Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Nouno the Vigilante Episode 47 Unleashing Wuhan Virus Frustration


Jose Guadalupe-Gutierrez Sanchez is in his home in Hennepin Country located near St. Paul, Minnesota.   At 35-years-old, he is around the age where even in today’s society it seems it’s time to settle down.  It’s not that Jose is against having someone as he has been dating a woman.  The woman he is dating is not looking for just a good time as she has a seven-year-old daughter.  Jose knows that she is looking for a father to the young girl and he’s not really opposed to it.  As their relationship progresses, Jose gets the urge to pull a graduate in that you score with a mother and daughter combination.  Unfortunately, Jose isn’t going to wait the 12 years until his girlfriend’s daughter is of legal age.  He’s not going to even wait until high school where many girls start contemplating whether they want to give in to the peer pressure and society and lose their virginity.  At this time, they don’t realize how many of their peers are lying about whether or not they’ve had sex.  The ones that have feel ashamed but don’t want to admit it because they’ve been indoctrinated that women are just as capable of casual meaningless sex as men.  His girlfriend’s daughter, however, will not have any understanding of that when Jose starts touching her inappropriately.  When he gets caught, he flees not to be seen again but has made it to the Minnesota’s top 10 most wanted list. 

 

                As Covid19 wreaks havoc all across America, Abby is glued to the TV in Arizona watching the news comment on the rising cases.  As she is scared, she is also frustrated because her husband Nouno is not worried or panicked at all.  He still is going to work and avoids the news.  She exclaims, “How can you not care?”

                “Let me sum up their comments; the numbers are rising; we’re all going to die.  There, I just saved you hours of your life.”

                “This isn’t a joke.”

                “Who’s joking?”

                “Look, I found a case in Minnesota.  There are only 576 cases there so it’s safer.”

                “As opposed to 1,157 in Arizona.”

                “Yes, they have half the cases”

                “But twice the deaths too.”

                “What?”

                “20 people have died in Arizona and 10 people have died in Minnesota”

                “What’s your point?”

                “My point is that if you take death by cases, then Minnesota and Arizona are the same.”

                “That’s a meaningless statistic because you have differences in amount of testing and other variables.  You need to do per capita deaths”

                “Well, then Arizona looks pretty good because that’s a death rate of .0000292%”

                “How about Minnesota?”

                “.0000182%”

                “There you go, Minnesota is safer “

                I’m not even sure how to respond to that.  It appears those numbers are tiny.”

                “It doesn’t matter.  This is one of my cases.”

                “Then just say that.  Don’t tell me we’re going because of the Wuhan Virus”

                “Fine, we’re going to Minnesota to kill a sick fuck!”

                “Great”

                Nouno and Abby were national vigilantes.  They had a theory that the justice system looked the other way on immigrant crime because of political correctness so they righted that wrong.  They book a flight and head to Minnesota.  As they look around the airport and plane, they feel like they’re on a private flight as there is nobody on the plane.  Abby realizes that Nouno is in a bad mood so asks, “Hey honey what’s wrong?”

                “They just passed a huge stimulus bill and they’re already talking about another one.”

                “Well, these are unprecedented times.”

                “No, Pelosi is putting all the Green New Deal stuff she couldn’t get through in the last one again.  That means there’s going to be more pork that President Trump is going to sign and make the excuse, ‘we just had to give up some entitlement programs in order to help people.”

                “I think 60% agree with that.”

                “That’s because they don’t understand economics.  This is bankrupting our country.  That bitch will do the same thing she did last time and start with the farm and pretend she’s being reasonable by only getting hundreds of millions of dollars on things that have nothing to do with the virus.”

                “You’re the only one I know that’s against this.”

                “Not true; the Wall Street Journal just came out with an article ‘Save Capitalism from the Cares Act.’”

                “What was their problem with it?”

                “That it’s the most centralized planning bill ever in American history.”

                “So much for Trump saying America will never be a socialist country.”

                “Great, you’re mocking him.”

                “I’m just saying that two months after he said that, he’s already signing legislation to make it one.”

                “Well, that is undeniable.”

