Larry the Billionaire Episode 33 Blast From the Past

                Larry had left his home in Naples for Chicago.  Although Larry liked the weather in Florida and had spent most of his life in New York City, he preferred Midwest people.  As he liked big cities, Chicago was his best option.  He walked around Lincoln Park and even went to the zoo where you can get up close to the glass as Polar Bears have been known to kick off the rocks at the bottom and charge directly at you.  Larry is amused by this but in the back of his mind, he wonders if the largest bear in the world could break through the glass at some point.  He knew a girl there named Eleanora.  Larry had grown up with Eleanora and once thought her to be the hottest girl he knew.  Now, Eleanora is married with a child and her looks had faded in lieu of things more important to her; like family.  Eleanora agrees to meet up for dinner.  Eleanora remarks, “Have you been following this Whistleblower stuff?”

                “Yea, but it’s a whole lot about nothing.  We have the transcript.  Anyone can read it.  There’s no quid pro quo.  The Whistleblower’s sources were wrong.”

                “Well, that remains to be seen.  They subpoenaed people to testify about it.  Some guy was in closed door testimony all day today.”

                “His name is Kurt Volker; he’s the US envoy to Ukraine.”

                “Yea, so we’ll see what he says”

                “We already know.  In fact, what he revealed outside of the hearing is what was most interesting”

                Eleanora gave him an inquisitive look, “And what might that be?”

                “He claims that Schiff pressed him to say that Ukraine felt pressure from Trump.  He asked him several times and tried to get him to say it but he refused.”

                “Wait, I thought the hearing was closed.  How do you know?”

                “People give summaries of what was said in there.  If it was a damning to Trump, the Democrats would leak it.  Now that it’s good for Trump, the Republicans are leaking”

                “So what else do you know?”

                “Volker denied that Trump pressured Ukraine and that Ukrainian leaders weren’t even aware that military aid was being withheld.”

                “Kind of hard to threaten someone when they’re not even aware of what the threat is.”

                “Precisely”

                They made small talk and Larry did what he often did to attractive girls.  As a billionaire, he would offer women an opportunity for him to buy a high priced item in exchange for sex.  Usually, he waited to overhear a girl articulate what the item is before making the offer but Eleanora didn’t seem to be doing this.  He decided that since he hadn’t seen Eleanora since high school, he didn’t really care if she got upset with him.  He was now 35 so high school was a long time ago and he had done fine without being close with Eleanora.  He asked, “Is there any item that you wish you could afford but can’t but would be willing to do anything for?”

                Eleanora looked up and contemplated the question.  She finally responded, “I’m not really sure.  Me and my husband do pretty well for ourselves.  Why do you ask?”

                “Well, growing up, I had a big crush on you.  I thought you were the hottest girl I knew.”

                “Wow, thank you.”

                Larry merely nodded but proceeded as if he hadn’t, “Now that I’m also doing very well for myself.  I’d be willing to purchase a big ticket item for one night with you.”

                Eleanora gave him a dirty look, “I would never do that.”

                Larry shrugged his shoulders, “Alright, many girls have exploited this.  Some are nobler like life saving surgeries but others are like law school courses.  It’s amazing the varying prices I get.  One girl, I had to buy her a private plane.  I’m not quite sure if she can afford the pilot and gas but whatever that’s what she wanted.”

                “Sorry, but I’m married.  I don’t cheat for any amount of money.”

                “That’s fine.  I can respect that.”

                Larry tried to change the topic but it did change the mood of the conversation.  To Larry’s surprise, she offered, “I do think I have a girl for you though.”

                “Really?”

                “Yea, she planned a party for me.  She’s much younger than us.  Mid-20s but gorgeous.  She’s about 5’6” with short blond hair, grayish green eyes, thin in the stomach but very curvaceous in both boobs and ass.  She’s got the same hour glass shape I had in college.  She’s light skinned but she definitely turns heads.”

