Larry Couchmanos is in the city where
he grew up. To his friends that he grew
up with, they don’t like that he doesn’t call it his hometown. To Larry though, it is neither the city he
was born nor was it the city he has lived in the longest. Due to all this, he had no qualms not
referring to Cleveland, Ohio as his home.
Many people in Cleveland, however, have a staunch love of their
city. It’s almost like a mentality that
only the tough can live there and those like Larry that left couldn’t handle
it. It is true that since Larry had
left, the city had gotten a lot nicer but he still not only preferred the city
he spent the most amount of time in, New York, but also his current resident
state of Naples, Florida. He was in town
for a wedding and as was his custom, he was staying with a close friend whose
kid he baptized named Effie. Effie’s
fiancée was someone that Larry had known even longer than Effie as he met Effie
when he was 13 but Dean he had known since he was three. Dean was a lawyer and a conservative like him
so they enjoyed talking. Effie was
apolitical so just let them rant and stayed out of it. Every now and then, she would try to get a
rise out of them by proclaiming women like Cardi-B as highly intelligent and
should hold office because they were courageous enough to admit they slept
their way to the top.
While at the house, Larry asks
Dean, “What do you make of all this Mike Flynn stuff?”
“I don’t really know enough
about it.”
“At first he pled guilty to
lying to the FBI but the FBI agents that interviewed him wrote a report that
they didn’t think he was being deceptive.
He got in trouble for not filling out a FARA form correctly and they
went after his family to force him to sign a guilty plea.”
“That is standard
procedure. The whole point of a prosecutor
is to intimidate. He’s kinda fucked if
he signed the guilty plea.”
“He’s got a new lawyer, Sidney
Powell that found that the government withheld exculpatory information. She is claiming that his previous lawyers
misrepresented him and gave him bad legal advice. She convinced him to withdraw his guilty
plea.”
“I mean, he can do that but it’s
hard to make a case when you plead guilty.
Ineffective representation is extremely difficult to prove so she’s got
her work cut out for her. I wouldn’t
have suggested it but like I said I don’t know the case.”
“Covington helped Flynn fill out
the FARA form that he was indicted for.”
“Was Covington his former
lawyers?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a highly reputable
firm. I seriously doubt the ineffective
council thing will stick when you have a huge law firm like Covington as your
previous lawyer.”
“What if they worked with the
prosecutor? Powell is arguing that it
was a conflict of interest because if it went to court then it would be exposed
that Covington gave him bad advice on how to fill out the FARA form and it
would hurt their reputation.”
“What did he plead guilty to?”
“Lying to the FBI”
“So the FARA thing wasn’t part
of it?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Oh well yea, that’s
possible. Make the story about lying to
the FBI so they don’t reveal that they messed up the form. You have to be careful thought because if you
claim ineffective council then you waive your attorney-client confidentiality
so if he told Covington that he wasn’t going to cooperate with the FBI or
something then it wouldn’t be protected and Covington could tell the government
that.”
“At this point, it would
probably be a lie.”
“Let’s hope they didn’t record
it.”
“It may not even be true.”
“I agree, I’m just saying the
possibilities. Why was he in violation
of FARA?”
“They say he was working on
behalf of the Turkish government because he was an advisor for a Turkish
company.”
“Was it a company that the
Turkish Government owns?”
“There is no evidence of
that. The prosecutors just claimed that
the Turkish government has a hand in all companies so if you’re working for a
Turkish company then you’re probably working for the Turkish government.”
“That’s not how our justice
system works. He’s innocent until proven
guilty. The burden of proof is on the
prosecutor. They have to prove that
Flynn was knowingly working for the Turkish government in violation of US
law. It’s not even a problem if you’re
working for the Turkish government or else all ambassadors and diplomats who
normally don’t sign FARA’s would be arrested.”
“Right, so there’s no evidence
that Flynn was working for the Turkish government.”
