Triandalphila is a huge tennis
fan. Every year, she watches the
tournaments and doesn’t sleep during the majors. She often takes off work just so she can
watch them. Triandalphila is 5’9” with
olive skin typical of her Greek heritage with wavy black hair, thick lips and a
curvaceous body. She had grown up in
North Royalton, Ohio, which is a southern suburb of Cleveland. She currently lives in Chicago with her
husband. The calendar has just turned to
September, and it’s time for the US open. She has taken off work to watch a day
of tennis. She goes to a bar at 10AM,
where she plans to spend the entire day. Little did she know she was about to
get a blast from the past.
Larry was in Chicago to visit
his niece. After spending the day with
her, he realized that she didn’t want to see him every day he was there. This hurt him since his niece meant more to
him than anyone else but he had to respect her wishes even if she was too nice
to say it herself. He told her he
wouldn’t be able to see her the next day and she didn’t even bother questioning
why but just acknowledged it nonchalantly, which hurt Larry like he’d never
been hurt before. He went to a bar to watch the US Open. Although he considered himself a tennis fan
and loved the sport, he only watched the majors. Since he lived in New York, he attended the
US Open almost every year. This year
would be no exception as he had tickets to the finals next week when he would
be back in New York. As he walked in, he
saw a woman that looked oddly familiar.
Larry had grown up in Lakewood, Ohio, which is a western suburb of
Cleveland. Being Greek, he was an avid
member in his church’s youth organizations where he met Greeks from not only
all over Cleveland but parts of Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The woman was giving him an odd look too and
Larry finally recognized her. He said, “Triandalphila?”
“Holy shit, that is you, how you
doing Larry?” she exclaimed as she gave him a big hug. Larry was 6’0” so was still taller than Triandalphila. She continued, “Do you live in Chicago?”
“No, I live in New York. I came to visit my niece but she thinks she’s
too cool for me because you know, 26-year-olds have a social life and can’t be
seen with us old 35-year-olds.”
Triandalphila laughed, “Oh yea, I
know the type. She’s on the husband hunt
and being seen with another guy craps her style.”
“In our day, girls wanted the man to
have enough confidence and courage to approach a girl if the guy she was with
didn’t show any signs of affection that they are together. They put the onus on the guy to say something
or grab her to show that she’s spoken for.”
“Yea, guys were hunters back in our
day. They watched you and if you didn’t
kiss or constantly have your arm around the guy or the guy didn’t give you a slight
tap on your butt, then they moved in for the kill.”
“Now, they’re all little snowflakes
that complain of their titties hurting.”
Triandalphila laughed again and
asked, “Is that what brings you to a bar at 10:00AM”
“No, not really. I love tennis. I’m here to watch the US open.”
“Me too actually. I’m a huge tennis
fan.”
“Well then, we can watch it
together. I got nothing to do all day.”
Triandalphila smiled, “Me neither. I planned to spend the day here as well.”
It turned out that Triandalphila and
Larry talked as well as watched. She
brought up, “Are you into politics?”
“I am. I must confess, I’m a big Trump supporter”
Triandalphila whispered, “Me too,
but you can’t say that around here.”
“It’s just as bad to say it in New
York and I say it. I’m not afraid.”
“Yea, but I mean people are crazy
nowadays. Remember a month ago when we
had two mass shootings in a weekend?”
“I do remember that. Then President
Trump went down to El Paso and MSNBC was shocked that they Latinos received him
well.”
“I was actually surprised MSNBC
admitted that. Normally they lie or just
spin it their way.”
“Yea, I guess you got to give them
credit for that.”
“No, you don’t, it’s extremely
racist” she scolded
“Of who?”
“MSNBC”
“Oh yea, trying to claim that being
against illegal immigration is the same thing as being against Latinos as if
only Latinos are illegal immigrants.”
“It’s more than that. Latinos aren’t automatons that automatically
have to vote in mass. Just because they
speak the same language or even from the same country, which most of them
aren’t, doesn’t mean they’re all the same.”
“Oh yea, and they don’t even like
each other. Puerto Ricans don’t like
Dominicans. The rest of the Latino world
doesn’t like them and Cubans normally vote Republican.”
“Exactly, see you get it.”
“I have a confession to make”
“What’s that?”
