Nouno the Vigilante Episode 42 Better call Kathryn

                After two decades of peace, safety and prosperity by the leadership of Mayor Giuliani and continued by Mike Bloomberg, New York City was named the safest big city in America.  This was a happy time for New Yorkers as they could ride the subway without experiencing fights and panhandlers peacefully and passively asked for money.  Those days are long gone with DeBlasio as the mayor of New York.  Now, it is so common to see turnstile jumpers that people wonder why they even bother paying the fare.  Due to DeBlasio not reprimanding or punishing those who attack the police, criminals are more emboldened to do so knowing that their boss won’t have the officer’s back.  Outside of New York or those unfamiliar with the transformation from Dinkens and Koch to Giuliani will claim that jumping a turnstile is no big deal when you have rapists and murderers to deal with.  That is until Giuliani introduced his broken windows policy in that small crimes lead to big crimes so if you let the small ones go, the big ones will be more numerous.  The drastic reduction in crime was proof that Giuliani was right and everyone else was wrong. 

                Even under Giuliani and Bloomberg, the Bronx, New York’s most northern borough, wasn’t the safest place to be but the decline was felt here more than anywhere else.  That is where Jay Vasquez-Paulino lives and he is excited because the Democrat lawmakers in New York have disallowed bail for criminals.  With this deterrent out of the way, he leaves his house was a 12 inch blade, which should have no presence in anywhere except a backwoods hike or if you’re going to spend an extended amount of time in the wilderness.  The concrete jungle of New York does not constitute a jungle that necessitates a 12-inch blade, yet Jay has one.  While walking, Jay comes upon a woman walking alone.  He smiles to himself silently thanking the feminist movement for convincing women that they don’t need men for protection.  In fact, if a guy does try to protect them, then they are misogynist pigs that are indicative of ‘toxic masculinity.’  Jay walks up to the woman and asks, “Girl, you’re looking fine tonight.  Why don’t you come over and we can have some fun.”

                The woman smiles.  This isn’t the first time she’s been cat called but and she knows how to handle it.  She shakes her head and in a consoling voice answers, “Sorry, I can’t tonight” And keeps walking.

                “Don’t walk away from me bitch.” Jay yells

                The woman tenses up and Jay takes out his machete and attacks her with it.  The woman puts her hands up defensively but the weapon is long and as she screams and struggles, people call the police but by the time they get there, she is badly hurt.  An ambulance takes the woman to the hospital while a police car takes Jay to the precinct.  After being processed, he is released with no bail back on the street while the woman is still lying in a hospital bed

 

                On the other side of the country, in Arizona, Nouno is at home with his wife Abby.  They opt to go out to dinner.  Abby says she wants tacos and Nouno and her go to a Spanish restaurant to get some tacos.  While in there, Abby and Nouno immediately can sense the tension in the air as everyone seems in a foul mood.  The tables that aren’t muttering to each other are speaking very animatedly and very loudly in Spanish.  Nouno is fluent in Spanish and gives a wry smile to Abby who is not.  Abby sighs, “Go ahead, I’m a little curious too.”

                Nouno smiles and walks over to a vociferous table and starts in Spanish, “Pardon, I don’t mean to interrupt but what happened to get people so upset?”

                “Bernie Sanders happened.”

                Nouno smiles, “Well, yea, he’s a socialist and this country should know by now that socialism is bad.”

                “It’s worse.  He praised Fidel Castro.”

                “Yes, in the 80s and he was a fan of Communist Russia too.”

                “No, not in the 80s, this week.”

                “What did he say?”

                “He was on 60 minutes saying that people need to talk about the good things Castro did like the literacy program.  Then he lied and told everyone that the reason why Cuba didn’t help America to rise up against Castro is because he gave them free health care and educated their children.”

                “That is communist propaganda.  You go after the kids and promise them security for a bit of their freedom but by the time you realize they aren’t going to deliver the security, you don’t have any freedom to do anything about it.”

                “What a bendajo”

                “Well, he just lost Florida.  There are a lot of Cubans there that fled him.  They probably know that the Cubans didn’t rise up against Castro because they were imprisoned or killed.”

                “It’s not just the Cuban exiles, it’s Latinos in general.  I mean, mostly the Cubans but I’m not Cuban and I’m pissed.”

                “He’ll apologize and everyone will forgive him.  Actually, I take that back.  Ozzie Guillen tried that as the manager of the Florida Marlins and it failed miserably.  There was nothing he could do by way of apology to make them forget what he said and he was actually a Latino.  Sanders has no shot.”

                “That’s why he’s not even trying.  He went on CNN and they brought it up again and he told everyone that truth is truth.”

