Theo is visiting his
goddaughter. Since he works a lot, he
doesn’t get too much time to see her.
Like many houses in America, Theo’s friend, Koumbara, uses an Alexa
device to make it easier to raise her two kids.
Alexa wakes her kids up, tells them their schedules and reminds them
throughout the day about things. While
Theo was visiting, he asked Alexa if she’s a spy. Alexa responded that every night it sends the
recorded conversations to a central hub and to review Amazon’s privacy policy
for further information. Since Theo is a
far-right conservative, this seems like a violation of the fourth
amendment. He immediately started
arguing with Alexa much to his 10-year-old goddaughter’s amusement. After his goddaughter went to sleep, Theo
tells Koumbara, “That actually freaks me out about Alexa recording us.”
“Why? I have nothing to hide. It can listen to anything it wants. I’m pretty sure our phone does the same
thing.”
“The Russians thought the same
thing. Then they found themselves being
killed for anything the state deemed contrary to their view.”
“I think you’re overreacting”
“So does everyone in the
beginning”
Koumbara was apolitical. She looked down on people like Theo who were
so involved in politics. She had
civilized debates but they never really went anywhere. Theo said, “You know how you don’t give your
kids immunizations?”
“Yea, I don’t think they’re
effective. My mom’s a nurse and I’m
studying to be a nurse practitioner so I’m not completely ignorant on the
topic”
“But they go to public
school. That means the government is
providing their education so they believe they can decide. They just may decide that you’re abusing your
child for not getting them inoculated and they send child services to take them
away.”
“Now you’re just being
ridiculous” Koumbara replied but her eyes told a different story.
“I’m just saying you do have
something to hide.”
“Whatever, it’s inevitable”
“Or how about that Aphrodite’s
(Theo’s goddaughter) teachers want her to be on ADD medication but you
refused. What if the liberals decide
that they know and they drug her at school without your permission?”
“That’s not going to
happen. I thought you didn’t deal with
hypotheticals”
“I don’t, I have it from an
unreliable source that this happened.
They followed the mother to Canada where she fled and took the kid from
her in Canada and brought her to the US.”
“Well, like you said, an
unreliable source.”
“Alright, but just don’t tell me
you have nothing to hide. Anyone that
thinks for themselves is going to have a view that goes against the grain. If you live in a society that doesn’t promote
free speech, like the liberals, then they can target you for not toeing the
line.”
“Look, I think Aphrodite has a
very well rounded political education.
My boyfriend and you are far right conservatives, and you’re probably
the two most influential men in her life.
All her cousins and aunts and uncles, however, are liberals and they are
a very big part of her life too. Between
our entire little village, she’ll make her own decisions on her views.”
“That’s not what we’re talking
about.”
“Alexa and my I-phone make my
life easier so I’m keeping them knowing that maybe a little bit of my freedom
is taken away because I think, you’re exaggerating the threat.”
“Just look what happened with
our President and he’s the most powerful man in the world. They targeted one guy and listened in on the
whole campaign.”
“I don’t care about this shit
but if he had nothing to hide then so what?”
“Carter Page was never charged
for anything”
“I don’t know who Carter Page
is.”
“They got the most invasive
spying warrant available, called a FISA warrant, on him based on a fake
document. Since anyone with a FISA
warrant has a two hop rule, they can loop in the whole campaign.”
“What’s the two hop rule?”
“You know how I work in the
White House?”
“Yes”
“If someone had a FISA warrant
on me. They could listen to all my phone
calls and e-mail correspondence. That’s
the first hop. They then could look at
all the phone calls and e-mail conversations of who the people I contacted
reached out to. So, in a sense, you have
the whole campaign for one guy.”
“Like two degrees of
separation.”
“Right”
“But they already have that shit
anyway. They can just listen to our
phones and e-mail.”
“Not legally, not without a
warrant.”
“So what? Your phone just
deletes it if there’s no warrant?”
“No, and that’s the point. The NSA saves it in case someone needs to
access it. When you get a warrant, you
can go back five years. I actually don’t
know if that’s how long they keep it or if it’s just an arbitrary number.”
“So, you believe they don’t look
unless they have a FISA?”
“Well, it’s been proven they did
when Obama was in office. When Bush was
in office, he didn’t let them. When the
NSA director found out that Obama was doing it, he shut it down. He got fired for telling Trump what Obama
did.”
“Oh, well I think they do it
anyway no matter which party is in office.
That’s my point, it doesn’t matter who’s President; Republican or
Democrat it’s the same shit.”
“That’s just wrong”
“You’re not going to convince me
of that.”
“It used to be true before
Obama. Now that’s over.”
