Monday, June 17, 2019

Theo the Trump Employee Episode 15 Arguing with College Students


                Theo works for the Trump White House.  With the constant attacks he and the President gets from the general public and the media, he often finds himself in bars.  He still likes his job but he needs something to take the edge off when he’s constantly fighting.  The one thing that keeps him sane is that the President is still non-violent.  He tells them only to defend themselves but don’t use physical violence in retaliation for words.  Theo has a temper but he was always raised to never pick a fight but if someone picks a fight with him, give it to them good.  He had heard more concise ways to say it; his favorite was, ‘don’t pick fights, end them.’ But since the former was told to him by his grandmother, that’s the one he kept.  He stops by a local bar for a drink.  He’s shocked that with all the political discussions he’s had here, nobody has protested the bar for serving him or attacked him when they overhear him speaking with friends.  This time, however, he is alone.  When he’s walking to his car, however, he’s going to come into trouble.

 

                Ben is a college student at Georgetown.  Like many in the elite schools, he is all knowledge and no knowing.  An analogy to explain the difference is knowledge understands a tomato is a fruit but knowing is not adding tomatoes when you make a fruit salad.  To put it abstractly, knowing is the implication of knowledge.  That is why Theo defined intelligence as “the speed in which you take new knowledge and understand the implications.”  The more implications you find added to the speed in which you realized them is your intelligence factor.  It’s by this definition that he could call many people who excel in academia morons.  Ben is the perfect example of why most suicide bombers are highly educated. When you’re all knowledge and no knowing, you are easily manipulated to doing stupid things.  Ben is 5’11” and 160 pounds so he’s not really an intimidating force.  He and a couple friends don Antifa masks and head out to harass conservatives.  There are a group of conservatives peacefully protesting for Donald Trump to ignore congress and use the treasury, military and last year’s agreement with congress to build the full wall.  It is unknown how much new wall has been built.  The Coulter conservatives list it at 1.5 miles but most people say 50 miles.  It doesn’t matter, when conservatives gather, Antifa loves to provoke a fight by bringing pepper spray, knives and sticks to physically assault them provoking an incident knowing that the mainstream media will edit the videos to make it seem like the conservatives struck first.  Due to this, conservatives rarely fight back and take the high road and instead block rather than engage.  The small group of Antifa protestors use bullhorns to call attention to them and they rush the protest screaming and brandishing their sticks and pepper spray.  Unfortunately for Anitfa, these conservatives knew they were coming.

                While organizing the protest, volunteers were asked to form a human wall protecting the rest of the protestors from outside interference.  All they brought were bats and goggles.  When the bullhorns sounded, the volunteers lined up in between the Antifa members and the crowd and put their goggles on.  Predictably, the Antifa members, who are strangers to combat, still sprayed their pepper spray not realizing that they were completely useless with the goggles.  This, however, did let the Antifa members throw the first punch so to speak but made it much easier for the retaliation. Most of the conservatives realized how inept their opponents were and used their fists instead of the bats.  With one punch, most of the Antifa members took off running.  Ben made the mistake of swinging the stick and smacking a 6’4” 230 pound man in the face. The blow barely fazed him and he jammed the bat into Ben’s stomach.  Ben keeled over in pain and the man lined the bat up with his brain stem and raised it about to slam it down where Ben’s neck met his spine.

 

                While Theo was walking, he saw the small protest.  You always knew which were liberal protests and which were conservative protests because conservative protests were quiet and liberals loud and obnoxious.  The aftermath is always clear too because liberals leave a big mess for the sanitation department to clean up whereas conservatives clean up after themselves.   He saw Antifa get annihilated and scatter like mice at the first sign of opposition.  He looked in the corner and saw cameramen from the protests filming the whole thing.  He knew this was to counter the mainstream media editing videos to lie to the public.  This was what Trump did.  He emboldened conservatives to defend themselves and fight back against the goliath of mainstream media, academia and Hollywood.  Although most of Antifa scattered, he noticed one hunched over and a large man was raising a bat to finish him off.  Theo had no doubt that the Antifa guy deserved it but if they got seriously injured, it would look bad for the cause so he ran up and grabbed the bat in the air and said, “Not worth it man, he’s a snowflake, one blow is enough.”

                The conservative looked down at Ben and said, “Are you finished?”

                Ben said, “Yes” and dropped to his knees. 

                The large conservative shrugged his shoulder and went back to protest as if nothing happened.  Theo helped Ben to his feet and said, “Come on, let me buy you a drink.”

