Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Theo the Trump Employee Episode 50 Changes forced by Coronavirus


                Theo has found himself in a precarious situation.  After failing miserably in the stock market despite a surging economy, he long went by the tortoise mentality rather than the hare with regards to building his finances.  He found the bank that gave him the largest interest rate for a savings account and put most of his money there and let it collect the nominal interest rate every year.  Although many shunned this, he had lost money over the years investing and realized he had learned nothing for all the lost revenue so he had given up. 

                Even though he worked at the White House and was a firm believer in the Trump economy, his money stayed in the savings account as the head of the house constantly boasted about his record high numbers.  That was until Wuhan China had contaminated food that caused a worldwide pandemic known as the Coronavirus.  The Trump economy still blew job expectations out of the water but the market had its largest single day drop since the housing bubble burst.  Still, Theo refused to buy.  Then the market shot up 1,000 points in one day and Theo had a feeling it was coming but there was a couple days lag between transferring his money from his savings to a bank that recognized his investment app to transferring it to said app.  The very next day the market tanked again for the same reason.  Finally, Theo had had enough and he initiated the transfer as more and more cases of the Coronavirus were coming out and the markets panicked more and more.  There was nine months before the election and if Donald Trump wasn’t re-elected, he could just sell everything and put it right back in savings. 

                The White House had signs everywhere telling you to wash your hands frequently and there was a no-handshake policy put into effect, which was odd for politics.  Various memos were sent that if you were feeling ill, you should stay home and try to work remotely.  People were encouraged not to have meetings with more than 10 people.  If there was a need for a large meeting, video conferencing should be set up.  Cleaning services were required to clean work places more frequently than they had before.  With all these new precautions put into effect, various people at work started worrying.  Theo, on the other hand, walked in and went about his day as if nothing happened.  One of his co-workers was commenting how scared he was and asked Theo, “How are you so quiet about this?”

                “It seems to only really affect the elderly.  I’m 35 so I’m not too worried.”

                “People have died.”

                “More people have died of the flu.  I just don’t think the panic surrounding the virus is proportional to the threat it actually is.”

                “It is deadlier than the flu.”

                “I have conflicting reports on that.  According to the Italy data, it wasn’t but I looked at the South Korea data and it has the mortality rate at 0.68%.  As a basis for comparison, Swine Flu was .02% and the actual flu is .03% on the R0 scale, which is the only one that really matters.”

                “So it’s three times more deadly!”

                “Do you work for MSNBC?  Try that math again.  .68 and .03”

                “Oh, I thought you said 0.3”

                Theo doubted that this was the case but let it go. 

                “So why aren’t you worried?”

                “For the same reason I told you before.  It’s worse, the median age in Italy of contracting was 60 and the death rate median age was 80.  I’m nowhere near that.”

                “You don’t think it’s a threat?”

                “Of course it’s a threat.  At first, I admit, I thought it was like SARS where one person died but that was before an American died from Coronavirus.  Now, American deaths are climbing so it is a threat but when the media calls it 3.4% and it’s actually 0.68, that’s called overhyping it.”

                “It’s more contagious than the flu.”

                “Much more contagious than the flu.  There’s no question but, again, I don’t think the panic justified a like 4,000 point drop in the market.”

                “If you agree it’s very contagious and it’s over 20x more deadly than the flu, why aren’t you afraid?”

                “I have no fear of dying from the flu at all.  Multiply it by 20, it’s still not a large fear because 0 times 23 is still 0.  I’m also a dork and I’m not very popular.  When the H1N1 came out, it affected popular people more than introverts for obvious reasons.  All my friends know each other.  I have the same group so given the people I associate with; it’s a more of a minor risk for me.”

                “I guess it’s good to be a weirdo then”

                “Yes, it is; especially during a pandemic.”

                After work, Theo goes to American University.  He would be going from a group where he was one of the younger ones to a group where he was the oldest one.  Somehow, he thought the young college kids would be just as scared as his co-workers.  As he enters the bar, he’s a little surprised to find it relatively full.  He sits down and orders a drink.  The bartender hands him his drink and he sits down.  A brown haired woman sits next to him.  She’s got a thick build with a smooth face and brown eyes.   Just as Theo was thinking that maybe college kids were being rational about the Coronavirus, a boy walks in and asks, “Sam?”

                “Yes” responds the girl

                “Hi, I’m Michael” as he extends his hand

                “Oh no, I don’t shake hands.”

                Michael grins and nods in understanding and just waves.  Sam had been smiling the whole time and waved back.  Michael states, “Yea, this Coronavirus is crazy right?”

                “It’s got some perks.”

                “Like what?’