“When did they get this warrant
on Page anyway?”
“Shortly after he was fired from
the campaign”
“Oh, so he wasn’t even part of
Trump’s campaign when they got it so how could it have to do with Trump?”
“Like I said, they can go back
five years.”
“Oh yea, right. Well whatever, they didn’t find anything
that’s why he was never charged. If they
have all this power, why even bother making up a Russian collusion story? Just
get that FISA thing.”
“You don’t need a warrant to spy
on a non-US citizen. If you have a
foreigner, you can listen in on their conversation. The two hop rule still applies. Now, normally, if the foreigner talks to an
American, the American’s identity is masked.
Obama, though, unmasked them to find out if any of them were on Trump’s
campaign. Carter Page helped the FBI
take down some Russians. His name was
Biekov or something. Since Carter Page
was dealing with Russians at the behest of the FBI, they could listen to his
conversations and see everyone he contacted with the two hop rule. But, that wasn’t enough, so they make up
Russian collusion to get a FISA so they could have a third hop from the
Russians he was talking to as part of the case for the FBI.”
“That sounds really fucking
shady”
“Only because it is.”
Theo leaves and goes back to his
house. A couple months later, Theo’s
niece Jenn is visiting from Chicago.
Jenn is a very big baseball fan and the Nationals are playing the Cubs
so Theo gets tickets to go to the game with her. Jenn and Theo are very close and there is
nobody he would rather spend time with than her. He sits at the game and orders food. Although Theo is her uncle, he’s only nine
years older than her. She is 26, whereas
Theo is 35. While they are watching the
game, Jenn’s phone seems surgically attached to her hand. Theo remarks, “You know, you always say
you’re not really a girl because you’re obsessed with sports? But you just sit
there on your phone the entire time you’re at the game.”
Jenn gave Theo a dirty looks and
retorts, “This is how 20-somethings watch sports now. I’m talking about the game with other Cubs
fans.”
“Well, I hate social media.”
“Of course you do, they don’t
let conservatives spew their hate speech.”
“Yea, that’s acting like
publishers. It is in direct violation of
the Communication Decency Act Section 230.
That protects them from being sued by the real hate speech by Illhan
Omar and the radical anti-Semitic, Sharia Law loving Democrats.”
“So what would you do? Shut them down?”
“No, call them what they are,
they’re publishers. It’s like a newspaper. Newspapers can be sued for libel. They should be able to be too if they’re not
going to let everyone on their forum. I
can understand directly advocating for violence but other than that it’s fair
game. If they’re going to act like
publishers, they should be treated as one.”
“So you want the government to
regulate what is said on social media?”
“Outside of Communication
Decency Act 230, no.”
“A lot of your conservative
friends say that”
“I know, and I disagree with
them. The problem and good thing about
conservatives is they’re not collectivists.
They’re all individuals. This
means we’re always on the right side of issues but in differing degrees. This is a problem because, well, united we
stand, divided we fall is true. The only
reason you liberals have power is because we can’t unite and you can.”
“I think our side disagrees
too. I mean Elizabeth Warren wants to
break up Amazon, Facebook and Google.”
“Yea, well Democrats are
anti-corporation so what did they expect to happen?”
“I’m not sure”
“They thought since they were on
the side of Barak Obama and at his inauguration, they did their time so they’d
be protected. They thought attacking
conservatives would keep them on their good side but with you leftists, it’s a
race to the bottom. You all want to be
more extreme than the next so you cannibalize yourselves because people aren’t
extreme enough.”
“Didn’t you just contradict
yourself?”
Theo thinks about it and
realizes that maybe the left isn’t as collective as he thought. He says, “I guess I just mean how some
Republicans are really Democrats but no Democrats are Republicans. Democrats always vote together, Republicans
sometimes vote with Democrats.”
Jenn thinks about this and
inquires, “Why do you think that is?”
“Democrats know the enemy. Right now, it’s the primaries so you attack
anyone right of you. That’s why they
cannibalize themselves but in a general, they know they’re united against the
Republican. That’s why on CNN, you see
them asking tough questions to Biden about flip flopping on the Hyde amendment”
“Well, I live right by a Planned
Parenthood so I’m against the Hyde Amendment”
“Living near something doesn’t
mean you support it.”
“No, but I do support it. The government should help poor people get
abortions by supplementing abortion agencies”
“That’s different. It’s just that when you’re in favor for
something from 1976- June 6, 2019, you should probably know why you changed
your mind.”
“I agree. That’s why I don’t think Biden will end up
being the nominee. He’s phony. Also, that friendship bracelet tweet with
Obama was weird.”
