Theo the Trump Employee Episode 11 White Man Burden

                Theo works for the White House under the Donald Trump presidency.  He moved from New York City to work for Donald Trump because as the Democrats took control of all aspects of the New York government, he saw the New York he had known for the last decade deteriorate.  Due to the hatred that the New York Democrats have for President Trump, they are taking it out on the people.  They’ve raised taxes so the people don’t feel the federal tax cuts as much and they have strictly enforced various racial quota laws existing all over. This has affected all industries but the construction industry especially.  Although D.C., like New York, is full of liberals, at least the government has Republicans to help to stop the Democrats from doing what Democrats do and exploiting, disenfranchising and keeping the lower middle class and poor down. 

                Theo is tasked to meet with an FBI official.  Theo is not a big fan of the FBI but very rarely do people like every aspect of their job.  He walk in and a 5’4” petite blond with auburn hair meets him.  She has pale skin but Theo is a little surprised when she introduces herself as “Agent Han”

                Theo hides his surprise and says, “I’m Theo, nice to meet you.”

                “Thanks for meeting with me.  I have some questions to ask you about a former employee of yours.”

                “Okay.”

                “His name is George Papadopoulos”

                Theo smiles as he knows George.  They bonded because they were both Greek but George didn’t last very long as he was arrested flying back from Greece and got caught up in the Russian collusion hoax.  Theo says, “He just wrote a book.”

                “Yes, we are aware of that.  He’s insinuating that we entrapped him.  As I’m sure I don’t have to tell  you….”

                “Because you did” Theo interrupted.

                Agent Han gave him a stern look and said with obvious annoyance in her voice, “I was going to say, you should know that the intelligence community can’t be questioned or else the whole fabric of our society will collapse.”

                “No, I don’t agree with that at all.  Everyone needs oversight, so yea, no we don’t agree.”

                “Do you know where George is now?”

                “He lives in LA.”

                “Anything else you want to tell me?”

                “He’s beginning to unravel the bureau, CIA and others attempt to entrap him.  His wife is Italian as you know and the Italian newspaper Il Barrio is awfully suspicious about the Link Campus.”

                “Enlighten me.”

                “Well Joseph Mifsud worked for the Link Campus and they are being investigated for meddling in the world’s political affairs.  One allegation is that they pressured Mifsud to meet with Papadopoulos.”

                “I know that the President, your boss, likes his conspiracies but let’s remember that we are the intelligence community.”

                “Yes, my mistake.  You guys are so knowledgeable.  So tell me, who is Joseph Mifsud?” Theo’s tone was very sarcastic.

                “Russian intelligence asset and what started this whole investigation into Trump’s collusion when he approached your countrymen in London and told him that he had dirt on Hillary from her hacked e-mails.”

                “Right, that was in April 2016 right?”

                “Yes”

                “Then you opened the investigation on July 30, 2016 because you know all about Mifsud and how he was a Russian asset and that he was really shady and suspicious so anyone that met with him must be shady too.  Like another countryman of mine said, Socrates, “Show me who you’re friends are, I’ll tell you what type of person you are.”

                “Alright, I’m glad we are finally coming from the same perspective.”

                “Are we though?  Tell me Ms Intelligence, if you knew that Mifsud was so bad and was a Russian asset against our interest, then why did you let him into the country in February 2017? Seven months after you opened an investigation because a lower staff member of the now-President’s campaign met with someone that’s so bad?”

                “That’s classified”

                “No it’s not and I have security clearance, that’s why you’re meeting with me.  How about this; why is it that if you Google Mifsud he’s with all these high level colleagues of yours; as in the intelligence officials in Britain and Italy.  I mean, why didn’t you warn your sister agencies around the world that this is a Russian asset and they shouldn’t be close.  Did you miss that?”

                “This is not an interrogation of the bureau.  This is a courtesy by the FBI to work with the White House.  We should be unified”

                “That would be easier if you didn’t attack everyone working for us.  This leads me to a different question since you’re so intelligent; I know about Halper and that hot chick he used under the alias Azra Turk to spy on Papadopoulos, but how many spies were there?”

