Nouno the Vigilante Episode 51 Follow the timeline

 

 

Idris Abdus Salaam is a 33-year-old truck driver from Durham, North Carolina.

His route has taken him on Interstate 40 that stretches all the way to San Diego, CA.  Idris is nowhere near the west coast as he’s only crossed one state line when he pulls into a rest area and stops at the Pilot Travel Center 11 miles east of Knoxville, TN.  Being in Knox county near a city make this stop a high trafficked area even though most people couldn’t tell you where Strawberry Plains, TN was.        As a truck driver, Idris is used to driving long hours so the six hour drive shouldn’t have been too taxing on him.  For whatever the reason though, Idris was about to snap.  He takes out a knife that he always carried and kills three employees at the Pilot Travel Center named Joyce Whaley, Patricia Denise Nobbe and Netter Spencer.  They are all older than Idris as they are 57, 51 and 41 respectively.  As he was on his killing spree, a customer was near the counter and Idris didn’t discriminate as he attacked her as well.  Although the customer was wounded, she would make a full recovery, which meant she was able to give the description to the police officers.  Idris was unremorseful as he got into his truck and drove off.

 

South of I-40 on the west coast is where Nouno and Abby reside.  The married couple had been pretty busy over the last year pivoting from minute men defending the border to being vigilantes for criminals that law enforcement and courts are too politically correct to prosecute.  Abby looks at the news and begins hearing about how people are dying because they are putting bleach on their foods and over-disinfecting things or committing suicide due to job loss or gaining a substance abuse problem.  For the last two months, her and her husband have been debating the merits of shutting down the country over a virus.  At first, Abby thought that the shut down was a good idea but with each passing day, she is beginning to see her husband’s point of view that they’re doing more harm than good.  She sighs and looks over, “Well, the numbers keep going down, hospitals are mostly empty, I think it’s safe to say that you may have had a point.”

“Ah, so you’re beginning to come to the dark side.  You’re realizing that the extended lockdown is the greatest public policy calamity in human history?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“What was worse?”

“I don’t know but that just seems hyperbolic.”

“Give it a couple more weeks. You’ll come around just like have from a month ago.”

Abby gave Nouno a dirty look, “This is why it’s exhausting to debate with you.  You’re a very sore winner.”

Nouno smiled, “I keep trying to tell you that I’m always right but you never believe me.”

“That’s because you’re not!”

“If you say so.  Besides, states are beginning to open up so the problems will be alleviated so in a couple weeks I won’t have a different opinion because we’ll be closer to normal”

“The states are opening up in stages.  That means they still think it’s safer to be closed they just don’t want to continue to trample freedoms.”

“The problem is people’s depression caused by losing their jobs or being couped up in the house.  The more they can get out, the better it’ll be.”

“Oh no that’s not the only problem.”

“What else is there?”

“According to Tyson Food, since they’ve had to close factories, the food supply is being disrupted and soon there’s not going to be any meat in the grocery store.”

“How is a food factory not an essential business?”

“It could be from fear of the virus or a general economy problem.”

“Where are they from?”

“Iowa”

“They have 136 deaths.  That’s nothing.  They should open fully so we can all have food.”

“Well, I’m glad that you agree that nobody should go outside unless they produce something you want then let them die to provide.”

“Aren’t you the one that has always said this isn’t as lethal as people think it is?”

“Yes, I’m going by what you think.”

“I told you that I’m coming around to see your point so you can’t go by what I used to think.”

“Fair enough but I’m asking you since my overall premise is that the reaction to the virus is worse than the virus itself. Do you think that people may die if they don’t have food?”

“Obviously”

“So, when people say ‘shut it down or die,’ it really seems to be vice versa.”

“Is this the bullshit about how liberals are all projectionists and everything they accuse conservatives of they are guilty of themselves” Abby’s tone was mocking

“Yes, and I continually get proven right.”

“Look at New York though.  Think how bad they would have been if they didn’t shut down.”

“You can’t prove a counter-factual but there’s an interesting article about an ER doctor in the Bronx.  It’s a poorer community so they didn’t social distance as much.  The doctor admits that there was two weeks when they were swamped but then it died down considerably.  The doctor’s worry is that people are now afraid to go to the hospital because they don’t want to catch the Wuhan Virus so people that have other serious diseases are staying home and dying because they’re too scared to go to the hospital.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

“The Bronx ER went from an average of 240 patients a day to 100 now.  As of March 30, there were 6,537 ambulance calls a day and now it’s down to 3,000.  You see, even New York isn’t as bad as Cuomo makes it out to be.  He just wants a federal bailout for the decades of fiscal irresponsibility in his state.”

“Well, before the nation opens up and gas prices start going up again, we should take advantage of the cheap flights.”

“Are you saying we have a case?”

“Yes I am.”

“Where?”

“Durham, North Carolina.”

“Alright”

Abby books the flight and when the time comes, they are on a flight to North Carolina.  While on the plane, Nouno iterates, “Wow, the Tara Reid allegations are really heating up.”

“Now, now, now, you can’t support and believe Tara Reid when you were so dismissive of Blasey Ford.”

“Like hell I can’t.  When I say it’s heating up, I mean that people are corroborating her story.  Her mother was interviewed in 1995 by Larry King and announced the allegation.  One of her neighbors, who’s a Biden supporter by the way, told investigators that they remembered Tara Reid telling them about the assault.”

“It just seems like a double standard.”

“You just want there to be a double standard.  I am very consistent.  I don’t believe people or a group of people, I believe evidence and the fact is Tara Reid has more evidence than Christine Blasey-Ford.”

“Didn’t she say that she told her friend?”

