Kera and Fanis are in Kera’s
flat in London. Their demeanors couldn’t
be more different as Fanis is jovial and smiling while Kera is scorned and
edgy. This is a microcosm of how America
is at this time and it’s for the same reason; President Donald Trump. The week started with the Democrats failing
miserably on their new app and hotline to count votes in the Iowa Caucus. This was parlayed the next day by President
Trump giving a riveting State of the Union address where he pulled no punches
and culminated the next day in his being acquitted by the Senate in the
impeachment trial. If you were a
supporter of Donald Trump, it was a great three days. If you weren’t, then it was a miserable three
days and Fanis and Kera represented each side.
Kera snapped, “I just don’t understand how the Democrats keep letting
Trump set them up to look like idiots.”
Fanis replied, “You have to understand
that the Democrats are so used to congressional committees, media, and academia
forming an impenetrable trifecta that dictates culture and forces any
Republican to cower to them and pray for scraps but President Trump doesn’t
play. He shoves them to the side and
sits at the table and says ‘I’m eating here mother fucker.’”
“The problem is he doesn’t just
sit anywhere, he has to sit at the head of the table.”
“That’s right. The fact that you think that’s a problem is
the problem.”
“Democrats used to be savvier
than this though. I mean they called
Bush a NAZI but at least they had some semblance of decorum and strategy.”
“Democrats are used to being
bullies and not having the people they strike hit back. Due to this, their skills aren’t being refined
and they forget what it’s like to be punched and to be losing in order to mount
a comeback. They’re used to people just
letting their guard down and taking their free shots.”
“I know you’re my bodyguard so I
need you to have a violent streak and think about combat but does everything
have to be analogous to fighting to you?”
“Yes”
“Oh, alright then.”
“That is why I can appreciate
his three hit combo.”
“You can’t tell me you give me
him credit for the Iowa debacle.”
“No, the first shot was the State
of the Union, which was fact based and attacking then the second shot was his
being exonerated again and acquitted and the final play came with the ATP Job
reports. The expectation was the economy
would add 160,000 jobs in January but they actually added 290,000. Impeachment couldn’t stop the Trump economy
juggernaut.”
“Nobody likes a gloater.”
“Only losers don’t like people
who gloat. If the situation was
reversed, we both know you’d be gloating.”
“Yea, probably” she said with a
giggle before adding, “Anyway, pack your stuff, we’re leaving.”
“Where to?”
“Brazil”
“Have you ever thought about
moving back to America? We always go to
the places in the western hemisphere.”
“I also go to China a lot.”
“That’s just for the
artifacts. They can ship them to us we
don’t really need to be there in person.”
“Yes I do because I need to
inspect them”
“I guess so.”
At the airport, CNN is on the TV
at the gate. Van Jones is on and Fanis
sighs, “Let’s see how this jackass is going to spin the State of the Union to
make it seem like it was bad for Trump.
I bet he talks about how brave and bold Pelosi is for ripping the speech
at the end.”
Van Jones starts talking about
how effective President Trump was and how they shouldn’t downplay when he
talked about black college and criminal justice reform does to black
voters. He urges Democrats to wake up
and take notice how Latino and Blacks are responding to him and they should
look at the State of the Union as a warning by the president that he’s coming
after the black vote. Fanis’ mouth gapes
open in shock. Kera smiles and mocks,
“So, was that fake news?”
Fanis stutters for a moment
before getting his thoughts out. He
finally declares with shock evident in his voice, “I can’t believe that CNN
actually said something fair about the president. I don’t even know how to react. What he opined was absolutely true. I’m beginning to question it myself but I
really think that miraculously a true statement was released from his
lips. I’m just confused now.”
Kera giggled as his discomfort
amused him. Fanis followed with a laugh
of his own. They boarded the plane and
made their trip to Brazil. On the plane,
a black Englishman was sitting next to them and asked, “I missed the speech.
How did Trump reach out to the black community?”
“He brought in a number of black
people so that he could honor them. One
was a little girl who he gave an opportunity voucher to so she didn’t have to
go to a horrible public school. Another
was a 100 year old former World War II pilot that he promoted to brigadier
general. He praised a black congressman
for work that he did and other things.
