Theo the Trump Employee Episode 17 Portland exposes all liberal faults

                Theo is on his way to North Korea.  Although the President and the new press secretary Stephanie Grisham get to fly on Air Force One, Theo has to fly commercially.  Theo is a White House employee and with President Trump going to North Korea, he’s been invited.  He loves travelling so is excited but has no illusions as it will be busy work and he won’t be able to do much site seeing.  Since before President Trump was in North Korea, he was in Japan, Theo had some time.  Also given that he had to fly out of Los Angeles, he felt he’d break up the trip by visiting his brother in Portland, Oregon. 

                Portland is the antithesis to everything Theo enjoyed.  He hated light rain and that’s what Portland almost always gets.  Spending most of his life in New York, he was always in a hurry so the slow pace of Portland infuriated him.  Also from his New York experience, he wasn’t accustomed to strangers randomly sparking a conversation with him but this happened all the time in Portland.  Even the liberals in Portland were very different from the liberals in New York.  Portland liberals are predominantly environmentalists whereas New York liberals just pretended to love paying taxes and took everything the media and New York Times said as gospel.  The most surprising thing about the difference in the two cities is that he had gone to college in New York and spent his entire 20s there.  Given this, he frequented bars a lot during this time but had never seen a bar fight in New York.  He had seen three in Portland where he obviously didn’t live nor spend much time.  His sister-in-law, who was born and raised in Portland, will tell you that it was all a coincidence and Portland people are the nicest, least violent people and she doesn’t fear for her three small children.  Theo was happy that they lived in Lake Oswego, which is about 30 minutes from Portland and filled with affluent people. 

                While Theo was flying to Portland, he was reading the New York Times presumably just to get upset to be ready for the militant liberals in Portland.  As usual, the New York Times didn’t disappoint.  In an op-ed piece, the writer was advocating for releasing the addresses of all the ICE agents so they would be deterred from doing their jobs for fear that drug cartels would come to their houses and threaten, rape or murder their spouses or children.  He shook his head and had to laugh to ease the tension.  Big Tech calls someone saying ‘everyone should live by the 10 commandments’ as hate speech but the same people don’t care about someone advocating that because they don’t agree with someone ideologically, they and their families deserve to be raped and murdered.  That is the current left.

                When he arrived at his brother’s house, he immediately told them about the New York Times article.  His sister-in-law told him that it was an op-ed piece so it didn’t really matter.  She said, “Freedom of speech covers people who disagree with you.”

                “Freedom of speech does not cover threats to people.  That is why the Secret Service offered $10,000 for any evidence whatsoever of the later debunked accusation that someone in a crowd during an Obama speech said, “Kill that N***er.”

                “That’s different, that’s the president.”

                Theo knew that his sister-in-law was an anti-Semitic Islamic Terrorist supporter after her time in in the Middle East, so she baited her by saying, “What about Laura Loomer being banned from twitter?”

                “Well she’s an idiot that doesn’t understand that Sharia law is about peace.”

                “Mutilating women’s clitoris and stoning them for showing their hair and allowing men to rape them if they refuse the man their father or brother chose for them.  Then, after being raped, the father or brother beats her.  You call that peaceful?”

                “You just don’t know how ignorant you sound.”

                “And you can’t explain it.  According to Einstein, if you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

                “Look, I don’t want to get into this with you.  You’re not going to convince me, and I’m not going to convince you.”

                “It’s just sad that I have to convince you that viciously attacking someone for not agreeing with you and trying to get them and their family raped and murdered is wrong.  I mean that should be obvious.”

                “They didn’t do it did they, it’s just talk.”

                “Portland’s domestic terrorist organization, ANTIFA, actually does it.”

                “It’s only like five people.  The conservative media blows it out of proportion.  My office is in Portland, I’ve never seen them.”

                “It gave rise to a counter organization called the proud boys.”

                “They are the real terrorists”

                “They’ve only attacked ANTIFA members.  They only have one target whereas ANTIFA pulls innocent people out of their cars and blocks traffic.  The people in the cars weren’t even known conservatives, they were just people that wanted to drive down the street and ANTIFA just decided no.”

                “Be honest, what would you want to do if you were driving on that street.”

                “Well, this is where I stray from conservatives”

                “Meaning what?”