“Yes, she did say that.  They then asked the friend and the friend said that she doesn’t know what Christine is talking about and has no recollection of this.  Furthermore, she said that various Senate Democrats pressured her into corroborating the story.  If you want to talk about who had the courage in that situation, it was Christine’s friend who stood up against the vitriolic pressure she was getting and told the truth despite the pressure.”

“If there was any truth to it, I don’t think Kamala Harris would want to be his Vice President.”

“Interesting that during the debates Harris was all about this case and attacked Biden on the issue.  Now, she wants to be his running mate?  She all of a sudden believes Joe Biden and doesn’t want to comment on whether he should drop out because of the allegations.  What caused the about face?”

“People change their minds.”

“Indeed they do but they always have a reason as to why.  For instance, you were in favor of the lockdowns and then you heard the negative psychological affects it was having on people and you realized the fatality rate isn’t as bad as we thought so you changed your mind.  See, you can give a reason as to why.  Harris didn’t do that.”

“I just think men need to stand up because too many women are sexually assaulted and it needs to be stopped.”

Nouno was 36-years-old and Abby was 27.  Although they technically are considered millennials, Nouno always felt he was a different generation than her.  He shot back, “That’s the problem with your generation, you think everything is sexual assault.  If someone says you look cute today, you claim you were molested.  Words like ‘sexual assault,’ ‘rape’ and ‘molest’ used to mean something.”

“Look, I know this is a sensitive topic for you because you’ve been falsely accused of sexual assault three times but you need to fucking get over that.  None of them went to the cops.  All of them admitted they were lying and there were no ramifications.  Stop wearing it like a fucking badge of honor.”

“It’s fucked up.”

“Yes, it is but at least they didn’t make it worse by going to the authorities on it.  It’s almost like they knew they were full of shit.”

“That reminds me.  Hawaii Senator Maize Hirono gave a similar anti-men speech saying they needed to stand up and believe women but we’ve heard crickets from her about the Biden case.”

Abby rolled her eyes, “And we’re back.”

“What?  You told me to move on so I am.”

“The problem is you haven’t.  Anyway, Chris Hahn on Fox had an interesting point.  Kavanaugh was a lifetime appointment so it mattered more than Biden.”

“Let me get this straight: evidence doesn’t matter if it’s a lifetime appointment but you need evidence only if it’s an election?  Will you say that when a Democrat is president and they appoint a judge?  Can any random woman just accuse him or her of rape without a shred of proof because it’s a lifetime appointment?”

Abby’s shoulders slouched and she closed her eyes in frustration.  “I suppose not.” she responded with sass in her voice.  Then added, “Bottom line is, Biden would be a better president than Trump.”

“How do you figure?  What is his vision of the country?”

“He thinks we should have given people more money.  So far, the GOP senate is blocking the four trillion dollar infrastructure bill.”

“Again, so we’re clear.  We have Trump’s plan that is to lower taxes and cut regulations so people can keep more of their money in the first place and be allowed to grow unencumbered.  Biden’s plan is to spend Trillions of dollars and give people a bigger stimulus check but he is going to raise taxes and do his best to take it all back from you.  I guess it wouldn’t really be a stimulus because in order to stimulate, you have to spend the money.  Then, he’s going to ask for it back and you’re not going to have it.  How does that make sense again?”

“I’m not going to argue for higher taxes but this America first thing is xenophobic.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of you can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself.  Remember before this plane took off, they had that safety demonstration.  What did they say?  Oh yea, put your mask on first before helping someone else with theirs.  Why is that?  Do you not care about your child or the person needing help?  Also, did you actually hear what Biden said when he was talking about that?”

“How the world collapsing because we don’t help them means that America first means America is alone and it hurts economic intercourse.” Abby replied with a smile

“Can the guy get through one interview without losing his train of thought, stumbling over his words or stuttering?”

“Just remember you supported Bush.”

“Bush never lost his train of thought or forgot what city he was in.  I don’t remember if he had a sister but if he did, he would be able to recognize her over his wife.  He may mess up sayings every now and then but, like I said, it was every now and then.  At this point, it’s shocking when Biden doesn’t mess up.  In fact, I’m not sure I’ve seen him not mess up any speech since he became a nominee.”

“He may be replaced.”

“I think you might be right about that.  I’m curious how that will go.  Bernie supporters will be pissed because they already think that the DNC stole the nomination from Bernie again.  Biden supporters will be upset because it’s like their pick didn’t matter.  I know the Democrats shouldn’t be able to keep a straight face with any of their hypocrisy but how do you tell your constituents that all the primaries don’t matter, we pick this guy and to hell with who you picked?”

“When you’re opponent is Trump, Democrats are more forgiving.”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

The plane lands in Durham and they check into their hotel.  As Nouno prepares the room for what is about to transpire, Abby furiously checks social media to find Idris’ habits.  Abby smiles, “Wow, this guy’s a moron.”

“Don’t judge truckers.  They’re the ones that kept society running during this pandemic.”

“I agree but every group has some bad apples and he is one of them.”

“Why is he a moron?”

“He’s all over social media bragging about Civil disobedience.  He gets food and eats it in his truck.”

“I think that’s actually legal”

“Exactly!”

“Wait, he drives a semi?”

“Yup”

“So, he’s eating in the cargo area or the driving area?”

“Cargo”

“This might be our easiest case”

“Especially since truck drivers are pretty horny.”

“He killed two women mind you so I don’t think he discriminates.”

“Well then, I guess you’ll just have to intervene if my feminine charm doesn’t work.”

“Wait, it’s possible for it not to?”

“In theory but I just can’t recall it ever happening.”

