It is November 2019 and
California Governor Newsom is looking at a report. There has been a spike in Californians
getting the flu so he declares that California is having an early flu season. Aside from that, he doesn’t give much thought
to it as his primary focus is how to destroy Donald Trump. He has just gotten passed a bill known as ‘AB5,’
which will cripple free lance writers, car-share services, artists, and many
other side hustles that Californians enjoy.
The original intent was to attack Uber and Lyft but the externalities
will be far worse as after the New Year, approximately a million people will
lose their jobs because of this. This is
all good news for Newsom because it will put a dent in President Trump’s
vaunted record low unemployment rate.
Little does he know that AB5 would pale in comparison to what the thing
he overlooked will do to the Donald Trump economy.
In early January, President
Trump issues a travel ban on China because he is concerned about a virus that
had been unleashed in Wuhan, China.
Although the World Health Organization and China say it isn’t a serious
threat and can’t be transmitted from human to human, President Trump is
skeptical. This leads to Democrats to
incessantly attack him for being racist and xenophobic. One by one the politicians in the two bluest
states in the country; California and New York, come out and encourage people
to come to Chinatown as it is safe and downplays the Wuhan Virus.
Over the next two months, the
country will go into a panic over the virus and shut down. Although the amount of things this halted is
innumerable, one is that Attorney General Bill Barr and US Attorney of
Connecticut John Durham can no longer travel the world as they investigate the
origin and the investigation of whether or not President Trump colluded with
Russia to win the 2016 election. Around
the peak of the crisis, Barr goes on Laura Ingraham’s show and calls the
Russian collusion investigations one of the greatest travesties in American history
because they investigated and spied on a president without any basis and did so
solely to sabotage the presidency.
It has been an interesting
couple of years for Bill Barr. When he
was first appointed, he casually took the job.
Given that he had already been attorney general once, it wasn’t too big
of an honor. He had also been the head
of the FBI so he had done enough in politics for a lifetime and would have been
just as content to go about his life never having a high law enforcement
position again. This attitude was
precisely why he was chosen by President Trump to be the Attorney General to
replace the fired Loretta Lynch. Within
months of taking the job, Barr would get confirmation that it would take
someone with no political aspirations to have the job as Speaker of the House
Nancy Pelosi threatened to arrest him and put him in the prisons below the
Capitol Building that hadn’t been used in recent memory. Although supporters of the president were
enraged by this, Barr was amused and when he saw Pelosi he asked if she brought
the hand cuffs. It was then that
liberals realized they were dealing with someone who had no interest or need to
kiss up to anyone. As soon as his
investigation was over, he would ride into the sunset.
Now that it has been a couple years
since Barr took the job, conservatives were beginning to turn on him as
well. They were frustrated that
Republicans and Trump supporters were being arrested left and right for process
crimes and things that the FBI just made up.
All these reports had come out of malfeasance and errors by the FBI yet
people like Mike Flynn were still on trial while Peter Strzok, Lisa Page,
Andrew McCabe, Jim Comey, John Brennan, Jim Clapper and many others that
actually had real evidence against them got away scot free.
Barr’s report was supposed to
come out in the springtime but now that it was April, it was looking like that
wasn’t the case. He did confirm to
Ingraham that it was no longer just about the origins but they expanded the
scope to cover into the Trump presidency in order to refute claims and denials
from the intelligence community that the president was under investigation when
he was no longer ‘president-elect’ Trump.
It doesn’t take too much of an imagination to know that he’s talking
about the Mueller probe but he doesn’t explicitly say that.
After the interview, he goes
back to his team to discuss the case.
Although his team is very familiar with the core of the report, Barr
insists on repetition so it’s second nature to them. He announces, “Okay, so who is the main focus
on the culpability of this?”
“John Brennan” comes a
collective voice about the former head of the CIA.
“What do we think about his
claim that the origin was based on a mosaic of information?”
“Completely false; it was all based
on Steele’s dossier.” A man fires back
“So that’s the CIA angle but
does that absolve the FBI?”
“Well, Comey called it a corpus of
intelligence so that’s the same lie.”
“What about the claim that the
CIA lied to the FBI so the FBI was fooled just like the FISA court was?”
A woman in the group answers,
“In January 2017, the FBI interviewed Steele’s sources and they all denied what
Steele had said. There were some things
they claim Steele just made up that they said and others that he exaggerated and
misrepresented. After those interviews,
there is no more plausible deniability for the FBI as they renewed the FISA
three more times knowing it was based on a false document.”
