Theo the Trump Employee Episode 8 Fight Night!

                There is an opening on the Supreme Court and President Trump is looking through his candidates to nominate as the next Justice.  Various people have who they would pick and they advise the President.  Eventually, he decides on Brett Kavanaugh.  It’s not a pick that conservative leaders had in their top three candidates but they have no strong feelings against it.  All it comes down to is a confirmation hearing by the Senate.  Normally, these things are non-events and don’t get much fan fare.  What transpires turns into the highest strung intense political battles in history.  A woman by the name of Christine Blaséy-Ford alleges that Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her in high school.  As the facts came out and corroborating witnesses were named and asked, there was not one shred of evidence that Ford was telling the truth.  Her best friend said she didn’t remember it.  She admits to being 15 and not having a license but nobody drove her to and from the party.  She was not within walking distance. The closest thing she had was that she passed a polygraph test but then it came out that she trains people on how to beat polygraph tests.  As is an unfortunate flaw in mankind, people want to be included in anything.  When there is a string of suicides, they ask people who survive their suicide attempts and they normally respond, “I wanted to know what it felt like” or “I wanted to find out why so many people are trying it.”  The problem is that the real answer to the common question parents ask their kids when their excuse to something was that their friends did it “Would you jump off a bridge if your friend was doing it” is “yes.” 

Crying rape is no exception as people came out of the woodwork to accuse Kavanaugh of rape.  Their logic was simple.  There was no evidence that Ford knew Kavanaugh and she could do it so they can accuse him too.  The worst perpetuator of this was a woman who got a lawyer named Michael Avenatti to represent her.  Avenatti became famous for representing pornographic stars.  His client’s accusations were so ridiculous that it was the only one that even the Democratic Senators, that exploited every accusation, didn’t take seriously.  As Avenatti became frustrated that he was the only person not receiving backup from the media and the Democratic Senators, he turned to social media to complain.  As he was mocked by Donald Trump Jr., Avenatti challenged Trump Jr. to a fight.  This prompted a conservative podcast host, Dan Bongino to volunteer in Trump Jr’s place since Trump couldn’t for obvious reasons.  Avenatti turned down the challenge.

 

                It had been almost a year since Kavanaugh was nominated as the next Supreme Court Justice.  A 35-year-old bald husky Greek man is working in the Trump White House.  In his move to DC, he reconnected with a girl he knew in high school named Tatiana.  Tatiana was of Ukrainian decent and actually met Theo in Greece.  She had spent a considerable amount of time in Ukraine working for the pro-Ukraine candidate running against Russian-friendly Porchenko.  It turned out that Ukrainian politics was a dirty game even for political standards.  It also ended up being an entrepreneurial endeavor and Tatiana made enough money to set her for life but as soon as she did she got out as quick as she could.  Now back in the States, she was working as a nurse trying to avoid politics but that’s a hard thing to do in Washington D.C. 

                The country has been in a crisis the last two years.  Unlike most crises in countries, the economy has nothing to do with it.  In fact, the stock market keeps hitting all time highs and unemployment and underemployment is at 50 year lows.  Minorities are moving up in social status as their unemployment and underemployed is at all time lows.  This is all despite having a so-called “racist” President; at least that’s what the media says all day every day.  The crisis is that a non-establishment candidate, Donald Trump, won the presidency with no experience, which drove the establishment swamp-rat politicians on both sides crazy.  The old rules were out and now people were exposing themselves as the corrupt, lying, cheating and stealing disgraces that they are.  Instead of Republicans vs. Democrats, it was Trump supporters vs. the world. 

This caused the non-Trump supporters to align themselves with avid socialists that were taking over the Democratic Party.  The mainstream media was defending domestic terrorist organizations like Antifa that attacked black and white conservatives in the streets and in restaurants.  As we stand a year and a half away from another presidential campaign, socialists are thirsty for a new voting bloc. Now that their ghettos and barrios meant to keep minorities down and subservient are failing and minorities start their upward trend to financial independence from the government, they are leaving the Democratic Party.  Democrats are now trying to stop President Trump from protecting the border so illegal immigrants can come in and then claiming that illegal immigrants should be able to vote.  They also want inmates to vote because they are starting to realize that by keeping minorities down in barrios and ghettos they are turning to crime and for every one that gets arrested, that’s one less voter for them. 

