Larry the Billionaire episode 49 Curious Case of Joe Biden and Ukraine

                Larry has flown to Los Angeles.  Even though he is not too fond of the city, he had to see something for himself and given that he’s a billionaire, frivolous travel was not uncommon for him.  As he walked the streets, he asked people what they thought about AB5.  AB5 was a bill passed two months ago that banned independent contractors.  It was done to target Uber and Lyft since taxi unions are strong in California.  What they hadn’t intended is that musical concerts, art exhibitions and journalistic publications would all be canceled or, in the latter case, stop hiring people from California.  Larry always believed this was a plot by the predominantly liberal government in California to try to increase the unemployment rate in order to hurt President Trump.  What he was trying to see is if it worked and the people blamed President Trump or if they knew the real reason for their hardship.

                As he talked to people, it was one story after another about how they or someone close to them lost their job because of AB5.  The ones that didn’t know anyone affected were upset that they could never find an Uber or a Lyft anymore.  It’s not that they were banned, it’s that Uber and Lyft would have to hire them as full time employees, which they weren’t able to do financially.  After these talks, Larry wondered the unthinkable; could Donald Trump win California?  Here he was in one of the most liberal place in California and everyone was pissed at the Democrats for what they did to him.  Would they vote Republican just to spite those that hurt them?  Larry would admit it was a long shot but he wasn’t so sure anymore. 

                Larry had a friend in Los Angeles named Lyubov who was a nurse.  Larry and Lyubov had dated in high school but since then they weren’t close as exes tend not to stay close after breaking up.  Lyubov was aware of Larry’s billionaire status and how he used it to lure women to have sex with him in exchange for high ticket items.  In fact, Lyubov had found him some potential women who needed medical care either for them or someone they care about but couldn’t afford it.  That’s where Larry came in.  He called her up and they arranged a day to have dinner. 

                Lyubov was an Ukrainian-American who stood at 5’8” with a slender build and average sized breasts and butt.  She had a natural eloquence to her that is difficult to fake.  Lyubov chose an upscale sushi restaurant and Larry obliged.  After pleasantries, Larry opined, “I’m surprised you picked an Asian restaurant.  Most people are afraid of all things Asian because of the Coronavirus.”

                Lyubov waved her hand, “Oh come on! That thing has made work a living hell.  Everyone is coming in and panicking thinking that every time they sneeze, it means they have it.”

                “It seems like the flu rebranded to me.”

                Lyubov contemplates this and responds, “That’s not entirely accurate but really not off either.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a serious threat but we’re talking about the degree of the threat.”

                “Yes, it is a threat, but it’s not worth destroying the entire economy because of it.”

                “Yes, it’s not a Doomesday event.  Everything you do is a risk.  I took a risk crossing the street or taking a cab here; the question is if it’s an unnecessary risk or a low enough risk that refraining from it wouldn’t be worth it.”

                “Like everything else in life, it’s a tradeoff.”

                “Precisely”

                “The problem is that it gets good ratings so cable news is going to continue to fuel the hysteria.”

                “And medical professionals will suffer.  We can’t even get masks anymore because people are buying them out before we can get them.”

                “I mean, about 30,000 people have already died from the flu.  The Coronavirus is only at 2,900 and that’s in China which has a bigger population than we do.  30,000 people here is like 127,000 there but no, they’re at 2,900”

                “The more you keep comparing it to the flu, the more sense it’s making. I’ll go with the analogy.  Yes, the flu is deadly for the elderly and small children yet still half of the people won’t get a flu vaccine because they don’t think the risks outweigh the benefits.  A flu vaccine is free with most medical insurance and, if you don’t have insurance, it’s like twenty bucks.  It takes about 20 minutes of your time.  Yet, people think that’s too much to ask to inoculate themselves from something that, as of right now, is 2-3 times more deadly than the Coronavirus.”

                “Coronavirus is more infectious and contagious though.”

                “Yea, but it’s not going to kill you if you’re under 50.”

                “You can’t trust Chinese data.  Communist countries are notorious for downplaying and suppressing news that makes their country look bad.”

                Lyubov gave him a dirty look and fired back, “You do remember that my parents fled the Russians in Ukraine right?”

