Theo the Trump Employee Episode 20 Setting the Record Straight

                Theo has been working for the White House ever since Donald Trump became president of the United States.  He knew that the left hated Trump but he had no idea the animus and vitriol he would experience after he was inaugurated.  Living as a conservative in the left infested New York City for 17 years, he thought that he was prepared for the fight but he had no idea how Trump’s election would cause the left to stop even pretending to be civil or cordial and go on an all out war mode.  If Theo were being honest, however, he would tell, you that he loved it.  This is why he often found himself going to bars after work in order to bait liberals into debating him. It was actually a learning experience for both of them because the liberals could talk to conservative and realize that they’re not all bible thumping war hawks.  Even those two things are more mutually exclusive than symbiotic.                 

                Today was an odd day at the White House.  The staff was all being interviewed as to their reasoning for joining the campaign.  Theo, not being one to keep silent, spoke out, “What is this really about?”

                To his surprise, he actually got a straight answer.  The official explained, “We have just found out that Jim Comey had made up a new position for Anthony Ferrante so he could stay on in the FBI on reserve status rather than be let go.”

                “Anthony Ferrante?  Didn’t he work here, I think I met him”

                “You did.  After the President was elected, the FBI, namely Comey, placed him in the White House.  It turns out he has an extensive background in cybersecurity.  A damage assessment is being conducted to see what exactly he did and if any of it was criminal.”

                “Didn’t that come up in Strzok and Page text messages? I thought we already found it with “Katie’s Husband” being Pitcock, Vice President Pence’s Chief of Staff”

                “If you recall, those texts were talking about who else to send.  Jeff Pitcock was only one person the FBI threw at us to infiltrate our campaign.  It did mention a computer guy but until now we were unsure who it was.  Now we know it was Anthony Ferrante so we’re just meeting with people to see if the FBI or CIA has anyone else spying on us and being a mole.”

                “Ferrante hasn’t worked here in a while though.”

                “Thar’s correct.  In February 2018, he left and was hired by Buzzfeed to investigate the Dossier claims and their legitimacy.”

                “Gee, I wonder why they thought he was qualified for that!” Theo opined sarcastically. 

                “It’s important that we constantly remain vigilant.  I hope you understand you’re not being accused of anything.”

                “Look fire away.  After what I’ve seen with the misuse of the NSA database and FISA’s based on no information or knowingly salacious and unverified information, I’m pretty sure the intelligence community knows more about me than I do so fire away.”

                Fire away they did and Theo calmly answered all their questions.  Although he hated when people claimed ‘if you have nothing to hide, then you don’t care about being investigated,’ because it was how Stalin rose to power.  Given how the left constantly changes the rules so that they can make up crimes you’re guilty of, this cliché needs to be thrown away.  Lucky for Theo, these were conservatives who had a clear set of rules that he knew he was following.  Once in a while answering these questions was acceptable but every day or even every week, then he would be less than forthcoming.  Today though, he was okay with the questioning.  They just got rocked by finding yet another mole in the White House so they needed to check house.  After work he goes to a bar needing the decompression more than the fight.  It only takes him two gin and tonics before he has forgotten about the high tension in the White House that day.  While sitting at the bar, he hears a couple people in their mid-20s talking.  One of them says, “I mean, look how racist Georgia is, one of their own congresswomen is harassed at a local Publics for being black.”

                Theo was familiar with the incident and turned to the two guys and stated, “Don’t you have any cognitive dissonance that they elected a black woman to congress yet you still think they’re racist?  That’s the first indication that maybe you don’t have the whole story.”

                “No, she specifically said to go back where you came from.”

                “What was the context?”

                “It doesn’t matter.  In no context is that okay”

                “Really?  Well why is it that Erica Thomas, the congresswoman in question, said later that she wasn’t sure of the exact wording but it was something along those lines?”