After three years of attacking Trump viciously and vitriolically, the pool of Democratic candidates is rising as they all think Trump is vulnerable to be beaten in 2020.  Of course, they also all thought he had no chance against Hillary Clinton three years earlier.  Former Vice President Joe Biden, after weeks of hinting and then stepping back only to step forward, has officially thrown his hat in the ring and announced he is going to run for President. 

After this happens, Theo calls Tatiana and asks her to have dinner.  She accepts and Theo informs her that one of his friends is going to join them named Ayeesha.   Theo met Ayeesha in college through a friend and is an attorney.  They go to the restaurant and sit to eat.  Although most people avoid politics, Theo isn’t one of them.  He had to keep his mouth shut when he lived in New York for 17 years but with the socialist infestation in politics, he has become much more vocal.  He says, “So what do we think about Biden running for President?”

Ayeesha says, “I give him credit for calling out Trump on that Charlottesville BS”

“You mean the lie that the media keeps telling?”

“It’s not a lie. He said that there are good people on both sides.”

“Good people on both sides of the debate on whether or not to take down the Confederate statues.  Later in the same speech, he specifically says he isn’t talking about the White Supremacists because they should be condemned totally.  Doesn’t matter how many times this lie is repeated, it’s still a lie.”

“Well, I don’t know.  I feel like the media would’ve told us that.”

“Don’t you have access to Lexis-Nexus or some legal library that you can look this shit up that’s more elaborate than Google?”

“I’m not working a case; I don’t have a need for discovery.”

                “Well, if you care about the truth, you’ll look it up.”

                “I like Biden though, he’s more of a centrist and he already has experience in the White House.”

                “I have experience working in the White House, I shouldn’t be President”

                “Yea well he was involved in policy.”

                “Yea, let’s look at that policy.  He was part of a team that had the worst economic recovery after a recession in history, they couldn’t figure out how to activate a website, when they finally passed ObamaCare premiums went up and care went down, and they are the only presidency to never reach 3% growth in any year in office.  Damn, I’m real impressed!  Oh, I forgot, he took over student loans and that’s a mess now.  Kids owe more than ever, thank God we graduated in 2006 before this shit happened!”

                “Well, the economy is finally hitting a plateau; all the economic advisors said that 3% is unrealistic”

                “So how did Trump do it?  He even hit 4% in some quarters.”

                “Whatever, that was Obama not Biden.”

                Ayeesha froze when she said that.  Theo smiled but didn’t exploit what she just said.  He decided to just stick to Biden, “Fine, let’s talk about Biden.  In 1987, he had to drop out of the primary because he was caught plagiarizing a speech by a British labor party leader.  He said it word for word and just changed the British guys name with his own.”

                “I’d rather have a plagiarizer than a racist.  Besides, if he becomes President, he won’t be writing his speeches anyway.  It’s right up his alley; he gives someone else’s speech.”

                “That’s real comforting.  He also said he graduated at the top of his law school but he actually graduated toward the bottom.”

                “Still a lawyer.”

                “He’s a liar”

                Tatiana said, “Isn’t that redundant?” with a smile

                Ayeesha smiled back and said, “ Ha ha” sarcastically

                Theo continued, “And how do you call Trump a racist?  What did he say that was racist?”

                Ayeesha thought about it and said, “So many things but I can’t come up with an example now.”

                “Well, there was that one time when he said, ‘They’re going to put y’all in chains’ when talking to a group of Black people.  He was talking about how the Democrats set up the ghettoes and barrios to keep blacks down.”

                “Oh come on! You don’t think that’s racist?  That’s disgusting!  I don’t care what point he was making.  Putting us in chains!”

                Tatiana and Theo both smiled and Tatiana said, “You have to be careful with Theo, he sets people up.”

                Ayeesha turned to Tatiana and said, “What do you mean?”