“Yea, ‘best friends day’ Joe and
Barack’ I mean he really is Creepy Joe Biden”
“Actually your boss calls him
‘sleepy’ Joe Biden.”
“Yea but other conservatives
call him creepy.”
“Well, look I’m a Democratic
socialist so I want everything to be free.
That includes social media”
“Nobody is saying you should pay
for social media. Besides, look at
China. They’re socialists and all big
tech is banned in China so if you get your wish, no more tweeting and being on
Facebook during sports games.”
“Yea, well that’s just a shitty
leader.”
“Why is it that’s always your
guys’ excuse? Communism has failed
everywhere it’s tried with multiple different leaders yet you still think it’s
the leader but not the system.”
“Cause it is. Bernie can do it better.”
“No, he can’t and by the time
you realize it, it’ll be too late and we’ll be eating pigeons with
hyperinflation just like Venezuela, who, by the way, Bernie Sanders
praised. He also was pro-Cuba when they
went communist so it is a fair comparison since he liked what Chavez, Maduro
and Castro were doing. Yet, that didn’t
work out so well did it?”
“It collapsed after they were no
longer in power.”
“Are you going to tell me that
they were doing well when they were?”
“Better than they are now”
“Why don’t you ask the Cuban MLB
players that fled Castro? See what they
think.”
“There are Venezuelan players
too. Remember Omar Vizquel? One of the, if not the, best short stops of
all time.”
“Fine, ask him.”
“Whatever, we’ll just see what
happens next year.”
A couple months later at
Koumbara’s house, her ring doorbell was chiming that someone was at the
door. She saw a man that she didn’t know
standing there waiting for her to respond.
Koumbara was home with her boyfriend and her two daughters. Her boyfriend answered the door and the man
said, “Sir, I have a warrant to check the premises”
“Koumbara’s boyfriend looked at
the warrant. He was a lawyer so he was
familiar with these matters but he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The man walked into the house and the
boyfriend called out, “Wait just a minute, you can’t do this.”
“Yes sir, I can, read the
warrant.”
“But, she’s a good mom”
Just then, a couple more men
came in the house and this time Koumbara said something. She cried out, “What is the meaning of
this? Why are you in my house?!”
“Ma’ame, we are required to take
an Aphrodite in protective custody.”
Koumbara’s eyes widened and she
said yelled out, “The fuck you are!”
It didn’t take long for one of
the men to find Aphrodite. He said,
“Come on little girl, I’m taking you to a safe place where people will take
good care of you.”
“But my mommy takes good care of
me.”
Koumbara shrieked, “Get away
from her” as she stormed towards them only to be held back by the other
men. Koumbara demanded, “Let go of me.”
The agent near Aphrodite said,
“Ma’ame, this will be easier if you just remain calm. You’ll have a court case in a month to see
whether or not you’re fit to have your daughter back. In the mean time we need to help her before
she falls too far behind in school and give her the medication she needs.”
Aphrodite started crying as the
man led her out of the house and into his car.
Koumbara yelled at her boyfriend to do something but he said, “They have
a warrant, there’s nothing I can do now.
All we can do is prepare for our court date in a month.”
Koumbara started breathing
heavily. She couldn’t believe what she
was hearing. The men let go of her and
left. Koumbara’s face was drained of
color. She couldn’t believe what just
happened. Her boyfriend tried consoling
her but she was inconsolable. She went
to her room and stayed there. Koumbara’s
boyfriend called her sister and explained the situation and asked her if she
could watch the five year old for a little bit.
The sister agreed and she came over to get the 5-year-old. The boyfriend tried to stick with the facts
and explained to her the warrant. All
she could say was, “How could they do this?”
“Well, they got a complaint by
Aphrodite’s teacher that you refused to put her on ADD medication.”
“She passed the 4th
grade though”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“How did they even know I
didn’t? I haven’t had that conversation
with her teachers since she was in 2nd grade.”
“Right, well, it may have been
in her file but the discovery documents do mention that they picked up the
information from our Alexa system.”
Koumbara looked up and stared
absently into the distance. Her
boyfriend asked, “What?”
Koumbara walked around the house
collecting all the Alexa devices. She
walked outside and threw them the on her driveway. Her boyfriend didn’t even try to stop
her. She climbed into her SUV and drove
over the Alexa’s and continually reversed over them and pulled forward. She then got out of her SUV and stomped on
the pieces screaming, “Fuck you Alexa” repeatedly not caring what the neighbors
thought. For the next couple of weeks,
Koumbara refused to eat and stayed recued in her house.