“I had a huge crush on you in high
school (Triandalphila was also 35)”
“Oh yea?”
“Yea, I would tell people I thought
you were the hottest girl I knew.”
“Why didn’t you make a move? I mean we double dated to your prom. You didn’t ask me.”
“Yea but I’m glad my friend
did. That meant we could go together.”
“Well since your date ended up being
a lesbian, I guess that isn’t too insulting to her. Are you married now?”
“No, I never wanted that stuff. It’s not that I’m a party animal, I just
don’t like compromising and I haven’t learned anything from high school. I still suck with girls.”
“Well, my husband and I are trying
to have kids. We had our fun but now
it’s time to settle down.”
“Yea, I get that, good luck” taking
the hint that the not so subtle drop of her husband was an invitation to change
the topic. He continued, “I still can’t
believe people still believe the Charlottesville lie”
“I know, President Trump
specifically said, ‘I’m not talking about Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists
because they should be condemned totally.”
“Yea, when he said ‘good people on
both sides’ he meant both sides of the issue of taking down the statue.”
They made small talk and the matches
ended at about midnight. Triandalphila
and Larry were there the entire day and they were very generous with the bar
tenders for putting up with them staying for so long. Toward the end, Larry said, “I’m actually
going to the final next week.”
“Well, consider me jealous! I would do anything for that ticket”
“Really? Like what?”
Triandalphila got
uncomfortable. “No, I just mean, I
would really like to go.”
“Well, I don’t want to blow up your
life or anything. I’m not trying to
steal you away. It would just be a one
time thing but if you allow me to live out my childhood fantasy and fuck you,
then I’ll get another ticket.”
“Ummm, tempting. I know how expensive tickets to Arthur Ashe
stadium are….”
“Courtside.”
“Yea, even then but I can’t do
that. I have a husband. I have obligations. Besides, you said hottest girl you knew.” She
declared with a smile.
“Alright, doesn’t hurt to ask. At least I finally made a move.”
“Yea, about 20 years too late.”
“Would it have worked 20 years ago?”
“I don’t know. It’s so long ago. I had horrible taste in men back then. I mean, you remember who I was dating back
then.”
“I do. Star basketball player at Westlake High
School and went to my church.”
“Yea, but I mean, you were really
nice and your dad’s a doctor and you lived on that big house on the water. Not many of the rich kids were as nice as you
were. So, you know, maybe.”
“Did you know I liked you?”
“No, I really had no idea.”
Larry just nodded. Triandalphila offered, “Since you obviously
come to Chicago and I like New York, let’s exchange numbers so we can meet up
next time you’re here or I’m in New York.”
“I’d like that. I’m glad you’re not too upset with my offer.”
“You offered me something I love
that’s worth thousands of dollars for a night with me. Trust me; I’ve given myself up for less when
I was single. I’m not offended at all.”
Triandalphila went home and her
husband was already sleeping. She got
ready for bed and slept next to him.
That weekend, Triandalphila and her husband were having breakfast and he
exclaimed, “Hey, remember when Trump lowered the flags to half staff because of
those two mass shootings in Dayton and El Paso?”
“Yea”
“Well, it turns out the day they
raised the flags back has meaning”
“What do you mean?” she asked
suspiciously knowing that her husband was a liberal
“An FBI Senior Manager named Frank
Forchatta or something Italian like that, claims that doing it on 8/8 causes
significance because “H” is the 8th letter of the alphabet and HH
stands for ‘Hail Hitler” so it’s a shout out to Neo-Nazi’s”
Triandalphila groaned, “You can’t
possibly believe something that stupid.”
Her husband shows her the clip and
at the end the FBI manager says, ‘Nobody ever thinks of this.’ To which, Triandalphila burst out, “Exactly,
nobody thinks of this and if nobody thinks of this then it doesn’t really
work. He’s talking about how someone
should have told him; the President’s staff isn’t dumb enough to think of
something that retarded. Look, until he
kills six million people or even one million people, you can’t call him a
NAZI.”
“There’s all sorts of shit that
people don’t notice. Like clowns are
actually a symbol of White Supremacy because they wear white make-up”
“Let me guess, this was in response
to a Republican calling a liberal a clown.”
“Yea, in North Carolina, you heard
about this?”