                “What makes you think she’d be interested?”

                “Well, I follow her on Facebook.  She has never dated someone that wasn’t a son of a millionaire.  When you meet her though, she seems really down to Earth, not very pretentious or snobby.  I don’t think she’s a gold digger but she doesn’t seem to be with broke guys.”

                “Sounds like she can get it herself.”

                “Oh, I know.  To be honest, I’m slightly offended by your question.  I do like that you didn’t push it and moved on pretty quickly.  I still want to hurt you a little bit though.  This girl isn’t going to be cheap.”

                “Do you have a picture?”

                “Yup”

                Eleanora showed him a picture of her on her phone.  Larry stared at a wide smiling face that brightened her face and melted you even through the picture.  He glared at Eleanora and replied, “Yea, I think this would be a suitable replacement.”

                Eleanora smiled, “Excellent.  I’ll arrange the meeting.  She’s single so she may be more inclined.”

                A couple days later, Larry found himself at a steakhouse with Christina, the girl Eleanora told her about.  They got the basic stuff out of the way and Larry couldn’t tell if Eleanora told her what he was planning.  Christina broke the superficial questions and queried, “What do you think of this impeachment inquiry?”

                “It’s not a real impeachment.”
                “What makes it fake?”

                “They kicked out the Republicans as they were discussing it”

                “Well yea, because it’s like a grand jury.”

                “No, that’s not what an impeachment is.  Impeachments are political trials not criminal trials”

                “They just mean the beginning phase”

                “There is no such thing as a grand jury phase of an impeachment.  Even if it was, grand juries aren’t partisan.  They don’t kick some members out during the grand jury hearing.  Everyone is in there and they vote.”

                “Times are a little different”

                “No, the rules are the same.  Do you know what grand juries do?  They vote.  You know what Nancy Pelosi still hasn’t done; vote.”

                “Well, you did say it wasn’t a criminal trial so it shouldn’t be like a grand jury.”

                “All two and half impeachments in American history were public.  If it’s an impeachment, it should be public.”

                “Two and half?”

                “Nixon resigned before he could be impeached.”

                “Oh, alright”

                “Either it’s an impeachment and you vote like every other impeachment in history and you have a public hearing or you have a criminal trial and include everyone in congress; including the Republicans.”

                “I’m not sure why Pelosi won’t vote.  Trump has publicly dared her too.”

                “Because it would be catastrophic for her and the Democrats”

                “How so?”

                “If she loses, then it would embarrass her and she’ll use political capital.  That’s obvious but let’s say she wins.  There’s like 20-30 House members in Trump districts who are up for re-election every two years.  The Trump supporters in those districts may flip it red in the next election, which would work for the Republicans to take back the house.  It would all be pointless because the Republicans control the Senate and even if they didn’t, you need 67 Senators to vote yes to remove him.  Since he’s being impeached on a hoax, it’s extremely unlikely that they’d get 67 Senators.”

                “It really is kind of a lose-lose.  How did she get herself in this predicament?”

                “The President is very good at making people do and say stupid things.”

                “That we can agree on.”

                “Did Eleanora tell you why I wanted to meet you?”

                Christina got a little shy and pronounced timidly “Not really”

                “I’m a very rich man.  You are an extremely attractive woman.  I’m not looking for any commitment or anything permanent.  I don’t like just handing out cash but is there any big ticket item that you would trade sex for?”

                Christina rolled her eyes, “Wow, umm, no, I don’t care about any of that stuff.  Guys try to impress me all the time with shit but I pay my own bills.  Besides, I have no problem finding rich guys that do want commitment.”

                “Well, you have to work for that.  For some reason, you’re not with them anymore.”

                “They probably have as much money as you.”

                “There are a decent amount of billionaires in America and you may or may not have dated some.  I don’t know and I don’t really care.  You said ‘no’ though so that’s that.  I thought I’d offer.”