                “All this can be read in Mueller’s report.”

                “False, it doesn’t mention any exculpatory information.  It cherry picks information.  Only talks about Mifsud going to conferences with Russian intelligence at it.  By the way, that’s kind of what conferences are.  Everyone shows up, doesn’t make them guilty.  The report, however, never mentions all the western intelligence conferences he went to.  It never mentions how he was here for a conference.  I mean, if the only conference he attended was the Link campus where Russians showed up, then….actually no, that’s still not a big deal…but for argument sake let’s just say he only talked to Russians.  Then I kind of see it.  But he’s been to many conferences with intelligence officials all over the world.  So are we dealing with a guy that makes James Bond look like a 16-year-old gossip queen or is MIfsud a western spy himself?”

                “So you read the report?”

                “Yes, and after 35 million dollars, it still doesn’t definitively say who Mifsud is.”

                “I’m the one that’s supposed to be asking questions.” She said angrily

                “Supposed to yes but I no longer respect any FBI agent that is still looking into Russian collusion with Trump and continues to harass an American citizen after he’s been arrested, charged and is trying to move on with his life.”

                “Move on?! Hardly moving on when you write a book complaining how you were treated”

                “Well, I commend him for fighting back.”

                “It is our job to investigate any suspicious activity”

                “Really?  So then why don’t you look into Russian corporations giving Bill Clinton $500,000 to give a speech when Hillary is Secretary of State?  Especially when that same company buys our Uranium that we gave to Iran from the Iranians.  That’s not suspicious?”

                “You can’t investigate private citizens for things that look unseemly and are circumstantial.”

                “Given that statement, retell me what you had on George Papadopoulos.”

                “He met with someone in London that told him he had dirt on Hillary.”

                “How do you know?”

                Agent Han looked confused and she said, “What do you mean?”

                “Well, the conversation was in London.  Meeting with someone that says he has dirt isn’t a crime by the way.  Seems circumstantial to me just like the Clinton thing.  Aside from that, how do you know that was said?”

                “Papadopoulos told us.”

                “No he didn’t.  He was charged and imprisoned for not tell you.”

                “Well, we got it from Australia”

                “Alexander Downer?  Nope, wrong again Ms. Intelligence.  He has testified that they never discussed e-mails or dirt on Hillary.  They just said ‘negative information.’  So how did you know?”

                “Stop calling me Ms Intelligence, it’s Agent Han.”

                “Is it?  Well only two people knew, Papadopoulos and Mifsud.  We know you didn’t get it from Papadopoulos so….”

                “Careful”

                “It seems that Mifsud must have told you but you can’t find him right?  Did he tell you when you interviewed him February 2017?  No, couldn’t, you already arrested Papadopoulos.  Hmmm curious.  Maybe, just maybe he was working for you or…..you recorded the conversation.”

                “Can we get back to Papadopoulos?”

                “We are talking about him.  But fine, no more Mifsud.  Papadopoulos thinks you had a FISA against him. Is that true?”

                “None of your business.”

                “Did you have one on Mifsud?”

                “Also none of you business”

                “Did you set up the meeting and have someone plant a bug that neither of them knew about?”

                Agent Han packed up her notes and said, “This is a waste of time, I’m leaving.”

                “Cause if you did, it’s weird you didn’t enter it as evidence.  Unless of course, it doesn’t look good that George wasn’t lying when he said the told Mifsud he didn’t know what he was talking about and didn’t bite on the bait.”

                “Good bye sir.  You have wasted my time.”

                “Likewise Agent Intelligence”

                Agent Han rolled her eyes and walked out.  Theo saw himself out.  He wasn’t sure if he was going to get in trouble but he just couldn’t help himself.  He liked George and he had to protect him. 

                Although Theo worked at the White House, he lived in Rockville Maryland.  He was returning home on the metro a couple weeks after his meeting with the FBI.  He lived about a five minute walk from the train but he didn’t mind.  Spending 17 years in New York got him accustomed to walking from train to destination.  While walking, he saw Agent Han.  He walked up to her and said, “Hi Agent Han” in a friendly but mocking manner.