                “That changes nothing”

                “How about the guy who came forward is a Trump hating liberal.  He’s not even white, he’s Cuban.  So, you’re calling a Hispanic racist.”

                Theo knew many Hispanics.  A lot of them were more racist than any white person he knew simply because they don’t like each other.  Puerto Ricans and Dominicans hate each other.  The rest of the Latino community won’t even acknowledge that the Puerto Ricans and Dominicans even speak Spanish since their version is filled with slang and they seldom use “E” and “s” when they speak.  This actually fascinated Theo because he discovered that the more one voiced how much they hated the other, the closer they were to them.  Most of Theo’s friends were Dominican so he spoke from that perspective.  The Dominican he knew that hated Puerto Ricans more than any other Dominican he knew was married to a Puerto Rican.  He also found that Dominicans who had no friends or family that were Puerto Ricans were the least vocal and though agreeing that there is validity to the generalization, it wasn’t true for them.  Theo being of Greek descent was always perplexed by this.  In Europe, when they say they hate a group, they do not associate with them at all.  Asking an Englishman that just told you how much they hate French people, “Then why are all your closest friends French?” would be received with shock and questioning if you were even listening.  Asking a Dominican the same question after they told you how much they hate Puerto Ricans would get a response that would not even attempt to refute the assumption you just made.  Apparently, even racism differed by culture.  His current audience, however, were two white liberals so they would pretend to only hate white people and wouldn’t dare criticize a Hispanic.  Sure enough, the man replied, “Oh well, he looked white.”

                “Yea, Cubans are generally lighter skinned than other Hispanics but you can’t take away their Hispanic card just because of the color of their skin.”

                The other one spoke up for the first time, “Whoa whoa whoa, no I’m not saying that.  I mean who am I to say who’s Hispanic and who’s not?”

                Theo piled on, “So the Cuban guy claims Erica Thomas was just doing it for political reasons.  Are you calling him a liar?”

                The person who made the original comment declared, “Well, I guess since we weren’t there, we don’t really know what happened.”

                “Of course we do” Theo fired back, “The police investigated the matter and interviewed all witnesses.  Erica Thomas was in the express line and the Cuban guy called her out on it because she had more than 11 items.  At first, I thought that the context makes sense since ‘Go back where you came from’ could mean the regular line that isn’t the express line rather than a continent or country.”

                The two liberals looked at each other and said nothing and Theo let them stew on that for a moment.  Finally the original person said, “I’m Alex by the way” extending his hand. 

Theo shook it and said, “Theo”

The other man extended his hand and said, “Zach.”

To which Theo shook it and said “Nice to meet you.” Before continuing, “Then the plot thickened when a cashier was being interviewed by the cops.  The cashier says that Erica Thomas told the Hispanic to go back where he came from.  The cop asked several times if she just misspoke and it was actually he that said it to her.  The cashier was adamant that she said it to him.”

Alex asked, “So she’s the racist?”

“No, I think Erica Thomas meant the exact same thing that I thought he meant when I thought he was the speaker.  I don’t change my story just because the speaker goes from Hispanic to Black.  They were arguing and she told him to go back to whatever aisle he just came from or wherever he was before he called her out.”

Zach rejoined, “Well, we don’t know how many items she had so we don’t really know who’s right.”

“That’s pretty easy to figure out.  All you got to do is look at the receipt and count the items.  Oddly, Erica Thomas refuses to hand over her receipt.”

                Alex answered, “Maybe she threw the receipt away.  I mean a lot of people don’t keep their receipts”

                “Why not just say that?”

                “I don’t know, I guess this case is more complicated than we thought.”

                “Not really.  It’s becoming more and more apparent that Erica Thomas just lied.  I mean how many times are we going to have these hoaxes? Between Jussie Smullett, all the 2014 pictures at the border being passed off as current, now this.  Conservatives must be such great people because liberals always feel the need to stage or make up stuff just to try to make them look racist.  Hell, in the case of this and the border pictures, they’re really documenting shit liberals do and pretending it was a conservative.”