Abby was an extremely attractive woman with curves and short blond hair with thick lips that spread into an infectious smile.  The plan was quite straight forward and they headed out.  When they got to Idris’ truck, Abby banged on the truck door and announced, “I know you’re in there.  I brought beer.  I’ve been dying to have a drink with someone but everyone’s too much of a pussy to have me over or come over to my place.  I miss going to a bar and getting drunk and having some guy take me home and fuck the shit out of me.”

The door flung open and Idris had a ravenous look on him.  Abby was smiling and that’s all Idris was focused on so he didn’t realize the needle in her hand that shot to his neck collapsing him just as Abby’s smile retreated.  Nouno grabbed the keys from Idris’ pocket and closed the door to the cargo area and got into the driver’s side.  Abby followed in their rental car and they drove till there were no street lights and then Nouno pulled the car over.  They loaded Idris into the trunk of their rental car and headed back to their hotel.  When Idris woke up, he saw pictures of two women and a man but he didn’t know who they were.  Nouno saw the confusion on his face and said, “Do you recognize them?”

“What happened?  Where am I?”

“You are on your death bed.  You are here because you killed the people in the pictures.”

“What are you FBI?  After the dossier debacle, why do you think he has any credibility?”

“Do you think that the FBI straps you down and threatens to kill you?  They normally arrest you.”

“They also normally don’t lie about something as simple as when they received a document.  You feds are still claiming you didn’t see the dossier until September 2016.”

“Not FBI but I do agree with you except it’s a play on words.  It’s possible they didn’t see the actual document until September but since they were talking to the authors the whole time, namely Christopher Steele, they didn’t need to read the dossier for the information because they were getting it from Steele himself.”

“It’s what they used to open Crossfire Hurricane.  It had nothing to do with Papadopoulos”

“Well, the dossier kind of proves that.”

“How so?”

“The dossier is a series of memos.  Memo #94 is dating July 19.  Oddly, memo #95 is not dated.  In fact, it is the only undated memo in the entire dossier.  It seems a little suspicious.  Now, we know that Memo # 97 is dated July 30 so that means 95 was written between July 19 and July 30.”

“What about memo #96?”

“I don’t know that one.  It might be classified.  The article I read skipped it but didn’t say why.”

“What does 95 say?”

That was the one that talks about Carter Page being a key figure in Spygate and meeting with Russians and accepting bribes.”

“None of which turned out to be true.”
                “Obviously; he was meeting with Russians as a CIA informant and doing it at their request and that bribe to help lift sanctions was worth over a billion dollars so that doesn’t make any sense either.”

“Interesting this happened three days before they opened Crossfire Hurricane.”

“A lot of things happened that week.  July 28 is a pretty big day in the Spygate drama”

“I’m not too good at dates.”

“Luckily for you, I am.  Steele’s FBI handler was an agent named Gaeta.  On July 28, Gaeta sent two memos to the assistant in charge in the New York field office and told them to shield it from headquarters.  Stephen Somma, who the dossier calls source # 1, worked at the FBI New York field office.”

“You know you people didn’t shield anything from Headquarters!”

“Again, I’m not an FBI agent.  There is, however, evidence that the New York field office did tell headquarters because FBI lawyer Lisa Page that worked on Spygate said in sworn testimony that Gaeta became Steele’s handler on July 16.”

“Well that doesn’t mean she knew.  She just knew that he was his handler.  Who was that Somma guy?”

“He was the FBI handler for Stefan Halper”

“You’re kidding me?  He also worked at the FBI field house in New York; the only FBI office that the FBI is admitting had the dossier early?  How convenient that Steele and Halper’s handlers work at the same office.”

Abby chimed in, “I’m sorry, I thought we were here to kill a murderer.  Just out of curiosity though, why is it significant that these two agents worked in the same office?”

Idris rejoined, “Halper was a CIA spy and he taught an intelligence seminar at Cambridge in London with Richard Dearlove who was Steele’s boss and vouched for him.  Halper lured George Papadopoulos, Sam Clovis, Carter Page and Paul Manafort to London so it would be easier to spy on them.  They were targeted because they worked on the Trump campaign.”

“If he lured Papadopoulos there then Crossfire Hurricane could still have been opened because of what he told the Australian diplomat.”

Nouno countered, “The Papadopoulos tip was in May.  What makes more sense: the investigation was open two months after getting a tip or right around when all these FBI agents are meeting with Christopher Steele?”

“I’m just saying it’s possible.”

“If it was about Papadopoulos, then why was the FISA on Carter Page?”

Abby hesitated a moment then shrieked raising her hands in the air, “Who the fuck cares?  Just kill the murderer already!”

The trucker stated, “You know, you mentioned the Page testimony.  I remember when Gawdy was questioning her on why they opened the investigation on a Sunday.  Page told them that they got it Thursday or Friday.”

“And the good Senator from South Carolina can do math and asked about Thursday as it was the 28^th.”

“Page’s response was, “Right, thank you.”

“Tell me again how the FBI New York office shielded the dossier from headquarters?”

“No, you’re on to something.  Page was an FBI lawyer on Crossfire Hurricane and she admitted under oath that they got the dossier on July 28.”

“It gets even more fun when you realize that Hillary Clinton knew about it.”

“Of course she knew about it! She paid Fusion GPS who hired Steele.”

“Yes, but we actually have evidence she knew about this specific correspondence with the FBI.  Remember, she’s the mob boss for her mob AKA the United States DOJ, which includes the CIA and FBI.”

“What are you getting at?”

“On July 28, there’s that date again, Clinton’s staffer Robby Mook went on the air on one of the fake news networks and talked about the DNC hack and how the Russians stole e-mails and were releasing them the day before the convention to help Donald Trump.  The problem is that information only exists in the dossier so he had to have seen it if he knew that.”

“If you know this and I know this, then what the fuck is Durham and Barr doing?”

“Democrats are above the law.”

