Larry is a billionaire with trust
issues. He never wanted to settle down
with a wife and he was too possessive to fill his baser desires by having a
professional take care of it. To him, he
liked amateur girls because there was the aspect of corrupting the innocent. On the other hand, professionals want cold
hard cash that can be used for anything.
Larry didn’t want to fund a drug habit or something like that. To him, he wanted to pay a bill that they
felt was too high to pay. It’s not like
what the girls chose was always the worthiest of causes but Larry didn’t
discriminate too much. After all, what
he was proposing was basically prostitution.
To him though, he had heard one too many girls give their body to a man
because they got tired of them constantly asking or they bought too many
dinners that they felt they owed them something. When women had this mentality, then it seems
that most women are prostitutes if the price is right. Let’s be honest, if men were in the same
position, they probably would give themselves up for much less. Larry knew that
he couldn’t just put an ad on indeed or craigslist for this. Instead, he and various people he knew kept
their ears out for an attractive girl that said the magical phrase, “I’d do
anything if….”
Kat is a Greek girl with short
black hair and a petite frame. Unlike
most Greek girls, she wasn’t as curvaceous but she looked innocent and cute
that played into guy’s natural attraction to young girls. Since she was 32-years-old, she only looked
young, she wasn’t actually young. Also
unlike most girls, Kat loved cars. She
could tell you all sorts of statistics about cars from 0-60 to toque and
engines. Her car knowledge rivaled most
mechanics. Kat decides to meet up with
one of her friends at Shooters located in her home town of Cleveland, Ohio on
the Cuyahoga River. This area is known
as “the Flats” to locals. Through Kat’s
life, the Flats have had a resurgence.
It went from a ghost town to a vibrant, hopping downtown scene. Shooters is one of the very few places that
still existed from when she was in high school so it held a nostalgia for
her. Kat meets her friend Christina and
they grab a drink and start talking. The
conversation turns to politics as there is a field of about 20 Democrats vying
to challenge Donald Trump for the presidency next year. Kat asks Christina who she wants to see win.
“I like Biden.”
“You haven’t fallen for this
public outcry against old white men?”
“No, I mean he worked with Obama
and let’s be honest, Obama was so cool.”
“I don’t know, I think Biden is
creepy and he keeps making ridiculous comments.
He seems to forget where he is half the time. He keeps talking about segregationalists that
he worked with. People say that Trump
was successful because he said so many controversial things that people got
used to it and didn’t react. Biden says
so many ridiculously stupid and senile things that people don’t react
anymore. But, Trump at least seems like
he knows what he’s saying. Biden just
seems lost.”
“Well, he goes right at
Trump. He gave a speech yesterday saying
that David Duke and Richard Spencer want Donald Trump to win because they’ve
been waiting for someone like him. These
are the heads of Neo-NAZI’s and the Alt Right.
White Supremacists support him.
I’m not saying that Trump is one but he doesn’t condemn them and Biden
called him out for not condemning them.”
“See, this is my confusion with
people nowadays. If President Trump is
so bad, why do people lie about him?
Just tell the truth about the things he says and does. Your point actually backs me up because
there’s video of Trump from as far back as 2000 specifically condemning David
Duke. As Richard Spencer was spouting
off, Trump condemned him then too. Even
the Charlottesville speech that everyone points to, he specifically says ‘I’m
not talking about the white supremacists because they should be condemned
totally.’”
“So you like Trump?”
“I’m not saying that, I’m just
saying that Biden is a liar. By saying
that Trump never condemned White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, Richard Spencer or
David Duke is an outright lie. You don’t
really get credit for condemning those pieces of shit but if you condemn them,
you shouldn’t be accused of not condemning them.”
“Trump is a racist”
“So is Biden”
“How so?”
“He called Obama the first black
man he’s met that is clean. I mean what
is he saying that black people are dirty?
That is one of the most racist comments I’ve ever heard.”
“Well he’s old, old people say
insensitive things all the time.”
“How would you react if Trump
said that? He’s not much younger.”
“That’s different”
“It really shouldn’t be.”
“Let’s talk about something
else. How’s work?”
“It’s going well but you know I
don’t make a lot.”