“Well, if that’s true then
there’s no case. It doesn’t matter if he
filled out a form incorrectly or the wrong form. He didn’t need one to begin with. Something is off.”
“Powell thinks the same
thing. She thinks it’s a conflict of
interest because they’re defending their own advice.”
“I can see that point but that
wasn’t the plea. The plea was
lying. If they waived the other charge
for that then fine. He was indicted for
the FARA so pleaded on a lesser charge.
I can see that but it doesn’t seem necessary but maybe Covington wanted
to cover their ass. I don’t really know
but based on what you’re telling me; the correct advice would’ve been not to
sign a FARA and that would be easily defended in court so no reason to advise
them to sign a lesser charge.”
“Does it mean anything that the
government prosecutor worked for Covington and Burlington?”
“Yes, that’s more of a conflict of
interest than trying to say they didn’t want their advice on trial.”
“Eric Holder was also helping
Covington with the case.”
“Who is that?”
“He was on the Mueller probe and
he was the Attorney General for Benghazi and Fast & Furious.”
“He’s an Obama lawyer?”
“Obama’s Attorney General.”
“And Flynn was Trump’s National
Security Advisor.”
“He also was Obama’s until Obama
fired him. During the transition meeting
between Trump and Obama, Obama told Trump not to hire Flynn because he was bad
news. Obama was mad at him for being an
outspoken critic of the Iran deal.”
“As you keep talking, you’re coming
up with more and more conflicts of interest.
Like I said, if you have all your facts straight, then Powell has a
case.”
“I knew it”
A few months before this
conversation, a 35-year-old woman named Ryan was going to the Cleveland Clinic
because she had some discomfort. After
various tests, it was determined that she had a malignant tumor on her colon. As horrendous as the news was, more follow up
visits had revealed that it was localized and could be cut out surgically. Ryan went through the surgery and was in high
spirits that the scare was over. During
a post-up around the time Dean and Larry were debating, she had her lymph nodes
tested and the doctors were suspicious about what they found. They told Ryan that they don’t see any cancer
but they would like to do chemotherapy as a precautionary measure just in case
so as not to risk it resurfacing. Ryan
wanted some time to think about it and she agreed. During her visit, a doctor game in with a
grim look on his face. Ryan knew that it
was bad news so prepared herself for the diagnosis that the cancer had
returned. The doctor was with a nurse
practitioner and he stated matter-of-factly, “Ryan, we still recommend the
chemo but unfortunately your insurance doesn’t believe it to be a necessary
procedure. We want to tell you now
rather than after the fact so as not to surprise you with a huge bill.”
“What?! I mean, I appreciate you telling me before
the procedure because I don’t want this to bankrupt me but what’s the point of
having insurance if they’re not going to pay for my medical care?”
“We agree but there’s not much
we can do. I can give you all the
necessary information and write a recommendation on why we believe you need the
chemo but you should also call the insurance company and complain.”
The nurse practitioner spoke up,
“You need to remember that the insurance company works for you. I’d recommend threatening to drop them and go
somewhere else.”
“Who’s going to take someone
that has a pre-existing condition of cancer?”
“It will be tough I admit, but
that’s really the only thing insurance companies respond to; losing
business. Talk about how you’re going to
post it on social media and yelp and all that stuff. You need them to think they’re going to be
shamed.”
“I mean, I’ll try but I think
it’s easy for them to call the bluff.”
“I know, it’s hard.”
The doctor interjected, “I’m
going to get your release papers because there’s not much more I can do for you
until this is resolved.”
“Thank you Doctor” Ryan muttered
as she was still reeling from the shock.
With the doctor gone, Effie, the
nurse practitioner, took a deep breath.
“Ryan, I know this just happened but what I’m about to tell you is not
from the hospital but coming from me personally.”
Ryan was tentative and looked
around the room before answering, “Okay.”
“What if I could find someone
who would fund the procedure?”
