Theo the Trump Employee Episode 32: Impulse vs. Protocol

                Theo is a White House employee but had spent most of his life in New York City.  As he is working, his friend sends him a video.  He clicks on it and sees Kentucky Senator Rand Paul at a restaurant in California.  In the video an elderly woman yells, “You just ran into two people from New York kiddo, and we’re not going to take your Republican bullshit.”

                Rand can be heard in the background trying to reasonably tell her that they may differ politically but at least they can agree that they’re all Americans.  The woman responded by flicking him off.  Theo responds to the e-mail and exclaims, “I don’t understand what the obsession with New Yorkers is to tell everyone they’re from New York in the most egregious and obnoxious way possible whenever they leave New York!  It’s like they want to discourage people from visiting New York so they act like assholes whenever they leave.  In New York, however, these same confrontational obnoxious people keep their mouths shut.  I very rarely saw anyone this obnoxiously rude.  In fact, I’ve seen it more in other states by New Yorkers than the New Yorkers in New York despite how much more time I’ve spent in New York.”

                The person who sent the e-mail responds, “You missed the entire point of that video.  The left is fucking crazy.”

                Theo replies, “I already knew that.  That’s old news.  I needed to go to the bigger issue that people are unaware about.”

                “We need Trump to win.”

                “Unfortunately, I’m not sure if that’s going to help.  We’re in a lose-lose situation.  If he gets re-elected, leftists will continue to throw their hissy fits and these acts of aggression and violence will only continue.  If he loses, then as the Democrats try to turn this country socialist, the conservatives may finally rise up and stop turning the other cheek and retaliate now that President Trump no longer can hold them back.”

                There was no response as it was probably not very advantageous to Theo’s job to work at the White House and insinuate that the re-election of the man who runs it may not be a good thing.  He, however, didn’t really care.  He didn’t like being silenced and he didn’t think a Trump White House was in the business of trying to silence his semi-private e-mail conversation.  As work ended, Theo went to a bar frequented by Georgetown students.  He got a drink and listened in on the conversations ready to try to put these snotty, snobby Ivy League kids in their place.  Unfortunately, he’d been doing this at least once a week for months.  The bartenders were beginning to notice.  The bartender made him his gin and tonic and handed it to him.  He remarked, “You’re back to pick political debates I see.”

                “Yes, I am” Theo fired back confrontationally

                “I just wish that the left and the right could find middle ground.”

                “Those days are over.  There is no more middle ground with Democrats.  Look, can you tell the difference between ANTIFA and the liberal students here?  Or what about Karl Marx and Elizabeth Warren?  The fringe groups have become mainstream with them.”

                “You think the right is better?”

                “I worked for the Leadership Institute.  These people wanted to go to war with Mexico to combat illegal immigration.  Some people claimed the Catholic Church, with all their charity work, was too liberal for them.  Trump hasn’t even talked about banning abortion at all trimesters, the way far-right conservatives have touted.  I call myself far-right but that’s just relative to people here.  When I was at leadership, I was moderate, if not left.  Can you seriously tell me that you hear Donald Trump or any conservative candidate saying those things?”

                “No, I can’t.  I do think it’s a problem though when opposing parties can’t have a civilized discussion.”

                “That I agree with.  That, actually, is why I’m a conservative.  Subsidiary is the only thing that will save this country.”

                A girl sat next to Theo and retorted, “That’s a big word to be throwing around at a bar.”

                “Do you know what it means?”

                “Are you going to Man-xplain something?”

                “What is the difference between ‘explaining’ and ‘man-xplaining?”

                “Would you ask that question if I was a man?”

                “If a guy told me it was a big word then yes I would.”

                The girl’s eyes went up and her head shook back and forth as if she was contemplating whether she really walked into the trap.  “Alright, fine, no, I don’t”

                “It’s the theory that management should happen at the smallest level of accountability possible.”

                “Still not sure how that relates.”

                “The Federal government is too powerful.  The constitution is a document that wanted to empower states against the federal government.  I’m not even guessing since the 10^th amendment pretty much says exactly that.  It states that if the constitution doesn’t explicitly forbid it to the states or give the power to the federal government, default goes to the states.”

                “What’s the difference if the state government is oppressing you or the central government is?  You’re still oppressed.”

                “Voters have more power in states.  You’re vote is a higher percentage of the electorate in your state than it is in the whole country.  The more people you oppress, the more power they have to pay you back in the election at the state level than the federal level.”