“Yea, I know you see these rich
people on TV with Obama buying $15 Million homes in Martha’s Vineyard, it’s
like what do I need to do to get that?”
“Be president.”
“Yea seriously”
“I don’t really need a $15
million home. I just want a Ford Mustang
Bullitt. If I could feel the power of
that car in my hands, man, I’d do anything for that.”
“I’m sure you could rent one in
Vegas or something.”
“Yea, but I want to own it.”
“Well, you’re going to have to
find some rich guy to marry.”
“I thought that the whole
feminist movement argued against that.
It’s up to us.”
“Well, feminists can do what
they want. If you can land a whale, then
you take it. I feel like feminists that
can’t get the high roller are the ones that say that.”
A bald man behind them turned
around and remarked, “Actually, you may not have to marry them. You could just make a deal. I mean, you did say you would do anything
right?” looking at Kat.
Larry was visiting the city he
grew up in; Cleveland, Ohio. In grade
school and high school, his family would take their family boat downtown and
park on the river. The restaurants serve
the boats and he was always impressed with how waitresses would carry trays of
food steeping from boat to boat to deliver food. His family no longer had the boat but he did
go down to the most popular restaurant on the water: Shooters. He sat at the bar and listened in to
conversations hoping to hear the trigger word.
Finally, he does. A girl has just
said she’d do anything for a Ford Mustang Bullitt. He turns around and interrupts a conversation
that is more familiar than women would expect.
Women always think you have to marry a rich guy to get all your
financial dreams. If you have one high
end item, you can just trade one night for it.
He intimated this with his ice breaker, “Actually, you may not have to
marry them. You could just make a
deal. I mean, you did say you would do
anything right?”
Kat’s body tensed up. She became shy and muttered under her
breath. She wasn’t sure if she should be
offended or flattered. Luckily, Christina
recovered quicker and stated, “Why don’t you sit with us.”
“Only on the condition that the
next round is on me.”
“Done” Christina replied with a
smile.
The bald man extended his hand
and declared, “I’m Larry.”
“Christina”
“Kat”
“Nice to meet you girls”
“Likewise” they both responded.
Christina asked, “So how long
were you eavesdropping?”
“Just when your friend here said
she’d do anything for a Ford Mustang Bullitt.”
“Do you like cars?” Kat asked.
“I drive them but I’m not very
knowledgeable. My friend in high school
was obsessed with Mustangs and he made me watch the movie Bullitt so I’m
familiar with the car but I couldn’t tell you much about it.”
“I love that movie. Best car chase scene of all time.”
“Did you realize that the
Mustang lost five hub caps during it?”
“Yea, everyone knows that by
now.”
Christina felt lost in the
conversation so switched it back with, “Which Democrat candidate do you like?”
“If I had to pick, I’d choose
Delaney. Everyone else is way too far
left and retarded. Biden is the only
other moderate and he’s just lost it. I
know people said this about Dole, McCain and Reagan but I actually don’t think
Biden will live for the next four years.”
The girls laughed. “Yea well
someone has to stop Trump” Christina opined
“Many have tried. All have failed. If you think about it objectively, you have
to admire that this guy took on the Never Trumpers, Democrats, Liberals, Ann
Coulter and her followers, the FBI, CIA, congress and Europe, China and
Mexico. He’s being attacked on all sides
but he’s still standing. I don’t know
how you don’t admire that.”
“Well, he’s got Attorney General
Bill Barr, Durham and Harrowitz helping” Kat rejoined
“Yea, but there is push
back. It is obvious that the president
has the power to declassify whatever he wants and the new FBI director
Christopher Wray has told the FBI to stall till after the election to give them
the complete texts between Strzok and Page.”
“I’m not familiar with that” Kat
pronounced
“The lead investigator for the
FBI on Trump is Peter Strzok and Lisa Page is an FBI lawyer. They were having an affair and texting each
other admitting that they were actively trying to stop Trump from becoming
president. There was damning texts that
got them fired from the Mueller probe because even though every single hire on
the probe was a Clinton Democrat, even they couldn’t justify Page and Strzok
after those texts leaked.”
“But there are some that still
haven’t been revealed?”