                “He’s right but the ultimate truth is death and no matter how much you try to cover it up, those shallow graves will never go away.”

                “Matt Schlapp had the best statement.  He talked about how is father-in-law was in jail for 10 years and stole his property.  Castro undermines individual human rights and there shouldn’t even be a half step towards a murderous regime like Castro.”

                “I would agree.”

                Someone from another table shouted out, “It’s not even true.”

                Nouno posed, “What’s not?”

                “Before the 1959 Revolution, Cuba’s literacy rate was already 80%, which was much higher than other countries in the Caribbean.  Now, most of them have near full literacy rate and they did it without killing people that disagreed with their government.”

                “Sorry to have bothered you.  I was just curious about what was going on.  Enjoy your meal.”

                “No problem at all.”

                Nouno went back to the table and told Abby what he learned.  She was just as horrified by the news.  She added, “Even if you’re trying to find a silver lining, it’s just wrong.  Nobody talks about good things Hitler did because sane civilized people know that some pigs you never put lipstick on.”

                “Everything is make up to you.”

                Abby and Nouno finish their dinner and return home.  Nouno immediately sits down to watch the NBA and Abby multi-tasked between social media and watching the game.  She calls out, “Looks like we got a case.”

                “Oh yea.”

                “You were right, with this new law that New York passed, we may be going there a lot now.”

                “So, we’re going to New York?”

                “Yea, a guy in the Bronx attacked a woman with a  12’ bladed weapon.”

                “Is she alive?”

                “She is.”

                “Well, that’s good”

                “He won’t be soon though.”

                Nouno chuckled.  Nouno and Abby were vigilantes and they travelled the country eliminating violent criminals that the justice system was too politically correct to prosecute.  While on the plane, Abby inquires, “Who’s Kathryn Ruemmler?  Where have I heard that name before?”

                She’s about to look it up when Nouno answers, “She was Obama’s White House lawyer.  They called her ‘the fixer’ because she was involved in covering up every one of Obama’s scandals.”

                “So she’s Ray Donovan.”

                “Yes, except with a law degree and not violent…at least not that I know of but given that her job is making sure shit doesn’t go public who knows?  Maybe she has.”

                “I remember Obama being a boy’s club.  That was one of the few criticisms the media had for him.”

                “Media loves identity politics and they can’t help themselves.  They lie about everyone even the people they like.”

                “Did Obama appreciate his female lawyer?”

                “Yes, he was very outspoken about how he valued her smarts, judgment, wit and, most importantly, her uncanny ability to see the corners that nobody else anticipates.”

                “She’s a master spinster then.”

                “Yes, one of the best was the secret service scandal where they got all those hookers in Columbia.  She downplayed that and it went away fast.”

                “No, her best one was the one that not even you know about.”

                Nouno thinks about this, “You know what?  That’s probably true.”

                “I was 15 when Obama took office so I wasn’t really following politics.  Did she stay out of the news?”

                “Actually no.  She was always taking a hard line to keep memos of conversations with the president and any correspondence a secret.  She made Obama one of the most secretive presidents in American history and played the ‘executive privilege’ card constantly.”

                “Nobody got suspicious?”

                “Of course they did but when you have the media, academia and the justice department running cover, what can you do?”

                “Yea, they got all that without the presidency and there’s still nothing anyone can do.”

                “Exactly. She was also the one that told the National Security Director Susan Rice not to share intelligence with the Trump transition team.  She had Rice shred documents to keep classified information from the new president.”

                “Isn’t that illegal?”

                “Of course but how often do we talk about that Democrats are above the law?  Why did you ask anyway?”

                “She is defending the DNC against the Carter Page lawsuit about him getting targeted by the illegal FISA.  I guess she’s not going to stay out of scandals.”

                “She hasn’t stayed out.  She’s still fixing and covering for all the horrendous things the Obama administration did.  She was also George Nadar’s lawyer when he got arrested for Child Porn.”

                “I don’t know who that is.”

                “He was on the Mueller probe investigating Russian collusion.  He also set up a meeting between Erik Prince and Kirill Dimitriev in the Saychelles to set up Erik Prince.”

                “Right, the Blackwater guy that everyone accuses of being a terrorist because he had his own army.”

                “Not everyone, just libelous, treacherous, scandalous liberals.”

                “You know we’re on a plane to New York so it’s probably filled with liberals.”

                “New Yorkers are pussies, they won’t do anything.  Nothing I’m saying is false, Nadar set up Prince to make it look like he was colluding with Russia when it was Nadar’s idea that Prince should meet him.”

                “Prince already sold Blackwater by the 2016 campaign.”

