Fanis the Bodyguard Episode 39 New administration making amends

                Fanis is sitting in his cousin and employers flat in London, England frowning at the TV.  Mike Bloomberg is beginning to get a lot of popularity to challenge Donald Trump for the presidency in November.  Fanis and his cousin Kera are both from New York.  In 2005, when Bloomberg was a Republicans mayor of New York, Fanis worked on his campaign during the summer between his junior and senior year of college.  The conflict he had was that although he thought that Bloomberg would do a good job as the president should be a businessman and know how to budget, he had trouble putting aside his personal animus for Bloomberg.  When he worked for him, after doing a job that legally only Republicans could do, the Bloomberg campaign hired a bunch of Democrat students and immediately promoted them over the Republicans.  Unlike most interns, Fanis and his group of Republicans soliciting signatures and then canvassing never got to meet the mayor.  They were able to go to the victory party but the only people allowed on stage were minorities as they wanted to make it seem like Mayor Bloomberg was supported by a group just as diverse as New York is.  Kera interrupted his thought process, “What are you staring at so intently?”

                “Bloomberg”

“Ah, still pissed that you got discriminated for being white?”

                “It was all bullshit.  We would make signs for rallies that said ‘Latinos for Bloomberg.’  Not one Latino worked on that sign.  In fact, someone had the idea to write signs in Spanish and I had to call my Dominican friend to tell us how to say it in Spanish.  There were no translator apps back then and the Google translate was unreliable.”

                “I’m sure that happens in a lot of campaigns.”

                “I couldn’t tell you.  That was the only one I worked on but it bothered me when girls would show up and on their first day they would seduce the supervisors and get promoted the next day.”

                “You would have done it too if you could.”

                “The Republican girls in my group refused.”

                “Did they have the goods?”

                “One did, yes.”

                “So then one turned it down.”

                “Yea, and they punished her by sending her to dangerous neighborhoods.  It’s amazing that girl never had anything happen to her except having a dog attack her.”

                “Any problem you have that’s not personal?”

                “He can’t relate to people.  That’s why he says the shit he does.  He attacked farmers by saying that they have no intelligence and it’s not hard to just throw a seed down and cover it in dirt as if that’s all there is to it.”

                “Are you telling me it’s more complicated than that?”

                “Yes”

                “Look, I know that I make fun of Cleveland where you grew up but your dad’s a doctor; What do you know about farming?”

                “Enough to know that it’s not as easy as just throwing seeds and putting dirt on them.  I know they wake up at like 4:30AM and work all day plowing and tilling the fields and working all day to make sure they have a product.  They have a lot of equipment and it’s tough work.”

                “He’s just reverse virtue signaling.  City slickers love attacks on middle America.”

                “Do you city slickers love talks about how the way to deal with black neighborhoods is to throw the kids against the wall and be stern with them to let them know you mean business? I only ask because that’s what Bloomberg said.  Is that reverse virtue signaling?”

                “No, city people don’t like that.  We take pride in our diversity and getting along with multiple cultures; especially in New York.”

                “Please, liberals are so hypocritical.  How do you support Bernie Sanders and Mike Bloomberg?  Sanders has been very outspoken that accumulating wealth makes someone evil and if you’re a billionaire, then you’re an evil person.  Then you have Bloomberg who is a billionaire.  Either you can’t run as a Democrat if you’re a billionaire because you’re party hates people who accumulate a lot of wealth or you can’t run if you hold that value.  You can’t have both.”

                “Seems like the Democrats do.”

                “That’s because they don’t stand for anything.  Right now, the only objective moral they have is to be against anything and everything Donald Trump does and support anyone that doesn’t agree with him regardless of the issue.

                “Now, that’s a campaign slogan.”

                Fanis chuckled.  “Little long don’t you think?”

                “I’m sure we can get one of those Latinos that support him to shorten it up.  Anyway, the reason I came here is we got to go.”

                “Where to now?”

                “Barcelona.”

                “Good old Catalun country.”

                “Yea, short flight too.”

                Kera and Fanis go to the air strip and get on the plane and take the short flight to Barcelona.   On the plane, Kera asks, “Who would you rather have; Bloomberg or Sanders?”

                “Bloomberg, that’s not even a question.”

