Fanis the bodyguard Episode 5 The new "Lie Filled Document"

                Kera and Fanis are both multilingual and living in London, England.  Fanis is Kera’s bodyguard as she travels the world dealing in Chinese antiques.  They are 2^nd cousins that have trust issues with everyone.  Although this includes each other, Fanis is the closest person Kera trusts not to betray her.  Kera is very liberal and Fanis is a far-right conservative and the former often baits the latter into debates.

                Fanis received a phone call and he answers it.  The caller starts the conversation in Greek.  Fanis and Kera are 2^nd generation Greek-Americans and both are fluent.  The caller is also a Greek American that has gained notoriety the last couple of years for reasons he wished he was not known for.  The caller says, “Hey Fanis, it’s George”

                “Hi George, how are you doing?”

                “Not well.  Jim Comey is writing an op-ed that’s going to have people asking me a lot of questions so I want to just get away for a bit.  Do you mind if I come visit?”

                “Not at all, but you do realize Kera and I are going to be asking you the same questions you are trying to avoid.”

                “Better two than countless”

                Fanis considered this a moment and admitted, “That’s true.”

                George Papadopoulos flew to London and arranged dinner with Kera and Fanis.  By the time he landed, both of them had read Comey’s op-ed piece in the Washington Post.  When they sat for dinner, Kera said, “Well, you two must be happy now that England’s Brexit party picked up 30 seats.”

                Fanis opined, “Best performance by a new political party in history.  Similar right-wing parties won in Italy and France too.”

                George chimed in, “It looks like the world is reacting to the vile despicable things the left is doing to the world.”
                Kera sighed and uttered, “Why do I think this is just going to be you guys ganging up on me?”

                Fanis rebutted, “Because we are.” With a smile

                Kera countered, “It’s just EU elections.  It doesn’t mean anything.”

                Fanis said, “Alright, enough with appetizers, let’s talk about Comey.”

                George looked at his watch and uttered sarcastically, “Look at that, we got through like five minutes.”

                Fanis responded with mock seriousness, “I know, the suspense was killing me.”

                Kera giggled and George smiled.  Kera harangued, “Why don’t we be fair to your guest.  Fanis and I will debate and you just chime in if we misspeak or if you want to add something.”

                George glared at Kera and cried out, “You can’t honestly say you’re defending this piece of shit are you?”

                Fanis commented, “He is an awful human being.”

                Kera said, “Well, he only wrote it because Bill Barr is going to declassify things to make him look bad.  He needs to defend himself.”

                “Precisely, he knows he’s about to get caught” countered Fanis.

                “Look, it’s called ‘no treason, no coup just lies and dumb lies at that’ he’s just saying that Trump is overreacting using words like ‘treason’ and ‘coup’”

                “This is a common problem with Comey.  He uses slight of hand in his speech to make it seem like he’s saying one thing but really he actually said another.  Lawyers do it all the time.  Luckily you have me to translate.  When he says ‘no treason, no coup’ he makes a statement.  Then he says, ‘just lies and dumb lies at that’ he’s not talking about Trump, he’s talking about himself.  He told the lies and dumb lies at that but the lie is that it isn’t treasonous or a coup.” Fanis retorted.

                Kera gave him a dirty look and declared, “Okay, that’s ridiculous.  Let’s just get into specifics.  What did he say that was a lie?”

                “He says that ‘Trump official knew about the e-mail hacks and leaks seven weeks before they did and it describes the Russian effort to influence the campaign. Well we have the person he’s talking about at our table.  The big problem with this of course is that the e-mails that Mifsud told our friend George here about was not the Russian effort to disrupt the elections.  Those e-mails were about Hillary’s e-mails.  The Russian effort e-mails were the DNC hacked e-mails.   Comey mentioned that Wikileaks leaked them but, again, those were the DNC e-mails not the Hillary e-mails.”

                “Maybe Comey didn’t know that” suggested Kera

                “He’s the FBI director.  If I know that, you don’t think he does?”

                George chimed in, “Let’s not forget that when he said that I told him I don’t know what he’s talking about and I wanted to end the conversation.  They always conveniently leave that part out.”

                Kera said, “Alright well he could have misspoke.  Go on.”

                Fanis continues, “Comey said that George talked to a Russian agent here in London.  Obviously  we’re talking about Mifsud.  Mifsud had dirt on Hillary but nobody from the Trump campaign told him about, they had to hear it from a friendly diplomat.  In this case, Australian Alexander Downer.”