“No shit.  We should take care of this.”

“Well, you can’t do anything about it because you’ll be dead.”

“Oh come on!  We’ve been having a nice conversation.  You can’t kill me now.”

Nouno took Idris’ knife and drilled it into Idris’ chest killing him instantly as he declared, “Actually, I can.”

They wrap the body and head to a crematorium they had staked out earlier.  They break in and activate the machine loading Idris in it and leaving.  They leave the premises knowing that the machine takes a couple hours to work.  As they pull the car over on a side street, Nouno utters, “Did you hear the Pentagon confirmed that there was a UFO sighting by military pilots?”

“You believe in aliens now?”

“I didn’t say aliens, I said UFO.  That’s just an unidentified flying object.  It doesn’t necessarily mean aliens, we just haven’t identified it.”

“You know that’s bullshit right?”

“The Pentagon said the video was authentic.  This little black object is flying against 120 knot winds and going faster than the plane is.  It then starts rotating and the pilots are amazed.  If anyone knows what’s usual to see in the sky, it’s an airline pilot.”

“When you say this shit, it makes me question your deep state and political commentary.”

“I think I’ve been pretty convincing on that.”

“I agree but now I know you’re prone to conspiracy theories.”

“What’s your argument?”

“The military doesn’t want lay people to know the devices they have.  The weapons that we know about are like 20 years old.  It’s better not to let your enemies know what your capabilities are and keep them guessing.  Once people report on these things, the Pentagon can think it’s a compliment that lay people believe that it’s impossible to do what the object is doing.  Then, whoever designed it, in this case the US military, can pat themselves on the back that they created something that people deem impossible and too advanced for mankind.”

Nouno’s jaw opened and then closed.  His eyes darted back and forth as he contemplated a counter.  Finally, he conceded, “Well, it was pretty cool.”

“Duly noted” Abby replied with a grin

They talked for a little while longer and then went back to the crematorium to dispose of the remains.  After they finished, they returned to the hotel and flew out the next day.  On the plane, Nouno shook his head, “Damn, the media is so fucking predictable.”

“What now?”

“The Washington Post wrote when Kavanaugh was being confirmed that they had explosive new evidence that demanded an investigation now because it’s so serious.  Compare that to now when they write that Trump allies highlight new claims regarding allegations against Biden.  There’s no call to action.  No demand for an investigation.  Just that Republicans are pouncing on poor old Biden who has dementia.”

“That is true.”

“Yes, but that’s not the story.  It’s merely a story.  Why didn’t they say Democrats highlights new claims regarding Kavanaugh?  Instead, they had to jump on the outrage wagon.  Where’s the outrage now?”

“It’s their choice what to get outraged about.”

“Right, sexual assault is only outrageous when you’re accusing a Republican but if you’re accusing a Democrat than we need to pause and reflect and see if the woman led him on or what she was wearing.”

Abby glared at Nouno who grinned back.  “That’s not funny” she opined

“I know exposing liberal hypocrisy is sensitive to you Democrats.  I got another one for you.  How about Olivia Nuzzi asking the president that if a president loses more Americans in a couple weeks than in the Vietnam War, should he be re-elected?”

“I’ll admit it’s an attacking question but it’s not hypocritical.”

                “It is when you add that these same people yelled at anyone that compared the Wuhan virus to the flu.  Do you believe that comparisons to the flu are not fair because they’re two different diseases but the Vietnam War is a fair comparison?”

                “I admitted it was a stupid question.” Abby snapped

                “No you didn’t, you said it was an attacking question.”

                “Fine, it’s a stupid question.  There now are you happy?”

                “Actually yes”

                There was a brief silence and then they landed back in Arizona.  They head back to their house and decompress and go back to the stay at home orders hoping that the nation will open soon. 

 

Nouno the Vigilante Episode 49 Wrongful Penetration

                In Bloomington, Minnesota 14-year-old Katie is out with some friends at the Mall of the Americas.  While walking, a man coming from the opposite direction turns to her as they pass each other and says, “Yo, Mamacita, you’re beautiful.”

                Katie smiles and blushes a little bit at the attention.  As she has just entered high school, she has already started thinking about doing more adult things but even though her friends seem eager, she is a little hesitant.  She turns and looks at who made the comment but the fact that the man was also turning to look at her made her even more embarrassed. 

                Julian Alcaide Lopez is 37-years-old and at the Mall of the Americas as it is a prime hunting ground.  Not having grown up in America, Julian does not have the stigma of statutory rape rules inherent in American culture.  What he has found living in Minnesota, is that high school girls believe themselves to be too mature for high school boys so look for older men.  It is this theory that Julian wants to exploit for when he was in high school; he could never get the attention of the more attractive girls in his class.  At 5’4” 135 pounds, he was considered too short for a lot of girls who all looked for taller men.  Even if he was taller than a girl, they still wanted taller and older men.  At least now he had one thing going for him; he was older thus they believed him to be more mature.  As he walked by he saw a cute red headed girl with an hour glass shaped body with big breasts and a nice firm butt.  He called out to her as he passed and waited a moment before turning around.  If she looked back, he knew he had her.  As he did with a smile, his brown eyes and thin mustached face locked with the brown eyed girl.  He turned around and walked over, “I see you looking at me.  My name is Julian”

                “Katie”

                Katie puts her hand out but Julian opens his arms and Katie lets him hug her.  As they let go, Katie feels a slight graze of his hand along her butt and thinks to say something but given that it wasn’t an actual squeeze figures it was just an accident.  He asks, “I’d like to take you out to dinner. you want to go?”

                “Well, we were off to see a movie.”

                “I like movies.”

                “Well, you can come with us if you want.”

                “I’d love to thank you.”

