Monday, May 27, 2019

Theo the Trump Employee Episode 12 Clash of Cultures


Luna Drusan was of Syrian descent and had grown up in Long Island, New York with immigrant parents.  She went to New York University where she met friends of various backgrounds.  One of her friends was a Dominican Republican who also grew up in New York who introduced her to a white conservative of Greek descent named Theo.  At first, Luna didn’t like Theo but as she spent more and more time with him over the years, she realized that despite being conservative, he was not a bigot.  This culminated when they went on vacation together.  At the end of the vacation, the next time Luna saw Theo she told him that she didn’t like him at first for being a Republican but now she realized he’s actually a nice guy.  Theo took it well as he always liked her despite being a liberal.  If you live in New York City and can’t get along with liberals, you probably won’t last long.  Later, Luna told Theo that she didn’t understand how he and his Dominican friend always were honest and told the truth because she lied a lot.  Theo never knew how to take this comment.  Can you believe an admitted liar?  But, you only think that she is a liar because she told you but she could be lying about being a liar.  There is no logical way to reconcile this paradox so Theo decided he would just take everything she said with a grain of salt because she’s a liar. 

Theo and Luna’s friendship would end up being a good thing because now they both lived in Washington D.C. so they weren’t alone in their new location.  Luna was an attorney and Theo worked for the Trump White House.  Although Luna was a devout Muslim, she didn’t wear a headscarf.  She wore shorts and makeup.  She was more clothed than most women but from a Muslim perspective, she was straying.  She didn’t drink alcohol and looked down on Theo for doing so but Theo never concerned herself with other’s opinions.  Luna was married to a Muslim man who was very traditional.  He didn’t approve of her promoting her beauty in public but Luna was strong willed and he acquiesced and accepted her when they got married.  

Theo had a long day at work so invited Luna to dinner.  Luna asked if her husband Chuckie could come.  Theo said yes.  He had met Chuckie before and got along with him.  Also, it was a little odd to be going to dinner with a married woman.  The more transparent he was with the husband, the better it would be.  Luna agreed and the set a time to meet.  When they met up, Luna said, “Chuckie can’t make it.”

“Is Chuckie his real name?”

“No, but Americans always mispronounce it so he goes by that to make it more palpable for White people.”

Theo was light skinned even for a Greek but let the comment go with a smile.  He said, “So, I just learned that that the Quaran isn’t the only holy book of Islam.  You also have the Hadith and the Bukhari.”

“There’s more than three but yes those are two other ones.”

“But those two separate the sects more so than any other two.  Which one are you?”

“I go by the Hadith but Chuckie follows the Bukhari.  A majority of Muslims follow the Bukhari.”

Theo had learned that both books depict the prophet Muhammad as a violent person who kills infidels.  The main difference is that the Hadith says Muhammad was a warrior and the killing he did was in the context of battle.  It’s the Bukhari that paints him as a Jihadist that doesn’t have a limit to his killing.  He decided he wasn’t going to bring this up.  This was especially true when Luna said, “Let’s not talk about this.  Let’s talk about fun stuff like how your boss gave the Attorney General the power of the president to declassify.”

Theo smiled and said, “Sure why not?”  Knowing that he was about to get in an argument with a lawyer, who was liberal and a massive spin artist.

“Well the DNI has said that the IC must be protected.”

“Neither the intelligence community (IC) or the Director of National Intelligence (DNI) is the president of the United States.  They are appointed and hired by the President.  They work for the president.  If they are subordinate and disobey a direct order from their president, they should be fired yesterday.”

“But the New York Times said….”

“The Treason Times is exactly that.  They commit treason on a daily basis so of course they would promote being subordinate to the President of the United States just like they praised Sally Yates for doing it.”

“Well, if you let me finish, I would tell you that there is a source in the Kremlin really close to Putin that would be burned if they declassify the documents.”

Theo put on a sarcastic tone.  “Wow, this guy is so secret that they just publicly admitted that he exists in a mainstream American newspaper that is read all over the world including Russia.  I mean this CIA source is so secret that Brennan leaked his identity to the New York Times who printed it?”