                “I know but his sister is President’ Trump’s Secretary of Education.”

                “Oh, so that’s the connection.  They really went after anyone remotely related to Trump.”

                “Yes, they wanted to isolate him and punish anyone for being associated with him so he would be all alone; divide and conquer.  Now, the Mueller report takes one more hit because one of their witnesses is a pedophile.”

                “Ruemmler has been pretty busy.”

                “I’m just scratching the service.  She was implicated in the IRS targeting conservatives, the Benghazi attacks, Solyndra and for all of these things nobody was allowed to question Obama because of executive privilege.”

                “Well, keep using it till it fails.  I don’t fault her for that.”

                “Me neither but it’s not coincidental that she represents everyone that knows where the bodies are buried for Obama.”

                “Like a mafia lawyer who helps everyone in the mob get off.  Sends a message to your underlings when you’re the mob boss that you’ll take care of them so long as they keep their mouths shut.”

                “I do call the DOJ the Hillary Clinton mob.”

                “That’s why I said that.”

                “I could go on and on about Ruemmler.  She’s the one that recommended Weissman for the Mueller probe.”

                “That’s the sketchy bulldog guy right?”

                “Yes, with the reputation to intimidate witnesses and force them to say what he wanted them to say regardless if it was true or not.”

                “How did they know each other?”

                “They worked on the Enron case together.  Ruemmler told people that he was willing to take risks to secure witness testimony that other prosecutors might not.”

                “That’s a nice way to say ‘witness intimidation.’”

                “You saw right through it, I wish everyone else did too.”

                “In fairness, you did just say that.”

                “Anyway, Enron was when I was 17 but a massive financial company collapsed due to corporate fraud investigations in 2001.”

                “Then they did a good job”

                “Oh no, it was a massive failure.  A lot of people that were convicted were released because the tactics used to gather information was illegal so the judge had to throw out their convictions.  It was bad.  This is back when justice was blind and you got in trouble for withholding evidence from a court and omitting exculpatory or Brady material.”

                “Well, you’re adult home was New York and Ruemmler and Page will do battle in my adult home.”

                “Wait, the case is in Chicago?”

                “Yea, why?”

                “Ruemmler is a DC and New York lawyer.  She’s never in Illinois.  I didn’t even know she was licensed there.”

                “I’m sure she is.  Even she can’t get away with practicing in a state she didn’t pass the bar in.”

                “Although I don’t know that for sure, you’re probably right.  My only point is if she’s traveling half way across the country for this, then they’re really nervous about the case.  It’s very telling that she’s going to Chicago for this.  Of all the lawyers in Chicago, why would they need a DC or New York one?  They’re hiding something and they need someone to cover it up and there’s few better than Kathryn Ruemmler.”

                “Then the DNC made a good choice.”

                “Unfortunately, yes.”

                They land in New York and head to the Bronx.  While Nouno sound proofs the room, Abby is furiously typing away on her phone for any and all information she can get on Jay Vasquez-Paulino.  While hacking his social media presence, she finds his routine and enough information to devise a plan.  When Nouno finishes preparing the room, he sits down.  He doesn’t like when he has to tell his wife that she can’t be in the center of the action.  He never really knows how she’s going to react.  He starts, “Listen honey, I don’t think you should be there when I abduct him.”

                “How many times do we have to establish that I am very good bait.  When will you trust yourself as much as I trust you?”

                “He’s not a rapist Abby.  He didn’t try to rape the woman he attacked.  He simply attacked her with a 12’ blade.  This isn’t about flirting with him so one of us can sneak in the syringe, you’re dealing with a violent man that thinks of maiming before sex.”

                Abby takes a deep breath.  “Maybe, I overreacted.  You’re right this is a little different.  Fine, I won’t be on the street but I want to be in the car in case he’s a better blade wielder than you.”

                Nouno brought his own Kukri, which was about 12” as well.  He also carried a three inch spring-assisted blade for stealth purposes.  The number one rule in weapons fighting is not to let your opponent know you have a weapon until after you’ve attacked him with it.  It’s hard to conceal a Kukri but very easy to conceal a three inch blade.  Nouno inquired, “So, what’s the plan?”

                “Follow the bait.”

                “What does that mean?”

                “He’s been reaching out to this girl and she is playing hard to get.  Based on his comments to his friends, he’s not too happy about it.  I know where she’s going to be so let’s follow her.  The one good thing about this new no bail law in New York is criminals don’t feel the need to be secretive so he’ll do it out in the open.  We’re going to wear masks because it’s not going to be secluded.”

                “I’ll get fake plates from my cousin in Jersey.”