                Agent Han started backing away from Theo saying, “Why is Theo stalking me” repeatedly over and over again.  Next thing Theo knew cop cars were pulling up and he was being asked to come to the station. 

                Theo rolled his eyes and said, “Officially?”

                “The cop gave a sympathetic expression and said, “I’m afraid so.  She says you attacked her and she has a bruise on her heel to prove it.”

                Theo gave the officer a surprised look but held his tongue.  He said, “Sir, I need to call my attorney.”

                “I understand, please do.”

                Theo called his attorney.  He actually had a few friends that were attorneys but he purposely chose a woman since he was being charged with attacking a woman.  Theo hated identity politics but in today’s climate, you had to work with the system.  The lawyer that was showing up was of Pakistani descent and was a liberal.  Theo knew her through a mutual friend in New York.  It took her years to realize that even though Theo was a Republican, he was a nice person.  Theo was less sure about what changed her mind rather than how she had that idea.  He was used to New York liberals judging him for being a conservative and thinking he was a horrible person for it.  The odd thing was, they had spent a lot of time together with their mutual friend over the years.  She could point to the event it happened but not really what exactly Theo did at the event that was different from the previous years.  Maybe it was just everything adding up.  None of that mattered right now because he was just glad she came to the conclusion she did but he needed her to get out of this.  When bald white men, which Theo is, are accused by attractive women, it doesn’t normally end well for the bald white man. 

                Theo was held in booking while he waited for his lawyer.  While in booking, a black man was complaining, “Man, with all these finance people making all this money and getting richer and richer, what’s a little guy like me supposed to do?”

                Theo knew he shouldn’t engage but he had nothing else to do and the guy was yelling so it was hard to daydream and tune him out.  He figured what the hell, he said, “What do you mean?”

                “What do you mean what do I mean?  All these Wall street people get these big bonuses and severance packages.  All paid for by their boy Trump”

                “Wages under Trump’s economy are growing faster for less skilled workers than their supervisors.  It was in the Wall Street Journal today.”

                “Well they only show you the numbers that make it look good.”

                “This was true for hourly, weekly, and yearly wages.  The last one includes those bonuses you mentioned.”

                “Maybe for the money people but not the real workers doing all the shit jobs shoveling shit and shit.”

                “Actually wages in miners and blue collar jobs are growing twice as fast as the financial sector”

                “You some smartass aren’t you.”

                “I am definitely a sarcastic smart ass but that doesn’t mean I’m lying.”

                “So you don’t hate Trump?”

                “No, he did what he said he was going to.  He helped the manufacturers and factory workers.  He didn’t help people like him.  Well, he’s a real estate guy not a Wall Street guy but still, he didn’t help rich people as much as he helped poorer.”

                “Yea, this is a conspiracy and shit.  Some dude was talking on the TV that businesses purposely didn’t hire people and didn’t make shit as fast to make Obama look bad.”

                “So you think business owners don’t want to make money?”

                “Fuck no, they’re all greedy assholes.”

                “Well then why does it matter who’s president.  A greedy asshole if he can make more money will make more money and not give a shit about anyone else right?”

                “Yea, they don’t care who they have to step on to get ahead.”

                “Even if it’s the President”

                ‘Even if it’s their own mother!”

                “Sounds like you know that guy on TV was lying to you.  His name is Chris Hayes by the way.”

                “Yea, he’s a retard.  Talking this shit that business suits aren’t greedy.  Please! Give me a break!”

                Just then, Theo’s lawyer showed up and an officer was escorting him out.  Theo turned toward him and said, “Nice talking with you sir.”

                The guy looked at Theo and then at his lawyer.  He said, “Damn, your lawyer be FINE!  Hey honey, can you help me out next!”

                Theo smiled and caught a hint of his lawyer smiling as well.  They sat in a room and Theo explained everything that happened.  His lawyer rolled her eyes and said, “God, I hate when women do this.  It gives us all a bad name.  This is going to be easy.  Just tell them what you told me.”

                Theo sat down and the officer said, “Where do you live?”

                “He gave them his address in Rockville, MD”

                The officer said, “Yea, that’s what your license said too.”

