Theo the Trump Employee Episoide 51 Rushing to the bottom

                Theo is in a foul mood.  It is not often that he disagrees with the head of the building that he is employed but lately he has.  The address where he is employed is one all Americans should know; 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C.  When he leaves his home in Rockville, Maryland to get on the train to D.C., he notices right away how empty the trains are.  A lot of people aren’t going to work or leaving their homes today.  At work, however, everyone is busy as they try to get control of the Coronavirus pandemic.  Some are in charge of testing; others, like Theo, are involved in analyzing the new bill that was put out Friday right before the end of the day.  It is this bill that puts Theo in a foul mood; especially since the President has already advised congress to sign it.

                He picks up the receiver and dials the number to a video conferencing, which has taken the place of real meetings due to the contagion fear.    During the meeting, the proctor announces, “We have done a very good job in acting fast on this.  We have gotten bills through the house and the Senate should be approving them shortly.  I applaud many of you for the quickness you’ve had to work in doing something.”

                Theo blurts out instinctively, “The pressure to do something doesn’t justify doing something stupid.”

                The only thing that aids Theo in this outburst is that it’s out of character and rare at work and the proctor knows this.  This, however, doesn’t mean the proctor likes being interrupted.  He asks, “Do you have a problem with the bill, Theo?”

                “Yes, we can’t make the same mistake that Obama and Bush made when they bailed out the financial sector.”

                “If they hadn’t done that, it would have led to a Great Depression.”

                “You can’t prove a counter-factual so we won’t talk about what ifs.  What is undeniable is that some companies that were deemed ‘too big to fail’ weren’t.  For example, Rosemont Seneca got bailout money. I hardly think America’s financial future was based on Rosemont Seneca.”

                There was a laugh from the group as most of them knew that that company was owned by Joe Biden’s son Hunter, which would explain why it was on the list.  The proctor silenced everyone by stating, “You’re speaking generally and about things of the past.  A pandemic is not the same thing as a financial bubble bursting.”

                “I’m specifically talking about the Coronavirus bill being bad.”

                “How?  Specifically.”

                “The increase in paid family leaves doesn’t have a hard cap on the length of time.  If they became permanent, it will harm small business.”

                “That’s an easy fix that the Senate can make.  Remember, it’s only passed the House.  The Senate still needs to approve and small tweaks can be made.”

                “Waiving the Co-pays for testing will lead to increase premiums down the road.  You’re going to make insurance more unaffordable, which will only give the Democrats more ammunition.  We’re using the same terms they are by calling it ‘free.’  It’s not free”

                “That is necessary at this time.  During a crisis, you have to drop money now and pay for it later.”

                “Alright, that one I’ll give you. Now, that I say it out loud, I think it is worth it.  Why haven’t we closed the border?  We should issue a moratorium to stop all international travel.”

                “Central America and Mexico hasn’t really been affected by the virus relative to cooler climates.”

                “I know that but if we’re going to be waiving co-pays and making it free to get tested, we can’t have the world streaming in.  I’m not talking for a long time but for like two weeks.”

                “They already called us racists for the travel ban from Europe, China and Iran.

                “They’re going to call us racists no matter what we do anyway.  How is that even a real reason not to do something?”

                “I’ll give you that.”

                “What about this 6.2% increase to states for Medicaid reimbursements?  It isn’t even based on how much of Medicaid was allocated for Coronavius.  Why aren’t we only increasing it to the states most affected?”

                “Then it will incentivize states to lie about their cases in order to get more money.”

                “That’s why we have the CDC confirming cases.”

                “They don’t have time to be checking.  We need accurate data.”

                “The CDC checks anyway.”

                “Yes, but there’s less incentive to lie.”

                “The bill hasn’t been passed.  All the states most affected at the time the bill was being negotiated should get the bulk.”

                “I’ll agree to disagree on that.”

                “Speaking of deadline, we need one on this waiving of work requirements for Food Stamps.  You’re reversing all the work President Trump did in convincing the underemployed from re-entering the work force.  There should be a hard deadline at the end of the month.”
                “Again, that’s something the Senate can tweak.”

