Fanis and Kera live in London, England. Kera is an international Chinese art dealer
and Fanis is her bodyguard. They are
second cousins as Fanis is the closest thing Kera has to someone she can trust
that would also be willing to drop everything and travel the world as her
bodyguard. They are both on opposite
sides of the political spectrum, which means they debate often but never maliciously.
This had been a weird week. Last weekend had two mass shootings and
that’s all people were talking about on the news and social media. Fanis blurted out, “All they want to do is
blame Trump but offer no solutions except gun control, which has never helped
in any country that has ever tried it.”
“Well, the El Paso guy was
obviously a racist” opined Kera
“And the Dayton guy was an
obvious leftist that loved Elizabeth Warren.
Do you blame her?”
“Well no, but it needs to be
talked about.”
“They’re not talking about
it It’s a power play to advance liberal
narratives. I think everything they have
said is a lie. The US doesn’t lead the
world in gun deaths not mass shootings.
As gun possession has risen, gun deaths have fallen. England banned guns and there’s more violent
crime here than in America and there’s a knife homicide epidemic. They’re not about solutions, they just want
power. It’s sickening how they
politicize this shit.”
“What would be your solution?”
“You can’t rely on anyone to
protect you. Protect yourself. Arm yourself so you can shoot back. Stop
bribing people to get divorced. Families
matter. Community matters. Teach your kids that the world doesn’t
revolve around them. Teach them some
respect. Be a parent, don’t be a friend
to your children. That’s what we need.”
“I don’t see how you can call it
a power play.”
“They are deplatforming people
that don’t agree with them. They protest
GoDaddy from being a server for websites.
They attack restaurants and stores for serving conservatives. How can you not say it’s a power play. It’s fascism.
They did this shit in Italy.”
“Are you talking about 8 Chan?”
“I’m talking about a lot of
things but yes 8 Chan is a good example.
GoDaddy banned them originally and now the new server they have kicked
them off because of one bad apple.
That’s like banning the postal service because of the anthrax scare.”
“So you think these people
should get a platform to spew their hate to their followers?”
“Yes, because you know who else
is on those platforms?”
“Who, people that disagree with
them so they can debate them in the marketplace of ideas?” Kera replied
condescendingly
“No, law enforcement that can
track them and bait them into a meeting.
It’s a perfect place for a sting operation.”
“But like you always complain
with the mainstream media, once the rumor is started it goes all around the
world but the debunking response doesn’t catch the same fire.”
“When people get arrested,
acolytes think twice. What’s the
alternative? They can’t get the message
out so do it under the radar where it’s more difficult to track them? You think that these whackos just go away
because they don’t have a platform? They
all of a sudden become sane?”
“Well no, but their influence is
local and contained.”
“That’s not a good thing. Mass killers spread their message before
social media. People nowadays could do
it too if they wanted to. Better to have
an open forum where they can be tracked.”
“I don’t know, I think they
should be suppressed. No press is bad
press. Condemning them is giving them
name recognition and people can follow.
The risks may outweigh the rewards.”
“Who decides that though? Where does it end? Who decides what’s okay to put on the
platform? Look at twitter. If you say anything conservative, you’re
banned for hate speech.”
“No, if you attack someone.”
“No, it’s if you attack a
liberal. Liberals say vile disgusting things
to conservatives all the time with no consequences. Laura Loomer attacks Sharia law and she gets
banned from Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Uber, Lyft, Chase Bank among
others. This is a police state.”
“I think you’re
overreacting. Anyway, you mentioned how
this is like Fascist Italy”
“I did:”
“That’s where we’re going next”
“Alright”
“Well, technically Vatican
City.”
“You have a client in the
Vatican?”
“Yea, why is that weird?”
Fanis thought about it and he
really had no answer. Every room in the
Vatican is floor to ceiling frescos of ornate art. There are many statues in the rooms so adding
Chinese artifacts seemed to fit right in.
They boarded the plane and flew to Rome.
While on the plane, Kera remarked to Fanis, “Well, Texas congressman
Joaquin Castro posted Trump donors and employers on his twitter feed.”
“There the left goes trying to
incite violence again. That didn’t take
long.”
“It’s public information”
“It’s public information to
deter against bribery and pay to play schemes, not for social justice
harassment.”