The first man added on, “Like
Brennan said, it was the FBI’s job to vet and verify the information and in the
process of them doing so, they knew it was false but went with it anyway.”
The woman retorted, “Brennan is lying
about that. He included the dossier
information in the president’s daily briefing.
The CIA doesn’t go around peddling unverified information. Like we said, Brennan is the most culpable
for this.”
Barr interrupted, “Let’s just
suffice it to say that they are both culpable.”
The meeting adjourns and Barr is
in his office privately reflecting on the case.
One of the things that most infuriates conservatives is that President
Trump has given him the power to declassify any documents he wants. He has yet to use that power but now he’s
considering whether or not it’s time. He
sighs and calls Inspector General Horowitz.
He starts, “Good evening inspector general, how are you today?”
“I’m doing as well as I can
be. This Coronavirus has everyone on
edge.”
“Yes, but our work is one of the
few in this country that does continue.”
“Of course sir.”
“I wanted to let you know that
I’m going to declassify the footnotes in your report last year.”
“Which ones?”
“That ones about Steele and his
Russian sources.”
“Are you sure you want to do
that sir? The British may be very upset
with you as it embarrasses one of their former MI6 agents. You and I both know that it clearly shows he
was duped in a Russian disinformation campaign.”
“It is with that knowledge that
I have hesitated this long but I need a definitive answer to submit to the
American people about what percentage of the dossier was completely fabricated
by Steele and what was an active plot by Russian disinformation artists.”
“With the tension with China
right now over Covid19, are you sure you want to risk angering the Russians and
the British?”
“There is a new British Prime
Minister right now of the opposing party as the one that oversaw England when
Steele was up to his antics. From what I
hear, he is off the ventilator and recovering from his bout with Covid19 so I
don’t think that will be an issue. As
for the Russians, given what they did to our country, I really don’t care what
they think.”
“Just between you and me, there
are some things I don’t understand.”
“I’ll do my best to answer but
keep in mind there are things I can’t reveal to you.”
“I understand that. It’s nothing major but our investigations do
have overlap. When I saw the interview
with Bill Priestap and pressed him on the Russian’s motives he couldn’t answer
the question as to why the Russians wanted to denigrate Hillary Clinton and
favor Donald Trump. Do you have any
answer to that?”
“I’m a little concerned that
Priestap was one of the highest ranking officials in the FBI and hasn’t figured
that out after all this time.”
“In fairness, neither have I.”
“The Russians didn’t favor
President Trump. They wanted chaos. Between Skolkovo and paying $ 500,000 for
Bill Clinton to give a speech in Russia while Hillary was Secretary of State,
they had a lot of dirt on her. If she
won, that’s what everyone would have been talking about but since she lost,
people talked about this.”
“How sure are you of this?”
“Even Fiona Hill testified to
this during the impeachment of the president.
If someone that hates the president admits this then it helps with the
credibility as there is an incentive for them to deny this.”
“Like all the other haters of
the President have done.”
“Yes”
“The more I look into this, the
more I’m believing that there are only two options. Either the FBI and CIA were completely and
utterly politically biased against Trump that they justified advancing
information they knew to be false or they are really stupid and gullible. I’m having trouble finding a third option.”
“I haven’t been able to find one
in my investigation either and I assure you Durham feels the same way.”
“That’s scary to think.”
“It is, but back to the reason I
called. Consider yourself warned and I
do expect full cooperation from your office with this.”
“Of course I will not inhibit
you in any way but I just want to get it on the record that this new
information will give the public clear information that the highest levels of
our FBI lied to them and will fracture the bond and trust the American people
have with our law enforcement.”
“I’m afraid that damage has
already been done. Your opposition is
duly noted but I do need to go forward with this.”
“Yes sir.”
“You have a good night.”
“You too and stay safe.”
“You as well.”
Not too far away from Barr’s
office, the Capitol Building is abuzz as they are in negotiations to pass phase
four of the Coronavirus bill. Senate
Majority leader Mitch McConnell has taken the initial 4 Trillion dollar bill
and condensed it to $250 Billion as it only includes aid to small businesses
and doesn’t contain the Green New Deal riders the Democrats had put forth. Just like with phase 3, negotiations were
going very well until the Speaker of the House, who is not a member of the
Senate, blocked it. This caused a
stalemate that pushed the aid back four days.
