Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 22 Downward Spiral

                Kera is in high spirits.  Although she was born and raised in the United States, she currently lives in England.  What many people don’t know is that even if you never lived in America, American politics is something the whole world pays very close attention to and is highly familiar with.  As Trump’s popularity has crossed the pond to Nigel Farage’s party gaining seats in Parliament there is talk that a reenactment of Reagan and Thatcher will emerge with Trump and Farage.  To Kera, if the Democrats succeed in taking down Trump as they have been trying for over three years now, then that will send a message across the pond as well to never try this again.

                Kera’s cousin and bodyguard, Fanis, however is on the opposing side of this spectrum.  It is a constant point of contention between them as they amicably rib each other when one is gaining an upper hand on the other.  Kera announces, “We got Trump now.  This whistleblower that listened on his conversation with the Ukrainian president caught him asking President Zelenskiy of Ukraine to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden.  There it is, asking a foreign party to dig up negative information on someone running for president.”

                Fanis responds, “Kind of like the exact same thing that Obama, Chalupa, and Hillary did to Donald Trump using Ukraine and Russia?”

                “Ah, but they aren’t the ones in the hot seat, Trump is.  Now, even Pelosi is thinking of impeachment.”

                “How many times do you have to get excited about ‘we got him now ‘ before you realize that maybe you’re wrong?  The guy’s not even a whistle blower.  He wasn’t there for the conversation.  He doesn’t even qualify as one because he doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of the event”

                “You always get bogged down in the details”

                “The fact that you don’t is why you get tricked so easily by fake news and the Democrats.  Like literally everything a Democrat accuses a Republican of is projection.  The Democrats are accusing Trump of exactly what Obama, Hillary and Alexnadra Chalupa of the DNC are guilty of.  They know the story because they were the perpetuators of it.  Even if that wasn’t true, Joe Biden is on tape bragging about pressuring Ukraine to fire the prosecutor general who was investigating his son Hunter”

                “Biden says he knew nothing about that”

                “He’s lying.  Hunter Biden is already on the record that they did speak about it and Joe said, ‘I hope you know what you’re doing.’ To which Hunter replied, ‘I do’”

                “Wow, that’s so damaging.” Kera commented with heavy sarcasm, “That exchange is really damning”

                “It shows that they did talk”

                “Doesn’t exactly show that Joe Biden told Ukraine to give him the job”

                “No, but they did offer it to him to curry favor to the Vice President at the time.  Hunter had no energy experience.  Why would he be on the board of the largest Ukrainian energy company?”

                “All he bragged about was pressuring the Ukrainian president to fire the prosecutor general.  He never says it was because he was investigating Hunter”

                “Common sense” Fanis exclaimed, “It’s not hard to find out what Viktor Shokin, the Prosecutor general, was working on.”

                “Still, that’s meddling in Ukrainian politics and affairs not asking them to interfere in ours”

                “Which is why I didn’t include Joe Biden when I listed the people that are guilty of what Trump did.  I said; Hillary Clinton, Alexandra Chalupa and Barack Obama.  If you take down Trump for this, then I hope they take down the other three for the same reason but I know that the justice system isn’t fair.  Democrats are always above the law.”

                “Why are you talking about old shit?  Obama isn’t president, Donald Trump is.”

                “There is no allegation of criminality.  This is Russiagate part two.  The President can conduct foreign policy as he sees fit.”

                “Anyway, we got to go.”

                “Where to?”

                “Macau”

                “Oh God! That’s dangerous”

                “Oh, I know you’re excited.”

                “Fuck yea!”

                Fanis loved to gamble and Macau was a country devoted solely to gambling.  Whereas Vegas has two strips of casinos, Las Vegas Boulevard and downtown, Macau has three.  They get on the plane and head to Hong Kong as that’s the best airport to get to Macau.  There is actually a ferry that will bring you from the Hong Kong airport to Macau.  On the plane, Kera asks, “What do you think now that Trump has released the transcript?”

                “That it was a stupid move”

                “Wow, you’re actually criticizing the president”

                “I always call things as I see them.  It was retarded.  It won’t appease anybody and the left will make up meaning of words like they always do and twist everything around to make it seem a lot worse than it was.  Furthermore, now, they’re going to demand a transcript of every conversation he has had with every foreign leader he talks to.”

                “You and your slippery slope.  Why are you so paranoid?”

                “It’s kind of my job description to anticipate things going wrong so that I can react to keep you safe.  Let’s ignore that for a second and talk about our home now, jolly good England.  What are they talking about now that all the gun activists are warning in America?”