“It’s perfectly legal”
“Just because it’s legal,
doesn’t make it right. It’s not against
the law to scream on the phone in a movie theater but that doesn’t make it a
good idea.”
“This is a little different”
“You’re right it is. In the movie theater, you’re doing something
that will get people mad at you. This is
calling people to attack other people.”
“I thought you said you can’t
blame the people speaking for crazy people”
“For generic positions. The definition of a psychiatric disorder is
the exaggeration of a normal trait. I
think it’s acceptable to be concerned with the massive flow of illegal
immigrations coming into our country because we don’t know their backgrounds or
what they want to do here. Going to a
Walmart and targeting them trying to kill as many as you can is taking that
normal concern into psychosis. Castro is
specifically targeting people and sending a message to the left to go get them
knowing that they will. Neither Trump
nor Elizabeth Warren made a list of people to attack in El Paso or Dayton. So, yes, if anything happens to anyone on
that list, it’s Castro’s fault.”
“We’ll just have to wait and see
if something does.”
“Yea, I hope it doesn’t.”
“Me too”
“That’s like the only thing we
can agree on.”
“MSNBC’s Nicole Wallace said
Trump was talking about exterminating Latinos so maybe he did make a list.”
“You don’t seriously believe
that right? I mean show me the clip
where Trump said to exterminate Latinos or anything remotely similar.”
Kera giggled, “No, I know. It’s ridiculous but people know that Trump
didn’t say that. She’s just trying to
resonate with people and wake them up.”
“That’s called lying.”
“It’s a white lie”
“No, it really isn’t. It’s a vicious lie with the intent to incite
a race riot. I actually don’t think it’s
protected under the 1st amendment it’s so bad. In any other time other than the last three
years, she would have been fired. “
“But this is the time of Trump
where people can double down as Krugman and others have said that Trump is an
enabler of racism.”
“Well, they use the racist label
all the time. It’s disgusting, wrong and
immoral but it’s not nearly as bad as what Wallace said.”
“True”
They arrive in Rome and
immediately go to the Vatican. Kera
said, “Alright, so the meeting is in St. Peter’s Basilica. Do you want to go see the Sistine Chapel, I’m
pretty sure nobody is going to try something in the largest church in the
world.”
“The Sistine Chapel is the most
boring room in the Vatican. Literally
every room leading up to it is more ostentatious and ornate than the Sistine
Chapel. It’s one of the biggest disappointments
ever.”
“Wow, tough crowd”
“Have you seen it?”
“No”
“If you have, you’d
understand. I’ll be in the church.”
“Fanis walks around St. Peter’s
as Kera sits in the pew discussing the artifact she is selling. Fanis overhears college age kids exclaim, “Oh
look at this own on twitter.”
“What?”
“Someone attacked the New York
Times for changing a headline because people complained. Nate Silver, who’s like a really famous
pollster, tweets, “LOL, imagine a world where subscriber-based businesses are
responsible to their subscribers. It’s
not fucking Orwell bro.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Obviously a paper should care
what their readers want.”
Fanis interjected, “Funny, I
thought the purpose of a newspaper was to report the news. A journalist is supposed to search for truth
and then write about it.”
“If nobody reads it, they’ll
have no business.”
“If you change your story
because one person doesn’t like it, then you have no stories. Every story is going to be disliked by
someone.”
The two college kids contemplate
this. “So you think it’s fake news?”
“That was a big leap. I mean, yes I do but not because of anything
we discussed. The New York Times is busy
perpetuating a narrative. The readers
want the narrative and the story even if it’s made up. That’s fine.
Many people read the onion for a laugh and not for the news. This tweet is saying that the New York Times
isn’t interested in reporting facts and the news. It’s only interested in liberal narratives
and stories. That is fine but just own
it and admit it. Also, I’m not entirely
sure why you have this beautiful cathedral that you can search and admire but
instead you’re on twitter.”
“I can admire and tweet my
admiration. That’s what college students
do.”
“Ah, I see. Seems like you’re missing the experience.”
“It’s called multi-tasking”
“Given how hard it is for you
twenty-something’s to focus, I seriously doubt your ability to do that.”
“Whatever man” as they stormed
off.