                “They didn’t say the guy’s name.”

                “But now Putin would know that someone is watching.  They call him a former official close to Putin.  It’s probably Brennan or one of Brennan’s lieutenants who is no longer in Russia.”

                “Isn’t it good if Putin is looking over his shoulder?”

                “Only if there isn’t actually an informant.  Then yea, by all means but that also means we can declassify and maybe, just maybe Putin will believe that we were careful enough not to leak the identity of that man and Putin is still looking over his shoulder.”

                “No, I mean if we declassify, he’ll be revealed.”

                “There is no way you can know that.  If the CIA really has a source in the Kremlin why was there no official intelligence that had the Trump collusion information.  Why did it have to come from the State department?”

                “It came to Brennan of the CIA and Comey of the FBI what do you mean?”

                “They were told by Christopher Steele.  They were supposed to go through the Woods procedure and send it to intelligence agencies in four other countries to verify it.  Things aren’t normally handled at the upper echelons of the CIA and FBI.  The rank and file people pass it up.”

                “I hate when non-lawyers try to tell me about legal procedure.”

                “I hate when people pretend to be knowledgeable and hide behind their education when they don’t have anything substantive to say.”

                “It would take too long to explain to you what took me three years to learn in law school.”

                “Oh okay…”  Theo said unconvincingly and sarcastically.  Theo continued, “Why would we protect this source anyway?  All the information turned out to be false.  Why would we still trust him when he lied to us so many times?  The entire FISA is false.”

                “You watch too much right wing media.”

                “That’s because they tell the truth.”

                “Whatever” Luna said as she rolled her eyes.

                “Riddle me this.  Why can we trust the NY Times with the identity of the source but not the Attorney General?” 

                Luna sighed, “You’re just so ignorant in this.  I can’t help you.”

                Theo smiled, “Wow, you just keep going to that.  It’s not going to work.”

                “Look, no matter what.  We can all agree that there’s no question that the investigation started July 31, 2016 with crossfire Hurricane.  Even your hero Nunes said it.”

                “You got that from Marshall Cohen from CNN”

                “Oh, you’re going to tell me that CNN is leftist too”

                “Yes”

                Luna shook her head, “Whatever, can we agree with that?”

                “No”

                “Why not?”

                “The GCHQ was briefing the FBI about Trump and Russia in the fall of 2015.”

                “Oh, so now you’re blaming the British.”

                “Yes, that’s why they also don’t want us to declassify.  Christopher Steele was British right?  Papadopoulos had these meeting with Mifsud and Downer in London right?  Stephan Halper was a professor at Cambridge, which is in the UK right?  Everything happens in the United Kingdom before the investigation is opened.”

                “Why would the CIA and FBI do it in the UK?”

                “To circumvent US laws and the 4th amendment.  They wanted to spy on American citizens but since the investigation wasn’t open, they had to do it where it was legal, like the UK, so they could feed the BS to the FBI so the FBI would open the investigation.”

                “Wow, this is getting very conspiratorial.”

                “There’s only two scenarios.  Either the British gave Obama’s DOJ and CIA the information about Russia and Trump and they believed it but did nothing or it was a coordinated effort like I said.”

                “Or the British never gave us any information.”

                “It’s well documented they did.”

 

                While Luna was at dinner, Chuckie was meeting with a Muslim man.  The man said, “Chuckie, Luna is violating Sharia law.”

                “I know but this is America.  It corrupts people.”

                “People who are corrupted by the great Satan need to be punished.”

                Chuckie became intrigued, “Punished how?”

                “The ultimate punishment.”

                “No, that’s for Muslims that convert from Muslim to another religion.  Luna is still Muslim.”

                “She wears make-up.  She doesn’t wear a headscarf.  She goes out in public without her father or you making a public announcement that she has your permission.  She dances in public  She associates with non-believers.  You said yourself she is at dinner now with a Christian.”

                “I did give her permission to do that.”