Senate minority leader Chuck
Schumer calls Pelosi and poses, “Nancy, my state is getting hammered by this
shut down and the virus. 34% of all the nation’s cases are in my state; our
businesses really need this aid.”
“Chuck, that’s what you said for
phase 3 and look at all the riders I got through for the Kennedy Center, water
in Utah, Forrest fire protection and many other things that had nothing to do
with the virus. I did it once, I can do
it again.”
“What was your problem with the
bill?”
“It was on a first come first
serve basis. We can’t have that. We need to virtue signal the minorities and
add identity politics into this. Think
of the end game; we need to oust Trump in the election so we need to curry
favor with the minorities.”
“They already vote
overwhelmingly in our favor.”
“That is less true now than
ever. Blexit has really hurt our base so
we need to keep beating it home that they need us. This virus is the best thing that could have
ever happened to us.”
“Tell that to all my dead
constituents.”
“Don’t you see Chuck? Our states were on the verge of bankruptcy
before this crisis. This is our chance
to get a federal bailout. The numbers
are tapering off as the models completely overestimated this. We can get the money that the models indicate
we needed and use all the extra money to fund our personal endeavors.”
“We did that in Phase 3”
“That’s called a proof of
concept. That’s how I know I can do it
again in Phase 4. The President is under
enormous pressure, he will cave again just like he did in the two omnibus bills
and Phase 3.”
“You are playing a dangerous
game. Even CNN and NBC are turning on
us.”
Pelosi’s tone turned serious,
“What do you mean?”
“They ran headlines that the
Senate Democrats blocked the Coronavirus bill to help small businesses.”
“What the fuck? Shit, why didn’t you tell me this
earlier? Why didn’t you call them when
you found out? You’re wasting your time
with me questioning something that I proved I was right about two weeks
ago. I got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Pelosi didn’t even wait for Schumer
to hang up. She immediately called the
editors of CNN and NBC. Schumer and many
other Democrats did the same and it didn’t take long for them to change their
headlines to read that both the Republicans and Democrats blocked the bill and
they were at a stalemate. The change didn’t go unnoticed as conservatives
broadcasted it all over their platforms to show how the media wasn’t even
hiding that they were propaganda arms of the Democrat party and are ruled by
them.
Also in New York, Hillary Clinton
has her feet kicked up on her desk in her home.
There is a cigar in her mouth and she is smiling as the state she lives
in gets the worst of the pandemic. She
utters to her husband Bill, “We finally did it.
We finally tricked Trump into doing something stupid.”
“Technically it was the
governors that shut down.”
“Yea, but the president was on
record urging them to do so. Now, his
top expert, Dr. Fauci, has lowered his scenario from 100,000 dead to 60,000.”
“Yes, and then when people
attack the models, we can just claim victory.”
“It’s weird. This failed time and time again with Climate
Change as nobody went into Draconian overexaggerated policy mode based on those
models. Then, when we use the same models
for a virus, everyone falls for it. It’s
the same trick.”
“Well, people have been touting
the flu numbers. 60,000 is right in the
range of people who normally die from the flu.”
“It doesn’t matter, the damage
has been done. Even the hero Dewine had
to lower his estimates from 160,000 to like 1,600”
“We got most states on
board. Both the right and the left are
criticizing anyone that doesn’t shut down but the adjustment in the models is
giving the fringe conservatives that have been criticizing the lock down from
the start ammunition.”
“It doesn’t matter. They lost.
Like you said, we explain away the models that our social distancing and
shut down worked. Just how between Inconvenient Truth and An Inconvenient Sequel, the polar bear
population, a focus in the first one, had increased by six times by the sequel
so Gore didn’t mention it. Whenever
someone points it out, Gore claims victory that since he raised awareness,
efforts like the Paris Accords were made and we saved the polar bears.”
“People know that the world
didn’t follow those accords and Trump pulled out.”
“It didn’t stop us from claiming
victory and still many people believe us.
Now, we actually did drastic actions so of course they’re going to
believe us now.”
“Those models factored in 100%
social distancing though.”
“People are too dumb to realize
that. They believe what we tell them to
believe.”
The phone rings and Hillary sees
that it’s Nancy Pelosi. She answers,
“Hello, Nancy.”
“Hello Hillary. How are you?”
“I’m doing great. Good job for blocking that bill. We need to get funding for liberal causes.”
“Yea, I can’t believe Schumer
almost fell for it again. I just yelled
at him and then I had to yell at the media.
It’s like we’ve been losing so long, we’re forgetting what it’s like to
win.”