                “I saw on the news that it may be Trump’s Katrina.  It proves the government is ill prepared to handle crises just like Katrina showed Bush’s incompetence, which led to Barack Obama winning.  This highlights Trump’s incompetence”

                Michael seems to contemplate this and nods, “Yea, that’s a good point.”

                Theo chimes in, “How do you figure?”  Both students are taken about by the interjection.  Theo continued, “I saw Nicole Wallace say that too and it sickens me that people can delight in people’s deaths because they don’t like the president.”

                  Sam fired back, “We’re not excited, we’re just looking for a silver lining.”

                “Oh no, I saw the segment.  Wallace was excited about it.   How can you compare a hurricane and a contagious virus?  It’s not even the same government organization.  One is FEMA and the other is the Department of Health and Human Services.  As for the response, even California Governor Newsom, who hates President Trump, had to admit that his response to the cruise ship was commendable.  Also, he called a travel ban from affected countries a month ago when Schumer and all the Democrats were calling him racist for doing so.  Who knows how many lives he saved by doing that.  Furthermore, are you trying to say that government is incompetent to solve problems?  That’s the basic tenant of conservatism; limited government.”

                “Look, I agree it’s bad but my way of dealing with it is to find a silver lining.”

                “That is not what you’re doing.  You’re politicizing it.”

                “Republicans politicize it too.”

                “How so?”

                “I saw a tweet by Chris Hayes that a Republican called it the ‘Wuhan virus.’  They used it to attack China.”

                “It’s amazing that people take China’s side over the country they live in.  Aside from that, both Politico and CNN called it the ‘Wuhan virus’ in articles.  Do you condemn them for politicizing it too and being racist toward China?”

                “No they didn’t”

                Michael looks it up in his phone and finds both articles, “Umm, he’s right, they did.”

                Sam’s shoulders slump but she declares, “You know if a Democrat was president, the Republicans would be doing the exact same thing.”

                “No, I don’t know that.  Republicans have standards and morals that Democrats lack.”

                “Fine, Trump may have stopped a cruise ship from docking and the travel ban, but he’s done nothing to treat the virus.”

                “Except he cut regulations that prohibited schools and labs from developing tests for diseases. That means he wants all hands on deck.  If you’re a scientist and you think you can figure it out, the government isn’t going to stop you anymore.”

                “I didn’t hear about that.”

                “Of course not, because you may look into who passed that regulation and you probably wouldn’t like the answer.”

                Sam gives Theo a dirty look, “Is it a president in my lifetime?”

                “Yup”

                “You’re right, I don’t want to know.”

                “But, you know Republicans could have highlighted that but they didn’t because we don’t politicize serious events like a natural disaster or a pandemic.”

                “I just don’t think people are excited about it.”

                Theo pulls up his phone and shows a screen shot of Andrea Junker taunting Trump about the market crashing and oil plummeting ending with ‘are you tired of winning yet?’”

                “That’s one person on twitter.  There’s a lot of crazy people on twitter.”

                “She has tens of thousands of followers.  It’s not just a random person.”

                “What’s your point in all this? Just to attack someone you don’t even know?  What does that say about you?”

                “I’m just saying that mocking something that destroys jobs and kills people is sick.  I don’t know how that’s a controversial point.”

                “Fine, I agree.  Are you happy now?”

                “Yes, I am actually”

                Sam walks away and Theo is surprised that Michael stayed.  As Sam’s voice was a little tense, Michael’s was calm.  He states, “I’m just glad you’re not one of these far-right people that is calling the Coronavirus ‘fake news’”

                “I am on the far-right and I literally don’t know anyone that is calling it ‘fake news.’  They just say it’s overhyped; there’s a difference.”

                “It’s amazing that three years ago, ‘fake news’ wasn’t even a term and now Trump says it like every day.”

                “The funny thing is it was originally started by leftists to explain why Donald Trump won the 2016 election.  They accused Russian troll farms of using fake news to influence the public.”

                “No, they said that Trump colluded with Russia.”

                “That’s what they stuck with.  Go watch the last season of Homeland as it talked about the fake news as defined at the time. It was Russian disinformation campaigns.  They accused the Russians of ‘fake news’ about Hillary and then President Trump, as he does so well, flipped it on them and accused them of it.  The only difference is it stuck when President Trump said it and in just a few short years, you don’t even remember when the left said it.”

                “I’m going to have to research that.”

                “Why bother?  The left has no creativity, which is odd since artists and stuff are normally liberal.  NPR just came out with a piece claiming Russian trolls have evolved their disinformation campaigns to make it harder to track.”

                Michael pulls out his phone as he determines this is easier to check.  He finds the article and looks perplexed, “Well, maybe they are.”

                “We had a three year Mueller probe that found no evidence of it.  Now, they’re just recycling a fake news story.”