                “He wasn’t quoting Trump, he was quoting Biden.”

                Ayeesha shoulders slumped.  He turned to Theo and said, “Now who’s the liar?”

                “I didn’t say Trump said it, I said ‘he’ you assumed ‘he’ meant Trump.  I’m not responsible for your assumption.”

                “We were on the topic of Trump, it was a logical conclusion”

                “But not something I actually said counselor”

                “Wait, I don’t think Biden would have talked against Barrios and Ghettoes and the Democrats covering them up.”

                Theo’s eyes darted back and forth.  He said, “Okay, yea, that part was a lie.  He was saying ‘they’ for Republicans.  But why aren’t blacks up in arms about Biden for saying shit like that?”

                “Because he was talking against Republicans”

                “What about when he called Obama the ‘first clean African-American candidate’ and how he speaks so clearly?  I mean if a Republican said that, they’d be shot.”

                Ayeesha chuckled, “I’m having flash backs of 1999”

                Theo started laughing, “Yea, the whole Chris Rock talking about how Colin Powell should run for president.” Theo switched into the best Chris Rock voice he could muster, “White people always have the same compliment about Colin Powell; ‘he speaks so well’ ‘he’s so well spoken’ ‘he just speaks so well’ like that’s a compliment! ‘Speaks so well is something you say about retarded people….that can talk.  He’s an educated man! What voice were you expecting to come out of his mouth?  Yo check this out I be Pres-O-dent.”

                Tatiana and Ayeesha both laughed and Tatiana said, “Yea, that’s when Chris Rock was actually funny.”

                Theo said, “It’s not even just blacks.  Biden said that you can’t work at 7/11 unless you have an Indian accent.  I don’t know why people let white Democrats get away with this.  It’s like how most blacks say it’s okay if Bill Clinton uses the n-word because he’s one of them.  Why is he one of them?”

                “I’m beginning not to like Biden now.  Good thing I got like 22 other candidates.  But we’re being rude.  I’m sure Tatiana doesn’t want us to have this discussion now.”

                Tatiana said, “No I have my own problems with Biden.”

                Ayeesha said, “Like what?”

                “Well, Theo forgot the groping of women.”

                Ayeesha turned to Theo, “Well that’s because he’s Greek and Europeans are very touchy feely”

                Theo laughed, “I don’t grab little girls to smell their hair.  That’s just creepy”

                Tatiana said, “Yea I mean did you see Hillary when Biden grabbed her by the elbows she arched her entire back trying to put separation.  But that’s Theo’s point, if anyone else did that; they’d call it sexual assault. Just because he does that to every woman he sees, doesn’t make it okay, it makes him a serial assaulter with no respect for women”

                Theo goes, “Yea but he’s a Democrats and Democrats are above the law and this type of criticism”

                Ayeesha gave him a dirty look and Tatiana said, “Yea, but that’s all juvenile stuff.  I mean girls claim sexual assault if you call them ‘cute.’ And everything is racist now.  You missed the worst shit.”

                Theo said, “Do tell”

                “Well when I was living in Ukraine in 2014, there was a strange coincidence.  Joe Biden arrived to help us ward off Russian influence in our politics.  I worked closely with him and he was giving us money and strategy.  It was good but it was at a price.  After he left, all of a sudden his son, Hunter, who had no prior experience, was hired to be on the board of Burisma.  Burisma is the largest gas company in Ukraine and over there energy is king.  Within a month, there was money laundering accusations, which caused British official to freeze like $ 23 million that belonged to Zlochevsky, who works for Burisma.”

                Ayeesha said, “That sounds very sketchy but it could just be Zlochevsky and have been coincidental.”

                Tatiana retorted, “Then why did Biden tell the Ukrainian President that if he doesn’t fire the prosecutor general that was investigating this money laundering operation, he’d stop a billion dollars in aid to the country?”

                Ayeesha said, “Seems like he was hiding something.”

                “Yea, the prosecutor general was investigating a large sum of money to a company that Hunter Biden set up with John Kerry’s son.  The money came from Burisma.”