                “In all seriousness though, after spending $2 trillion, what could possibly be in this next bill?”

                “They are setting aside $377 Billion for small business loans.”

                “Well, look, a lot of them were shut down through no fault of their own.  The government forced them to shut down so they are obligated to help.  I agree it should just be used for like payroll, interest and rent but it is needed.”

                “That’s the problem though.  If you take every small business in the country, defined as less than 500 employees, you get $ 250 Billion a month in payroll, interest and rent so this would only cover them all for a month and a half.”

                “Ok, but some small businesses don’t need loans.”

                “Exactly, so the pool of money is too large.”

                “Why is that bad?”

                “It crowds out private lenders and will drain money from people who need it by businesses who don’t but will still claim it.  It opens them up to fraud and bad money always replaces good money.”

                “I take it government doesn’t compete fairly.”

                “They never do.  The central bank is leveraging loans at 10:1”

                “I don’t know that that means.”

                “It means there’s 4.27 Trillion dollars for everything.  This is about equal to twice as much the outstanding debt by the fed now.  It’s impossible for this not to be fraudulent when that much unnecessary money is up for grabs.”

                “Yes, but these loans need to be paid back.”

                “What if they’re not?”

                “Cross that bridge when we get there.”

                “No, that’s not a good answer.  We need an exit strategy to the crisis to be announced now.  We need to know the plan.  It can’t just be, ‘we’ll figure it out’ because it may be too late then.”

                “You sound like a Global Warmist.”

                “This is better documented and more sound reasoning,”

                “Look, you have been a huge supporter of President Trump.  Why don’t you just trust his judgment in closing the economy?  I’m sure he had a good reason.  All the other times you doubted him it worked out.”

                “He didn’t close the economy; those decisions are state decisions made by the governors.  President Trump just recommended the social distancing nationwide.”

                “He kind of hinted.”

                “He agreed.  There’s a difference.”

                “He hasn’t been too shy to call out politicians before.”

                “That is true and I do think he’s on board but I don’t agree with it.”

                “Duly noted.”

                “What did the guy do anyway?”

                “He sexually assaulted his girlfriend’s daughter starting when she was seven.”

                “Oh good.  That’s going to be my pleasure to eliminate him from the realm of the living.”

                “This is my collar.”

                “I know, I know.  It will be our pleasure.”

                Abby smiled, “That’s better.”

                They land in Minnesota and head to an Air BNB to drop off their stuff.  As they were just recently in Minnesota, they’ve already scoped out the crematoriums.  This time, however, they’re not going to use the same one as they weren’t here that long ago.  Nouno asks, “Well, despite their low numbers, they closed their restaurants and bars just like everyone else.  How do you suppose you’re going to find him?”

                “Same way I always do; hack into his social media.”

                “He was on the most wanted list and hasn’t been caught; what makes you think you can find him?”

                “Have I ever not found anyone?  Did you forget why we do this?  He hasn’t been found because the system isn’t really looking.”

                “Alright, I’ll let you work but if he can’t go to a bar or restaurant, how are we going to nab him?”

                “If he has nowhere to go, then we know where he’s going to be.”

                “You’re going to find his address?”

                “Uh huh”

                “Then you want to break into his house?”

                “Yup”

                “He’ll have home field advantage; literally.  He’s also legally allowed to kill us if we enter his property.”

                “We aren’t legally allowed to kill him yet we are.  What does ‘legal’ have to do with anything?”

                “I suppose you’re right.”

                By cross referencing the pictures with a hacking site that uses Google Earth to find similarities, Abby was able to pinpoint his location.  This bothered Nouno because he realized if he wife could do it, then the government or any lay person could.  It was kind of scary especially since the tilt in the country was toward socialism.  When they got there, Jose was working outside building a porch.  They parked their car a couple houses away and walked making it seem like they were just out for a stroll.  When they passed the house, they were shocked when Jose called out, “Hola”

                Nouno was fluent in Spanish so he responded back “Hola, que tal?”