                As they are walking, Julian looks at her skirt wave back and forth as she walks.  Julian pays for her ticket and gets popcorn for the both of them to share.  During the movie, Julian puts his arm around her and she scoots in closer.  It’s not long into the movie that Julian takes his hand off her shoulder and puts it on her leg.  Using the other arm, he takes advantage that Katie has the popcorn in her lap and goes to grab some.  As he does that, his other hand slips up her skirt and rubs her thigh and his fingers trace the outline of her underwear.  Katie whispers, “Stop! Way too fast.”

                “No, it’s not.  You know you want it.”

                “No I don’t; stop”

                “You wouldn’t want to make a scene with all these people and ruin the movie for them.”  He asserts as his fingers slip under her underwear and are now penetrating her.”

                Katie’s eyes widen in shock.  Her eyes look over at a smiling Julian with a pleading look.  She’s still whispering but trying to be as stern as possible, “This is so inappropriate!  Stop! Don’t touch me.”

                “I hope you know how bad I can hurt you and your friends.  You invited me here.  You let me buy the tickets.  You owe me access to your body.  Otherwise, you’re just a fucking tease.”

                Katie grabs his wrist and yanks at it trying to pull his hand out of her and Julian responds by grabbing her left knee in his other hand squeezing on the pressure point.  Katie gasps in pain as tears stream down her face.  “Please stop” she tries since being stern didn’t work.

                Finally, Katie stands up and walks the opposite way apologizing to people saying she has to go to the bathroom.  Julian grabs at her arm but she slaps it away and the sound of the slap frightens him enough to release long enough for her to get away.  He looks around but it doesn’t seem like anyone noticed.  He waits a couple minutes then exits the movie himself.  Katie went straight to the bathroom to cry in a stall but luckily Julian wasn’t coming after her. He was leaving for he had a feeling what was coming next. 

                It took about seven minutes before Katie composed herself and exited the bathroom.  As she slowly walked down the aisle she sat in an empty seat so she wouldn’t have to bother anyone as she pushes through.  It was too dark for her to realize that Julian had left.  When the movie was over, she got her things and got a ride to the police station where she filed a complaint. 

 

                Over 1,600 miles southwest in Arizona, Nouno and his wife Abby are watching a show.  They quickly lose interest and Abby is on social media and talking to her husband.  She remarks, “Hey babe, the New York Times claims….”

                “I don’t give a shit about the New York Times” Nouno interrupts.

                “You’re not going to even listen to what it is before you call it fake?”

                “No need, they’re incapable of telling the truth.  They recently admitted that the reason they changed the headline about Tara Reid accusing Biden of inappropriately touching her is because the Biden campaign told them to.  I mean, I always knew that the media was a leftist propaganda arm but now they’re actually admitting it.”

                “No, that’s what honest journalists do.  If they print something that is false and they are corrected; they issue a correction.”

                “That isn’t what happened.  Even the editor admitted that they didn’t they make a factual mistake, they just thought the phrasing was awkward.”

                “There you go.  They just reworded it.”

                “The article took a sentence that said there was no evidence from other staffers of sexual misconduct aside from hugging, kissing and excessive touching that made them uncomfortable and changed it to there was no evidence from other staffers about sexual misconduct.  Do you think those two sentences are the same?”

                “Well, no, but….” Abby trailed off

                “But what?  Then when they asked him how they justify waiting two weeks after Reid’s complaint to even comment on the story and reported right away on Kavanaugh, he declares that Ford’s accusations were already in the public forum in a large way but nobody knows about Tara Reid.”

                “Nobody does know about Tara Reid”

                “Because the media ignored her accusations!  The only reason everyone knew Ford’s accusations is because the media gave her a platform and a megaphone.  A courtesy they didn’t give Reid despite how the Me Too movement and others claims ‘believe women.’”

                “Well, you said the editor of the New York Times was Carlos Slim but it’s actually Dean Baquet.”

                “How is that relevant?  Slim owns the paper and Baquet is the editor.  I’m not sure the confusion.  Back to the issue, how come the New York Times didn’t make any edits to their reporting when the Trump campaign repeatedly told them that the Russian collusion narrative was a hoax?”

                “Well, he was running for president and Kavanaugh was going for Supreme Court Justice.  Those are very high positions with a lot of power so it’s better to check every story.”

                “Biden is running for president in case you missed that.”

                “Well yea, but, whatever, we have a case.”

                “Where to?”

                “Don’t get mad”

                “Minnesota again?”

                “Look, when they stop sexually assaulting little kids, we’ll stop going there.  Besides, 122 people have died from Coronavirus here and only 70 have died in Minnesota.”

                “Why do I have to explain this every time?  Pure numbers don’t mean anything.  Arizona has 3,705 cases.  That means on a death by cases basis, we’re at 3.29%.  Minnesota, on the other hand, despite their vaunted Mayo Clinic, is 4.24%.”

                “Look, you think percentages matter, I think pure numbers matter.  1,650 cases is like a third of ours.”

                “Numbers are meaningless if you have nothing to compare it to.  Do you want to know contagion rate?”

                “No, I don’t”

                As Nouno looks at his data, he frowns.  “Okay fine, I won’t tell you.”

                Abby caught it and replies, “Based on that look, now I want to know.”

                “Arizona’s contagion rate is 8.8% but Minnesota is 4.29%.”

                “I think you’re trying to say that Minnesota is safer.”

                “No, I’m saying you’re less likely to get it in Minnesota but if you do get it, you’re more likely to die.  Damn, when you take population into account, everything is better in Minnesota.  Cases per capita is 0.05% here but 0.03% in Minnesota.  Minnesota is actually the lowest in the country!  The death rate, similarly, 0.0018% in Arizona but 0.0013% in Minnesota.”

