Nouno the Vigilante Episode 41 Escalating After Grabbing Bottom

                In Delaware, Juan Carlos Hernandez is relaxing on the beach.  As he feels himself getting hot, he dives into the ocean to cool down.  While swimming, he comes across a little girl.  He asks, “Hi, what’s your name?”

                “Lindsey”

                “Hi Lindsey, I’m Juan”

                “Nice to meet you.”

                “Nice to meet you too.  You are very cute.”

                Lindsey smiled, “Thanks mister.”

                The conversation didn’t go on much longer as a beach is a public place with a lot of eyes that may think it odd that an adult male is talking to a young girl.

 

                Six-year-old Lindsey gets out from swimming and goes back to dry off.  She tells her mom that her hair is knotted up and her mom explains, “Well, I told you to put it in a flip but you refused.”

                “Just fix it.”

                “I’ll fix it when we get back home.”

                When Lindsey and her mom leave the beach, they do so at the same time as a couple people so don’t really take inventory of the people around them.  As they got in the car and drive off, Lindsey’s mom doesn’t realize she’s being followed as she multi-tasks between Lindsey’s non-stop talking and driving.

                Juan Carlos always kept an eye on little Lindsey while she was on the beach.  When they left, he did as well getting in his car and following them trying to keep enough of a distance that they wouldn’t lose him with a red light or a turn but not to make it too obvious that he was following them.  When he watched the car pull into a driveway, he made a note of the address and drove past and back to his house.  He frequently scoped out the house waiting for a chance to see Lindsey and he finally did when she was out riding her bike.  He pulled up a little in front of her and opened the passenger side door.  When Lindsey got to him, he snatched her from her bike and threw her in the car slamming the door and letting the child lock keep her in.  He hurried into the driver seat and took off.  The abduction happened in seconds as a six-year-old can’t do much against a full grown adult male. 

                The moment Lindsey got in the car, she screamed but when the man yelled at her to shut up, she obeyed.  She started crying but the man didn’t seem to care as he kept driving.  They arrived in a secluded area and Juan Carlos stopped the car.  When dealing with a small child, a stern commanding voice is sometimes all you need to make them do anything you wanted.  Unfortunately, this was no exception as Juan Carlos ordered her to remove her clothes and not resist as he lubed her up and forced himself into her.  No amount of lubrication was going to change the fact that her orifices were not yet developed to be receiving things entering and there was a lot of blood but Juan Carlos was not deterred in the slightest.  When he was done with her, he poured water over the areas he ravaged and drove off.  Fortunately for Lindsey, it wasn’t as secluded as he thought as someone did discover her in time to get her to a hospital and save her life.

                When Juan Carlos saw the story on the news, although they withheld the name of the victim, he knew what they were talking about.  The only thing he heard was the victim survived.  With this news, Juan Carlos packed some things and headed south ending up in Beaufort County, South Carolina where he could start fresh. 

 

                Across the country, in Arizona, Abby and her husband Nouno were binge watching a show that they were three seasons behind on.  As they did this, Abby, like most 26-year-olds, was furiously texting and posting on social media as she watched.  This drove her husband crazy but she had consistently proved that she could multi-task so bit his tongue.  Instead, he decided to indirectly address it by bringing up Spygate.  He inquired, “Did you hear that Alan Dershowitz says he has proof that Soros paid Obama to investigate someone?”

                “There’s nothing wrong with asking”

                “No, Obama did it.  He used the DOJ to investigate someone because Soros paid him to do it.  He’s being a whistleblower about it.  Only Dershowitz has the balls to put his name behind it.”

                “Obama is also no longer the most powerful man in the world.”

                “That is true.”

                “I’m so sick of Soros.  He’s like the conservative boogey man.  Don’t you ever stop to think that one man can’t be involved in every single liberal protest or event?”

                “I have thought of that but when there’s a paper trail, it’s hard to miss.”

                “Paper trails can be faked.  This is just a battle of the billionaires.  Trump is pissed because Soros makes more money than he does so he has to attack him.”

                “Conservatives attacked Soros way before Donald Trump was president.”

                “I agree but I’m just saying why it’s coming up now.”

                “What is it with people and thinking everything is just ‘because they’re jealous.’”

                “They are!  That’s why you all hate Bloomberg too because he makes way more money than Trump.”

                “The difference between the two is Bloomberg’s billionaire status is a liability for him but it’s an asset for Trump.”

                “You don’t find that hypocritical?”

                “Not at all.  Trump is a Queens guy….”