                Theo said, “Wasn’t someone just investigated for two years by a special counsel for trying to do business in Russia?  Oh and wasn’t he accused of obstruction of justice for firing an attorney general”

                Ayeesha said, “Yea but he actually fired the AG not just talked about it”

                Tatiana said, “The president fired the Prosecutor General in Ukraine too.  The one now wants to reopen the case now that Biden is no longer in power to withhold aid from them.”

                Theo said, “And I’m guessing this money laundering operation stopped after the prosecutor general was fired.”

                Tatiana said, “Yes, it did”

                “Ayeesha refresh my memory, after Comey was fired, was there still an investigation?”Ayeesha rolled her eyes and Theo continued, “Oh yea, that was like the start of the investigation”

                Ayeesha said, “Look, I’m not defending Biden.  I just don’t like Trump.  But, Tatiana makes some good points.”

                Theo chuckled, “Of course she did.  But you did say I changed your mind before Tatiana chimed in.”

                “I did, but Tatiana really stepped on Biden’s throat”

                “Even I have to agree with that.” Said Theo

                They all smiled and Ayeesha said, “Alright, I don’t know why but I feel like I have to defend Biden.  I mean nobody is all bad.”

                “Ah, the lawyer comes out.” Retorted Theo

                “Yes, and you have to think about how primaries work.”

                Theo said, “Alright you’re turn to enlighten”

                “Not everyone is an educated voter.  In fact, I bet even most people aren’t.  So, in a general election, you can cheat, you can just vote for the party you like even if you don’t know who the person is.”

                Theo said, “Well that’s true.”

                “But you can’t do that in a primary because you just have the person’s name”

                “Okay”

                “So, Joe Biden has name ID.  People know him”

                “They know Bernie Sanders too”

                “Can you name all 23 candidates?” Theo tried and only got to seven Ayeesha said, “See what I mean, and you actually follow this stuff”

                “Is that all you got?”

                “Nope, his last name starts with a ‘B’ the names are listed alphabetically so he may be the first person on the ticket.”

                “I want to say that that doesn’t matter but I have a feeling it does.”

                “You get about 9% of the vote if you’re listed first.  People are lazy, they’re like “oh look I need to vote for this one, umm candidate one, fine, here’s my vote because who cares.”

                Tatiana said, “I really want to disagree with you but I don’t”

                Ayeesha continued, “Yea and with such a large field, you only need a plurality not a majority.”

                Theo said, “So, 9% would go a long way.”

                “Yea, a field this big, you may only need around 20%.  Furthermore, if we get to the convention and there’s still two or three candidates, then it goes to super-delegates.  And Super-delegates are establishment types.  They are going to pick Biden because he’s the establishment candidate.  Bernie Sanders already had the Democratic establishment conspire against him and sabotage his campaign for Hillary in 2016, they definitely won’t pick him.  Biden doesn’t have to win the primaries; he just needs to be in the hunt at the time of the convention.  Everyone else has to win.”

                There was a brief silence as the information sunk in and then Theo said, “But wait, everything you’re saying is about Biden as a candidate not him as a person or what he stands for or anything personal to him”

                Ayeesha gave a condescending look at Theo and said, “This is politics, the candidate matters.  Sometimes more than the person.”

                The dinner ended and Tatiana said she had to get back to the hospital because she was on call.  Theo and Ayeesha were heading the same direction on the train so decided to take it together.  While down there, a group of people with masks on their face started screaming at them.  They called Ayeesha a race traitor and Theo a NAZI”

                Theo laughed and said, “Why?  Because I’m bald?”

                “No, we know you work at the White House for that racist bigot Trump”

                This was Theo’s first encounter with ANTIFA.  They sounded bull horns next to Ayeesha’s ear and threw coke on Theo. Theo saw phones out.  Ayeesha was scared but Theo wasn’t.  Every member of the group was white and they were calling Ayeesha an ‘Uncle Tom’ and a racist.  Theo said, “You really don’t see the irony in white people telling a black person how to be black?”

                “Shut the fuck up Fascist” a large rotund man got in Theo’s face screaming “Fuck you” repeatedly.  Theo just smiled. 