                Kera pronounced, “Well, they did hear it from him”

                Fanis retored, “No they didn’t. Downer said they never talked about dirt on Hillary.  He denied they were drunk.  He just said damaging information and again, George didn’t want to hear any of it.  He said he didn’t know what they were talking about and never mentioned Mifsud or anything Mifsud told him.”

                Kera turned to George and said, “And if you had, they would have arrested you.  You sniffed out the entrapment campaign.  Good job.  But, just to play Devil’s Advocate, Mueller did say that Mifsud had Russian ties”

                Fanis said, “Exactly, even Mueller doesn’t say he was a Russian asset.  You’re making my point.  Mueller disagrees with Comey.  Both are wrong anyway because if you Google ‘Mifsud’ he’s photographed with a lot of Western intelligence assets.”

                George opined, “Don’t forget that when he says nobody from the Trump campaign told them it’s because I didn’t tell the Trump campaign.  I knew they were full of it so it wasn’t even worth repeating.  They wanted me to tell the campaign, I didn’t.  I did, however, tell the FBI that I thought Downer was spying on me.  Thus, the only reason they spoke to him was because of me.”

                Fanis glared at George and replied, “Not exactly.  They sent him to set you up so they already knew about him.  Since they sent him after you, they asked him what you said.  That’s how they talked to him.  They would have spoken to him regardless if you told the FBI or not.”

                “I know but you get my point.”

                “I do, the things they leave out is a travesty.  They also said they didn’t know about it until late July but that’s a lie too because FBI agent Gaeda came here on July 5 to meet with Steele.”

                George pronounced, “And Halper arranged all those dinners and meetings in mid-July”

                Kera challenged, “There has to be some part of it that’s true”

                George and Fanis shook their head and looked at each other and George uttered, “You know, I’m not sure if one sentence is true”

                Fanis mocked, “Let’s keep going maybe we’ll find one true sentence.”

                Kera rolled her eyes.  She gets to the next part and says, “Well, this part he’s just whining. ‘what should we have done?  Tell the Trump campaign, leak to the media? Let it Go?  No.  Boo hoo, quit whining.”
                Fanis finger rose in the air.  He shouted out, “Yes, we found one.  He didn’t let it go.  That is true!”
                George laughed and said, “He didn’t tell the Trump campaign either.”

                Fanis waved his finger and declared, “Ah yes, but remember the first part about what he should have done.  Although it’s true he didn’t, it is a lie that he shouldn’t have.  I mean, when they found out there was a Chinese spy in Diane Feinstein’s camp, they warned her and told him about it so she could fire him.  That is what you’re supposed to do.  So, it’s only half true.”

                Kera uttered, “It says he should investigate, he did.”

                Fanis countered, “The wrong people.  He investigated Trump and the campaign.  He should have investigated the source and the Russians and try to verify the information.”

                Kera came back with, “Yea but they didn’t leak it to the press.”

                George and Fanis cried out at the same time, “Yes they did.”

                Fanis pulled out his phone and showed her a New York Times article less than a week before the election that said the FBI thinks Russians infiltrated Trump’s campaign and spoke, “See, he did tell the press.  I mean the media was all over this shit.”

                George grinned and rejoined, “Put a pin in that.  It’ll become useful later in the article.”

                Kera sighed and kept reading.  She put down her phone after reading, “We don’t want to smear Americans.”

                Fanis laughed hard and Kera giggled.  She stated in exasperation, “Okay, this one I can’t even defend I mean he charged you George and Carter Page with process crimes.  He basically couldn’t shut up about Trump.”

                Fanis articulated, “And he leaked all that to David Corn at Mother Jones”

                George said, “And he stated that he didn’t know if Trump was a Russian asset or not.”

                Fanis piled on, “And described Carter Page’s help on the Biekov case or whatever his name was to charge and imprison Russians was him colluding with them.”

                Kera added, “And you just showed me the 11/1/16 Times piece about “Final October Surprises reveal FBI is probing Trump’s alleged ties’ so how can he say this is a secret?”

                Fanis opined, “Because people have no memories.  After two and a half years most people forget that the Trump –Russia stuff happened before the election.”

                Kera queried, “Why though?  What’s the reasoning for saying something that can so easily be refuted?”

