Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 23 An Attack on Common Sense


                Fanis is in his flat in London where he lives with his cousin and employer, Kera.  Kera is an international Chinese artifact dealer.  She had just recently gone to Macau to procure an item that she  has found a buyer for.  Before alerting her cousin and bodyguard, Fanis, however, she wants to tease him a bit.  She calls out, “Hey Fanis, the inspector general of the State Department Steve Linick has an urgent meeting.  Your boy Trump may be in trouble”

                “Haven’t you realized to wait 24 hours on these, ‘we got him now’ stories?’  It always blows up in your face.”

                “I don’t know, he may get in trouble for his foreign collusion into finding dirt on Biden”

                “You have ties to the British government.  You know that it’s standard procedure to ask foreign intelligence to aid in investigations.  Sometimes, it’s even the law like the Woods procedure, which actually requires you to send your information to four countries to make sure it’s verified.”

                “Well yea, but they’re undermining the Mueller probe.”

                “How?  He didn’t investigate the origins of the investigation?”

                “Exactly, it limits it.”

                “How do you limit a probe that’s over?”

                Kera contemplated this for a second, “Well, I guess it doesn’t limit it but it does discredit it”

                “So what?  If someone submits a report and someone investigates something else and it refutes the first point, that’s called good investigating.  It’s not criminal, it’s the way our process works and should work.  Hell, science is based solely on retesting other people’s findings.  This isn’t even retesting, it’s just investigation another aspect that someone didn’t look into.  How is that wrong?”

                “I don’t care”

                “Of course you don’t because you’re losing the argument.  Even Mueller would always answer ‘not in my purview’ when asked about the origins of the 2016 investigation.  Furthermore, in 1996, Bill Clinton made a rule to talk to foreigners to aid in investigations so that they’re not one-sided”

                “It makes sense”

                “Then why do you have a problem with it or give the media any credibility for their fake outrage?”

                “I don’t know, we’re going to Bermuda.  Pack your shit.”

                On the plane, Fanis remarks, “You know, Democrats want to impeach Trump for asking for foreign help to investigate Biden but then they want everyone to forget that Hillary paid foreigners to dig up dirt on Trump.”

                “That’s a conspiracy”

                “I thought you would say that; so I actually printed out the articles.” Fanis pulls out papers from his pocket.  He holds up an article from Politico entitled, ‘Ukrainian efforts to sabotage Trump backfires’ he asks, “Do you consider ‘Politico’ part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy?”

                “No”

                Fanis pulls out another paper, this one from CNN.  The headline reads, ‘British intelligence passed Trump Associates Communication with Russia on to US Counterparts’ the date is the end of October 2016, right before the election.  Fanis inquires, “Looks like the country we reside in isn’t so innocent according to CNN.  Do you think CNN is part of the Right Wing Conspiracy?”

                “Nobody calls it the ‘Right Wing Conspiracy’ anymore”

                He flips to another piece of paper, “He’s one from the Hill called ‘Australian Diplomat whose tip prompted FBI’s Russian probe proves he has ties to Clintons.”

                “That’s a very long headline and The Hill is right leaning”

                “Doesn’t change the fact that it’s true”

                “Well, the other ones were from sources you deem, ‘fake news.’”

                “Sometimes they didn’t get the memo and print the truth by accident.”

                “You made your point”

                “No, I forgot the biggest one; Russia.  Here’s a Daily Caller piece ‘Steel identified Russian Dossier sources Notes Reveal”

                “Again, I don’t trust conservative media.”

                “Do you accept when I say I don’t believe anything Fake News says?”

                “No, I don’t. That’s why I’m throwing it back to you.”

                “Ah well, just because you don’t acknowledge these articles exist, doesn’t mean they don’t

                They land in Bermuda and take a cab to the hotel.  The airport in Bermuda is on the other side of the island from the more popular attractions.  After they drop their stuff off, Kera and Fanis walk to one of many pink sand beaches and go on a walk along the water.  After the long walk on the beach, they go into a bar and relax.  As they look up, Fanis sees cricket on TV.  Fanis loves sports but cricket is not a sport he ever really understood nor had explained to him.  He starts talking to a guy next to him and asks him to explain cricket.  He merely responds, “Where you from?”

                “America”

                “Oh, that’s why you don’t know cricket.”

                He proceeds to explain the game but in between, he asks questions.  “What brings you here?”

                “Business”

                “What type of business?”

                “I’m a bodyguard”

                “Ah, so I shouldn’t mess with you.”

                “You can mess with me, just not with the person I protect”

                “Quite right.  Well, if you can get out, you should hit a golf course.”

                “I don’t play golf”

                “Wrong island for that.  The courses are beautiful here.  That’s why most Americans come here.  The beaches are nice but unlike many Caribbean islands, it’s not very good for partying”

                “I’m a little too old to party”

                “Never too old my friend”

                “I’m not sure if I believe you as restaurants have all these quotes to drinking.”