Fanis went back to walking
around the cathedral and extensively touring it. When Kera was done, she went and got him and
they exited Vatican City. Fanis asked,
“Successful trip?”
“Yes, it was. These Swiss guards have a lot of money.”
“Yea, an entire country funded
by Catholic guilt. I mean, if you went
into the Vatican and reminded yourself that the man who lives there tells his followers
to live a life of poverty, it is probably the greatest hypocrisy of all time.”
“More hypocritical than
liberals?” Kera posed humorously.’
“It’s close” Fanis answered
kicking himself for falling for the trap.
“Hold on, I actually want to get
a papal rosary for my friend, I’ll be right back.”
Fanis replied, “Alright, I’m
going to get some Gelato. Nothing tastes
like Italian Gelato.”
Fanis went to get Gelato and
then realized he never told Kera where they were meeting. Then he remembered this was Italy. It’s very easy to find a girl walking by
herself. Just look for a group of
womanizers. Sure enough, he saw a crowd
of men with cheesy smiles on their faces.
He walked over and Kera was yelling at them to stop touching her. Fanis pushed his way through and put his arm
around his cousin and glared at the men.
Predictably, they all put their hands up and declared, “Mi Scusi”
Fanis rolled his eyes. Of the 40 countries he had been to, he had
never seen cat calling or womanizing worse than Italy. Some claim that Egypt was worse but he hadn’t
experienced it. He knows of two
occasions where a girl dressed nicely to go to a club was ejaculated on because
a man on the bus was so turned on, he thought to whip our his member and
pleasure himself. To date, he had never
seen that in any other country. Kera
pointed at one man and cried out, “He grabbed my ass.”
“MI scusi” was all the guy had
to say for himself.
Fanis knew that the situation
was over. Once a guy shows up that the
girl is with, they back down. They’re
not interested in taking out the guy to steal the girl. Fanis knew that Kera wanted him to get
revenge but Fanis also knew it was unnecessary.
He decided on a compromise. He
grabbed the man’s arm, which was raised in retreat and spun him around. Fanis put him in a half nelson and held his
arms behind his back gripping the Italian’s biceps so he couldn’t wriggle
out. Fanis uttered, “Look, he was
leaving so if you want retribution, you’re going to have to get your hands
dirty.”
Kera didn’t hesitate and slapped
the man across the face before kneeing him in the groin. Fanis let go and watched them man drop to the
ground writhing in pain. The other men
had already left. Kera smiled and pulled
up her shorts to reveal a woman’s symbol tattoo on her thigh. She smiled and she and Fanis walked
away. The next day, Kera and Fanis
boarded the plane back to London. When
they landed, the country was buzzing with the latest news. Fanis asked someone, “What happened?”
“Well, there’s more text
messages revealed from the Americans”
“From Strzok and Page?”
“No, this time with McCabe and
Jeremy Fleming.”
“Who’s Jeremy Fleming?” Kera
posed
“He used to work at MI5 but now
he’s at GCHQ. Like your CIA”
Fanis smiled, “Just one more way
for Britain to get derogatory information about Russian collusion to the
American intelligence agencies without bothering with the Woods procedure or
the five eyes used to vet information.”
“Quite right, they mentioned the
‘strange situation’ as they called it in 2016.”
“Yea, Trump winning”
“Not just that but they blame
Brexit on Russian collusion too now.”
“Wow, they really have nothing
else do they? That’s their excuse for
everything they don’t like. It’s always
the Russians did it.”
“Well, it wasn’t just 2016. They say it started back in late 2015 spying
on Trump.”
Kera articulated, “This is
London, everyone is spied on here.”
Fanis retorted, “Yea, but this
time they’re spying on Americans in America.
This is the epitome of meddling in our elections by a foreign
power. Only it’s not the Russians, it’s
the British”
“It’s just a routine transfer of
information.”
The Englishman rejoined, “If you
think this is routine, then I guess that’s the problem. People are so used to being spied on, they’ve
gotten used to that. Communist countries
like East Berlin were like that too.”
“It appears I’m outnumbered”
Kera exclaimed
“For once” Fanis opined.
They talked with the Englishman
for a little while longer and then went back to their house. It was a successful trip in that Kera was
able to make a sale and she arranged to have the artifact sent to the Vatican
to add to their massive collection of beautiful art from all over the
world.
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