Theo the Trump Employee Episode 39 First Attempt at Retaliation

                Theo is on the train heading from Rockville, Maryland to the White House for work.  Today is a big day as Inspector General Michael Horowitz is set to release his report about if the FBI properly predicated the investigation of Donald Trump.  Although Theo has already gotten indication that it won’t be damning and will disappoint those who support his boss, he is a little dejected.  He already knows the Republican response, ‘Well, just wait for the Durham criminal investigation.’ Theo, however, has lost all hope.  The DOJ is a mob for Hillary Clinton and it was hard enough to prosecute the mob when they didn’t control the government.  Now that they do, it seems pretty much impossible.  The one caveat is that everyone said that it was impossible for Donald Trump to beat Hillary Clinton but that happened.  Maybe President Trump can pull off the impossible again; though Theo doubted it.

                Early in the afternoon, the IG report does come out and the mood in the White House is sour as all their fears were realized.  The IG report even denies that the FBI was investigating before opening the case on July 30, 2016.  This is categorically false since FBI agents were travelling to London to meet with Christopher Steele as early as March 2016.  Although Theo wishes that who appointed you is irrelevant, Horowitz was appointed by Barack Obama and sadly, with the polarization of the parties now, this is actually significant and leads an air of skepticism to his report. 

                After work, Theo heads to a bar near George Mason University.  Although it would have been better if he read the report, he really had no time.  Maybe next week when he’s had a chance to read it, he’ll be better equipped for these debates but then again, debating brainwashed impressionable college students doesn’t take much preparation.  When Theo enters the bar, he orders a drink and sits down.  As he does, a group of students are talking about Nadler’s impeachment hearings.  Theo, already in a bad mood, turns to them and asks, “Are you serious?  You care more about another fake impeachment hearing than the IG report?”

                “Only two presidents have ever been impeached! This is history” decried one male

                “What was Clinton impeached for?”

                “Lying under oath about having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky”

                “That happened before you were even born and you know about it.  Now, what do they want to impeach Trump for?”

                “Colluding with Ukraine.”

                “Specifically.”

                “A quid pro quo, well no because he didn’t really say that.  It was implied.”

                A girl in the group interrupted, “No, it was about Russia collusion”

                “No, that was Mueller.  That’s over now.”

                Theo declared, “See, they change their story so many times, it’s hard to keep track.”

                “No, they’re on Ukraine now.”

                “Really? Because here’s Nadler on Chuck Todd’s show yesterday” Theo fires back and hands them his phone.  They plug in headphones and listen to Nadler talking about how if Trump isn’t impeached, he’s going to tamper with the 2020 election.”

                The students look confused, “Wait, it’s about election tampering? I thought it was about asking Ukraine to investigate Biden.”

                “See, they can’t keep their story straight.”

                “Maybe, it’s that there’s so many scandals that there’s got to be something to it.”

                “Every single one has had no evidence.  That logic is faulty but that’s what they are doing.  First it was the Russians, then it was the Ukrainians, they are planting a seed in your head to ask, ‘Who else did he ask for help?”

                “I’d say it’s working.”

                “Just so you can impress your friends, Turkey is next.”

                “Why Turkey?”

                “Because our withdrawing from Syria helps Turkey since they’re the most powerful country in that region.”

                “Yea, but we don’t really like wars in the Middle East.”

                “That was the narrative when Bush was president.  You’re behind.”

                “I don’t know; that seems weird.  I haven’t heard any hint of that.”

                “Just wait, in a couple months, you’re going to be fully on board just like you are with Ukraine and just like she is with Russia.”

                “Well, our elections need to be protected.  We can’t have foreigners meddling in our elections.”

                “They always try and the Democrats want you not to have to give an ID to vote.  You don’t think that makes it easier for foreigners to vote?”

                “Well, it discriminates against minorities”

                “Why?  Because minorities don’t know how to go to the DMV?  They don’t know how to get an ID?”

                “There’s a language barrier.”

                “And there isn’t one for European immigrants?  Sounds like you just want illegal immigrants to vote.”

                “Undocumented”

                “No, they’re in the country illegally, they’re illegal immigrants.”

                “You ‘re just blinded by white privilege”

                Theo couldn’t help but notice that the people he was speaking to were white.  He smiled and called out to a black person, “Hey buddy, I got a question for you”

                The student gave a shocked expression.  The black guy came over and Theo asked, “Do you know how to get an ID?”

                The guy looked at him like he was crazy, “Umm, yea, I even have one.  That’s why I’m in a bar right now.”