                “I’d be scared so I would apply more pressure on the accelerator pedal of the car.  It would be based on the scientific theory that force is equal to mass times acceleration.  The car with me inside is a significant mass but without acceleration it may not have the force to take out the five people in the street.  By increasing the speed, I think I could generate enough force to plow through all five of them.  I then would halt the momentum of the car.  After all, the scientific method commands to retest.  So, I would put the car in reverse and back over the same people.  At this point, the people would probably be on the ground so I won’t need to have as much force to get through them, which is good because theoretically I would have less distance to accelerate.  Then I retest again by putting the car in drive and going over them again before going on my way.  After all, I’m a New Yorker, it’s already been a waste of time and I need to get to my destination.”

                “And you call us the crazy ones?”

                “it’s just words.  Didn’t you say words don’t mean anything” he said with a smile.

                “Well, it’s a good thing that they don’t really exist so you won’t run into them while you’re here.”

 

                The next day, a gay Vietnamese-American conservative named Andy Ngo was filming ANTIFA at one of their protests.  He was the man that took the viral video of ANTIFA blocking traffic that Theo was referencing.  ANTIFA was embarrassed for being exposed.  It didn’t just expose them but since there was a police car nearby it showed that the Portland Police Department didn’t lift a finger to protect its citizens from ANTIFA.  When the Proud boys attacked ANTIFA, the cops only went after the Proud boys.  The cops fought people that stood up to ANTIFA and gave ANTIFA free reign to do whatever they wanted from spraying people with pepper spray, stabbing people or simply yelling at them, whereas, the citizens weren’t allowed to defend themselves.  ANTIFA with this right to violence given to them by the Portland police department wasn’t about to let Andy Ngo embarrass them again.  Some do relatively annoying things like spraying him with silly string but then others throw liquid concrete at him.  The concrete turns to bricks as Andy walks away realizing it’s getting out of hand.  They follow him pelting him with concrete, rocks, and bricks.  They knock him down and continue attacking him. They steal his GoPro and all his camera equipment and destroy the evidence of their protest that Ngo was going to expose.  Unfortunately, nowadays everyone has a camera and someone caught the whole thing on their camera phone.  Antifa, which actually stands for anti-first amendment as they are definitely a fascistic organization, is emboldened by their masks so they don’t think the people with camera phones will do much damage.  Andy Ngo will be taken to the hospital with multiple facial bruises, lacerations and a brain bleed. 

                As word spreads of Ngo’s beating, Theo turns to his brother and sister-in-law and just smiles.  He says, “See, here’s the different between conservatives and liberals.  You have to make up conservatives attacking gay liberals; like Jussie Smullett in Chicago.  All conservatives need to do is walk outside with a Trump shirt and you never fail to prove us right.”

                Theo’s sister-in-law responds, “Well, like you said, you provoke us.”

                “By wearing a shirt?”

                “Yea, one you know we won’t like.”

                “You wear Che Guevara’s shirts, we don’t like that.  We don’t attack you.”

                “I’m not talking about shirts, this guy actively insults ANTIFA and then shows up to their protests, what do you expect to happen?”

                Same thing when mainstream media goes to a tea party protest.  Nobody gets raped, nobody gets hurt.  They don’t even make a mess, they clean up after themselves.  I mean, the place is cleaner than when they got there.  Liberals on the other hand cause billions of dollars in property damage and women get raped sometimes.”

                “You said yourself you’d take them out with a car if you saw them.”

                “I could still be all talk, you never know.  But if I did, not one conservative would defend me.  Bongino, Limbaugh, Tucker Carlson, Hannity, all would condemn me absolutely.”

                “Well, the media don’t praise this either”

                Theo turned on the TV as it was programmed to CNN.  They were reading tweets of people defending ANTIFA and blaming Ngo for inciting violence by his mere presence.  Some claim it was good for him.”

                Theo’s sister-in-law is undeterred and fires back, “Well, they’re right.  Look how much solidarity he’s getting.  There’s counter-protests sparking up.  He’s been validated so it’s good for his career.”

                “Yea, just like when black people were protesting against the Democrat south and Democratic Jim Crow laws.  Remember that iconic picture of the police dog attacking that black guy and the cops beating black people in the street?  I mean that was a catalyst to the Civil Rights movement so that Republicans could pass equality laws and desegregate schools and end segregation.  So, do you think it’s good that the cops sent the dogs on the black people and beat them with night sticks?”

                “Conservatives are the racists”

                “Wrong.  You are the party of Jim Crow, you are the party of segregation and in 1861, the year of the Civil War, no Republican owned a slave.  Every slave owner was a Democrat.”

                “You’re so brainwashed.”

                “Nope, I got facts and data, you got insults.  Bottom line is, Ted Wheeler should resign as mayor yesterday.  Any mayor that discourages policeman from doing their jobs is unfit for office.”