                “Oh, don’t give me that speech again!”  Abby took on a mocking tone, “The Manhattan kids were rich so had all the connections to help them out, the Brooklyn and Bronx kids got street cred just because of where they lived but the Queens kids had to earn their respect so they had to talk louder, fight harder and be more hyperbolic.”

                “It’s true.  When I lived in Brooklyn, I’d walk into a bar and when a conversation got heated, I’d be like ‘I’m from Brooklyn bitch, back the fuck up.’ And they would.”

                “But you were really from Cleveland, Ohio.”

                “I lived in Brooklyn at the time.”

                “You are also 6’0” 225 pounds.  You’re not a small guy so maybe they just don’t want to fight you because of your size.”

                “First off, 6’0” is not that tall for a guy.  Second of all, when I lived in Brooklyn, I was 160 pounds so much less physically intimidating.”

                “That doesn’t give Trump a pass for his hyperbole and brashness.”

                “You just don’t understand because you never lived in New York.”

                “That’s not fair.”

                “It really is.”

                “Trump has been like the rich Manhattan kids for a lot longer than he was a Queens guy at this point.  He needs to break the habit then.”

                “You can take the boy out of Queens but you can’t take Queens out of the boy.”

                Abby groans, “I still don’t know how that makes billionaire Trump more endearing than billionaire Bloomberg.”

                “Oh right, that was the topic.  Trump made his money through real estate.  That means he had to deal with blue collar, union working guys.  First off, his brashness is closer to how normal people speak.  Besides that, he knows how to deal with middle and lower class because that’s who was working for him on the job sites and stuff.  Bloomberg, on the other hand, worked in finance.  Everyone that worked for him was white collar, cubicle sitting office types.  He didn’t need to deal with blue collar people so that’s why he doesn’t know how to talk to or relate to them.  That’s why he goes around saying farming is as easy as burying a seed in dirt and sitting back and watching it grow.  Bloomberg deals with men who get manicures whereas Trump deals with men who don’t know what a manicure is.”

“You’re making Bloomberg out to be a snob that sticks up his nose to people.”

“That’s because he is.  Trump makes everyone feel important and heard.  He knows how to

relate to people.  Just watch any of his speeches. He almost always pulls some random person on stage and gives up the microphone.  You’ll never see Bloomberg do that.” 

                “Didn’t Bloomberg take the subway?”

                “As a publicity stunt.”

                “Didn’t you work for him?”

                “Yes, and I never met him, which proves my point.  He was too good to meet his little college summer interns that walked out in the scorching New York summers to gather signatures and canvass.  As far as I know, Bloomberg is the only politician that never met his summer interns.  Most have a dinner at the end of the summer to meet the candidate.  We got invited to the victory party, but they kept him away from us.”

                “Ah, so your problems with him are more personal than professional.”

                “Yes, there is a little bit of personal animus but that doesn’t mean everything I’m saying is wrong.”

                “I don’t know about that.  Anyway, we have a case.”

                “Where to?”

                “South Carolina though his crime happened in Delaware.”

                “Oh, alright.”

                “This one is my specialty as I do the dirty work that you’re not willing to do.”

                Nouno took a deep breath.  He knew what she meant but that didn’t make him any more comfortable with it.  Conceptually, he had no problem with it but watching it grossed him out. 

                Abby booked the flight and when the time came, they were on the plane across the country.  While flying, Abby poses, “What stops this Dershowitz from being just a he says he says with Obama?”

                “He has a 302 of Obama asking him to investigate.”

                “What’s a 302 again?”

                “FBI notes on an interview or conversation they conducted or were party to.”

                  “Right, I’m guessing since it’s Soros and you don’t really talk about his work in Georgia or with the caravans much so this is Ukraine.”

                “Yup, back to the good old ‘do not prosecute’ list that the US embassy in Kiev gave to Lutsenko after he replaced the prosecutor general that Biden got fired.”

                “Shokin, right.”

                “In addition to the ‘do not prosecute’ list, there was a ‘prosecute list’ too.”

                “So, basically, the US Embassy became the new Prosecutor General of Ukraine.”

                “Yes.”

                “Any proof?”

                “Did you watch the impeachment hearings?  The Charge D’Affair at the time, George Kent, testified that he wrote a letter to Lutsenko telling him not to investigate AnTAC, which is funded by George Soros’ Open Society foundation.”

                “That’s a courtesy to Ukraine so they know who the Americans helping to end their corruption are.  It’s very common to do that.  It’s kind of like when the FBI and CIA tell local law enforcement that they’re doing a mission so there’s no crossfire.”