                “I think, what you’re trying to say, is that I’m right.”

                “Yes, but not for the reasons you thought.”

                “Doesn’t matter; I was right.  I booked us a flight.”

                “I just think you’re enjoying cutting dicks off.”

                Abby and Nouno were vigilantes who went around the country killing people that the justice system refused to prosecute for politically correct reasons.  They had a policy that child rapists would be castrated and the cause of death would be suffocation as their own genitalia was shoved down their throat and gagged until they ran out of air.  Abby retorted, “I don’t think this one qualifies.”

                “Isn’t it objective?  If they raped a child yes; if not; no.  What’s the confusion that caused you to say ‘I think’”?

                “You really need to stop focusing on every word I say and just take the whole statement.”

                “You know I don’t do that.”

                “Well, the girl he molested was 14.  That’s not really a child.”

                “Isn’t under 18 a child?”

                “I guess technically but I think of 12 and under.”

                “So, if they get a kid’s menu at a restaurant then you cut the dicks off?”

                “Yes”

                “Are you just saying that because you lost your virginity in high school?”

                “Low blow”

                “Alright fine.  I’m sorry.  I don’t really care anyway.  I have no problem killing the asshole.”

                “You know, we’re not all nerds like you that enjoy playing with spread sheets all day!” she snapped angrily.

                “I said I was sorry.  Speaking about spreadsheets though, I’ve been running some numbers about this Wuhan Virus.”

                Abby rolled her eyes, “Of course you were.”     

                “The data shows no correlation between the speed in which states shut down and deaths or cases.”

                “That’s because some states have like no one living in them.”

                “Even if you only take the 15 most populous states; there is no correlation whatsoever.”

                “Maybe you want to look at all your percentages before making any claims.”

                “Sure, in the seven states that didn’t shut down at all, their contagion rate is 6.47%, which is a fraction of the country as a whole, which is 20.92%.  The death per cases number is much lower than any of the other groups I’ve been tracking like Republican Governor or Democrat Governor or whether it’s a state Trump won or Hillary won.  The lowest of those is states that Trump won, which is 3.46% compared to 1.51% for the states that didn’t shut down.  That’s a 195% higher and that’s the lowest.  If you look at Democrat governor states, the highest, it’s 4.43%.  Case per capita is almost half of the next lowest and deaths per capita is a third below the next lowest, which would be GOP governors by the way for both.”

                “I’m sorry I asked.”

                “Did you see the Trump presser?”

                “No”

                “He just played a montage of how the media downplayed the threat of Wuhan Virus in January and February absolutely obliterating their narrative that they knew and President Trump did nothing.”

                “Oh right, I did hear about that.  CNN called it propaganda”

                “The video was of them.  He just replayed their own stuff back to them.”

                “Cut in a way to make them look bad.”

                “Yes, accurately portraying what they said in January and February, which exposes their lies now.”

                “What does he gain by doing that?”

                “Remember when the media misquoted him saying he called the Wuhan Virus a hoax when he really said that the media coverage of it is a hoax?”

                “I remember that’s how you defended it.”

                “Well, this proves that he was right.  This is hoax 3; Trump knew about the Coronavirus threat but did nothing.  Just like the other two hoaxes; Russian collusion and quid pro quo with Ukraine, it’s simply not true.”

                “Right, it’s always the media’s fault.”

                “No, this time it’s not.  It’s the WHO (World Health Organization)’s  They’re the ones who denied it.  Now, WHO officials are coming out claiming they were suspicious but they were silenced by their superiors. “

                “Sounds like Monday morning quarterbacking to me.”

                “I agree.  I’m just saying that China covered this up by silencing and arresting Wuhan doctors that tried to sound the alarm and then strong armed the WHO to promote their false propaganda and misinformation.”

                “Then your problem with the media is not that they were wrong but that they claim they were right and Trump was wrong?”

                “Yes, everyone was wrong because China and the WHO lied to the world.  Even the wonderful Dr. Fauci was confused.  He called the travel ban ‘overkill’ in February.  On March 8, he was saying that if you’re young, there’s no reason not to go on a cruise.  He recommended the elderly should refrain but that’s okay.”

                “He did say domestic travel wasn’t a problem on March 15.”

                “He did”

                “Yet, we’re on a plane so it seems like we still believe that.”

                “Nobody is on the plane or in the airports.  It is probably the safest place because social distancing is easy.”

                They land in Minneapolis and Abby inquires, “When you say the seven states that didn’t shut down, which were they?”

                “Utah, South Dakota, North Dakota, Nebraska, Wyoming, Iowa, and Arkansas.”

                “You do realize that combined those states only have one major professional sports team.”

                “What’s your point?”

                “There are no big cities!”

                “So what, the argument is that you shut down or die.  That’s not true.”

                “Whatever, let’s just go to the hotel.”   

                They check into the hotel and Abby hacks into Julian’s social media account to pinpoint his location.  Nouno always wondered why the police couldn’t do exactly what she was but then figured that they could they just didn’t, which necessitated them in the first place.  She looks up, “Okay, I know where he lives.”

                “This stay at home order is making it easy to know where people are.”

                “Yea, but it’s easier to nab someone when they’re out drinking or doing stuff.”

                “What’s the plan?”

                “Same as always.”

                “Break into his house and hope he doesn’t have a shotgun?”

                “No, I admit that last time your worry that he has home field advantage almost cost us.  The ‘same’ part is we’re going to do it at his house since he lives alone.  This time, however, since he’s not a child rapist, we can go back to using me as bait.”

                “Hate to break it to you babe, but you’re 27.  You’re getting older now and can’t pass for a teenager.”

                “He’s 37 so I’m still young to him.”