                Ben put an arm around Theo and he half carried him to a bar.  Theo thought that being hit in the stomach should not mean you can’t walk but ignored it.  He sat him down and said, “Why do you get involved in this shit?”

                “No tolerance for the intolerant.”

                “You do realize that the brown shirts and the black shirts did the same thing in Fascist Italy and NAZI Germany right?”

                “No, that was right wing conservatives”

                “What did the brown shirts and black shirts do then?”

                “They vandalized store owners that didn’t fly the NAZI flag and attacked, maimed or killed anyone that didn’t agree with them in Italy.”

                “And how is that different from what you’re doing?”

                “Well, we’re on the right side”

                “You don’t think the NAZI’s and the Italian Fascists thought they were on the right side too?”

                “Well…I mean….hey they attacked us.”

                “You know that you engaged them first.  It always happens.  Stop lying to yourself.”

                “Whatever, I can’t stand by as Trump steals the election.”

                “False.”

                “What do you mean false?”

                “Just pick a lie that you’ve heard and I’ll tell you the real story.”

                “The Russians hacked the DNC server.”

                “Yea, if the DNC server was hacked, why wouldn’t they let the FBI look at them?”

                “Well they wanted people who knew what they were looking for, so they got Crowd Source because it’s a tech company”

                “So the FBI is too incompetent to handle tech security?”

                “Well no, but, a tech firm is better.  The FBI contracts outside help all the time.”

                “Yea but those outside firms report to the FBI right?”

                “Yea”

                “So why did the FBI never see a report from Crowdstrike?  They only got a draft, not the final findings.”

                “Well, umm, I haven’t heard that.  Did you hear that on Fox News?”

                “No, I read the Roger Stone lawsuit.”

                “Oh, he’s that Trump guy right?”

                “Yes, house got raided but unlike the other ones he didn’t cower to the FBI and fought back.  Went to court so there was a discovery period and it doesn’t look good for the FBI”

                “So it said that they only had a draft?”

                “Yup, then the FBI made excuses that they don’t have to prove that the DNC server was hacked because it’s irrelevant to the case.”

                “Well, that makes sense.”

                “But, why would that be the excuse?  If they had the documents, why not just show them rather than make it look suspicious”

                “I don’t like all this declassification stuff.  Some things should be classified.”

                “Fine, but this isn’t declassification, this is a court of law.  The prosecutors have said that they don’t possess the material that the defendant seeks.  The material was provided to the government by counsel to the DNC with the remediation information redacted.”

                “Wait, so crowd source redacted it from the FBI?”

                “Yup”

                “Alright, well, that’s a little sketchy but I’m sure if the FBI didn’t press it, there was a reason.”

                “Well, I lied, this was an outside firm investigating Hillary’s collusion with Ukraine.  The outside source redacted the findings to the FBI.”

                “That’s bullshit.  The FBI hired them; they have a right to know.  You see Trump is covering shit up.  Most transparent president my ass.”

                Theo smiled, “Actually that was the lie; the truth was it was the DNC server hack information that crowd source redacted to the FBI.  Hopefully you see now how biased you are.  The correct reaction was when I pretended it was Hillary information.”

                “Fine, but I mean George Papadopoulos solicited dirt from that Russian asset Mifsud.”

                “Well, I can tell you all sort of problems with that.  If you Google Mifsud, you’ll see he’s with western intelligence assets.  But, I’ll just tell you to wait a couple weeks.  The Washington Post is about to print a story that Mifsud is a friend of a friend of Jim Comey’s.  They’ll spin it but basically they’re admitting that Comey and the Obama administration set up Papadopoulos and Trump.”

                “How do you know this?”

                “I work for the White House, we get a heads up on shit.”

                “Oh, so you’re the enemy”

                “The enemy that stopped you from getting your head bashed in by a bat.  A bashing you deserved by the way.”

                “What do you mean?  I was peacefully protesting the protest.”

                “What were they protesting?”

                Ben hesitated and said, “Doesn’t matter”

                “Yea, you don’t know.  Just like when the FBI said that it didn’t matter if the DNC Server was hacked in the Stone lawsuit.  See, this is what people do when they don’t have the information.”

                “Okay, fine, but all your boy talks about is how great the economy is doing.”

                “Because it is.”

                “You still have deficits. Bill Clinton had a surplus so Hillary would have just done what Bill did so we would have had a surplus.”

                “Wow, that logic is retarded.  How old are you?”