                “You mean knife control?”

                “Yes, banning pointed kitchen knives.  First they outlawed guns, so knife violence went up.  Now, instead of learning their lesson, they make the same mistake by banning knives.  What’s next? Hammers or scissors?”

                “Well, their argument is that pointed knives are just for people too lazy to get scissors.”

                “So, now they’re going to do everything with scissors that they use the point of a knife for”

                “Opening things”

                “And killing people”

                “I doubt they’ll ban scissors”

                “People said they wouldn’t ban knives too.  Slippery slopes are real.  It’s not gun violence or knife violence, it’s people violence.”

                “Well Clinton banned assault rifles in the 90s and it worked”

                “Wrong!  Even Democrat congressman Vicente Gonzales admitted that he doesn’t know if gun control will save any lives or stop mass murders. “

                “Yea, well, he’s a representative from Texas, he has to say that shit.”

                “And Feinstein is from California so we know who she’s catering too”

                “Yea, but she quoted a study”

                “A study largely discredited because people proved it was based on faulty information.  A DOJ study in 2004 found that it didn’t reduce gun violence nor make gun violence less lethal.  It basically did absolutely nothing.”

                They land in Hong Kong and go to the ferry.  Fanis exclaims, “Hey, we’re right by Disney Hong Kong, we should go.”

                “You’re ridiculous”

                Fanis smiles, “I know”

                They arrive in Macau and enjoy the Portuguese cuisine.  Fanis tries Jellyfish and Pigeon as he hadn’t tried either before.  They are staying at the Venetian as that’s one that Fanis recognized from Vegas.  They also have a Wynn there but Fanis is more familiar with the largest casino in Vegas, the Venetian, than the most expensive hotel in Vegas, the Wynn.  He wants to compare and contrast.  They drop their stuff off in the room and go to a Chinese museum.  This is pretty much the only historical thing in Macau as everything else is new.  When they go back to the hotel, they see that there is a huge line to get into the Venetian casino.  Fanis sighs and exclaims, “I should have known given how you have a billion people living in China plus the millions living in Hong Kong and Asians love gambling that this place, even with the three strips, would be ridiculously crowded.”

                “I have an idea” Kera declares

                They walk into the hotel side of the Venetian and then walk to the casino through the hotel.  No line, no wait, just walked right in.  Fanis turns to Kera and says, “Good work”

                “Thanks”

                As they walk around the casino, Fanis is very surprised to find that they only have Baccarat and black jack.  Fanis knows how to play a lot of casino games but baccarat is not one of them and pretty much every table is a baccarat table.  He goes to the select few blackjack tables and finds all of them are the equivalent of $ 40 minimum bet.  That’s a little rich for Fanis’ blood.  He grimaces as Macau isn’t shaping up to be what he thought.  He had heard that in the high stakes area, more money changes hands than some country’s GDPs but he thought that, like Vegas, there would be some action for non-wealthy people.

                He decides that he can’t go to Macau and not gamble so he sits at a blackjack table and puts the minimum bet.  He loses the hand and gets up.  They go back to the room and prepare for the next day where Kera will have a meeting.  This time she’s the buyer not the seller.  She’s gaining inventory to sell to other people. 

                The next day, Fanis accompanies her to the Grand Golden Casino, which stands out because it’s a gold building shaped in a very Asian way that makes it stand out amongst the other casinos.  As is his usual routine nowadays, he talks with the bodyguards to pass the time while Kera conducts business.  As always, the bodyguards are very curious about America.  Fanis asks his name and the bodyguard responds, “Su Kwan”

                “Hi Su Kwan, I’m Fanis”

                “Tell me something.  What is the Electoral College that your Democrats hate so much?”

                “US elections are not one national election.  It’s a combination of 50 state elections.  Each state has different values.  There are two types of congressman, there’s Senators and House of Representatives.  Each state gets two senators, so every state has at least two electoral votes.  The house, however, is based on population so it varies based on how many people live in a certain state.  The state that I grew up in, Ohio, has 18 electoral votes.”

                “Two senators and 16 House people’

                “Right, you’re a quick learner.  Now, the state that I lived in longer than any other state, New York, has 29 electoral votes”

                “Because New York City has the most people”

                “Right, so California has the most people of any state so it has the most electoral votes at 55.  Now, to win an election, a candidate needs 270 electoral votes.”

                “Why do the Democrats not like that?”

                “Because sometimes, like the last election, whoever wins the popular vote as in the total numbers of votes, will lose an election since the people that voted for him or her only came from a couple states.”

