Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 45 World Fears the Fall of America

                Fanis and Kera are back in their flat in England.  After a brief respite in Greece as the Coronavirus raged, they were back to their international travel as Kera, an international Chinese Art dealer, doesn’t do business in the United States.  Luckily for them, Kera had a private plane and was well versed in skirting international travel laws.  As Kera’s bodyguard, Fanis goes wherever she goes.

                Fanis is still depressed because he loves sports but will be unable to watch any because of the pandemic known as the ‘Wuhan Virus.’  Kera approaches him and if Fanis would’ve been looking at her, he may have realized the dire expression on her face.  She starts, “Umm, Fanis?”

                “Yes”

                “We need to talk”

                “About what?”

                “Well, ummm, how are you feeling about this thing now.”

                “I hate it.  I feel like this is the end of the world.  I know you’re an anti-American liberal but like it or not the world economy runs on one engine and that engine is the United States economy.  With the passing of that stimulus bill, America has been shoved off a fiscal cliff.  Now, they’re talking about another one, which will really put a nail in the coffin.  Now we’re going to have negative interest rates like they do in Europe.  The two things I love most; travelling and hugs I can’t do now.  I had a death wish before because of personal reasons but now I really don’t think I belong in this world.  To be honest, I’ve never wanted to die more than I do now since I was unemployed and had trouble finding a job.”

                Most people would have been empathetic to an overt basic admission of suicidal thoughts but not only was Kera one of the coldest people Fanis had ever met, she had listened to her cousin give similar rants for 18 years.  In fact, it was because he had these thoughts that Kera hired him as her bodyguard and spent a lot of money getting him militarily trained rather than hiring an already trained bodyguard.  There were other reasons but these were some of the main ones.  It’s because of this, she responded, “Well, I’m glad you said that because we are leaving.”

                Fanis turned toward her for this, “It must be pretty bad.  Normally you’re just like ‘pack your shit, we’re leaving.’  I don’t get this nice hesitant calm voice.  Normally you’re just barking orders.”

                “You’d understand if I told you where we were going.”

                “Are you going to tell me?”

                “Hong Kong”

                “You know I can’t protect you from the Wuhan Virus right?”

                “Yes, I do know that.  That is why I made an agreement with the client that he has to provide us with Hydroxychloroquine, Zinc, and Azithromycin tablets.”

                “How many?”

                “Enough to take 200mg for five days”

                “For each of us or just you?”

                Kera rolled her eyes, “Both of us obviously”

                “Why is that obvious? I established I had a death wish and you started this conversation making sure I still thought that way.”

                “I don’t want you to die.  I have trust issues and if you die, I’ll never be able to be as comfortable with putting my life in someone’s hands as I am yours.”

                Fanis smiled as it wasn’t lost on him that Kera didn’t say she trusted him.  He knew this to be the case since she didn’t trust anybody but neither did Fanis so it would have been hypocritical to fault someone for it.  He replied, “The whole point is for me to die for you if the situation calls for it.  What’s to stop him from just putting saline tablets in a container labeled that?”

                “You forget that I’m heavily involved in China.  I have a lot of connections and let’s just say I’m having my people verify it for me.  As you know, Hong Kong and China don’t really like each other too much.  Also, the point is not for you to die for me; the point is for you to stop anyone from hurting me.  Your dying for me is the last resort.  The point is for you to incapacitate anyone that tries to hurt me.  It’s better if you win the fight.”

                “I actually think the Chinese unleashed this virus to stomp the Hong Kong protests.”

                “Right, so Hong Kong believes that shit too so a Chinese person isn’t going to lie for a Hong Kong guy.”

                “I guess that’s about as much of corroboration as you’re going to get.”

                With that, they go to the air strip and head towards Hong Kong.  On the plane, Fanis is looking at news and shakes his head, “That fucking bitch is at it again?”

                “Pelosi?”

                “Yup”

                “What now?”

                “She’s having informal discussions to begin with a 9/11 style commission on Coronavirus response.  The panel is almost all Democrats.”

                “She’s setting up to impeach Donald Trump again.  I mean his approval rating went up the first time.  I’m not sure if that’ll work.”