                “I’m 36”

                “I got you didn’t I?”

                “I don’t fuck high school girls.”

                “Do I look young to you?”

                “Yes, but not high school young.”

                “Well, let’s just see if it works out shall we?”

                Nouno knew it would as his wife was still gorgeous and turned heads.  She changed into a low cut shirt to amplify her breasts and seven jeans.  Although she had the natural curves to back it up, it never hurt to wear clothing that accentuated them.  They drove to Julian’s house and she rang the doorbell plastering a charming smile on her face.  Julian looked through the window and saw her and he jumped back.  He opened the door and exclaimed, “Man, did I die and go to heaven?  There’s an angel at my door.”

                Abby chuckled as her voice raised an octave.  She was surprised that she was an inch taller than him but said nothing.  She queried, “I’m sorry to bother you but I was baking cookies and I realized I don’t have any sugar.  Can I borrow some?”

                “Only if I can have some of those cookies” he said flirtatiously as he ran his hand along her cheek pinning her short blond hair behind her ear. 

                “Of course you can” she replied sweetly as she brought her right hand that contained a syringe up into his chin and suppressed the plunger delivering a powerful sedative.  “Actually, I lied, I don’t bake.”

                She signaled to Nouno who came into the house with supplies.  They were both wearing rubber gloves and contained him with plastic onto an island in the kitchen.  When Julian woke up, Nouno was standing over him with a knife.  “I know this is awkward”

                “Who are you?”

                “I’m the guy that’s going to kill you.”

                “What are you talking about? Why?”

                “For the 14-year-old girl that you molested at a movie theater.”

                “No, this is a misunderstanding.  I didn’t do anything to her.  I let her keep her flower.”

                “Are you trying to say that because you didn’t rape her it’s okay?”

                “I’m just saying I could have fucked that bitch….I mean, woman…..”

                “No, when you’re 14, you’re a girl.”

                “Fine, girl.  Bottom line is, I didn’t”

                “You could have fucked her in a movie theater?”

                “Wouldn’t be the first time esse”

                “You did penetrate her though.”

                “With my fingers; that don’t count.”

                “In this country, it does.”

                “Whoa whoa whoa, I get it now.  You think I’m some illegal immigrant that doesn’t give a shit about this country.  I know what’s going on.  I watch the news.  Did you see that CSPAN woman Paula Reid take it to Trump at the presser?”

                “I saw that bitch lie saying that President Trump did nothing between the travel ban in January and March.”

                “What did he do?”

                “He had the CDC release massive testing that they fucked up.  He then cut regulations so that labs and schools could make tests as well as allow telemedicine.  They gave a list to the media of all the things he did; it’s a long list.”

                “It sounds like you’re defending Trump.”

                “I am.  The reality is that Trump warned the media and the media did nothing.”

                “Alright, fine the bitch lied.  At least, I watched the presser.  I should get some points for that right?”

                “No, you libelous, scandalous, treacherous liberals don’t get any points from me.  You’re all evil scum.”

                “I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion.”

                “You people celebrated a pastor that died after giving an Easter service.  Do you know how sick that is?”

                “Hey man, Spanish people are very religious man.  That wasn’t us.”

                Nouno switched to Spanish, “Yes, I know that.  That’s not the point.  The point is you touched a girl when she didn’t want you to and didn’t stop when she asked you repeatedly to.  She had to get up and run away to get away from you.”

                Julian responded in Spanish, “But I let her go.”

                “You were in a room full of people.”

                “The same room I was in when I was groping her.”

                “That can be covered up in the dark.  It’s harder when she stands up.”

                “Come on, you know how girls are hot one minute and cold the next.  They want you to be a man and make the first move.  ‘No’ doesn’t always mean ‘no.’  I bet your woman played hard to get with you.”

                “I stop when she tells me to.”

                “Alright, so I fucked up.  I’m sorry.  What is this girl to you anyway?  Is it your daughter or something?”

                Nouno smiled, “It’s funny you ask that.  I’m a year younger than you but you admit that I’m old enough to be her dad.  That means you know you’re old enough to be her dad.  I’m going to take your advice though; don’t ask permission, just penetrate” he explained as he drove the knife into his sternum killing him instantly. 

                Abby and Nouno wrap the body and load it into their car.  They drive to a crematorium and break in activating the machine.  As they load Julian in, they turn it on and leave.  They go out to their car and order take out driving to the restaurant to pick it up.  As they sit in the parking lot to eat, Abby poses, “Let’s not talk about the Coronavirus as I’m sick of that.”

                “I can always go back to the Russian collusion hoax.”

                “You know what; I would actually prefer that right now.”

                “I found a fascinating article that was written in Forbes in 2017.”

                “2017?  Isn’t whatever you found common knowledge by now?”

                “Kind of but an interesting twist.  It’s written by a guy that has worked and covered Russia and its politics for many years so he’s intimately familiar.”

                “Aren’t you the one that always says people who feel the need to accredit themselves are about to tell you bullshit?”

                “I do say that but when the statement is that the grammar and format of the dossier is common in Russia, then I need to back up that he is qualified to make those claims.”

                “Fine, so what?  It matches Russian grammar.”

                “That would suggest it was written by a Russian.”

                “Wait, so all this time when people talk about the movie script and the Steele dossier, Steele didn’t write it but neither did Simpson.  You think a Russian wrote it?”

                “The dossier does follow that 2007 article in the Wall Street Journal How Ex-Soviets use Lobbyists to Woo Washington but that’s only a portion of it.  A significant part wasn’t based on Russian disinformation but actually written by a Russian and still laundered under Steele’s name.”

                “I don’t think that changes anything.”

                “It provides more backup that the dossier was not the work of any intelligence but a political hit job.”

                “Seems weak.”