“No, I just know how liberals
think.” Triandalphila types some buttons on her phone and shows a picture of
the front page of the Daily News with President Trump with clown make-up
on with the caption “not clowning
around’ She gives him a knowing look and
declares, “Is the Daily News a White Supremacy newspaper?”
“No, they’re pointing out that Trump
is a white supremacist by putting him in clown makeup.”
“Ah, so a Republican calls a liberal
a clown, he’s a white supremacist but if a liberal calls and even draws a
Republican as one, it’s just that he’s letting people know who the White
Supremacist is.”
“There you go, now you understand”
“It frightens me that you can’t see
the hypocrisy in this.”
“Look, Republicans are morons;
Liberals are professors and highly intelligent people.”
“People afraid of the real world so
now they have to try to impress a bunch of 18-22 years olds, which is the most
impressionable demographic there is since they are young but separated from
their parents so think they’re adults when they’re really clueless.”
“So now you have no respect for teachers.”
“No, I don’t”
“You really are a monster.”
“No, monsters are ANTIFA that
physically attack people and throw liquid concrete at them because they don’t
agree with them. Monsters are the people
who firebomb ICE facilities in Tacoma Washington. Monsters are people that try to bankrupt
businesses for serving conservatives.
Hell, remember when that retard Joaquin Castro doxxed everyone in San
Antonio that donated to Trump.”
“Yea, well, that’s public
information.”
“Yea, if you dig for it and you also
have to pay for that information. Those
people lived peaceful lives until he did that.
The funniest part was, a lot of the people he doxxed donated to him too. It’s like you liberals don’t realize that
businessmen hedge their bets and give to both the Republican and the Democrat
to try to curry favor regardless of the outcome of the election.”
“Alright, maybe he should’ve been
more careful on who he targeted but he’s from Texas, what do you expect with
those rednecks?”
“And there you go proving that it’s
the left that are racist and discriminatory.”
“Whatever”
“Speaking about rich people…..”
“Yea”
“While I was watching tennis, I ran
into an old friend from back home.”
“Yea you told me. You were in GOYA (Greek Orthodox Youth
Association) together.”
“Right”
“What about it?”
“Well, he’s a billionaire now.”
“Oh, some wall street capitalist
pig. Oh well, you like those kind of
people.”
“He made me an offer I want to talk
to you about” she said shyly.
“What’s that?” his tone becoming more
suspicious.
“He offered to let me sit courtside
with him at Arthur Ashe for next weekend’s final”
“Alright, what you want to go? I don’t care.”
“Those tickets are thousands of
dollars.”
“Well, we’re not that rich. I know it’s a dream of yours but we can’t
drop that much cash on a sporting event.
It’s ludicrous.”
“That I know. He’s not charging me money for the ticket.”
“I’m not following? I mean if he’s offering it for free and you
feel bad for going, then no, I don’t care go.
I’m not possessive or the jealous type.
Take it, live your dream.”
Triandalphila thought about
this. This would be the perfect time to
just end the conversation and not let him know what she would have to do in
exchange. He would never know but she
knew the guilt would kill her and she would have to tell him. She couldn’t do it behind his back. She just had to say it. She took a deep breath and uttered, “He wants
to sleep with me in exchange for the ticket.”
“Oh, well, that’s a different
story.”
“I mean, he’s spending thousands of
dollars on me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“What do you mean?”
“He lives in New York right?”
“Yea”
“Rich people always get free shit
from other rich people. He was probably
given the tickets by someone else and he has to get rid of one. He’s trying to parlay it into something
else. Don’t let him trick you.”
Triandalphila pondered this and
replied, “Well, I’m not sure if it really matters. I’d never have a connection to be able to do
that. You brought up an interesting
point before though.”
“What’s that?”
“You said it was always a dream of
mine. The dream isn’t Arthur Ashe, it’s
Centre Court at Wimbledon.”
“Ah, yea don’t sell yourself
short. No compromise. Your counteroffer
should be he has to take you to London.”
“I’m glad you know where Wimbledon
is.”
“I do, I’m interested in your
hobbies. I’ll tell you what. Since, I’m not sure if this asshole has
connections in London. You make that
offer. Be like, if you really want to
get me to cheat on my amazing husband, then you have to take me to courtside
Centre Court Wimbledon.”