                “You’re not really denying that the state government can oppress you, you’re just saying it’s harder for them to do so.”

                “That and there’s more ramifications if they do so there’s less incentive for them to try to oppress you.”

                A boy was eavesdropping and approached.  “I don’t know about that, I’m from California and they seem to love oppressing us.”

                “Then register to vote in the state you live in now.  Do you go to Georgetown?”

                “Yes”

                “So wherever your housing is change your voter registration there and voila no more California oppression.”

                “Yea, but my parents still live in California.  They pay for my place.  When the term is up, I go back to California.”

                “Unless you get a job and become independent from them.  You could get a summer internship here couldn’t you?  You could even take summer courses right?  If you really didn’t want to go back to California, it wouldn’t be hard not to.”

                “Look man, I’m just trying to vent about this bullshit law Newsom (Governor of California) passed.”

                “And I’m still making my point to the young lady sitting next to me.  The other reason it’s harder to oppress someone in states is that it’s very easy to move to a different state.  It is much harder to move to a different country.”

                The girl smiled but the boy responded, “Have you heard about California law AB 5?”

                “Yes, Uber and Lyft drivers are going to have to be employees rather than independent contractors.”

                “Yea, I mean, that’s bullshit.  A lot of people supplement their income by being Uber drivers.  California is expensive, people need that additional income and this makes it harder.”

                “I know.  It sucks that unions are so powerful in California.  The taxi unions fucked you guys.  Liberal policies always fuck people so if you need the Uber income to survive in California, then it’s clear they don’t want you and you need to move to a different state.  If you do, however, realize that it was Democrat laws and Democrat policies that screwed you over.  That way, you won’t make the same mistake in the new state and vote Democrat.”

                “Oh, I’m a Democrat.”

                “Then you’re part of the problem and can’t complain about Newsom because you helped cause it by voting for him.”

                Theo could see the hate in the boy’s eyes and he smiled back.  Although he had lived in America his whole life, somehow this western notion that you can’t be brutally honest with people you just met never registered with Theo.  He talked to everyone like he had known them for years.  That means he didn’t shy away from criticizing and ribbing them.  This is why his first impressions didn’t always go so well.  Apparently, the girl realized this too so wanted to diffuse the situation by articulating, “Well, I guess we’ll see if there are more Uber and Lyft drivers hurt by this policy than there are taxi union people who were helped by it.”

                Theo retorted, “Ah, but it’s not just Uber and Lyft.  Freelance writers got screwed too.”

                The girl inquired, “How so?”

                “Whereas before there was no limit to how many submissions they could make to a publication, now it’s capped at 35 pieces.  Some freelance writers do that in a month.”

                “Why would Newsom alienate so many people?”

                “Unions are strong in California.”

                “Well, then they just have to hire the writers.  That helps them because then they get benefits.  These big corporations can afford them.  Maybe it’s a good thing.”

                “One, no they can’t.  They will lay people off because they can’t pay the medical benefits and other employee benefits for that many people.  Secondly, people work freelance and as independent contractors because their schedules aren’t conducive to have nine to five jobs.  Some people have small kids they need to look after or go to school.  Being an independent contractor allows people not to have to choose between important things in their life and things necessary to make ends meet.”

                The boy chimed in, “Doesn’t that contradict your point though?  Governor Newsom is saying he’s going to defy Trump because he has the scale of the most populous state to counteract his policy.”

                “Not at all.  Governor Newsom was hired by the liberal activists of California and, as such, he should promote his policies.  In a limited federal government world that the constitution describes, these policies would stay in California.  Now, with California influence, the whole country can be hurt by California’s policies.”

                “I guess that goes to your earlier point that it’s easy to leave California so no matter how much Newsom drives it into the ground, the escape is easy.”

                “Correct, except the escape is only easy if it doesn’t go federal.”

                The girl turns to the bartender, “See, we can have civilized discussions.” Then, turning to Theo, “I’m Biancha”

                “Theo”

                “What are you up to tonight?  Do you want to Netflix and chill?”

                Theo was 35 and not accustomed to girls outwardly flirting with him.  He wasn’t very hip to the new lingo but he knew what that meant.  Staring at Biancha she had short blond hair, a round smooth pale face and a petite frame.  She was cute but Theo was still turned off by a girl asking him to have sex.  He shook his head and begrudgingly announced, “Sorry, but you’re a little young for me.”

                “Well, I’m at a bar drinking so obviously I’m 21.  That means I’m legal.”

