Fanis the bodyguard episode 33 Barr's last stand

                Kera is in her flat in London where she lives with her cousin and bodyguard Fanis.  They were both born and raised in America but live in England now as it’s easier for Kera’s job as an international Chinese Art dealer.  Kera is watching Pete Williams on MSNBC interviewing Bill Barr about the recently released IG report.  Bill Barr responds that it’s clear that the Trump campaign was spied on.  Williams responds, “The FISA warrant on Carter Page was after he was no longer with the campaign”

                “Once you get a FISA warrant, it’s not all the e-mails from the date of the FISA and forward, you can go back and look at old e-mails.  You can even go years back so with the FISA they are able to see all the correspondence when he was on the Trump campaign.”

                Kera throws her arms up, “I don’t understand.  The Inspector General just said there was no spying and now Barr is still on it.”

                Fanis responds, “Did you read the report?”

                “It’s over 400 pages long”

                “Yes, but most of that is the horrendous malfeasance of by the FBI. You’re just grasping to the conclusions but based on everything revealed, I have no idea how he came to that conclusion.”

                “That’s because you see what you want to see.”

                “Barr and Durham don’t see it either”

                Well, that part confuses me.”

                “If he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, then the media would just let him humiliate himself.  Instead, you’re going to see some vicious attacks against him personally without any facts.”

                The next day, Fanis’ point was made when the Washington Post writes an article about how Barr’s sharpened attacks has caused turmoil in his own department.”

                Kera reads the article hoping to disprove the second part of his thesis that there would be no hard data.  The whole article is about rumors and unidentified sources.  There is nothing concrete and Kera sighs.   Fanis notices it and smiles, “Find anything?”

                “Shut up”

                “No, I’m interested”

                “It’s all high school bullshit.  ‘people are talking about you’” she conveyed in a mocking tone.

                “Like Barr said, it’s his job to make sure the justice department doesn’t abuse their power and that’s what he’s going to do.  The FBI flipped what they were supposed to do on their head for three years and now he’s got to make it right.  He even took a shot at the media for fanning the irresponsible appalling behavior.”

                “Barr s been everywhere!  He was talking to the Wall Street Journal talking about how devastating the iG report was and how appalled we should be.”

                “We should be.  He laid out all the horrible things they did in two minutes.”

                “They didn’t spy”

                Fanis took a mocking tone, “Right, they just took confidential human informants and put wires on them to talk to individual campaign members.  When all their recordings were exculpatory, they refused to tell the FISA court that, which is illegal.  They were turned down for the first FISA so then they took the Steele dossier that they knew was bullshit just so they could have a crime to present.  They then lie about verifying it and decide the sources were impeccable omitting all the derogatory information they have on Steele and his sources.”

                “Pack your things, we’re hitting the road.”

                “Where to?”

                “Costa Rica”

                “You know, we live in London to be able to travel to more places but we seem to always go back to right around the United States.”

                “You forget that I go back and forth to China to get artifacts and stuff and they come to me.”

                “I know”

                “Do you miss America?”

                “A little bit but now that the Democrats are trying to destroy it, maybe it’s better than we’re here.”

                “Nigel Farage and his pro-brexit party are just as bad as Trump.”

                “Just as good you mean.  England is definitely worse.  They voted for Brexit and they straight up ignored the vote.  The Democrats haven’t even tried that yet.”

                While on the plane, Kera asks, “What was wrong with Steele’s sources?”

                “He really only had one and when the FBI talked to him, he told them he has no idea why Steele presented his information as facts.  He called it hearsay and rumors.  The most damning finding about the golden showers in Russia, the source said it was based on jokes told over beers.  How the FBI went from that conversation to renewing the FISA and telling the court that the source was legitimate and verified is beyond me.”

                “What else are they supposed to do?”

                “Not lie to a court for one.  Every other time they have fears of foreign interference, they write a defense briefing to the candidate.  Instead, they wired people to talk to them to try to get more dirt and used it as an excuse to get a FISA, the most invasive surveillance legally allowed in the United States.”