                “The first time she was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures.  Now that it failed, she’s even more desperate and liberals have no creativity so they keep trying what just failed.  It’s like how they sue people.  They just keep doing it knowing that they constantly have to waste money to defend themselves and eventually they get sick of spending the money.”

                “This is different because people are spending their time and frustration that will show up in the voter booths.”

                “Let’s hope so.”

                “What do you mean ‘9/11-style panel?”

                “What did he know and when did he know it?”

                “Oh, so they’re not comparing Covid19 to 9/11”

                “Oh no, don’t worry they’re doing that too.  There are already media reports that more people are dying from the Wuhan Virus than 9/11”

                “How can you compare a pandemic to a terrorist attack?”

                “Beats me!  These are your people; you tell me.”

                “I’m a Democrat, I’m not a journalist.”

                “Same thing”

                “No, that’s just fucking crazy.”

                “Obviously!  They have nothing to do with one another.”

                “What’s their end game?”

                “Ted Lieu was nice enough to tell us.  He mentioned on MSNBC that it’s Trump and Fox News’ fault that the Wuhan Virus hurt America so bad because Fox gave false information, which caused a public threat.”

                “Public threat?  As in, the exception to the first amendment.”

                “Right, they are going to use this to have legislation to censor Fox and ban free speech for conservatives.”

                “I’m not opposed to that.”

                “Of course you’re not but it’s hilarious that the people that brought you the Russian collusion hoax, the Ukraine hoax and talked about Trump’s tax returns only to find out that he gave more money to charity than all of MSNBC combined is pontificating about false information causing public detriment.  They held the country hostage for three years because of their hoaxes and cost us tens of millions of dollars.  Not to mention, while the Wuhan Virus was wreaking havoc in China and Europe and President Trump acted with the travel ban, they were too busy with impeachment.  If there’s blood on anyone’s hands, it’s Schiff, Nadler and Pelosi.”

                “Don’t make the same mistake that they did.  Back then, nobody knew the extent of the threat so they all reported on it wrongly because they acted on information they had that was proven to be inaccurate later.”

                “Yes, because the Chinese lied about the severity of the virus to the WHO (World Health Organization) and the media trusted the WHO and repeated their narrative that was told to them by China. China lied, people died.”

                “Our livelihoods depend on China”

                “Yea, that makes me a little nervous”

                “They’ve contained it.”

                “That’s what they say but I don’t believe them.”

                “Please don’t bait me.  You know how much I love Chinese culture and China.”

                “I’m not attacking the culture, the country or the people, I’m attacking their government.”

                “Let’s just change topics please.”

                They land in Hong Kong and are put in an apartment that belongs to the client as hotels are closed.  Kera has a mask and gloves on but Fanis only has a mask as he doesn’t really like wearing the gloves.  He immediately washes his hands and a woman comes in full Hazmat gear and gives them the keys along with a brief synopsis of the area.  Kera puts her hand up and declares, “I’ve been here several times, I know where I’m going.”

                Kera takes the keys and immediately rubs disinfectant on them.  Kera and Fanis expect the woman to leave but she doesn’t.  Kera states, “We’re okay, you can go home.”

                “No, I’m not allowed.  There are curfew laws.  We’re not allowed to go outside.  Don’t worry, I won’t bother you.  I just stay in my room.”

                Fanis exclaimed, “Nonsense, we can’t go out to the bars or get some MAK noodles, so do you have any alcohol here?”

                “Yes, I do in fact.”

                “Would you like to drink with us?”

                “I’d love to.”

                The woman’s name is Angela and Fanis is positive that that’s just the name she tells Americans or western people.  Angela asks, “How is America right now?”

                “We’re in trouble.”

                “Yea, I heard.  The death toll keeps climbing.  New York especially got hit.”

                “I’m more concerned with the after effects”

                “What do you mean?”

                Angela pours them all a drink as she had a wide variety in the house.  Fanis answers, “There’s three reasons we’re in trouble.  The first, liberals are openly advocating big government power.”

                “Well, that’s the norm over here.”

                “And you were protesting that before this all started.”

                “Yea, and waving American flags.  It would be bad if you abandoned that policy.”

                “I agree.  The next is that they want to start a new baseline for government spending.”

                “This seems to be above my comprehension.”