                “Yea, but I’m old school.  Half your age plus seven is my rule.  That means my minimum is 24 and half.”

                “The fact that you use half birthdays shows that your maturity is probably below my chronological age.”

                “Oh there’s no question about that.  Men don’t mature past the age of 12.”

                Biancha laughed.  “I can agree with you on that.”

                “Besides, I think that guy that came over didn’t do it to debate me, he wanted to impress you.”

                “And he failed because he lost the argument.”

                “Yea, well, still.”

                Biancha looked down and tried to conceal a frown.  The rejection stung but she couldn’t let him know it.  She smiled and remarked, “Have a good night.”

                “You as well, and if you want a refill on that drink, let me know.  I’ll get it for you.”

                She shot him a charming smile but still walked away.  Theo finished his gin and tonic and got another one.  He then moved to the other end of the bar since the people around him already knew he was a conservative looking for a debate.  If there was one thing about liberals is that they hated any dissenting thoughts.  That’s why you always see liberal shout down conservative speakers on campus but you never see conservative shout down liberal speakers.  It had the desired effect, as a student exclaimed, “Look, what the FBI decides to investigate is their business.  They shouldn’t be second guessed.”

                Theo shot back, “Really?  You’re against oversight committees?  Should there be no internal affairs for cops too?  I mean every other industry has oversight but the FBI should be exempt?  Why’s that?”

                The student stuttered but rejoined, “I’m not saying that, I just think Durham is overstepping?”

                “Why?”

                “Everyone’s been saying it.”

                “Did everyone give specifics?”

                “Yea probably but I don’t know them off hand.”

                “So you just mindlessly believe something without getting anything to back it up?”

                “I’m busy.”

                “With classes?”

                “Yea”

                “And drinking at bars?”

                The student gave Theo a dirty look, “Alright, do you have specifics to back up your position?”

                “That there should be oversight?  Yea, every single dictatorship and monarchy.  Machiavellii, ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Or maybe that was Byron.  I don’t know who said it but I do agree.”

                “I meant Durham.”

                “Oh, well I think it’s good he’s getting to the bottom of the biggest entrapment and political scandal in American history.  Throughout history, hoaxes have severely harmed the world and undermining a duly elected president and polarizing the country making a Democratic Republic question the legitimacy of its own elections over a fake document is extremely serious so yea, I think he is getting to the bottom of it.  The fact that people are scrambling for cover and trying for damage control makes me think that he’s on to something.”

                “That wasn’t specific”

                “Well, Durham is going into every detail.  He’s even looking into why Strzok opened the investigation on a Sunday.  If he’s getting that minute, then he’s doing a thorough job.”

                “Why would that matter?”

                “An emergency trip to London to meet with Australian diplomats is a little suspicious.  Why is everything that happened in London?  I mean a Russian-American hoax has to be done in England?  Just on the surface it seems suspicious.”

                “They had information that Trump campaign officials were seeking negative information on Hillary”

                “And if that’s true, then Durham will uncover it and find out that it was all on the up and up but, if it wasn’t, then there’s a problem.”             

                “Why would there be a problem?”

                “The FBI has protocol.  It is very strict.  Law enforcement has a way of being sticklers for procedure and protocol.”

                “Okay”

                “They have clear guidelines that must be followed to move from an inquiry to a preliminary investigation to a full investigation.  During each phase, there needs to be requisite information that has been verified through the five eyes known as the Woods Procedure.”

                “Five eyes?”

                “Australia, New Zealand, England, Canada and the United States”

                “What’s your point?”

                “Protocol wasn’t followed in this case? Why?”

                “It was time sensitive.”

                “Really; because we’ve been talking about it for three years.  You’re telling me that Strzok couldn’t have waited to go through the guidelines.  He couldn’t even wait a day during normally working hours so that people would be around to help him verify and go through the necessary steps?”

                “I’m sure he had his reasons.”

                “Me too.  His mistress and co-conspirator, Lisa Page hinted at it when she testified on Capitol Hill.  She uttered, ‘Well it was Sunday, so nobody was around.’  Why wouldn’t they want anybody around?”

                “The content was highly classified.  They were dealing with extremely sensitive material with dire implications”

                “All the more reason to verify it and go through protocol.  The guidelines and protocol don’t get less important based on the seriousness of the case.  If anything, they become even more important because getting them wrong, as you said, has dire ramifications.  If you do it because nobody is around, then it seems you want nobody there to ask these questions.  Or, other questions like questioning the veracity of the information.”