                Theo looked around the room not sure how to respond.  His lawyer said, “Where does the accuser live?  Did you ask her?”

                “Virginia”

                “So, how was my client stalking her when they were five minutes from his home and about 45 minutes from hers?”

                “We wondered the same thing”

                “And as for the second charge about this bruise on her foot”

                “Yes”

                “My client is significantly taller than the accuser.  If he were to hit her, it wouldn’t be on the heel.”

                “We agree, even if he were to drag her, he would have grabbed the ankle not her heel.”

                “So what exactly do you have officer.”

                “Nothing”

                “So, why are you holding my client?”

                “We’re not, he asked for you,. We had to wait for you to show up.  When we questioned the accuser her story didn’t check out.  That’s weird because she’s FBI.”

                Theo’s lawyer glared at the officer and said, “So you’re just messing with my client.”

                “I think he messed with himself.  He should’ve just answered our questions and he wouldn’t have had to stay here so long.”

                Theo laughed nervously and his lawyer rolled her eyes.  She said, “Okay, so we’re going to leave now.”

                “Have a nice day” the officer said with a smug smile.

                Theo shook his head and when they left said, “Sorry”

                “Don’t be. You made the right call.  Never talk to the authorities without a lawyer present but my time is valuable so you owe me dinner.”

                “That’s a very generous discount”

                They both laughed.  At dinner, the lawyer said, “I don’t know how I feel about Bernie Sanders and this Medicate for all plan.”

                “Did you read the CBO report?”

                “No, number and finance bores me.”

                “Isn’t the whole point of being a lawyer being able to read boring things?”

                “Yes, but if we don’t have to we don’t”

                “Can I explain to you the boring thing then?” he said with a smile

                “Well you were in accounting in your previous profession so I know you can’t help yourself.”

                “And I’m the son of a surgeon so this is right up my alley because it’s medical.”

                “Well the CBO is pretty fair.”

                “No they’re not, they’re very liberal”

                “So you expect me to believe you, who is very right, over the CBO?”

                “You can believe either one of us, we both agree on this one.”

                The lawyer glared at him insinuating that he set her up.  “Alright, give me the CBO report not your analysis.”

                “First, there is no private insurance.  It is banned unless it’s aesthetic like a nose job.”

                “Don’t really like that.  Obama got in trouble for lying about being able to keep your plan if you like it but many insurance providers dropped their clients in reaction.”

                “Very good.  Now the private insurance won’t exist.  They’ll probably be a black market for good medical care.”

                “What did I say about your analysis and speculation?”

                “Sorry”

                “No you’re not because you’re going to do it again and if you’re actually sorry, you wouldn’t”

                “That is true but I will try.”

                “Thank You, so what about Medicare now?”

                “Also banned because everyone has it now.”

                “But we can’t even afford it for old people”

                “Yes, that is the problem.  So when you can’t regulate supply and demand, which a doctor’s time is limited supply, then you have to withhold care and make people wait longer.”

                “Like when people who want cheap dental care.  They go to dental schools but have to wait hours but people who are willing to pay more, see the dentist at their appointed time.”

                “Precisely. Good analogy.  Except now, it’s going to be weeks if not months.  CBO admits you can’t go to any hospital you want and when you do go, the quality of care will diminish.  If you need a specific medication, the doctor won’t be able to give you the script if it’s too expensive or if the government decides it’s not necessary. Remember, the decision maker won’t be a doctor”

                “So why doesn’t any of this happen now?  I mean healthcare is astronomically expensive, which forces us to have insurance.  They charge exorbitant prices for bed space and drugs.  Is it just the pharmaceutical companies?”

                “No, the government is involved.  Whenever the government is involved, inefficiencies and weird business practices are forced to happen.”

                “Explain”

                “So, old people get sick more often than young people right?”

                “Obviously”

                “But they have Medicare so the government forces the doctors and hospitals to underbill Medicare patients.  Therefore the hospital or doctor is losing money on Medicare patients that they have to treat.”

                “With you so far”

                “Well, they are running a business so they have to make money so what do you think they need to do to make up for their losses?”

