Nouno the Vigilante Episode 35 Fake Tough Guys

                At a Naval Air Station Base in Pensacola, Florida, there is a sign that seems odd in a military base.  It’s a picture of a gun and a circle with a line through it indicating that it is a gun-free zone.  If there is any place where weapons should be allowed, it’s on a military base.  Mohammed Saeed Alshamrani is a Saudi national who is now in Pensacola.  Like many Saudis, he is upset with America’s involvement and presence in the Middle East.  Despite President Trump being less open to military activity abroad than past Republicans, it is negated by another policy he has.  President Trump cut massive regulations to allow America to utilize their own resources to produce energy. Due to these freedoms, America has become a net energy exporter for the first time in their history.  What it also means, however, is Saudi Arabia loses one of its largest customers.  Alshamrani is going to strike back but rather than engage the military in places they’re allowed to have weapons, he’s going to go where he has the advantage and they’re unarmed. 

                It is a quiet day on the naval base when the 21-year-old Mohammed drives up to the checkpoint.  The Military Police (MP) guarding the tower goes to the window.  Mohammed quickly reveals that he has guns and opens fire on the unsuspecting unarmed naval officers.  By the time he is finished, he has killed three of them and wounded seven other officers.  To further his cowardice, he flees the scene and goes into hiding.  He is not caught.

 

                On the other side of the country in Arizona, Nouno and his wife Abby are hanging out in their home.  Abby and Nouno discuss politics often and Abby opines, “I was reading through the Page texts with Strzok and McCabe.”

                “Fucking retards really thought that their code would make it indiscernible to lay people.”

                “Hey, nobody has been indicted”

                “They’ve been fired and humiliated.”

                “Right, but if it clearly revealed everything like you claimed, then there never would have been a Mueller report or the last three years of the collusion hoax.”

                “Well, the deep state is real and the media provides cover and gas lights the Democrat talking point and cover up.”

                “That’s a little macro for what I’m talking about.”

                “Alright, so what are you talking about?”

                “Well, look at this text from Lisa Page to McCabe on November 18, 2016.”

                The text reads, “I tried sending an e-mail to (redacted) are you still getting the (redacted) e-mails.  DAG (Rosenstein) inquired about our plan that FISA target if he mobilizes given the physical access he has.  Let me know if you got the e-mail I forwarded to Tash”

                “Okay, so before this they were talking about Mike Flynn.  That’s probably who the FISA target is.  I believe there was a FISA on Mike Flynn too.”

                “The IG report said that there wasn’t any other FISA’s”

                “No, he said there weren’t other FISA’s as related to Crossfire Hurricane.  They may have just put it under a different investigation.”

                “That actually helps my point.”

                “I don’t really know what your point is yet.”

                “Look further down when Page texts Strzok”

 The text reads “BTW Clapper told Pete that Clapper was meeting with Brennan and Cohen for dinner tonight.  Just FYSA (For Your Situational Awareness).

                “So the Director of National Intelligence is meeting with the CIA Director and Trump’s lawyer.  This isn’t too damning.”

                “Look at the day before with Page texting Strzok”

                The text reads,  “And the reason he wanted clearances for the kids is so Jared Kushner could receive the PDB (President’s Daily Briefing) with him.  Legally, I think he can pretty much designate whoever he wants to receive it without a clearance.  Article today is saying none of that is going to happen.  I know he backed off of clearances, but there is another legal piece looking at his authority to just grant access, and it’s pretty broad.” 

“Yea, so these retards question the president on who he decides can have security clearance.  I’m not saying Jared deserves it but it is the President’s decision.  I think Page is realizing that although they don’t like it, there’s not much they can do about it.”

“Remember the first texts I showed you talked about the FISA target having access”

“Yea, Mike Flynn was going to be the National Security Advisor so he would have top security clearance.”

                “The President’s Daily Briefing (PDB) is as classified as it gets and Trump wanted to give his son in law Kushner access.”

                “Yea”

                “The dossier information was in the PDB”

                “I know, but that was when Obama was President so it was before.”