                Fanis answered, “Because that is the new leftist talking memo and Comey has to be their little bitch and say anything that supports the angle they want to go with; regardless of how ridiculous it is.   Clearly since we only found one sentence that was true so far.”

                Kera replied, “What is the talking point exactly?”

                George responded, “That the Hillary investigation hurt Hillary because it was before the election but they kept the Trump investigation secret so it helped him.”

                Fanis blurted out, “Which is bullshit because they closed the Hillary investigation before the election but not the Trump one.”

                Kera said, “Alright, let’s move on.  We are in agreement that this is ridiculous.”  She kept reading and giddily declared, “I found another one.  ‘we didn’t gather information about the campaign strategy.’”

                Fanis cringed his eyes and rejoined, “So what?  You tried to undermine the campaign and make him lose.  Who cares about strategy?  He sabotaged it.”

                George suggested, “Keep reading”

                Fanis picked up on it and declared, “’We investigated?’ ‘We didn’t spy on anyone’s campaign?’  ‘Carter Page wasn’t part of the campaign?’  Does he think we don’t know what the 2-hop rule is?”

                Kera shot Fanis a dirty look and came back with, “Not many people know what the 2-hop rule is.”

                Fanis explained, “Carter Page was in contact with the campaign still.  They can see all his e-mails.  Then they can see who the people he e-mailed e-mailed.  This two degree of separation links you to the whole campaign.  And, just for shits and giggles, it doesn’t have to be going forward, it can be past e-mails too!”

                George chimed in, “Don’t forget Stephen Halper was sent by Brennan to get all buddy buddy with me, Sam Clovis and Carter Page.”

                Fanis added on, “Yea, and then they sent Azra Turk to seduce you so you would spill all the goods for that hot piece of ass.”

                Kera glared at Fanis and reprimanded, “Really?!”

                Fanis had a guilty look on his face but retorted, “What? You’re my cousin what do you care?”

                George uttered, “I guess we found another truthful thing.  He says the FBI wasn’t sent to spy.  The CIA was sent to spy not the FBI.”

                Kera opined, “Even I have to admit that three sentences in a very long op-ed isn’t too impressive.  Let’s keep going though.  She read, “Late October, investigators thought they had probable cause to get a FISA on Carter Page.”

                George challenged, “Like the probable cause I got arrested at Dulles for at 2AM?”

                Fanis gleamed and said, “Do I have to even comment on this?”

                Kera responded, “No, we know that the Steele information and the dossier weren’t verified.  What do you need in a FISA anyway?”

                George opined, “To tell the truth and not leave out exculpatory information.”

                Kera giggled and shot back, “Besides that.”

                George nodded but Fanis explained, “You need two pieces.  Both need to be true it’s not either or.  The first is that a US citizen is acting on behalf of a foreign agent.  AND they are acting with a foreign agent in violation of US Law.”

                Kera pondered this and decided, “First one is a stretch but definitely not the second one.”

                George declared, “They fail on both accounts.  Probable cause required verified information.  Nothing was verified.”

                Fanis pounced on, “Kavalec memos means the FBI already knew that some of Steele’s information were lies and his sources were Russian disinformation artists.  We know Carter Page was still in communication with Trump campaign but it doesn’t matter because we can get past e-mails.”

                Kera chimed in, “And he went with that court ordered line.”

                Fanis cried out, “Which we know is retarded because he makes it seem like the court told him to investigate. That’s not how it works.  You go to the court and present information.  The court doesn’t verify it they make you swear what you say is true.  They don’t investigate.  If you lie it’s on you.”

                Kera conceded, “Fine, almost this entire thing is a lie.  It really is a piece of garbage.  I hate Trump but this is really worthless and even I can’t defend it.”

                George and Fanis beamed with delight and raised their arms simultaneously.  Fanis yelled out, “Victory is mine.”

                Kera nodded and fired back with, “Well, a new study talks about increased anti-Semitic attacks by right wingers.”

                Fanis nodded and suggested, “Keep reading.  One, listen to Democrats and listen to Conservatives.  Which one is pro-Israel?”

                George chimed in, “Who moved the US embassy to Jerusalem again?”

                Kera got to the part Fanis was referring to and let out a guttural groan.  Fanis smirked and asked, “Did you find it?”