                “Yea, and rum is big here.  We like to drink but we’re not much of clubbers”

                “That works for me.”

                “This bar has a motto; you Swizzle in and Swaddle out”

                “Alright, well let’s hope I don’t do that.”

                The night ends and Fanis and Kera go back to the hotel to rest before going to the sale the next day. 

                While Kera was negotiating the sale, Fanis was talking to the security.  The security guard identified himself as Murphy.  Murphy poses, “What do you make of Biden’s denial that Ukraine helped them dig up dirt on Trump?”

                “That’s easily debunked.  Alexandra Chalupa, who worked at the DNC, went to the Ukrainian embassy and they linked him to President Porchenko of Ukraine.  Here’s an official statement from the new president, “It was great that you were the first who told me that she was a bad ambassador because I agree with you 100%.  Her attitude towards me was far from the best as she admired the previous president and she was on his side.  She would not accept as a new president well enough.”

                “That quote isn’t too damning.  So, the old Ukrainian ambassador hated Trump, doesn’t mean she helped find dirt on him.”

                “The official documents from the embassy say Chalupa requested for Porchenko to come to America and work with Obama to find dirt on Trump.  It’s been confirmed by the Ukrainian embassy.  Chalupa was actively seeking Anti-Trump information using Ukrainian sources.”

                “Okay, that is damning evidence.  The other one was pretty weak.

                “At least something stuck with you.”

                Kera finished with her negotiation and they leave the place.  They decide to go hiking on a trail that has views of the clean, turquoise sea.  As they are walking, they realize that hiking isn’t something that people in Bermuda do very often as they haven’t seen anyone on the trail.  It’s a simple trail so they talk and hang out.  As they move in, they run into a man.  Fanis nods his head and the guy doesn’t return it.  Fanis pays no attention and walks past him.  The man reaches out and grabs Kera and holds a knife to her throat.  Fanis turns around and calmly declares, “What do you want?”

                “We don’t like these shady dealings being done in our country”

                “Selling of Chinese antiques?”

                “You know that’s a cover”

                “For what?”

                “Don’t play dumb with me; I know why she’s here.”

                “Me too, she made a sale now we’re tourists since our business is over here.”

                “Most tourists go to the rum factory or watch a glass blowing show”

                “Tourists can’t hike?  What about the ones playing golf?”

                “You American?”

                “Yes”

                “What’s with your president’s conspiracy theory that the ICIG changed the form so the Whistleblower could come forward?”

                “Put the knife down and I’ll tell you all about it.”

                Surprisingly, the man did put the knife down.  Kera moves away and the man glares at her, “I could put the knife back.  You stay here.”

                Kera looks at Fanis but Fanis doesn’t advance.  Kera is too close to the guy who still has the knife.  Fanis wants to distract him.  “There’s no conspiracy. Sometime after May 2018, the form was changed to include second-hand information”

                “So, it wasn’t so the Whistleblower could come out for the call.  That happened in July 2019”

                “They did it secretly.  Why would you make a law secret if you weren’t trying to set someone up?”

                “Andy McCabe, he was a former FBI director, celebrated the ICIG’s candor.”

                “He would.  Andy McCabe has been charged with lying under oath.  It’s laughable that you think McCabe is credible.  After the Whistleblower came forward, they looked at the law.  It said it had to have firsthand knowledge.  They ICIG magically looks at the statute and reinterprets the language and then forces a change to the form.  If that’s not blatant changing the rule for one guy, then I don’t what is.”

                “Trump was pressuring Ukrainians by threatening to withhold military aid and sending Giuliani”

                “Yea, people have investigated that and Ukraine didn’t even know we were giving them military aid.  You can’t threaten to withhold something if you don’t know we were thinking of giving it to you.”

                “Yea, well he was sending Giuliani”

                “Ukrainian president Zelensky says he’s never met Giuliani”

                “You don’t have to meet someone to know who they are.”

                “You do have to meet them if he’s pressuring you into something.”

                “Trump made it known that Zelensky didn’t want to meet his muscle; Rudy Giuliani”

                ‘When did he say that?”

                “it’s implied”

                “Trump doesn’t really imply. He’s normally pretty blunt”

                As Fanis is focused on the argument, he isn’t prepared for the right hook that connects with his face.  Fanis back up and the man punches him with the left forcing Fanis to his knee.  The man grabs the back of Fanis’ head and slams it into his knee.  Fanis falls back onto his back.  The man declares, “I’m going to kick your ass, then I’m going to rape your girl.”