                They talked about other things and Larry was surprised that Christina didn’t seem bothered by the indecent proposal.  The night ended and Larry paid the bill and walked out with Christina.  Christina posed, “It’s a nice night. Do you want to walk me home?  It’ll be about a half hour.”

                Spending 17 years in New York City made Larry accustomed to walking and readily agreed.  As they were walking, Christina uttered, “About your offer…”

                Larry was surprised as he had given up.  He told himself he wouldn’t press it if a girl turned him down.  A lot of times they did at first only to come back later.  Christina seemed serious though, “One night right?”

                “Yes”

                “Are you good in bed?”

                “Nope”

                Christina laughed, “I actually like that you said that.  I don’t like cocky guys.  I probably wouldn’t have done it if you said ‘yes.’”

                “Does that mean you’re contemplating it?”

                “How much are we talking?”

                “You pick the item.”

                “Well, like I said, I can get guys to pay for me so it would have to be exorbitant.”

                “Try me.”

                “Is there any catch to it?”

                “We both get tested for STD’s and you have to get an IUD inserted”

                “No deal.  I don’t want anything injected into me.  You just need to wear a condom.  I’ll get the tests because that makes sense.”

                “I can handle that but if you get pregnant, you’re getting an abortion.”

                “I can agree to that.”

                “I will have a contract drawn up.  What do you want?”

                “A Hermes Bag”

                “Okay, just pick it out and I’ll purchase it.”

                Larry thought that Eleanora was wrong.  This girl did it for much less.  High end hand bags, as Larry thought, were like two thousand dollars.  That was on the low end of other deals he’d made.  Christina made the appointment for the doctor and then sent Larry a link to the bag she wanted.  Larry was floored.  He had no idea hand bags went for six figures.  Maybe Eleanora had a point.  He had spent more than that on these deals before but they were for worthy causes like life saving surgery or student loans.  A bag that rivaled those costs?  That was pretty much the definition of ridiculous but he made a deal and he was going to honor it.  He purchased the bag.  Christina came to the hotel and they showed each other their clean bills of health.  Christina then signed the contract. 

                Christina took a deep breath, “Let’s talk.  I mean, it’s fucking ridiculous to just come over like a fucking booty call.”

                Larry was in his boxers but he was accustomed to this as this was normally the reaction women have when it was time for them to uphold their end.  He answered, “What do you want to talk about?”

                “I know you don’t believe in impeachment but what about this guy ‘Mifsud’ I’ve been hearing about lately?  He seems familiar.”

                “Joseph Mifsud is a Maltese professor.  The Democrat narrative is that he’s a Russian spy and they opened up the Russian collusion investigation of Donald Trump because Mifsud talked to a low level Trump campaign member, George Papadopoulos.”

                “Why is he coming up now?”

                “So, Obama weaponized the government against all his political opponents, not just Trump.  One of them was Mike Flynn.  He was Obama’s National Security Advisor who was very critical of the Iran deal in 2014.  In retaliation, Obama and the Democrats accused him of Russian collusion and set him up using the same people that they used to set up President Trump.  Now, after the election, he talked to the Russian ambassador because, well, you know, it was his job.  The FBI asked him about it six months later and when he couldn’t tell them verbatim what was in the transcript, which they had, they arrested him for lying to the FBI.  The FBI agents that interviewed him said they didn’t think he was being deceptive but the higher ups, Comey, charged him anyway. After racking up a million dollars in legal fees and threatening his son, Flynn pleaded guilty.  Now, a lawyer named Sidney Powell is challenging the guilty plea and asking the government to hand over evidence they covered up that was exculpatory.”

                “The government knew Flynn was not guilty?”

                “Yes, but they withheld the evidence so Powell is requesting it.”

                “Aren’t they obligated to comply?”

                “Yes, but they claim sources and methods.”

                “How does this have to do with Mifsud?”