                Alex snapped back, “Enjoy your drink.  We kind of came here to socialize amongst ourselves not with other people.”

                Theo smiled and replied, “Enjoy your night”

                Zach expressed, “You too.”

                Theo boarded the train to go back to Rockville, Maryland where he lived.  It would take about an hour to get there.  While he was sitting down, he heard a black man yell.  He looked over and apparently the issue was that the black man had his bike in the middle of the train and another black guy in a wheelchair pushed his way on and moved the bike to make room for him on the train.  The bicyclist took issue that the guy in the wheelchair didn’t just go to another door.  At first he ignored them.  The bicyclist was also seated in a chair and there was a woman in between them.  As they kept going at it, the woman calmly said, “Alright, we’re all in this together.  It’s a crowded train.”

                This didn’t stop them from bickering.  The man in the wheel chair, to his credit, remained calm and kept saying ‘my man’ trying to ease the tension but the bicyclist kept yelling that he wasn’t listening.  Finally, Theo had had enough and yelled out, “Hey, it’s over.  The bike is fine.  Everyone’s on the train, it’s over.  The issue is gone.”

                Other people on the train started chiming in and the bicyclist pronounced, “I’m not talking to anyone else on this train.  I’m only talking to him.” And went back to bickering

                Theo contemplated retorting that if he only wanted to talk to him, he should stop yelling but thought better of it.  The woman then lost her patience and exclaimed, “Shut the fuck up!”

                Theo snapped up to see how this was going to be received.  He wasn’t going to tolerate them disrespecting a woman but the two men just ignored her and kept debating.  The guy in the wheelchair tried a different tact saying that he respected bicyclist as he used to ride them.  The bicyclist took this as he trying to garner sympathy for being in a wheelchair and retorted, “I don’t care that you’re in a wheelchair, I’ll bust you up if you hurt my bike.”

                The train reached the next stop and the train cleared out.  The woman moved from her position and sat next to Theo.  The woman shook her head and commented, “Fucking ridiculous”

                “I know, I mean I get it in the beginning but once everyone’s on the train and the bike is okay it should be over.”

                “Right”

                Theo extended his hand, “I’m Theo”

                “Biancha” as she shook his hand.

                Biancha looked to be in her mid-40s with a thin frame and large sunglasses that she kept on even though she was on an underground train.  Theo asked, “What do you do?”
                “I’m an attorney”
                “Nice, I work in the White House.”

                Theo loved saying this to see the reactions.  Unfortunately for him, the woman just nodded and declared, “Yea, most people in this town work for the government in some capacity or the other.”

                “Are you working on any cases right now?”

                “Yea, I’m reviewing the Mike Flynn case.  Are you familiar with it?”

                “I am, I’m of the opinion he was set up.  The FBI agents that interviewed him said they didn’t think he was being deceptive.  Nobody has been charged under the Logan Act since 1789 and being charged for lying for not remembering a conversation you had six months ago when someone is staring at a transcript seems a little asinine.  What say you counselor?”

                Biancha smiled, “I guess you’re not just a casual observer to this” she opined with a smile.  Theo responded with a grin of his own.  Biancha hated when non-lawyers commented on the law.  She continued, “It’s actually worse than you think.”

                Now Theo was interested, “What do you mean?  I mean, I know you’re not allowed to speak on an ongoing case but what can you tell me?”

                “I’m not a lawyer on the case.  I’m just reviewing the case.  I teach at George Mason and I wanted to explain a high profile case to my students.  Unfortunately, my lesson is going to be more about what not to do than teaching about good procedure.”

                “Oh, do tell” Theo articulated with excitement in his voice

                Biancha laughed.  “Well, they’re looking into the FARA document.  The claim is that Mike Flynn worked for a Dutch company that had financial ties to the Turkish government.”