                “Ah, so this is just one more thing that they are mad Trump won the election.”

                “Yes, they want to change the rules because they lost.”

                “What do you think?”

                “The President needs to represent all Americans and all states.  The Electoral College is the best way to do that.  If you go based on popular vote, then candidates will only go to New York, California and maybe Illinois.  The other 47-48 states are neglected and will never see the people running for president.  See, New Yorkers and Californians have an expression, ‘fly over states’ in that the states between New York and California, which are on opposite sides of the country, are just in the way between California and New York so you need to a plane to fly over them.  You’d never think to stop there.  They want to make them fly over states for presidential candidates too”

                “But, I heard someone say that all the president’s care about now are swing states.”

                “Swing states have equal amounts of Republicans and Democrats so they can easily be swayed to the two parties.  Like California and New York will always go to the Democrat.  Mississippi and Alabama will always go to the Republican.  So, if you’re the party that has no chance, better to just not go there.”

                “That’s the same problem then right?”

                “It’s not about whether the presidential nominee should only care about swing states.  The issue is what’s worse; popular vote or Electoral College.  This is what the Democrats do, they compare Republican ideas to ideals and Utopia and point out that they’re not perfect.  We’re not looking for perfect, we’re looking for the best available.  Every election, the list of swing states change.  Some remain like Ohio and Florida but the last one Pennsylvania was a swing state and it normally isn’t.  Swing states change but big cities don’t.  New York, Los Angeles and Chicago have been the biggest cities in the United States for the last seventy years or more.  Since you don’t know what the swing state will be, you got to do a lot of travelling and meet more Americans and go to more states.”

                “I see both sides”

                “Well, let’s stop talking hypothetically then.  The governor of New York is a man named Andrew Cuomo.  He has been governor for eight years.  There are three counties he has never been to in New York.  There are 10 moee that he’s only been to once.  He, however, has taken over 600 trips to New York City and 223 times to the counties surrounding New York City.”

                Kera finished her negotiations and Fanis says good bye to Su Kwan and heads out with Fanis.  Kera asks, “What do you want to do now?”

                “I want to go bungee jumping off the tower”

                “Alright, we can do that.”

                Afterwards, they get some more Portuguese food and decide they’re going to see the Grand Galaxy.  They decide before going in, they’re going to walk the strip as it’s one of Fanis’ favorite things to do in Vegas.  As they are walking, they are approached by a man.  Fanis couldn’t tell from just looking at someone if they were from Hong Kong or China so didn’t dare guess.  Although Kera was fluent in Mandarin, she didn’t speak Cantonese, which was the other official language of Hong Kong and Macau.  Luckily for both of them, English was the other one.  Fanis had just listened to President Trump’s speech.  He utters to Kera, “The was pretty smart by Trump.  Instead of talking about how illegal immigration hurts our country and isn’t fair to legal immigrants, turn it around to say that you hurt the illegal immigrants since a third of their women are sexually assaulted during the journey.  Also, highlight that you really just enrich and empower the coyotes and cartels and evil people that are involved in human trafficking”

                “They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t think it was better than where they came from”

                “So to escape persecution, you have to allow yourself to get sexually assaulted and sold as a slave?”

                “No, I’m not saying that’

                “They trick them by false promises”

                “Fine, but not all of them”

                “I don’t even know your argument.  Why would you want open borders?  Access control matters.  You need to know who’s coming in.  You do it at your house.  They do it at events like concerts and sports.  Where’s the confusion?”

                “People want a better life.  We are the richest country in the world.  The Statue of Liberty says ‘give us your tired, your poor…all those yearning to be free.”

                “The Statue of Liberty is not a legal document.  Why do you put more stock in the Statue of Liberty than you do the Constitution, which actually is a governing document?  It’s actually THE governing document.”

                Kera smiled and replied, “I’ll give you that”

                “Also, you can’t have a safety net and open borders.  Milton Friedman said that.  It’s mathematically impossible.  We may be the richest country in the world, but we can’t afford to give the whole world welfare and Medicaid.”

                Fanis had noticed that the man who approached seemed not just to be walking their same direction but walking with them.  Kera was used to the Asians lack of personal space but Fanis was not.  Fanis turned to him to let him know that he noticed hoping the guy backed off.  Instead the man engaged him, “You like Trump?”

                “Yes I do”

                “What he’s doing to my country is horrendous”

                “What country would that be?”

                “China”

                “Well, you guys steal our intellectual property so we needed to do something to make you play fair.”