                “The Russians are very sneaky”

                “Bloomberg and Tom Speyer spent almost a billion dollars on ads and got one delegate.  You’re telling me Russia can spend thousands of dollars and turn a bunch of states in a candidate’s direction?  If anything proves that Russian collusion is a hoax, it is the abject failure of Bloomberg’s campaign.”

                “Well, Bloomberg came off as very smug and arrogant in the debate so that’s why he failed.”

                “Are you suggesting that President Trump never says something he shouldn’t in public that may be construed as arrogant, bullying or smug?”

                “Or on twitter….touche.” Michael replies quietly

                “Just know that every time you see something in the mainstream media, there’s a 90% chance you’re being lied to.”

                “I’ll keep that in mind.  In the mean time, I have to go.  It was nice talking to you.”

                “Likewise”

                As he orders another drink, a redhead skinny woman comes over to him with freckled skin.  “Are you suggesting that the right never lies?”

                “Not never but they tend to use facts and data more than the left.  This is not for any moral reason but just because they are normally on our side and why would you use information that disproves you?”

                “What do you call that video of Biden endorsing Trump?”

                “Accurate.  He really did misspeak and say that.”

                “The video was doctored.”

                “No, it wasn’t.  Unless you mean that stuff was said before the clip started and after, but that doesn’t count.  When you play an excerpt of a speech, you just play a part.  They didn’t splice it.  Biden was fumbling over his words, which he does a lot, and in his lost train of thought stuttered that out.”

                “You really think Biden is endorsing Trump?”

                “That’s not the point of the video.  The point of the video is to highlight Biden’s mental status as he constantly makes gaffes.  The dude is losing it.”

                “See, that’s a low blow.  Attacking a man ‘s mental status who’s in his 70s belongs in the gutter.”

                “This man is looking to be the most powerful man in the world with the codes to our nuclear arsenal.  Questioning his mental capacity is more than fair game.”

                “Ryan Lizza disagrees with you.”

                “Ryan Lizza is a hypocrite because he attacks President Trump’s mental state all the time.”

                “Well, Trump is crazy and mentally unfit to be president.”

                “And now, you’re a hypocrite too.”

                “Like you said, the Russian collusion isn’t going away.  Christopher Steele is back and he’s defending his dossier.”

                “He’s been discredited seven ways from Sunday but since the media has nothing else, they have to help him and push his false narrative one more time.”

                “Give me an example on how he got discredited.”

                “The FBI interviewed his sources and the sources told him that Steele misrepresented what he said and accused him of lying.  They actually distinguished that some was just misrepresented but others were flat out lies as it wasn’t what they said at all.  They accused Steele of just making it up.”

                “Whatever, it’s not all they have.  The New York Times reported that Erik Prince had recruited foreign spies to go after liberal groups.”

                “Yea, Erik Prince is their favorite target.  All he did was set up a private army to assist the US military when they got bogged down by government red tape and shit.  He even sold the company and people still won’t leave him alone.  I mean, that’s what the left does.  Once they know they can get to you they never stop.  That’s why conservatives should never apologize to the libelous, scandalous, treacherous left.  Besides, that article was written by Adam Goldman.  He’s the lead collusion pusher and if people knew it was a hoax, he would probably be fired because he would have no credibility since he’s held on to it almost as long as Steele and Steele has to because it’s his work.”

                “Why go after Prince if he sold Blackwater?”

                “A few reasons: One, I just mentioned, secondly, his sister, Betsy Devoss, works in President Trump’s cabinet and they love attacking anyone connected to President Trump.  Thirdly, and probably the most important, Steele used Russian sources for his dossier.  This looks bad because he colluded with Russia to take down President Trump and used those Russian sources to accuse President Trump of colluding with Russia to take down Hillary Clinton.  In order to rectify the blatant hypocrisy of this, they have to pretend that people do this all the time and it’s not a big deal that Steele’s sources were Russian.  Personally, I think it’s a retarded argument because if people believe that narrative, then they should believe it’s not a big deal if Trump colluded with Russia to take down Hillary.  Then again, leftists love double standards and constantly engage in projection without realizing the hypocrisy so who knows, it just may work.  Considering that I’m sitting here after the Mueller report and IG Horowitz report and people are still believing the Russian collusion nonsense, I guess the public is too dumb to realize Steele’s bias and hypocrisy.”

                “You shouldn’t generalize and stereotype.”

                “That is how the brain processes information.  It’s called ‘schemas.’  Not doing that is literally impossible and shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how the brain works.”

                “Don’t talk down to me.”

                “Then say something that contains something that can be considered a rational thought.”