                The conversation continued in Spanish but Jose was surprised that this pale bald man responded without an accent.  Still, most people in America knew ‘Hola’ though they normally said, ‘Come Estas’ rather than the much more informal, ‘Que Tal.’  Jose responded, “Well, I can’t go to work so figured I might as well get some work done on the house.”

                “Yea, it seems like a lot of people have been doing that lately.  Do you want a hand?”

                “You’re not afraid to get close to me?’

                “Nah, I’m not 70 years old and don’t have a chronic illness.”

                “Yea, sure, I could use some help.”

                Nouno walked toward him and although Abby didn’t speak Spanish, the body language told her what just happened.  She called out, “I can make something to eat if you want?” in English and Nouno translated.

                He just nodded and let Abby into the house much to her surprise.  She had no idea it was going to be this easy.  Instead of going to the kitchen, she moved the cushions off a couch and found some saran wrap that she wrapped around the couch.  Jose stated, “They need to open work up again. “

                “There was actually an article in the Wall Street Journal about that.  It was called, ‘how to get America working again.”

                “What did it say?”

                “They had four things to do.  The first was to expand testing to test on a mass scale and make it random ; not just the sick.”

                “They always say that but I don’t think that matters.”

                “Next the government needs to start testing the people who have recovered to see if they developed an immunity.  If so, they can use that for a vaccine.”

                “That makes sense”

                “Third, protect the elderly and immune disease and those with respiratory problems.”

                “The high risk group.”

                “Yes”

                “Why does it hurt them more?”

                “They are killed by their immune system’s response to the virus rather than the virus itself.”

                “Their body gives in because it’s overworked?”

                “Yes, more or less.  Let them stay home and the young and healthy can go out and work.”

                “Just till it’s under control.”

                “Of course”

                “What’s the last one?”

                “Let the jobs that don’t require close contact to re-open.”

                “Like construction and landscaping.”

                “Yes, like those.”

                “Where the teams are working in different areas anyway?  That makes sense.”

                “Yea”

                Jose went to nail in a board when Nouno came from behind and drove a syringe into his neck.  He then feigned that Jose had hit himself with a hammer and wrapped his arm over his shoulder and lifted it high as if he was elevating it from a wound.  He guided Jose’s lifeless body inside the house and he and Abby set him up on the couch.

                When he woke up, Jose was strapped down with duck tape that Abby had in the car along with saran wrap.  “What are you doing?”

                Since it seemed that Jose didn’t speak English, Nouno did the talking, “You’re here to pay for what you did to that little girl.”

                “What?  What do you care?”

                “We don’t like people that molest little kids.  It’s frowned upon in this country.”

                “What country?  Your president is being taken down by a tiny woman.”

                “Nancy Pelosi has tried several times to take him down and has always failed.”

                “Well, now she’s got a new attempt.”

                “I know, she’s on TV all the time talking about the virus bill.”

                “She’s not focused on the virus, she’s focused on investigating and impeaching Donald Trump. “

                “I heard her, she keeps asking ‘what did he know and when did he know it?’”

                “If she gets her way, you’re not going to have a country.”

                “Yes, there used to be a tag line when Bush was president, ‘Bush lied, people died.’  It sounds better in English but now it’s going to be, ‘Trump lied; people died.”

                “Do you like the president?”

                “I liked him more before this crisis.”

                “Why aren’t you worried about Pelosi then?”

                “The facts are on the president’s side just like they always are.”

                “She says that she was warning him for months.”

                “That’s a lie.  President Trump put a travel ban on China and she tried to pass regulation to stop the travel ban.  As always with her and Democrats, the truth is the opposite of what she said.  She claims she warned everyone from the beginning and Trump ignored it but really Trump took action to slow it down and she attacked him for it.”

                “When was this?”

                “In January”

                “Maybe she means when it got here?”

                “Oh no, on February 24, Pelosi is on video walking around ChinaTown in San Francisco inviting people to come down and stop being racists by ignoring Chinese stores and food.”

                “She loves playing the race card.”

                “Yes she does.  The Wall Street Journal agreed with you too.  They wrote an article saying that Pelosi is doing this to send a message to her left wing allies that if Trump gets re-elected, she’s willing to impeach him again.”

                “What happened to that legislation?”