As he kept mentioning people in attendance, it was almost always black
people.”
“Smooth move.”
“He also brought up how he
reformed the criminal justice system.
Personally, I think it was a mistake but it reverberates well in the
black community.”
Kera interjected, “Yea, but he
couldn’t just leave it at doing something nice for the little girl. He had to show up the Democrat governor of
Pennsylvania who vetoed a bill that would allow school choice.”
The Englishman responded, “Well,
that’s how the game is played. If you
deny something to someone, you vilify the person who denied it and then provide
what was denied to make you look like the good guy.”
“Yea, that’s exactly what he
did. It wasn’t to help the girl; it was
to spite the Democrat governor.”
“I don’t think the girl minds
why he did it. She’s just happy to be
going to a school where she won’t get shot.”
Fanis added, “And Pennsylvania
just happens to be a swing state.”
The Englishman grins, “I’m sure
that was by accident.”
“Of course it was” Fanis
rejoined sarcastically.
The plane lands in Rio and Fanis
and Kera go to their hotel. They go out
for steaks as Brazil is known for having one of the best steaks in the
world. Personally, Fanis wasn’t too
impressed but Kera thought hers was good.
After dinner, they go bar hopping and Fanis’ eyes wander as Brazilian
women seem to be an anomaly of nature.
Although other cultures, like Kera and Fanis’ Greek, have women that
manage to have large breasts and butts but skinny waists and stomachs, the
contrast in Brazil is sharper than in any other culture. Kera noticed her cousin’s wandering eyes but
was more amused by it. Fanis had a look
but don’t touch policy with women because he had been falsely accused of sexual
assault by women he never touched one too many times. In today’s me too, feminist and toxic
masculinity environment, women loved dropping the rape charge against someone
that upset them in manners unrelated to sex.
After the bar, Fanis and Kera
went back to their hotel and rested. The
following day, Kera went to her rendezvous with her client to try to off load
her Chinese artifact that she sold internationally. Although Fanis and Kera
spoke six languages between them, Portuguese was not one of them so Fanis
conversed with people in Spanish. To
Kera’s surprise, Brazilians didn’t speak English so she relied on Fanis to get
around with his Spanish. While Kera was
conducting business, Fanis spoke with the security guard of the building. Based on Fanis’ accent, the guard asks him, “Are
you American?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Did you watch Trump’s speech?”
“The State of the Union, yes”
“What was going on with that
woman behind Trump?”
“Nancy Pelosi. She’s the third in line for president. We call it the Speaker of the House.”
“What happened with her?”
“Well, she keeps trying to beat
Trump and believes she’s smarter than he is.
Every time she fails, she gets more upset as she has a big temper. She can’t understand why a moron like Trump
keeps beating her.”
“She needs to stop trying. She’s just embarrassing herself.”
“I know”
“She couldn’t just sit still and
not look like she was diseased?”
Fanis laughed and explained,
“Like I said, she has a really big temper.
When President Trump didn’t shake her hand after giving her the speech,
she felt embarrassed that it happened in front of millions of Americans so she
was unable to control her anger.”
“Why did he do that though?”
“I think it was an accident
because he didn’t shake Pence’s hand either but others disagree. As for a reason, he knew she wouldn’t be able
to control herself and that the camera would be on her the whole time. Since she couldn’t hide her anger, it would
come out for an hour for the country to see.”
“That’s exactly what
happened. She was shaking her head and
muttering to herself the whole time. She
looked like a child.”
“Even when President Trump
offered the young girl the scholarship to go to school, she was still so mad,
she couldn’t even clap for her.”
“Yea, that did look bad.”
Kera came out from her meeting,
and Fanis greeted her while saying good bye to the security guard. As the day was still young, they went to Copa
Cabana and walked along the beach as the waves crashed onto the shore. The mountains in Rio are not shaped like most
mountains as they are thin and seem to be curving at the top like waves. In the distance, you can see the famous
statue of Jesus with his arms wide but it looks tiny from the beach. While walking, a woman approached Fanis and
places her hands on his chest. She
declares, “Oh look, an American. I love
Americans.”
Fanis sizes her up and find the
proportions that are common in Brazil.