                Ayeesha was grabbed by two men and thrown to the ground.  They said, “How can you betray your race by hanging out with him?”

                Theo was no longer smiling.  He shoved the big man and tackled one of the men that threw Ayeesha down.  He was also the one who had the bullhorn and Theo grabbed the bullhorn and slammed it against the other guy’s face knocking him onto his back.  The large man that had gotten in Theo’s face charged him and threw a punch that was highly telegraphed.  Theo ducked and spun towards him.  When the fist went over his head he got up and punched the man in the kidneys.  The man swung his arm back and Theo ducked again and uppercutted him when he was facing him again.  The large man took a few steps back and then fell back.  Theo took the bullhorn that he had dropped when he ducked the first time and straddled the second guy he hit and repeatedly hit him with the can drawing blood.  Ayeesha grabbed him by the arm affectionately.  She pulled the mask off the 1^st guy Theo hit who was holding the back of his head that snapped against the ground when he got tackled.  She had her phone out and took a picture of his face.  Now that Theo got up, she did the same thing with the bloodied guy. 

                Ayeesha took charge after this.  She said, “Take the other guys mask off, I’m pressing charges.”

                “Did I ruin that?”

                “Nah, I’m good at what I do.  I’ll get someone that can get you out of it.”

                Theo pulled down the big guy’s mask and Ayeesha took a picture with her phone.  She then went around to the spectators with their cameras out and turned on the charm.  She offered them all twenty dollars for the videos and they all obliged.  The three guys got up and Theo walked to an area where all three were in front of him.  Ayeesha hid behind him and called 911.  Turns out it was just precautionary. Once all three realized the anonymity of the masks were off they left the station and ran up the stairs.  Ayeesha went to the nearest precinct and filed a complaint and expressed that she wanted to press charges.  It didn’t take the cops long to figure out who they were and they arrested them.  They tried to countersue but a lawyer at Ayeesha’s firm represented Theo and got the case thrown away quickly.  They pled guilty and got a minimum sentence.  Theo bragged about fighting off three men but Ayeesha was quick to point out that these men weren’t exactly masculine. 

 

                Biden wasn’t the only one talking about running for president.  Republican governor of Maryland, Larry Hogan, expressed interest to run in a primary against Donald Trump.  This caused Dan Bongino, who normally is very cognizant of the fight the country is in, to go off against Larry Hogan.  Bongino and Hogan had history when they both ran in the same election cycle when Bongino lived in Maryland.  It was before Hogan’s first term and Bongino had helped his campaign out.  Hogan than turned on all his conservative values and distanced himself from them.  This happened a lot when Republicans entered the swamp to find out the Democrats ran the DOJ, FBI and CIA like a mob regime.  Trump was the only one with the guts to stand up to the mob.  This is why it was no surprise he hired Giuliani to his campaign as Giuliani was the only one to stand up to the Italian mob in New York and he won.  Trump was hoping to do to the country what Giuliani did in New York.  Bongino was a NYPD officer during the transition to Giuliani’s broken window policy.  With Bongino threatening to take the gloves off and reveal all the skeletons in Hogan’s closet if he runs against Trump in a primary, Hogan had second thoughts.

                Bongino oscillated between the second and third highest rated conservative podcast in the country.  Because of this, hundreds of thousands of people heard his rant.  Social media being social media it had reached millions.  One person in particular that heard was Michael Avenatti.  Avenatti had had a series of unfortunate events since Kavanaugh.  He tried to extort Nike and Nike responded by suing him.  He lost the lawsuit and was now angry at his fall from grace.  He called Larry Hogan and said, “I know you don’t know me Mr. Hogan, my name is Michael Avenatti”

                “I’ve heard of you.  How can I help you?”

                “We have a shared enemy”

                “Who would that be?”

                “Dan Bongino”

                There was silence on the phone and Hogan said, “He’s just bitter because I won my campaign and he didn’t”

                “Yes, I know this but I have a way to humiliate him and make him fall from grace”

                “I’m listening”

                “He challenged me to a fight.  I say we challenge him to a gauntlet match.”

