the general population.  That, and now they count everything as this.  There’s been a sharp decline in people dying from stroke, heart disease and cancer since they started counting this every day.”

                “Okay, so if it’s not the fatality rate, maybe it’s the information dissemination.  I mean, they didn’t have social media during the 1918 Spanish Flu.”

                “That is what most people think but I’ve been thinking about this.  A lot of viruses do have news that make it around the world and then it comes back.  It still didn’t have catastrophic economic consequences.”

                “They were more prepared the second time around.”

                “Were they though?”

                “Yea, it was old news by then.”

                “Still, it killed like two percent of the world population and then everyone knew it was back.  You’d think people would still be worried yet you didn’t see an impact in the market.”

                “I suppose you’re right.  Maybe it’s globalism and the interconnectedness of global supply.”

                “That does seem like a valid option and I do think that will diminish if things go to normal.  The thing is, though, it can be argued that it’s a lack of globalism.  We relied too much on one provider.  People may argue that multiple countries need to be the suppliers of products in case one gets shut down like this one.”

                “Oil countries do that and they collude.”

                “But oil is cheap”

                “Except when one country gets theirs destroyed.”

                “It doesn’t rise that much.  It’s not like this.”

                “If not globalism, then what?”

                “The policy prescription is the best explanation.  You shut down the economy.  You stopped people from producing things.  There was nothing wrong with the economy before this happened.  When you stop the productivity of a country, then the market has no choice but to collapse.  That’s what caused the panic.  The government forced unemployment to 32%.”

                “That does seem like the most direct affect.  Like you said, though, the economy was strong before this so that means there should be a V-shaped recovery in that we recover really quickly.”

                “The longer we wait to re-open the economy, the harder it will be to get that ‘V.’  The more stimulus packages we put through, especially with New Green Deal and the other shit the Democrats want in it, the less likely that we will.”

                They talked for a while longer and then go back to the crematorium to dispose of the remains.  Afterwards, they go back to the hotel and get some rest.  Before going to bed, Abby exclaims, “You got to be kidding me?”

                “What?”

                “Governor Northum put on a black face mask.”

                Nouno shook his head, “Wow, he just doesn’t learn does he?”

                “Learn what?  He’s still the governor of Virginia.  People forgot about the scandal so he knows it won’t take him down.”

                “Way to resurrect it.”

                “Well, Easter is coming up.”

                Nouno laughed and finished getting ready for bed.  The next day, they were back on a plane that they had all to themselves back to Arizona.  On the plane, Nouno articulates, “Durham has intensified his investigation of John Brennan.”

                “When he doesn’t find anything or says something that you think is really bad but they don’t prosecute him, will you let it go?”

                “No, not at all.  I hate how liberals are above the law.”

                “I knew you’d say that.”

                “You should, I’ve been pretty consistent about that.”

                “What’s he looking into?”

                “The Steele dossier and if it was used in the 2017 assessment that Brennan swore it wasn’t.  He also wants to know why Comey and McCabe insist that it was.  Basically, he’s asking the question if Brennan misled us all about the dossier use.”

                “That is what you wanted to know; to see if he lied to congress or under oath like Flynn and Papadopoulos were accused of.  If they deem he wasn’t, then you have to go with it.”

                “No, I don’t.  I need to see the evidence.  By the way, he didn’t claim that he hadn’t seen the dossier until December 2016 to congress or under oath; it was to Chuck Todd on NBC.”

                “Right, the whole he didn’t need to see the actual dossier because he was talking to Steele.  The little play on words.”

                “I actually listened to the interview the other day.  It turns out he also claims he didn’t know what was on it and it had nothing to do with the intellectual assessment.  Even if it was Steele’s information and he heard it from him; he still had an idea what was in the dossier and used the information in the intellectual assessment.  I don’t think the play on words works anymore.  He straight up lied.”

                “It’s not illegal to lie to a journalist.”

                “True, but it should attack your character and credibility.”

                “I don’t think he has much of either anymore.”

                “Nor do I.  The thing is on Chuck Todd’s show, he constantly talked about how it was the FBI’s job to verify it.”

                “They did and Comey declared it ‘salacious and unverified.’”

                “Yes, and Brennan told Todd that that doesn’t mean it’s untrue.”

                “It kind of does yes.”

                “No, unverified means it could still be true and salacious means having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters.  That could be said about a true statement.”

                Abby sighed and rejoined, “So why do you think he misled the FBI?”

                “FBI lawyer Lisa Page in sworn testimony seemed shocked when Congressman Mark Meadows informed her that Steele was a CIA source too.  She stuttered but got out that she’s not aware of any other sources the CIA had and it would surprise her if they had Steele’s reports in July.  She goes on to say she wasn’t aware of any other sources and it would be unusual for the CIA to not pass that along to them; which they didn’t.”

                “And you believe her?  Even after all the texts back and forth with Strzok about setting this whole thing up?”

                “Yes, because she seemed confused and hesitant.  If this was all part of the plan, she would have been more decisive and forceful in her speech.”

                “I’m sure she realizes that too.”

                “I’m not so sure.”

                “Well, Christopher Steele released a statement that he still stands by what he did and his sources.”

                “That’s funny because his sources told the FBI that Steele lied or misrepresented what they said.  Three Russians that were in the dossier are suing him for defamation now.”

                “See, they do like Trump”

                “Or they don’t like to be falsely accused of committing espionage on the most powerful country in the world.  They may retaliate.”

                “Well, it’s Steele’s word against the Russians.  Who are you going to believe?”

                “Do I have to answer that?”

                Abby laughed and explained, “I’m just saying that they probably need some non-Russians to attack him.”

                “Like British ambassador to Russia Andrew Wood?”

                “Yea, that will work.”

                “He was contacted by Durham.”

                “What is Durham saying he did?”

                “Well, he said he wouldn’t comment further and to see his public statements.  His public statements admit that he told McCain about the dossier and he sent David Kramer to London to get a copy of it.  This was August 2016.  When the FBI was given it, they didn’t realize it came from the same source that gave them the dossier in July.  Due to the fact it came from a Republican, it carried more weight.  Do you know what we call this?”

                “What?” she blurted out with a tone that signified she wasn’t interested.

                “Information laundering.”

                “That’s actually a good name for it.  Money laundering is when you take money obtained in a shady way and mix it with money made in a legitimate way to make it hard to distinguish between the two.  If you have one piece of information and someone wants to give you the same information from another source, it corroborated it.  If you don’t have corroborating evidence, you want to hide the source of the information and mix it with the information garnered legitimately.  By combining the known source information with the information that has no source then both pass as good and corroborating but that’s only because you don’t know that both were from the same source.”

                “That is exactly right.”

                Abby flashed a huge grin that melted Nouno.  They land in Arizona and head back to their home.  Abby ripped her clothes off to her bra and panties and leapt into their swimming pool.  Nouno took the bags inside and unpacked.  It was good to get out of the house but they knew that it wouldn’t take long before they got stir crazy again.  Nobody ever asked about Abdihakim as the country was too occupied with Coronavirus.