                “Well you said in 2016 before you became a Trump supporter that if it was Trump vs. Sanders, you didn’t know who was worse.”

                “Well, that’s when I thought Trump would take unnecessary risks with the finances of the country.  I think Bloomberg is fiscally more responsible than Donald Trump.  Sanders is a socialist and socialism has led to the deaths of hundreds of millions of people so there’s no reason to believe that we will be an exception.”

                “That’s dictatorship and tyrants.  He’s more Scandinavian socialism.”

                “How many times do I have to explain to you that Scandinavia has lower corporate tax rates than the United States?  This is even after the Trump tax cuts.  They tax the shit out of individuals but let businesses do what they want.  That’s why it works.  It’s not socialism.  Even the prime ministers of those countries hate Bernie for calling it socialism.  Besides, he supported Russia before the collapse.  Venezuela too but I actually have the video of Russia.”

                Fanis shows her a video of a much younger looking Bernie Sanders talking admiringly about his trip to the Soviet Union and how great the public transportation was and that he went to theaters that had three stages and ornate chandeliers but the most expensive tickets were a dollar fifty.  When he started talking about the puppet shows he watched, Kera giggled hysterically.  She exclaimed, “Forget the gulags and the political prisoners and executions, we got puppet shows!”

                Fanis laughed and piled on, “Sure in Russia if someone accuses you of being a dissenter or anti-communist, you were sent to the gulags to be huddled in so close that when you slept on the concrete floor, you all have to move at the same time because there wasn’t enough room for someone to reposition as needed but our subways are clean.”

                “He attacks rich people but isn’t he rich?”

                “Yea, Forbes says he amassed $2.5 million from real estate investments but he also gets a government pension and has three successful books.  The only problem is, his books are bought in bulk with campaign finance money so basically, if you donate to Bernie Sanders, he’s using the money to buy his books so he can pocket it.”
                “It’s hard to tell what money is his and what’s the campaign’s.”

                “Actually that’s very easy and politicians who don’t do it normally get charged and reprimanded for it but in this climate, you’re above the law if you oppose Donald Trump.”

                They land in Barcelona and go drop their stuff off at the hotel and go out to have empanadas and Tapas.  Afterwards, Fanis leads them through a sketchy area and nondescript roads and through a building that opens up into what looks like an alley. If Kera didn’t know that she travelled with someone that probably should have to register himself as a lethal weapon, she may have turned back a while ago.  Fanis was her bodyguard so she had to think he wouldn’t steer her to danger and if he did, he’d get her out.  As they walk into a door, it opens up to a breathtaking bar with gold plated walls and furniture to match the ostentatious aura.  Given the route they came here, Kera would never have guessed a bar this nice would exist here.  Fanis was speaking Spanish with everyone he came across, which helped ingratiate them to the patrons as this was not supposed to be a tourist bar.  After a few drinks, Kera and Fanis went back to the hotel.  It was around midnight and people were just getting to the bars and the streets were a buzz.  They both may have come from a city that never slept, but Barcelona could give New York a run for its money in that department for the Spaniards didn’t have laws forcing bars to close so it was normal for them to go all night as they did their sleeping during the day time for siesta.

                The next morning, Kera met with her client where she would try to sell a Chinese artifact to them.  Even though both of her parents were of Greek descent, she was fluent in Mandarin and all her focus and her line of work was in Chinese antiquities.  During the meeting, Fanis sparked a conversation with the other guards.  Even with his Spanish fluency, there was no mistaking him for being an American based on his manner of dress.  He also spoke Latino Spanish, which is slightly different from Spanish in Spain that the Barcelonans could tell the difference.  Given that they spoke Catalun, Fanis didn’t think they had room to talk.  He knew better than to call Catalun a dialect but if he was being truthful, if it’s a point that people get offended by and debate, then it may have some truth to it.  The guard’s name was Antonio and like anyone in the world, all he wanted to do was talk to the American about American politics.  Antonio asked, “What’s going on with Mike Flynn?”

                “He’s being prosecuted because they want to shut him up because he knows all of Obama’s secrets since he was a main part of his national security team.”

                “What’s he accused of?”

                “Lying to the FBI but even the agents that interviewed him wrote in their report that they didn’t believe he was being deceptive but they charged him anyway.”

                “Is that what the ‘Logan Act’ is?”