                Fanis was smiling as he said it and trying to light heatedly rib him but he misread him.  The man responded by punching Fanis in the face.  Fanis turned and took a swing himself.  The Chinese guy blocked it and then in rapid succession backhanded Fanis in the head with the arm he used to block and jabbed him a few times in the midsection.  Fanis retreated and took a couple deep breaths to try to get his wind back.  The Chinese guy kicked him in the leg and yelled, “This is for turning Hong Kong against us.”

                Fanis reached out and grabbed a hold of the Chinese man and picked him up as he threw him to the side.  Unfortunately, the Chinese man twisted into Fanis and used his momentum against him to flip him.  Fanis tumbled over and landed on his back.  Kera ran into the closest casino and waited.  The Chinese man mounted Fanis and taunted, “For the first time, our oligarchs aren’t united and it’s because of your president” As he slapped him in the face.

                Fanis gripped the man’s right arm and tucked it into Fanis’ armpit.  He slipped his leg in between the man’s midsection and free arm and put his leg on his shoulder.  Fanis then kicked his other leg up on the other side of the Chinese man’s neck and interlocked his ankles flexing his feet.  Fanis was now choking him with this own arm.  Fanis leaned back as his arms pressed down on the back of the man’s head as he struggled.  Fanis panted trying to recover.  Fanis bared his teeth and remarked, “American companies are leaving yours for Vietnam and Mexico.  We are going to stop your dominance in Asia and give other country’s a chance.  You’ve screwed us too long and I hope Hong Kong wins their real freedom from you assholes.”

                It didn’t take long for the man to stop struggling as his eyes glazed over in unconsciousness.  Fanis eased him off and got up.  He made his way to the casino still a little out of breath.  Kera saw him and gave him a hug.  Kera knew that Fanis didn’t want pity so she whispered in his ear, “Aaron Rupar of Vox has a different take on your president’s UN speech”

                “Oh yea?”

                Kera lets go of him and smiles as she steps back, “He called it a dog whistle because when he said ‘the county isn’t for globalists’ he was being anti-Semitic”

                “That’s why you don’t release the transcript.  The left makes up the meaning of words.  Later in the speech, he condemns Anti-Semitic people.  I guess the actual plain English comment isn’t nearly as effective as subliminal dog whistles to Anti-Semitic people.  I mean, after moving the embassy to Jerusalem and how Israel has said on several occasions how much they love Trump, how can you possibly accuse him of Anti-Semitism?”

                “Well, I’m not Jewish so I don’t really care.”

                “Let’s keep going to the Grand Golden Hotel”

                They leave the casino they’re in and walk to the Grand Golden Hotel.  Between the fight and President Trump agreeing to release the transcript, which caused all the mainstream media outlets to pretend it’s grounds for impeachment, Fanis felt destructive.  He goes to a craps table and calculates that it’s equivalent to a $25 table.  The highest limit Fanis has played is $15 but he throws down the money anyway.  It turned out to be a good idea as Fanis won $3,000.  By the end of the hot rolls, the people at the table knew him.  One woman commented, “Better hope that Bernie Sanders doesn’t win or else he’ll tax that.   Make sure you avoid that list”

                Fanis laughs.  Kera queries, “What’s that about?”

                “Bernie Sanders wants to make a list of all the millionaires and billionaires in the country”

                “Forbes already does that”

                “No, that’s a much shorter list of the richest people in America”               

                “Yea but they have the information”

                “Then why would Bernie want the list?”

                “I don’t know”

                “It’s because Democrats are central planners.  Bernie Sanders wants a national wealth registry to enforce his wealth tax.”

                “What’s that?”

                “Rather than get taxed on your income, you get taxed on everything you own.”

                ‘Didn’t you get taxed on that when you bought it?”

                “Yes, he wants to tax it again.”

                “Why would people buy things then?”

                “Exactly”

                “Whatever, he’s not leading in the primaries so it doesn’t matter.”

                “Would you vote for him if he did?”

                “Well, I’m not a millionaire so what do I care?  I don’t know though.  I don’t want to get taxed again on the things I own.”

                “I don’t know anyone who would”

                “Yea”

                They take a taxi back to the Venetian and go to sleep.  The next day, they head back to London.  Kera is happy because she got a good inventory that she knows she can sell.  Fanis get more and more worried that Trump is going to get impeached and he has lost faith that the American public can see the ridiculousness of it and it won’t hurt the Democrats like it hurt the Republicans when they impeached Bill Clinton.  All he could do, however, was just wait and see If this was just the latest ‘we got him now’ moment that was going to be a dud.