                Biancha walked over to Theo and brandished her empty glass, “I need a refill”

                Theo turned to the bar and ordered her another drink and closed his tab in the process.  He handed the drink to BIancha and she placed it on the bar.  She wrapped her arms around Theo and shouted, “Thank you for the drink”

                Theo hugged her back and responded, “You’re welcome.”

                Biancha pulled her torso back but kept her arms around his neck.  She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.  Theo parted his and extended his tongue to meet hers.  He then pulled back and shook his head, “I can’t”

                Biancha let go and gave him an accusing smile, “You kissed back.  I guess your rules aren’t as strict as you claim.”

                “Or, it’s hard to resist an attractive girl that kisses you.”

                “So then why are you resisting taking that attractive girl home?”

                “That takes more time for my morals to kick in then an impulsive reaction to being kissed.”

                “Maybe you should release your inhibitions.”

                Theo signed his tab while he was talking.  After putting his card back in his wallet, he smiled and pronounced, “Have a good night Biancha” and walked out thinking that he’d regret this later.  He, however had a feeling he’d regret it more if he agreed. 

                Theo got on the train and headed back to his house in Rockville, Maryland.  That gave him more than an hour to relax.  On the train, a brown girl that was 5’9” with long curly black hair got on the train.  She explained to the person on the phone, “Look, I’m getting on the train so I’ll probably lose service.  My only point is that I don’t think AOC Is wrong when she says that we need to live in a United States that’s owned and operated by all people.”

                She hung up the phone and Theo glared at her.  The girl shouted, “What are you looking at?”

                “I think it’s sad that people celebrate communism in this day and age.”

                “Why not?  You have a problem with equality white boy?”

                “Yes, when everyone is equally poor and poverty ridden with hyperinflation so bad that rather than use bills to purchase things, you just make things out of it.  People become origami experts out of necessity eating rats and pigeons and shit.”

                “Nobody is talking about the communism of Venezuela and Cuba; we’re talking about the communism of Scandinavia.”

                “Everything you just said is wrong.  One that quote you just sputtered off sounds exactly like the communist manifesto for Marx and Engles, which was the blueprint for Venezuela and Cuba, which is what AOC and Bernie Sanders are talking about.  Secondly, Scandinavia doesn’t have communism.  They are a high tax capitalist society. Their corporate tax rates are actually lower than here.  Neither Bernie nor AOC are into reducing taxes on corporations down to Scandinavian levels.  They are, however, interested in raising out individual taxes to Scandinavian levels so you get all the bad but none of the good.”

                “Well, we’re taxed out of our asses here too.”

                “Not like Scandinavia.  In Sweden, the average tax rate is 50.7%; Denmark is even worse at 53.5% and the winner goes to Norway at 54.7%.  Nobody gets anywhere close to that here.  The top 1% gets up to 50% at times but the average is higher than that in the three Scandinavian countries.”

                “The poor pay more taxes than the rich.  Scandinavia doesn’t screw their poor like we do.”

                “That’s patently false.  The lowest tax bracket in Scandinavia is 32%.  Well, that’s Sweden but the other two are similar.  Given our progressive tax system, you know what you have to make in America to get to 32%?”

                “I suppose you’re going to tell me”

                “I am; $500,000 a year.  That’s eight times more than the median income.  You want to know how much the lowest income bracket makes in your model economies to get to the same number?”

                “No, I don’t think I do.”

                “I don’t care; I’m going to tell you anyway.  1.5 times in Sweden, 1.6 times in Norway and 1.3 times in Denmark.”

                “Well according to the New York Times, the poor pay more so who am I to believe some random bald white dude on the train or the New York Times?”

                “You’re talking about the Saez-Zucman book.  That’s been debunked by every single tax agency from here to California.  Don’t believe either, look at the study yourself and ask if it makes sense.  First problem, they measured gross taxes not net taxes.”

                “You don’t think it’s a problem when the actual dollar amount given is higher for the poor?”

                “Not when it gets refunded back to them at higher rates than they gave.  For the lowest income bracket, taxes are basically a savings account.  That’s actually a good analogy since they usually make money on taxes because more is refunded than they put in.”

                “That’s a strange argument.”

                “You don’t think you should include refunds as your tax burden?  That’s like going to McDonalds and saying your value meal costs $50 because you gave the cashier a $50 bill.  Then someone points out to you that you got change back and you claim, ‘Oh no, that doesn’t count because I gave them the $50 bill.”

                “That’s an oversimplification”
                “You’re right because the reality is that your change was like $55.”