                “That is irrelevant.  She must be punished and forced back to our traditions”

                Chuckie looked around hesitantly.  There was some more back and forth but then Chuckie said, “Alright, I agree to let you punish her but her life must be preserved.”

                “Yes, like you said, she did not convert to Christianity so she is not deserving of a killing.”

                “Alright”

 

                When Theo went to work the next day, he told a secret service agent.  “Hey can you follow my friend discreetly.  I feel like her life is in danger.”

                “Why do you say that?”

                “Her husband is a sect of the Muslim faith that believes in Sharia law.  My friend doesn’t wear a head scarf and wears make up, which they frown upon.”

                “How long have they been married?”

                “A few years now.”

                The agent grimaced, “If he was so against it, he would have put a stop to it or would have already taken care of it.  Have you seen any evidence that he’s abusing her?”

                Theo put his head down and admitted, “No, I haven’t”

                “I can’t divert resources.  I’ll tell you what though; I’ll give you a number to a retired friend of mine.  He’s former military that needs some extra cash.  If you agree to his price, he’ll help you out and you can waste your money on paranoia.  My advice would be for you not to call him but if you’re right, then I’ll feel guilty so this is my way to cover my ass.”

                Theo shrugged his shoulders and commented, “That works for me.”

                Theo called the number and the former military man gave two prices.  The cheaper option was to observe and report.  The second, more expensive option was to get involved and kill.  Theo only paid for a week of surveillance and went with the cheaper option.  He figured that he was just being paranoid but for some reason he had a bad feeling about Chuckie not coming to the dinner.

 

                A couple days after the meeting, Luna arrived in Pentagon circle, which is a small community near the Pentagon in Virginia.  Chuckie told her about a get together they were having at a client’s house and she had to come.  Luna agreed and arrived with food.  She rang the doorbell and a bearded man answered.  He said, “You must be Luna, it is nice to meet you.”

                “Likewise” Luna said as she stuck out her hand, which the breaded man shook. 

                Luna saw that he was in traditional Muslim garb much like a Saudi prince or an Imam and she became nervous.  She had a dress on that went below her knees but she felt awkward.  The bearded man said, “Please come in.”

                Luna did and looked around and said, “Am I the first one here?”

                The bearded man wrapped his arms around her neck and Luna dropped the plate of food she brought.  She was dragged into a room with a small bed and thrown down on her stomach.  She screamed but her head was summarily pressed into the mattress muffling her screams.  The bearded man straddled her butt and pinned her down and said, “You have violated Sharia law.  You must be punished so you will learn to cover yourself more properly and stop hanging out with infidel men over your husband.”

                Luna turned her head to the side and said, “I didn’t choose any man over my husband.  I’ve been faithful.”

                “I am not accusing you of infidelity.  You had dinner with a non-believer is that right?”

                “Yes, we went to college together.”

                “You were not with your husband.”

                “I invited him.”

                “That’s not good enough.  He asked me to teach you this lesson because he was too heartbroken to do it himself.  You take him for granted.”

                “That’s bullshit”

                A hand came across her face and he said, “How dare you speak to me like that.”

The bearded man unzipped Luna’s dress and forced it off her.  He threw her on the ground and pinned her down by putting his left leg onto her stomach.  He removed his garb as Luna struggled from underneath him.  She only had underwear on as she removed her shoes when she walked in.  Tears started streaming down her cheeks as the bearded man lowered himself and inserted himself into her.  He thrusted his pelvis against her as she groaned, which just made the bearded man taunt her.  The fight was completely out of Luna and she became submissive to any desire the bearded man asked.  He commanded her to get up and bend over against the bed.  He then took her from behind as she cried out in pain.  He ravaged her repeatedly until he finished.  He then grabbed a sword and found Luna on all fours crawling away.  He grabbed her by the neck and put the knife to her throat and said, “You are beyond saving.  For the betterment of your husband who needs to find a worthy woman, I must eliminate you from his life.”

 

                When Luna pulled up, the investigator called Theo who was at a bar in Dupont Circle.  He said, “Hey, you’re girl is going to a house of a strange character.  You may want to get to Virginia.”

                “Are you sure?”