“I’ll really up the stakes and get a
Debenture ticket.”
“Whatever is the crème de la crème
in Wimbledon. Watch how he backtracks
and weasels out of it. He’ll probably
call you greedy too for not just taking the Arthur Ashe tickets. Watch him try
to turn it on you.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know the type. Hey look, I’m putting my money where my mouth
is. I’ll let you do it. It’s only one night though. If he gets you that debutante ticket, then
you have my blessing but again, only once.
Not for every day during the trip.”
“I will do that. It’s ‘debenture’ by the way. Thank you.” She replied not too sure how she
felt about her being a betting chip. She
thought about it for a while and slept on it.
The next day, she called Larry and inquired timidly, “Ummm Larry.”
“Yes”
“Hi, it’s Triandalphila”
“Oh hi, how are you doing?”
“I’m well. I wanted to talk to you
about your offer.”
“Oh, alright, I thought your mind
was already made up.”
“Well, I had to talk it over with my
husband.”
“He’s okay with it?”
“Well not at first, but we spoke and
I assured him it’s a one time thing.”
“It is. By the way, it is contingent on both of us
getting and exam to make sure that we’re clean.”
“There’s no issue on my side with
that.”
“Mine neither, so then yea, deal
still stands.”
“I have a counter-offer.”
“Alright”
“You said I was the hottest girl
you’d ever seen.”
“I did think that in high school
yes.”
“So, this really is a childhood
dream of yours.”
“Yes it is”
“It’s not fair then that you’re not
offering me my childhood dream. The real
dream would be a debenture ticket at Centre Court Wimbledon final”
There was silence on the phone. This was actually a test from Larry because
when you make an offer like that, the next step is to shut up. Whoever speaks first loses. On Triandalphila’s end, her leg was shaking
and her body tensed up she was so nervous at the response. She wasn’t keeping quiet out of any strategy,
she was just so nervous that she was afraid to speak. Larry broke the silence and stated, “Deal.”
Triandalphila was shocked. She wasn’t expecting him to say that
especially not so nonchalantly. Those
tickets go for $105,000. She started
stuttering and finally managed to say, “Thank You”
“No need to thank me. We made a deal. So, I’ll book a flight to London toward the
end of the tournament. It’s not till
July so we got a lot of time. As it gets
closer, we’ll discuss logistics.”
“Yea, okay, that makes sense.”
“Unfortunately, that gives you time
to change your mind.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Well, your husband might.”
“That I can’t guarantee.”
“There you go. I’ll probably be able to get a pretty penny
reselling it so no hard feelings if you do.”
“Alright”
Triandalphila got off the phone and
her husband smugly posed, “What did he say?” Triandalphila looked at him and
then looked down in shame. She was
having trouble getting it out. Her
husband smiled widely and exclaimed, “I knew it. See, he’s so full of shit. He got those tickets for free and wanted to
act like a baller. Anyway, Twitter just
banned Mitch McConnell’s campaign page.”
“Why?”
“They posted a video of protestors
outside his home.”
“And they banned his campaign for
that?”
“Well, the protestors were saying
some nasty shit and threatening him pretty viciously”
“Yea, that’s on the protestors not
the campaign. So wait, they can’t expose
liberals for the vial, disgusting degenerates that they are but #massacremitch
can be trending with no consequence?”
“Well, you can’t post hate speech.”
“Calling someone ‘Massacre Mitch’ is
hate speech. The campaign wasn’t doing
hate speech, their opponents were. You
can’t blame Republicans for liberal’s actions.
That’s just ridiculous.”
“You’re just upset because you were
all excited to go to London and get the best seats in the house and that dream
was just crushed”
“No, it wasn’t, he said ‘yes’ I’m’
going to Wimbledon next July.” She blurted out and then opened her mouth only
shutting it again realizing what she just said.
Her husband was no longer
smiling. He had a lot of emotions going
through his head but he was a man of his word.
He had to honor his agreement.
After a long pause, he decided he needed some comic relief. He posed, “Did you see what Michael Moore
said on Twitter?”
“He’s still around?”
“Yea, evidently. Soul Cycle and Equinox are holding a Trump
rally in the Hamptons in New York. He
posted that he is canceling his membership to Soul Cycle.”