                “Right, but Flynn claims he didn’t know about the Turkish ties.  I’m of the opinion that they used the two hop rule because the government had a FISA on Flynn so now they could monitor the inner communications of the company and that’s how they knew about the Turkish ties.”

                “That would have actually been good investigative work.  Instead, the government didn’t even try to get financial information from Turkey in the case.  The prosecution actually admitted that to the judge.”

                “Wait what?  So they allege that someone who lobbies for a Dutch company that is being financed by the Turkish government but then they didn’t even think to follow the money?”

                “Movie legal jargon aside, yes, that’s exactly what the prosecution told the judge.”

                “So they just made it up.  They have no evidence that the Dutch company has financial ties to the Turkish government.  They just decided that was the case so they could charge Flynn.  I was right, it was a set up.”

                “That’s kind of a stretch.  In order to set someone up from a crime, you have to know what crime you set him up for.”

                “You know, I’m just going to stop talking.  You seem to know a lot more about this than I do.”

                Biancha gave a knowing smirk as if to say that she agreed but was too nice to say it.  “The judge told the government that it was important that the jury be instructed specifically what conduct constitutes a violation of FARA.  It needs to be clearly defined.”

                “I’m not a lawyer but that seems like basic legal theory.  In order for the jury to convict of a crime they need to know what the crime is and what it means to violate it.”

                “You know what the prosecution said?” Biancha’s eyes got wide with a large sarcastic smile on her face

                “No”

                “They actually told the judge that they haven’t really figured out a good way to do that.”

                “If they don’t even know how Flynn violated the law, how is Flynn supposed to know?”

                “That’s what the judge said” Biancha blurted out in exasperation “they’ve had three years to clearly define the crime and they can’t.  Yet Flynn is supposed to know in 2016?”

                “How has the judge not thrown this case out yet?”

                “Because it’s the government and they’re very well connected.  Guaranteed, if someone like me tried this shit, any non-government lawyer for that matter, the judge would tear them a new one and throw the case and them out of the chambers.  Hell, maybe even disbarred for not remembering anything you fucking learned in law school.  This isn’t even law school 101, this is like kindergarten.  Anyway, this is my stop.  It was nice talking to you.”

                “Likewise, thanks for the knowledge.”

                “No problem.  Now tomorrow, I have to do it all over again to my students.”

                Theo looked over and the bicyclist was no longer on the train but the man in the wheelchair was.  He was just happy that there was peace again.  He got to Rockville and went to his house where he pulled up twitter.  He saw a video of Georgetown student being read a quote that it’s important for asylum seekers to not all come to America but process their asylum cases in the first country that they come to.  Theo looked at his phone and yelled out, “That’s an Obama quote! Damn why do these hoaxers always lie!” even though Trump passed a bill saying similar things.

                Predictably, the Georgetown students all were horrified at the blatant racism of that statement and condemned it totally.  Then the interviewer showed them the video and they watched Barack Obama make the speech saying that.  Theo smiled for now he knew it wasn’t a hoax, it was exposing college students for being the sheep that they are even at Georgetown where they are supposed to be really smart.  Amazingly, every student changed their tune the second they found out it was Obama and no longer considered the quote racist.  Some tried to save face from the blatant hypocrisy and contradiction by expressing their shock that they thought it was ‘something Trump would say.’ But that doesn’t change the fact that comments are either racist or not racist, it doesn’t matter who says them.  This objectivity was lost in today’s society and it angered Theo.  Theo then began looking at New York news and was finding out that De Blasio was running that city to the ground more and more.  The article was about how wealthy New Yorkers were moving to Miami.  Theo commented to nobody since he lived alone, “Well, they all have second homes down there anyway, might as well just make it a permanent escape rather than just a winter one.”

Theo actually was nervous about this mass migration out of New York and California to Florida and Texas.  He had a feeling it was strategic to turn swing states or traditionally red states, like Texas, to blue.  It never ceased to amaze him that when people move out of high tax liberal run states for the high taxes and horrendous liberal policies, they still vote Democrat in their new home not realizing that that was what they were fleeing.  His news searching was interrupted by a text message from his friend Denise.  She said, “Shitty day at work, do you want to meet up?”