                “22”

                “So, you weren’t even born when Clinton took office in 1993.”

                “No, but I can read about history.”

                “Okay, read this table.” Theo said as he pulled up the table from the US Treasury from 1993 – 2001. 

                Ben looks at the table and sees the deficit go up every year.  He retorts, “But, why do they say that he had a surplus then.”

                “There’s two funds.  There’s inter-government and public.  The public debt did go down but that’s only because they took the money from social security to pay down the debt.  So the inter-government debt increased more than the public debt decreased so net effect, it went down.”

                “Wait, so they stole the money from social security?”

                “Well, by law social security has to use any surpluses to buy government bonds but the government is supposed to pay that back but since they spent the money, they still haven’t”

                “That’s a stupid law.”

                “That, I agree with.  It’s one of the many reasons social security is bankrupt.  Just so you know though, Obama had historically high deficits and was the only president in modern history not to average more than 3% growth.”

                “Well, Obama’s gone”

                “So we’re talking about Clinton, who was two presidents before Obama?”

                “Whatever.  Trump’s tax cuts only helped the rich.”

                “I’m guessing you’re still in college and not working so you don’t have personal knowledge that you’re full of shit.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Even the New York Times wrote an article on 4/14/19 “Face it you (probably) got a Tax Cut” Where they admit that every income bracket got a tax break in every state.  Yea the corporate revenue went down for a little bit but then it recovered and the net revenue had record highs the two years since.  The two highest tax revenues were 2017 & 2018.  

                “Well that’s spin if I’ve ever heard it”

                “How do you figure?”

                “I don’t know, conservative talking points are always lies.”

                “You have that backwards but you’ll crawl back to your professors and they’ll lie to you more.”

                “Yea, I’m going back to those people with PHD’s and many degrees and peer review studies.  What do you have?”

                “Real world experience and common sense.  Two things they don’t.”  Ben got up to leave and Theo cried out, “Don’t go hitting people with sticks anymore.  I won’t always be there to save you.”

                Theo went to close his tab but someone sat down next to him and declared, “So you work for Trump huh?”

                Theo turned to see another younger looking kid.  Theo responded, “Yup.”

                “You know that these tariffs with China is going to bankrupt us.  It’s going to cause millions of jobs to be lost and lead to a huge recession”

                “How many times does the mainstream media have to make these ridiculous Doomesday predictions before you people stop believing this nonsense.”

                “What are you talking about?”

                “Remember when everyone said that if Trump gets rid of Net neutrality, you’ll have to spend an arm and a leg to get an internet that will be slower.  Bandwith prices would skyrocket and all that jazz”

                “Vaguely”

                “You know why vaguely?”

                “Why”

                “Because they were wrong.  Do you pay more for internet?  Is it slower than what you remember five years ago?  Do you long for those days when internet was cheap and fast?”

                “It’s still cheap and fast”

                “Exactly, it’s as cheap and faster.  But everyone just ignores that all their prediction were wrong.  The Iran deal, global warming or climate change or whatever you call it now, it’s all these chicken little sky is falling.  They never happen.  Why do retards still believe this shit?”

                “I took a class about it”

                “You took a class about how China is going to bankrupt the United States because of the tariffs?”

                “Yea”

                “That just shows how ridiculous colleges have gotten.  But, people are beginning to fight back.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Did you hear about Gibson’s bakery and Oberlin College?”

                “Yea”

                “Yea, the bakery got awarded $ 33 million because Oberlin encouraged riots against the bakery for stopping a kid from trying to shoplift wine.”

                “He tried to pay for it.”

                “He wasn’t 21, it was illegal to sell it to him.”

                “Well, I don’t know the specifics”

                “I do, and the jury does too, that’s why they got awarded what may be $44 million.”

                “It was only 22”

                “Ah, so you do know.  However, you forgot the judge is deciding if they need to pay the legal fees of Gibsons, which would bring it up to $ 44 million.”

                “The maximum is $ 22 million”

                “They may be exempt but 22-44 million is still a good fight back to these college indoctrination bullying campaigns.”

                “You don’t know the situation.”

                “Yes I do, I grew up a half hour from Oberlin.  I even visited the school.  I didn’t go there but I’m aware of it and I read the court documents.”

                “So what did the court documents say that the verdict didn’t?” the college student said disbelievingly. 

                “Oberlin actually said that they were worried that the students in protest would throw bagels and muffins on the ground and stomp on them.  They were worried about food fights in the cafeteria because Oberlin had a contract with Gibson’s.”