“Umm, that would be amazing.”
she declared with obvious skepticism in her voice knowing that there had to be
a catch.
“My shift is over. Let me walk you out and let’s grab dinner; my
treat.”
“Alright.” She replied with the
same hesitance in her voice
They go to a German restaurant
downtown and Effie looks across from the skinny redhead with freckled skin,
medium sized breasts but not much of a butt.
She sighed, “So, I have a friend who has a thing for redheads. He has a lot of money and I think I’d be able
to convince him to front the money. The only catch is that you would have to
sleep with him.”
Ryan’s blue eyes widened and her
mouth gaped over as she scoffed. She shook
her head from side to side and responded, “Whoa, umm, yea, wasn’t expecting
that.”
“I know, it’s a strange request
but I figured I’d give you all your options.
I don’t know if there’s someone home waiting for you or what your
relationship status is.”
“Yes you do considering you know
only my parents and my brother have visited me.
If I had a significant other, don’t you think they would have come?”
“Some guys can’t handle their
girlfriends, fiancées, wives, in the hospital so wait at home or pick them up
when they get released. They pretend to
be so tough then we get sick and they panic like the world is ending. Meanwhile, when they get sick, we take care
of everything.”
Ryan chuckled, “That is
true. Can we talk about something
else? I need to process this.”
“Of course, it’s good to get
your mind off it and come back to it.”
“It seems the Roger Stone case
is about to come to a verdict.”
“I don’t know who that is?”
“You don’t remember when the
guy’s house got raided like a year ago at like six in the morning. Dude is 69
years old and they act like he’s some big drug dealer that’s going to be ready
for war.”
“What was he charged for?”
“Basically for being a Trump
ally but officially intimidating a witness and lying to investigators.”
“You know, I’ve been hearing a
lot about people being arrested for lying to law enforcement. My fiancée and the friend I told you about
were just talking about someone that got indicted for lying to the FBI but I
thought his name was Flynn.”
“That’s a different Trump
associate that the DOJ went after.”
“This has happened a lot I see.”
“Yes, it has but Stone is the
only one that they recommended nine years in jail.”
“Whoa, for lying? Jesus!
Oh wait, he also intimidated a juror.
Are we sure he’s not a drug lord or a mafia guy?”
“The witness testified that he
didn’t feel intimidated by Stone.”
“And they still wanted nine
years?”
“Yea”
“Well, that’s just ridiculous.”
“The Attorney General said the
same thing.”
“Barr right?”
“Yea”
“Alright, some things my fiancée
said has gotten through.”
“After that, three prosecutors
on the case resigned because they were so appalled that Barr didn’t want to
give them nine years.”
“You know, I have an eleven year
old and a six year old at home, that’s something they would do too.”
Ryan laughed, “Yea, Democrats
have a way of acting like children but I think there is a more nefarious reason
they did this than just a hissy fit.”
“Oh yea?”
“They did it so they could
virtue signal and make Barr out to be the bad guy because he’s defending the
president. Then the public thinks that
if Barr finds anything that favors Trump, he’s just biased.”
“Well clearly it didn’t work
because I don’t know about it and I’m the public. If it’s going to work, It needs to get to
people not paying attention like me.”
“Do you vote?”
“No”
“Then no, it doesn’t have to get
to you. I’m sorry that sounds harsh but
I’m just telling you how the government thinks.”
“It makes sense.”
“Besides, it hasn’t happened
yet. Since they resigned, they’re going
to accuse Barr of obstruction. A
Democrat congressman named Eric Swalwell already wants to impeach Barr for
this.”
“For disagreeing with a
sentencing recommendation and they voluntarily resigned? They weren’t fired?”
“Yes”
“How is that obstruction?”
“Beats me. Ask Swalwell”
“I’m afraid to call it
ridiculous now because I might be arrested for obstruction.”
Both women smiled at this. “It’s a little more complicated.”
“I would hope so.”