                “Powell found out that Mifsud used phones that are in the government’s possession.  The contents of what’s in those phones clears her client.”

                “Wait, if this Mifsud guy is a Russian agent, then how does the DOJ have his phone?  I thought nobody could find him.  Russian agents don’t just hand over their cell phones before disappearing.”

                “Precisely Powell’s point.  That’s why Mifsud’s lawyer, Stephen Roh, confirmed that Mifsud gave his phones to the DOJ and spoke to at least one person in the United States.”

                “Who?”

                “That’s a good question.  I don’t know but I want to know too.”

                “Where did these phones come from?”

                “The DOJ gave the phones to Mifsud but it’s not clear who gave them back.”

                “Still don’t see the connection with Flynn.  He talked to Papadopoulos.”

                “I said the same guys that set up Trump showed up against Flynn in 2014.  Also, McCain earlier but that’s a different story.  Everything always happens in London.  There was a link campus that a CIA spy named Stephen Halper ran.  He invited Carter Page, Mike Flynn and George Papadopoulos to that link campus in Cambridge in England.  MIfsud was a professor at the link campus.”

                “Oh wow, so this guy’s hanging out in London and he’s a Russian spy and nobody seems to care?”

                “What are you getting at?” Larry was smiling because he knew the answer and was happy that Christina was coming to the same conclusion

                “He’s not a Russian agent.  He’s a western guy.”

                “If that’s true, then the whole Russian collusion investigation and the special counsel was a hoax and a massive entrapment and cover up scheme.”

                “Oh, well, maybe I don’t have all the information.”

                “Or maybe it’s exactly what it seems.”

                “Well, I’m a woman of my word. I see the bag, so I’m going to uphold my end of the deal”

                Larry just nodded. 

                Christina walked toward the bed awkwardly.  She approached Larry and gave him a hug, Larry kissed her on the neck and she flinched a little bit.  She backed her way to the bed and lay down on her back.  Larry approached her and Christina put her legs against his chest, Larry crossed his arms and pressed down on her tibia bone under her shins.  Christina’s knees pinned her shoulders to the bed as Larry shoved his groin against hers.  He quickly became erect and let Christina guide his upper body up so he could put a condom on and then bent them back as Larry penetrated her.  His arms caressed her legs as he bent through her legs to suck on her breasts and kiss her neck.  Larry hoisted himself up on his arms and looked down at Christina’s face. Christina slid her feet off his chest and straightened them.  HHgHHe smiled and said, “You’re my queen, I should kiss your feet”

            He then turned himself around sliding his legs alongside Christina’s torso, hugged her legs and drove his penis behind her vaginal walls as he caressed her legs and kissed her feet.  Christina stared down at Larry’s butt staring her in the face.  She smiled and undercut Larry’s arms with her legs crossing her ankles behind his head and shoving his face into the bed.  She said, “Funny, first you used my legs to pin me down, now I’m using my legs to pin you down.  And…well…just for treating me like a prostitute, and it’s so tempting, I gotta do this” as she slapped her right hand against Larry’s butt.

            She wound up and slapped her left hand against his left butt cheek and mocked played the drums as Larry continued to gyrate his hips.  Christina could feel Larry’s penis elongating even more inside her.  She shook her head as she couldn’t believe he was enjoying this.  Larry brought his knees up and lifted Christina who still had a grip on his head.  He started turning, breaking Christina’s grip and he grabbed her legs crossing them around his right arm, which was being used as a wedge to lock them in place.  He easily whipped her around on her stomach and hoisted her lower body up and yanked her up driving her groin into his as his penis tried getting to her clitoris through the back door.  His hands were on her butt cheeks and he squeezed hard as he brought her legs back putting torque on Christina’s back.  Larry wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Larry stopped short where most people started feeling the pain in the lower back from the maneuver but Christina brought her own legs further towards her head taking Larry’s upper body with her.  Larry hunched over as semen catapulted out of his penis bathing it as the latex from the condom had nowhere else to put it except over his skin.  Larry pulled out and dropped Christina’s legs and sat on the bed.  Christina sat up and sat next to him 

            There was an awkward silence that Christina broke, “What do you think of Beto O’Rourke?”