                “Yes, I do”

                “So, yea, I know exactly what you mean but I’m not talking about Chinese data, I’m talking about Italian data.”

                “Alright, that is more reliable.”

                “The median age to get the virus is 60.”

                “Yea, it’s worse for the elderly.  Unlike the flu, it doesn’t seem to harm children too much.”

                “It doesn’t.   That isn’t my point though.  My point is, the median age to die from it is 81.”

                “So, if your 60, you probably are equipped enough to battle it and beat it.”

                “Yes, to the point that, like Pence said in the press conference, if you’re under 40 like us, you may not realize you have it.”

                Larry was 35 and Lyubov was 36.  “Let’s just hope it doesn’t mutate.”

                “It already did.  There are actually two strains of Coronavirus, L and S.  L is more aggressive and dangerous.  This is the more common one people are getting as it makes up 70% of the cases.”

                “Yet, still not more deadly than the flu yet.”

                “No, but you’re missing the point.  L cases have been declining since January.  In a way it’s good that it’s aggressive because people seek treatment and get quarantined so they don’t infect others.  Since people get treatment right away, it doesn’t spread as quickly and burns itself out.”

                “But, for those who have S, they don’t know they have it so don’t get treatment or quarantine so infect more people.”

                “Exactly.  Luckily, Donald Trump got rid of the red tape so now labs and schools can get involved in testing for diseases.”

                “One more horrible bureaucratic red tape signed by Obama that President Trump did away with.”

                “I never understood why.”

                “So that this wouldn’t happen.  He wanted to control the news and narrative about diseases.  You can’t suppress a new disease if independent laboratories and schools are discovering it and testing for it.”

                “Speaking of letting your image get in the way of your citizen’s health.”

                “Yea, Obama was very socialistic.  The funny thing is after all the talk about how travel bans are racist, you didn’t hear much of that with President Trump’s travel ban this time.  Now, if you’re travelling from South Korea, Italy and China, you are tested multiple times before you go on a plane.  I think this has helped keep it relatively rare in America.”

                “I think there’s no question that’s true.  Even his inspectors into nursing homes that usually look for abuse of care to the patients, Trump has changed the priority to treat and test for Coronavirus first and foremost.”

                “I thought you said it was overhyped.”

                “It is, but the elderly are more exposed than anyone so the nursing home thing is a good idea.  The thing is, I think that’s all we really need.  I guess the research too so we can get good tests.”

                “You’re against the 8.3 Billion dollars then.”

                “Absolutely, it just shows that the government loves throwing money away.”

                Larry picks up the check and dinner is over.  They hug good bye and then head their separate ways.  A few days later, Lyubov calls Larry who answers.  She asks, “Are you still in LA?”

                “Surprisingly yes”

                “Do you want to meet up?”

                “Of course, dinner again?”

                “Yea,” and she gave him the name of the restaurant. 

When the time came, Larry showed up and Lyubov arrived ten minutes later.  They greeted each other with a cheek to cheek kiss and sat down.  Lyubov goes into her purse and pulls out some documents and hands them to Larry.  As he takes them, he frowns thinking that this was a set up and he’s about to get bad news like being served a subpoena.  Instead, it’s medical records confirming that Lyubov is free of any STD’s and that she had an IUD inserted.  He looks up intrigued, “Is there something you want?”

“Tickets to next year’s Super Bowl.  We met in Greece and the Super Bowl is in Tampa, which is right by Tarpon Springs which is basically the Greek capital of America.”

                “That is true”

                “I know that they needed it but I’ve helped women get what they want from you and I think it’s my turn.  After all, when we dated you weren’t a billionaire and I wasn’t ready for sex.  Now, we can make up for both those issues.”

                “I agree.”

                “Good, now that that’s out of the way, are you upset that Biden retook the lead so it’ll be harder for your boy Trump to win?”

                “I’m not worried about Joe Biden.  The dude is already crying that he wants a Secret Service Detail because two people got on stage to protest his support of dairy farms.”

“Well, clearly his security wasn’t doing a good job considering they were able to get on stage.”

                “So call in the big guns?”

                “Yea, why not?”

                 “It’s worth a shot I guess.”