                “Yea, my instincts are red flagging like crazy.”

                “Theo knew that the train would be quicker as traffic was intense at this time.  He took the train to Virginia and ran to the house.  The military man met him and handed him a gun.  He said, “When you enter the door, there will be a room on your left.  Hurry up, he’s raping her.”

                Theo looked up and said, “And you haven’t done anything.”

                “You only paid to observe and report.”

                Theo shook his head and decided debating was a waste of time.  He ran at the door but the military man was quicker as he kicked the door in and then jumped to the side letting Theo in.  Theo entered and turned left to find the man standing over Luna with his arm around her neck.  He didn’t notice the sword but he raised the gun with both hands, aimed and squeezed the trigger hitting the bearded man in the back of the knee to maximize pain.  It is only when he heard the sword clang against the ground did he realize what he walked in on.  The bearded man fell forward and tripped over Luna as he collapsed on the ground grabbing his leg screaming in pain.  Luna grabbed the sword and turned toward Theo was a fury in her eyes that he had never seen before.  She said, “Turn that asshole on his stomach.  Theo did so and Luna walked up to him and raised the sword.  She said, “You are going to have the dishonor of being killed by a woman” as she swung the sword connecting with his neck. 

She kept swinging and sawing until the head came off in a fountain of blood that covered her and Theo.  She dropped the sword and ran up to Theo and jumped into his arms wrapping her arms and legs around him.  Theo held her not knowing what to do.  Luna was completely naked and bleeding from her groin and anus.  After a full minute, Theo said, “Umm, Luna, you may want to put some clothes on and we probably should call 911.”

This seemed to snap Luna out of her trance.  She dropped to her feet with a new surge of adrenaline.  She looked at Theo and said, “You’re clothes are covered in blood.  Take them off, I got to wash them.”

Theo was staring at a naked brown body covered in crimson blood.  He said, “That’s not important right now.  I’m wearing a cheap T-shirt and shorts, I can throw them away.”

                “Don’t be stupid.  I know you’re Christian.  You’ve stripped to your boxers around women all the time when you share rooms and even beds with them.  You go to the beach wearing nothing but shorts so what’s the difference?”

                Theo didn’t really have an argument to this except that the girls he was with insisted on it because they viewed sleeping in the clothes you had on all day was dirty.  He decided she was just in shock, so he obliged.  Luna gathered up her clothes and Theo’s and found a bathroom.  There was a bathtub and she clogged the drain and put on cold water as she soaked the clothing.  Theo didn’t dare follow but when she came back she was wearing a towel.  Theo couldn’t help but notice that there was still blood on her.  He said, “Are you sure you don’t want to take a shower with the clothes?”

                “No, I gotta go to the hospital.  My body is evidence of what that fucker did to me.  I need to justify why I killed him.”

                Theo’s eyes looked up and then he shook his body as he realized she was right.  He couldn’t believe how calm she was.  She said, “Take out your phone.  I need you to take a picture of me now that I’m covered up.”

                Theo was unsure if a towel counted as ‘covered up’ but took out his phone.  Luna put her left foot on the now headless body and turned to Theo and smiled.  Theo took the picture.  Luna said, “Please turn him onto his back”

                Theo did holding back from gagging.  Again, Luna put her foot on his chest and smiled wide as Theo took the picture.  She said, “Now call 911”

                Theo called 911 and reported what had happened.  The only thing that kept him there is that Luna was a lawyer so would know people to represent them.  The house became a crime scene pretty quick and Luna was loaded onto a stretcher.  Since Theo wasn’t her husband, he had to travel to the hotel separately.  They gave both of them a thermal jacket to wear that was more like a cape.  Theo called an Uber and was happy they let him in the car wearing nothing but a jacket that seemed to be made out of the same substance of a trash bag and boxers.  The Uber driver wasn’t too curious and figured since he was going to the hospital; they would take care of whatever problem he had.  While they were waiting for the cops, Theo did jump in the shower and washed the blood off him and dried off with a towel before putting his boxers back on. 