                The redhead’s eyes go wide and her mouth gapes open.  She scoffs and scurries away.”

                Theo closes his tab and goes to the train to take his long commute back home.  As he gets on the train, he sees a black man around his age.  He exclaims to a friend he’s with, “Hey man, did you see Fiona Hill on 60 minutes?”

                “Who’s Fiona Hill?”

                Theo interjected, “An Obama holdover that worked for the National Security Council (NSC) in the Russian department.”

                They turn to him and the same man that started asks, “Is it a problem that she’s an Obama holdover?”

                “Yes, but that’s not the main problem.  The main problem is she’s an impeachment witnesses and all of them were lying sacks of shit.”

                “Damn, with strong words like that you better be able to back them up.”

                “She pushed the Bolton narrative and even Bolton has now admitted that he only said he wanted to testify to sell his book.”

                “She just wanted witnesses.  I don’t think that warrants because a ‘lying sack of shit.’”

                “She called Ukrainian meddling in the 2016 election a Russian disinformation campaign.  It’s very well documented.  Even Politico wrote an article right after President Trump won the election that Ukraine was trying to make amends after they attempted to sabotage Trump.”

                “You don’t look like someone that believes what Politico says.”

                “I don’t.  They are definitely fake news.”

                “They can’t be real news when they agree with you and fake when they don’t”

                “They’re fake because they admitted Ukrainian meddling in our election before the Democrats accused President Trump of it.  Then, when Russia failed and the Democrats pivoted to Ukraine, they changed their story to back up the Democrats.  They are a political arm of the Democrat party.  Both positions are consistent with that theory.”

                “All you’re telling me is that they’re unreliable?”

                “Fine, you want to know how I know”

                “I do.”

                “There was a Ukrainian lawmaker named Lutsenko.  He gave a black ledger to Alexandra Chalupa of the DNC to take down Manafort and, by extension, hurt President Trump since Manafort was his campaign manager.  Now, Lutsenko admits that the black ledger was a falsified document.  He admitted it was all a hoax to take down President Trump.”

                “Well, Chalupa was a low-level person.  How much damage could she really do?”

                “Nellie Ohr of Fusion GPS admitted under oath that she got her Russian information from Lutsenko.  Her husband was the fourth highest member of the DOJ at the time.”

                “I’m thinking you’re not crazy.”

                “I’m not even finished.  Then you have Ukrainian officials taking out op-eds in newspapers and social media posts attacking Trump.  It was an all out assault, which is why they needed to try to make amends.”

                “What are Democrats supposed to do though?  Ignore the allegations?”

                “That’s what you wanted President Trump to do with Hillary information from Russia.  Besides, Telischenko, who worked at the Ukrainian embassy in Washington, has gone on the record saying that Democrats constantly came up to him to ask him if he could find dirt on President Trump.”

                “Well, look at what happened.  Trump bombed Russian special forces in Syria, he armed Ukraine so they could defend Crimea and stop Russian aggression, he didn’t repeal Magnitsky, he increased sanctions on Russia and banned Germany from building a pipeline straight to them so they could more cheaply supply Europe with oil so that Russia wouldn’t have a monopoly.  Russia benefits if Donald Trump isn’t president.”

                “Well, I’m glad you don’t think President Trump colluded with Russia.  Everything you said is true but just because Russia benefits, doesn’t mean that it’s a Russian disinformation campaign.  Sometimes you share a common enemy with someone and the enemy of your enemy is your friend.”

                “I feel you.  I just have a problem with billionaires running the country and telling us what to do.  Stephen Crowder was talking shit on YouTube but he’s a millionaire.  He doesn’t know what it’s like to struggle.  This dude, Carlos Maza is trying to demonetize him and kick him off YouTube; mad respect that someone punched that rich boy in the mouth.”

                “You do know that Carlos Maza’s parents are multi-millionaires too right?”

                “No”

                ‘Yea, they live in Boca Raton, which is where all the wealthy former-New York Jews live.”

                “Not everyone in Boca can be rich.”

                “True, but he just sold his home for $ 10.8 Million so it’s a little weird when he attacks rich people.”

                “That motherfucking phony.”

                “Yea, I agree.  There’s something about millionaires like Bernie Sanders and Carlos Maza that love socialism.  That’s how you know it’s not about distributing wealth; it’s about power.  If they cared about the little guy, they would give more money to charity.”

                “I wish Barbara Walters called Fiona Hill out on her shit.”

                “Me too but mainstream media will never do that.”

                “I guess not.”

                The train stopped and the black men got off.  Shortly after, Theo did as well and went home.  He watched some NBA basketball and then went to sleep ready to start the next day.  All that was on his mind is when his money would show up and if he was making a big mistake.  There was only one way to find out. 

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