                “They haven’t talked about tweaks.  All they talk about is the pressure to do something and do it quickly.  That is how these things fall through the cracks.  We’re already 22 Trillion dollars in debt; we can’t really afford to be irresponsible now.”

                “I think I addressed your concerns pretty substantially.”

                “What about paid leave being 2/3 of your pay?  If you’re a small business of less than 500 employees, this cripples the business.  People are going to lose their jobs.  Small businesses can’t afford to pay people more for not working.”

                “That’s a political move.”

                “The biggest thing the president had was the economy and the low unemployment.  You’re hurting both.”

                “Duly noted, but I think we should allow other people to speak now.”

                Theo was happy that he was allowed to voice his criticisms but when the meeting ended, he realized that he didn’t even get to his solutions.  He left work and headed to Georgetown University to go to a bar.  He did this once a week as he enjoyed arguing with college kids.  As he went over there, he remembered that Georgetown had cancelled classes so a lot of students may have gone home.  Theo didn’t know if it was spring break yet but some schools had had it.  He figured the worst case scenario would be he’d have some drinks. 

                It turned out his assumptions were wrong.  The bar was still pretty full and Theo laughed because what’s the point of cancelling class if the same students that would’ve been in a lecture hall together are congregating in a bar?  A blond girl is overheard declaring, “Thank God we have a Democrat congress because they passed a bill on what needed to be done.”

                Theo yelled out, “The bill sucks.”

                The blond turned to him and scolded, “Excuse me.”

                “The bill is going to hurt the economy in the long run.”

                “How do you figure?”

                Theo went through all his points before but this time, the only opposition was, “Oh, so you’re some corporate businessman?  You’re too greedy to give your employees paid time off.”

                “I’m not a CEO actually.  I am an employee.  I just know how economics works.”

                Her tone became mocking, “Okay, Mr. Economics, why don’t you tell us your plan.”

                “The Fed needs to initiate virus injections into banks.”

                “What does that mean?”

                “They need to make it easier for banks to lend money and give lines of credits to small businesses that is backed up by the government.  There still needs to be criteria, however.  The company needs to prove that they were solvent before the Pandemic happened.  That way, it’s reasonable that they’re only struggling now because of the pandemic.”

                The blond was quiet.  “I don’t really have a problem with that.”

                “Next, they need to have a spending bill that cuts spending to free up all the money we have to spend on the virus.  Yes, spend the money now but put in the bill that we’re going to cut government waste here, here and there to pay for it when the crisis subsides.”

                “Yea, like the wall.”

                “No, like spending $15 per cupcake for a catered meeting or paying Adam Schiff’s lawyers to allow him to be a tyrant.  They should cut DARE because it clearly hasn’t done much to keep kids off drugs.  I’d even be okay with if Coronavirus costs us 15% of our yearly spending, do a 15% cut across the board.”

                “Including military”

                “Yes, including military.”

                “I’m beginning to be a little more interested in what you have to say.”

                “Also, people need more money to spend so I’d cut, temporarily like maybe till the end of the year, income, capital gains and corporate taxes.”

                “Yea, that’ll really help the election.”

                “It puts money in people’s pockets.  The way out of a market collapse is consumers need to spend money.  That’s why the FED lowers interest rates, to get people to start buying houses and spending money because it’s meaningless to keep it in a savings account.”

                “It’s important for people to save money too.”

                “Bottom line is people can choose what to do with the extra money.  Like I said, it’s temporary.  Also by lowering the Capital Gains tax, you get people more willing to sell their land so people that haven’t been doing much with it can sell it to someone who knows how to utilize it better.  Now, people are hesitant because they don’t want to sell at a loss or minimal gain and then got fleeced again by the tax.  Remember, before the Civil War, there was no income tax and the government made most of their money through land sales.  Most of the early presidents operated at a surplus.  There’s a lot of money in land.”

                “Wouldn’t people also sell the stocks they’re hanging on to so that will cause the market to collapse?”