                “Like you said, New York was hit really badly.  Florida, however, was not hit that hard.  The Governor of Florida hasn’t shut down and liberals are pissed at him because they want this to prove why we need the government.”

                “You don’t think you need them?”

                “No, I don’t even like the shut down in New York but I’m in a minority on that.”

                “What does that have to do with spending?”     

                “That was the first point.  The spending part is the last bill they passed was way too much money.  We spend two thirds of what we spent all year last year on that package alone.  I admit that most of it was legitimate but there was a lot of superficial spending in there that wasted money.  I’m hoping that President Trump doesn’t make the same mistake he did on that bill and will veto this new one coming up for even more money.”

                “Doesn’t’ it make sense to see what effect the first bill has?’

                “it’s actually the third, but yes that does make sense but liberals pull the same bullshit they always pull and claim ‘If we wait, then it’ll be too late.’  Meanwhile if they don’t get wasted extra money for their special interests, they will delay the bill.  They are fucking hypocrites.”

                Kera interjected, “What my wonderful cousin doesn’t understand is that these are loans that will be paid back.  It’s just a temporary thing to get through this.  When the crisis is over, then we’ll cut them.”

                “Forgive my dear cousin as she is young and naïve (Kera was 33 while Fanis was 36), she knows full well that if we try to cut these budgets and spending, liberals and the media will scream ‘Draconian cuts’ and throw a hissy fit.  That’s what I mean by a ‘new baseline.’  They want people to get used to this being the budget rather than the previous, much lower, number.”

                “Then you’re in trouble not because of the health or the number of people that die but what it will do to the economy and society.”

                “Correct and I’m not even at the last reason.”

                “I’m afraid to ask.”

                “They want us to be used to the suppression of free speech.”

                “People in Hong Kong have been used to that for a while now.”

                “Yes, and you were protesting against it before China unleashed this plague on the world.”

                “What does people dying from a pandemic have anything to do with free speech?”

                “Now that we know how serious the virus is, they’re going to blame people who didn’t know at the beginning for thinking that the flu was worse.”
                “They didn’t know though.  China lied to them because they tried to cover it up.”

                “I know that.  You know that.  Actually, the liberals know that too but they’re going to lie and pretend it was only the right saying that so they will advocate for them to be banned from social media.”

                Kera shouted, “Oh come on! Hyperbole!”

                “No, fact.  See liberals love blaming people for what they’re guilty of.  They have no principles so they always contradict themselves.”

                “Do you have an example?”

                “Any issue really but let’s take Joy Reid of MSNBC.  First, she said that Trump was acting like a monarch or dictator with his travel ban from China as it was an overreaction to the virus.  Now that it’s killing Americans, she claims he under-reacted and didn’t use his authority enough.  Now, she’s back calling him a monarch and tyrant because he considered quarantining the states with the highest cases like New York and New Jersey.  She referred to it as expanding power under the guise of national security, which of course the left does on a daily basis.”

                She refilled their glasses and Fanis noticed that as the conversation progressed, her drinking got quicker.  Despite how often he travelled, he always forgot that the rest of the world realizes what Americans don’t; America is the last best hope for civility in the world.  If they fall, then evil will triumph throughout the world so when things are looking down there, it has major implication for the rest of the world.  Due to this, Fanis changed the topic to small talk and the tension eased.  After a few drinks, Angela went to her room and Fanis and Kera went to bed as well. 

                The next day, Fanis and Kera dawn their masks and gloves and walk.  They avoid using the subway or a cab because they are nervous.  Hong Kong is a layered city and there are outdoor escalators to take you to the next level of the sidewalk as you’re walking.  The sidewalk doesn’t always go straight as sometimes your location requires going up an escalator and then backtracking at the higher level.  Despite how confusing it sounds, it has a certain intuitive logic to it that Fanis, who normally has no sense of direction, could make sense of.  This maze is only true for central, or the middle of the city.  The outskirts and outer layers are built more like western cities and is where the tourists congregate when there are tourists.  Due to this, food and anything is about three times more expensive in that area than in Central.  In Central, you get better quality of food for literally a fraction of the price.  When people talk about how expensive Hong Kong is, it’s people who didn’t go to Central and stayed in the tourist area.  Usually these sidewalks were packed with people but it was deserted in a way that Kera had never seen and she had been to Hong Kong countless times.  It was very eerie.  They go to their destination and Kera went inside to negotiate while wearing a mask and gloves.