                Theo waited in the waiting room for hours until they let him go in to see her.  The look of fury was out of Luna’s eyes and she looked at Theo the way she always did.  The hospital had given Theo some pajama pants and a shirt to wear.  He knew this was from people who had died but nobody claimed the clothes.  Right now though, he didn’t care.  He said, “Now that you actually look sane, I’m really sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

                “Don’t worry about it; it’s not your job to protect me.”

                Theo’s eyes wandered back and forth.  He knew the implication she was making but he didn’t know how to respond.  While Theo was waiting, the police asked him questions and he answered them to the best of his ability.  He said he was invited to the house and got there after Luna hoping she’d tell the same lie.  They didn’t seem too interested as it seemed like an obvious self-defense case.  They would still analyze the crime scene but the doctors were confirming that Luna had significant tearing.  Luna said, “So Liz Cheney is throwing around the term ‘coup’ now.”

                Theo took the bait.  The best thing to do was to act like nothing happened.  He said, “That’s because when you conspire to spy on the President of the United States under false pretenses and you falsify information to a court in order to trick them to get a warrant to spy on the President in the most invasive way possible to undermine his presidency and get him impeached.  We call that treason.  In this case a treacherous coup, so yea I agree.”

                “Once again, you know nothing about the law.” Luna said with a smile

               
                “Once again, you can’t logically find a problem with my argument, counselor” emphasizing the last word in a mocking way.

                “Jim Comey may be an adulterer but he was a good agent.”

                “According to the special counsels own lawyer; Comey was a witness in a pending investigation. Him leaking conversations with the President to the media is illicit.  Then, when the President fires him for illegally leaking their conversations to the media, a firing recommended by Rosenstein by the way, he sets up an illegal investigation on the President through Andy MeCabe.  So yea as a witness in a pending investigation, you can’t talk to the media.  You also can’t record the president and leak your conversations to the media.  So how is he a good agent again?”

                “Don’t tell me about the law.”

                “You need a new comeback”

                “Look a special counsel was set up to see if he obstructed justice by firing Comey.  The AG said ‘no’ so that’s that.”

                “Again a lawyer from the special counsel says that the investigation into obstruction of justice was on May 12.  Comey was fired May 9.  The special counsel wasn’t set up until May 17.  So, no the investigation into obstruction pre-dated the Mueller probe.”

                “Who opened it?”

                “MeCabe”

                “Right, I remember now.  The FBI interviewed Lester Holt on May 11.  That’s how the obstruction investigation started.  That’s why it was opened May 12, the day after the interview.”

                “Unless these declassified documents show that it was opened May 10”

                “Why would you think that?”

                “MeCabe was pissed that President Trump fired his buddy Comey so he opened it then but he wanted to lie.  The FBI has lied about everything else so why not this date?”

                “I can’t believe the White House trusts you with sensitive information.”

                “They don’t.  This is stuff I hear in the real media like the Examiner and the Hill.”

                A phone rang by Luna and she smiled.  She picked it up and said, “Hi Chuckie” in a cheery voice that sounded much more hurt a moment ago.

                Chuckie was taken aback from who answered the phone.  He had called the man he hired to punish Luna and now Luna was answering the phone and didn’t seem upset.  She said, “So the guy whose house you sent me to attacked me and tried to kill me.  I’m at the hospital right now.”

                Chuckie was relieved that she didn’t seem to know he hired him.  He acted shocked and said, “What?! Are you okay?  Where is he now?  I’ll kill him!”

                Luna put on a hurt voice and her voice turned to a whine and said, “No, just please come here.  I need you.  I’m all alone and I’m scared here.”

                Theo’s eyes squinted in confusion as Chuckie said “I’m on my way but why didn’t you call me?”

                “I just got out of treatment.  I wasn’t allowed to call you until all my tests were done.  You had perfect timing, I just got finished.”

                Luna hung up the phone and Theo said, “Alright, I’ll leave you alone now that Chuckie is coming.”

                Luna gave him a dirty look, “No you’re staying.  In case you missed something, Chuckie is the one that hired that asshole to rape and murder me.  I lured him here to be arrested.”