“Apparently, they told Barr a
lower sentence and then told the court the nine years so that Barr would react
since it differed from what they told him.”
“That doesn’t change my opinion
at all.”
“It shouldn’t. Anyway the name of one of the prosecutors is
Aaron Zelinsky who worked for Rod Rosenstein.
He’s the guy that recommended taping a conversation with the President
and trying to invoke the 25th amendment to remove him from office.”
“What’s the 25th
Amendment?”
“A president is removed from
office if he’s mentally unfit to be president; for instance, if he’s in a
coma.”
“Pretty sure Trump isn’t in a
coma. He’s on TV and tweets like every
day.”
“Clearly.”
“Rosenstein also signed the FISA
on Carter Page based on a hoax document.
He was also on the Mueller probe.”
“That I have heard of. They illegally spied on Trump’s campaign
because some dude in England wrote a dossier that nothing has been proven true
yet and it’s been like three years.”
“Christopher Steele, right.”
“Another prosecutor that
resigned was Brandon Van Grack. He was
in the National Security Division (NSD) and helped Flynn fill out the FARA
form. “
“I heard about this too. The Whistleblower was from the NSD.”
“Yes, he was but this NSD was
Obama’s and when it was headed by John Carlin, who was Bob Meller’s chief of
staff.”
“Yea, Larry, my friend that I
told you about, says that Trump should just fire everyone that worked for
Obama.”
“I think he’s right. Wait, he’s a Trump supporter?”
“Huge.”
“In the closet?”
“Nope, he’s pretty fucking
obnoxious about it.”
“You know what; I think I’m
willing to meet him. I’m not promising
that I’ll do it but I want to meet him first.”
“That makes sense.”
“Is he married?”
“No, he’s single.”
“And he’s rich.”
“Yes, he’s also in town. Are you free tomorrow?”
“I am”
“Alright then, I’ll arrange it
for like 7:00. You pick the place.”
“Are you his secretary?”
“No, just one of his best
friends. I call myself his wifey because
I basically do all wife things that don’t involve sexual acts.”
“I’m sure your fiancée likes
that.”
“My fiancée and him have known
each other since they were three. I kind
of feel like the third wheel when they’re together. I mean, not really because he baptized my kid
so we’re forever linked more than my fiancée but technically, he’s known him
longer.”
Ryan smiled, “Thank you for
this. It was good to laugh and smile
after the horrendous news I got from those insurance assholes.”
“No problem.”
The next day, Ryan was sitting
across the table for Larry. She started,
“Did Effie tell you about our conversation about Roger Stone?”
“No, but she did tell me you
were a Trump supporter.”
“Yea, that’s pretty much all she
told me about you too.”
“I think there’s more she told
you. Like the whole reason we’re here.”
“Yes, that too.” She uttered
timidly and then her voice got stronger, “What do you think of the Stone case.”
“Well, he’s going to get
convicted. His lawyer did a shitty job
choosing jurors considering the lead juror, Tomeka Hart, had run for congress
as a Democrat in 2012.”
“Really, I hadn’t heard about
this.”
“Oh yea, she frequently posted
things on social media about how much she hated Donald Trump.”
“Wow, that’s not biased at all”
Ryan remarked sarcastically
“I hope President Trump pardons
him. He seems to be indicating he will
but I don’t know. “
“Did you hear that Nunes thinks
there’s something wrong with the Mueller probe?”
“I think this is what he was
referring to.”
“What? That the same people that were prosecuting
Flynn and Stone were on the Mueller probe?”
“Yea so they knew from the
beginning that there was nothing to the Russian collusion hoax therefore Stone
and Flynn can’t be guilty of colluding with Russia because there was no
evidence of collusion at all.”
“Which is why they weren’t
indicted for collusion but process crimes.”
“Yea, and even Horowitz admitted
that the investigation couldn’t have happened without Donald Trump.”