Triandalphila grinned widely and her
husband tried to hold it but burst out laughing. Triandalphila followed. She cried out, “I’m not going to touch that
one but let’s just say Soul Cycle won’t miss him.”
“Yea, that’s a nice way to say that
they’ve probably never met.”
Triandalphila nodded and looked
away. She looked at him more seriously
and asked, “Is there anything you want to say about next summer?”
“I made a bet, I lost, I got to
honor it. Have fun. Just remember, I only agreed to one
night. All the other nights, you can’t
do it.”
“I know, are you sure you’re okay
with this?”
“Of course, I’m not okay with this
but I’m an honorable man. I called his
bluff and he wasn’t bluffing. I know
you’ll come back to me. If I squash
this, then you may resent me and you may think less of me for going back on my
word. I can’t do that. I know how strong our relationship is. You’re not going to let the money and the
wining and dining and high end tickets seduce you away from me. You’ll get it out of your system and then
come straight back home.”
“Yes, you have my word on that.”
“There we go. Just do me a favor. Even though I agreed to it, I don’t need to
keep having to be reminded of it. Don’t
tell me any details of the trip or anything.
We will never discuss this again.”
“Understood.”
For the next six months, Triandalphila
and Larry didn’t speak. He finally
reached out again in March to talk about their trip in July. Triandalphila hadn’t forgotten and was eager
to go. She had gotten a doctor’s
appointment and got checked for STD’s and sent the results to Larry who did the
same. Triandalphila also got an IUD
installed to ensure that she wouldn’t become pregnant. She would rather not have to decide between
abortion and giving the kid up for adoption.
The time came for Wimbledon and as promised, Larry got the most prized
tickets in the tennis world. Luckily for
them, the final was a thriller. They had
arrived in London the day before the event and stayed in the same hotel
room. Larry got two queen beds so as not
to be awkward on the off nights. Triandalphila
insisted that she wasn’t going to do it until after she knew that the tickets
were legit and they went to the event.
Larry calmly agreed to the terms.
Truth was, he was a little nervous that she was lying. He had been doing this indecent proposals a
lot and it hadn’t backfired on him yet.
The girl never counter-offered either though. After the match, they went back to their
hotel room. Triandalphila looked at
Larry stripping himself of his clothes and pronounced, “Wait”
Larry closed his eyes trying to hold
back what he felt. Here it came, her
getting cold feet. He couldn’t even do
anything about it because then it could be considered rape or sexual
assault. Triandalphila noticed his
dismay and said, “I’m not backing out of the deal” as she smiled
condescendingly, “I just don’t really want to feel like a prostitute. Can we like talk first rather than just walk
in, rip off our clothes and do it?”
“I actually thought you’d prefer
that since any emotional attachment to it may make you feel worse.”
“No, I don’t like feeling like a
prostitute. I’ve known you for
years. That’s the only reason this is
justifiable.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“What do you think about the
President’s trade war with China?”
“Well, the Chinese have devalued the
Yuan significantly to counteract the tariffs”
“Yea, it’s a good strategy because
now their products aren’t more expensive for consumers so they can keep selling
them and the international consumers pay the same price.”
“You forget about the companies in
China”
“What do you mean?”
“They have to sell more of their
product for the same money. Their labor
is now worth less. They, in a sense, got
a pay cut. They can’t buy as much of
international products.”
“I didn’t think of it that way. But I don’t think President Trump’s strategy
to bring American businesses to America is working.”
“No, they’re generally going to
Mexico and Vietnam but the issue wasn’t to get them all to come back to
America, the issue was to stop China from taking advantage of us. The flight of their manufacturing is good for
us bad for China. Once companies leave,
they generally don’t go back.”
“So you think we can win?”
“it will no doubt hurt us in the
short term but in the long run, I think we can handle it better than China and
they’ll cave before we do.”
“Yea, we’re holding all the cards.”
“I wouldn’t say that, they do have
one ace up their sleeve”
“What would that be?”
“They own $ 1.1 Trillion in US
Treasury bonds. If they unload them or
even a portion of them into the market, then the price of US bonds would
plummet. When that happens, interest
rates, which are inversely correlated to the price of bonds, will
skyrocket. It will probably end all
diplomacy between us and China but that is an option for them.”