                “That’s a little ridiculous”

                “Not more ridiculous than the other Doomesday predictions you college kids believe.”

                “Whatever, we’re adults.”

                “Apparently the university doesn’t think so.  The Gibson’s lawyer, however, said ‘is it a college or a nursery?”

                “So the Oberlin lawyer was incompetent”

                “Oberlin has endowments of billions of dollars they can afford good lawyers it was just indefensible.  You are defending someone that thinks it’s racism to stop a robbery and then get beat up for it.”

                “Alright, so maybe that was ridiculous but that’s just an anomaly, it doesn’t represent all us liberals.”

                “What about the Black Hat’s conference.”

                “I didn’t hear about that.”

                “Black Hat is a Cyber Security company.  They had a conference about cyber intelligence.  Their keynote speaker was a guy named Will Hurd but then Axios protested him so they canceled his speech.”

                “Well it was probably for a good reason”

                “It’s because he’s pro-life.”

                “Yea, so he’s anti-woman”

                “What does abortion have to do with Cyber security?”

                “You can’t have haters associated with your company.”

                “That’s the problem, you people think this.  That’s why you need to be destroyed.”

                “You’re just not woke.”

                “Woke just means you can’t think for yourself nor can you think rationally.”

                “Well, look how successful woke people are.”

                “What are you talking about?”

                “Your conservative protests don’t work.”

                “Really, look at the wrap.  All your woke, identity politics movies did horribly in the box office.  Shaft, Dark Phoenix, First Man, all tanked.”

                “What did Dark Phoenix do?”

                “Sansa Stark, the person who plays Dark Phoenix, boycotted Georgia because of their pro-life bill.”

                “Well, people are getting sick of X-men.”

                “That’s retarded.  X-men were very big in marvel comics, it was an arcade game that I played a lot, there were TV shows, it’s nostalgia for an entire generation and they all turned against it because Sansa made it political.”

                “That’s not her real name.”

                “Her real name doesn’t matter.  She’s an idiot so she doesn’t deserve to be called by her real name.”

                “Well Trump said that he would collude with foreigners again.”

                “He didn’t collude before, currently nor will he.  He said that he’d listen to them.”

                “He wouldn’t tell the FBI”

                “I know, I know, when Republicans get information about Democrats, the entire intelligence community needs to investigate him for treason but when Democrats get information about Republicans then the intelligence community works for them and shouldn’t investigate the president but instead take the information seriously.”

                “We don’t have that hypocrisy”

                “Look at Trump with..wait what was the name of the Russian he colluded with?”

                “ummm, Putin.”

                “No, that wasn’t it.  It’s always just Russians but Christopher Steele admitted that he had Russian sources.  Their names are Trubnikov and Surnov.  Hillary colluded with Ukrainian president Viktor Porchenko for dirt on Manafort.  Ukrainian company Burisma transferred millions of dollars to Hunter Biden’s bank account and named Hunter a board member even though he had no experience in working in energy.  Burisma is only the largest energy company in Ukraine.  Then when the prosecutor Lutsenko wanted to investigate this money laundering, then Vice President Joe Biden said he would stop a billion dollars in aid to Ukraine unless they fire Lutsenko.  Biden actually bragged about this.  Ukraine did fire him.  See, I can tell you names and specifics of foreign information to Democrats but I’m sure you don’t care about that.  Instead, you call hypothetical future conversations with Russians ‘treason’ and ‘impeachable.’  If you can’t see the hypocrisy, I can’t help you.”

                The kid grabbed his beer and threw it at Theo and walked away to celebrate with his friends.  Theo ordered a pitcher and was surprised that the bartender actually gave it to him.  He picked up the pitcher and walked over to the college kid and poured the pitcher on him.  The college kid tensed up and screamed but Theo didn’t stop till the pitcher was empty.  The college kid started crying and Theo walked back to the bar where the bartender handed him his tab.  The bartender said, “You’re done.”

                Theo nodded, “Yea, I know” and left a large tip and signed the receipt. 

Theo walked out of the bar and went home with the kid still crying about how wet he was.  Theo was wet too but he didn’t care.  He took the train home because if he got pulled over, smelling like beer was probably not going to go well.  His car was fine till the morning when he would have to go back to work.

                The more Theo dealt with college students, the less faith he had in the future.  He tried to take solace that pretty much every generation says that about the subsequent generation.  Now, however, they were dealing with socialists.  The non-socialists beat them in the 60s. Would history repeat itself?  Time will tell. 

 

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