“Yea, between December 2016 –
May 2017, Wray claims that he can’t find them.
It just disappeared; poof”
“That’s ridiculous”
“Of course it is. President Trump should make them do it
yesterday. If not, he should fire Wray
for insubordination. It’s an obvious
case of it. What happened to Apprentice
Trump where ‘You’re fired’ was a tag line?”
“Yea, I don’t know”
“So, I want to go back to what
got me to sit down. How serious are you
about doing anything for a bullitt?”
“I don’t know why?”
“Well, contingent on being
medically cleared, I would be willing to buy you a Bullitt for one night with
you.”
Christina and Kat’s eyes went
wide. Kat looked down and blinked
several times. She raised her eyes but
didn’t raise her head but caught Larry staring intently at her waiting for a
response. She needed to respond but she
was still reeling from the offer. She
looked up, “What do you mean about medically cleared?”
“We need to be tested for
STD’s. If you’re clean, the deal’s on.”
“Are you going to be tested
too?”
“Yes”
Christina looked back and forth
and exclaimed, “Well, I’m going to go home.”
She gave Kat a knowing look that seemed to say she should take the
offer.
Larry turned to her and extended
his hand and got up. “It was nice
meeting you.”
“You’re a little too skeevy to
shake hands with. Treating my friend
like a fucking prostitute, what’s wrong with you!”
Larry merely shrugged his
shoulders and sat down. He noticed that
Christina didn’t even wait to see if Kat was going with her. “How do I know you’re not lying?”
“Well it’s a car, I can drive it
to the hotel and just hand you the keys.
You’ll see the car.”
“Will you put it in writing?”
“Of course”
“Let me think about it. Let’s get back to the war between President
Trump and the Justice department.”
“Alright, so we did the FBI, now
let’s do the CIA.”
Kat chuckled, “Alright”
“Former CIA director John
Brennan denied under Oath that the CIA relied on the Steele information.”
“You mean the dossier?”
“No, Brennan knew Steele. I think Steele told Brennan what he wrote in
the dossier. That way, when Brennan says
he didn’t see the dossier till December 2016, he may not be lying but if the
author tells you what he wrote, then it’s the same thing,”
“But why do you think that?”
“Because Brennan briefed
congress and President Obama on information only found in the Dossier. Since we know the Dossier is a lie filled
document. The only place he could’ve
gotten it from, if not the Dossier, is Steele himself.”
“That makes sense. Let’s go back to the FBI though. Wray wasn’t the FBI director when Trump was
running; Comey was.”
“Yea but you need to understand
that law enforcement is a close knit fraternity. The Kabal of former intel people is small and
they all know each other. Wray is
friends with all the Spygate CIA and FBI people so he’s just protecting his
little fraternity brothers.”
“That’s a lot of speculation.”
“Do you have a better
explanation why Wray is denying a direct order from the President of the United
States? Do you really believe he just
lost six months worth of information?
Which do you think is more plausible?”
“Alright, I see your point. I just think it’s a weak argument.”
“So, about your offer.”
“Yes”
“Only because you haven’t really
been pushy and you actually seem intelligent.
I mean, in the most you could be in this situation, you did it as
respectful as anyone could so I’m going to say ‘yes.’”
“Excellent. Let me know when you get tested. I’ll get tested tomorrow and then we’ll
arrange it. Can I get your number?”
“Sure” Kat answered thinking
that this is going in reverse. Usually
you get the number first then put in the work and lead to sex. Now sex came before the number.”
Larry paid the bill and they
went their separate ways. Larry got his
tests done and sent them to Kat letting him know that he was clean. Two days later, Kat got hers done and had an
IUD implanted at Larry’s requests. Larry paid the co-pay. Kat came back clean and she texted Larry the
screen shots. Larry called her and
proposed, “I’d like to get this over with as quick as possible so how about
tonight?”
“This is the first time you
called me”
“Yes, I know but everything else
was done through texts.”
“Can you just not have the first
time you call me be ‘hey when are you going to fuck me?’”
“What do you want to talk
about?”
“Well, I know why you’re in such
a hurry. Your window of opportunity to
have the disposable income to do this is closing.”