Unlike in America, Brazilians go to the beach in thongs as bottoms and
Fanis believes that when you have a butt that looks that good, you should show
it off. Fanis smiles and greets her in
Spanish. She gives a charming look with
her entire face participating in it. She
replies in Spanish, “You speak Spanish.”
“I do.”
“Do you know Portuguese?”
“No”
“It’s very close to Spanish.”
“I can see that but doesn’t mean
I know it.”
“Do you like your president?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Did you watch the speech he
gave the other day?” Fanis was a little
surprised how the entire world seemed to know about the State of the Union
address. For the second time that day,
he answered in the affirmative prompting the Brazilian woman to inquire, “It
was very surprising to bring Guaido to the speech.”
“I thought it was brilliant.”
“Yea, if there’s stability in
Venezuela, then maybe they’ll stop trying to come here illegally.”
“Well, most of them go to
Florida in the United States.”
“It’s easier to get here than it
is to get to Florida.”
“Yes, but by telling him to
bring the message to Venezuela that Americans are united with them in their
fight for freedom, it sends a message to the Venezuelans that have fled to
America, especially Florida, that he has their back. That means they are more likely to vote for
him and people think whoever wins Florida, wins the election. Ending it with ‘freedom united the soul’ was
especially powerful.”
“It was also nice to surprise
that woman and the two little kids with their father and husband coming home
from Iraq.”
“The idea was good. Elections are won by photographic moments
like that but she didn’t seem too excited to see him. It was a little weird if you ask me.”
Suddenly, a man grabs Fanis by
the shoulder and turns him around and shouts at him in Portuguese. Fanis didn’t pick up everything but got the
gist. He poses in Spanish, “What’s the
problem?”
The man snaps a punch across
Fanis’ face that caught him off guard.
He shouts in Spanish, “You’re talking to my girl. You Americans always think you can come in
here and steal our women.”
“I was just talking. I didn’t know she was your woman. I didn’t mean any disrespect.” Fanis’ hands
were up and he was backing away.
The man closed the gap and this time Fanis blocked the
punch but quickly found a foot in his check knocking him back. Fanis was able to block a roundhouse kick to
the head but the leg came hard and it still staggered him. The Brazilian unloaded two shots to Fanis’
chest before jumping onto his hands and kicking Fanis across the face knocking
him to the ground. Fanis pushed himself
up fuming. As soon as the altercation
happened, Kera ran off. She looked back
briefly but not to check on Fanis but to look at the girl who was beaming. It didn’t take much for her to realize that
she set this up. This had nothing to do
with Kera; this was about attacking an American. Fanis got up and put his hands to his side
but shifted his weight to his back leg.
The Brazilian man who was several inches shorter than the six foot Fanis
was moving with great agility as his legs alternated stepping so that they got
close to crossing but never did. Fanis
stared unimpressed with a stoic expression on his face. He waited for the Brazilian to make a move
and then Fanis stepped forward and kicked his right leg as hard as he
could. In an extremely athletic move,
the Brazilian once again shot forward and threw his hands down kicking his legs
over his head toward Fanis but it was thwarted because Fanis’ foot slammed
against his nose collapsing him onto his stomach.
Fanis stomped on the man’s back and knelt down with a
solid punch to the back of his neck. He
taunted, “You capoeiristas are so predictable.
Love moving and looking fancy but this is a fight not a dance. Fanis took a couple steps back and darted
forward kicking him in the side of the head knocking him unconscious. The girl he was talking to was no longer
smiling as she ran over to him and lied down with her hands up pleading with
him. Fanis calmed down and turned to
walk away. As he did, he was surprised
to find Kera who usually goes back to the hotel when there’s a fight. She storms to the Brazilians and slaps the
girl across the face and barks in English, “That’s for setting my cousin up.”
The Brazilian woman grabs her face and stares at Kera
with a hurt expression. Kera turns her
head quickly as her long black hair snaps behind her. Fanis poses, “What just happened?”
“You’re so oblivious.
That was a planned attack on us.
She thought we were together so she flirted with you to make me jealous
and let me know that she could steal you if she wanted. Then, she set you up to get attacked by her
boyfriend. That way you get your ass
kicked and then you have to answer to me because you allowed her to distract
you from me.”