“Well, I haven’t forgotten. You want to know what winning looks
like? JP Morgan just published a report
about the economy contracting by 40% and unemployment hit 20%. You thought you were so good when you raised
it from 3.5% to 3.6% with AB5.”
“Yea, and then the next month,
Trump got it back to 3.5%”
“So, we called our friends the
Chinese and voila, 20%! Run on that
jackass!”
“Honestly, this couldn’t have
worked out any better for us; especially me.”
“Yea, your state is mostly tech
and Silicon Valley people. They have no
problem working from home.”
“But all those blue collar, coal
miners that keep complaining that we want to eliminate their jobs are being
laid off en masse and it’s all being done under a President Trump
administration. Just how the SALT
deductions only affected liberal states like California, New York and Illinois,
we turned the table and issued a pandemic that only affects blue collar
manufacturing people that Trump disproportionally helped over the last three
years. They enjoyed their 6% wage rates,
which was double than the top income bracket and the income inequality was
shrinking. Well, how does that feel now when we let China make your income 0?”
“They should have thought of
that before they embarrassed Biden forcing him to challenge one to a fight.”
“We do need to talk to him about
that.”
“Yea, that’s why Barack hasn’t
endorsed him yet and he’s the only nominee left!”
“It feels good to stick it to
the blue-collar workers. They always
think they’re so important but they’re just dumb people. We need them from the neck down but lately
they’ve wanted to think.”
“Yea, but they got what was
coming to them.”
“Honestly, I’m really surprised
at how well this pandemic has gone for us; especially me.”
“Yea, California has really been
spared the brunt of this.”
“New York has half our
population and 14 times the cases.”
“I know, I’ve seen the numbers.”
“Yea, a new study says that we
may have gotten a herd immunity since so many Chinese people had flown here;
even from Wuhan.”
“Well, you did have that early
flu season in November.”
“Yea, we think that it was
actually a mild case of this but it gave our population the antibodies. They are confirming it now.”
“Don’t publicize that too
much. We want it to be that you shut
down and implemented shelter-in-place and social distancing precautions.”
“Don’t worry I know; but New
York only followed our policy three days after we did. It’s hard to justify the difference in our
numbers from just three days.”
“Don’t let the truth get in the
way of a good story.”
“You’re preaching to the choir
on that one.”
“There’s just one thing that
isn’t going so well for us.”
“The 20 or so states that didn’t
shut down.”
“Yea, we can’t have anything
challenge our narrative. There can be no
opportunity for people to compare states that closed down vs. states that
didn’t as it devastates our case and hurts our authoritative narrative.”
“We have contingencies. We just tell people that nobody lives in
those states. For something like South
Dakota, it’s believable.”
“Doesn’t matter; we can’t give
scientists a control group.”
“We are constantly putting
pressure on them to follow suit. There’s
not much more we can do.”
“You can do what they did in
England; guilt private sector people.
Tell them that their selfishness in going to work puts public sector
jobs like subway drivers at risk because they have to go to work and risk their
lives for them.”
“Public transportation isn’t too
popular in South Dakota.”
“Yes, but you let the people in
the cities, where most of them live, know that if someone goes to work, then
they are selfish assholes putting the poor little public sector workers’ lives
in danger.”
“Are you saying that public
sector lives are more important the private sector lives?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying
and that is what every sheep that stays home will be saying too; though they
won’t realize it.”
“It is a minor hiccup. My phase 3 bill giving furloughed employees
100% of their salary will inhibit them from going back to work. We finally created a welfare state just like
Europe. Now, they will be begging us for
the scraps from our table as we constantly remind them of Covid19 and why they
need us!”
“I don’t mean to minimize your
work but now is not the time to rest on your laurels. There is one more loose end and that’s the
states that haven’t shut down. Tell them
that your models suggest that they will be the next epicenter. This disease hurts
diabetic people and the Midwest is all obese people so that will make it a
believable story.”
“I got this under control
Hillary. Nobody is resting here. I flew back from California to get Phase 3
passed the way I want it. I’m doing the
work and I have no intention of slowing down.”
“Good, you’ve been a good ally
in this. Thank you.”
“Of course.”
With that, the conversation
ends. Hillary Clinton then calls the New
York Times’ Maggie Haberman. She answers
the phone, “Yes Ma’ame.”
“Hi, Maggie.”
“What can I do for you?”
“I want you to write an article
saying that because of Covid19, we can’t ever have in-person voting again.”