                “It’s a power play.”

                “Says you.  I don’t want to talk about this.”

                “You brought it up.”

                “Fine, now I’m ending it.”

                “Fine”

                They land in South Carolina and canvas the area for hotels and semi-secluded crematoriums.  After they did that, Abby took out her laptop and furiously typed alternating between her phone and her computer to find out as much as she could about Juan Carlos Hernandez and where he liked to hang out.  It didn’t take long for Abby to come up with a plan.  She announced, “We’re going Salsa dancing.”

                Nouno and Abby were both Greek but Nouno was fluent in Spanish and knew how to dance Salsa, Meringue and Bachata in order not to make a fool of himself.  Abby, on the other hand, being a former cheer leader and dancer could rival most Latinas.  She had the hardware as well so she dressed herself up and headed out with Nouno. They go to the club and Abby immediately starts dancing with Nouno who quickly bows out to get drinks the moment they spot Juan Carlos.  Abby dances with a couple guys for a couple songs and then politely declines them claiming to be tired but picking up very quickly afterwards.  Finally, Juan Carlos approaches her and asserts, “Hey Mamacita, you’re pretty blanca to be in here.”

                Abby smiles, “What’s a matter, you don’t think you can handle a gringa?”

                “Oh no, I’m not sure if you got what it takes to handle me.”

                “Talk is cheap”

                Juan Carlos grabs her and they begin dancing.  The first one is a bachata, which is slower so it is more difficult for Abby to grab the syringe from the inseam of her dress.  Soon, the bachata turns into a Salsa; much quicker and much more twirls for the guy and the girl.  Also, during Salsa, the woman’s hand is not always intertwined with the man’s or on his shoulder but on the back of his neck as it’s much more intimate than a regular dance.  As Abby turns, she turns Juan Carlos as well and when his back is turned, she drops her right hand and takes out the syringe and hides it along her arm.  Predictable, Juan grabs her wrist and pulls it toward his neck as his other hand wraps around her and grabs her round shapely butt.  No matter how many times they do this sting operation, Nouno gets enraged when he sees another man grab Abby’s ass but then he reminds himself of what’s coming next.  He makes his way through the crowd as Abby drives the syringe into Juan Carlos’ brainstem collapsing him forward.  Nouno comes from behind and leans against Abby to support Juan Carlos’ dead weight from being rendered unconscious from the sedative.  Nouno then wraps Juan Carlos’ arm over his shoulder and smiles pretending to be helping an old friend that’s drunk to his car.  Nouno and Abby place him in their car and drive off. 

                As they drive in silence, Abby looks over at her husband and sighs.  “Don’t worry my ass will always belong to you babe.”

                Nouno smiles, “Yea, but unfortunately I have to loan it out every now and then.”

                “Yes, but unlike most boys, you get to kill the guy that grabbed my ass.”

                “Not today”

                “Well, fine, the guy that grabbed my ass is still going to die today.”

                “True”

                “You, however, get to grab my ass and live to tell the tale.”

                Juan Carlos wakes up to find himself strapped to a table.  He’s disoriented as Nouno barks in Spanish, “Hey, I bet that when you snuck into this country, you didn’t think you’d be killed by a girl did you?”

                Juan Carlos spoke in accented English, “I didn’t sneak in; I’m an American.”

                Nouno doubted the story based on the accent but remembered that he actually didn’t know if he was or wasn’t.  He reasoned, however, that he had to keep it going, “Don’t bullshit me.  If you’re an American, tell me something to prove that you’ve assimilated.  Don’t tell me who the president is because everyone in the world knows that.”

                “I’m pretty sure I know more about the news than you do Gringo.  Do you know who Karen Greenaway is?”

                Nouno jumps back as his eyes widen.  That was a nuanced point but he knew the answer, “She was an FBI supervisor in charge of international fraud in the Manafort case that was based on the Black ledger.”

                “Which was a hoax.”

                “Yes, Alexandra Chalupa was either duped or she conspired to have it made to bring it to the United States and congress to try to take down President Trump.”

                “I didn’t think of it that way but she may have done that.  I wouldn’t put it past her.”

                “Did you know that Greenaway and Ambassador Yovanovich met together with AnTAC executive director Daria Kaleniuk.”

                “Well, I figured there was some connection because Greenaway eventually reigned from the FBI and joined AnTAC.”