                Hogan chuckled, “I’m not sure I follow.”

                “We both challenge him to a 2-1 but he has to fight us one at a time.”

                “You do know he was a Secret Service agent and a cop right?”

                “Yes, and he just had surgery on both his elbows and he’s got a bad back.  He won’t accept and then he’ll look like a fool.  His fans will lose respect for him for backing down from a fight that he made the initial challenge.  We win”

                “If you’re so sure, you go first.”

                “That’s fine; it’s not going to happen anyway”

                “Alright, what do you need me to do?”

                “Just follow my lead. I’ll put it out in the press”

                “Okay, if you think it’ll work.”

                Avenatti smiled and ended the conversation.  The next day he went on TV and said he was accepting Bongino’s challenge but Bongino has to take on him and Hogan.  Bongino put the clip on his instagram and twitter account with an arrow pointing down asking if they were serious.  On his podcast the next day he laughed off the challenge. 

                After the podcast, Hogan called Avenatti and said, “You were right, he’s not going to take it.  It’s time to go on the offensive.  We need to insult him.  He’s got too many maladies to take the fight.  We’ll back him in a corner.  I know that Bongino talks a lot about being revolted by violence.   He avoids it any way he can. Now with all the surgeries and back problems he has, I say we humiliate him.”

                Avenatti said, “I agree, let’s go on TV together.”

                They did and they took the gloves off.  Hogan talked about a story when Bongino was in the NYPD and a guy he was trying to arrest hit him with an ironing board and kept wailing on him until Bongino’s partner came and fought off the perpetrator.  Avenatti picky backed and said, “Now he’s going to hide behind his medical maladies that he’s always whining about.  Remember, he challenged me.  I’m merely accepting.  I didn’t start this fight, he did.”

                Hogan said, “He talks tough, but he’s not.  My grandmother always told me, never pick a fight but if someone picks a fight with you, give it to them good.  Bongino is a bully just like President Trump. He wants me to not challenge Trump in a primary so he threatened me.  Well, I say the only way to deal with a bully is to punch him in the mouth.  Let’s see if Bongino will give me the chance.”

                After the video went viral, journalists flocked to Bongino for comment.  They didn’t have to wait long as he was a Fox contributor and had an appearance on the five the next day.  He was asked and Bongino smiled and said, “Hey, look, I accept.  I don’t really know what they’re thinking.  I’ve seen them, they have no experience.  They know all about my law enforcement experience.  So yea, let’s do this.”

                Avenatti assured Hogan that Bongino was bluffing and they double downed on the insults.  Bongino stayed quiet and just set a date.  The media took this and ran with it.  It was going to happen in DC as Bongino agreed to go to their turf.  Bongino changed the stipulation that they could be in the ring at the same time.   The fight was set and once people found out there was interest, tickets went on sale.  Theo, who was a Bongino fan, bought two tickets and invited Tatiana.  Tatiana agreed only to do something different than she normally did.  The date arrived and Tatiana and Theo sat close to the octagon.  Tatiana looked over and giggled.  Theo said, “What?”

                She motioned her head in a direction that Theo followed and saw former CIA director John Brennan sitting to watch the fight.  Theo’s eyes widened and his head snapped back in surprise.  He said, “Is that who I think it is?”

                Tatiana said, “Yup, John Brennan”

                “Yea, the guy that lied about not seeing the Dossier before December 2016, yet he briefed the gang of eight before then.”

                Tatiana smiled, “Who says he’s lying?”

                “How do you brief someone on a dossier you haven’t seen?”

                “You know for someone that’s such a stickler for words and going by exactly what the sentence says, you’re falling for your own trick.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Like when you always talk about how you ‘slept with her’”

                “No, I understand the trick but how am I falling for it?”

                “Did you read the FISA warrant?”

                “It’s heavily redacted but yes I did.”

                “Not very carefully”

                “What do you mean?”

                “There’s a footnote about source 1, which was Steele talking to a known US intelligence agent, which is Brennan about the dirt on Carter Page.”

                “Which only exists in the dossier.”

                “Right, I know that now”

                “Okay”

                “Have I seen the Dossier?”