                “Why aren’t you worried about Biden?”

                “He’s a weak candidate.  If President Trump can’t beat him, he probably doesn’t deserve to win.  Let’s just forget all the scandals he’s involved in with Ukraine, but he’s losing it.”

                “That’s a low blow.  You can’t make fun of someone for his age.  He’s only a couple years older than Trump.”

                “Yes, but Trump doesn’t forget people’s names and mess up what state he’s in all the time.  Trump is very lucid but Biden is not.  Why can’t you question his senility?  This man is opting to become the most powerful man in the world; you best believe that a question of his mental status is highly relevant and fair.  If you can ask any question you want to a high school athlete to see if you want to give him a scholarship, you sure as hell can ask a presidential candidate about his mental fitness.”

                “Biden is lucid.  I don’t know if you remember the 2012 Vice President debate.”

                “Yes I do. He kicked Paul Ryan’s ass.  Paul Ryan spent half the debate drinking water presumably to figure out what he was going to say next to rebut him.  It was a great performance that probably helped Obama win because Romney was beating Obama in their debates.  I don’t think that’s the reason because I think Sandy contributed more than anything because right before the election, people saw Obama building sand bags on a beach in New Jersey while Romney was campaigning still.”

                “Right, so how can you not call him lucid?”

                “This isn’t the same guy as the 2012 Biden that debated Paul Ryan.  When I say he’s ‘losing it’ that implies he once had it.  I admit that he did but he doesn’t anymore.”

                “What if he’s doing what Trump did in 2016?  In order to mask one gaffe or inappropriate thing, he commits multiple ones so people get accustomed, therefore immune, to it and nobody cares on Election Day because it’s just him being him.”

                “That’s a fair point but there’s no buzz around Biden.  Bernie stirred things up and there was a buzz among his supporters.  There’s nobody too excited about Joe Biden.”

                “I hear people on the media and elsewhere defend Biden all the time.”

                “But they don’t talk about what he is or what he stands for; all they do is tell you what he isn’t”

                “Trump supporters do that.”

                “Only to justify his brashness and brutal honesty.  We explain to people the fight we’re in so we need a fighter like President Trump who may be rough around the edges, but he won’t back down when the libelous, treasonous, scandalous, treacherous liberals attack.   You don’t hear them say that ‘he’s not Obama’ you hear that Obama spied on him and used the justice department as his personal revenge service.  President Trump is ending the deep state.”

                “So, you don’t think Biden has a chance to win?”

                “Of course he has a chance.  Who know what will happen from now till Election Day.  The market already tanked. If it does that closer to November, then President Trump is in trouble but Biden is the ultimate deep state influence peddler.  He’s probably the biggest in modern politics.  Hatred for influence peddling is bipartisan.”

                “Yea, nobody likes when people get a job or a promotion they didn’t earn.  They got it by someone they know or sleeping with the supervisor or something.”

                The check comes and Larry pays it and inquires, “You ready?”

                “Lead the way”

                They drive back to Larry’s hotel and he enters first and turns around to find that Lyubov has stopped at the door.  At first, he thinks she’s backing out but the expression on her face lets him know that she’s still in; almost excited. 