                “As you can tell, the market seems to be on a roller coaster and alternating days going nine percent up and down.  Yes, that will happen but then people will buy them and then sell and pretty much do exactly what they’re doing now.  It may be a on a larger scale but that will be offset by the land sales.”

                “Apparently, you’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

                “I have.  I’d also waive the requirement that retirees have to sell a certain percentage of their retirement accounts based on their age.  These forced distributions are immoral because it won’t let them ride it out if they want to.”

                “Didn’t you just say you didn’t want people to invest?”

                “In Savings accounts.  Remember your point; we want to limit people selling because it’s causing chaos in the stock market.  If that’s the case, why are we forcing retirees to sell?”

                “That’s a good point.  It’s also just mean!”

                “I would agree.”

                The blond sits and leans over and despite it being relatively cool in D.C., she had a low cut shirt and her well formed cleavage was in full view.  She inquired, “You mentioned the Fed lowered interest rates.  To what?”

                “0.25%”

                “Ouch”

                “Yea, that’s why you saw the market collapse because this doesn’t generate too much faith in the market.”

                “Then you’re like Trump and blaming the Fed?”

                “Trump told Republicans to approve the bill.  Right now, I’m blaming everyone.  The interest rates aren’t even the problem with the Fed”

                “What is?”

                “They are going to print $700 Billion.  That has never been a good idea ever in the history of the world so I doubt it will now.”

                “Inflation right?”

                “Very good.”

                “Alright, so you’re problems are more financial and economic.  The way they’ve been treating the virus itself though has been pretty good.”

                “Pretty good but it could be better.”

                “How?”

                “They need to start doing random testing.  If you only test the sick, you get skewed numbers and the contagion rate and mortality rate are higher than they should be. Send testing kids to businesses and test their employees.  Have centers in the street and test people as they walk by.  If we lower the number, then people may not be as panicked.”

                “Lie to people.”

                “It’s not lying!  It’s getting an accurate reading.  If I want to see how many people have cancer and I only test people in Oncology wards and pretend that’s indicative of the population, I’m going to get a much higher rate of cancer than the reality.”

                “Well, this is a little too deep for a conversation over drinks.  I’d shake your hand but I don’t want to get sick.”

                “You don’t look over 60.”

                She smiled sarcastically as she was probably around 22.  She responded, “Neither do you.  Even though, you know, you’re bald.”

                “Thanks” said the 35-year-old bald Theo

                The blond walked away and Theo went back to his drink. 

                A 6’4” short haired man came up to Theo.  He was broad shouldered and looked a good 240 pounds but mostly muscular.  Theo, at 6’0” 224 broad and not muscular did feel outsized, which was seldom but not enough of a rarity to make him uncomfortable.  He uttered, “Hi”

                “Hey, I was eavesdropping on your conversation.”

                “Alright, are you here to agree or argue?”

                “I don’t know yet as it’s on a different topic.”

                “What topic would that be?”

                For some reason, Theo was expecting a sarcastic response.  Instead, he got, “With all this stuff going on, do you think they’re going to postpone the presidential election.”

                “Highly unlikely.  They didn’t even postpone it during the Civil war.”

                “It’s possible though right?”

“              “Anything is possible but the date of the election is federal law.  In order for it to be changed, congress would have to pass a bill, which then would have to be approved by the Senate and the President.”

                “I don’t see Trump doing that.  Unless the economy still sucks, then he may want to do that.”

                “But congress wouldn’t”

                “Oh right.  The whole balance of powers thing.  Since Democrats control the house and Republicans control the Senate and presidency, if one thing clearly benefits the Democrats or Republicans , it won’t go through because all three have to agree.”

                “Correct”

                “What If the President just signs an executive order?”

                “He can’t with this.  It’s not one of his powers.”

                “Oh, well, I guess that’s a good thing because, like you said, if you don’t like the polling, the president could just delay it until they get better.”

                “Yea, that is one reason why he can’t do it unilaterally but there’s other federal laws in place too.  You have the one that on January 3, there must be a winner in the election.  After that, on January 20, the winner of the election must take over as president so there really isn’t much of a window of opportunity.  This is especially true since after Bush and Gore, people love recounts.  All three of these would need separate bills to be changed.”