                “I was just having a discussion with my friends over here” pointing to the two students who looked horrified, “they suggested that requiring ID’s is racist because minorities don’t know how to get one.  Would you agree with that?”

                “That sounds pretty fucking retarded actually” He replied staring at the students.

                The student put out his hands, “Wait, I don’t mean any disrespect.  I mean, we’re in a bar so it’s a little skewed.  We’re somewhere that needs an ID so obviously everyone, regardless of race, knows how to get one in here.”

                Theo responded, “Do you think the bar is racist because they require you to show ID to enter?”

                “Well, no, because you have to prove your 21”

                “Proving your age is okay but not that you’re legally able to get an ID in this country to vote?”

                The black guy smiled and patted the student on the shoulder, “I would suggest you not walk outside and start telling minorities they’re too dumb to know how to get an ID.  You may not like their response.”

                The black guy walked away and Theo gave the students a condescending smile.  “All, I’m saying is that we need to make sure our elections are fair.”

                “They are.  Barack Obama even said that Democracy depends on it, which is why it’s almost impossible to rig because they’re run by state and local officials.  Since there are 50 of them, some are run by Republicans others by Democrats so getting to all of them is difficult.  Obama even said that it’s unprecedented to question the results of an election before a vote has been cast.  Democracy is dependents on the loser congratulating the winner and moving on.”

                “When did he say that?”

                Theo shows them a speech Obama gave  in the Rose Garden saying all those things and then ending with if you’re going to whine and complain when things don’t go your way and blame someone else, then you don’t have what it takes to do this job.”

                Even though Theo couldn’t hear, he knew what was said so when the video ended, he looked up, “If you whine and complain and blame someone else.  Kind of like what Hillary Clinton, Nadler and Schiff are doing by blaming the election results on Russians and Ukrainians and, coming soon, Turkey.”

                After an awkward silence, the guy states, “Look it was nice talking to you, have a good night man.”

                Theo chuckled.  The girl stomps over, “Why don’t you go on RT”

                “Like Adam Schiff?”

                “What are you talking about?  RT is a Russian Propaganda TV channel”

                “Research Adam Schiff in 2013 on RT, it’s fascinating what he says.”

                The girl takes her phone out and furiously types on it.  Theo was a little impressed how quickly her fingers worked and wished he could use his phone that quickly but that’s why he suggests others to research it because they can do it quicker.  Theo doesn’t really think that she’ll be able to find it but sure enough she does.  She listens to Schiff talk about how the FISA court needs to be more transparent and her jaw drops.  She starts stuttering and then puts her head down.  She turns to her friend and looks back at Theo.  Her mind has mixed emotions because on one hand, she’s offended that she’s talking to a Trump supporter but on the other, women, more so than men, enjoy talking to a smarter person than themselves.  “Do you think that mainstream media is fake news?”

                “Yes”

                “But, like, maybe some, but like Chuck Todd is okay.”

                “He’s like the worst example of it.  Maybe Brian Stelter will give him a run for his money but I think Chuck Todd get owned more.”

                “But, he has conservatives on.”

                “CNN, NBC, CBS and all the other fake news outlets don’t hire conservatives.  They hire fake ones and since most people don’t know what a conservative is, they’re easily fooled.”

                “What’s a conservative?” She poses combatively not expecting an answer

                “Four tenants; traditional values, low taxes, limited government, and strong national defense”

                “What about Ted Cruz?” She asks shyly as she was reeling by such a coherent response.

                “He’s a conservative”

                This emboldened her and her voice was sterner “Chuck Todd had Ted Cruz on.”

                “And Cruz smoked him.  Todd thought that Ukraine’s only interference was an op-ed in the hill”

                “Which he called like pick pocketing vs. Madoff with Trump.”

                “He also got tongue tied and Politico published a piece about how the Ukrainians tried to sabotage Trump.”

                “By the op-ed piece?”

                “No, by DNC member Alexandra Chalupa going to the Ukrainian embassy to arrange a meeting with, then, Ukrainian president Porochenko and Lutsenko, who Biden replaced the inspector general he got fired with.  The Ukrainians gave her a black ledger highlighting Manafort’s malfeasance in Ukraine, which they knew about because Hillary and Soros were heavily involved in Ukraine supporting the opposing candidate that Manafort supported.  Their Ukraine rivalry made its way across the pond to our election. “

                The girl frowns, “Sounds a little more involved than a simple op-ed piece.”

                “I’d agree”

                “Cruz brought up the op-ed piece.”