                “Is that all you got?”

                “Oh no, I’m just getting warmed up.  Secondly, it takes into account year by year not lifetime”

                “Why is that an issue?”

                “People hold on to stocks longer than a year.  When they cash it in, they’ll be taxed on it but until they do, they don’t get taxed.  Rich people own more stocks than poor people so that’s more deferred taxes they will have to pay eventually.”

                “That’s weak”

                “No, it’s not you just want it to be.  On the same token, they don’t adjust for age.  Old people have already paid their taxes but they have a lot of saving built up over the process.  They are now living off their retirement funds and interest on their savings accounts.  You mean to tell me that that’s not fair?”

                “Right, they have a lot of money built up so will be considered wealthy but they’re retired so not really paying taxes.  That would skew the results.”

                “You give me that one but not the others?  Alright, odd but I’ll take it.”

                “That one’s logical”

                “They all are but I’m not even done.  They assume that rich people hide their income at the same proportion as poor people.”
                “I would agree with that.”

                “You think waitresses and delivery people declare all their tips or loans given to them by friends and family?  You think a high school graduate declares the money he got for graduation? “

                “That’s negligible amounts of money.”

                “And that negligible amount of money represents a higher percentage of a low income person than the same amount would for a rich person.”

                “Rich people hide their money in off shore accounts.”

                “Not at the same proportion that poor people hide their off the books money.  Not even close.  When you automatically assume people have more money than they do, the percentage they pay in taxes will go down.”

                “When comparing it doesn’t if you do it to both sides.”

                “It’s more accurate for lower income people.  Think about incentive.  If you make under $50,000 a year, you have more of a chance of being struck by lightning twice than to be audited by the IRS.  Rich people, however, it’s a real possibility they get audited.”

                “And they have accountants to take care of that.”

                “You’re just wrong about this.  Lastly, and this one is going to be difficult to convince you of, they pretend that corporate taxes only effect share holders. There is no tax organization that makes this assumption.  The most kind to your cause says that 40% is paid by the share holder.  Really, it’s closer to 0%.”

                “Then who pays it?”

                “The consumers.  The people buying the product”

                “But that would mean you have to decrease the amount of taxes that the rich pay and increase the amount the poor pay.  That’s the exact opposite of your argument.”

                “What is the Saez-Zuchman study looking at?”

                “Who pays more in taxes the rich or the poor?”

                “Historically?  In 1980?  Present day? That’s not the only thing it’s comparing.  It’s meant to attack something.”

                “The Trump tax cuts”

                “And what did the Trump tax cuts do to Corporate taxes?”

                “Reduce them”

                “So based on what you just said, how would that skew their data?”

                “Oh, I see what you mean.   Reducing the corporate tax rates, reduces a tax traditionally associated to the lower class.  By pretending it’s a rich tax cut, you pretend the rich got the tax cut when really the poor did.”

                “Right”

                “That’s only true if you’re right that corporations pass on their tax costs to the consumer.”

                “If that’s not true than corporations are not greedy and are loving compassionate individuals that choose to eat their costs in order to not inconvenience the consumer.”

                “Oh, they have an elastic product”

                “If everyone has to pay the same taxes, everyone has to charge a higher amount to get the same profit they were getting before.  If all the companies selling something have to do it, then the price is inelastic.”

                “Well, I’m at my stop and you seem to be getting a little too angry about this.  Relax, it’s just taxes.  It’s a boring topic.”

                “The topic was to not turn our country socialist like AOC wants it.”

                The girl gave a condescending look and got off the train.  A little later, Theo got to his stop and drove his car from the train station to his house.  The closer it got to the 2020 election, the more he feared for the country.  Tulsi Gabbard was rising in popularity.  She had some real bad views and was anti-second amendment but at least she wasn’t a communist.  If Biden can’t recover from the Ukraine scandal, hopefully Gabbard takes over the lead so that if Trump loses, it won’t be a socialist at the helm.  The beauty of American politics, up until now, is that the worst case scenario didn’t greatly affect the everyday life of citizens.  In 2020, that may not be the case. 

Gabbard taking over the lead wasn’t too far-fetched.  The squad had just endorsed Bernie Sanders, which will bring socialists who were previously voting for Elizabeth Warren to Bernie Sanders.  Since Sanders and Warren would split the Democratic Socialist vote, it leads room to someone else to take the lead.  Time will tell.  For now, Theo needed to get some sleep so he’d be alert for work tomorrow.