“Your timing sucks.  I just got home” Theo replied

“I can drive out to you.”

Denise lived in Virginia by the Pentagon.  DC was a good halfway point but Theo was going to take what he could get.  He responded, “Yea sure” Denise went to Georgetown so Theo couldn’t resist, “I was just watching kids from your alma mater get worked crying racism over a quote until they found out Obama said it. Then they did a complete 180”

“Yea well, college kids are dumb, we all know that.”

“You’re a Democrat too. I think you would have fallen for it.”

“So this is what I have to look forward to when I’m nice enough to drive all the way to Rockville???”

“Hey, you know what you get with me.”

“Yea yea, I know”

They pick a place for dinner and Theo meets Denise there.  Theo starts, “So what happened today?”

“I honestly don’t want to talk about it.  Let’s just talk about something else.”

“Alright, are you surprised that after doing so well four years ago, Sanders isn’t doing so well in the polls?”

“Not really.  He’s very open about his communism”

“All the candidates are.”

“He’s the only one to admit he’s going to tax everyone and that everyone loves paying taxes.”

“He did say that didn’t he?  I keep going back and forth on whether or not he’s a fraud.  On one hand, he corrects people who say the Medicare for all price tag is not 30 Trillion dollars, it’s 40 Trillion dollars but then he attacks millionaires when he is one.”

Denise took on a mocking tone, “The whole ‘if anyone thinks I should apologize for being a millionaire, I won’t.  I wrote a bestselling book.  Anyone that writes a bestselling book deserves to be a millionaire.”

Theo matched her tone, “Now that I’m a millionaire, I don’t want anyone else to be one so I’m going to destroy all the employers so they can’t trickle their money down to the people and instead force them to give it to the government so I can stay rich at the expense of everyone else.”

Denise glared at him and scolded, “Leave it to you to cross the line.”

“What do you mean?  He gives next to nothing to charity.  Making millions on a bestselling book is capitalism not socialism.  Communism would make you burn the book or, at least, not collect the profits from it.  He wants millionaires and billionaires to pay more in taxes but he, as a millionaire, doesn’t volunteer any more money to the government in taxes.”

“He pays what he owes”

“So do all the other millionaires and billionaires.  When they got a tax cut, they all, including Bernie, paid the lower rate not the previous one.  How can you condemn people for doing the exact same thing you did?”

“They had a lot of write offs”

“Because they gave so much money to charity.  Bernie could have done that. He just chose not to.”

                “Look, he’s trying to get people their $15/hr minimum wage so he’s helping the little guy too.”

                “His campaign advisor Faiz Shakir admits that they cut hours from the lower level campaign workers so he wouldn’t have to pay them $15/hr.  He says nobody will cut hours or lay off employees because all employers can afford to keep everyone at $15/hr yet he doesn’t himself.”

                “You can’t live on $15/hr”

                “When I worked for Bloomberg in 2005, I was being paid $10/hr and I was happy.”

                “You were a college student.  You’re parents were paying for the big expenses like rent and probably food.”

                “Who do you think are the majority of people being paid under $15/hr? High school and college students who are building work experience and being taught good habits. “

                “Like you said, he’s losing in the polls so why not just leave him alone.”

                “You need to step on his throat because he started the revolution so kick him while he’s down to lessen his chances of making a comeback.  The election is a long time from now. He has time to come back.  Pile on, bury him six feet or more under.  Step on the throat.  No mercy.  No tolerance for the Communist.  Actually, you know what, he’s not a fraud.  He is a communist leader.  All the money for me, none for you and we’re going to steal all your hard earned money to fund my policies and keep you poor.  If you complain then we’ll harshly interrogate you and belittle you and if you’re still a problem, we’ll kill you.”