“They’ve been trying to isolate
him since day 1. They punish anyone that
associates with him. It’s kind of
amazing that the result was his supporters dig in deeper because they have an ‘us’
vs. ‘them’ mentality.”
“When do you think Crossfire
Hurricane really started?”
“Sometime around spring 2016.”
Ryan grinned, “I’m glad you
didn’t say July 31. Of course, if it
started then, then when Mueller took it over, he was given an FBI file at the
start of the special council in which it showed that after a year of investigating,
they had found no evidence of collusion.”
“Yet, somehow they spent 30
million dollars and took over three years to publicize that finding.”
“Even if miraculously they
didn’t know that, they knew when they read Strzok’s texts.”
“Since you tested me, I’m going to
test you now. Why did they keep it open
so long if they knew it was a hoax?”
“That’s easy. They needed to arrest people in President
Trump’s orbit that were mentioned in the dossier to save the reputation of the
FBI and shut them up since there’s a gag order when you’re under
investigation.”
“I agree, which is why none of
his indictments on anyone had anything to do with President Trump or Russian
collusion.”
“Then he writes the report and
it’s over 400 pages of nothing. He just
goes on and on about how Russian meddled in the elections in the past and the
history of Russia’s conflicts with the United States and how they intervene in
our affairs. After all that, then they
talk about President Trump and how he won the election. They never make a link but they hope that
after reading about Russia for 400 pages, when you see someone’s name, you
automatically associate them with Russia even if that’s not what it says.”
“You don’t have to convince
me. You’re preaching to the choir.”
“Did you see fake news MSNBC
interview President Trump after the impeachment.”
Larry smiled, “When he
absolutely owned them? I don’t know when
the media will realize that their trap questions that work on other Republicans
just don’t work on President Trump. He
sees right through them and turns it around on them. What kind of question is, ‘Republicans hoped
you learned your lesson on impeachment; did you?”
“Yes, even if people realize it,
the textbook answer is to just be like, “That’s a horrible question. I answer questions not statements.”
“Not for President Trump. He answers it as a counter-attack and traps
them. He almost loves the question
because he gets to tell them that he learned what every other Republicans and
independent learned, that Democrats are horrible, crooked and bad people
because they exposed the country to a fake impeachment over nothing.”
“Then just for good measure he
goes through the rankings of the worst fake news networks not calling them by
their real names but as ‘MSDNC’ and the ‘Clinton News Network. ‘ He can’t even
give CNN the small win that he thinks someone’s worse because after he says
that MSDNC is worse than CNN he sticks in there ‘if that’s even possible.”
“The best is when he catches
himself and forgets his monker of ‘MSDNC” is MSNBC and he’s about to repeat
himself. He just goes, ‘MS or whatever
the NBC guy is.”
“Like they’re not important
enough to remember.”
“Or, what else starts with ‘MS’”
Ryan’s eyes go wide as she
realizes what he’s getting at, ‘MS-13’”
“Yea, it’s like he compared them
to one of the most vicious, bloodthirsty horrible gangs in the country but
didn’t actually say it.”
“Genius”
“I know.”
Ryan took a deep breath,
“Alright, I appreciate you indulging me up to this point. Now, I need to answer your question.”
“Technically Effie’s question.”
“Yes, her question. But also, Yes to the question.”
Larry had no reaction. He shrugs his shoulders and reaches into his
jacket pocket and hands her a medical form, “This is so you know that I’m
clean.”
“Thank you, I’m clean too but is
it okay if you still wear a condom?”
“I’m okay with that. I know you don’t have an IUD in.”
“How do you know that?”
“Effie and I have a binary
system. I don’t know anything about your
medical history besides if you have STD’s or if you have an IUD.”
“What about birth control?”
“I have no way of knowing if you
take it regularly. I know that you no
longer have to do it every day at the same time but trust is not something I’m
good at.”
“Then we’re in agreement. I kind of want to get treatment as soon as I
can so how soon can we do this?”
