Nouno tthe Vigilante Episode 9 Disgrunted Worshipper

                Emanuel Kidega Samson is watching the news.  Although the news always has horrible stories that shock people, today is a little more extreme as there was a shooting at a South Carolina church.  This particular church was a black church and Samson is a black man so this one hits him harder than it did other shootings.  While a nation is mourning, Samson is enraged.  He vows retribution and writes a note to his girlfriend on how he’s going to get Dylann Roof back for his church shooting in South Carolina.

 

                Melanie Crow lives in a suburb of Nashville called Smyrna and attends the Burnette Chapel Church of Christ in Nashville.  She is 38-years-old with a wide smile that can serve her well if she ever needs to charm somebody.  She is outgoing and an active member of her community but a devout Christian.  While in church, she starts coughing and ducks out early to get a cough drop from her car.  She still had sermon notes in her hand as she told the minister Spann that she would be right back.  As she walked out the door, she encountered a large black man with a tactical vest with a smiley emoji on it.  She walked past him.  Samson raised his gun and shot at her and she started running.  Samsung kept firing and hit her four times, once in the heart and another split the side of her face causing her to collapse onto the hot asphalt.  The only solace is that she died instantly so she didn’t have to suffer.  Spann, hearing the shots, saw Samson approaching and threw a wooden prayer box at him but Samson fired back hitting Spann in the chest and the hand and then fired at a crowd that had gathered in the vestibule.  The minister’s wife Peggy was struck along with William Jenkins, Marlene Jenkins, Linda Bush and Catherine Dickerson.  While many of his once fellow-worshippers hid under pews, cowered in the baptistery or ran for the exits, Samson paced up and down the aisles counting his victims trying to get to 10 white people.  His twisted logic was that since nine black people died in South Carolina, he would kill 10 white people in retaliation.  Little did he know that this was the south, and other people have guns.

               

                Robert Caleb Engle grabbed Samson as he approached him down the main aisle of the church leading to the sanctuary.  Samson took his pistol and hit Engle three times but Engle would not be deterred.  He stood in his way and grabbed his gun pressing it against Samson’s chest.  The gun went off and this time it was Samson who got the bullet and he hit the floor and dropped the gun.  Engle’s father kicked the gun away.  Engle placed his foot on Samson and held him down as Engle’s father got his gun from the parking lot and stood over Samson until the police arrived. 

 

                Samson would fail in his mission as Crow was the only person that died that day.  When the authorities checked Samson’s car, they found a note conveying that his motive was a church shooting in a different state where he knew none of them and he did it under the Pan-African flag also knows as the RBG.  Samson argued in court that it wasn’t his fault but that he had a tough upbringing.  He had been a member of the Burnette church previously but stopped attending.  It was a church that saw a congregation of various different races all united in their faith in God.  He argued that he suffered from schizophrenia and other psychological disorders so shouldn’t go to jail. 

 

 

                Nouno is watching TV and hears about the travesty in South Carolina as nine people get killed in church.  He shakes his head as these shooting are getting more common.  All he keeps thinking about is a George Carlin stand up routine he had heard in the late 90s where Carlin says, “I can’t wait for shootings in church, it’ll happen just you watch.” The only thing Carlin was wrong about was that the news would call them ‘disgruntled worshippers.’  That part of the routine wasn’t so funny now as it really was prophetic and unfortunately he had to watch it whereas Carlin had passed before it started happening.  Dylann Roof would forever be known as a monster and despicable human being and rightly so.  It wasn’t too long after this that his wife Abby said, “I got another case.”

                Nouno was a vigilante that sought to eliminate people from the population that the media ignored because they don’t want to make it seem like non-whites commit crimes too.  He asked, “Who is it?”

                “A 27-year-old Black guy named Emanuel Kidega Samson.”

                “Why does everyone have three names now?  I thought you only got that if you assassinated a president.”

                “You have a middle name”

                “Yea but nobody includes it when they say my name.”

                “Whatever, anyway we have to go to Nashville”

                “Oh cool, we get to see the Parthenon and the statue of Athena.  They built a replica to how it used to look.”

                Nouno and Abby were both Greek and had visited the country frequently.  As a child, Nouno’s mom would take him to Greece every summer and make him climb the acropolis to see the Parthenon every time.  He had been on that tour so many times that he had it memorized but he had only heard about what it once looked like and Nashville was the closest he’d get to actually seeing it.  The Statue of Athena he never saw ruins of because it was stolen by the Turks when they occupied Greece.  Different tour guides told him different information but the most prevalent theory is that they melted it down and used the gold to make jewelry.  Abby responded, “We could do that but I think you’re going to like this revenge campaign.”

                “What did he do?”

                “He killed a woman and wounded several others at a church.  He wanted to kill 10 white people in retaliation for South Carolina.”

                “Was he from South Carolina or was he visiting when it happened?”

                “Nope”

                “He just saw what happened at South Carolina and took it upon himself to take it out on 10 people that had nothing to do with it?”

                “Yup”

                “You’re right, I am going to like this one.”