“What makes you say that?”
“We are way overdue for a recession.”
“I think that the recession
fears are overblown.”
“Well, finance people disagree
with you”
“The Wall Street Journal
doesn’t. Everyone is talking about the
inverted yield curve. It has predicted
the last 10 recessions. The other
factors in those 10 recessions, however, have not happened. That’s why I think this inverted yield curve
isn’t very indicative.”
“I confess I don’t really know
about the yield curve but I’d like to.
Explain it to me.”
“Well, usually the interest on a
long time loan is higher than a short term loan right?”
“Yea because there’s more
uncertainly what will happen 10 years in the future rather than three years.”
“So, that is a regular yield
curve. The 10 year is higher than the
three year.”
“With you so far”
] “When it inverts, the long term
interest rates are lower than the short term loan”
“So, people are less confident
about the next three years than the next 10.”
“Correct”
‘It’s like they see something on
the horizon.”
“Right, so they buy up long term
assets because they think that the economy will rebound after the short term
hit. With this increased demand in long
term loans, the price drops. Simple supply and demand. There’s a higher demand for long term loans,
the price rises.”
“But you think this is different
you said.”
“I did”
“Alright, so how so?”
“Well now the treasury
department is trying to fund all these huge deficits because congress is
spending like crazy. Since the treasury
department is flooding the market with short term assets, what happens when you
increase the supply of something?”
“I’m not an economics girl but
if you have a bunch of something, it means you don’t care about it because you
have a lot of it so you would lower the price since you’re trying to get rid of
it.”
“Right, increase supply,
decrease price.”
“You mentioned other factors”
“The other predictor of the last
10 recessions is the unemployment rate is 0.5% higher than the 12 month average
and we’re nowhere near that.”
“So you’re saying that usually
the demand causes the yield curve to invert but this time, the treasury
department made it a supply issue.”
“Correct”
“So the Treasury department is
trying to hurt Trump?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. These deficits are problematic; they may have
done this because they needed to not because they hate the President.”
“Alright, well, the last few
days I’ve found the Bullitt I want. You
let me know when you buy it, and then I’ll fulfill my end of the bargain.”
“Send me the information”
Kat does and Larry purchases it
the next morning. When you’re willing to
pay sticker price with no negotiation, there’s not much to discuss. Larry calls Kat and tells her the good news
and requests if they can do it that night.
Kat blushes and pumps her fist but her voice remains steady. She doesn’t want him to know how happy she is
by it. She has enjoyed her conversations
with Larry so agreeing to have sex with him was much easier. The thought crosses her mind whether or not
she would have done it if he was a jerk but she dismisses it because it’s not
relevant. Christina did call her the
next day and Kat lied and told her she turned him down because she felt too
dirty accepting. To Kat, nobody needed
to know about this.
Kat took an Uber to the hotel as
she expected that she’d be driving home in something else. Larry had already texted her the room
number. She was happy to see he picked a
nice hotel. Doing it in some cheap rate
motel would have bothered her. Then
again, parking a Bullitt in a cheap motel parking lot may prove
problematic. She knocked on the door and
Larry opened it. She walked in and saw a
table filled with salt, tequila and lime.
Larry was in a T-shirt and mesh shorts whereas Kat was in a dress with
high heels and make up. Larry handed her
the contract and Kat skimmed through it.
She smiled and coyly articulated, “Well, I saw my car outside.”
“Then you know I’m not lying.”
Kat noticed that Larry already
signed the contract. She grabbed a pen
and signed it by her name as well. She
took a deep breath and Larry removed his clothes. He approached Kat and reached around her back
to unzip her dress. Kat gently nudged
him back and explained, “I’m sorry, it’s just walking in here, signing a
contract, ripping our clothes off and sleeping together makes me feel really
dirty. I’m not saying ‘no’ I’m just
saying I want to talk first. I’ve
enjoyed our conversations and I assume this is the last time we’re going to
speak to each other.”
“Yes, it will be.”
“So, let’s actually have a
conversation then.”
“Did you hear about the
President’s bold move on immigration?”
“No, but keep in mind my parents
are immigrants.”
“So were my grandparents. What’s your point? Mine did it legally”
“As did mine.”