“I can pay the check and you can
come back to my hotel room.”
“Yea, that works. How did you know I’d say ‘yes’”
“I didn’t but I need a place to
sleep and I don’t want to burden my friends.”
Larry pays the check and they
head out and get into an Uber towards Larry’s hotel room. Ryan’s heart is pumping fast as she is
getting nervous and surprised this is actually happening. The silence is killing her so she blurts out,
“You know the education department is investigating Harvard and Yale for
foreign money from countries that hate America.”
“I do know that. China, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia and
Iran. I always knew that Harvard was
corrupt. The other ones not so much but
everything I’ve ever heard a Harvard professor say has been absolutely retarded
so that doesn’t surprise me. I guess
Yale doesn’t either because colleges are just brainwashing institutions for the
most impressionable people on the planet; 18-22 years olds who are living away
from their parents for the first time.”
“Yea, those countries are paying
to steal our technology and how most prestigious universities are aiding them.”
“The worst is Skolkovo since
they already got the hypersonic missiles.
There were telecommunications with Harvard and Yale with the Skolkovo
foundation.”
“Good old Hillary Clinton
strikes again.”
“Yup, that was her and Bill’s
project when Hillary was Secretary of State.”
They arrive at the hotel, and
Larry and Ryan exit. Larry goes into the
hotel room first and immediately tears off his clothes. Ryan scurried into the room as she removed
her clothes as well and kissed Larry on the lips. She backed him towards the bed and shoved him
to a seated position. She reached down
and rubbed his penis enlarging it so she could put the condom on. After the condom was on, she straddled him
but wrapped her legs around the middle of his torso and squeezed throwing her
body forward. Larry put his arms behind
him to steady himself as Ryan grinded her breasts against his face. Larry sucked on her breasts and leaned
forward caressing Ryan’s legs. Ryan
said, “I’m getting sick of this room, let’s go”
She got up and pulled Larry’s
arm. Larry followed her to a stairwell
where she sprawled across three stairs with her hands on the top most stair,
her torso hovering above another stair, and her knees on the third stair. Larry knelt down on the stair with her feet
and jammed his penis into her from behind.
He reached around and caressed her breasts and kissed her neck as Ryan
moved her hips from side to side. Larry
wrapped Ryan’s legs around his waist and pulled her midsection up. Ryan reached back interlocking her hands
behind his head and Larry carried her back to the room. He unceremoniously dropped her onto her
stomach on the bed and straddled her right leg.
He grabbed a shot glass and poured tequila into it. He placed the shot glass into her butt and
licked her right butt cheek. He cleaned Ryan’s
butt of salt with his tongue and then grabbed the shot glass in his mouth
emptying the contents. He repeated the
steps with the left butt cheek and then repositioned his body to reenter Ryan. Ryan hoisted herself up to all fours and Larry
used one hand to massage her breasts while the other massaged her groin and
entered working the G-spot. Shortly
thereafter, the encounter came to a halt as Larry finished.
When Larry pulled out of Ryan, Ryan
turned around and lied on her back. She
immediately sat up, got dressed and walked out of the hotel room without a
word. Larry chuckled and nodded. The truth is, that was preferred. It was better not to pretend this wasn’t
exactly what it was. He called the
Cleveland Clinic and let them know to bill him for Ryan’s chemotherapy.
Soon after, Ryan started the intense
treatment as she lost her red hair that was the thing that triggered Effie to
make the offer in the first place. As
she was going through it, Effie kept in constant contact with her. The only time Ryan brought up Larry was the
first appointment when she confided in Effie that she was nervous that the way
she left would anger Larry and he wouldn’t go through with it. When Effie asked her why she did it, Effie
responded that either Larry was a man of his word or he wasn’t. She did her part. Effie assured Ryan of the truth that Larry
didn’t care but left out that Effie thought it was a little low. She could have at least said ‘thank you’ or
‘bye’ but if Larry didn’t care than why should she?
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