                “The FBI doesn’t have plausible deniability anymore. “

                “That’s why Horowitz only said it was started properly.  They found out it was bullshit quickly but renewed the FISA’s anyway.  That’s when they became culpable.”

                They land in Costa Rica and get in a cab and head to the Manuel San Antonio section, which is the in the middle of the jungle on the Pacific Ocean side.  Fanis likes it here as you get the best of both worlds.  You can go into the jungle and see the canopy and find the wide variety of animals.  The Jungle, however, turns into the ocean seamlessly so you can get your beach time as well.  They hang out in the hotel room as there’s not much of a night life in this area of Costa Rica.  They go to sleep early and prepare for the next day.

                The next day, Kera heads to her rendezvous point for the deal she’s working on.  Fanis engages with the security for the person Kera is meeting with.  Fanis is fluent in Spanish so relishes this opportunity to speak with natives.  Despite the fluency in Spanish, the guard isn’t fooled and inquires, “What’s going on with your FBI?”

                “Yea, I got nothing to defend them.  That IG report was pretty bad for them.”

                “Wasn’t the lead investigator in the case fucking a lawyer he worked with?”

                “Yea, Peter Stzok and Lisa Page.  They pretty much laid out everything they were doing to undermine President Trump and tried to stop him from being president.”

                “They said that?”

                “Oh yea, Page was telling him that they had to stop him.  Strzok then told her they would stop him but they would need an insurance policy.  The exact text was,” as Theo switches to English to quote it, “I want to believe the path you threw out for consideration n Andy’s office.  That there’s no way he gets elected – but I’m afraid we can’t take that risk.  It’s like an insurance policy in the unlikely event you die before you’re 40.’”

                “Do we know what the insurance policy was?”

                “Yes, the FISA on Carter Page.”

                “Is there any evidence?”

                “Well, that text was sent on August 15, 2016.  According to the IG report, on the same day, The Crossfire Hurricane team requested assistance from the FBI office of General Counsel to prepare a FISA application for the court.  They then say that the FISA’s they want on George Papadopoulos and Carter Page aren’t going to work.”

                “They got a FISA on George Papadopoulos too?”

                “No, that was rejected for insufficient evidence.”

                “I’m confused, if the FISAs got turned down on that day, how was that an insurance policy?”

                “On the same day, Comey receives his first briefing about Downer and Papadopoulos meeting.  Strzok and Page, as the text suggested, are in their boss Andy McCabe’s office.  Based on what they told Comey, they decide that it helps them that Papadopoulos told Downer that the Russians have dirt on Hillary.  They decide that since Carter Page has met with Russians and had recently gone there, it would be easier for Page to be receptive to the Russian information.”

                “How do you know about this meeting?”

                “It was in the IG report.”

                “They didn’t even have evidence.  They just hear that Russians have information on Hillary and decide which person on the Trump campaign they can most easily frame.’

                “Exactly, so then this FBI agent, still on August 15, writes an e-mail to the Unit Chief stating that he thought the information was a solid basis to spy on Page with the FISA.  They accuse him of a crime with his dealings with Russia that they got from the Steele dossier, which everyone knows are lies by now.”

                “Wow, they just made it up.”

                “Oh no, it gets worse.  The CIA tells the FBI to stay away from this line because Carter Page was acting on their their behalf when he spoke to those Russians.”

                “Wait, so Carter Page was a CIA spy used against the Russians and that’s why Carter Page went to Russia and was talking with them?  He was working for the CIA?”

                “Yes, and that response came two days later.  Rather than the FBI doing the right thing and being relieved they dodged a bullet by taking that to a court, an agent named Kevin Clinesman alters the e-mail to say that he wasn’t with them.”

                “And Horowitz still said that they weren’t biased against Trump?”

                “Yea, I know he should read his own report.”