                Lyubov scurries into the sex room and kissed Larry backing him toward the bed.  She shoves him onto his back and mounts him.  She rotates her hips against his groin to erect his penis.  After he was fully erect, she rotated her body so her legs were bent resting on Larry’s left side. She sat down onto his penis letting him penetrate from behind and then leaned back putting her arms back for support as her body sat perpendicular to Larry’s laid body.  Larry used one hand to caress her legs while the other fondled her breasts while Lyubov grinded her hips using her arms to lower and raise her pelvis up and down on Larry’s member.  Larry switched his hands that were on Lyubov’s breasts and scooped them under Lyubov’s knees.  He interlocked his arms under her hamstrings and lifted her upper body off his rotating himself so he was kneeling in front of her.  Larry draped Lyubov’s legs over his left shoulder and jammed his member way back behind Lyubov’s vaginal walls.  He kept his left hand on Lyubov’s leg while his right stroked Lyubov’s cheek and grabbed the back of his head as he leaned in driving Lyubov’s legs back.  He made out with her as he drove his penis deeper and deeper into her.  Lyubov moaned loudly between kisses.  Larry pulled up and Lyubov opened her eyes to see how Larry was looking at her and it bothered her.   She seemed to see that Larry was letting old feelings creep up.  As if Larry was sensing the same thing, he removed his right hand from behind her head and grabbed Lyubov’s legs twisting them turning her onto her stomach.  He wrapped his legs around both legs and interlocked his ankles holding her in place.  He reached and clasped the salt shaker and leaned over licking Lyubov’s left butt cheek.  He sprinkled salt over the moistened area and then bent down circling his tongue along her butt scooping the salt up.  He poured tequila into a shot glass and placed it in Lyubov’s anus only to grab it with his mouth and empty it.  He refilled the glass and placed it in Lyubov’s rectum again and gave equal treatment to her left butt cheek.  He kneeled up freeing Lyubov’s legs and lunged his penis into her from behind reaching around to play with her breasts as he humped her.  When Lyubov came, Larry slowly withdrew and Lyubov wrapped her leg around his midsection and shoved him onto his back.  She rotated her body to mount him and aggressively rode him.  As she did she said, “Don’t get attached” still wary about what she saw before.

            Larry reached around and grabbed Lyubov’s ass and pulled her into him as she continued to ride him harder and faster.  Now it was Larry’s turn to climax to slow down Lyubov.  She immediately dismounted him and got dressed.

                After getting dressed, she lies back in bed.  She utters, “I don’t like Biden either.”

                “Why did you defend him?”

                “I didn’t, I was taunting you that the weaker candidate was out.”

                “I’m not so sure about Bernie being the weaker candidate but whatever.  President Trump seems to be excited as he has already said he’s going to bring up Ukrainian collusion a lot since the other Democrats and media won’t.  He’s curious if he has an answer.”

                “Well, this topic is very close to me as it is my home country.  I’ve followed it very closely and even read Ukrainian newspapers about it.”

                “Care to share?”

                “Yea, I’m glad that Senator Johnson has subpoenaed Blue Star Strategies for documents.”

                “What do you think they’ll say?”

                “That they dropped Hunter Biden’s name to convince the United States government to drop sanctions or investigations into Burisma.  Burisma hired Blue Star to clear their name and they used Hunter Biden’s name to get their foot in the door to get a meeting with top US officials.”

                “The Burisma investigation was like five years ago; why is it just coming out now?  Why don’t we have these documents?”

                “A man at the Ukrainian embassy named Andrii Telizhenko refused to hand them over without a subpoena.”

                “I’m actually okay with that.  It does seem suspicious that he has something to hide.  I just wish, it didn’t take this long to get that subpoena but whatever everything about the deep state and the despicable things the Democrats did moves at a glacial pace when it comes to justice.”

                “Well, Telizhenko will be huge in that justice you’re talking about because he worked for Blue Star Strategies so he knows everything.”

                “If he stood up to the President’s pressure, then why does the media attack him so hard?”

                “He knows too much and they want to suppress and discredit him before he comes out with anything publicly.  Like you said, his gaffes may get him in trouble so the fewer distractions, the better.”

                “The only thing I know about Telizhenko is that he helped Alexandra Chalupa take down Manafort when he worked in the embassy.”

                “Then the only thing you know is false because he advised the embassy to not give Chalupa anything without a warrant or subpoena.”

                “At least he was consistent.”

                “That he was.”

                “That’s probably why everyone attacks him.  Nobody likes someone who always tells the truth.”

                “Everyone that has attacked him has never disputed any of the facts.  Sure, they use words like ‘conspiracy theory’ and ‘pouncing’ or ‘crazy’ but they say what is.”

                “Typical liberal playbook.”

                “Yea, I’m beginning to notice that.  So, Telizhenko told Yahoo news that Chalupa told him she was working at the DNC and needed his help to get dirt on Trump and Manafort.  She took him to a fancy upscale restaurant in Georgetown.”

                “We could’ve gone there.”

                “No, here is fine.  I didn’t want to go there.  I’m just commenting that it is fancy.”

                “Fair enough.  You know Chalupa denies that story.”

                “Of course she does.  Nobody admits to doing something that could potentially be criminal.”