“It’s been my experience that legal
immigrants don’t like illegal immigrants.”
“Yea, that is generally true”
Kat conceded. “So what’s his bold move?”
“He wants to get rid of
birthright citizenship.”
“But that’s in the
constitution. You can’t just change the
constitution without a three fifths majority of congress and Democrats control
congress and won’t give him shit.”
“It is true that the
constitution says if you’re born in the United States, you are a citizen but
everyone forgets the second part.”
“Which would be?”
“and subject to the jurisdiction
thereof” see people always forget the English language when they read the
constitution. It says you need to be
born here AND be subject. When you have
the word ‘and’ both things needs to be true not just one.”
“I get that, but I’ve never
really heard anyone talk about the second part.”
“That’s why McCain could be born
in Panama or Romney born in Canada but still run for president. They were born on military bases and their
parents were still subject to the jurisdiction of the United States.”
“But military bases are
considered the soil of the country. Just
how the US embassy in every country is technically American territory and
soil.”
“You are right and that has been
the practice. There has never been a
Supreme Court ruling, however, saying that if you’re born in the United States,
you’re a citizen with no caveats or stipulations.”
Kat thinks about this for a
second and offers, “I mean, it’s logical.
If two foreigners have a kid in America then they shouldn’t be able to
use that kid as an anchor baby.
Immigrants have been doing it for years but it doesn’t make sense. You illegally came here; having a kid
shouldn’t make it legal all of a sudden.”
“That’s why the founders put in
the second clause about being subject to the jurisdiction of the United
States. Those foreign parents aren’t
subject to the jurisdiction so they don’t count. Look at it the other way. If for whatever reason, you travel abroad
late in your pregnancy and you have the kid in a foreign country, is it fair
that your kid is not a citizen all of a sudden?”
“No, it wouldn’t be. You pay taxes. You’re a citizen; it should pass to the kid.”
“There you go so President Trump
just wants to enforce what the constitution actually says rather than what
we’ve been doing in practice without any legal authority for years. It has never been decided if the language
means territorial, like with the military bases and embassies or political like
in the jurisdiction since you still have to pay taxes if you travel abroad.”
“It may be time to have that
debate then. I see both sides but that’s
the point. I guess it’s one more fight
that Trump has.”
“Yup”
There was silence and Larry
inquired, “Are you satisfied?”
Kat laughed, “Yes” and turned
around and let Larry unzip her dress.
She stepped out of it and removed her bra and
underwear. They started making out and Kat backed him to
the bed. Larry grabbed her arm and spun
her and sat down on the bed pulling Kat back.
He lied back placing his feet on her back and said, “It’s time for me to
establish my dominance.”
He bent his knees to his chest sliding his
penis into Kat. Larry used his legs to
press Kat forward and back onto his crotch repeatedly. Kat felt Larry’s penis exit her further and
further away from Larry’s body. She
stared at the table and said, “Don’t be silly, I’m always in control.”
As she finished the statement, she
stood up forcing Larry’s penis out of her vagina and cleared off the
table. She dragged the table to the bed
and lied on it and told Larry to stand on the bed. Larry did so, and Kat lifted her lower body
and wrapped her legs around Larry’s waist pulling his pelvis towards her
driving his penis towards her cervix.
Larry reached down and grabbed her suspended butt to support her. The back of Kat’s neck and shoulders were the
only thing on the ground. Larry caressed
her breasts and squeezed her butt hoisting her up pushing his penis further
into her. After a little bit, Kat bent
her legs forward and nudged Larry back off her.
She said, “Lie down” grabbing the bottle of tequila in one hand and the
salt in the other.
She
licked the Greek flag tattoo on Larry’s chest and sprinkled salt over it. She bent over and licked the salt off Larry’s
chest and poured a shot of tequila in a shot glass and downed it. She hurried over and bit into a lemon as she
started coughing. Larry grabbed her hips
from behind and turned her and bent her over the bed. He humped her from behind driving his penis
through her vagina towards her clitoris.
He reached around with his arms and caressed her breasts as he kissed
her neck and said, “Yea, it’s not as fun when you’re licking hair and you gotta
be able to handle tequila little girl.”