“How realistic do you think that
is?”
“Well, remember if they did that,
the Chinese would devalue their own bonds that they still hold. They don’t really benefit too much from it.”
“So, it’s like the mutually assured
destruction thing with Russia. We could
have nuked each other but it would be committing suicide.”
“Yea, except I don’t think Asians
have that same sense as Europeans. They
seem to be willing to be destroyed.”
“I guess we have to just hope you’re
wrong.”
“Yup, I obviously want the president
to win this trade war.”
There was an awkward silence and Triandalphila
looked at Larry in his boxers and the ravenous look in his eye. She sighed and stated, “Let’s go.”
Triandalphila stripped herself of her
clothes. She got a running start and
wrapped her arms and legs around Larry.
Larry held her there and Triandalphila hung her arms out to position
Larry’s penis to enter her vagina. They
made out and Larry kissed her lips, neck and breasts as she leaned back. Triandalphila felt Larry grow inside
her. Larry backed his way to the bed and
lied down on his back. Triandalphila
grinded her waist against him then lifted herself off him. She turned around to face his legs, sat on
his groin forcing his penis to penetrate her from behind. She bent her legs up and wrapped her arms
around them. Larry sat up, wrapped his
arms around her arms and pulled her legs towards her chest as he kissed her
neck. Triandalphila turned her head and
they made out. Triandalphila rolled
herself over and Larry followed her body so that he was still penetrating her
from behind but this time he was hovering over her and Triandalphila was on all
fours. Larry reached around and massaged
her breasts. Larry didn’t last very long
as semen sprayed into her. Larry pulled
out and Triandalphila got up and said, “You know, I really wish I knew how much
you liked me. I mean I’m not really
doing anything too special and you came really fast.” She smiled widely and said, “well, I guess
that’s good for me; less work to get over my guilt for cheating on my husband.”
The entire experience lasted less
than two minutes. There was a brief
silence before Larry spoke, “Well, we both got our dreams today.”
“You seem to know the President’s
strategy. What would you say his
doctrine is?”
“That is a tough question. I think that unlike other presidents,
President Trump doesn’t separate the military from economics”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“Well, we have trade wars with
China. This sends a message to China
that we’re not pushovers. If we’re not
pushovers then maybe they decide not to invade Taiwan or something. Maybe they think twice before taking over
that strait that they covet so much. The
economic battles prevent the military battles”
“Economic battles can lead to
military conflict”
“Not when done right. Look at North Korea, he talks about building
it up economically and using their waterfront property. Everything is about the economy so maybe that’s
his strategy.”
“I never really thought about it
that way. You’re Senator has been pretty
critical of Trump.”
“Most New Yorkers are.”
“Yea, well Schumer more than most. He has been railing against indexing Capital
Gains.”
“Funny, in 1992, he gave a speech
where he was all for it.”
“I didn’t know that. I’m pretty sure someone had to tell you that
since we were eight at the time.”
“Yea, I was too busy being nervous
that Team USA Basketball would lose if I watched them because I was bad luck.”
“Didn’t they win big every game?”
“Sometimes by 50 points. They never even called a time out.”
“Yea, looks like you were wrong on
that one.”
“Don’t worry, I found the DVD’s and
watched the games later. A lot later, it
was like a couple years ago.”
Triandalphila
laughed. “I’m not quite sure I get the
debate over the Capital Gains Index.”
“Well
if you make money on a stock over time, it’s not simply that you invested a
thousand dollars and now you have 1,200 five years later. You didn’t make $200 in five years.”
“Why
not?”
“Some
of that is inflation. It’s not fair to
be taxed on inflation. Indexing the
Capital Gains takes the inflation out so you get to keep more of your money.”
“Which
will incentivize people to invest more.”
“Correct”
The
next day, Larry and Triandalphila flew back to the States. Triandalphila connected to Chicago and they
hugged each other amicably as they split up to their separate gates. Triandalphila felt like she ripped him off
but it wasn’t her fault that he finished so early. For Larry’s part, he was okay with it. To him, it wasn’t how long he lasted; it was
how much he enjoyed it. He finished and
loved every second of it. It really was
fulfilling a childhood dream. Those two
minutes were worth a lot more than the money he dropped on it, which his
company would make back in no time.
No comments:
Post a Comment