                “You don’t know the context”

                “There’s no context to attack someone with pepper spray, concrete, rocks and knives while they’re trying to retreat.  Even in war they let people retreat.  These are cowards.  They got a pack of people with weapons attacking a man with no weapons.  Wheeler should be ashamed of himself.”

                “I live here.  He’s a good mayor”

                In a surprise move, some commentators on CNN called for Wheeler to resign.  Theo’s brother says, “I mean he’s got a point.  If you tell cops not to do their job, then you’re not a very good mayor.”

                Theo snapped back, “Oh yea, now that you heard it on CNN you think it makes sense.”

                “Look, we all know you’re on the far-right so we need to take what you say with a grain of salt but when fair open minded unbiased people like CNN say it, then it makes sense.  That’s just how it is.”

                “You’re so open minded, you’re brain falls out.  If you were open minded, you would actually listen to what I say and not need someone to repeat it. The person is smart, the people are dumb.  Mark Twain said if you ever find yourself in agreement with the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect”

                “Trump won the presidency, so you’re in agreement with the majority”

                “First off, I said ‘pause and reflect’ not that you’re automatically wrong.  Secondly, Trump lost the popular vote so I’m not in agreement with the majority.”

                The remaining people in the house went speechless.  They changed the topic and talked about other things while Theo sent money to a gofundme page for Andy Ngo’s medical bills.  He had raised over $50,000 in 24 hours. 

                After a couple days, Theo took the short flight from Portland to Los Angeles and then connected to Seoul, South Korea.  As he meets up with other White house people, he sees the new press secretary Stephanie Graham in the demilitarized zone.  He walks up to her and sees that the North Korean security is stopping the press from getting through.  As Theo is a conservative, he follows rules so he stops wondering what the problem is since he believed the press was allowed through.  Stephanie, on the other hand, was not going to stand for that.  She walked up to the security guard and tried to squeeze past him but he leaned in to trap her between the wall and him.  Stephanie swung her hips and shoved the guy to the side using her pelvis.  With the guy off balanced, she signaled to her crew to follow and they did.  Theo felt so emasculated that a woman much smaller than him was the one that forced her way through.  Later it was explained that North Koreans aren’t used to dealing with the press since they’re a tyrannical regime so were unaccustomed to allowing press in.  Stephanie, in a moment that forced Theo to try very hard not to burst out laughing puts on an innocent, almost naïve voice, and says, “Oh yea, I understand there’s no hard feelings.”

                Theo mutters under his breath, “I think we found a good replacement for Sarah Sanders.”

                A team of people meet with the entourage and they declare, “Now, as we get closer to North Korea, there is a big concrete line that separates North Korea from South Korea.  You can’t miss it and nobody will believe it if you claim you did.  For those of you that can’t resist to say you’ve been to North Korea, there’s a blue building that has two doorways, one for South Korea, one for North Korea.  The North and South Koreans take turns using the buildings so when the North Koreans file out, you can go to the door but don’t open it.  When you get to the door, you’re technically in North Korea.  No American has stepped over that line, not even presidents, in almost a century. “

                Theo, feeling he needs some act of defiance after Stephanie shoved her way through, says, “What about Dennis Rodman?”

                “He was an invited guest and flew in.  He wasn’t in the DMZ (Demilitarized zone) so he didn’t step over that line either.”

                “Have you gotten this question before?  Because that was a quick response”

                “Nope, you’re just going to have to do better than that to get a comment by me.”

                Theo laughed and nodded as if to say ‘touche’ the guy briefing them smiles as well.  As they got to the line with President Trump, they watch as President Trump becomes the first sitting president in many decades to walk over the line.  He is immediately followed by his entourage.  There is no reaction by the North Koreans.  So much for the briefing”

                Theo is done in North Korea, and is flying back to D.C.  This time he’s reading the Washington Post.  He sees an article about Joseph Mifsud and chuckles.  He says to himself “They’re still holding on to their story that he’s a Russian asset”

                As he reads the story they are talking about the origins of Mifsud and that he gave information about Hillary.  Later in the article, it contradicts itself by saying that Mifsud was trying to forge ties with Russia and Russian universities.  At first Theo thinks this is about Mifsud’s work at Cambridge with Halper but then he sits back and realizes that the Post really hurt the collusion hoax.  If Mifsud was trying to forge ties with Russia, then that means he didn’t have ties with Russia.  This means that he’s not a Russian agent.  If he’s not a Russian agent then opening up an investigation because Papadopoulos was talking to him is completely illogical because he’s not even Russian.  How could Papadopoulos be colluding with the Russians for meeting with Mifsud when Mifsud isn’t even tied to Russia?  Later in the piece it goes back to saying that the intelligence community has amassed information over the years that he was a Russian agent.  Theo can’t believe how often they contradict themselves and that people still believe them when they do this.  He thinks about this and realizes that something is about to break.  This is damage control.  Maybe Durham or Bill Barr found something.  The guy sitting next to him on the plane opines, “You look very intrigued by something.  Do you mind sharing?”