                Theo looked up at the TV.  He forgot he was dealing with a well seasoned liar.  He saw a news story and read from the screen, “Wow, Rite Aide donated 6 million dollars to folds of honor.   That’s really cool of them.”

                Luna said, “Yea, it is.  I mean I feel bad for the children of fallen military members.  They deserve help.  I support that too.”

                “Glad we can agree on something.”

                “Yea, now that I agreed with a conservative position.  Let’s see if we can find some common ground.  When Trump texted that Kim Jung Un is smarter that Sleepy Joe Biden and would make a better President.  We can agree that that was wrong right?”

                “He never said that.  Ian Brennan of Time magazine made it up.”

                “What?  You and your conspiracies”

                Theo pulled out his phone and went to Ian Brennan’s twitter feed and showed Luna where he admitted that he made it up.  Theo then said, “Can we agree that fabricating quotes is wrong?”

                “No, I agree with the mainstream media.  That’s something Trump would say so it’s fair game.”

                “Wow, now who’s unreasonable?  The President must be really good if you have to make shit up about him to make him look bad.”

                “You want real?  How about how he doctored Pelosi’s speech?”

                “Edited not doctored.  He spliced it but it was played at the same speed.”

                “No, I saw the slowed down version.”

                “No, you saw the media slowing down other speeches.  They also played the clips at regular speed.  Notice how they didn’t show anyone the Pelosi clip at…” Theo made quotation signs with his fingers and continued, “normal speed.”

                “It’s still despicable to not play the entire clip.”

                “People edit clips all the time for time and content.  It’s not a big deal.”

                “It is a big deal.”

                “So let me get this straight, editing a video is wrong but completely fabricating a quote is okay?”

                Luna said, “Whatever, your boss is a racist.”

                Theo pulled up another screen shot from his phone and showed it to Luna.  It was a tweet from the Washington Post on 5/24/19 between 7:00PM and 8:00PM saying ‘racial prejudice has declined as a reaction to Trump’s presidency a new study suggests.’ Then Theo stated, “It went up under Obama.”

                Luna smirked and said, “I thought you didn’t believe anything the mainstream media said.”

                Theo grinned and shook his head and uttered, “The way you spin is amazing.”

                “Thanks” Luna said beaming.  By then Chuckie came in feigning concern.  Luna turned her head and said, “Officers, that’s him.”

                Chuckie was arrested and Luna turned back to Theo.  She said in a serious voice, “Thank you for saving my life.”

                Theo grimaced and said, “I just wish I had gotten there sooner.”

                “If you got there any later, I would have been dead so we’ll just say you had good timing not perfect timing.”

                “Yea”

                “You never did tell me how you knew though?”

                “Get some sleep Luna, I need to go home” Theo said as he walked out. 

                Luna looked after him and cried out, “Theo?”

                Theo stopped and turned around as his body tensed up.  He didn’t have an answer for her.  Luna said, “I’m not going to make you lie. Come back tomorrow.  I need a friend right now.  I promise I won’t ask anything you don’t want to answer.”

                Theo gave her a quizzical look as he wondered what she meant by that comment.  He agreed to come back the next day.  Luna kept her promise and didn’t ask how he got there.  She had told the same lie to the cops so they took it as true.  When Luna got out she stated to Theo, “Will you stay with me?   I don’t want to be alone.”

                Theo sighed, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

                “Why not?”

                “I don’t trust you Luna.  You lie very well.  Even when I was in the room and knew that you knew what Chuckie did, I thought you were telling the truth.”

                “I didn’t convince you on the political shit.”

                “Well that’s different, I know you’re….”

                Luna giggled and opined, “Right, you were about to contradict yourself.”

                Theo did end up going back with Luna.  They stayed in separate rooms.  After they had processed the crime scene, the cops gave Luna and Theo back their clothes.  Luna took Theo’s clothes and washed them.  Theo was shocked she was able to get the blood out but Luna didn’t think it was a big deal.  Eventually, Luna was okay staying at her house by herself and Theo went back to his house.  They remained friends and went on with their lives. 

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