                “How do you know all this?”

                “I work in the White House”

                “Oh, so you have looked into this?”

                “No, I just know the rules.”

                “Would you tell me if you had?”

                Theo hesitates even though he knows the answer.  He replies, “No, probably not.”

                The man smiled and rejoined, “Now, I believe you.  If you would have told me ‘yes,’ I would have been more suspicious.”

                The guy walks away and Theo realizes that nobody is introducing themselves anymore.  Then again, he never introduced himself either so it was kind of two ways.  He wondered if it’s because nobody knows how to act anymore since everyone tells you not shake hands and have six feet of personal space.  A Brunette walks up to Theo and shouts, “You’re a Trump supporter?”

                “I am”

                “I’m a Republican and I don’t even like Trump.”

                “So, you’re a never-Trumper?”

                “I don’t like labels.”

                “Most people don’t but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re accurate.”

                “Well, I mean, you have his physician giving all this medical advice about Coronavirus and he’s not even a fucking M.D.  I got this from George Conway, not some random person on social media.”

                “You do know that D.O.’s take the same training for the same amount of years as M.D’s right?”

                “Wait, what?”

                “D.O.’s are real doctors.  My father is an M.D. and he even believes D.O’s are real doctors.  He’s pretty blunt on his opinion on this too as I’ve heard him tell dentists that he doesn’t consider them real doctors.”

                “Why not?  They do surgery and go to school.”

                “They don’t go to medical school or do the same residency that D.O’s and M.D.’s do.”

                “So, wait…”

                “Conway is a fucking moron.  There, I solved the paradox in your head.”

                “Fine, but you have to admit with all this gloating that Trump has been doing, it’s nice to see his supporters eat crow.  How’s your precious economy doing now?  You tired of winning yet?  Rick Wilson said that.”

                “Just so you know name dropping does nothing for me.  You think it’s good that thousands of people are infected with a new virus? Business, schools and events are cancelled all over the world and over 60 people have died and you’re happy because now President Trump and his supporters can’t talk about the economy?  All this is worth it to you for that result?”

                “Whatever, Jennifer Rubin says it affects Trump supporters more than anyone else so you’re more likely to get it than I am.”

                “How the fuck do you consider that a rational thought?  How are you a Republicans?  Usually Republicans have a shred of logic.”

                “Democrats take the threat seriously but Trump supporters call it a hoax.”

                “No, we didn’t.  President Trump said the media coverage of it was a hoax.  He likened it to the impeachment hoax.  Do you think the President doesn’t know he was impeached?”

                “She just means you are more likely to go out and be in groups so more of a risk factor.”

                “You’re at the same bar I am.”

                “Yea, but I’m a Republican so I’m part of the group.”

                “Do you not believe in the Coronavirus?

                “No, it just doesn’t seem to hurt people in their 20s with no pre-existing conditions.  If I was over 60 or had lung cancer or something then I would be worried.”

                “Why can’t Trump supporters do the same thing?”

                “She’s just saying that since they’re not worried, they may get it more.”

                “I think that’s stupid.”

                “I have a feeling you think that a lot about people who disagree with you.”

                “This is true but, in this case, it’s pretty objectively stupid.  The virus doesn’t discriminate ideologically.”

                “The people on the view seemed to like it.”

                “A group of far left liberals were sitting at a table talking about how liberal aren’t congregating in places.”

                The brunette thought about this.  “I can’t talk to a Trump supporter.  You people are just too angry.  You need to learn to take the high road.”

                With that, the brunette walked away.  The bartender gave him a smile and opined, “You just can’t get people to stay and talk to you.  They all just run away.”

                “It appears that’s the case.”

                “Do you want a refill?”

                Theo saw that his cup was empty so accepted the refill.  The bartender queried, “It’s looking pretty bad.”

                “I have faith in us to pull through.  I think the reason we’re still so divided is intuitively, we know it’s not that big a deal.”