                “What if both texts are about Jared?  What if there was a FISA on Jared?”

                “They got a FISA on the President’s Son in Law?”

                “Yea, wouldn’t that be crazy?”

                “It would be but look at the texts before on the 18^th.  They mention Flynn by name so they were talking to Flynn and then they said the text you mentioned.  In context, it’s Flynn”

                “But the day before, they were talking about Kushner.”

                “Who picks up a conversation a day later?  It makes more sense that they would be referring the person they were just talking about.  You think they all of a sudden changed topics?”

                “You said it yourself.  The previous texts mention Flynn by name; there’s no code word.  Why would you not use a code and then switch to a code?”

                Nouno contemplates this and responds, “I don’t know but there’s still no segue.  If they were changing topics, there would be some segue between the two.  I still think it’s Flynn.  Everything fits in that he’s mobile because he travelled a lot and he has ultimate security access so it may make it difficult.  I really think there was a FISA on Mike Flynn.”

                “I think it’s a significant question on who the FISA target is that had access and deputy attorney general Rosenstein is calling the FBI about.”

                “It is a good question, I just think it’s Flynn”

                “A year to the day of these texts, Bertrand wrote an article called “Kushner received e-mails from Sergei Millian – alleged dossier source who was in touch with George Papadopoulos” how did they get that e-mail?

                “It’s the government.  They have access to everything.  Especially since Millian was the source D and E for the dossier.  He was Steele’s source so Millian probably told them who he e-mailed since he was involved in the hoax.”

                “Or, they had a FISA on Kushner and read it themselves.”

                “Still think mine’s more logical”

                “You would”

                “Alright”

                “You don’t think it’s a coincidence that exactly a year after the texts, a media outlet, which you call fake news and propaganda arm for the Democrat party, has an article about Jared?”

                “You think they had an anniversary press release of text messages?”

                “Why else would they write the article?”

                “To link Papadopoulos with Kushner and Millian so they could extend the investigation, which they pretend was opened because of Papadopoulos, to Trump’s family and the dossier through Millian.”

                “Or, they tried to get a FISA on a Trump family member and failed so needed to cover their ass.”

                “I agree there were more FISA’s but I don’t think that text had to do with Kushner.  I may be wrong.  Even if that text is about Flynn, that doesn’t mean they didn’t try a FISA on Jared anyway.  They probably tried on Ivanka and Trump Jr. too.  These people are sick.  They go after everyone that supports President Trump.”

                “Fine, agree to disagree.  I got a case.”

                “Where to?”

                “Don’t get mad.”

                “Why would I be mad?” Nouno’s tone got suspicious.

                “Well, we’re going to Pensacola.”

                “Alright, I like Florida.  Not sure why that would upset me.”

                “I want to go after the Naval Base shooter.”

                “Umm, I’m not saying I disagree, I just think it’s going to be hard to find him.  Law enforcement is looking for him and they can’t find him.  How do you propose we will?”

                “Isn’t that my job?”

                “Yes, I’m just making sure you have an answer to that before we fly across the country.”

                “I want the challenge.”

                “Alright, fuck it, let’s do it.  What’s the worst that can happen?  We get to hang out in Florida.”

                “Thanks honey.”

                “No problem.  Hell, I’d love to stick a knife in that pussy too.”

                They book a flight and head to Pensacola.  While on the plane, Abby shakes her head, “I can’t believe Schiff is still talking.  I mean what’s it going to take for him to just put his foot in his mouth.  The IG report just proved he’s a liar.”

                “He’s about to get his ultimate goal that he’s been working on.  They’ve wanted to impeach Trump since the Democrats took over the house.  He’s not going to stop now.”

                “It’s going to fail.”

                “He knows that.”

                “Yea, but he said that he’s not waiting and impeaching quickly because they can’t wait for Trump to cheat and collude again in 2020.  He’s trying the collusion hoax for a third time.”

                “And for a third time, at least 25% of people will believe it.”