                Fanis remains outside and sees that security is still out for the building or the client.  He waves and says ‘hi”

                “Hi, are you American?”

                “Yes I am.”

                The security guard isn’t wearing a mask so Fanis pulls his down as well.  The guard asks, “I know most people are focused on this Wuhan Virus, but do you know anything about this report about the way the FBI spies on people?”

                “Yes, it’s called a ‘FISA’ and the guy doing the investigating is Inspector General Michael Horowitz.”

                “What was that about?”

                “Well, liberals kept telling us that the FISA on President Trump’s campaign member, Carter Page, was a rare case where they cut corners and didn’t go through the proper procedure.  Horowitz took 29 other FISA warrants to test that theory.  All FISA’s have to go through a “Woods Procedure” which is they check with the intelligence agencies of the United States, Canada, England, Australia and New Zealand to vet the information to make sure it’s valid.  It turns out that three of the 29 never even bothered to do the Woods procedure, another they said they did it but couldn’t find it.  As for the other 25, all of them had Wood’s procedures that determined they were inadequately supported but they went through with it anyway.”

                “Basically, they abused their power in every case.”

                “Yes”

                “They’re in big trouble then.”

                “Oh no, the media is running interference for them.  The New York Times reaction to this was to attack conservatives for thinking that Carter Page was a rarity as the FBI always fraudulently spies on people so Carter Page wasn’t a specific targeting but the FBI doing what the FBI does.”

                “How is that any better?  If anything, that’s worse.”

                “Yes, I agree and so did everyone on social media as they went after the New York Times hard; so bad, in fact, that they edited the article and just mentioned it comes at a time when they’re reviewing whether or not they still should be able to use the FISA courts to spy on people.”

                “After this, it should be an emphatic ‘no.’

                “Yes, it should but it won’t be because the deep state is real in America.”

                “Now that it’s settling in, if the FISA findings prove anything it’s that it is easy to politically target someone using the FISA.  It’s almost like if they want to politically target someone, they know they can’t use the courts because their evidence sucks so they might as well use the FISA court.”

                “Bingo; the New York Times was too stupid to realize that’s what they were really saying.  Since nobody checks the Woods file, they can use it to illegally spy on people.”

                “Trust me, Hong Kong knows all about surveillance.  China is the biggest surveillance country in the world.  Our protest was about them unfairly monitoring us and punishing us for things their cameras pick up.”

                “See, that’s what I thought but the woman I was staying with said it was about free speech.”

                “It was mostly being spied on but when they threatened to use force to stop the protest, it started becoming a free speech issue.”

                Kera walked out of the meeting looking frustrated.  As a rule, Fanis didn’t ask about the details of what she did but he could tell when meetings went well or not and this one hadn’t.  Usually, he would recommend going for a drink but everything was closed so he just knew this is what he had to deal with.  They walk back toward Angela’s house and Kera reads a text from her revealing that she cooked for them.  This excites the both of them as restaurants are closed.  As they were walking, a man came sprinting up the street, which was kind of impressive because it was a steep street so he was running uphill.  He reaches out and grabs Kera’s purse in stride.  Unfortunately, Kera was wise to this trick so she had her purse tied to her wrist.  Fortunately for Kera, Fanis also knew this trick so grabbed on to the 5’5” lean woman and added his 6’ 225 lbs for stability.  Fanis shook his head and scolded, “Man, don’t you know that it would have been more effective to be running downhill?”

                “Not when I have this” as he pulls a knife out

                The man still had his hand on the purse and Fanis calmly ordered, “Let go of the bag.”

                “Untie it” he barked at Kera

                “No, she’s not going to do that.  Trust me, you’re going to want to let go of the bag for it will not end well for you.”

                “You Americans always think you’re so tough.  Just wait till Pelosi puts in the phase 4 Wuhan Virus stimulus package.  She’s going to bail out liberal and progressive states.”

                “I’m well aware that she wants to reverse SALT to help all the millionaires in California and New York with Phase 4.  I hope President Trump vetoes it but I don’t think he will.”