            “I was hoping people would forget about him.  He’s getting crushed in the polls, which is good because I’m afraid of his gun confiscation.”

            “You mean buyback?”

            “Oh no, people don’t buy their guns from the government.  They are also not for sale.  It’s not a buy back.”

            “Well, I’m obsessed with sports and when a player gets traded, the teams offer fans to trade their jersey for someone that is still on the team.”

            “Exactly, they offer.  They don’t force people.  I’m a Cavs fan and I still wear a Kyrie Jersey.”

            “Yea, I do that too.  When you go to a game, you see jerseys of former players all the time.  It’s really about supporting the team.  I guess that’s a bad example.”

            “Also, it’s not a dangerous position.”

            “You mean how he says there’s going to be consequences if people don’t turn over their AR-15 and AK-47s?”

            “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.  It’s a recipe for disaster because people will fight for their 2^nd amendment rights.”

            “Well, it’s worked in other countries so you’re just fear mongering.”

            “No, I’m not.  Australia, gun ownership went up when they tried it because everyone bought them on the black market.  In England, knife murders skyrocketed.  Furthermore, violent crimes that aren’t homicides like rape and armed robbery is much higher than in the United States.”

            “I’m not sure how it worked around the world but O’Rourke said that the cops would take care of it.”

            “You think it’s a good idea to have cops fighting gun owners for their guns?  You want them to steal someone’s property?  You’re putting officers in untenable situations solely to promote O’Rourke’s agenda that won’t help what he’s alleging it will at all.”

            “You seem like you like Trump, what do you think of the media?”

            “You mean ‘fake news’?”

            Christina nodded, “I thought you’d say that but if it’s so fake then why did CNN challenge O’Rouke on why he believes mass shooters would follow gun laws?”

            “Because O’Rourke is losing in the polls so has no protective status.  That’s for Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren.”

            “Well, I thought it was a good question.”

“The only people that follow the law are law abiding citizens.  If you ban guns, then only law abiding citizens get unarmed as criminals will still have them.  Now, people have no means to defend themselves against the criminals who have guns and know you don’t.  Chris Rock said this in 1999, ‘don’t go to parties with metal detectors.  Sure it feels safe inside, but what about all those (bleep) waiting outside with guns?  They know you ain’t got one.”

            “I was six years old when that came out.”

            Larry stopped talking forcefully and got a little timid, “Well, I was 15”

            “O’Rourke made a good point though.  We don’t write laws so that people never break them.  We do it to discourage them and reduce them.”

            “No, that’s false.  We don’t write laws to restrict the actions of good people.  We write laws that will restrict bad actions from bad people.  Whether or not a law is good works the same way as if an economic policy is good.  Economics talks about ‘Pareto improvements.’  A Pareto improvement means you hurt nobody and help some or all people.  Laws should be Pareto improvements.  It needs to help people and hurt nobody.  For instance, murder being illegal is a Pareto improvement because nobody is hurt by that law but everyone benefits because now people who are morally deficient enough to be okay with murder, will be prosecuted.”

            “I have to admit, I never really thought of it that way.”

            “Gun control works the opposite way of Pareto improvement.  You do nothing to limit the actions of bad people but you make it easier for bad people to hurt good people.”

            “I’m really tired.  I know our deal is over but do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

            “Not at all”

            Christina borrowed a T-shirt and shorts from Larry and lied on the king size bed.  Larry lied next to her and it didn’t take long before his left arm was around her resting on her stomach as his right hand extended under her neck as an extension of the pillow.  Christina’s back was facing Larry and she leaned back and let her body morph into Larry’s.  Her body relaxed and they both fell asleep quickly with Christina cradled in Larry’s arms. 