                “I don’t know, it’s public information so maybe”

                “I can tell you the Dossier has allegations that Trump watched a golden showers show when he was in Moscow for Miss America.  I can tell you that the dossier says Trump’s attorney Michael Cohen went to Prague to discuss back door meeting with Russians.  Now if I told you I have never seen the dossier would you believe me?”

                “Yes, because all this was in the media.  All that was debunked by the way.”

                “Think about what I’m saying.  I just told you about the dossier that I never read.  You said you believe me.  Why don’t you believe Brennan for the same thing?”

                Theo hesitated and then his eyes widened, “He didn’t see the document, he talked to Steele and Simpson, who wrote the Dossier and they told him what was in it.”

                Tatiana smiled, “Now you’re getting it.”

                “Man, I should’ve figured that out.  That is my game.”

                “Well he is CIA so don’t feel too bad that he beat you at your own game.  I’m just glad the Democrats are finally admitting that Trump was spied on.  It was so ridiculous when they denied it.”

                “Yea, now they’re arguing that there was a good reason for it.”

                “All back to the dossier”

                “No, they don’t even admit that.  They just say that the FISA court signed off on it.”

                “What’s wrong with that?”

                “The FISA court is not the affiant.  They look at a document that says it’s been verified by the Woods Procedure, or that the five eyes intelligence of US, England, Australia, New Zealand and Canada looked at it and verified it.  That never happened.  It never went through official channels.  They lied to the FISA court that the dossier was verified when it wasn’t.  That’s not the fault of the FISA court, that’s the fault of everyone who signed it was authentic.”

                “Yea but if Trump was talking to Russians, then they had a reason to investigate.”

                “I know you hate the Russians but it’s not illegal for a foreigner to talk to a US politician, it happens all the time.  The problem is if you do it against a US Law, which Trump didn’t”

                “Well that’s what they’re investigating”

                “That’s not how FISA courts work.  You need a crime before you get the FISA.  What was the crime?  Who was the foreign actor that Trump broke a law in talking to?  What’s his name?  You were in Ukraine.  You were on the front lines fighting the Russian government.  You should know the players.  Name the Russian.”

                Tatiana thought about this and said, “Putin”

                “What conversation with Putin broke the law?  You got the first prong, you named a Russian; A Russian that doesn’t seem to be close with Trump but besides the point.  What law did he break?”

                “Well, the FISA wasn’t against Trump, it was against Carter Page.”

                “I think there was other FISA’s but fine.  No speculation.  Carter Page was never charged with a crime.  He wasn’t charged because the dossier was unverified.  They swore to a BS document.”

                “I guess you have a point.  I can tell you both prongs about Carter Page.  A Russian gas company bribed him in order to lift sanctions on Russia and repeal the Magnitsky Act.  It’s been disproved now but at least I can articulate the alleged crime.  I can’t do that with Trump.”

                “Yea, back to our MI6 agent Christopher Steele that laundered information into the FISA court and the DOJ”

                “Yea”

                “You know that?”

                “I told you, I read the FISA”

                “It says that in the FISA?  I read it to but it’s a boring read.”

                “Yea, well I didn’t mind it.  But yea, in the footnote it talks about Christopher Steele or ‘source 1’ as they call it is a credible source.  Then it talks about his sub-source that is Russian.  It keeps talking about how credible Steele is and then admits that the information wasn’t from Steele.”

                “You don’t get vicarious credibility.  That’s why Hearsay isn’t admissible in court.”

                “Right, the dossier was hearsay from Russians to Christopher Steele to Brennan and the DOJ”

                “Like a big game of telephone.”

                “It’s information laundering.  And what ever happened to getting information from Russians is illegal?  Steele can do it but Trump can’t?”

                “Yup, if there’s one thing the last three years has taught us is that nobody is held to a higher standard and gets the book thrown at him than President Donald Trump.”

                “This is why Devin Nunes says that the transfer of information wasn’t formal.  It was oral.  Steele told Brennan, he didn’t show Brennan.  What a joke!”

                “What is taking this fight so long?”