                Kera was still pulling on her bag a little irritated that Fanis hadn’t done anything yet.  She decided she’d remind him she was still there by inquiring, “What was SALT?”

                “You can only declare $10,000 in property taxes so if you pay more than that, then you can’t deduct the rest from your taxes.  It raised like 2.8 Billion dollars for the government but had almost no effect for anyone making under 100,000 dollars.”

                “But, Democrats want to tax the rich and lower taxes for the poor.”

                “No, they don’t.  They just say that but they never actually do that.  Pelosi’s district is San Francisco, the highest cost of living city in the United States.  It helps her people most if you get rid of SALT.  That’s what made SALT such a brilliant move by President Trump.  He exposed the liberals for the hypocritical frauds they are.  He’s like, ‘oh California, New York and Chicago multi-millionaire liberals say they don’t mind paying more in taxes; fine, we’ll pass a law that only affects them but doesn’t affect the rich people in other states.  It was absolutely brilliant.”

                “That’s enough chit chat, give me the bag!”

                “No, you’re still going to have to let go.”

                The thief swung the knife toward Fanis who grabbed his arm with his left hand stopping the blade.  Fanis then clicked the spring unleashing his spring-assisted blade and jammed it into the thief’s right armpit that was holding the bag.  He dropped the bag and his knife and Fanis kicked the knife away.  He calmly uttered, “I told you that you should have let go of the bag.  By the way, the first rule in weapons fighting is not to let your opponent know you have a weapon till after you attacked him with it.”

                Kera had already run off and the thief barreled into Fanis.  Fanis was kicking himself because as the thief was reacting to being stabbed, Fanis didn’t circle around him so the thief no longer had the higher ground.  This caused Fanis to roll more than he would have normally as the steep street aided in exacerbating his fall.  With all the rolling, Fanis dropped his knife as well. The thief had him pinned down and unleashed a couple punches to Fanis’ face.  “Now, I teach you trick or two.”

                Fanis gripped the thief’s shirt and sat up slightly only to roll back and lift his leg flipping the thief over his head and landing on his back.  This time, the steep street benefited Fanis as the thief rolled more than he should.  Since Fanis was still on the ground so hadn’t rolled, he now had the higher ground.  He ran toward the thief who was up on all fours and delivered a kick to his temple in stride.  There was more tumbling and Fanis noticed that there was a van toward the bottom of the hill.  A man was coming out of the van with his arms out in surrender trying to gather what seemed to be his friend.  Fanis looked from where they started and at the van and wondered what was the plan.   Did the thief plan to grab the bag then reverse direction and run back down the hill to the van?  That didn’t seem like a very good plan but some criminals are stupid.  Fanis waited for the friend to not be focused on him as if signaling that he wasn’t going to hurt him.  This was false as the second the driver’s attention was on his friend, Fanis sprinted downhill, wound his arm back and made a fist ensuring that his arm was completely straight from his elbow to his knuckles, he turned his body to the right and twisted it left as fast as he could whipping the arm around and driving it through the man’s face.  The blow knocked the driver out and Fanis grabbed the keys and opened the van where he found many hand bags and wallets.  He loaded them into a bag in the van and walked out with the items. 

                When he arrived back at Angela’s, he was met with a Lysol and disinfectant.  Angela disinfected the bag and sprayed Fanis with the Lysol.   He articulated, “I need you to do me a favor.  Make sure these get to their proper owners.”

                “Oh, yes, I’ll drop them off at the police station.”

                “Thank You”

                Kera already had a cloth of ice for Fanis and he wrapped it around his right hand. He queried, “How did you know I was going to throw a punch?”

                “It’s a fight, I figured you would.”

                “But I didn’t till the end.”

                “Well, then if you didn’t, we would have just thrown the ice in the sink.  No big deal.”

                “I guess you’re right.”

                As it was 70 degrees and Fanis took a more casual aspect to his bodyguard duties, he was in shorts and a T-shirt.  With all the rolling on the street, he was scraped up pretty well.  Kera gave him a once over and shook her head, “When I left, you had already stabbed him.  How did you let him fuck you up this much?”

                “Hey, he was unconscious at the end, not me.”

                “Still, you stabbed him.  There shouldn’t be a mark on you.”