                “The meeting ends and Fanis says good bye to the security.  Kera and Fanis head back to the hotel and change into bathing suits and go across the street to the beach to enjoy the rest of their day until the sun sets.  Night comes quickly and the mosquitoes come out, which scare away Kera but Fanis puts some bug spray on and sits outside listening to the howler monkeys and other sounds of the jungle.  In a strange way, he finds it peaceful.  While sitting there, a small motor boat comes on to shore and Fanis thinks nothing of it.  Suddenly flash lights turn on as two men start loading bags from the boat on to an ATV.  Fanis gets up and realizes that he is witnessing drug smuggling.  He remains still hoping that they don’t realize he’s there.  He is no longer in his bathing suit and has various knives and guns on him that he had in a back pack that he brought to the beach.  Suddenly, a flash light is shined in his face and his eyes squint adjusting to the sudden introduction of light.  He stands up with his hands out and calmly declares in Spanish, “Calm down, I’m not the police nor did I call them.  I’m just hanging out on the beach, do what you got to do and forget I’m here.”

                There are three people on the beach and one pulls a gun on Fanis, who instinctively snaps his hand to his holster and draws the gun firing as a way to buy time so he can get the gun up so he can use the sites and shoots the man with the gun in the shoulder.  He states more forcefully, “That was a warning.  I can defend myself if I need to but I don’t want any trouble and I’m not a threat to you.  I could have killed you but I didn’t”

                The man who came in the boat hops back in his boat and speeds off.  The other one, unfortunately, engages Fanis and charges him tackling him to the ground.  Fanis drops his gun and rolls to his feet to face the guy he can hardly see with the darkness.  The man Fanis shot grabs the flash light and a beam of light hits Fanis in the eye disorienting him just long enough for the healthy one to punch him in the face.  Fanis dropped to one knee and was struck again collapsing him on all fours.  The drug smuggler took two quick steps forward and kicked Fanis in the midsection flipping him onto his back.  “You should have left when you had the chance.”

                Fanis anticipated what would happen next.  The man lifted his right foot to stomp on Fanis so Fanis reached out with his right arm and yanked at the man’s left Achilles Heel.  He dropped his right leg to catch himself and stumbled a little bit.  In one motion, Fanis got his legs under him and rose up putting his entire bodyweight behind an uppercut that sent the man three steps backward before he collapsed onto his back.  He heard an engine revving and turned to see headlines coming his way.  Instinctively he jumped to the side rolling as the shot man was on the ATV trying to run him over.  Fanis took out a three inch pocket knife and threw it at the ATM wheels puncturing a hole in it.  It also sent the shot man over the handlebars as the ATV stopped suddenly.  The healthy one poses, “Your accent is American”

                “That’s because I’m an American”

                “That e-mail from the CIA was highly relevant to tell the FISA court.  Even the IG report said so.  Your FBI and CIA can’t even talk to each other.”

                “No, the CIA was very clear that Carter Page was working for them when he talked to Russians.  So clear, the FBi decided they had to change the e-mail to say something else.”

                The men approached both a little dazed from either being punched or shot.  Fanis decided he wasn’t going to wait.  He ran forward and jumped on the ATV using it as a spring board to fly into both  men with his arms out knocking them to the ground.  He stomped on the head of the healthy one knocking him unconscious and then stood on the gunshot wound of the other.  Fanis took out a machete and slapped it against the man’s throat. Fanis put the machete back in its holster and took out a flashlight and searched for his gun.  It didn’t take long to find and he walked off the beach and across the street to his hotel. 

                Kera saw the marks on his face and articulated “How do you always get into fights when we travel?”

                “Trouble finds me”

                “Yea, I bet.  At least it wasn’t my fault this time.  Hold on, let me get the first aid kid”

                Kera carried a first aid kit when they travelled because she didn’t trust any hospital except in the United States.  She took out a disinfectant wipe and rubbed it against Fanis’ face.  She uttered, “Since a lot of the conclusions made by Horowitz are refuted in the actual body and I’m not a dork like you so I’m not going to read 400 pages of this shit, what about his conclusion that they didn’t spy on Trump’s campaign before July 31, 2016 when Crossfire Hurricane was open?”