 

                Abby was a liberal and Nouno was a conservative so they debated often.  Abby was reading the New York Times on the plane and said, “Uh oh, Paul Krugman says there’s going to be a recession right before the election.”

                “He may be right because the 10year/3year yield curve has inverted.  The 10 year/2 year curve, however didn’t so it’s conflicting information.”

                “Well he won a Nobel Prize so I think he knows more about economics than you.”

                “You do realize he has said there was going to be a recession the last three years right?  I mean he’s got to be right eventually.  Usually we have recessions every 5-7 years and we haven’t had one in 12 so we are kinda overdue.”

                “I’m just saying that your Bachelor’s in economics doesn’t equate to his Nobel Prize.”

                “Obama won a Nobel Prize.”

                “He’s smarter than you too” Abby retorted with a huge mocking smile.

                “Paul Krugman is the king of shitty predictions.  You’re just leeching on to him because it’s anti-Trump but trust me listening to him will make you look foolish.”

                “How so?  Because he works for fake news so he’s the enemy.  That’s the only reason you attack him.”

                “Are you serious? When Trump won the election and the stock market dropped 600 points, he said that the market would never recover.  It recovered the next day.  Now, it’s over 28% higher than when Trump took office so you can’t really get more wrong than that.”

                “Alright, a lot of us were really upset and emotional after Trump won. He exaggerated and let his emotions get the better of him.  A lot of people did.”

                “He covered for Obama by saying that 3% growth was impossible because baby boomers were retiring.  2017-2018 had 3.1% growth so he’s already wrong in Trump’s first full fiscal year.”

                “I told you, a lot of people got dumber with Trump”

                “Yea, I call it Trump derangement syndrome”

                “But now we’re back to normal so things he said from November 2016 – December 2017 you can give him a pass.”

                “No, you can’t but fine, have it your way. In 2010, he said that we were going to have deflation like Japan”

                “What is deflation?”

                “When you’re investments and money gets cheaper as time goes on.”

                “Isn’t that good?  You want to get things cheaper”

                “Why would you buy a house if you thought it would be worth less in the future?  Why would you buy anything when you think the price will drop?  All you do is save your money because it’s going to get more valuable as time goes on.  Basically, your money is worthless because you don’t want to buy anything with it. 

                “Yea, that is really weird.”

                “Lucky for us, Krugman was wrong again.”

                “Why do I think you’re not done?” Abby’s smile was now gone and she had a defeated look on her face

                It was Nouno’s turn to smile as he declared, “Oh I’m just getting warmed up.  In 2007, after the Housing bubble burst and Lehman and Bear Stearns went out of business, Krugman predicted that Europe would outperform America.  America’s recession only lasted a year and half but it lasted much longer in Europe.”

                “So he overreacts”

                “Oh you’re not kidding.  As Europe had more trouble recovering than we did, all of a sudden this continent that was going to outperform us, Krugman predicted that the Euro would collapse.  Wrong again!  So when he said Europe would start growing and thriving, it dropped.  Then when he predicted they’d downward spiral, they didn’t.  He was wrong both ways.”

                “I think you made your point”

                “Oh, I’m saving the best for last.” Abby rolled her eyes and Nouno continued, “How’s social media?”

                “It’s going well”

                “I mean, how many are there now?  Instagram, FAcebook, Twitter, Snapchat.”

                “And I’m on all of them” Abby pronounced glowingly knowing that Nouno didn’t have social media accounts.”

                “So in 1998 when Krugman said that the internet would fail because people don’t like talking to each other and wouldn’t change people’s lives.  He said it would be the equivalent of the fax machine. Would you say that was a brilliant call?”

                “He said the internet would fail?”

                “Yup”

                “Alright fine, he’s an idiot.”

                Nouno just grinned arrogantly.  They arrived in Nashville and get a hotel room.  They outfit the hotel room to make it sound resistant and easy to clean for what they were planning.  First, however, they went site seeing.  In addition to the Grand Ole Opry, the pyramids, Parthenon, Statues of Zeus and Athena, Nouno and Abby canvassed the crematoriums in the area.  They weighed proximity to the hotel and away from highly trafficked areas.  Samson was out on parole and walking around as a free man.  This worked for Nouno as he could save the tax payers of Nashville from housing him for the rest of his life and, at 27, it would most likely be a while.  They followed him and found out his routine and when would be a good time to strike. 

                The night before Abby and Nouno checked into another hotel since theirs was filled with plastic.  They then dressed in dark clothing and went at night with hooded shirts.  Nouno decided not to go with stealth, he walked up to Emanuel and said, “Hey you’re Emanuel, that racist killer right?”

                “Fuck You man” Emanuel said as he charged Nouno. 

Nouno darted his hand up and stabbed him with a syringe and injected a tranquilizer knocking him out and leaning him forward.  Nouno let him rest on his shoulder and said in his ear, “See, I do it face to face like a man, unlike you asshole.”