With that, semen sprayed out off his penis
into Kat’s birth canal to be dealt with by her white blood cells to battle the
millions of tiny invaders. The IUD would
ensure that none would get through to fertilize the egg. Kat reached back and pulled Larry’s head
towards her shoulder and turned her head to kiss him and said, “I may not be
able to handle the tequila, but you can’t handle me” as she gyrated her hips to
cause discomfort to Larry who desperately needed to let the limp phase take
place.
Eventually Kat let him back off her and she
turned towards him smiling.
Larry lied on his back breathing
a little heavily. Kat lied next to him
and was much less winded. She broke the
ice with, “You seem to be of the opinion that the government can’t do anything
right.”
“I’m okay with the military and
national defense. I’ve driven a lot of highways;
they don’t do a bad job with that. I
still think the private sector would be better but then you’d have to pay more
for them so I’m not really in favor of more tolls. Other than that, yea I think the private
sector is better at everything.”
“Well a government organization
invented the internet.”
“You’re talking about
DARPA. DARPA didn’t invent the
internet. It was designed so that
schools could talk to each other. It was
the private sector that brought it worldwide.
That’s like saying those twins at Harvard invented Facebook. Their idea was to have an elite Harvard only
network. It was Mark Zukerberg that took
it to the world. I know that Zuckerberg
lost the court case and had to give them money but let’s be honest, Zuckerberg really
invented the Facebook we know now.”
“We should connect on Facebook”
“I don’t have it.”
“Wow, you defend Zuckerberg but
you don’t even use his product.”
“I hate that he discriminated
against conservatives and people bother me.
I got too sick of seeing naked baby pictures on my feed. I’m too anti-social for Facebook. That being said, I give credit where it is
due. Zuckerberg did create a system that
an obscene amount of people want. To the point that people are confused if you
don’t want it. Like you are now.”
Kat smiled, “What about
Fracking. That was discovered by the
government.”
“No, they discovered foam in the
ground. Private companies found out how
to turn it into energy.”
“Some things need to be provided
at a loss and only the government can provide it.”
“You haven’t really given me an
example. That’s what they said in 2009
with the student loan market. It’s
important for people to have education right?
The government can take the hit and do a better job than banks. That was the argument. Here we are 10 years later and it has cost
tax payers $306 Billion because government can’t determine credit risks as well
as a bank can. Their way around it is to
offer waivers to forgive your debt if you work for the government. So basically you force people to work for you
if you pay for their education.”
“Companies do that all the
time.”
“Yes, but the employee can
leave. They’re not slaves. If a company pays for you to get your masters
and then you quit, the company can’t do anything about it. You do that to the government and then they
charge you for the student loans again.
A private company can never force you to pay. Only the government can do that and that’s
what makes large governments tyrannical and why monopolies, though not fair and
not nice, can never be as tyrannical as a big government.”
“What’s the statue of
limitations on our deal?”
“You did what I asked. The keys are on the table, you can leave when
you want.” Larry responded
“You misunderstand. I’m not saying I want to leave now, I want
you to hold me and literally sleep together but I know that’s not in the
agreement.”
“Oh, yea that’s fine.”
Kat turned to her side and Larry
turned towards her and wrapped his left arm around her body and rested it on
her stomach. He slid his right hand
under her neck as an extension of the pillow and exhaled relaxing his body. Kat did the same. If Larry is being honest, feeling a girl relax
in his arms was the most manly feeling one could get. They both fell asleep quickly.
They next morning, Kat and Larry
woke up. They got dressed and had
breakfast in the lobby of the hotel.
Larry handed over the keys to the Mustang and Kat smiled and shrieked
with joy. After breakfast, they both got
up and Kat gave Larry a big hug. Larry
held her close and squeezed her body to his.
Kat pulled back and kissed him on the mouth. They both extended their tongues to meet each
other’s and Kat smiled and stated, “That one’s for free.”
Kat left the room and got in her
new car. Larry went back to his room to
pack his things and head back to New York where he lived. Kat often thought about Larry but didn’t dare
call him. Larry never thought about Kat
again. They never spoke or saw each
other again.
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