                “It was corroborated with anonymous sources.”

                “There you go; Yahoo made it up.  That’s always what ‘anonymous sources’ means.  This crap about them being afraid for their lives and shit is retarded.  You are deified for attacking Donald Trump.”

                “And persecuted if you don’t”

                “Chalupa can’t even keep her story straight.  In her statement, she denies knowing him and then admits they were introduced for help on a story she was working on.  That means they know each other.  Furthermore, this ‘story’ she was working on was probably the dirt on Manafort and Trump, which is exactly what Telizhenko suggested.”

                “Come to think of it, the Yahoo article is filled with common misconceptions.  It uses the terms ‘conspiracy theory’ and ‘Giuliani’s man.’  These terms are used to discredit someone without discrediting any of the information; you just want to undermine him personally.”

                “I really hope he doesn’t get away with what he did in Ukraine.”

                “I don’t know how he is.  He’s on tape bragging about threatening the Ukrainian president that if he doesn’t fire their prosecutor looking into his son and Burisma, then they’re not getting the billion dollars in aid.”

                “You would think that would be enough.”

                “Instead, the media just spun it that he was talking about corruption.  That is a pretty easy sell in Ukraine.  Now, it’s just his word against the prosecutor general Shokin’s word.”

                “Not exactly”

                “What do you mean?”

                “There’s a memo from Latvian intelligence urging the Ukrainians to open an investigation into Hunter Biden.  They brought this up because their system flagged payments to Hunter from Burisma that was laundered through Belize and Ukraine in the amount of 16.6 Million dollars.  This all happened a couple weeks before Joe Biden’s infamous threat of withholding aid unless they fire the prosecutor.”

                “Was that Privatbank?”

                “Very good, you know your corrupt international banks.”

                Larry laughed, “Yea, I guess I do.  Biden made his threat at the end of February 2016.  When was this memo?”

                “Mid-February 2016 so it was right before Biden coerced resident Porochenko to fire Shokin.”

                “Just to play Devil’s Advocate, what if Ukraine just ignored Latvia?  I don’t know how close they are of allies.”

                “Very close but there are documents that Shokin planned to interview Hunter Biden in March 2016.  That interview never happened because he was fired before he could.”

                “Shokin has been very adamant he was dismissed because he wouldn’t drop the Burisma investigation.”

                “If it wasn’t on the up and up, he wouldn’t care people knew this.”

                “I agree.  Hunter Biden, though, just can’t get out of his dad’s way.”

                “Well, he didn’t know his dad would be running for president to unseat a Republican in five years.  Everyone knew that once Obama’s time was over, it was time for Hillary.”

                “I don’t mean about Burisma and China and all the other influence peddling Joe Biden did for his family when he was Vice President.”

                “Then what are you talking about?”

                “Hunter Biden just applied for a job at UCLA law school to teach a course on drug policy.  During his pitch, he name dropped like a mother fucker about what speakers he can bring in.  They were all people he knew through Joe.  He’s pulling this shit now that his dad is running for president and Republicans can’t wait to use Hunter’s high level appointments and enormous wealth he received because his last name is Biden.  He even admitted in an interview that Burisma or China never would have looked at him if his last name wasn’t Biden.”

                “Name dropping isn’t illegal though.”

                “It’s not but everyone hates it.  People like fairness.  They know life isn’t fair but they still don’t like when unqualified people are rewarded.  I hated when I worked for Bloomberg and hot chics got promoted over me because they fucked the supervisors on their first day there.  People don’t like when the owner’s kids work at the company and start at the top.  Just because it’s not illegal, doesn’t mean that it’s not bad politically.”

                “You’re right.”

                Lyubov turned her back and announced, “I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.”

                Larry turned his back to her and closed his eyes.  Lyubov turned back, grabbed Larry’s arm and pulled it over her midsection as she turned his back once again and rested his hand on his stomach.  Larry slid his other arm under her neck as an extension of the pillow and felt Lyubov’s body relax.  They both closed their eyes and went to sleep. 

                The next day, they had breakfast together before Lyubov went home.  When the time came, Larry and Lyubov flew to Tampa and met up to watch the Super Bowl together.