“We have been saying that and
the conservatives keep talking about how easy it is to defraud mail-in voting.”
“Then release a statement saying
it’s extremely rare.”
“I would but we wrote an article
in 2012 saying that mail-in votes are less likely to be counted. In fact, it was twice as likely for a mail-in
vote to be lost than it was for an in-person vote. Two percent of mail-in ballots are never
counted and hit a dead end.”
“Nobody remember 2012. Back then, people were talking about the end
of the world because the Mayans said so.”
“Conservatives have done a good
job of finding old articles to discredit us.
I’m going to look retarded if I come out.”
“When have my enormous media
conglomerate army and my mob also known as the IRS and DOJ not had your back?”
“Never” Maggie replied timidly
“Then do as I say!”
“Yes Ma’ame” she rejoined
defeated.
“If you’re nervous about it,
play the racial card.”
“How do I do that?”
“Say what we always do; that
blacks and Hispanics are too dumb to know how to vote in person so if you
attack mail-in voting, you’re a racist that hates blacks, Hispanics and the
poor.”
“I’ll soften the language up a
bit but yea, I think that’ll work.”
“Of course it’ll work. It always works especially with the momentum
we have now.”
Hillary gets off the phone
frustrated. She can’t believe that
people are failing to realize that the general public doesn’t have the same
information and knowledge that her and her cronies do. The conservatives have a very limited reach
and now that people know people that died from the Wuhan Virus, nobody is
listening to them. Her phone rings again
and she takes a deep breath. On the
phone is the only person that can claim to have the same power over the
Democrats as she does. She clicks the
‘accept’ button and Barack Obama’s voice comes on the line, “Aloha Hillary.”
“I take it you’re not in
Martha’s Vineyard in your multi-million dollar home.”
“No, I’m in Hawaii where they
have one of the lowest numbers of cases in the country.”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
“I bet Bill is really happy with
the economic news that came out.”
“There are so many good ones I’m
not sure which you are referring to.”
“The national debt has just
surpassed $24 Trillion”
“I hadn’t seen that but after
spending two trillion, I figured we were close.”
“This is going to be the most
predictable bankruptcy in American history and yet nobody sees it coming.”
“Well, although we are
politicians, you know as well as I do that they’re all a bunch of
self-absorbed, self-interested assholes.”
“Yes, but some of us know how to
play the game and profit over the destruction of the country.”
“Too many people think it’s only
about the money. That’s nice but the
power is so much better and more rewarding.”
“Indeed.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t
replenish the Federal stock piles of M-95 masks after the H1N1 epidemic in
2011.”
“I know. Could you imagine that piece of shit Trump coming
to the rescue with those? His poll
numbers have already gone up but that would have really made him shine.”
“Everyone is always worried
about the present that they don’t bother to prepare for the future. It’s always the mentality that we’ll just
tackle that problem if it comes up so there’s no need to prepare.”
“Kind of like how New York
auctioned off their stock pile of ventilators in 2012 because they didn’t want
to spend the money to maintain them.”
“Yea, they’re regretting that
now.”
“Do you think that maybe this
pandemic will open their eyes?”
“No. Between the housing bubble that was blatantly
obvious and getting rid of emergency stockpiles of supplies, people never
learn. All the signs of the American
bankruptcy have been around for years. That’s why Bill faked the surplus. We’ve been warning about this for 20 years,
and nobody does anything. Americans
think that they couldn’t possibly be like Venezuela, Japan or Argentina. Only in America, will the economic collapse
be slow and gradual.”
“Just how Bear Stearns and
Leyman Brothers went out of business gradually.
It wasn’t like an overnight thing where the entire financial sector just
burst and collapsed.” Hillary’s voice had heavy sarcasm.
“And when it does, we’ll be
right there to institute 80s style interest rates. Then, they’ll have no choice but to print
money and skyrocket inflation. With the
mass unemployment that follows, who will they turn to?”
“Big Brother and Big Sister
government; us.”
“We’re finally almost there.”
“We just need to stay vigilant
and make it so that Trump can’t rebound the economy.”
“Nancy has done a good job with
that with overspending in the stimulus bills.”
“I just spoke to her. She has her head on right.”
“I didn’t speak to her and I
know that.”
“True”
“Well, I’m going to get
going. We’ll have a nice expensive
bottle of champagne when Trump loses the election because his precious economy
is in ruins. We’ll drink another bottle
when America declares bankruptcy.”
“Thank you China”
“Yes. Thank you Shi Zenghali”
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