                “You’re mean” Fanis rejoined with a laugh

                Kera giggled and Angela came over with gauze and rubbing alcohol.  She addressed his scrapes and then shuffled off to her room.  Kera commented, “You know you’re going to have to bring that bag to the police station yourself right?”

                “Yea”

                “Where they’ll probably keep it for themselves.”

                “Yes”

                “So, you do realize it was pointless.”

                “Yes, that is clear now.”

                Again, Kera giggled and then poured her and her cousin a drink.  They took it easy the rest of the night and the next day they were back at the air strip.  Fanis was alarmed to find a tent set up by their plane but it was a decontamination center.  Kera looked at his horrified expression and remarked, “What?  I don’t want to get Covid19 on my plane.”

                “You called for this?”

                “Hell yea I did.”

                They walked to the plane and immediately their temperature was taken.  Both were around 98 degrees.  They then went through a full decontamination with shower and being scrubbed down by large brooms with people in hazmat suits.  Last night, they took their first cocktail of drugs shown to be effective against the Wuhan Virus.  After they were done decontaminating themselves, they took the second one.  As they did, Fanis opined, “It’s a good thing we’re not in Michigan where Hydroxychloroquine is banned.”

                “Not anymore.  Now, Governor Whitmer is asking the government for it.”

                “About time she realized letting her constituents get a horrendous illness that some of died from just so that President Trump can’t get a win is asinine but that’s just how Democrats are.”

                “Well, local papers attacked her for it demanding to let them have Plaquenill.  Can we call it that? It’s easier than ‘Hydroxychloroquine.’”

                “Call it whatever you want.”

                “Well, given that you don’t like using ‘Covid19’ and get pissed if anyone yells at you for calling it the ‘Wuhan Virus,’ I have to ask because you’re very sensitive to words.”

                “Anyway, it was the local media pressure that caused the about face?”

                “Yes, but I mean, I see her point, it’s dangerous to use drugs off label.”

                “Not really.  It’s done all the time.  It’s dangerous when lay people do it but if a doctor is prescribing it then it’s safer.  Doctors know what drugs treat off label.  It’s when people think that because they have the internet and WebMD that they can make that determination that problems arise.”

                “Except it’s illegal.”

                ‘No, it’s not.  Prescribing drugs off label is completely legal which is why it is done all the time.”

                “Fine, I mean, your dad’s a doctor so you should know.  Mine is not.”

                “You just go by what the media says but the media lies.  I keep telling you this.”

                “You definitely never let me forget your position on that.”

                For the rest of the flight, they either watch movies or try to sleep.  When they land in London, there is another decontamination tent waiting for them.  Fanis asks, “Seriously.  We’re doing this again?  We were sterile when we got on the plane, unless the plane was contaminated, we’re fine.”

                “That is why I arranged for the plane to be thoroughly and deeply cleaned.”

                “Of course you did.”

                “It was also a requirement by her majesty’s government.”

                “Ah, so they figured out that we were flying out.”

                “Yes, they did.  China may be the biggest surveillance state but England is probably number two.”

                “That is why Halper lured President Trump’s associates here because the FISA wasn’t invasively spying enough so they had to do it here.  Despite all that, they still found nothing.”

                They exit the plane and their temperature hadn’t changed from Hong Kong.  They go through the full decontamination regiment and then come out the other side to return to their car.  Fanis takes a deep breath and poses, “Is that disinfectant I smell?”

                “Yes, while we were gone, I had the car fully detailed from inside and out.”

                “If you were this scared to go to Hong Kong, why did we go?”

                “I had really important business.”

                “Based on how you looked when you came out, I don’t think you think it was worth it.”

                “No, it wasn’t.  I know you sided with Hong Kong in the protests but they’re not angels either.  They fucking lie too.”

                “Notice how you said ‘too’ meaning even you think that the Chinese lie.”

                “Everyone lies.”

                “Some more than others.”

                “Let’s just go home.”

                “Fine by me.”

                They go back to their flat and Fanis can smell cleaning supplies in there too. He didn’t need to ask for he knew that Kera had the flat thoroughly clean too.  He took off his masks and sat down to decompress.  Kera did the same as they scrolled through the movies to see which one to watch.