                “The report confirms that the Crossfire Hurricane team had multiple interaction from confidential human source, who I call spies but they won’t because they have to keep the media narrative straight, with Carter Page and George Papadopoulos even before they were on the Trump campaign.”

                “Wait, why would they be looking at them if they weren’t working for Trump?”

                “Before they worked for Trump, they worked for Ben Carson.”

                “The black brain surgeon that was in the primaries?”

                “Same one.”

                “So, that means….”

                “Obama had the intelligence community spy on all the Republican nominees.  They wanted to be prepared so that whoever was the nominee, they had dirt on then brought upon by spies.”

                “Just how many candidates were Obama’s FBI and CIA spying on?”

                “My guess is all of them.  Or at least the ones that had double digit percentages at any point during the primary.”

                “When did Page and Papadopoulos switch from Carson to Trump?”

                “March 2016 is when Trump officially announced it when they were talking about how no foreign policy experts wanted to join his team.  They were all going to other candidates, so Trump told them the names of his thinking there was nothing wrong with that.  Then the activity around them spiked considerably.”

                “Well, they could have spiked because the leading candidate just named them by.  It may not be because they were spying.”

                “Based on everything that we know happened, you really believe that?”

                “No, but I’m just saying it’s a possibility.”

                The next day, Fanis and Kera go on a jungle tour and Fanis appreciates that they bring a telescope to zoom in on all the animals that are very well camouflaged so it’s hard for the untrained eye to see.  They, however, are no match for the tour guides.  Squirrel monkeys are not shy as they run from tree branch to tree branch jumping and swinging.  They see various poisonous insects, lizards, sloths and a deer even joined their group.  After the tour, they take the two hour cab ride back to the airport to fly back to London.  On the plane, Kera is watching Rachel Maddow and she looks confused.  Fanis inquires, “Why do you have that look on your face?”

                “Maddow just said that the IG report said that the Steele dossier had nothing to do with the FISA and the Trump campaign wasn’t spied on.”

                “The first one is a blatant lie.  In fact, Horowitz specifically says that the Steele Dossier was central and essential to the FISA.  Someone said that he never said it was ‘critical’ but I’ll take ‘central’ and ‘essential.’”

                “When Barr told the Senate Judiciary Committee that he still thinks they spied, Maddow called for his resignation.”

                “What else is new?  That’s all the media does is call for Republicans and people they don’t like to resign for committing the sin of disagreeing with them and their narrative.”

                “Well, you can’t blame her for just going with the bottom line conclusions.”

                “Yes, I can.  First off, the dossier had nothing to do with the FISA is not a conclusion that the IG made so she completely made that one up.  Secondly, she’s a journalist, it’s her job to read the IG report.”
                “Well she’s entitled to her opinion.”

                “And so am I.  It is my opinion that they should practice what they preach.  All the people that said the Nunes memo was a sham and ridiculous needs to apologize and resign since the IG report found the exact same thing Nunes did across the board.  Hell, anyone that reported on Spygate or any mention of dossier information.  The NY Times talked about the sexual deviancy in Russia and referenced the Golden Shower tape that the IG report indicated the source of that said it was made in jest over drinks.  The writer of that article should resign.  If you hold them to the same rules they preach, there would be no mainstream media left.  Then, people can replace them and maybe we can actually get real journalism.”

                “I will admit that the Democrats keep changing their story.  I mean the impeachment is about abuse of power and obstruction of congress.  They’ve been talking about Ukraine for like a month now.  Their story just keeps changing.”

                “Because they keep getting disproven so they move to a different talking point and when everyone forgets how they lied before, they tell the same lie.”

                “Alright, whatever.”

                They land in London and head back to their flat.  As they unpack their bags, they each grab a beer and vegetate on the couch.  They are happy to be back but know that the next trip is imminent as everyone wants to get things before the Christmas holiday three weeks away.