Meanwhile, Theo was meeting with
his friend Janilsa. Janilsa had worked
for a variety of financial firms and was a financial analyst. Janilsa was a Republican until the Trump
presidency shoved her to the Democrat side.
As they were talking, Janilsa responded to a question about work, “Well,
right now we’re preparing for a recession.”
Theo conceded, “Well, we are
overdue for one.”
“Yea, Trump’s economy is going
to overheat”
“Or, we’re supposed to have a
recession every five years and we haven’t had one since the middle of Bush’s
presidency. So yea, over twice as long
as you’d expect. Not really Trump’s
fault if it happens.”
“If it happens, he’ll lose the
2020 elections.”
“I agree but besides just
natural cycles and being overdue, do you have any facts or does Wall Street go
by intuition now?””
“The 10/3 yield curve has
inverted the last 12 days.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you take out a loan, you
usually have to pay a bigger interest rate for ten years than for three years
right?”
“Yea because a lot could happen
in 10 years; I may die. Lose my job,
lose all my money in Vegas. Who knows
what will happen”
“A whole list of things. Now,
however, three year loans are higher than ten year loans.”
“So you’re saying that people
have more confidence in the economy ten years from now than three years from
now?”
“Correct”
“Okay, so people haven’t been on
board for Trump. In three years, he may
not be President anymore, they worry he’ll lose and the Democrat will fuck up
the economy Trump created.”
“I’m not going to get partisan
with you. They just don’t think three years will be as good as ten. We’ll leave it there.”
“What does this have to do with
a recession though?”
“Oh right, I forgot the most
important part. Every recession in the
last thirty years has been preceded by an inversion in the 10y/3y Yield curve.”
“Oh, well then you may actually
have a point.”
“Yea but usually the 10/2
inverts first but the 10/2 is still higher for 10 than two, so that I don’t
think has ever happened.”
“My theory is beginning to prove
itself out. People are worried Trump
won’t win in 2020. Two years, he’ll
still be president so they have faith, three years he may not be so they’re
worried.”
“Well, I think it’s our national
debt. It’s unsustainable.”
“Yea, the Democrats in congress
don’t want to curb their spending. Trump
keeps telling them to stop with the spending bills and they refuse. We have record high tax revenues but still
deficits because spending has gone up more.”
“That, I agree with you.”
“Alright then.”
“So, we’ll see.”
“Well if the Democrats keep
blocking any effort to stop illegal immigration and keep spending then we’re
fucked in 10 years too.”
“Well he got that deal with
Mexico”
“Yea”
“Too bad he had to pretend he
just got that done but it was really done months ago.”
“Are you talking about the New
York Times article?”
“I am”
“You just read the headline not
the article right?”
“Ummm, yea why?”
“Read the article. It contradicts itself.”
Theo’s phone went off but he ignored
it as he never spoke on the phone at dinner with a friend. He was getting texts that he would see
later. If he would have known it was
Koumbara telling him that his goddaughter was just taken, he would have made an
exception but he didn’t know. Janilsa’s
shoulders slouched as she stated, “Mexico is sending more troops to the border
than they originally agreed upon.
They’re also accelerating their program.”
“Yea, so there was a new deal.”
“Alright fine, he made a deal,
who cares?”
“Normally I’d yell at you
because when you thought it was already made, you criticized him but now that
you know it’s true you belittle it but I don’t think this is the victory the
conservatives make it out to be either.”
“Why’s that?”
“Mexico could be lying. I want to see results. I also have a feeling that the President is
just doing this so that he can say Mexico cares more about helping America stop
illegal immigration into our country than Democrats but it’s at too big a
cost. He has the money for the wall. He doesn’t need congress’s approval. Build the wall with the treasury, military
fund and the money he did get from congress and be done with it. They’re going to impeach him anyway. Every month a number greater than the
population of Miami comes into our country.
You’re talking about our debt being unsustainable, that is
unsustainable.”
Janilsa was the daughter of two
immigrants so she didn’t like this topic.
She just let him rant and didn’t say anything. They talked about lighter topics and Theo left
and checked his phone. The second he got
the texts about Aphrodite he called Koumbara.
She said, “She’s gone.”
“How did this happen?”
“They overheard my conversations
on Alexa that I wouldn’t give her Aderol or other ADD medications.”
“So like I predicted”
Koumbara’s voice was distant at
first but now it was stern. She
pronounced, “I’m not in the mood to hear you say ‘I told you so’ I just need
you to fix it.”
“I can’t, this is done at the
state level in a state that hates the President. There’s not much I can do. What did your boyfriend say?”
“He’s preparing for court in two
weeks. I need you to call in any favors
you have. You need to fix this.”
“You’re the one that didn’t
listen and now I have to save you?”