                The lawyer nodded her head, “Raise prices on everyone else”

                “There you go.  Or else they’d go out of business or be forced to ration care.”

                “But you said Bernie’s plan will ban private insurance so they won’t be able to overcharge everyone else.”

                “What was the other option I told you about if they can’t overcharge everyone else?”

                “Ration care….oh that would suck.”

                “Yes, yes it would”

                “Man, I never thought I’d actually like the current system of big pharama making money off everyone else.”

                “Yea, everything is relative.  It can always get worse.”

                “The CBO wasn’t so nice to Bernie were they?”

                “No, in order to avoid putting their detailed plan on paper and release it, they gave it to the CBO thinking they’d be nice because they wouldn’t question their assumptions.”

                “And you’re questioning their assumptions”

                “Of course”

                “Like….”

                “If you cut doctor’s pay by 40% nobody is going to quit or retire and just as many students will pursue medicine.”

                “Well that’s just ridiculous”

                “I agree, and despite that, the CBO analysis is still that bad.”

                “Looks like Bernie miscalculated”

                “I’m not even done.”

                The lawyer sighed and glared at Theo already annoyed with the conversation but she started it so she had to continue, “Alright, keep going.”

                “Well, aside from not covering new treatments and rationing care, the CBO found that government spending on healthcare costs would increase substantially and individual and corporate taxes would double.”

                “Bernie said he was saving us money.”

                “Do you pay the same amount for your health insurance as you do in taxes?”

                “No”

                “Well, then Bernie lied.  Also your employer is taxed more so he has less money to give you a raise or hire more employees.”

                “Or keep the employees he already has”

                “Yup”

                “Let’s change the topic.”

                “As long as you realize that Bernie is bad so if he wins the primaries, you shouldn’t vote for him”

                “I would never vote for Trump”

                “Even after everything I just told you, you like Bernie?”

                “Let’s just wait till we find out who wins the Democratic primary.”

                Theo smiled and said, “Alright what do you want to talk about.”

                “Did you here Washington State had a referendum to overturn a 1998 decision that banned preferential treatment for minorities and women?”
                “No, I didn’t.  Affirmative Action strikes again.”

                “Yup, they specifically say government  jobs and college administration should prefer minorities and women.”

                “Even though women make up 51% of the enrollees in college?”

                “Yup” she said with a mocking smile

                “Well every time the government forces equality, it forces people to be treated unequally.”

                She gave him a dirty look and said, “Are you going to give me this reverse racism shit?”

                “Yes I am, what else do you call it” Theo said defensively. 

                The lawyer shook her head and said, “Well, Asians in Washington are suing because they feel it’s unfair to them.”

                Theo smiled, “God, I love how Asians are doing what White people have always been too afraid to do.  No Asian man guilt!”

                “Well they didn’t enslave people”

                It was Theo’s turn to give her a dirty look, “Yes they did.  Thai kings kept Burmese as sex slaves and had harems up until the late 90s, the Rape of Nanking by the Japanese wasn’t just a hyperbolic expression.  The things the Japanese did to the Chinese is more barbaric than anything seen in any movie or seen in history.  Look at World War II, POW’s under the NAZI’s had a 33% survival rate.  In Asia, that was less than 1%.  The Japanese and Asians didn’t even keep records so we don’t even know how many they killed.  The Turks enslaved my people and the Armenians.  Everyone had slaves.”

                “Fine, you made your point.”

                “The Asians just don’t feel guilty for shit they themselves didn’t do.  I mean I don’t know anyone that lynched a black person let alone if it was an ancestor of mine.  But then again my ancestors were under Turkish rule.”

                “Turkey is hardly Asia.”

                “I think it is.”

                “Debatable”

                “Well they are in European contests so you may have a point.”

                “See?”

                The dinner ended and they said good bye.  Theo said, “Thanks for helping me out today”

                “I honestly didn’t do anything.”

                “Yea, but you still came”

                “Any time but, you know, try to avoid getting arrested”

                Theo laughed, “Will do.”

                The next day Theo went back to work normally.  Agent Han was not penalized in any way for falsely accusing Theo.