                Fanis turns around and makes his way back to his knees.  Kera is watching knowing she should be running but the man is keeping an eye on her so she is scared still.  She needs Fanis to distract him so she can run.  The man grabs Fanis by the back of the neck and grabs his shirt.  He takes some quick steps and tosses Fanis who lands face down near a cliff.  The man turns to Kera and informs her, “I know why you’re here.  Bermuda doesn’t welcome your kind here.”

                Fanis gets to his feet and yells out, “Is that all you got?”

                The man smiles at Kera and charges at Fanis.  Fanis bends down and as the guy approaches, straightens himself up while wrapping his arms around the man’s legs loosely.  The man’s own momentum carries him into the air as Fanis directed his charge that way.  The man flips onto his back but instead of landing on his back, he’s catapulted over the cliff and his back crashes in the water below.  Fanis’ nose is broken and there is a cut on his face but he walks toward Kera, “Come on let’s go”

                “Are you okay?”

                “Yea, I’m fine”

                “I mean, what was all that martial arts training for if you’re going to get your ass kicked like that?”

                Fanis smiled and shook his head.  They finish the hike and then go back to the hotel.  Kera offers, “Do you really have no qualms about Trump moving his conversations onto a secret server?  I mean, it’s like he’s hiding something”

                “No, I don’t.  The secret system was made to stop leaks.  Look at 2016, it was constantly one leak after another.  Government being as slow as it is, they didn’t make the secret system till 2018.”

                “Yea, I do remember that.  I just don’t think they have the full transcript”

                “Why do you say that?”

                “I saw a Senator Angus saying that his staff read the transcript out loud in 10 minutes and 40 seconds but the call was 30 minutes.  What’s the other 20 minutes?”

                “I saw the same interview.  Angus admits that it’s possible that there was a translator but dismisses it since President Zelensky speaks English.”

                “Yea, but when you’re dealing with foreign leaders, it is paramount that there’s no misunderstanding so they still need to be told in their first language.  It shouldn’t be hard to see if there was a translator.”

                “it’s not and there was.”

                “So that explains it”

                “Yea, Angus contradicted himself.  Or at least discredited his argument.”

                “I don’t know.  It’s just getting ridiculous.  Even Bill Mahar is turning against liberals”

                “Well, they’re destroying comedy but yea the backlash for the Whistleblower impeachment talk is palpable.  People are pissed”

                “You mean the fact Trump rose 11 points in the polls?”

                “No, fuck the polls.  People are opening their wallets. In the last three months, $125 Million have been raised.  The Trump campaign now has $156 Million cash on hand and $308 Million year to day.  This is twice as much as Obama had.”

                “Liberals are just as pissed.  Ellen WInetrap of the FEC is so pissed she’s trying to change the rules to make receiving information from Ukrainians a foreign campaign contribution.”

                “That’s unconstitutional.  That means any time someone insults the person you’re running against, it’s a campaign contribution.  If you can be prosecuted for spreading gossip and giving your opinion on someone, then that is definitely against the first amendment.”

                “Well, they just need to word it right.”

                “No, they need to scrap it.  Let’s say if they pass it, then all the Democrats would be guilty too.”

                “I guess it is hard to enforce.  Maybe just if you work for a campaign”

                “Then you can’t insult your opponent when you’re knocking on doors and talking to people?”

                “Alright fine, I don’t know”

                They went to sleep and crossed the island to go to the airport the next day.  When they got to their gate, a native asked, “How did you like Bermuda?”

                Fanis responds, “Interesting.  Beautiful country.  A lot of good things but not everything went perfectly”

                “Life very rarely does.  I love Bermuda because we have very low taxes.  The motto here is that they won’t steal your money but if shit happens, don’t come to us.”

                “You saying taxes in America are too high?”

                “Without a doubt.  The average American spends more in taxes than they do on clothing, health care and food combined.”

                “I didn’t know that”

                “it’s just shielded from you since it’s withheld from your paychecks”

                “Yea, I guess if we actually had to write checks, we would realize this more.”

                “So, the average American spends $18,617.93 in taxes a year but $14,758.11 on basic necessities like food, clothing and healthcare.  That’s a difference of over $ 3,800,00”

                “That is definitely problematic. That’s why I’m a conservative.  We like limited government.”

                “Let me ask you, what did you get for that money?”

                “The strongest military in the world.  We also got roads, but even those have a lot of potholes.  I guess just the military”

                “You could easily have that for less than 18K a year.”

                “I agree but I don’t make the rules”

                Fanis and he talk about economics and then Fanis boards the plane.  Fanis dozes off relatively quickly in his seat as does Kera.  When they land in London, they go back to their flat and recuperate from the long flight.  Fanis was enjoying travelling the world but lately, people have been attacking Kera more and more.  He wonders why.  Maybe Kera is moving up.  Maybe they’re challenging him.  Maybe Fanis is just overreacting.  He decides it doesn’t matter.  His job is to protect Kera and he will for as long as it takes. 

No comments:

Post a Comment