                “I hope you’re right but it just seems like the whole country is going to shit.”

                “Yea, but we may finally get justice for the sleazy tyrant Adam Schiff so that’s good.”

                “I was more talking about the Coronavirus but now I’m curious.”

                “Careful, you’re not allowed to run away” Theo offered with a large grin.

                “What are you talking about?  I can walk to the other side of the bar any time I want.  In fact, I kind of have to with my job.”

                “Touche, I see you’re already planning your escape.”

                “Comes with the territory my man.”

                “I can see that.”

                “So, why do you think Schiff is in trouble?”

                “I don’t really because if I’ve learned one thing over the last four years, it’s that Democrats are above the law but he did have to get lawyers to go to court to keep his secret illicit subpoenas secret.  That’s a start.”

                “Is there any evidence?”

                “Well, there’s a FOIA request now for him to hand over the subpoenas.  There’s also FOIA requests to the CIA and DOJ to turn over the e-mails Schiff made to the whistleblower.  Right now, the DOJ and CIA are refusing to confirm or deny their existence.”

                “That does seem sketchy.  One thing though.”

                “Yes”

                “What’s a FOIA” He posed light heartedly

                “Freedom of Information Act.  It allows private citizens to get information that is not classified upon request.”

                “Interesting.”

                “Yea, a company called ‘Judicial Watch’ has been issuing them non-stop for a while now.  They’ve actually gotten more documents and things through FOIA than President Trump and Bill Barr have.”

                “That’s kind of pathetic.”

                “I actually agree with that.”

                “So, why is Schiff a tyrant?”

                “He targeted Giuliani, his colleague Devin Nunes, reporter John Solomon among others by forcing the phone companies to turn over their call history.  Right now, the FCC wants to fine the phone companies $ 200 million for complying.  To make matters worse, you’re only supposed to get phone records after you ask and warn your target but with Giuliani, Schiff didn’t do that.”

                “Is it a common courtesy thing?”

                “No, it’s required by law.”

                “Seems like Schiff is in some trouble.”

                “Not really, he’s a Democrat.  He’ll get off.”

                The bartender laughed.  He then started helping other customers.  Even though this was inevitable, Theo couldn’t help but think he called it. 

                A blond man approached Theo and Theo nodded and chuckled as it seemed the Coronavirus hasn’t ruined his routine after all.  The blond asserted, “We don’t really get many Trump supporters around here.”

                “You probably do but they don’t say anything because they tend to get harassed and attacked.”

                “I don’t think anyone has harassed or attacked you.  We’re just having some good natured debate.”

                “That is true.  It’s almost like you kids know you’re not in your safe spaces.”

                This got a laugh out of the blond.  “What is your take on CNN?”

                “The Clinton News Network.”

                The blond just nodded and challenged, “That’s a programmed response.”

                “I guess you haven’t been paying attention to your fellow classmates.  I’ve backed it up.”

                “Do you go to Georgetown?”

                “No”

                “Why are you here?”

                “To pick a fight with Ivy League college kids as you people tend to think you know everything and I like putting a chink in that armor.”

                “Ah, so you are antagonistic.”

                “Absolutely.”

                “Well, back it up then.  How is CNN fake news.”

                “That’s a long list so we’ll just go by today.” 

                “That works.”

                “President Trump gave a speech that Google is setting up a website that will allow people to locate a Coronavirus testing facility near them.”

                “That’s a great idea.  I’ll give Trump credit for that but what are you saying?  CNN attacked it?”

                “Oh no, CNN called him a liar.”

                “Was he?”

                “Not according to CNN”

                “I’m confused”

                “As you should be.  The President’s response to the article was awesome.  In a monotone and calm manner, he articulates, ‘we need to get the news right sometimes.  It would really be a wonderful thing.’”

                “You said according to CNN not Trump.”

                “Right” Theo takes out his phone and shows him a screen shot, “This is from CNN politics that says that Google denies a national Coronavirus test site locator.”

                “Okay, so that’s what Trump was responding to.”