                “Yea, but the other 75 know he’s full of shit.”

                “He doesn’t care.  They undermined the 2016 election so they will in 2020.  I can’t really fault him because Trump did the same thing.  Before the election, he claimed that if Hillary won, it was because she colluded with Russia, Ukraine and England.”

                “Yea, and trolled President Obama to make that speech that what he claims is impossible and told him to stop whining.”

                “And now the Democrats are hypocritically whining and claiming what they previously said was impossible.”

                “Yea, something tells me Trump won’t fall for the same trick.”

                “Nope, he’s smarter than Obama.”

                They land in Pensacola and scope out the area looking for a crematorium that would suffice for their purposes.  They then check into a hotel and sound proof the room wrapping it in plastic.  Abby pulls out her phone and furiously types away on social media.  Nouno declares, “You know that he’s Saudi so showing some cleavage and flirting isn’t going to work on him.  They don’t like promiscuity.”

                Abby gave him a dirty look, “My contribution isn’t just about my looks.”

                “I didn’t say it was!  I’m just confused how you’re going to succeed where law enforcement has failed”

                “Don’t worry about it.”

                “Fine”

                Abby pulls out her laptop and Nouno has always been curious on when exactly people started decorating their laptops in stickers.  The back of Abby’s screen was covered in stickers but he never said anything.  This happened sometime between their nine year age difference.  Nouno went to sleep with Abby still typing away.  In the middle of the night, Abby wakes Nouno up. He’s groggy and says, “Yea, babe?  What happened?”

                “I found him.”

                Nouno sits up, “Holy shit you’re a genius as he kisses her.”

                Abby smiles charmingly.  “Let’s strategize tomorrow, I’m really tired and I need to get some sleep.”

                “So you woke me up to tell me we’re going to sleep?”

                “I figured you’d want to know.”

                “I did. But I could have found out in the morning.”

                “You wake up earlier than me.  I didn’t want you to be up and eating breakfast feeling bad for me because I was up all night and came up with nothing.”

                “That actually does make sense.”

                They went to sleep and the next day, they strategized.  Mohammed was in a rural area with friends.  Abby and Nouno head near the house and wait.  A little while later, another car pulls up.  Abby went to school with people from Florida and they agreed to help.  Given that they are Pakistani, they know the culture and have agreed to be bait.  They walk up the house wearing traditional garbs but not a covering for their head.  As they knock, the door is open and the two Pakistani girls ask them in Arabic for directions.  They then back up and predictably, the two men come out and scold them for not covering their hair or being outside without the company of a male.  Nouno is waiting close by with a rifle and he lines up the crosshairs and fires killing one of the screaming Arabs in the head.  When the other one’s head is turned to see where the shot came from, one of the girls pulls a small pistol and puts it up to the other man’s head and fires.  He stands over him and states, “I did come with a man actually”

                Nouno hurries to the house and Abby was already positioned at the back door.  Nouno gets inside knowing that now the element of surprise is gone.  As he enters the house, Mohammed has a gun.  Nouno was already in the air rolling anticipating the gun shot and Mohammed misses.  He gets up and fires back.  He then charges forward as the shots were just cover fire and not aimed.  He drives his shoulder into Mohammed and tackles him to the ground.  Nouno mounts him and punches down at his face and Mohammed covers his head with his hands and squirms.  Abby enters the house cautiously when she heard the gun fire stop.  Seeing Nouno in the dominant position, she casually walks over and lunges a syringe into Mohammed’s neck rendering him unconscious.  She then gives her husband a dirty look, “We are bringing him back.”

                “Why do we have to?”

                “We don’t know if anyone else is supposed to be coming back here.”

                “That’s true”

                “I know you hate this guy but don’t let it cloud your judgment.”

                “Yea, you’re right”

                They load Mohammed into their trunk and drive back to hotel and strap Mohammed down.  When Mohammed wakes up, he starts yelling in Arabic.  Nouno looks down calmly and explains, “Nobody can hear you.”

                “Why am I here?”