“The teacher complained, it may
not have anything to do with Alexa. The
court documents say that Alexa confirmed the teacher’s suspicions but maybe
they’re lying.”
“Yes, because lying in court is
such a great idea.”
“Haven’t you been talking about
for three years how the FBI and CIA lied to the court to take down Trump?”
“Yes but that was for political
gain. Attacking you doesn’t help them
much.”
“Fix it or you’ll never see your
goddaughter again”
Theo knew he could find out what
family Aphrodite was with and talk with the family to visit. He was pretty sure he’d be allowed but
thought it would be insensitive to bring it up.
He merely assured her he’d try.
Koumbara hung up the phone and
became despondent again. Theo did
try. He called people in the White House
as well as high ranking military contacts he had. After a week, President Trump was meeting
with Theo. Despite working at the White
House and having met the president before, it was still intimidating. President Trump took the energy out of a room
and his aura was sensational. The weird
thing was he was down to Earth too but still larger than life. Theo and he discussed their case and
President Trump said he’d try to help her out.
The President said, “One more thing, did she vote for me?” as he smiled.
Theo said, “Yes” because that
was the truth but it was the only time she voted and it was because her
boyfriend registered her and forced her to go.
He left that part out.
The President responded, “So she supports me?”
Theo knew he should lie here but he didn’t like
lying. Staring up at this larger than
life man who was four inches taller than him as it stood but much taller in
stature, he just couldn’t do it. He
said, “No Mr. President. She is
apolitical. She does her best to avoid
all political discussions”
The President smiled and nodded and walked out. It was almost like he knew the answer and
wanted to see if Theo would lie. Within
three days, Theo received a call on his phone.
He answered it and heard President Trump’s voice, “Theo, it’s Trump”
Theo didn’t know that so he mumbled and fumbled with his
words until he finally spat out, “Yes, Mr. President.”
“I’m sending a car to you. Go pick up your goddaughter and bring her
home.”
“Thank you Mr. President.”
Theo made one phone call while he waited for the
car.
Koumbara was not speaking with anyone. She would only answer the phone for one
person. She had lost a lot of weight
from not eating but she didn’t care about anything right now. Suddenly the phone rang and it was Theo. She answered it, “Yes”
“Are you home?”
“Yes”
“Good, because I’m coming with Aphrodite. A car is coming to pick me up now, I’m going
to go get her.”
Koumbara started crying with joy. She said, “Thank You”
“Don’t thank me, thank the President.”
“Well, I don’t have his number.”
“Do it on twitter and Facebook.”
“I got rid of those after what happened.”
“I’d go back on just so he can see that you’re publicly
thanking him. I mean it is the right
thing to do.”
“No, not taking a child from its mother is the right
thing to do. You don’t get credit for
returning something you fucking stole.”
“He didn’t steal her.
His enemies in government did.”
“Whatever, I hate government”
“So do most conservatives. What is it with you and not being able to
thank someone that helps you? You’re an
ungrateful bitch you know that?”
“Thank you for using your contacts to help me.”
“Honestly, not good enough. Post a fucking tweet or whatever you call
them on Facebook thanking the president.
Yea, you’re family will harass you but you got your kid back because of
him not because of me. I played a very
small part in it.”
“I’ll see you when you get here.”
Theo went to see Aphrodite and when she saw him she ran
at him and jumped in his arms. Theo
hugged her close and kissed her on the cheek not wanting to let go. He asked, “Did they hurt you?”
“No, but I still want to go home.”
“I know, we are”
Theo got into the car still cradling Aphrodite, who
wouldn’t let go either. They went back
to Koumbara’s house and Koumbara had a similar reaction as Theo except she
cried and kissed her a lot more. After a
couple days, Koumbara was back to herself and she reopened her twitter and
Facebook page and posted a thank you to President Trump. The President liked her twitter post and
responded, “Glad I could help.”
Whereas before Koumbara would let her family attack Trump
and espouse and cheer socialism without participating, she became a vehement
opponent of liberals and the left. Her
family couldn’t really argue as the policies hit them too since they took away
their cousin and niece. When it came
time for the 2020 elections, all of the Democratic Socialists and Democrats in
Koumbara’s family showed up at the polls and submitted a blank ballot. They couldn’t bring themselves to vote for
someone that would steal kids from their parents solely because they weren’t
being raised the way they wanted them to be.
They, however, didn’t want to vote for Trump either or be seen as lazy
by not voting. They felt they made more
of a statement showing up and voting blank as a message to find better
candidates. Koumbara on the other hand
once again cast her vote for Donald Trump.
Only this time, she didn’t need to be coerced.
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