                “I’m just getting started.  The dossier alleges that Page was offered the market value of 19.5% of Roseneft shares or 6% of the company.”

                “Right, that’s the largest Russian energy company.”

                “A publicly traded company in which 6% would amount to $720 Million.”

                “Well, when you’re trying to bribe a billionaire, you need the number to be big.”

                “Just for lifting sanctions?  You think Russia believes it can recoup that money just by having sanctions lifted?”

                “Yes, I do.”

                “Nobody intimately involved in Russia does.  Furthermore, this is only if Trump wins the presidency.  How likely do you think that was in 2015?”

                “I thought there was no chance in hell up until Election Day.”

                “Yet you think the Russians spent $ 720 Million dollars as a hedge?  Furthermore, that’s a lot of money to hide for a publicly traded company.”

                “That does seem excessive and far-fetched.”

                “Yea, so when the media tries to claim it’s Russian disinformation, they’re lying.  It doesn’t even pass the laugh test so no Russian would be dumb enough to even try to pass it off as disinformation.”

                “Didn’t you just say you think a Russian wrote it?”

                “No, sorry, I’m jumping around.  The format is that they capitalize every letter of people’s last names.  There was a memo in the dossier attacking Manafort, Papadopoulos and Page.  All three last names were capitalized then Flynn’s name was thrown in 10 days later but it wasn’t capitalized.  I think a Russian wrote the first part but he wasn’t privy to the fact that Flynn was always the main target so Steele, not the Russian, threw in Flynn at the bottom; that’s why it was a different format.”

                “Yea, you definitely forgot that part.  Let’s start over.  You think all that stuff about the bribe was a complete lie.  Here’s my question; why?”

                “Because Stefan Halper was paid a million dollars by the Office of Net Assessment in the Pentagon to dig up dirt on Carter Page.  Hillary Clinton paid Glenn Simpson through a law firm Perkins Coie.  Simpson, in turn paid Steele.  They had to find a crime for Carter Page so they had him going to Russia.  The problem is going to Russia isn’t a crime.  They needed to justify the amount of money they were given to deliver.”

                “He represented a foreign agent.”

                “Also not a crime or else every diplomat and ambassador would be arrested.  There’s two parts. You have to be acting on behalf of a foreign government and doing so in violation of US law.  They needed a law to be broken so they made up bribery.  This is what happened in the impeachment hoax too.  Pelosi threw in bribery at the last minute because the constitution specifically mentions bribery as a reason to impeach.  The only problem was that they had several house hearings before impeachment where nobody used the word ‘bribery’ so doing it at the last second didn’t make any sense.”

                “It sounds like it made perfect sense; they needed to remove him from office and they knew they didn’t have enough so they made it up and rebranded and labeled it something that they could remove him from office for.”

                “Which is fucked up.”

                “I agree”

                “Alright then.  Anyway, this Page thing happened in late July.  The investigation was open on July 31 and it’s right around the time that McCabe sends a memo to the FBI to cut all contact with Christopher Steele.  Do you think that maybe it’s because of this ridiculous story so McCabe figured out he was full of shit?”                          

                “Maybe I don’t know.  Did Page go to Moscow?”

                “Yes, on behalf of the CIA.  When the FBI asked the CIA if that was true the CIA said it was but an FBI agent named Clinesmith or something altered the e-mail to say that they denied it.”

                “Right, so it wasn’t a complete lie.”

                “Carter Page going to Moscow in July was the only thing that was true.  The part about the bribe is a lie.”

                “Look, nobody cares about Russian collusion anymore.”

                “With the declassification, they will.  Now, they’re going to pretend that Russians tricked us and we all fell for it.  The point is that the Russian disinformation was just a small part of the dossier.  The majority of it was completely fabricated by British and US agents; namely Halper, Steele and Simpson.”

                “Duly noted.”

                They head back to the crematorium to dispose of the remains in the proper way as bones don’t burn so there is a system to get rid of it without horrifying sanitation workers.  After that, they head to the hotel and get some rest.  The next day, they fly back to Arizona and the first thing they do when they get home is change into their bathing suits and jump in their pool.  As they are in the pool, Nouno comments, “That guy deserved it right?”

                “Who?”

                “The guy we went to Minnesota to see”

                “Yea, of course.  Why?  Are you having doubts?”

                “I’m just saying that he was punished for doing something that he thought was innocent.”

                “It doesn’t matter what he thought.  It isn’t innocent, it’s fucked up and he got what he deserved.”

                They didn’t have neighbors within ear shot but they were still cautious.  They had killed over 40 people at this point and they knew that getting sloppy or overconfident would sink them.  Nouno grinned widely, “You do realize he did the exact same thing that Tara Reid accused Biden of right?”

                Abby rolled her eyes and splashed him.  She took a deep breath, “Look, if Reid isn’t lying, then Biden is a piece of shit just like that guy’s a piece of shit.  Remember though, Trump grabs women’s crotches so he’s no better.”

                “No woman ever accused him of that.”

                “But….oh are you going to call that another hoax?”

                “No, that came from someone overhearing Trump talking to another guy about how cool it is to be famous.  He said that he could do it and the women would like it.  This is how guys talk to each other.  President Trump explained it very well; it was just locker room talk.”

                “I was a cheerleader, trust me, I know how men talk in the locker room.”

                “Oh, it gets so much worse when women aren’t around.”

                Abby laughed, “I can imagine.”

                “Then you know that President Trump didn’t really do anything wrong.”

                “It’s still not presidential”

                “What does that even mean?”

                “I don’t care anymore.  This conversation is exhausting.” Abby yawned afterward for effect

                With that, the conversation ended and they went about their lives.  Something told Nouno that they weren’t done in Minnesota.