                “For the heroes you killed on the naval base.”

                “It’s military, they signed up to die.”

                “Not from terrorists.”

                “Don’t they fight terrorists?”

                “In their country not in ours.”

                “Your country is failing.  There is chaos and your president is about to get impeached.”

                “So what?  It’ll help him because the country will turn against the Democrats and make it easier for him to get reelected.”

                “No no, the Republicans are weak.  The minority Schumer is already threatening McConnell.  He’ll give in just like Republicans always do.”

                “McConnell hasn’t given in with judges.”

                “Judges are one thing but Schumer said that if McConnell doesn’t do what he says, then he’s going to accuse him of covering up Trump’s crimes.”

                “I know and he wants witnesses when Schiff didn’t let the Republicans have witnesses in the house trials.”

                “Democrats never play by the rules that they force Republicans to and Republicans are too high and mighty to get down in the gutter with them.”

                “Before, I would have agreed with you.  The Democrats already had witnesses though.  How could they have missed witnesses?  If they missed witnesses, why would they impeach anyway?”

                “Schiff didn’t want to wait.  He was in a hurry and he knows that Schumer can intimidate McConnell.  He didn’t want to wait for the other witnesses or information.”

                “That’s because the more witnesses and information they had hurt their case more and more.  Better to just cut your losses.”

                “McConnell will cave.”

                “Schumer contradicted himself anyway because during Clinton’s impeachment, Schumer said that the Senate should never call witnesses in an impeachment trial.  He claimed that witnesses happen in the house.”

                “Democrats have no problem being hypocrites and nobody calls them out on it.”

                “CNN called Schumer out on it.  You know it’s bad when CNN challenges you.  Schumer got so pissed too it was so funny.”

                “Yea, but he had an answer.  He claimed the Republicans stonewalled with witnesses”

                “And Schiff was unapologetic that he stonewalled.”

                Abby looks at her phone and calls out, “McConnell just rejected the Democrat witness list and called out Schumer for bloviating.”

                “Why is a woman talking to me?”

                Abby’s eyes filled with rage.  Nouno looked over and grinned.  Abby knew what they were communicating.  Abby removed her socks and walked over to Mohammed.  The bottom of the feet is considered dirty in Arab culture.  That is why she stood facing him and put her left foot on his chest.  She smiled down on him and Mohammed called out, “How dare you, infidel”

                Abby extended her foot and stuck it in his mouth.  “Shut up”

                Mohammed squirmed but Abby had incredible balance.  She took the knife from Nouno and stabbed Mohammed in the shoulder.  She then moved her foot back and forth moving his head with it.  Abby then stabbed his other shoulder.  She continues to stab in non-fatal areas taunting him, “How does it feel that an infidel woman is stabbing you with her foot in your mouth?”

                Nouno declared, “Don’t kill him till I get back.  I got an idea.”

                While Nouno was gone, Abby put the knife down and slapped Mohammed in the face and made sure to kick him in the face as she mocked him for calling her an infidel and being disrespected that a woman was not only talking to him but beating him up.  About a half hour later, Nouno came upstairs with ribs and a beer.  Abby gave him a strange look and then realized what he was getting at.  Muslims looked at pigs as dirty animals so didn’t eat them.  They also didn’t drink.  She grabbed a rib and forced it into Mohammed’s mouth.  She then poured the beer inside and plugged his nose and covered his mouth.  Mohammed was forced to swallow the pork and beer.  Abby took her time and fed him the entire half rack and bottle of beer.  Mohammed kept making the same mistake trying to castigate her only to find something undesirable in his mouth again.  Afterward, she again placed her foot in his mouth.  At times, she used her foot to cover his mouth instead of her hand to force him to swallow. 

                After Mohammed stopped struggling due to the amount of stab wounds and general exhaustion from fighting it, Abby finally articulated, “And now, a woman is going to kill you” as she delivered the fatal blow to his chest. 