                “Oh no, that’s an old law from 1779 that Sally Yates just pulled out of her ass because she couldn’t get him on anything else.  It says you can’t negotiate with foreign countries as a representative of the United States if you’re not in office.”

                “Don’t lobbyists do that all the time?”

                “Yes, that’s why it’s a stupid law.  I don’t even think it’s constitutional.”

                “How did Flynn violate it if he was the National Security Advisor?”

                “He wasn’t yet.  He was going to be.”

                “So not only has nobody mentioned it in over 200 years, but now that she did, it’s a technicality?”

                “Correct”

                “Who did he talk to?”

                “The Russian ambassador named Kislyak.”

                “It should be easy to beat then if nobody prosecutes it.”

                “The lying to the FBI charge is the one that they’re pushing harder for.  I actually hope they do go back to the Logan Act so that we can start arresting Democrats for it.  It’s about time we do to them what they do to us.”

                “Do you have anyone in mind?”

                “There’s a Senator in Connecticut named Chris Murphy.  He flew to Germany to meet with an Iranian minister named Zarif.  John Kerry was at the meeting too.  Both of them should be arrested under the Logan Act.  Then when they make the defense that the Logan Act is unconstitutional, they can apply it to Flynn too.”

                “Maybe you should be his lawyer.”

                “His first one sucked but this one is really good.  There’s got to be a reason that we can’t do what I want to but I don’t know what it is.  I’d go in there and just start kicking ass and taking names.  President Trump I don’t think is opposed to that so there’s got to be some reason he’s not doing it but I have no idea what it is.  He doesn’t care if they attack him; they do that anyway.”

                “You said that you don’t care if it violated your constitution.  That’s not right.”

                “If they don’t have to follow the constitution then we don’t have to either.  It can’t be a set of rules only for one side.  Also, it can’t be protection for only one party.  It’s everyone or no one.”

                “That makes sense to me.”

                “Yea, unfortunately many Republicans still think they can take the high road and be nice to them and they’ll go away.  We’re in trench warfare now.  They already spied on us, they imprisoned us, what more can we wait for?  When they start rounding us up and sending us to internment camps?  There’s no more waiting.  We need to strike now and it must be with great vengeance and furious anger with no mercy.”

                “You sound like you’re arguing for a revolution.”

                “We’ve gone from spying to lying about collusion to impeachment to imprisoning his supporters.  It keeps getting worse and Civil Wars have been fought for less.  We need to stop making excuses for them and start standing up for ourselves and letting them know that we’re not going to take it.  I guess the short way, yes, I’m not opposed to a violent removal of every communist or socialist in government.”

                Kera exited her meeting and Antonio and Fanis voiced their good bye and Fanis left.  They toured the city as the Catedral Sacre Familia was one of Fanis’ favorite buildings in the world.  They then went to Gaudi house and park making it a Gaudi day.  Kera told him that they needed a break from Gaudi so they went to the Dali museum.  When they left, a man that Fanis had never seen before approached him with a sword.  He yelled, “En Guarde”

                Fanis looked around and was stunned to see nobody on the street but then he remembered that siesta was already an hour in.  Fanis was unsure if the man knew that he carried weapons but he took out his Kukri, which is smaller than a sword and touched blades with the man and queried, “Why are we doing this?”

                “You spoke of starting a revolution over Mike Flynn.  That’s not even the president.”

                “Oh don’t worry, there’s still a soft coup against the president but Flynn was always the target since he knew the ins and outs of the Iran deal and was an outspoken critic of it and he also attacked the Department of Justice for being weaponized and politicized.”

                The swordsman came at Fanis swinging the sword and he perried every blow a little nervous since he was working with a much smaller weapon.  Kera ran off and headed straight to the hotel.  While she was running, Fanis came at the swordsman swinging and slashing his Kukri and it was the swordsman turn to block the blows.  The swordsman stated, “Flynn was subordinate.  He contradicted Obama when he claimed Al-Qaeda was dead.”

                “Flynn knew he was lying.”

                “You must respect the president.” The attacks came more ferociously this time and Fanis ducked under one and spun to the other side of the swordsman swiping at the back of his neck but he the swordsman dropped his weight and turned to face him in one motion.