                “It’s a little coincidental that Daria Kaleniuk just happened to be invited to the White House by Eric Ciaramella on December 8, 2016.”

                “Hmmm, a month after the election when Obama was still a lame duck, the man who would later become the whistleblower that ends up leading to the impeachment of Donald Trump is meeting with a Ukrainian anti-corruption executive at a Ukrainian firm that George Soros, Obama ally and billionaire mega-liberal donor, George Soros.  That’s not suspicious at all.”

                “Of course not.  This is when Dershowitz is told by Obama to prosecute someone on Soros’ behalf.”

                “Yea, the papers wouldn’t reveal it but it’s obviously Dmitri Firtash.”

                “Yea, that is Soros’ main business rival in Ukraine.  He also was enemies with Glenn Simpson who didn’t paint him in too good a light when he wrote about him in his April 19, 2007 article ‘How Lobbyists use Ex-Soviets to Woo Washington.’”

                “This one I don’t know.”

                “Simpson was interested in Firtash’s billion dollar deals with Gazprom and other deals with Ukrainian energy companies.”

                “That competed with Burisma, who employed Hunter Biden on their board.”

                “Bingo”

                “Now, here’s the million dollar question; why am I tied to a bed of plastic?”

                Abby replied, “I can answer that.”

                Juan Carlos looked over at Abby and gave her a perplexed look, “Wait, you’re the chic I was dancing with at the club.”

                “Yea, I’m married to him and he wasn’t too happy with you grabbing my ass.”

                “Whoa whoa whoa, dude, I didn’t know she was your girl.  I meant no disrespect.”

                Nouno backed off and sat down as Abby took his place standing over Juan Carlos.  She uttered, “Oh, don’t worry.  He knows you’re not a threat.  After all, I’m too old for you.”

                Juan Carlos looked Abby up and down and she didn’t seem like a teenager but it was hard to tell nowadays.  “How would you know?”

                “You like fucking six year olds.  I know I look young but I certainly don’t look six.”

                A darkness covered Juan Carlos’ face, “What the fuck are you talking about?  That’s disgusting.”

                “Oh really?  Does a Lindsey in Delaware ring any bells?”

                “Look, you got the wrong guy; I swear.”

                “You are Juan Carlos Hernandez right?”

                “Yes, but ‘Juan Carlos’ is a very common first name in my culture.  Hernandez is an even more common last name.  There are a lot of us.”

                “Not too many that lived in Delaware and then moved to South Carolina” Abby took out her phone and showed him pictures from his social media in Delaware and on the beach.  She then takes out his phone and points it at Juan Carlos as his face unlocked it.  She scrolls through the pictures and shows him pictures of Lindsey.

                Juan Carlos closes his eyes and pleads, “I need help.  I swear, I’ll get help.”

                “Allow me” Abby countered as she grabbed scissors and cut his pants off him including his boxers.  She put on a pair of gloves and grabbed Juan Carlos scrotum and penis in her hand and squeezed as hard as she could with her left hand as he screamed.  She pulled on his genitals and brought her right hand that was holding a butcher knife and slashed at his groin.  It took a few whacks but she got his genitals removed from his body.  She taunted, “This is what we do to child rapists.”

                “You fucking bi...”

                Juan Carlos couldn’t finish because Abby shoved his genitals in his mouth.  She took a strand from his pants and placed it in his mouth wrapped it around his head and tied it in place.  She then plugged his nose and watched as he squirmed to no avail since the plastic kept him near immobilized.  Soon, his eyes glazed over and his body went still as an odor protruded from him that could only mean one thing.

                Abby let go of his nose and they set to work wrapping the body and transporting it to the car to bring to the crematorium, which they would need to break into.  They do so and run the machine and then leave going to a diner nearby.  To get her mind off it, Abby inquired, “Did you see President Obama tweet that eleven years ago; he signed the stimulus package that led to the greatest growth period in American history?”

                “Wow, that dumbass is still taking credit for the good economy.  After eight years of him blaming Bush, now he’s taking credit; unbelievable.”

                “It is consistent but by his logic, no president can ever take credit for the economy under their administration.  I heard it takes seven years for a president’s policy to take effect.”

                “That’s bullshit.”

                “Compelling argument” Abby rejoined sarcastically.

                “If what you’re saying is true, then why were Obama’s estimates about what the stimulus package would do so wrong?”

                “I’m not an econ dork like you.  I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

                “Obama predicted that the stimulus would stop the unemployment rate from getting over 8%.  In actuality, it got up to 10% after the Stimulus package he’s bragging about now.”