                “Yea, we know he doesn’t fold under pressure because he’s been questioned before with our New York jobs.”

                “I’d still rather not have to use him.  It gets suspicious if it’s always his plates.”

                “Well, it was only once.”

                Nouno calls his cousin and gets the dealer temporary plates.  He puts them on the rental car and they tail the girl.  She is in a park and Nouno gets out of the car and walks in the park to make it seem like he was just an innocent bystander that decided to help a damsel in distress.  Just when he didn’t think it was going to work, Jay showed up and used another pick up line on the girl.  She rolled her eyes and walked the other direction.  Nouno saw Jay’s face contort in rage and immediately started moving towards them taking his kukri out of his jacket.  Jay called out ‘Puta’ and swung the machete but Nouno got there in time to intercept Jay’s blade with his.  Nouno called out in English, “that’s a female asshole.”

                Jay turned toward Nouno and applied pressure on the blade.  Nouno positioned himself in front of him and leaned in.   As Jay and Nouno stood eye to eye, Nouno used his left hand to drive a syringe into the bottom of Jay’s jaw.  The machete fell and Nouno put his Kukri away and caught Jay as he fell forward.  He took a glance behind him and realized the woman had run off, which is what Nouno wanted her to do.  He dragged Jay to the car and threw him in the back as he hurried into the passenger seat and Abby drove off.  There weren’t many people around but it still made them nervous.  This area of the Bronx, however, wasn’t too keen on talking to cops and they had kept their masks on. 

                Jay wakes up restrained to the bed in plastic.  He’s disoriented but he barks orders to release him.  Nouno stands over him without the mask and replies, “no.” nonchalantly.

                Jay rambles off obscenities in Spanish and then asks in English, “Why am I here?”

                Nouno responds in Spanish, “The police won’t punish you for attacking women with machetes so I will.”

                Jay looks at Nouno and sees that he’s white.  He looks confused and poses, “Are you Cuban?”

                “No, Greek” continuing with the Spanish, “This is New York and in New York everyone speaks Spanish.”

                “I’m sure you think I’m some illegal immigrant who doesn’t care about this country but I watch the news.”

                “That isn’t why I brought you here.”

                “You’re Greek right?  Okay, did you hear about Papadopoulos?”

                “He’s running for congress.”

                “Well, I didn’t know that but I mean that they just declassified documents.  There are FBI memos that the government hid that proves Papadopoulos didn’t lie to the FBI.  They arrested him for nothing.”

                “He was already sentenced and served his jail time.”

                “I know, it’s messed up.”

                “I know because Mifsud was never a Russian agent.  His ties were to Western Intelligence”

                “And the media just said he wasn’t an FBI spy”

                “Nobody said he was though so that was a false representation of what Trump supporters told everyone.”

                “Yea, but that’s old shit.  The point is he was arrested for lying to the FBI about the date he met Mifsud.  The FBI claimed it stopped them from being able to track him down and arrest him while he was in the US.”

                “Which is bullshit because he visited Capitol Hill after that meeting and the FBI did nothing.”

                “It’s worse than that.  The FBI 302 revealed that Papadopoulos told them that he was willing to help them locate Mifsud personally.  This was before February 10, 2017 and the date Mifsud left the US was February 11.  As early as February 1, Papadopoulos said he would help them because he was scheduled to meet with Mifsud again.  The FBI ignored him and left that out in the arrest warrant.”

                “They completed their set up by ignoring the tip.”

                “That’s right.  Papadopoulos even told them how Mifsud reached out to him and may be traveling to DC in February, which he did.  Still, the FBI did nothing just so they could prosecute Papadopoulos.”

                Nouno switched to English, “Fucking jackasses.”

                Abby blurted out, “What’s going on?”

                Nouno explained it to her and Abby queried, “Who are the prosecutors?”

                Nouno smiled because he knew why she was asking.  She was wondering if Weissman or Ruemmler was behind this.  To Nouno’s surprise, Jay knew.  He uttered, “Aaron Zelinsky and Jeanie Rhea.”

                Abby looked at Nouno and saw his face light up, “You’re shitting me! Rhea was on the Mueller probe.  I guess that makes sense because Papadopoulos was arrested as part of the Mueller investigation.  Aaron Zelinsky though.  That’s classic.”

                It was Jay’s turn to be confused as he remarked, “I don’t really know him.”

                “He’s the asshole that through a hissy fit because Stone only got 40 months in prison when he wanted 7-9 years.”

                “The dude that resigned because he didn’t get his way?”

                “Same guy.”

                “Yea, so those two are the ones that signed the arrest warrant as being authentic knowing that it left all that Brady material out.”