                “The house, which Nancy Pelosi is the head of, rescinded it.”

                “I wonder why she did that?” Jose replies with heavy sarcasm

                “Yea, Republicans told her too because of the Wuhan Virus.  Now, since during her tweet she’s talking about African countries and not China, she claimed it had nothing to do with the Wuhan Virus.  This proves otherwise.”

                “Who is telling her that impeachment is a good idea?  The last one failed miserably, why would she try again?”

                “This guy named Lawrence Tribe is advising her.  He already tweeted out that if Trump withholding aid to Ukraine is impeachable then so is withholding aid to states for Wuhan Virus.”

                “He didn’t do either.”

                “I know that.  You know that.  Apparently Tribe and Pelosi don’t”

                “What they don’t know is that Americans aren’t going to be tricked.”

                “I hope you’re right.”

                “It’s so pathetic that she refuses to help.”

                “It’s not that she’s not helping; she’s making it worse.”

                “So, bottom line; you’re saying that Trump warned us in January and Pelosi ignored it.”

                “Yes, on January 29, President Trump was in his situation room meeting with the Wuhan Virus task force.  Dr. Fauci and his high level cabinet members were all there.  You want to know what Pelosi was doing two weeks before that?”

                “What?”

                “Getting commemorative pens for signing the articles of impeachment.”

                “What a moron.”

                Abby cleared her throat theatrically.  She announced, “I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?  Is it my turn yet?”

                Nouno switched to English, “Yes, of course.”

                Abby came over with a scowl on her face.  Nouno couldn’t tell if it was for him, Jose or both.  She declared in English, “You sick fuck.  Why the fuck would you molest a seven-year-old girl?” Jose looked at Nouno and Nouno looked at his wife who just shook her head and continued, “No, I want him to be just as confused as I was when you guys were talking.  Don’t worry, he’ll figure it out real quick. 

Abby was wearing surgical gloves.  Prior to this pandemic, most people knew this to mean that something bad was going to happen but nowadays, it was quite normal for people to wear surgical gloves.  Being restrained, however, that was a dead giveaway.  Abby lowered Jose’s pants and briefs.  She explained, “Since you abused this, I’m confiscating it from you.  She grabbed the shaft of his penis in one hand and a serrated blade in the other and chopped.

                Jose’s eyes widened and he shouted Spanish obscenities, to which Abby countered with another chop.  She removed his scrotum and penis very messily.  Jose was still screaming when she finished, which gave her the opportunity to jam his sex organs into his mouth.  She then duck taped his mouth shut.  Jose struggled on the restraints and Abby grinned as she slowly moved her right hand to his nostrils.  She slowly pinched his nose shut and watched Jose squirm but he was too well restrained to do anything.  It didn’t take long for him to stop squirming as his body went limp.  Abby held on for another minute and then let go.  When no gasp of air came out, she backed away.  They wrapped the body and Nouno went out to bring the car into the driveway.  They loaded Jose’s body into the trunk and then Nouno got in the driver seat.  Abby commented, “Hold on, I got one more thing to do.”

                She rushed into the house and lit the couch on fire and watched as flamed engulfed it.  She calmly walked out of the house and got into Nouno’s car.  He backed out and drove off.  The fire hadn’t spread enough to be noticed, so Nouno inquired, “What did you do?”

                “You’ll see.”

                Nouno kept driving as the fire raged.  He made the turn before seeing the fire in his rear view mirror.  They drove the body to a crematorium and loaded him into the machine and turned it on.  Rather than leave, since no restaurants were open, they stayed and talked.  Nouno queried, “Did you hear Mike Liddell has converted his factories to make masks?”

                “The My Pillow guy?”

                “Yup”

                “Yea, I heard about that because people were pissed that at the end of the announcement he recommended people read the bible.”

                “Yea, I can’t believe people attack him for doing something to help out.”

                “Well, separation of church and state.”

                “Let me get this straight; the government can ban people from worshipping in churches, mosques, and temples and that’s not a violation of separation of church and state but taking a microphone during a presidential briefing and suggesting people read the bible is?”