 

Samson woke up tied down in plastic.  Nouno stood over him with pictures of Minister Spann, Peggy Spann. William Jenkins, Marlene Jenkins, Linda Bush, Catherine Dickerson and a larger blown up picture of Melanie Crow.  He taunted, “Tell me asshole, what did these seven people do to you?”

                “Let me go asshole”

                “No, that’s not going to happen.  We’re going to have a conversation.  Why did you feel the need to shoot these people you human stain?”

                “I needed to purge the blood of my nine brothers with the blood of ten white people.”

                “Well, apparently you can’t count because seven is not ten.”

                “Why are you doing this?”

                “I want you to see what you’ve done.  I want you to see if you have any remorse for trying to kill seven innocent people and actually killing a female who did nothing to you.”

                “Good luck”

                “And you had to shoot her in the back.  You’re a fucking pussy.  Not only did you attack an unarmed woman with a gun but you did it from behind.  I mean it doesn’t get more cowardly than that!”

                “It’s not my fault”

                “Don’t give me this shit that it’s because your parents were mean to you.  Or your upbringing.  Plenty of people get dealt a bad hand and they don’t shoot unarmed women in the back in retaliation for something that they had nothing to do with.  Spare me; you get no sympathy from me you piece of shit.”

                “When you have that racist president talk about how Obama knew about how the government spied on him, what’s a black man to do?”

                “Oh, so now you’re blaming Trump?  When was the investigation of Trump open?  When is the official story of when they started spying on President Trump?”

                “I don’t know that shit.”

                “July 31, 2016.  You want to know what happened five days later?”

                “No, I don’t care”

                “Well, I don’t care what you want pussy.  The two FBI investigators in the case, on August 5, 2016, five days after the investigation was open, they text each other, “The white house is running this.”

                “A lot of people work at the White House.  It could have been Biden”

                “Even if it was, I’m sure the President would have to give his blessing but another text specifically says, “POTUS wants to know everything we’re doing.”

                “You don’t know what ‘this’ is and what’s POTUS?”

                “President of the United States you dumbass”

                “Take off this plastic and say that?”

                “Why?  You wanted to die after your little plan at the church that you failed at by the way.”

                “Not by a cracker like you.”

                “Yea, sucks you don’t get what you want.  I was hoping you’d say that.  Those same FBI agents admitted on 8/6/16, again in texts, ‘we have a mission to stop this menace from being President.’  They failed just like you.  They didn’t want Trump to be president and you don’t want to get killed by a white guy.  All three of you aren’t going to get what you want.”

                “I’ve already been charged, you can’t charge me again.  That’s double jeopardy”

                “Actually, the Supreme Court just ruled that you can be charged with the same crime at the state and federal level.”

                “What?”

                “I think it’s a stupid decision too.  Oddly the ultra-liberal Ginsberg was one of the ones that voted against it.”

                “Who else was against it?”

                “The conservative Gorsuch”

                “Odd pair”

                “I agree”

                “Why would they do that?”

                “They’re setting Trump up so that when he’s not in office they can keep charging him for made up crimes.  They want to be able to do it more than once.  Just like how the Mueller probe ended and the Democrats want to relitigate it and interview the same people.”

                “Well, that’s bullshit, that’s harassment!  You can’t make me go to trial again.”
                “Do you really think anyone cares about your hurt feelings retard?”

                “Fuck you”

                “Good comeback also, what makes you think I want to take you to court?  I didn’t know anyone there.  I can’t charge you.”

                “So, why am I here?”

                “Oh, I thought I made that clear, I’m going to kill you.”

                “You don’t got the balls white boy”

                Nouno then jammed a knife into Samson’s chest and said, “Now nobody is going to talk to Samson”

                Abby chimed in, “What?”

                “From Half Baked”

                “Is that a rapper?”

                “No, it was a movie.”

                “Okay, well, I don’t know that movie.”

                Nouno sighed.  He was eight years older than Emanuel but Emanuel was a year older than Abby.  Half Baked came out before their time and it just reminded him that he was old.  They wrapped the body and took it to the crematorium they agreed on and broke in using the machine to destroy the evidence.  When they were finished, they cleaned up the hotel room and headed to the airport the next day.  While flying back, Abby pronounced, “Wow 180 companies have signed a bill condemning Georgia and Alabama for banning abortion.”

                “That’s stupid”

                “Why?  They’re entitled to their opinions”

                “it’s bad business.  Every time that companies latch on to these liberal whining campaigns it backfires on them.”

                “Name One”

                “Dick’s Sporting Goods, when they argued for gun control, they lost $150 Million that year.”

                “Well, their clientele was outdoorsman and hunters so that was pretty stupid but you can’t say that it’s because it was a liberal campaign.  It was just the nature of who their customers were.”

                “When Target introduced a transgender bathroom, they lost a million customers.  I don’t have the exact number but they took a significant financial hit.”

                “I don’t know why we always argue about business and economics”

                “Me neither but hey you get to learn something”

                Abby shot him a dirty look and Nouno kissed her on the cheek and smiled guiltily.  They landed and went about their daily lives awaiting their next adventure.  Nobody missed Emanuel Kidega Samson. 

-

                -