                “In normal times, they would at least get disbarred for that.  Today, nothing will happen though.”

                “Yea, it’s a fucked up world now.  These corrupt FBI and DOJ people are above the law and never get prosecuted for shit.”

                “Yea, and people that attack women with machetes don’t face any jail time either.”

                Jay’s face turned to horror as his bubble of thinking he was forming a connection with Nouno was over.  Before he could say anything else, Nouno drove his three inch knife into Jay’s chest killing him instantly.  Nouno and Abby wrap the body and load it back into the car.  They drive to a crematorium and break in activating the machine and loading it with Jay’s carcass.  They leave and drive to the upper west side and go to Tom’s restaurant.  As they are walking up, Nouno turns to Abby who has no reaction.  He exclaims, “You don’t recognize it?”

                “Recognize what?”

                “The restaurant.”

                “No, should I?”

                “Seinfeld”

                “You do realize I was born right around the time Seinfeld ended right?”

                Nouno’s shoulders sagged.  He walked into the diner, which is just like any other Greek diner.  The inside isn’t even the same as the inside of the Seinfeld diner as they only used the outside but the inside was a set.  As Nouno is pouting, Abby is playfully smiling.  She didn’t think their nine year age difference meant anything now that she was 26 and him 35 but Nouno was always bothered when something happened to remind him.  Rather than console him, Abby wanted to double down.  She declared, “Well, if you’re not going to talk, I’m just going to see what your favorite newspaper the New York Times is saying.”

                “The Treason Times you mean.”

                “Oh look, a new Maggie Haberman piece.”

                “Oh come on, that lying whore. She’s still pushing the Russian collusion hoax.”

                “Well, now she’s attacking Ginni Thomas.  Who is that anyway?”

                “Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’ wife.”

                “Oh, alright.  Well apparently she’s making recommendations on who the White House should hire to positions.  Haberman is saying that White House officials are upset that a SCOTUS wife would be making recommendations.”

                “There she goes again with anonymous sources.  In reality, the only White House personnel that thinks that are the Obama holdovers.  Actually, fuck that, she probably just made it up and the only people that have a problem with it is her and a couple other people at the New York Times. I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody in the White House said that and she just made it up.”

                “Maybe she’s a good journalist.”

                “No she’s not.  Even John Podesta said he had a great relationship with her because he could tee up stories for her and they’ve never been disappointed.”

                “Who is John Podesta?”

                “Bill Clinton’s chief of staff and very involved in the Clinton foundation and all things Clinton.”

                “Maybe he just means that she never misquoted them.”

                “Doubtful”

                This ploy worked as it broke the ice and Abby and Nouno had a more lighthearted conversation until it was time to go back to clean up after themselves.  This was always the most nerve wrecking part but it had to be done.  They broke back into the crematorium and disposed of the ash and bones in the proper way.  Afterward, the drove back to the hotel and cleaned up the room of its sound proofing throwing everything away in a dumpster not near the hotel.   Now, it was time to sleep. 

                The next day, they were back on a plane to Arizona.  Nouno was looking at news and he articulated, “Whoa, Phil Haney died.”

                “Who’s that?”

                “He was a whistleblower for the DHS and he was outspoken at how bad homeland was at handling terrorist threats.  He was upset because he was forced to destroy evidence of terrorists that were tied to Islam or Muslim countries because we had to be politically correct and sympathetic to the Muslims in America.”

                “That’s just ridiculous.  How did he die?’

                “A shotgun wound to the chest.”

                “Wait, what?  Someone shot him?”

                “Funny you say that, because the mainstream media claims it was a suicide but the cops on the scene have refuted that saying it hasn’t been determined a suicide yet.”

                “That’s a little suspicious”

                “That a guy that was told to scrub any reference to Islam or Muslims in terrorist activities under Obama is suddenly found dead?  I would say that’s a lot suspicious.  I should’ve never mentioned John Podesta.  Just eliciting a close Clinton tie makes the universe go into the classic Clinton tactic of killing your political opponents.”

                “Wouldn’t it be Obama’s political opponent?”

                “Same thing.”

                “Only you think that?”

                “Hillary was Obama’s Secretary of State.”

                “Obama never killed anyone.”

                “I don’t believe that.”

                “You’ve never accused him of killing anyone.”

                “Ruemmler probably covered it up.”

                “Oh come on!”

                Nouno laughed, which generated a smile from Abby.  They changed the subject and when the plane landed back in Arizona, they went home to decompress.  This time, nobody made the plates so Nouno’s cousin wasn’t questioned.  Despite it being done in a park, there was never a whisper about Jay’s death let alone the circumstances that caused it.