                Abby hesitates and her eyes look up contemplating this.  She concedes, “That’s actually a good point.”

                “At least, he’s doing something to help.  The Democrats just seem to want to hurt the cause.”

                “Nobody is trying to help the virus”

                “What are you talking about?  Pelosi has basically admitted she’s using it to impeach Trump again and Soros started a company called ‘Priorities USA’ to lead in attacking Trump for the Wuhan Virus handling through advertisements.”

                “I thought you were talking about the media.”

                “They’re the worst.”

                “How?”

                “Moscow Maddow humiliated herself again because she kept repeating on March 20 that there was no way that the two navy ships that President Trump ordered to New York and California would arrive next week.  She knew that it would take several weeks.”

                “Didn’t those arrive?”

                “Yes, despite her saying 10 days ago that it was nonsense that they’d be there next week.”

                “Well, 10 days isn’t next week.”

                “It’s closer than several weeks?”

                “True, as it wasn’t even two, but she was partly right.”

                “Actually, the California one arrived March 27, so that was next week.”

                “So she was half wrong because the one in New York got there March 30.”

                “No, she was completely wrong about there not being a sign.  You want a sign; the ships have arrived.  There’s your fucking sign.”

                They talked some more and when the machine was done; they disposed of the remains in the proper way and exited the crematorium.  That night, Abby was watching the news again and the TV cut to the house fire.  As Nouno was only casually observing, he perked up when he realized that they were actually reporting on something that wasn’t the Wuhan Virus.  Had it not been for Abby’s guilty but satisfied look, he may not have noticed what he was seeing.  He nodded and uttered, “You went back in to do that.”

                “Yup”

                “Alright, that’ll clear up our DNA in the house.”

                “They won’t even check for it.”

                “Especially because there are no bodies.”

                “I thought that too.”

                They ordered pizza and ate and then went to sleep.  The next day, they got on a plane and headed back to Arizona. Nouno articulated as he looked at his phone, “Good, they haven’t forgotten about Richard Burr with this Wuhan Virus hysteria.”

                “What about him?”

                “Before the market collapsed, he sold somewhere between $630,000 and $1.2 Million worth of stocks.”

                “Insider trading?”

                “Yup, he used his position as a Senator to be briefed on the information and act.  He claimed it was open sources but so far there’s no explanation.”

                “Isn’t he a Republican from your home state of North Carolina?”

                “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I condone insider trading.  If someone fucks up, I don’t care what ethnicity or party they are, they need to be taken down?”

                “This has nothing to do with the fact that he hates Trump and agreed with impeachment or something.”

                “No, it has to do with him being unethical.  He wanted them to investigate Trump then fine, let’s see how Burr likes being investigated.  Turnabout is fair play.”

                “Yes, I can see that it doesn’t matter.”

                “When a Trump supporter actually does something that is fucked up, you’ll see that my loyalty is with the truth not with people. The problem is that Trump supporters are squeaky clean so when they get attacked for something, it’s normally made up.”

                “Paul Manafort.”

                “What he was prosecuted for had nothing to do with President Trump.”

                “Still shady”

                “I agree but not President Trump’s fault.”

                “The point was they’re not all squeaky clean but you proved your point since you did attack him and admit that what he did was shady.”

                “Boom!”

                “There’s a lot of nefarious activity going around.  I can’t believe people are stealing masks.  Hospitals need that shit more than they do.”

                “Yea, the funny part is when Cuomo said it, nobody cared.  When Trump said it, however, then the media had a hissy fit at how appalled they were that he was accusing nurses and doctors of stealing it.”

                “Did he?”

                “No, he simply asked ‘where are all the masks we sent you going?  That’s a legitimate question.”

                “Sounds reasonable to me.”

                “I tell you; people are crazy.”

                “And that’s why we try to get rid of them.”

                “That’s right and we do a damn good job because we are a great team.”

                Abby leaned over and Nouno kissed her.  They held hands and Abby cried out, “Damn straight we are!”

                They landed in Arizona and went home.  Abby felt calmer after unleashing her frustration and stress on Jose.  It was very odd how killing could be such a stress reliever. 

 

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