                “Yea, and he used the platform more to attack the media for trying to cover it up but never really got into what ‘it’ is.  He did reference article after article about Ukrainian interference, which is true.  The Politico piece I mentioned was just one of them.  He could have listed them or said something specific like I just did but I still think Cruz owned Todd on his own show.”

                “I think I saw a different interview.  You must admit you’re a little biased since you’re a conservative.”

                “Just like you’re biased because you’re a liberal”

                “I’d agree.”

                The girl takes the small victory as her cue to leave.  The black guy walks back and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Tyheem.”

                “Theo”

                “We’re both T’s”

                Theo laughed, “Yes, I guess we are.”

                “You into politics?”

                “Yes”

                “I know it just came out, but what do you think of the IG report.”

                “I think that it only tells part of the story.”

                “Yea, Carter Page said the same thing.”

                “Well, he really wants the FBI to go down for what they did.  He was the target of their FISA warrant.  I do think it interesting that he was never charged unlike the other people they targeted.”

                “Yea, I wish he elaborated a little bit.”

                “I can for him if you want”

                “Oh yea” Tyheem said skeptically

                “Michael Horowitz is not the inspector general for the intelligence community.  That means he’s not really looking into if the FBI was misled by other intelligence organization; specifically the CIA.  Sure, they had information to open the investigation but was the information a hoax and a trick by the CIA?”

                “That is how conspiracies are founded.  You question everything.  It’s like a little kid constantly asking ‘why?’  eventually you get stuck.”

                “I’ll give you that but I do have a specific question for Horowitz”

                “What would that be?”

                “Does he have the EC?”

                “I’m not familiar with the EC”

                “It’s an Electronic Communications that FBI uses to open an investigation.  Thus far, it’s been classified.”

                “We don’t know if he did?”

                “Nope and if you don’t have that then how can you determine if it was opened properly?”

                “Well, we know that it was opened when Papadopoulos got drunk and talked to Downer (Australian Diplomat).”

                “That’s not what the FISA says”

                “Well, the FISA was based on the Steele dossier.”

                “Why would one be based on the dossier and the other be on a conversation with Papadopoulos and Downer?  Both deny they were drunk by the way.”

                “I’m just going by what they said.”

                “I understand but let’s go to the FISA.”

                “Alright”

                “Is there a paper trail of them verifying or failing to verify Steele’s information or the dossier?”

                “I would think so.”          

                “There’s a very specific procedure they need to go through to verify.  It’s called the ‘Woods procedure.’ They need to send it to the intelligence agencies of Britain, Australia, Canada and New Zealand or the five eyes.”

                “Okay”

                “There are rumors out there that they didn’t do that.”

                “Well, the dossier wasn’t the only thing they used to get the FISA”

                “That’s not what the Deputy Director of the FBI, Andy McCabe said.  He said that without the Steele dossier, there would be no FISA.”

                “Well, I guess we’ll see.  It seems like every time an investigation is over, it never goes the way the people who support the investigators wanted to so they just want a do over.”

                “This is the first one for us! All the other ones were Democrats”

                “Yea, but making the same mistake they do is still a mistake.”

                “Well, I hope we don’t give up because you know the Democrats won’t”

                “It’s really bad for our country.”

                “So are liberals”

                “You’re drink is getting a little light”

                “What are you drinking?  You were actually able to have a civilized discussion.  Let me buy you a drink.”

                “Alright.”

                Tyheem takes his drink and walks away.  An Asian man comes over, “I was eavesdropping on your conversation.”

                “Seems like a lot of people have been tonight.”

                The Asian man smiled, “I’m Su Kwon”

                “I’m Theo, nice to meet you.”

                They shake hands.  “I want to thank you for explaining why Barr attached a letter to the IG report saying he disagreed with his key findings.”

                “I hope he’s ready for what’s to come.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “With that act, the liberal mob is going to attack him with everything they got.  It’s going to get personal.  There is nothing too low or too depraved because, as they say, there’s no tolerance for the intolerant’ and they look at anyone who disagrees with them as intolerant.”

                “Not thinking someone had enough information to conclude the information to open the investigation was accurate because he didn’t know what it was doesn’t seem too controversial or intolerant a point.”

                “You watch.  That won’t stop them.”

                “I guess we’ll wait and see.”

                “Hell, even the Pravda-like Washington Post admits Barr has more information than Horowitz.”

                “Maybe they’re not as fake news as you think.”