                Theo explained to him his theory and gives background expecting this will shut up the man next to him since people hate people that publicly support the President.  His plan fails when the guy nods and his eyes dart upwards seemingly contemplating what Theo just said.  The man replies, “Well, the way I see it, there’s only two options.  Either Mifsud is all talk like Papadopoulos has said and his name dropping is all exaggerated.  That means your theory that he was an accessory to entrapment is sound.  But there’s another possibility.”

                Theo is shocked that this man understood so well. Theo doesn’t want to believe he explained it that well because he doesn’t speak very clearly and is humble so automatically assumes this guy had prior knowledge.  Theo takes the bait and responds, “Which is?”

                “Intelligence agents are so embarrassed at how messy and thoroughly caught they got that they just exposed a double agent.”

                It’s Theo’s turn to shoot his eyes up as he thinks about this.  “You’re saying that this forging ties was done at the behest of the western intelligence contacts that we know he has.”

                “Right, Russians recruited him and the western intelligence told him to act like he was listening and report back to them.”

                “And now that they’re getting caught, they are throwing him under the bus.”

                “Can you find any holes in that theory?”

                “Actually no, but I can add support to it.”

                The man smiled and gave exclaimed, “Let’s hear it.”

                “It’s pretty much exactly what they did to Carter Page.  They asked him to meet with Russians in Moscow as part of a sting operation.  Then when he joined the Trump team, they used that incident to get a FISA warrant on him so they could spy on the entire Trump team.”

                “That’s called a precedent.  If they did it before, there’s no reason to think Carter Page was the only one.”

                “You might be on to something.  There’s nothing I can say to refute you.  It’s just I’ve been on this whole entrapment theory for over two years now, it’s hard to just let it go.”

                “It could be both.”

                “It could be.  They knew he was a good sport and would help them out so had a new mission, to entrap Papadopoulos, but then burned him to save their own asses.”

                “There you go.”

                “Yea, it’s a sound theory.  Good job.”

                “Thanks, did you watch the Democratic debates?”

                “Oh god, it was embarrassing”

                “Yea, I agree.  I understand that other countries suck and people want to come here to be free but no border at all and giving them free healthcare seems a little extreme.”

                “The Democrats agree, that’s why they keep flip flopping.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Kamala Harris started the campaign saying she’d eliminate private health insurance.  Then a couple days later, she took it back.  Then at the debate, only she and Bernie Sanders raised their hands when asked who wants to abolish private health insurance.  The next day, she told MSNBC that she doesn’t want to abolish private health insurance.”

                “How did she explain it?”

                “That she misunderstood the question.  She thought they asked if she’d give up her personal health insurance for the government one.”

                “That’s horseshit.  Even when Obama was promoting ObamaCare he said that it’s not about him.  He has the best health insurance in the world; a doctor literally follows him 24 hours a day.  It’s about people who can’t afford it.”

                “Of course it’s bullshit. Everything the Democrats say is bullshit.”

                “But I mean an illegal can still go to the emergency room and get care.”

                “So your solution is to give them non-emergency care too?”

                “Well, to play Devil’s advocate, if they go to the doctor more, they’ll have to go to the emergency room less.”

                “There’s absolutely no evidence of that.  I was just in Portland.  My brother lives there.  In 2008, they did a study where people randomly got Medicare.  They followed them for two years and the people that had the government-run health care went to the emergency room more than they had before.  They also went to the doctor more.”

                “So both emergency and specialist care visits went up?”

                “Yup”

                “Yea, that would be an epic fail.  How come nobody brought this up?”

                “Because the mainstream media is a propaganda arm of the Democratic party.  They cover up any information that makes Democrats and liberals look bad.”

                The man laughed.  They talked about lighter topics and the plane landed.  Theo went home to his bed and collapsed getting some much needed sleep as the heavy itinerary took a lot out of him.  Hopefully there is a change in America and the Ngo beating will energize moderate Americans to come in defense of conservatives who are getting violently attacked just for having different opinions.  That’s not the prevalent thought that Theo has though.  He is really routing for Barr and Durham and hopes Democrats and collusion perpetrators are criminally prosecuted for their role in the entrapment, lying and illegal spying on Barak Obama’s political opponents.