“Well that backfired then. You really think it was that elaborate?”
“Yes, I know women.”
They go to a seafood restaurant for dinner. Kera declares, “Do you think that since Trump
spent the whole time reaching out to blacks and Hispanics, that he alienated
his base?”
“Nope, because he publicly gave Rush Limbaugh the
Congressional Medal of Freedom and had the medal ceremony at the speech.”
“Oh right. There’s
no bigger symbol of conservatives than Limbaugh and giving him the highest
civilian honor definitely endears him to conservatives even though he did some
not-so-conservative things.”
They finish dinner and go back to their hotel. In the lobby, the TV is set to MSNBC and
Fanis complains, “What is it about airports and hotels always playing fake
news?”
“Because that’s what a majority of people want. Nobody wants to watch Fox.”
“What do you mean?
President Trump’s job approval is the highest yet and half the people
they polled think he should be re-elected.
That was before the State of the Union so it’s probably higher.”
“Maybe it’s not as great as you thought it was.”
“Then why is everyone in England and Brazil talking about
it?”
Kera looks away and seems to contemplate this, “Yea,
that’s a good point.”
As they are talking, James Carville comes on MSNBC. Fanis rolls his eyes and Kera bares teeth in
her grin as the most famous Democrat analyst and strategist comes on with his
iconic bald, oval shaped head. It’s not
like Fanis can talk because he’s bald too.
Carville articulates that it’s time for Democrats to panic because the
Iowa Caucus was a disaster. It’s not
just the ineptitude of not having the hotline or the app work but the turnout
was horrendous as well. It couldn’t
possibly have gone much worse.”
Fanis gives a quizzical look at the screen and Kera’s
mouth narrows. Fanis blurts out, “What
is it with Fake News finally giving honest analysis?”
“Maybe you’re too harsh on them.”
“No, this is weird.”
“Whatever, I’m super tired. I’m going to bed.”
They go to the sleep and the next day, they head to the
airport to fly back to London. Kera
takes a deep breath because she doesn’t like teeing Fanis up. She utters, “What do you think is the
Democrats problem? Try not to be
sarcastic.”
“There’s three types of
candidates. There’s an establishment
candidate, an outsider one and a radical one.
Right now, Democrats can’t really decide which one they want. To make matters worse, none of the candidates
really represent the lanes they are supposed to be in.”
“What do you mean?”
“At first, they wanted the safe
pick but then they started leaning toward Bernie. Others, however, kind of like the outside
Buttigieg so they’re not united.”
“Well, there are always people
that like different candidates”
“But there’s a clear leader in
what type they want. The problem is, Buttiegieg
isn’t an outsider since he was the mayor of South Bend, Indiana. Bernie Sanders talks like a radical but given
that he’s a millionaire, he doesn’t perfectly fit the role. This is the same for Elizabeth Warren. You can’t even go with the safe pick of Biden
because of all his gaffes and the Ukraine Burisma scandal. He also seems to like talking affectionately
about segregationists. There’s no clear
distinction in what lane the candidates are.”
“Warren was weird because she
travels on private jets. It’s not really
a problem that she does but when she sees a video camera, she hides behind her
staffer. She basically took a moment
that nobody would have really cared about except conservatives and made it an
issue and awkward.”
“Yea, she’s a liar and not very
savvy.”
“Hiding behind a staffer so
nobody realizes you fly on a private jet isn’t lying.”
“No, only the things she says
are lies.”
“Yea, but all politicians do
that.”
“Not as bad as her and that’s
saying something.”
“Speaking about planes, look at
this tweet of Trump’s private plane. The
token black guy, Ben Carson, has to sit in the aisle. He doesn’t even get a seat.”
Fanis smiles because he had
already seen another photo. He shows it
to Kera of the same flight and Ben Carson sitting in first class with President
Trump’s family. Just in case Kera didn’t
know what she was looking at, Fanis asserts “He didn’t have a seat because he
was in first class.”
Kera frowns and turns her back
to Fanis who chuckles. Not too long
after that, they arrive in London and head back to their flat. As they get back to their home routine, Fanis
can’t help but wonder what’s happening on the other side of the pond as
President Trump has made it very clear that he’s in full campaign mode.
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