                “I guess his insubordination was the reason why Flynn was the only person that President Obama told Trump during the transition not to hire.”

                “Trump didn’t listen.”

                “Because he knows that an enemy of Obama is a friend of his.  I wish he also knew the reverse that a friend of Obama is an enemy to him.”

                The swordsman swung the sword and this time when it collided with the Kukri, he spun it trying to provide torque on Fanis’ hand so he would lose his grip.  Fanis was doing the same with his blade and it was a contest on who could hold longer.  The Spaniard had the edge given that swords are longer, which makes it a longer fulcrum.  As Fanis’ ancestral countrymen Archimedes explained, ‘give me a fulcrum long enough, and I can move the world.’  The two men approached each other in this test of strength and technique then Fanis reminded the swordsman that this was not a fencing bout but a street fight.  Fanis kicked the swordsman in the chest and the swordsman dropped his weapon.  Fanis then stepped beyond him and snapped his kukri into the Spaniard’s hamstring.  The swordsman fell screaming in pain and Fanis picked up his sword in his left hand.  He lunged it into his opponents Achilles Heel on the other leg to take the fight out of him.  There was more yelling and Fanis stepped on the wound and barked, “Why did you attack me?”       

                There was silence so Fanis put more weight and dangled the sword against the man’s neck and asked him again.  He muttered, “I was paid to.”

                “By who?”

                “A Muslim man.”

                Fanis put the Kukri back in its holster and removed the swordsman’s scabbard and put it on his waist opposite the kukri.  He then sprinted toward the hotel thinking that Muslims have no respect for women so the hitman probably was going to rape or kidnap Kera as they paid to kill Fanis so nobody could rescue her.  When he got back to the hotel, he found Kera safe and alone and he gave her a big hug.  Kera was a little confused but hugged him back.  Fanis never told her why he was so scared but they quickly went to bed. 

The next day, they boarded the plane and headed back to London.  Kera turns to her cousin and announces, “Back to Bloomberg, I saw a video where he was telling people that he’s okay with denying health care to 95-year-olds because it should be for younger people.  That’s ridiculous.”

                “Well, we live in London.  They ration care all the time with long waits to see specialists.  Sometimes it’s up to nine months.  You should be used to this.”

                “It’s one thing for it to accidentally happen but this whole we’ll stop the bleeding if you’re bleeding but if you need an x-ray then you got to wait is a little too blunt for me.”

                “That’s what universal healthcare does.  There’s only two ways to distribute resources; price or rationing.  There’s no third option.”

                “Well Bloomberg thinks that medical care will bankrupt us so we need to start rationing care.”

“Well, he knows the rules too but I have a problem with that.”

“Me too.  I made fun of Sarah Palin for calling it ‘death panels’ but that’s exactly what

Bloomberg just said.”

                “Now you know Sarah Palin wasn’t crazy.”

                “Oh no, she still is.”

                “You seemed to just agree with her.”

                “Only for Bloomberg, not everyone else.”

                “No, it’s true for everyone else based on that economic principle of only two ways..”

                “This is going in a circle.”

                “Yes because you keep saying the same thing.”

                “Let’s just drop it.”

                “Okay”

                The plane lands in London and they head back to their flat where a man is standing there.  Fanis looks over at Kera and she seemed impressed and confused but Kera seemed to know him. Fanis didn’t recognize him but Kera and Fanis looked at each other.  They got out of the car and Kera started, “May I help you sir.”

                “I’m actually here for your cousin.”

                Kera gives Fanis a suspicious look and sees the confusion in his face.  She smiles and states in Greek, “This is the prime minister of England.”

                Fanis’ face snapped to seriousness and his head moved back and Kera was disappointed that he didn’t have more of a poker face.  Fanis articulates, “Mr. Johnson, I’m not quite sure how much help I can be but I’ll do what I can.”

                “Are you busy?  Do you have time to go for a drive?”

                “Of course sir.”

                Fanis got in the car and Prime Minister Boris Johnson sat next to him.  He articulates, “It’s time that England comes clean.  A lot of things that happened were in the previous administration but now that they are out of power, I wanted to come clean.”

                “I’m not quite sure why you’re telling me.”

                “I’m aware of your ties to powerful people in America so don’t insult my intelligence.”