                “Then you have this also from CNN politics” Theo swipes his phone and sees an article about Google’s new website that helps people locate Coronavirus centers.”

                “Things change.”

                “Google is very liberal.  They wouldn’t change their policy to prove President Trump right.”

                “That’s just a minor thing.  CNN had a premier doctor on to talk about the virus.  His name is Dr. Fauci so it’s not just partisan hacks.”

                “All the interviewer wanted to talk about with Dr. Fauci is if he condemns President Trump for touching a microphone.”

                 “It’s a legitimate question”

                “After Dr. Fauci said no, she kept going.  It got to the point that Fauci had to tell her to get real and that touching something with two fingers that someone else touched isn’t going to do much.  Why not talk about the virus?  Ask about symptoms and how you can contract it.  What to do if you get it?  Do any over the counter medications work?  Ask how long it stays on surfaces.  Any of that would have been stuff people want to know.  Instead, all she can do is basically beg him to condemn President Trump.”

                “You’re obviously very defensive over the president.  I’m going to go back to my friends.  Looking around, it doesn’t appear you have any.”

                “I know.  It’s a great time to be a dork because the more people you interact with and hang out with, the more likely you’ll contract the virus.”

                Theo caught a smile from the blond boy as he walked away.  He closed his tab as he still had to go to work tomorrow and these students were drinking like there was no tomorrow.  For them, though, there wasn’t because schools were closed.  An online lecture doesn’t require much sobriety.”

                Theo got on the train and headed back to Rockville.  There were two girls talking and a Hispanic looking one with straight long black hair and thick lips exclaimed, “Fuck, I forgot about the Democrat debate last night.”

                Theo interjected, “Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.”

                “Oh yea?!” she asked in a voice that made her seem more entertained than confrontational.

                “Yea, Biden still doesn’t know what state he’s in and Bernie is still a communist.  There you go.”

                “What was the highlight of the debate?”

                “I honestly don’t even remember much it was so boring and repeating the same thing over and over.  They both hate energy but Bernie wants to ban all fracking and Biden only wants to ban future fracking.  I guess, my favorite part is when Biden accused Sanders of having nine Super PAC’s”

                “Does he?”

                “Bernie called him out on it and told him he had none.”

                “I can look that up.”

                “Don’t bother; the exchange is what I’m getting at.”

                The Hispanic put her phone away, “Yea, I guess I don’t really care how many Super PAC’s a candidate has.”

                “Anyway Biden fired back, ‘do you want me to list them?’  so Bernie said ‘yes’ and Biden waves him off and asks him to give him a break.”

                “Wait, so he offered to list them and when Bernie called his bluff he dismissed him?”

                “Yes”

                The Hispanic put out her arms, “Why offer if you can’t back it up?”

                “Good question; ask Biden.  I don’t like Bernie but I’ll give him credit for not letting it go.  He told him he wasn’t going to give him a break and asked him again to list them.”

                “So, all you got is they want to ban fracking?  Biden going forward and Sanders completely.”

                “Yes, which will piss off Texas and Pennsylvania.  I don’t’ think the Democrats are too focused on Texas but Pennsylvania is a swing state and is what put President Trump over the edge in 2016.  Looks like they may have just conceded it.”

                ‘The Dakotas do a lot of fracking too”

                “Yes, but they don’t have many electoral votes so that won’t hurt Biden or Bernie, whoever is the nominee, much.”

                “I’m pretty sure they talked about other things.”             

                “Yea, probably but it wasn’t too memorable.  I couldn’t even tell you.”

                “Why did you watch it?”

                “I work for the White House; it’s my job to watch it.”

                “You didn’t do a very good job as you don’t remember.”

                “Like viewers last night, we were a little preoccupied with the Coronavirus.”

                “I bet so it’s good that that didn’t come up since you tried to do your homework but didn’t retain anything.”

                “That’s right!”

                Both the Hispanic and Theo laughed at this.  The girls got off at the next stop and Theo took the train back to Rockville and went home.  He decompressed a little bit and had a soda to counteract the alcohol so he would be fresh the next morning.  After that, he went to bed.