            In the morning, Christina hugged Larry good bye and went back to her apartment.  Larry went back to his home in Naples, Florida with a weird feeling.  A couple days later, Eleanora called Larry.  Eleanora initiated the conversation, “Hey, how was your night with Christina?”

            “How do you know she said ‘yes’?”

            “I know”

            “Did she say something about me on Facebook?”

            Eleanora took a curious tone, “No, did you want her to?  It was my understanding that you just fucked them and forgot about it the next day.”

            “Right, that is the idea.  Just a business transaction.  Anyway, speaking about social media, did you see this bullshit about Kamala Harris wanting twitter to ban President Trump’s twitter account?”

            “Yea because he intimidates witnesses and obstructs justice.”

            “I had no idea that twitter was so powerful”

            “Yea, when committing crimes, best not do it in front of 65 million followers plus everyone else that has a twitter account.”

            “You would think.”

            “I was actually proud of CNN.  They called out Biden for lying about talking to his son about Burisma because Hunter admitted that they did.”

            “I’m not sure how much of an admission it was.  Hunter says that his dad only told him that he hopes he knows what he’s doing.  I don’t really consider that talking to someone about something.  Yea, he mentioned it but it’s not like he said Joe got him the job.  He obviously got it because they wanted access to Joe but claiming that Hunter admitted it is a stretch.”

            “Wow, you actually are defending a Democrat”

            “I’m always on the side of the truth.”

            “Yea, okay” ELeanora rejoined sarcastically

            “Speaking of Biden, don’t you think it’s funny that Obama endorsed Trudeau but not Biden?”

            “Yea, does Obama know that Trudeau has dressed in black face twice?  I thought that was really racist and disrespectful.  Maybe it’s okay if you’re in Canada.  It seems that Biden is all alone.  I know what you think.  Mainstream media is giving him hard questions and going after him because they want more liberal candidates like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders but I think that’s a cop out.  It seems that nobody is helping Biden anymore.”

            “AOC did.”

            “No she didn’t she endorsed Bernie Sanders.”

            “Exactly, that’s going to make her followers support Bernie and split the communist vote between Warren and Sanders.  Before, Sanders was all but dead.  AOC gave him a lifeline, which will take votes away from Warren.  Since Warren is in the lead, this helps the now second place Biden.”

                “You always twist things around to make things seem worse than they are.”

                “I do not.  I just call it like I see it.”

                “Whatever, you always attack Warren.  I mean her medicare for all plan with not raising taxes on the middle class…”

                “Is a lie” Larry interrupted.

                “Well, journalist, Jay Rosen is offended by people constantly challenging her on it.  He says that you’re not credible if you ask if she’s going to raise taxes on the middle class.”

                “I read something similar to that when I was a kid.  Oh yea, it was called Emperor’s New Clothes you couldn’t see the robe if you were unfit for your office or stupid.”

                “Yea, I know the story.  It’s very famous.  The king wasn’t wearing any clothes but nobody wanted to admit it because they didn’t want to be perceived as stupid or unfit for their office.”

                “It’s so famous but people fall for Emperor New Clothes rhetoric all the time.  Jay Rosen is just another example.  When I heard stuff like ‘you lose your credibility if,’ ‘everyone knows,’ ‘you have to believe,’ ‘you can’t possibly think,’ ‘you have to be a moron to believe.’ I know that whatever follows is probably a true statement that the speaker fears people will learn.”

                ‘You have a very dim view of people.”

                “Yet they always prove me right”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.  I’m glad I could help out.  It was good seeing you.”

“Good seeing you too, good night.”

“Good Night”

As Larry went to sleep, he found himself missing Christina.  This has never happened with his previous women that took him up on the deal but this one stuck with him.  He just really enjoyed being around her and spending time with her.  He figured it would pass eventually.  A week later, he was wondering if Christina ever thought about him.