                They wrap the body and head out to the crematorium and load Mohammed into it.  As they leave, they go to a diner and get something to eat.  While eating, Abby goes to the bathroom.  She comes back and informs Nouno, “Remember that AB5 law in California?”
                “Yea, they banned independent contractors because they want Uber and Lyft drivers to be forced to join the union.”

                “Right, but you said that it would affect more than just Uber.”

                “Yea, free lance writers I said would be hurt because news outlets aren’t going to make them full time employees.”

                “You were right.  All these writers on twitter are complaining because the Freelance brokerage company they work for fired all their California writers.”

                “I wish I was wrong but it was obvious.  The problem is all those fired writers don’t realize that it was liberal policies that fucked them over.  They’ll continue to vote liberal not realizing that their livelihood was destroyed because of liberals supporting unions at the expense of businesses.  It would make sense for those free lance workers to leave California but I hope they stay so they don’t add liberals to other states and turn them blue.  It always fucking happens.  They have to flee New York or California because of liberal policies and then they vote for the very things they fled.  That’s why Florida is purple; all the New Yorkers that fled but still vote Democrat.  It’s insane.”

                “Well, the real irony is after AB5 passed, Vox wrote an article declaring victory because now companies would be forced to give their freelance writers full labor protections that full time employees get.”

                “That’s not how it works.  They just fire them.  Again, they frame it in a way but when they’re wrong, nobody holds them accountable.  They don’t even lose their credibility as people still believe them.  Nobody is forced to work in this country.  If they didn’t like that they didn’t get full employee benefits, they wouldn’t work for them.”

                “Yea, well now there’s an article about how hundreds of their freelance writers were fired.”

                “They didn’t even give their own part time employees full labor force benefits but they expect other companies will.  I bet they still scold other companies for firing their full time employees.  Fucking hypocrites.  Unless, they did this to force unemployment so they hurt President Trump by trying to raise the unemployment rate.”

                “I don’t think they’re that evil.”

                “I do.”

                ‘I know you do, but that’s a ridiculous conspiracy.”

                “Then why else did they do it?  Why don’t they talk about repealing it?”

                “I don’t know.  It just happened so we’ll see what they do.”

                They change the topic and when it was time, they go back to the crematorium and clean up the machine and dispose of the bones.  They then go back to the hotel and go to sleep.

                The next day, Abby and Nouno go to the airport and fly back to Arizona.  On the plane, Abby turns to Nouno and utters, “Well, yesterday we were criticizing California, New York is joining the ridiculousness.”

                “How?  They passed an AB5 law?”

                “No, but they are letting illegal aliens get driver’s licenses so there was a huge line for illegals to get ID’s”

                “That’s interesting.  Especially since they always claim that blacks and Hispanics are too dumb to know where to get an ID.  That’s why they are against voter ID laws.”

                “That’s a good point.”

                “Oh wait, maybe it’s only Hispanic and black Americans that are that dumb.  Immigrants are exempt from their belief in lower intelligence for different races.”

                “Will you keep your voice down?  This is a public place and you’re embarrassing me.”

                “No, I want people to know that conservatives and Republicans don’t buy into the soft bigotry of low expectations.  We don’t expect anything different from black and Hispanics than we do for Whites and Asians.  We actually believe everyone is created equal.”

                “Immigrants don’t have a history of slavery.”

                “Yes they do.  Every country had slaves.  It wasn’t just America.”

                “Well yea, but, whatever, I’m not comfortable talking about this.”

                They land in Arizona and go home.  Abby turns and jumps into Nouno’s arms wrapping her arms and legs around him as she lets out a shriek of joy.  She kisses Nouno and Nouno comments, “I love when you’re excited but I’m curious with the cause.”

                “I found someone that nobody else could.  I also got to kill a fucking chauvinist bastard.  Did you see how he looked up at me so helplessly as I tortured him?  It was awesome.”

                “He definitely deserved it!”

                “Hell yea he did.”

                They decompressed in their home and tried to get back into their normal routine.  They were unsure how long they would keep up this national vigilante crusade but they were enjoying it so far.