                The truth was that this wasn’t true but Fanis wasn’t going to let Boris Johnson know this so he just responded, “Well, I am definitely interested in hearing it but I don’t think I can be as much help as you think I can be but I do want to know the truth about what speculation was right and what wasn’t.”

                “Richard Dearlove was instrumental in hammering Mike Flynn and other political opponents for Obama.”

                “I figured he had something to do with this since as chief of MI6, he was Christopher Steele’s boss and he was a colleague with Halper and Cambridge University.”

                “How about you just ask me questions?  That’s a good way to do this.”

                “Did this all start in 2014 when Mike Flynn went after the Iran deal?

                “Yes, Dearlove and Halper hosted an event in 2014 at Cambridge.  It was here that they invited Flynn and a student named Svetlana Lokhova.  Have you heard of her?”

                “Yes, she was a cute Russian who spent like a decade and a half in England that they pretended she was a Russian agent.”

                “Yes, Lokhova vehemently denies this and everyone at the event confirmed that nothing inappropriate happened between Flynn and Lokhova.”

                “Halper double downed by inviting her to his wife’s birthday party at his house.”

                “Yea but she didn’t go.”

                “Did Brennan take down Flynn in order to hurt Trump or was he trying to take down Flynn and went after Trump as collateral damage?”

                “Given that it started back in 2014, Flynn was always the target.  Donald Trump was going to be a target regardless if he hired Flynn or not but when Flynn signed on in direct opposition to Obama’s advice, Brennan looked it as an opportunity to kill two birds with one Russian collusion stone.”

                “Was the August 10 memo in Steele’s dossier really about Mike Flynn, making  Papadopoulos, Carter Page and Paul Manafort distractions from their true mission; to take down Mike Flynn?”

                “The day after those investigations were open, on August 11, FBI agents met with Stefan Halper.”

                “Halper was Brennan’s spy.”

                “Right, Brennan was really upset that Flynn wasn’t included in the investigations so he had Halper make it clear that they need to investigate Flynn.  That’s why he was a throw in on the August 10 memo and then five days later they opened the investigation on Mike Flynn.”

                “Was it backdated?”

                “Yes, based on that August 11 meeting.”

                “Here’s the big question.  Did Brennan mislead the FBI about seeing the dossier and laundered the information to him?”

                “Short answer is yes.  Everything Brennan told the FBI and Harry Reid was a lie from Russian collusion, to Flynn and Lokhova and denying that he got the Steele information from Steele when it did.  Brennan made a concerted effort to make sure the FBI doesn’t realize that the FBI’s sources were the same as the CIA’s.  Brennan wanted the FBI to think that Halper and Steele were exclusively the FBI’s sources.”

                “Yea, Lisa Page basically said that in her sworn testimony to Mark Meadows on Capitol Hill.”

                “People always jump on that but if you read the texts it’s a little more damning.  This is especially true because it’s not rehearsed or coached it’s an off handed comment between lovers.”

                “I’m not sure if I saw this text.”

                Boris Johnson hands a printout of the texts between Strzok and Page highlighting the one that he wanted him to read.  Fanis reads, “To check e-mail, we got the reporting in September 19.  Looks like (redacted) got it early August.  Looking at (redacted) sync replies to me it’s not clear if he knows if/when he told them.  But (redacted) and (redacted) talked with (redacted) they’re both good and will remember it’s not about rubbing their nose in it,  don’t care if they don’t know.  I just want to know who’s playing games and is scared and is covering.  I totally get that it will never be provable.”

                “Aside from the fact that Obama’s DOJ unmasked everyone that was associated with President Trump, I wish all those names were unmasked but this is pretty ridiculous.  He admits that he knows Brennan is lying to him and leaking the media but he doesn’t care.”

                “Yes, you have the lead investigator of the FBI admitting that he knows the CIA is full of shit.  Strzok knows that the CIA got the Steele information in August when Brennan told Harry Reid but he refuses to call them out because he doesn’t care that they leak to the media or that they lied to him. If it takes Trump down, then all is forgiven.”

                “But it all failed.”

                “Yes, it did.”

                Boris Johnson switches cars and the car that he is in takes Fanis home.  Fanis didn’t hear anything that he didn’t already believe.  The only thing that he was confused about was why Boris Johnson thinks he’s highly connected politically.