                “Well, maybe more people were coming into the market.  You always tell me that the unemployment rate doesn’t mean anything because it’s only people looking for work so doesn’t include people that gave up and stopped working or just retired.”

                “So the number that included the underemployed or people who don’t have a job and aren’t working, is called the Real unemployment rate.”

                “Fine, it has a name.”

                “Yes, and we can look at it.  It shows that the stimulus package led to 9.9 million people getting jobs.”

                “See, that’s a lot of jobs filled.”

                “But alas, what else do I always tell you about numbers and statistics?”

                Abby lowered her head, “They mean nothing unless you’re comparing them to something”

                “There you go young grasshopper.  Now let’s compare it to the people who left the labor force shall we?  Do you know what that number is?”

                “Nobody just has these numbers off the top of their head.”

                “I do”

                “Fine, what is it?”

                “14.6 Milion.”

                “They didn’t call it the baby boomer generation for nothing.  Now, they’re all retiring.”

                “Yea, that may be a legitimate point if the group of employed people over 65 didn’t increase after the Stimulus but it did.”

                “Yea but the people in that group were replaced by people who were 58-64 when Obama took office.”

                “You’re making my point for me.  More people are replacing the retiring people so therefore, it’s not a baby boom problem because they younger class is still outnumbering them.”

                “Oh, yea I see your point. The point is that we were growing.”

                “No, that’s not the point.  We always grow after a recession.  That was the worst collapse since the great depression; of course there’s going to be growth.  I mean, yes it could always get worse but eventually you do hit rock bottom and start rebounding just how growth isn’t forever.  You can’t claim victory because it went up; you have to look at degree.”

                “Or how much job growth you had.”

                “Yes”

                “So how much job growth did Obama have during his tenure?”

                “Well, let’s see what Forbes has to say.”

                “Lets”

                Nouno pulls it up on his phone and reads, “The Obama recovery in the last seven years was the worst in postwar American history.  Average GDP growth since bottom of recession in 2009 was 2.1% a year.  The average during a recovery is 4.9% per the last 10 expansions.”

                “Trump isn’t at 4.9%.  He’s below 3%”

                “It’s harder to sustain growth after a growth period.  There’s been a growth period for seven years when Trump took over.”

                “Winners don’t make excuses.”

                “You’re right and his numbers are better than Obama’s despite Obama having a seven year growth head start. So against worse odds, President Trump outperformed Obama.  That’s what we call winning.”

                “Like you said though, there is less slack now and less of a pool to draw from so it should slow down.”

                “Yet right now growth is at a nine year high despite that.”

                “It’s not 3%”

                “Yes, it isn’t however Obama’s economists predicted in October 2016 that GDP growth would be between 1.5 – 1.75% per year.  They decided that 1.6% was the goal.  President Trump is a full percentage point above that.  That’s destroying expectations.”

                “There you go again with Obama and all his economists’ predictions being wrong.”

                “Yes, and I will continue repeating it so long as he and you continue to spout these lies.”

                “I still like my baby boomer story.”

                “Do you think Baby Boomers are older now or when Obama was president?”

                “Obviously now.”

                “Then how come baby boomers aren’t stopping Trump’s underemployment numbers but they soared under Obama?  Life expectancy is longer so you can’t use that excuse.”

                “I don’t know, maybe a significant number of them have already retired so there’s less left.  We’ve reached the tipping point.”

                “Well, the underemployed is going down so with that theory, more would have to be dying than retiring.”

                “Maybe.”

                “Really?”

                “I said I don’t know.  Nouno, STOP! We need to go anyway to finish up.”

                Nouno and Abby go to their car and go to the crematorium to discard the ashes and bones as they don’t burn.  They clean the machine and leave it just as they found it so nobody would know they were there.  After the return to the hotel, they clean the room discarding all the left over plastic and then getting some much needed sleep. 

                The next day, they flew back to Arizona.  When they get home, Abby articulates, “Thank you for not giving me a speech about how I touched another man’s penis.”

                “You had gloves on.”

                “It was also not sexual; it was very much physically harming.”

                “I know, you Lorena Bobbitted him.”

                “Who?”

                Nouno slouched his shoulders and sighed.  He forgot how their nine year age difference led to references that Abby wouldn’t get because she was too young.  He shook his head and muttered, “Never mind.”

                They quickly got back in their routine.  Although no case made them feel guilty, they did have a certain joy and sense of purpose when they eliminated child rapists from the realm of the living. 

 

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