                Kera narrowed her eyes staring a hole through her cousin and quoted the piece, “If the data didn’t specify who the perpetrators were, we assumed it was a right wing person.”

                Fanis sarcastically stated, “Oh yea, that seems fair.”

                George suggested, “Alright, we had our fun. Now can we talk about other topics?”

                Kera cried out, “Please.”

                They talked about other topics and the dinner went on in a casual tone for a couple more hours.  After dinner, George went back to the hotel where his wife was sleeping off the long flight from LA.  Kera and Fanis returned to their home and Kera proposed that they watch the Mueller press conference together.

                Fanis inquired, “You’re really a glutton for punishment aren’t you?”

                Kera rolled her eyes and said, “Let’s just hear what he has to say.  Try to keep an open mind.”

                Fanis agreed and they watched the ten minute Mueller press conference.  When it was over Fanis sighed and muttered, “I think my bullshit tolerance has reached its peak for one day.”

                Kera pronounced, “Well his report speaks for itself so don’t bother asking him about it.  He’s not going to answer any questions.”

                Fanis blurted out, “He doesn’t want to be questioned by any Trump-friendly congressman about when he knew there was no collusion.  He just wanted to damage the presidency.  That’s the only purpose of his 35 million dollar probe.”

                Kera challenged, “Well the Russians did launch a social media campaign that influenced the election.”

                Fanis glared at her and retorted, “A couple Facebook messages can derail several commercials, rallies, social media posts by celebrities and non-celebrities alike, the media coverage, the interviews and everything else?  You think Facebook is that powerful that everything , including other people’s Facebook accounts, are defenseless against it?”

                Kera responded, “Well no but it was in the ICA?”

                Fanis shot back, “And whose fault is that?  Mark Zuckerberg?”  It was based on the dossier, which means it was salacious and unverified, Comey’s words not mine, and discredited several times most notably by Kavalec.”

                “So how did it get there?”

                “To hurt Trump!  Barak Obama wanted it there so they made it happen.”

                “Comey and Brennan are fighting over who told who to put it in there.”

                “Brennan did. He’s the CIA.  He’s Steele’s friend.  He was the puppetmaster with all this shit pulled here in London.”

                “So you think Comey is telling the truth?” Kera challenged accusatorily.

                “For once” Fanis came back with realizing what she was getting at.  He continued, “They wanted to set up a special counsel to do exactly what they did.  Mire Trump’s presidency with investigations.  In this case, a special council.”

                “Well if you’re right, then declassification will reveal all of this.”

                “Then the asshole brings up obstruction again.”

                “Yea and that Office of Legal Council rule that you can’t indict a sitting president.”

                “Barr asked him if that was why he didn’t make a call on obstruction and he said no.  Barr asked him three times and all three times Mueller denied it yet he still says it.  But I forgot, we can’t ask him anything, it’s all in the report.  He just wants to give the mainstream media a talking point.  This is sick.  This is really getting serious.  It’s dangerous and disgusting”

                “Well, it’s a good thing you’re in London?”

                “Why? The UK was implicit and participated in this heavily.  They’re just as culpable.”

                “Well good thing we travel a lot.”

                “I guess.  Then he talks about the constitutional remedy”

                Kera cheerily chimed in, “I mean what anti-Trump press conference would be complete without talking about impeachment?”

                “Seriously” Fanis admitted as he put his hand to his head and sighed in exasperation.

                Kera said, “I hope he does.  He’s just so arrogant.”

                “Not a high crime and misdemeanor to be arrogant.  I can only hope that it turns the country against the Democrats just like impeaching Clinton turned people against Republicans.  I can’t predict Americans anymore.  The fact that AOC has a following just shows how retarded our public is.”

                “And that 25% of them think that 9/11 was an inside job.”

                “Yea, I hope everything gets declassified and the Democrats don’t wiggle out of this.  I hope that Barr and Durham are just as ruthless as them and I hope a shitload of people go to jail for this.”

                “Don’t lie; you want them hanged for treason.”

                “Nobody hangs people anymore Kera” He shouted back

                “Fine, lethal injection” she fired back

                Fanis nodded and declared, “You know, I would be okay with it but it’s not going to happen.”

                With that, Kera changed the topic to other things.  It was a very frustrating day for both of them as the lies and audacity of Comey angered Fanis and Kera had to deal with being put in a position where it was difficult to defend her views and idealogy.