                Theo bursts out laughing, “Are you kidding?  Just look at their headlines.  Cruz is Putin’s stooge, McConnell is a Russian asset, 18 reasons why Trump is a Russian asset, and then just because it takes too long to do it individually, the Republican Party is a Russian asset.  All of these are real Washington Post headlines.”

                “That doesn’t make sense.  The Republicans have always been the party that fought communism and attacked Russia.  They engaged us in so many unnecessary wars to stop the spread of communism.”

“All true but now that we disagree with the Democrat’s hoax, we’re Russian stooges all of a sudden. T his is what Democrats do, they project their sins on us because historically, we’re always on the right side.”

“Yea, Democrats always ran interference for the communists and Russia.  They even talked about how they had been to Russia and it’s the future.  Even now, Democrats want socialism.  That just seems absurd.”

“Yet, I bet a majority of people in this bar believe it.”

“You don’t have much confidence in college student’s intelligence I see.”

“Not at all.  You got your first sense of freedom, which makes you impressionable.  Professors, who are almost all liberal, exploit that to indoctrinate you.  You don’t bother to think for yourselves because you’re constantly told, ‘who are you to say that.’ And it beats you into ideological submission.”

“Well, we’re also poor and Democrats are about helping the poor.”

“No, they’re not.  They want to keep the poor poor. That’s not helping them, that’s stepping on their heads.  Republicans give much more to charity than Democrats despite the richest people being Democrats.”

“Trump is the one that changed food stamp qualifications.  Adam Schiff and AOC had a field day about how they’re kicking children and families off food stamps in the millions.”

“Like I said, you college kids don’t bother to look at the bill yourself.”

“If I did, what would I find?”

“it’s only able bodied people that are not allowed to apply anymore.  The bill is very specific that it doesn’t include families so the parents and children argument is destroyed already. It doesn’t even count people who are looking for work.”

“Disability?”

“The disabled are also exempt from the new bill.  Hell, it even considers being older than 50 a disability”

“Then what the fuck?  If you are physically able to work and you’re under 50 and have no kids then what the fuck are you bitching about?”

“That would be President Trump’s point.”

Su Kwon smiled and nodded his head, “Guess that’s what you mean by ‘fake news’”

“After all the retarded things Adam Schiff and AOC have said and done, how can you possibly think they’re credible anymore?”

“That’s a good point.”

Theo finishes his drink and closes his tab, “I’m going to get going but it was nice talking to you.  I told the bar tender to put your next drink on my tab.”

                “Thanks man” Su Kwon says as he shakes his hand. 

                “No problem”

                Theo leaves the bar and gets on the train to head back home.  Theo takes out his phone and doesn’t realize that his white house credential also comes out of his pocket and is now hanging at his side.  Theo keeps it clipped but stuffs it in his pocket at bars.  Someone on the train notices and inquires, “Do you think your boss will win in 2020?”

                Theo looks down and sees the pass and smirks, “Who knows?  A lot can happen by the election but if things continue the way they are now, then yes.”

                “How do you mean?  He’s been attacked incessantly by these ridiculous hearings.”

                “You said it yourself; they’re ridiculous.  You’re not in the minority either as polls in the main swing states, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Michigan, have all swung in Trumps direction because they are frustrated with these hearings being all about nothing.”

                “Florida and Ohio are always the two big ones.”

                “His lead is pretty significant in those states.  It’s even big in Iowa, which is traditionally Democrat”

                “Well, nobody is going to remember these hearings in a year”

                “Yea, but we just added 266,000 jobs in November.  They were estimating like 175,000 so we destroyed expectations.  Obviously there are a lot of nuances in elections but taken at 30,000 feet, there’s really two.  Either you run on that things are great and you are responsible so let’s keep it going or you say things suck and it’s time for a change.”

                “Yea, the stock market has skyrocketed the last three years and keeps hitting new highs.”

                “And people’s 401ks have gone up as a result, they are making more money, lower income people have had six percent growth, which is twice as high as the richest. Everyone had more money and despite not having to pay more in taxes, people got higher tax returns.”

                “How is that even possible?”

                “When you make more money, you move into a higher tax bracket.  When you move into a higher income bracket, the lower percentage has a total amount higher than the higher percentage at the lower income.”

                “Oh, yea, that makes sense.  Wow, wages were that much higher that the numbers show that?”

                “Yes”

                “One more year to stave off the recession.  Good luck”

                “Thanks”

                Theo takes the train back to his house and goes to sleep.  The next few days and weeks will see a desperate attack on Barr and panic by the Democrats and liberals.