                Denise rolled her eyes.  She needed to change the topic. She thought of something that would put Theo on the defensive.  She smiled and said, “How about that new budget deal that Trump has voiced support of?”

                Theo frowned, “Nothing’s official yet.  It’s still an evil Pelosi bill.  She’s holding the debt ceiling hostage so she can get a two year deal to raise the spending caps.”

                “Do you think we can handle that?  I mean last year’s spending put us in a deficit even with record revenues” Denise’s tone was condescending and mocking for she knew the answer.

                “Look, we’re near the debt ceiling now.  Under Obama, Pelosi condemned the Republican house to not hold the credit rating of the United States hostage, which Pelosi is doing now.  Pelosi called it serving to Republican toxic interests.  She’s a hypocrite.”

                “I know you love what aboutisms to expose hypocrisy but you’re deflecting.  What do you think about raising the debt ceiling?  The house approved it.”

                “The Senate better reject it.”

                “What if the Senate doesn’t?  Trump already said he likes it.  What if the Senate follows suit?”

                “The President better change his mind and veto that shit.”

                “And why would he do that?”

                Denise’s entire face was glowing as she had Theo right where she wanted him.  Theo’s shoulders slouched and he fired back, “Because if he doesn’t, he lied to us when he said he would never sign a bill like this last year.  Last year, he said he’d only do it to take care of the military but now Pelosi and the Democrats are doing it again.  They’re like, here Mr. President, we are giving more money to the military and, by the way, not important, we’re increasing spending on all the shit we like too so that America falls off the debt cliff and we blame you.”

                “Not to mention, all the conservatives will skewer him for lying because you conservatives can’t unite.  You have your rules and if anyone breaks it, you throw the book at them.”

                “I won’t throw the book at President Trump.  But yes, most conservatives will.  I’ll be deeply disappointed though.”

                “It’s going to happen, get ready.”

                “Unfortunately, I think you’re right.  I just hope that his opponent is so bad that people still can’t bring themselves to vote for Democrat and begrudgingly vote Trump.”

                “Given the leading candidates, you might get that wish.”

                Now it was Theo’s turn to change the topic because it wasn’t going his way.  He posed, “Did you see how Mueller’s ridiculousness hasn’t died yet?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “A judge sided with a Russian company that Mueller accused of conspiring with the Russian government to manipulate our election”

                “Which company?”

                “Concord”

                “Never heard of them.  Except, you know, the type of plane.”

                “Yea, I hadn’t either.”

                “Why would the judge rebuke Mueller?  He made a case; they just look at the evidence.  If he dismisses it, he dismisses it.”

                “Mueller made the accusation, publicized it but then didn’t include it in the indictment.”

                “Oh, yea that is bad.”

                “Not just bad, it’s illegal.  It’s called defamation.”

                “How does Concord see it?”

                “They’re considering filing a defamation lawsuit against Muller.”

                “Oh that’ll be really juicy.”

                “Yea, you know the fake news will spin it.  ‘See Trump colluded with the Russians because the Russians are going after Mueller for accusing them of manipulating our election.’”

“Makes sense to me.”

“Except that Trump had nothing to do with accusing Concord.  That’s all Mueller. Mueller falsely

accusing Russian companies is not Trump’s fault in any way shape or form.”

                “I’m sure the mainstream media and Democrats will understand that” Denise remarked sardonically. 

“You people just never stop.  I mean doesn’t it bother you to be so ridiculously wrong and

hypocritical all the time?”

                “Nah, it’s working.  Our tactics are very effective”

                Theo rolled his eyes and sarcastically retorted, “Yea, facts and data are against you, so that is your only hope.”

                Denise just smiled and shrugged her shoulders in response.  They made small talk and the dinner ended.  Since they were both Greek they hugged and put their cheeks next to each other and kissed the air in a traditional Greek good bye.  They each went to their respective homes winding down the day only to go back to the routine tomorrow.