 

                Avenatti was talking to the referee of the fight.  He was trying to argue that Bongino takes a product called, “Foundation” which is a creatine and ATP blend.  Creatine is a banned substance according to UFC rules.  The referee said, “This isn’t a UFC sanctioned fight.  There are no drug tests.  This isn’t sanctioned by any organization so it’s really my call.  Given how much trash you guys have been talking and given how Bongino is very open about his taking foundation, I don’t think it’s a problem.  You knew he took foundation.  You can also take foundation because you don’t need a prescription so yea, this fight is happening.”

                The debate went on to no avail.  The referee went to the ring and an announcer announced the fighters starting with Hogan and Avenatti.  They walked to the ring and the white haired 62-year-old Hogan looked petrified.  Avenatti was trying to fake it thinking that it was still two against one.  Bongino came to the ring with a swagger.  He looked around and couldn’t believe how many people had come for this.  The referee explained the rules and Bongino put his gloves up to touch.  Hogan touched gloves but Avenatti did not.  Bongino nodded his head and backed away hopping.  Hogan walked to the other side of the ring and watched.  Avenatti put his hands up to his face and Bongino swung back and forth alternating putting one leg almost behind the other.  The rules were that Bongino had to beat both of them.  Avenatti dropped his hands mesmerized by the moves.  Bongino put his hands down and swung his legs connecting to the side of Avenatti’s head with the balls of each of his feet knocking him down.  Bongino mounted him and started punching him in the face.  Hogan saw this as his opportunity so jumped onto Bongino’s back.  Bongino grabbed his arm and pushed his shoulder forward flipping Hogan to the ground.  He walked back over to Avenatti and mounted him.  He rolled over so that Avenatti was on top and then tucked Avenatti’s left arm into Bongino’s left armpit.  Bongino snapped his left arm down pinning Avenatti’s arm in place as his left leg raised to Avenatti’s shoulder ensuring that Avenatti’s right arm was on the outside.  Bongino put his right foot against Avenatti’s pelvis and pushed himself twisting his body to the right.  He then put his right leg up interlocking his ankles and flexing his feet and shins.  Avenatti was knocked out in seconds and the referee called it.  Bongino released the hold and Avenatti dropped face down.  An official cleared Avenatti out of the ring as he had regained consciousness but was still pretty woozy. 

At this point, Hogan was back on his feet.  Bongino stared at him smiling.  Hogan put up his hands in submission.  He said, “Dan, I’m 62-years-old, I’m almost 20 years older than you.  You don’t want to fight me.”

Dan smiled, “You challenged me bro.”

                “That was Avenatti”

                Bongino smiled wide and contemplated what would be the ramifications for what he was about to do.  He decided it was worth the fallout in the media.  Bongino was a trained boxer and a Brazilian Ju Jitzu fighter.  The Ju Jitzu he used on Avenatti with that final hold, now he was going to go to the boxing.  He stepped toward Avenatti and punched him square across the jaw breaking it and knocking him unconscious.  He said, “That’s for turning your back on all the conservatives who supported you and stabbing me in the back after I helped you on your campaign when nobody knew who you were and you couldn’t get volunteers.”

                The ref stepped in between them and said what everyone already knew that Hogan was knocked out.  Bongino raised his hands.  The ineptitude of his opponents nearly took the thrill of victory away….nearly.

                When Hogan came to, he never mentioned the fight again.  Avenatti did do a press conference in which he said that Bongino was a Ju Jitzu fighter and started out using Capoeira. He said it threw him off because he prepared for Brazilian Ju Jitzu.”

                This got to Bongino  Bongino laughed and said, “Not illegal but maybe Avenatti thought that since both martial arts are from Brazil that they’re similar.  He wondered why Avenatti just couldn’t shut up.  Avenatti went to jail for extortion and Bongino gained a few more listeners on the podcast.  The mainstream media tried to attack him for punching a 62-year-old man that seemed to be surrendering but it didn’t stick.  It’s hard to argue assault when you walk into a cage with a man with the intention to fight him.  Hogan got no sympathy and didn’t run against Trump in a Republican primary.